Helpful hints: I am poly. This means I may have other subs or lovers. Or none. According to my desires.You don't have to be poly but I will not change who I am to be with anyone. I enjoy men and women and the full spectrum in between. My interests aren't about what's between your legs so much as what is in your mind, heart and soul. I do enjoy naughty bits but I prefer to get to know you first. See if we are a good match. I host local kink events. I have a busy and fulfilling life. In order to get my attentions you will have to be interesting and should put your best foot forward. I enjoy intelligent people, no matter if they are verbose or quiet. If you're too verbose, I do have a ball gag. :) I live in Alaska. Yes it's cold here. Yes it's dark here. Yes I see the aurora's outside my house. Yes it's full of wildlife and quite amazing. Yes it's a bucket list destination. I'm happy to talk about it but if that's all you want to know then watch the discovery channel. Good luck.  

A fantasy of mine..."My internal world is rich with wicked fantasies, and I know the feeling of a tortured existence when those fantasies and desires are not fulfilled. If you’re looking for a girl who is willing and eager to open herself up to your darkest desires and most erotic dreams, then please read further.  Have you ever had a desire to see an eager, willing thing serve your every whim? Or fantasised about being tied up and chastised, told you’re a naughty boy whilst your mistress tells you just how she ought to punish you? Or perhaps you may have thought about a night out for some discreet public play, toy in you or your partner whilst the other holds the remote? Whatever your fantasy, I’d like to make it a reality.  I derive immense enjoyment from fulfilling another’s needs and desires, thus, their interests become my own. So, if you are yet to take that first step into the delicious world of sex and needing a friendly smile and eager attitude to illuminate the path, have a fantasy that you are dying to explore, or have an interest in exploring various kinks to discern what tickles your tail feather, I’m offering my body and oh-so excited mind to bring those desires to fruition.  So boys and girls, if you feel our interest may align please message me for, what could be, a wild and delicious ride. "

Caging a str8 male out of the cuckolding scene is a tricky proposition. I consider myself as a tamer of men and I find this a key part of taming and the most critical. Consider this, a str8 male's identity is built around prnetration, ejaculllation, and the exercise of unrestrined power. This trinity of str8 empowerment must be obliterated and refocused and that is where the cage is my best ally. Taking access to the object of their pride is like castraiting a str8 male, it cuts deep into their psyque and throws their world on a tailspin. A str8 male without a cock to grab is yours for the taking. Any submissive can and will understand your right to cage them period. However for a str8 male is an attempt against their masculinity and their deepest image of themselves. I usually get them used to see the superior man in e and the one who knows. Respect will make easier your demand and the logic of it. For the crowning effect they, not me must put on the restraint and the panic in their eyes can only be equated with the pain of deflowering. Like I like to say, a Bull has reasons that no str8 man will ever understand. 

I'd like to thank Master Thatch from Michigan for His very insightful comments on the issue of Ownership which I found very reassuring!  Thank you Sir!   "My last boy was owned We both live in the United States He lived in Ohio I live in Michigan We had a long distance Master and slave relationship Its possible You dont have to be a live in to be owned Now Im not saying that Master is wrong Every Master has their own ideals and definitions so theirs may be live in slaves are owned So that would indeed make them right but my definition of owned is when a boy has kneeled and pleaded their mind, body and soul to me and I have placed a collar around their neck and we are intertwined in a relationship Distance isnt an issue And Im not into live in slavery The relationship is monogamous, the boy is owned by only one Master and has only one Dom and that is me However that boy was leased out to other Doms from time to time"

I always find female dominatrix BDSM boring.... Well, to be honest, I find female dominatrix BDSM boring. I mean, don't get me wrong, I can see why some people might enjoy it(not me), but it's just not my thing even to talk or suggest. For one, for what I can see and feel very repetitive against males and paranoid .we males especially straight heterosexual are target by other genders as maniacs, perverts and worse not trustable which i always find very offensive even if there are many idiots doesn't mean we all the same but further more is the attitude of others gender want hunting down straight heterosexual males;in my life i never done anything not consensual . It's like everyone is following a predetermined set of rules towards males just to get credentials and reputations , which doesn't leave a lot of room for creativity or spontaneity. Another thing that turns me off is the extreme nature of want to show their supremacy (when, how and with who) . Overall, I think it's important for everyone to figure out what they like and what they don't like in their BDSM experiences. Furthermore, I think that the stigma around male sexuality and the perception of men as potential perpetrators of sexual violence is untrue as not everybody are! As a straight heterosexual male, I feel that I am often unfairly targeted as a potential maniac or pervert, which I find offensive. The idea that there is a generation of women who want to hunt down straight heterosexual males is deeply offended me, especially as I have never engaged in any non-consensual behaviour in my life.

