After discussing my challenges with dating or even befriending certain types of people, my friend wants to come up a snappy phrase for me to use that translates into, "Yes, but your complete list of Issues Has to Fit in Large Print on an Index Card or It’s Too Much for Me.” That's much pithier than what I originally said, so ... progress!

It must be said as it is, not all str8 males that submit wish or desire the full and total dominance by their Master. Most str8 males feel the abyss that open between them and their percieved sexuality and that casm devours all their idea of their str8 nature as they conceived it. They know they've found their man, a better man, one that surpasses their own masculinity and the want to serve, comply, and surrender all their being. But, do they? It is very hard for a str8 male to get used to being looked at sexually by another male, especially if that male is stripping their identity piece by piece. Not easy to accept but like a moth to a flame, impossible to ignore. However, curiosity can be damming and once all social structures are removed they are alone with  the man they fear and are attracted to. This process is what I call taming. Like a fine horse you must earn the trust and eventually they will on their own volition allow and almost beg to be mounted. Yet, their idea of themselves is from now on in crisis mode; outside assertive and powerful but deep inside they know better and that conflict can any be resolved in the bedroo. In cuckold scenes he is forced" by the female and he submits to what he always wanted but feared to accept. Not that they are pleasing their woman, that is only the official version; but inside, deep they knew it will end that way and it is fine. For a line str8 male, one that chooses the bull that starstrucke them on their own is different; they are lat a loss. How can they feel that lust and attraction is they are Str8, they are not into guys but "this man is different." This man deserves all they can offer and it is an impossible feeling, who to blame, where to hide? That's were I come in, guiding, shaping, and reforming. However, as I push the boundaries that sometimes there is a hard line in the sand and that line, for now is a limit the str8 male is not willing to cross. For example, sending or taking them to a barh house or telling them to perform in person the things they've been taking pictures and sending. Once you get to that like if the bull relents his authority is shattered  In that case one must let go and release that sub. The will come back and beg to be taken back with conditions, don't. It must always be my way and my pleasure, that simple. If they cross that line you have tamed a fine specimen, one that will serve you and thank you for it.  Str8 males are not sissies that is another reality, one that I will address in time. 

Thought for today.... A mediocre Dominant tells,  a good Dominant teaches,  a excellent Dominant explains ...  but a true Dominant Inspires.

Mr.McB writing from nyc   I am here seeking a very submissive housegirl a domestic slave a service minded girl a fully Owned property to be trained educated instructed for a longterm position in my life and in my home   I am retired  healthy  experienced  in Owning and training a girl  both or which  I have done  very successfully   I have a home here in nyc and can provide a strict safe place for a girl to learn how best to live  her life  in strict slavery the kind of life for which she was born   some sexual service is required  oral anal and body worship   but the girls behavior is whats most important to me my preference is for a slave to be kept in a state of  orgasm restriction for  extended periods of time   at the same time her most Respectful Obedience  will be worked on   a girls Obedience  is a special interest of mine as I am a Disciplinarian  so I am always looking  for a reason  to use the paddle   I will not hesitate to correct whenever she does not live up to the standards expected of her   I am also an everyday spanker something she will get simply  because a spanking  is always needed   and there will be oversight of her activities meaning all of them   if this strikes any interest? please say hello thank you for reading MstrB

My parents have accidentally almost killed my dog. Twice.  I had a small surgery yesterday and they are here to "help." Twice now they have put their stash of daily old people pills in places easily accessible to the puppy and the bags ended up in her mouth. Last night she chewed a hole in the bag and for sure ate a fish oil pill. It's questionable as to if she ate a piece of a beta blocker. Luckily I caught her before she could gobble up any others, and she seems to be alright. Holy shit though, that was close. The closing conversation went something like this: Me: Can you keep the bags on the counter where she can't reach them? Parent: I'll keep them in my pocket. Me: Can you keep them on the counter since we know she can't reach them? Parent: I'll keep them in my pocket. Me: Can you keep them on the counter?  Parent: Yes.  Me: *trying to keep my cool, not kick my parents out of my house early, monitoring my dog for signs of beta blocker consumption, oh, and fucking staying awake since I just took pain medicine* Some of us are not going to make it through the week if I don't stay hyper fucking vigilant. At this point in my life I'm okay with becoming an orphan if necessary.