MY "ACTIVELY SEEKING" SECTION SHOULD ALSO INCLUDE: SEEKING CROSSDRESSERS

"First Encounter" Inner thoughts of this dom. HIM:  "Today I'm about to meet this incredibly sexy submissive ive been coveting for a while. She a cute little thing that would be perfect to join my family. I wonder how quick she will succumb to my will? What and how far will she go to be allowed to orgasm?" These as many other stray and random thought rattled their way around my mind. The excitement mounting as we were about to meet real time after a very long period of online and phone chats as we each revealed ourselves to each other. Developing what we hoped would be a meet that would cause sparks to fly within us as the anticipation had grown that seductive. I meet you at a quiet little bar. There we introduce ourselves for the first time in real life. I feel like I know so much about you after the many weeks we have spent chatting online. You are even more beautiful in person. As I hug you tightly to my body the faint whiff of your perfume entices me. I slowly slide my hands down your back as out tongues dance in our joined mouths. Working down your firm ass I can't help but squeeze your cheeks. I slight moan escapes your lips into my mouth. I disengage our lips and bring my face against your neck. Once again inhaling your perfume and freshly washed hair. As I bring one hand up to your head to hold it in place as I nuzzle your neck my other hand slides up your short dress to make sure you followed my instructions and didn't wear underwear.  I pull your head to the side by your hair exposing your neck. Like Dracula I attack your neck. Nibbling and licking it as I work my way to your naked shoulder. My other hand openly caressing your naked ass for all to see. I am so proud of her. She passingly mentioned to me that she was never into PDA nor was she much for kissing. Yet here we stood locked together mouth to mouth for all the world to see. "If only she had gotten thus kind of affection more often. Would she feel differently?" I think to myself.  She feels the cool breeze against her naked ass as I intentionally expose it. I want to see her reaction to my actions. Will she deny my? If I am to be her sir surely she will comply. She knows if she passes the tasks I will bestow upon her over the next week that she will find shelter within my arms. Secure in the fact that I will help her grow and be there to catch her when she falls. For this she will give me her mind, heart and body but eventually I want to own her soul. The pilgrimage of that honor is my quest.   HER: Feeling you lift my incredibly already short skirt and the breeze on my ass, you feel my whole body grow warm, and see the bright red spreading across my skin, as i move my hand to cover my poor ass and gs every so quietly, in your grip i do my best to turn away from the other people near by knowing i wont get far i still wiggle and whisper a quiet "Sir, theres people looking" all the whole attempting to pull the skirt back down and cover myself.  As she tries to pull back her skirt feeling humiliated and embarrassed I quietly whisper in her ear. It ok baby girl. You are beautiful scars and all. I desire to show you off. Love yourself for me.  You feel my fingers sliding between the cheeks of your ass. Relieved that this action is allowing your skirt to begin covering your nakedness. Suddenly you feel my finger tip dip between your lips that are moist from fear and excitement. The action is quick and efficient. Only lasting a split second yet the feelings it created within you may last much longer. You quickly look around to see if anyone noticed your reaction and what sir is doing to you. There at the bar is a young man. He can't be any older than 22. A grin on his face as he quickly turns away when you look his way as if you wouldn't notice the lust within his eyes. You suddenly feel wanted and desired.  Here your sir wants you and is giving you the attention you've been longing for for so long. And a man who is so young looks at you like a cougar with lust. Willing to pounce on you if he could. All these thoughts are running freely thru your tangled mind. Mixed emotions running ramped like a freed feral cat. Yet your body is betraying you with its actions. You turn suddenly away from me pulling me towards the waiting booth in the darker corner. I see the flushed look in your face. The embarrassment I have caused you. It turns me on making my cock twitch even more. The wetness I felt when dipping my finger in you showed me how your body betrays your mind. Although embarrassed you are turned on. Is it because of my actions or because you were being watched. I glance at the young man who is once again looking. I look him in the eye with alpha male intimidation that has served me well all my life. Something earned taught and released from my primal interior being from the years I spent in special forces while in the military. Something about one who has seen things that show the ugliness of man is like an imprint. Although not visible it is detected in posture. My eyes show a certain sadness but also scream that I am not one to be reckoned with. The young man immediately turns away. He picks up his beer and goes to the other end of the bar. Interpreting the unsaid message given to him by just a glare by a man more than twice his age. That instant momentarily distracts me as I faintly hear something you said but didn't fully acknowledge.  I pull you back to me. Holding you tight against my body once again. I feel your breasts pressed against my chest. Our groins mashed together as if they already know what is to come later. Anxious to get started as my cock strains against the denim of my jeans held prisoner. I whisper once again into your ear. "It's OK baby girl. I want to feel you against me for another moment.  After all these weeks you are now flesh and not just words. I nip your bare shoulder lightly with my teeth.  My tongue then flicks back and forth where my teeth once bit as if to offer a healing moment.  Unneeded tho because of the gentleness of it. Putting the smile on my face that I use for the world, the one that doesn't necessarily reach my eyes but seems to somehow charm everyone that comes in contact with.  Feeling you slide into the booth next to me, I have to concentrate so hard. In a way that I do not tense up, but keep my body relaxed. In the way "he who must not be named" showed me at all times. Afterall, no man wants to cuddle a corpse Katey! Shaking the thought from my head. I relax and let my features fall soft. Warm and welcoming. I risk a glance up from the table where my gaze has previously been focused and catch his eyes. They're peering into mine! Why on earth does it feel like he's looking straight into my soul? No one ever notices this much or pays this much attention. I know I'm cute tonight. Hell, I'm always cute. Enough cleavage showing to capture the attention of everyone in the room that has a penis and even some who don't. Why is he so focused on my eyes?  Shifting nervously but trying so hard to stay relaxed. (No one cuddles a corpse Katey!) I can't help but freeze just a bit as he grabs my hand pulling it to his face. Please don't notice the sweaty palms I chant in my head. He's going to think I'm insane or unable to show love. SHIT! What if he thinks I don't like him?  Pushing the thoughts from my head again drawing my focus back to the moment. I realize he's speaking to me. Not hearing half the words, but his eyes capturing mine again like he seems to have a talent of doing. I see a soft side in there. Someone honestly gentle.  You've seen that before too Katey! Right before the black eye my brat pipes up. Shut up it's different this time try to have faith. I zone back into his words and catch something about being his pet for the night.  About being taught new things. This stirs the curious one, the fun filled one with the will to live inside me. She gets super excited bouncing up and down like a child seeing stars for the first time. Eyes shining bright. She loves to learn new things.  All this flashes across my face before the brat hog ties her and sits her back down in the chair. For once her and I agree. Now is not the time for you to surface we're still treading new waters here. Wondering if he saw the roller coaster of emotions going through my twisted broken mind before my face settles. Back to the factory style smile and shining blue eyes all the men seem to love. I relax into his touch trying to show I'm not a mutant. Afraid I'll come off robotic. The motions coming so natural they seem programmed ( No one cuddles a corpse Katey!)  Hoping this gets past him and smile briefly hearing him say, "Tonight I own you". I reply with a sweet, "Yes Sir! I can't wait." Looking into her eyes as he holds her hand for reassurance he sees inner conflict. A turbulent turmoil of emotions taking flight within. He understands these feelings all too well. Demons that he himself has wrestled with for most of his life. His innocence stripped away from him as a delusional teenager.  His mind flashes back to the day he graduated high school. Signing his life away for the next 4yrs. Gonna be a GI! Government Issued, warrior. Right the wrongs and save the world from evil.  Yeah if only he knew who the enemy really was. How evil is everywhere in so many shapes and forms. A delusioned man child at only 18 who thought he knew it all. Quickly his mind snaps back to her. He lays her hand on his thigh and holds it there. Mere inches from his inflamed cock. Swelling that she has caused. Yes she is cute. Those beautiful braless tits on display. Just as he had instructed her to show off. Her beautiful, wanting to please, features displayed on her face. Her body, in that short dress. This too he had requested. One that could have started wars centuries ago. Her freshly washed hair with a hint of fruity smell.  My God what I want to do to that body! But no not yet! Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. That's not what I am after. I want that inner beauty I know is there hiding in fear in the darkness. Perhaps behind one too many negative experiences.  