I've had the song Imagine in My head for the past several days.  I was going to try and come up with a little diddy to incorporate My thoughts to the melody - it didn't work.  So instead I will just spell it out. Imagine.... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files and was the leader of the free world... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files and was the leader of the free world and I was in the Epstein files... Imagine if I had the Epstein Files and was the leader of the free world and I was in the Epstein files and I had rubbed elbows with My neighbor and with leaders the world over, along their children, relatives, associates, movie stars, heads of corporations.... Now imagine how to go about resloving conflicts globally... Did you say BLACKMAIL?  How i n t e r e s t i n g.   How does a shyster resolve conflicts?  Your guess is as good as Mine, but I can tell you, as a non shyster I use whatever is at My disposal when trying to resolve issues.  So it would make sense that as the President, I would use much within My power to FIX PROBLEMS.  Also, if I were to ALREADY HAVE COMMITED unethical, immoral, illegal acts, and was facing exposure, you can bet your bippy that I am going to LET EVERYONE KNOW THEY ARE COMING DOWN WITH THIS SHIP IF I GO DOWN. So here it is folks, the difference between US AND THEM lay within MORALS, ETHICS AND LEGALITIES. Even if the leader of the free world were working the system to effect positive changes, is BLACKMAIL how you want these things to occur?  Is that okay with YOU?  If you say yes, you are the problem in My book.  If you said no, then VOTE damnit.  Vote for integrity.  Vote for justice.  Vote for morals.  Vote for ethics.  Vote for an example to your children and grandchildren.  Stop idolizing $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Do you have morals and ethics, emotional intelligence?  Does the present leader of the free world represent the morals, ethics and emotional intelligence of you or how you wish your child was, your neighbor, your politician? While on the subject of MORALS/ETHICS/LEGALITITES - lets no forget the subject of ABORTION.   ABORTION IS NOT THE SUBJECT. WOMENS RIGHTS ARE THE SUBJECT. GOD GAVE WOMEN THE HOME AND THE BIOLOGICAL INSTINCT TO NURTURE OURSELVES AND OUR BODIES. THE RIGHT OF ANOTHER LIFE TO GROW WITHIN ME IS NO ONES RIGHT OTHER THAN MINE! NO ONE ELSE GETS TO CHOOSE WHAT HAPPENS INSIDE MY BODY. NO ONE ELSE GETS TO CHOOSE WHAT HAPPENS TO THINGS GROWING INSIDE MY BODY. If a man walks into My house and leaves his luggage.  Possession is 9/10's of the law - I OWN IT! No one gets to DEPOSIT in My home and claim some kind of ownership!!!!  That is f*cking cray cray talking now!  Ya'll must be entirely off your rocker! You come into My body and leave something there, when you go, what remains is MINE.  If you have a problem with that, get in line to talk to GOD about all your issues.  What you cannot do is try and change the laws governing My HUMAN RIGHTS - SOVEREIGNTY OVER MY BODY.  Medicine is coming along way and there are ways for you to reproduce your seed without declaring eminant domain over one of your multiple ejaculations. This subject is such a no brainer. If you have rights over your body shit, then when you give Me herpes, chicken pox, or a cold, I ought to be able to collect on My pain and suffering, time lost from work, etc. This is an easy fix - PRESEX NUPTIALS.  Of course, most men cannot control their selves long enough to engage in rational thought before ejaculation, but... NOT MY PROBLEM. NOT A WOMANS PROBLEM. Just like My emotional roller coaster (monthly) is not your problem, just like My bleeding is not your problem, just like My tampons and sanitary napkins, My motrin, My fibroid tumors, My breast cancer or anything else is NOT YOUR PROBLEM...EITHER IS MY PREGNANCY. Get the fuck over yourself, get your own damn life and get the fuck out of MY BODY.  Yall are control freaks and you will meet your match with women today.  Keep it up.  Keep thinking you have the upper hand.    The only thing you are is a VIOLATOR if you believe you have any place inside MY CUNT.   

When covid came about, i/we did everything we could to protect ourselves.   To this day we continue to do everything we can to protect ourselves.   My 1st bout with covid was due to my boss not having any sense   Running a fever stay away from people, he came to my desk.   I have had both vaccines and the booster.   Had i not taken another covid test would not have known i was positive.   Moral of the story:   Just because you are vaccinated you can still catch. I did not have any symptoms yet i was positive and could pass the virus to someone else.   Stay safe / stay healthy   i don't know about you; however, i am over it.

no one tells you how hard its going to be when you loose your soul mate no one tells you the sleepless nights get harder, That the pain in your heart intensifies or that you would do anything to make the pain go away  I dont wish this type of pain on anyone not even my enemies   It's only been a week since my beloved Master left this world but its a hard week

Sometimes physical things are not the heaviest things to remove.  Told that just now to a friend who recently lost their mother, and was tasked with cleaning out the house.  Sometimes i say things so deep, that i make myself pause and think. Last night, i was venting to one of the people in my RPG guild in ESO.  He was saying how he just needed reminders about posting stuff on the site and whatnot.  i told him i was done giving him reminders, and he asked why.  That was when a dam i hadn't known was ready to break, burst.  i told him, that if someone really wants to do something, they will do it.  They will do whatever they must, to ensure it happens. i reminded him that he has a wife, and a professional life, and he must be doing well enough to govern himself.  i asked him, who looks after me, who gives me reminders to do things? i reminded him, how i have -no one-.  i have sticky notes all over the place, a phone full of alarms and reminders, because my memory is crap... How is it fair, that i should have to hand-hold grown adults in the guild, to remind them and chase after them to look after their own characters.  Told him i was done, time people sink or swim. Of course, all that has ~nothing~ do to with the Lifestyle or genre on this site... Just another peek though, into my mundane life.    

When my ex and I were exploring BDSM and doing research, I was more attracted to the submissive role for myself. I encouraged her toward taking the Domme role, and I would be her submissive, but she wasn’t interested. I even created a website dedicated to FLR, but she wanted me to be her Dom. But, my core was really very submissive to women. Now that I am single, I am very interested in exploring my submissive side with an amazing Domme. If you would like to see the FLR website I created, it’s    http://amazingflr.byethost8.com

Your Kink Personality Type isBDSM CONNOISSEUR As a BDSM CONNOISSEUR, you're in the perfect position to start exploring BDSM more fully.  You may be working hard on avoiding the vanilla rut right now, but with a little more confidence and support you can quickly take things to the next level. You're strengths at a glance:SENSUAL ~ SMART ~ ATTENTIVE

Returning to the simple life with my 2nd In recent days I've let myself dream and imagine. Something I dared not do in the past. What wonderful experiences would be paved with carefully laid out bricks to form the perfect path? Each brick a representation of heart felt and true emotional moments of connection and understanding. Each brick carefully examined under my experienced eye as I lovingly place them. Making sure they sit solidly in place to never shift, crack or break under the weight of life's weight. Each meaningful exchange of explorations and discoveries of what I seek found inside the one. Another brick is formed then carefully set in place. The paved path quickly, maybe even too quickly causing one to question its authenticity, leading to my kingdom. My kingdom is where I rule as king and is my domain. It radiates with love, affection and admiration. Its walls are thick and built to protect my residents from any harm or threat an invader my try to assault with. The sun shine thru illuminating life and bringing warmth and comfort to those inside. It's very depths are filled with positive energy for all to absorb. Yet deep within this kingdom also resides a dungeon. It is well equipped with all one would need to break the spirit of another. A place where pain can be pleasure but pleasure also painful. The master of this dungeon is experienced in all forms of infliction. He yields the arsenal of his trade with efficient and deliberate blows. Yet the physical s at his disposal are only superceded by his knowledge of the human psychy. He is like an artist manipulating the canvas before him. Turning it from either a blank or unattractive painting to one that when looked upon will make even the hardest hearted individuals melt and smile at its beauty. Yes the road to this kingdom a complicated one but for the one who seeks eternal belonging it is Eden. If only his dreams of the completed path were true. He looks up to the heavens and is heard to say, "Is this the ONE you have sent to me? Have you taken my rib to form my Eve. If she is, please, let her be all I seek." He returns his gaze and his full attention back to his task at hand filled with hope. Alas, the God's have mocked ones again. His emotions played with like the wireless puppets we are. His eyes distracted on one as the so wittingly sneak the other in behind his back. The unexpected tale of the story taking on a life of its own diverting him from her to another. One who mysteriously was guided to that fateful meet. A message titled, "Ummm....wrong button", mysteriously appearing in his mail. The ball was set in motion like a snowball traveling down a large snow covered embankment, its momentum grew, picking up more snow that clung to it enlarging it! It's mass quickly devouring all in its path as it consumed and grew. Soon too powerful to stop it enveloped all in its surroundings claiming them as its own. As such that mistakenly sent message grew wings and soared. One message led to many which led to hundreds more. Messages soon evolving to phone calls that soon dominated their lives and became the focus of their day. She quizingly and scrutinly joins in with guarded fear of rejection and hurt. For she is not a stranger to the cause but only retreated to protect her heart from more.

So, many years ago I met someone on here, who absolutely blew my mind.  I'd never experienced control before and it was an amazing journey. From the very beginning, the controlling of my time, as in what I did with my free time, updates of where I would be at certain times in the day so they always knew where I was. Having to be available at specific times. Not a minute before or a minute after. Controlling how and when I touched myself if I could have an orgasm. Even my clothing having to replace my underwear with women's underwear. Sitting to go to the toilet. All these things which I was told was leading up to a very hard limit of feminizing. Which was a total mind fuck. Because with each step that I was pushed and you eventually that that limit would be pushed as well and if both scared and excited me at the same time.  Now I never knew as we never got to it if that would have happened, whether I would have been feminized or whether because it was a very hard limit of mine, it was simply used as a mind fuck. Either way it's certainly did the trick. The less freedom I had and the more control she took made me feel so submissive and so desperate to continue to please.

You are too uptight and Never said you had to have multiple partners but you are way to dominant. You can deny this all you want but it is very clear and apparent. You might think you can submit in a committed relationship but you can’t. You won’t. It’s him conceding to your will and happiness. And that’s not submission. Its role play. And your excuses and justifications do not make this any less true. I’m sorry you don’t want to hear this and ignore its validity but it is true. You simply don’t care and then wonder why it’s so hard for you to find someone. Someone wrote this to me, all because in response to a statement he wrote, I responded I dont just play with anyone, I am not a slut.