He looks at her again. Tilts his head to the side and leans in. Plants a soft kiss upon her forehead. "This is to free your mind of evil thoughts.", he tells her. Then leaving her hand on his thigh he takes hold of her head. One hand on either side and draws it to him. He kisses one eye, as her eyes instinctively closed. Perhaps out of fear. Then he kisses the other. "These are to ward off evil visions and nightmares.", he tells her. As he releases her he notices her hand is right where he left it. Is it out of fear he wonders as he glances down. Then he sees her moving her hand. Rubbing his thigh. Almost as if she is giving him a non-verbal thank you. Thanking her lucky stars she's put on her trained face. Her body falling in line with the program. This scene all well to practiced in previous encounters with other men. Her body doesn't trip her up for once. It manages to stay relaxed when he reaches for her hand placing it on his thigh.  He keeps her hand trapped under his a few moments. A feeling she's used to. The pinned down feeling. But this time something is different about it. Maybe it's the soft sweet words coming from a reassuring mouth. Instead of the normal don't move whore she was used to. Maybe its the sweet soft kisses he's laid upon her forehead or eyes. She's never felt something like this in all her years experience with men. She finds it confusing. Yet comforting. Feeling that wonder child inside stir some more before the brat slaps her in the back of the head. This is why you stay locked down. Too eager and not enough caution.  The mix of emotions inside rolling over in her mind cause an automatic reaction. The smile softens on her lips. Eyes closing just a little before she peers up at him through her lashes. His hand has moved but two things occured. One she knows never to move from a spot youve been placed unless you want the belt. Yet, a stranger feeling she's not sure she's felt before. Of not wanting to move hand this time. In fear of feeling to stiff again she lightly brushes her fingertips along his thigh. Not out of habit this time but because maybe part of her actually wanted to.  Squeezing her thighs together she notices how wet she's become. She can't understand it. Pressing them tighter in fear of leaving behind a wet spot. She can't help but think, "Where are the drinks?" His relief at feeling her hand beginning to rub his thigh is a welcome relief. Although part of him wonders. Is this just a programmed response? Is she like the many other women he has spent countless hours with chatting, exchanging photos and erotica only to vanish after the session was over.  Almost as if, they, no different than what would be considered creepy guys. They used him to flirt and arouse until they achieved their level of sexual satisfaction and then disappeared. Leading him on like a cruel joke. No he says. That's why he reminds himself, it's not about the sex.  If not to toy with him then what would a beautiful young woman see in an older man like himself. The look in her eyes as she looks at him gives him strength. He sees so much of himself in her. Scars of hurt, rejection, pain and broken promises of lost love.  Yet here I am today he says almost out loud. Daring to take each step to move forward proud and strong. To never give up and to fight whatever battle comes my way. In whatever shape or form it manifests itself. His strength comes from his confidence. A weaker man would be shy and afraid to take a chance again for fear of once again being used and rejected. Tossed aside like left over scraps. But no not me. I am a WARRIOR! I want to believe that there are still people who can love out there the way I do. It keeps my faith in humanity from being irradicated. All this swims through him as his mind processes it all with the lightning speed of a super computer. Just like his training. Compartmentalize evaluate the situation and act. It has worked for him all his life. The long pause between them like a moment of silence causes some awkwardness between them. Then he feels her rubbing his thigh harder. More confidently as if by her own attrition and not a programmed response or expectational desire. It's as if she can see him go far away and is saying, "I'm here. I want to be here and you're ok". Once again he looks into her eyes and sees something that wasn't there before. A softness. A real glitter almost as if they were smiling at him. Wanting and desiring him. His already hard cock twitches. He feels it touch against her hand from the unexpected reaction she's caused. He feels a wetness against his bare thigh as he realizes he's leaking because of her! Thoughts are interrupted as the waitress finally arrives. He orders a Sprite for himself and looks at her and asks. "What would you like beautiful?" A gentle nibble and a kiss! Her coy way of showing affection is illuminating. Her cute sense of witty humor threw him off guard but breaks a grin on his face. She has the humor in her like I do he thinks.  He turns to her and sees her sitting there hands clasped together on her lap. Legs firmly held tight as if to ward off foreign invaders and protect her real-estate.  