Sexy contract drafted together with AI :) ---------------------------------------------------- Slave Contract This contract is entered into on [date], by and between [Dominant’s Name] (hereinafter referred to as "the Dominant") and [Submissive’s Name] (hereinafter referred to as "the Submissive"). Purpose: The purpose of this contract is to formalize the absolute power exchange relationship between the Dominant and the Submissive, where the Submissive completely surrenders all personal rights and autonomy to the Dominant. Terms and Conditions: Absolute Relinquishment of Rights: The Submissive irrevocably relinquishes all personal rights and autonomy to the Dominant, granting the Dominant absolute control over every aspect of the Submissive's life, including but not limited to physical, emotional, psychological, financial, and social domains. This includes the Submissive relinquishing all property to the Dominant. The Submissive chooses not to have any safeword, fully embracing the Dominant's control without any limits. Total Control and Obedience: The Dominant exercises absolute authority to dictate the Submissive's behavior, appearance, and actions. The Submissive must wear a collar at all times as a symbol of their complete submission and ownership by the Dominant. The Submissive must adhere to a strict dress code and behavioral rules as determined by the Dominant. Punishments and Physical Conditioning: The Dominant has the right to administer any form of punishment deemed necessary to enforce obedience, including physical punishment, marking, starvation, and any other methods to achieve the desired body size and features. The Submissive accepts that punishment is a crucial aspect of their training and will endure any form of discipline without protest. Body and Mind Modification: The Dominant has the unrestricted right to mold, modify, or alter the Submissive's body and mind in any manner deemed necessary, including but not limited to body size, shape, features, permanent marks, and psychological conditioning. The Submissive consents to undergo any procedures, treatments, modifications, or psychological conditioning as directed by the Dominant to fulfill the Dominant’s vision. Sexual Submission: The Submissive is always available to fulfill the Dominant's sexual desires, including the use of the Dominant’s cock, toys, or other means. The Submissive agrees to receive and endure public humiliation and to engage in sexual activities as directed by the Dominant. Surveillance, Chastity, and Recording: The Submissive consents to constant surveillance to ensure compliance with all rules and expectations. The Submissive will wear chastity devices or any other restraints as mandated by the Dominant to enforce control. The Submissive is required to perform on an OnlyFans account or similar platform, which will be owned and controlled by the Dominant. All content produced, including videos, and all money earned through this account are the property of the Dominant. The Dominant retains full ownership and rights to any films or videos recorded during the period of this contract. The Submissive acknowledges that these recordings may be used or distributed at the Dominant’s discretion without any compensation or objection from the Submissive. Irrevocable Commitment and Termination: The duration of this contract is to be set and agreed upon by both the Dominant and the Submissive before signing. This contract cannot be terminated by the Submissive during the agreed-upon duration. Any attempt to escape or disobey will result in severe punishment at the discretion of the Dominant. The Dominant retains the right to extend, amend, or terminate the contract at will. Transfer and Use by Others: The Dominant has the unilateral right to lend, rent out, or sell the Submissive to others, maintaining absolute control over the Submissive’s fate. The Submissive will comply with the commands of anyone designated by the Dominant without question. Clarification and Interpretation: Any uncertainties or ambiguities in this contract will be clarified and interpreted solely by the Dominant, whose decision is final. Verbal commands and clarifications by the Dominant are considered binding and enforceable as part of this contract. Total Submission: The Submissive enters this contract of their own free will, fully understanding the extent of the Dominant’s control and the harshness of the terms. The Submissive accepts that their purpose is to serve, obey, and please the Dominant in all aspects. The Dominant will not be responsible for any damages, physical or psychological, that the Submissive may incur as a result of this contract.   Signatures: [Dominant’s Name]   [Submissive’s Name]   [Witness or Notary, if required]    

Thinking about the next few months... After September, I may have the opportunity to "go into hiding" so to speak. In other words, as long as I have internet access to do my remote work, I should be able to travel and stay pretty much anyplace for 1 to 2 weeks without interruption. I'd love to find time to serve someone as "deeply" as possible. I know folks often fantasize about 24/7/365 locked in a cell, etc, but the reality is that's impractical. But for a long weekend, a week, perhaps. Have you ever thought about having a slave at your complete mercy for some fixed amount of time. We'd negotiate certain hard limits beforehand, but other than that, I'd let you have your way with me, even if it's not something I'd want or enjoy. For example forced-bi, smoking, are a hard limits. Not going to happen. Not my thing. Ball-kicking... I absolutely HATE it.. I'll do almost anything (except cross hard limits) to avoid it. But... I'd suffer it, simply because I'd want to put your pleasure first.  Obviously we'd have to get to know each other first, but if there is a connection spark, even for just a short period of time I'd love to see what we could do.  

December 9,2023 - Coaches first visit       First visit with "The Coach" today. I'm not sure, but I think the Coach is the closest thing to a completely straight guy that I've had visit me in a quite a while.   I seem to attract the bisexual guys who are dominant in their work but desire to be submissive to another male. And I think that was the case today.   Coach and I messaged on FetLife for a while, determining what he wanted and what his limits were. Then we set up a time for his first visit. It was going to be just after he had coached a game, so I was sure he would have a good mix of testosterone and adrenaline for his first visit.   The time wasn't exact since he didn't know when the game would finish. Around the time expected, he messaged me to let me know he was going to be on his way soon. I kicked back and watched some porn until his arrival.   Being his first visit, I met him in the driveway so he knew he had the correct house. I was wearing my long brown hooded bathrobe. His mind was probably already racing wondering what, if anything, that I was wearing under the housecoat.   We came inside and took a seat and instructed him to strip. As we had previously discussed as he stripped each article of clothing off he folded them neatly by his shoes next to the door.   He had a nice physique and I knew we were going to be having some fun. He was wearing a small cock cage. It appeared he was already straining against it. I remembered that I had instructed him to wear the cock cage during the game. I didn't verify if he has followed directions, or had put it on after the game. I walked over to the couch and grabbed two velcro wrist restraints. I grabbed one of his wrists and extended his arm and attached the velcros cuff. Then the other wrist, as I wrapped the velcro restraint making sure both cuffs were secured around his wrists. Then I retrieved a dog collar from the couch and put it around his neck. This at first, but then I loosened it a notch or two so it was fairly loose. I had plans, and wanted it a bit loose, almost comfortable. But I wanted him to remember, while he was here, he was property. A sub for my use.   Although I had warmed the house a bit, as I wrapped my arms around him from behind him and played with his nipples, I felt him quiver. I'm sure it was a combination of fear and anticipation causing him to quiver, not the temperature of the room.   Normally and make notes when someone leaves, but during today's visit I forgot. So my memory might not be 100% accurate on our activities since I'm writing this story over a week later.   Normally at this point, I sit back in my rocking chair and have they guy suck my cock for a while, but I remember that didn't happen today. And honestly, I don't remember why. Either something we had talked about, or something in my mind cause me to change things and we headed straight upstairs.   When we got up to the bedroom stripped the bathroom off. I was completely naked. I laid back on the bed and told him to come over between my legs and suck my cock. Without hesitation he climbed on the bed and latched on to my cock.   Although one part of me thinks that he is 99% straight, good Lord was he a great cocksucker. It makes me wonder if I'm correct or not. But during the conversations on Fetlife, that was the impression I had. But now that his mouth was on my cock, I was questioning my assumption.   I'm not sure what the hell he was doing with his tongue on my cock but it was incredible. Something about the combination of sucking and swirling and licking at the same time was great. In fact, it was too good. It had been a week or so since I had hooked up with someone and this felt so good, I felt that I could orgasm at any moment. So I told him to lick my balls.   Although I enjoy having a guy lick my balls, in this case the main reason I was having him lick my balls was to prevent me from having an orgasm. How sad would it be for him to arrive and not more than 5 or 10 minutes later have an orgasm and send him on his way.   So he licked at my balls for a while as I raised my right leg putting my knee in the air to give him greater access to my balls and taint. He was good at that also, but not as good as his cock sucking skills. Soon using both of my hands on the sides of his head, I lifted him off my balls and lowered him onto my cock again. The feeling was sensational. I just remembered that I kept murmuring, "oh fuck, oh fuck that feels great."   I grabbed his head and started pushing him deeper onto my cock. He gagged which made me chuckle. I think I growled something like, "oh yeah choke on Daddy's cock."   Part of the time I watched him bob up and down on my cock, part of the time I just threw my own head back enjoying the moment. I looked down and could see his cute bubble butt over his shoulders which only made my cock harder. I was planning to fuck that ass before he left tonight.   I wrapped my right leg over his shoulder onto his back. That just pulled him down onto my cock a bit more. With my hands on the back of his head and my right leg over his back I could force him onto my cock until his chin rubbed my balls. He was choking on my cock, completely under my control, completely submissive, doing exactly what I was telling him to do. I was giving him the fantasy that he was wanting.   I remember being quite verbal that day. Repeatedly calling him… daddy's little cocksucker, calling him… a good little fagot, but at the same time rewarding him by telling him what a good job he was doing sucking cock. Each time he choked I would give him a compliment like, "good Boyyyyyyyy" dragging the work out like I was rewarding a family dog. I watched as his head continued to bob up and down on my cock.   He would deep throat my cock until it was all the way in the back of his throat, then he would pull almost completely off and suck hard on just the head of my cock, swirling his tongue around, poking his tongue in my piss slit, then go back to deepthroating and choking again.   But now I had reached my threshold of my orgasm. If I can keep from orgasming past the first 5 or 10 minutes, I'm usually good for an hour. I'm not quite sure what that is, but once I passed that 10 minute mark I'm good for a while. And at this point, I was past my mark.   I started getting a little more rough with him. I reached down and grab the collar and gave it a bit of a twist, tightening it on his neck. Simultaneously I pulled the collar down, pulling him onto my cock. This did a bit of breath control, or breath restriction, while he continued to suck my cock.   I kept the color twisted until his body language was telling me he was at his limit on breath control. So I released the collar and I just laid back on the bed enjoying whatever in the fuck he was doing with his tongue. Oh my God, it was incredible.   I remember him repositioning himself, I think to get up on his elbows a bit. He slid his hands under my legs almost cupping my butt cheeks whereas before they had been on top of my legs, his forearms almost resting on my chest toward my nipples. Now that his upper arms were under my legs, I took the advantage and raised both of my legs onto his back. I crossed my legs locking them and behind his back squeezed his head between my legs.   With my hands, I forced him deep onto my cock. Then I tightened the squeeze of my legs holding him in place. No longer

Master's WritingsFoundations: The Ethics of SadismThe ethics surrounding sadomasochistic play are perhaps among the most important in all of the BDSM community. I constantly see posts from masochists searching for a "Real Sadist", someone who knows what they are doing and they can trust. And why shouldn’t they, in this realm, we are often talking about genuine pain and the potential for real harm. Yet I continue to see those who call themself by the title, who operate without a code and believe that sadism is nothing more than a license to hurt another person. Thus, the need for a code and identify the ethics behind the title.Up-front, any attempt to identify ethics must include basic standards such as:     Both parties being of minimum legal age     Both parties being competent to legally consent     All physical and mental health considerations of both parties have been made known     The nature, depth and limits on the activities have been previously agreed to by both parties     Consent of the bottom has been given to the activities discussed without any form of duress, coercion, manipulation or barter     and finally, that safewords or some form of safeguard communication is in place that stop or pause play as necessary Beyond the basics, however, I believe that the ethics of sadism must go beyond that. It must include a dedication to perfecting one's skills and knowledge of the craft long before you ever raise a cane, a commitment to know your bottom to a depth beyond normal play so that you possess a clear understanding of what they want and why they want it and an absolute mandate that the Sadist never brings their outside emotions, such as anger or stress, into a scene (if you are made at the world, no bottom should pay for that). Additionally, it must also include a dedication to maintain a constant awareness of a bottom's capacities throughout any scene.But the real point of the ethics of Sadism lies in the commitment to maintaining all of these beliefs and values during the heart of a scene. It is easy to be ethical before a scene begins, but as the tempo rises, as the pain threshold lies within reach, being ethically strong enough to not get carried away in the thrill and glory of the moment is an ever present challenge. It is there, in that moment when a Sadist must lean into their ethics and remember their responsibility for a bottom's safety, the commitments you made about the scope play, and the dedication to not get sloppy with either technique or intention. In the heat of the moment, you walk the fine line between pleasure and pain, ecstasy and injury, but responsibility requires a strong ethical core to keep your bottom safe and deliver wisely on the gift of the experience you deliver.For me it is the connection I make during play, either physical, as in touch, or verbal, as in checkups, communication and listening. Connection helps remind me my bottom is a person. A person who has placed their body and experiences in my hands. It humbles me and reminds me that without ethics, I am no better than a monster with a whip. It is the ethics of Sadism that keeps me human and allows me to call myself a sadist with a clear conscience. 