He slowly eyes her up and down. Her breasts he notices pushed out as if she is attempting to seduce him with them. Her heavy breathing pushing them in and out each time she takes a breath.  He notices how the dress accents her features and brings out the woman in her. Good choice he thinks to himself glad that he purchased it for her and had it shipped to her. Along with the garters that hold up those incredible stockings he liked so much. As he continues down he sees the cowgirl boots as well. He noticed how well the whole outfit fit her earlier but was too enthralled with other things to notice all the details till now. Even tho they are imprinted in his mind to remember forever. Their first meet and date which if leads to what he hopes and knows she desires may be a long term relationship. He brings his eyes up and looks deep into her eyes now. He made it quite obvious that he was checking her out. He looks at her hoping that checking her out and admiring her has pleased her. Perhaps even aroused her. He leans in and plants a soft and gentle kiss on her neck again. He loves necks and shoulders. Moving to her ear as the waitress returns with their drinks He whispers. "You are sexy as fuck. Even more beautiful in person than all the pictures and videos you sent me can capture. If only you knew how much I desire you right now." The waitress places the drinks in front of them smiling as she overheard his comment. She even noticed his tongue flicker across her ear. "Would you two like anything to eat tonight?" She asks. He looks at her and grins. "On our menu" she chuckles knowing what that grin insinuated. His Katey too giggled at that. Feeling more confident in herself knowing his desire was genuine.  He laughing says. Yes please can you bring us some menus.  You obviously know what I would like as my appetizer and dessert He says to the waitress knowing she has a good sense of humor. The waitress laughs with him. I don't blame you she says. I would probably skip all of that and just have her as the main course myself..... A chuckle from in his heart surfaces itself. It's audible sound to those within earshot turn to look it is that infectious and genuine. He wraps his arm around her neck as she cuddles into him for the first time. Feeling her warmth against him he wraps his arm around her neck holding her closer to him. Enjoying how she feels. He notices and feels her hand upon his thigh. This time voluntarily and with movement of its own.  "She's a firecracker isn't she" he half asks half states to the waitress. The waitress can't help but notice in the position she is in now with her head tucked into him, his arm around her neck asnif claiming ownership that she can see right down her dress. Her beautiful breast in plain sight and her nipples hard from arousal. She sees the woman's hand move to his thigh. The action of her rubbing draws her attention to it. She notices how hard he is and how his cock is running down the inside of his thigh mere millimeters from her hand. She notices what looks to be a damp spit on his jeans. She's is mesmerized by these two as she is hypnotized by their hidden affection and the energy radiating from them. She sees her run her finger along the length of his rigid cock. Slowly methodically with purpose. This little vixen knows exactly what she is doing as she looks up at her, stares into her eyes and grins. His cock continually twitching and pulsing from her actions. His voice draws her back to reality. "Whatever she wants tonight. We are celebrating our union" he says. Then he looks down at her as she lifts her eyes to meet his. A glimmer that sparkles thru his piercing blue eyes looking deep into hers. "What would my darling pet like to eat" he softly asks her. As he waits for her reply he can't help but feel a rush running thru his body. The way she's teasing his cock on her own. She may think that he didn't notice the pixy like smile she gave the waitress who saw her doing it. As he looks down into her eyes to ask her what she would like he too notices the plunging neckline of her dress is allowing anyone above her to see her tits. He sees her nipples standing out exceptionally far and hard from the soft roundness of her breast.  It excites him making him leak once again. He can feel the wet warmth released from the eye of his cock. After asking her what she would like he gently blows down the front of her dress. His breath running down her neck across her brwasr and to her nipples. He swears it looks like they just got bigger from that. He turns to the waitress noticing she saw this too. Her reaction is priceless. Her almost hypnotic state excites him. She TOO wants and desires his little pet nestled softly and safely against him as his strong arm holds her tight. He blinks his eyes several times. The light starting to creep its way into the room is almost blinding. He rubs them trying to get the sleep out of them as he looks around and then checks out the clock. Looking down at his crotch he realizes his cock is still hard. There's even a couple wet spots on his underwear. Clearing his head he slowly gets up to go make coffee. Wow that was one hell of a dream he smiles to himself remembering it.  

So journals are back! Giggity! I remain frustrated in seeking out anyone who can discipline me, use me in whatever way they wish and break down my barriers by simply forcing me to confront them. Where would I like to be tonight? I would love to be between the legs of a dominant, serving them...servicing them, swallowing what they want me to swallow, sucking what they would have me suck, licking what they tell me to lick. All night... And when they were sated, satisfied and had used me in exactly the way they wanted, they could reward me...or they could choose not to. They could give me release...or they could refuse. They could drive me right to the edge, or they could put me away with nothing until they were ready to have me again. They would be completely in control. Their satisfaction would be my goal and my reward their choice. It could be a woman...it could be a man (a man would be a new experience and another barrier broken down. I do not care...it's not mine to care, only to lick, suck, swallow and bend over.

Looking for a companion/assistant/domestic slave:   * My family is my priority. You need to be fine with this and, I am definitely selfish and egoistic. I know it sounds unfair, but I want someone to devote his or her life to me. My partner is fully aware of my search and my kinks and he agrees. I am not willing to hide myself or help you to cheat on your partner. That is why I am looking for a single, widow, or divorced. * I like younger people between 27 to 40 years old. I say 27 years old because I had several messages of "boys" looking for a mum and I am not into that. * If you are men, height is important (I like tall men). You are minimum 1.80m and with very nice genitals (no, do not send me a pic, that is not very elegant). I like assertive, tall and strong men, someone that will ONLY submit to me, I do not want someone that is everybody's doormat, I am the only one that can step on you! If you are a lady, your height is not important. * I do not want someone with beard and mustache, and this is something not negotiable. They are hard limits, I am into waxed/shaved men. Face hair is more than just a turn off to me, I do not want to explain myself about it here. * Yes, I want to have a handsome or cute sub/slave. I want someone that I find attractive. This is quite subjective, I am the one that will decide that. Beauty is something that involves not only looks. Smart with good manners. A gentleman, a nice lady, that is quite important. * I am into giving pain, and humilliation, are you in? * NO smokers, not into drugs or alcohol, this is another hard limit. Plus I cannot be around that, really, not interested, not negotiable. Hygiene is very important! You know the meaning of showering, parfum and the use of toothbrush (Believe me, I say this for a reason). * Not into online games or just wasting time, I do not have that luxury! * You live not far from Tienen, Aarschot, Leuven (Belgium) or you travel a lot to Belgium. I already had slaves that went wherever I lived due business trips and I liked it. But I am not going to ask you to relocate, I am not looking at the moment for a 24/7. * You speak English, my Dutch and French are not good enough to establish a relationship. If this sound interesting, send me a nice and respectful message and I will be nice and respectful!