Hello all, I want to take a moment to give out some tips to cathing my interest with your messages. Some of these are gonna sound bitchy but take them to heart they will help you not only with me but probably every woman on this site.  1) In less than 24 hours I have recieved nearly 30 pages of messages. If I don't get to you immediately when you send a message, do not spam me with stupid are you there, pay attention to me, come here slut, and so on messages, that only slows me down and pisses me off and i will most likely just block you. 2) Do not write a thesis paper as a first message. I have 30 pages of messages to read and If your first message to me is more than a paragraph I am not investing the time into you.  3) On the opposite side of above, don't just say hey, or whats up. You need to catch attention with your first message. Also don't just tell me to look at your profile. If your message catches my eye I will go look on my own. 4) Don't send me a dick pic without asking first, come on its 2023 women shouldnt have to say this anymore. I am submissive but all your cocks look the same and I don't care to pretend otherwise lol 5) This might just be me and not all women but I do not want to immediately jump to some other messenger. All thousand of you who have messaged me today want to use a different app, I don't want to have 1000 apps, and if i cant keep up here alone why do you think 1000 apps will be faster? If we click and get to know each other i might move to an app, until then if you dont want to chat here why bother being here? Ok, rant over. The jist is guys, women here get absolutely flooded, dont be an ass about it. And if you think you deserve my sole undivided attention after one message get over yourself, if thats how it worked the first guy who messaged me would be the only one i talked too and where would that leave all the rest of you?

Open thought: I am into meeting up with one or two saine kinky men, have a good time and then move on. Again I have met 2 European men from this site so far.  Sex to them was great but for me was only ok. I prefer to keep things casual, be open to dating or be open to having a level of intimacy where we create a safe space and say this is our sexual refuge and take it from there. I get messages from men who initiate they want to stay with me longterm and use the word "marriage" and talk about they have had 3 longterm relationships in the life - snore. So this means I have to commit to someone I don't get to know first? That to me is rude.  It means you don't respect starting a true relationship.  It means you hope to get a full invite into my flat. You want to travel from France and Romania and stay with me and then monitor who I am with and how I keep to myself and then, what use my place and then come and go as you like?   What you need is Air BnB, I will look for someone who I can get to know, who I can trust but I don't have to be bound to them when I find out they are not for me. I found out the last 2 were not for me the fish can go back into the sea and I can put my net back in the pond and move on.

For those who ask me this is the sort of Domination I enjoy and practice.  from www.cyberbazzar.com waay back in the day! The Equalitarian Dom: Is one who controls by teaching, mentoring, and leading. This Dominant knows that when he finds a comparable submissive that things will happen as a natural progression of the interaction. Usually just a short learning phase is required to receive the correct response from the submissive. Both the Dom and the sub “get it”, there is very little need for so called “training” and they naturally know what the other needs and seeks. The Dominant does not like the situation of constantly repeating and forcing a particular behavior (submission) to occur. Besides the activities (sexual and others) it is the surrender as a result of the Domination that is the enjoyment. Creativity is an important part of this situation. They tend to intellectualize and be more into the philosophical and psychological mechanisms of this life style. They understand the concepts and resultant interactions and can put it into real life. They do not need many rules like the Democratic type, nor do they like the heavy S&M activities of the Authoritarian, preferring submission to occur as a result of an instilled desire in the submissive to surrender. She “wants” to submit as a result of the Dominant’s knowledge and skill in dominating her. Sensuousness is the rule. Pain is given and received as a form of sensuous stimulation. Light pain as opposed to severe. Sensuous torture is a popular activity in this area. Both the Dominant and the submissive must naturally be this way. These are the people who will claim to be “born that way”. They fully understand the concept of D/s, it comes to them naturally and easily. They attract a submissive that truly and naturally desires to please and who will observe and sense what it is that the Dominant is communicating; and be able to translate that into the right thing to do. The “doing or saying without having to be told” type. The submissive begs easily and surrenders sweetly. They understand the concept of respect and surrender and can make it happen after initial learning with little or no additional instructions. They embrace the surrender gratefully and lovingly.   These individuals usually form very intimate relationships. There is not much downside to these relationships, because they not only gr the concepts, but can make it happen as well, and their attraction is based on a strong mutual respect. Their strong relationship is not readily apparent to the unobservant, but they are always subtly in the 24/7 mode. The fact that these things come forth naturally and without the need for orders is a great source of pride, satisfaction, and loving. They are the opposite side of the coin from the Authoritarian. Whose pride, satisfaction, and love come from strictness and forbearance.