What I truly seek....I seek 24/7 submission on a psychological level and physical submission at my Mistresses whim.  I do understand that is something that is built gradually over time in a relationship, once trust has been established. I’m drawn primarily to a loving and nurturing style of Domination. I enjoy pleasing and making my partners life easier.   I am not a masochist… I don’t seek pain for the sake of pain alone, but I do understand its value toward discipline and training. Otherwise I will trust that my well being will always be a priority.   I am very sensual and enjoy many kinds of play. I also understand that play is NOT the foundation of a strong D/s relationship. That comes through the strength of the power exchange that both people desire.  I admit I tend to be very private. I do not engage in groups or public play, and I prefer a completely vanilla exterior. I’m not into being cucked or treated like a slave. Nor do I seek to be a part of a stable of subs. My submission, attentions and adoration should be considered of value to the one I serve. I am after all, a man who is truly a pleaser.... someone who derives much of his own fulfillment from pleasing his Domme, and from giving over control to her. I am not interested in being some kind of mindless slave kept in a cage… but rather someone who is a person in his own right. I do have a quick mind and a sense of humor, and I don’t want to be afraid to use them at the appropriate times. I am looking for someone who will help me flourish under Her guidance and help me become the best version of me.   I would hope to become a best friend, a lover, a houseboy, Her personal servant, Her sensual slave and more.   Ideally, I would like to be with someone who is nearer to my age, intelligent, independent and knows what she wants from a D/s relationship. I am not looking for casual interactions, or for mere play sessions, but rather for my lifemate, with whom I hope to explore the ins and outs of Ds as well as the vanilla world for the rest of our lives... If most of this resonates then by all means reach out to me and let’s have a dialogue.   

Why I don't want to have a sexual relationship with a domme... I've been here since it was called CollarMe, not Collarspace.  A long, long time.    I'm not a shlub.  I'm in reasonably good shape, take care of myself, can articulate my thoughts and treat everyone with respect.  So it's been relatively easy for me to meet dominants and I've met several over the years.  Unless it was a one-time meeting for specific scene play, every relationship I've had that started here ended up being entirely sexual in a "might as well be vanilla" fashion with no or next to no domination.   Once I sleep with you, you won't dominate me in any serious way if you ever intended to in the first place.  Or if you do, it will be "30 shades of yawn".  I have that situation going on right now with a domme I met on Fetlife.  Oh, the sex is amazing, but if I just wanted sex, I would join a dating app and I could have it every night of the week with a much wider selection of partners.   I want to be throroughly humiliated, subjugated and degraded in (as I say in my profile) some very specific ways. That's not something you're going to be able to do to me if we're having an intimate relationship.  Trust me.  Once those actions and the associated feelings are involved, you won't be capable of treating me the way I want to be treated.  I need someone who can see me for what I want to be, which is a means to an end for them.  I need someone who understands the concept of "mutually beneficial relationship" but can separate that from a sexual relationship.  What happens if your vehicle has a problem?  You take it to a mechanic.  You don't need to have a loving relationship with the mechanic to get the vehicle repaired.  You bring in the vehicle, he repairs it, you take care of him and go on with the rest of your day.  That's the extent of the relationship and it's fine.  Everyone gets what they want.  I think a lot of dominants on this site who genuinely have some hardcore dominant tendencies that delve into the sadistic side are trying to find everything in one person, and that's a shame, because it's a two way street.  Certainly not all kinks are acceptable to all people so not all dommes are compatible with all subs (and even if they were, we all have our aesthetic preferences) but for those who really want to put someone in their place, that will be better and far more thoroughly accomplished if that place isn't also in bed.  

Master's WritingsSadomasochistic Play and the Importance of ConnectionIt is too easy when participating in Sadomasochistic play of any kind, be it impact, pain play or any other of the associated fetishes, for the experience to become emotionally and even physically disconnected between partners - the Sadist becoming consumed by their connection to their tool (whip, cane, etc), the precision of their strikes, the technique used, and the masochist becoming lost in the enormity of the sensation, the loss of physical control as the pain increases and the anticipation of the next strike. As both become lost in their own world within the scene, it is easy to experience a loss of connection between them as the scene progresses.I find that maintaining or even working to build greater connection during such play is one of the most important things I can do as a Sadist and a Dominant. For me as a Sadist, who is also a Dominant and a Daddy, I find that there exists a uniquely rich opportunity to be a caring and connected Sadist, through physical contact, the use of voice and deliberate and careful observation that goes beyond the safety aspaspaspects during a scene are very important in changing a sadomasochistic scene from something done to the masochist to a shared experience that binds rather than separates.In all my play, regardless of the fetish, I seek to create experiences that enrich, nourish and build relationship. While not every scene or situation can accomplish these every time, they remain a goal I strive for whenever possible.