So, maybe I lack vision?  I am real, totally real, and wanting real, totally real... Why do people from across the country, or even other countries message me and want to like, just chat?  I am not looking to supply fantasies for some married man.  That is not my game here.  Local man, messages local woman, message back and forth a few times, move off site, message a few more times, (We can chat on the phone, but I will be honest, I hate phones, I use it to conduct business, and avoid it even at that, I even just emailed a doctor to avoid a phone call…  I read body language and facial expressions, and without them, I am lost in the conversation.  Voice inflection and pitch etc are lost on me.)  We meet for a quick coffee or something, so that if it is horrible it isn’t drug into a long awkward thing, and it if is wonderful we can sit and order a second coffee and sit for hours, or even get it to go, and find a park or someplace quieter to talk…   Then maybe progress to a meal, lunch, dinner, whatever schedules allow, and then progress from there… If you are in London, and I am in Kansas… are you planning to fly in for coffee?  Planning to relocate?  If so, cool, we can start chatting.  Otherwise… this is not the woman you are looking for… (waves Jedi hand and you pass on to the next profile…) NO You Star Wars nerd!  You did not just find the one if you are not local!  Go back to the begining and read again! Facepalm... lol

[Just a little piece of erotic fiction (FICTION) I’ve got rambling around in my head] "What Daddy wants, Daddy gets: Our daily “on display” routine"," I’m not a “little”, and my Dom who I live with is not into age play BUT loves the nickname Daddy.  We live together in his fairly large ranch house that has a large 10 foot wide 7 feet tall picture window in the family room that faces our back yard.  We have a private fence, but surrounding houses have a 2nd floor so it’s visible to many anyway. Our morning routine is one of my favorites - I wake up 1/2 hour before daddy does to make some coffee and attend to a few things before he wakes up.  It’s my responsibility to prep my pussy to be really and willing to accept whatever he decides to stick in there form the minute he wakes up. When it IS time for him to wake up I’m his human alarm clock and so make waking very very pleasant!  Coffee made the way he wants, appropriate clothes laid out and prepared for his day (work or home on the weekends), and me naked kneeling beside the bed at about the middle of his torso.  I get to be creative with how i awaken him, which is a delight for me as I love to be creative!! This morning I chose to give soft kitten-kisses on his arm that’s closest to the edge, and it gently wakes him up after a few minutes.  “Good morning, Kitten,” he says softly in almost a whisper.  “Good morning, Daddy.” is my standard reply.   “And how are my Kitten’s nipples feeling after their treatment yesterday?” he asks with a knowing grin.  “They are throbbing from yesterdays suck-fest, goodness they are tender, almost raw from your gnawing on them for so long!  I love it, thank you Daddy.” As he sits up to roll out of bed, I have slippers ready where his feet will land.  He swings his legs out, I guide them into each slipper, and he spreads his legs wide displaying his dominance over me with his gorgeous cock and lovely man-bush at it’s base.  He stands and I hold open his robe to slip on. Before we even begin to move into the kitchen For breakfast, he runs his hand over my hard nipples, flicking them to make them harder - of course today it’s 10 times more intense because of yesterday’s activities.  I gasp and all that does is make him pinch and rub harder, dammit!  He knows he has my attention, and then slides his hand down to my pussy to ensure it’s wet and ready, which it always is but I love that his fat fingers probes me “just to be sure.” After a quiet breakfast comes my second-favorite routine and that is the daily display of Daddy’s living fuck toy.  I follow him into our family room that has no window coverings and assume my assigned position.  “On your back legs wide on the fucking bench,  Kitten.” And I dutifully do as told.  My head is nearest the window, my pussy the other direction and he begins to fuck me and twist my nipples harder than yesterday - I begin to simultaneously cry and howl as I’m getting wetter from his invasion of my slit. I tilt my head back to look out the window (upside down view) and I see 2 neighbors peeking out of their  houses’ 2nd story's that face our family room window to watch with backs face the back of our house.  Earl and Stephen have their pants down or off, and I see them both stroking their wieners in response to todays live-action. It’s this morning ritual that makes me blush when I see them in the neighborhood or in the grocery store...none of their wives know, or at least aren’t saying they know, and it feels like a dirty secret (which it is!!).  After Daddy has filled me with a huge load, he texts Ralph and Stephen to come on over, I’m wet and juicy and ready for them. Stephen is busy and has to run, but Earl - who is retired - replies he’s coming over.  Earl arrives in short order, chats with Daddy in the family room as I’m spread eagle and dripping, making a pool of my juice and Daddy’s jiz.  Daddy retreats to the bedroom to get dressed, and leaves Earl free to do as Daddy did and cum in my pussy.  (The rule with neighbors is they may come over and do to me what Daddy did, which means they had to pay attention and also keeps them in check with my body-boundaries Daddy has in place. Earl retired “young” at only 58, but his cock works just as well as a 26 year old’s.  He immediately enters my nasty wet pussy and shoves his dick HARD in me, so hard he jolts the table and I slide a little further away which amuses Daddy who peeked out from the bedroom.  Earl takes his damn time, fucks me hard for 15 straight minutes, then pulls out and spews his jiz all over my bottom and floor which I’ll have to clean up later. Left to clean up from the festivities, I hop to it before it dries.   I wish Earl a good day, and Daddy is ready to leave and I wish him the same. Wonder what tomorrow’s activity will be?

People are fascinating. We are a true mix of talents, experiences, complexities, desires, strengths, weaknesses and hope. Relationships are a balancing act of attraction, relation, commonality, goals and ideals. Kink adds an extra layer of intricacy. I see a dichotomy in many profiles on here: the desire to be seen alongside a desire to be enveloped in a new lifestyle.

Where does one begin to find a subject for a journal entry, when one does not ordinarily journal? This being a lifestyle site, i find reading others profiles and journals is akin to going out and finding people at munch's or parties and getting to read their minds. Journals are where so many post their / our thoughts and desires. I suppose it's the desires that many post, if they aren't just sounding off on all that vexes them. W/we all want to find someone to belong to or belong with. (which side of the / do W/we live). I have mentioned in many posts, not just here, but in the rare journal or diary entries scattered through the devices i have owned, that i found the collar from this site. or when it was Collarme at the time. The time belonging to and growing again as a person, not just as a submissive,were the most special of my life. Finding joy in your life is important. How we find that joy varies immensely. my own discovery of belonging to someone (at that time a couple) gave me back a spark of joy that has carried me to where i am in the local community. Do not lag in finding joy! I see many who live in their fantasy only in their minds, not realizing that all we desire and hope for is out there. Waiting for us to find it, accept it and be thankful for it becoming part of our life.  my own cravings for certain activites are again looking for an outlet. This is not a plea, just putting out there that a willing bondage subject and, now out of the closet, cross dresser, hopes to find people who, together, we can enjoy something together. That's about all for now. Be safe out there and feel free to reach out to those you find interesting or want to learn more from. @}-- Sister Ida aka boytom

I am testing this out as in the past change came with risk. We are still a mature couple, I am 72, she is 73. We have been Vaxed, still caught covid despite that and every thing else. We tested negative Sunday 9/3/22, second time since 8/22/22. Still being care full. We are looking for the following; male/female slave couple, female slave, male/houseboy/slave, trans, prefer m2f slave,. Prinary interest Family dynamic with select age in the middle range. Secondary interest, just about everything else with few limits. We have another profile here to more pictures there, profile not updated. TheHouseofDaniel. Just keeping it all honest.

 I am guessing that a lot of men here, and I don’t blame them, really, just want someone to look at their cock and tell them they did a good job by having one. But honestly, is that what D/s is? I thought that a Dom was a man that had figured out how to seduce a woman and liked seduction. I thought the whole point was for them to use their power in ways to see what they could do. Where are these men? I feel like I have more power now than ever and am so disappointed at the lack of creativity and artistry. What is up you guys? Within minutes of making a connection a man says ‘you will be my whore’ which is a bit much, but ok, my dude, let’s see what you’ve got? Make me your whore! Just you telling me I will be your whore really isn’t so effective. Plus you don’t mean it, you might mean you want someone you can jack off to/with, which is cool, but that’s not your whore, that’s just a whore. And being a whore, which is also fine, is not what I am looking to experience. I am surely worth more than that.  When I think about being a man’s whore, well I get very excited. I think about the possibilities for so many interesting and intriguing things, I want to give this person pleasure, I want to focus on them, learn how to serve them. I want us to build a connection that allows for mutuality. I want to want to be really bad for him.   But it’s a relationship and in my mind an important one and perhaps I am wrong but when I offer myself up sexually to someone it’s kind of sacred to me. I take the thing seriously, I am good at devotion.  There have been men that believed they very much wanted me to be their whore, but with the exception of a very few,  they weren’t really getting me, and though they seemed very much committed to ‘the idea of idea’ of the dynamic, they  weren’t able to be realistic- like they lacked maturity or experience. I totally thought I would be able to find someone to teach me something. And I am mean, I am not that evolved. I am sure I have a lot to learn. Are my expectations out of bounds? Am I wrong about what this D/s thing has come to be about? Any sane person out there want to share a prespective on this for me?   No need to attack me, I am seirously just speaking from my own experience.

Sond thesom.   My view on the difference between submissives and slaves   WARNING - Controversial subject matter.   This topic has been debated and argued over and over. When asking 100 different people about this issue, you are likely to get   200 different opinions. Also keep in mind that many start as a   submissive, but with trust and the building of the power exchange and   relationship it moves into a Master or Mistress / slave situation by   consent of both parties.   I am not posting this as something that is to be argued. It is my view of   what the difference between a submissive and a slave is to me.   This is my opinion, and only my opinion.   I wish to point out that these are the two extremes. There are many,   many shades between the two which can all be sorted out with   time and negotiations.   A submissive is allowed many freedoms and are able to negotiate more of the terms when it comes to ownership of property, making of personal plans. In other words a submissive can be a live in or a live out. They pay their own bills. they can own their own home, and car etc... in general they can inform their Dominant that they have made some plans for hobbies, family or other aspects in their lives. A submissive's limits are honored, If it wasn't specifically negotiated - it is off-limits, They are their own person but have the right of refusal even if it is not a "hard limit". Their future within the lifestyle as well as other personal aspects are all negotiated and allowances often made so that they may maintain a fairly normal life without having to constantly ask permission. Often a safeword is allowed in case a submissive becomes too uncomfortable in whatever situation