UPDATE ON MOBILITY ISSUES 2/16/2025.  The mobility issues I have will probably not improve.  The back can only be changed with surgeries that require breaking the spinal column and placing metal supports around it.  It is an extremely lengthy process with an even longer recovery time and there are absolutely no guarantees of success.  That diagnosis was bleak but the knee and hip surgeon will not do any work until I can stand upright.  That is not an option given the path to get there.  My physical therapist says I can only work on keeping the process from getting worse, not making it better. So here we are. UPDATE ON SITUATION AND LIFE ISSUES:  You may or may not know but updating a profile requires weeks of waiting and inability to receive any correspondence during that waiting time.  I think that is why so many profiles are outdated, especially on the age of the profile owner.  I am one of the ones who have not done an update so here are the new things one should know: I will be 78 in October I have a collared slave I found at the very end of 2015 and I offered him his collar in April of 2021. I am looking for another to join us in our family but that person will need to be very unique.  Notice I said our family meaning both of us need to approve the person.  That part is very difficult to accomplish with long distances from each other.  My current slave committed to a 30 day trial and chose not to leave at the end of it.  He went back to the place where he lived, packed up his belongings and brought them to his new home within a few days. This is not the end of my story and hopefully my writings will reflect more.

As for about me and who I am. Well most of it is in the profile.   But I am a skilled maker with slightly above skills in welding, metal working, woodworking, plastics, molding, 3d printing, cnc laser cutting, chainmail weaving, scene prop special effects, and a few other random skills.   I also have a high level of skill in photography, video production (both shooting and editing), audio production, photo retouching and manipulation as well as graphic design and media production. (BS in media production) I also dabble in fashion design with a strong interest in fetish ware. Currently teaching myself leather garment sewing, as well as latex/rubber creation. Been playing with bootware and am designing custom heels for high heel boots.   I'm looking for that one female artist who can transform me into a woman. As in post op grs, breast implants, plastic surgery, FFS etc.   In return, my skills and talents would be at her service,  including making a full dungeon with all the toys one could dream of. As I look more fem I would have no problem being a cam girl for her and after I am fully transitioned I would gladly be a beta dom, under her.

Adieu Yes, maybe it is true.Yes, maybe it is true that maybe i am blue.maybe i am blue, and maybe it is because of you.You were on the venue.i took the cue, and gave what was due,but you didn't follow through.i was at your pew, face to your shoe,You left me like a whoop-de-doo;You didn't renew,You didn't rescue,my confidence in you has flew, askew.There will be no break-through,no rendezvous,no well-to-do point of view.This is World War Two, thank you,and i wont argue how bitter i stew,or how i feel a devalue inyour discontinued virtue.Because now,i see you now at face value.And now i cling to my own Bellevue -my own worldview -And i shall paint her deep blue,because yes, maybe it is true,maybe it is true that maybe i am blue,and maybe it is because of you, mind you -my dear Safeword, Adieu.~ dirtydarling

Waiting is a bondage all of it's own We understandably often focus on the flashier, more explosive, more dramatic, expressions of power exchange and bdsm. I would imagine many people when they were exposed to an alternate concept explored online. Obviously porn and much of what you'll find is going to showcase the most visually appealing elements, the most outrageous. We might get this idea in our head of something we desire and then we might spend years trying to find someone who matches us to even start to engage in it. We get impatient, we want to get to the "good stuff". Slow everything down. Power, control, dominance, submission, these things are a mental/emotional experience, an alternate reality. The physical is simply how we express, create, maintain, and enjoy something that exists in our minds. My power over a woman is entirely based around her perception and belief that I have power over her. There is a kind of serene intensity to the most simple but pure expressions of power between us. I thrive and love when I am in complete control of the pace of the experience. I want to be slow and deliberate. I like to take time to let things stew, to examine, to explore, to analyze. Punctuating that with moments of faster pace intensity creates a stark contrast and a rollercoaster that tears down her walls. Don't underestimate the power of and presence that mental bondage and time can have. Having to take a position and just hold it. You can't pretend you are doing anything other than completely surrendering to me. Waiting is like water slowly eroding the cliff, eventually the water always wins.

 ceesub