Doms are a greedy bunch…

Ordinarily, that wouldn’t be viewed as a good thing. You throw your weight around, brandishing words like “mine” “own”, “property”, “use” and terms such as serving, kneeling, branding, collaring, leashing, and training – all designed for your pleasure and gratification. You, Sir, are greedy!

If you’re fortunate enough to catch the interest of a Dom, prepare to be swept away. Once He has you in His cross hairs, He’s not going to be satisfied until He has you stuffed and mounted on the wall like the trophy you are to Him. He’s greedy!
 
Your Dom is in hot pursuit. He’s interesting, engaging, curious… even doting. He wants to know you and all that you are. He wants to take you apart to view all the mechanisms of your soul. It’s not enough for Him to just capture your attention – He wants full occupancy in your mind. He is greedy!

It's not as if He wakes up in the morning, stretches and thinks to Himself, "I think I'll be Dominant today". He just is. The moment you’ve captured His attention, you’ve fully engaged all His Dominant tendencies. And it’s game on!! It's in His nature, particularly if there's something He desires (you), for the now fully engaged dominant mechanism to become even more enhanced – He wants to consume that thing which is the object He desires (you again). He is greedy!

A Dom’s nature doesn’t include simple thoughts like: He wants you or needs you – HE MUST POSSESS YOU!!  He wants to turn you into putty in His hands, then shape and mold you into the perfect submissive you were always meant to be…HIS. He is greedy!

Dom’s are demanding. He wants your time and your full attention. Even in the midst of His sometimes lightly veiled (or even overt) requests or commands, His mind is in conflict. His dominant nature is fully engorged. He’s unaccustomed to not having His way – particularly when it comes to engaging with a submissive. However, He also knows that He has to do the work. He could very well and easily force your submission to Him. He could sink His strong and adept fingers deeply into your hair and bring you to your knees with His very hand.  Make no mistake, on your knees at His feet is exactly where He wants to you be!! He is greedy!

His conflict remains. What He seeks – His desire, the object of His attention and affection, that thing He MUST possess – she has to be compelled to giving herself to Him. And He wants that to His very core. If you give yourself to Him freely, eagerly and completely then and only then will He have acquired His most prized possession (that would be you). He is greedy!

By all appearances, He is greedy and all consuming; however, what finer, more lovely accolade could there be than to be His greed. HIS object, HIS trophy, HIS beautiful creature, HIS desire; the one who has penetrated His very thought and that in which He MUST possess.

“Do your homework.” He says matter-of-factly, “Also write me an e-mail describing a perfect scene from your point of view. I notice between your mind and your response, there are certain filters present. Lose them!”

I do enjoy a thought provoking challenge. You know, one of those in which my eyes will be rolling up in silent ponderance, as if I can visually look into the depths of my own mind.

“Sir,” I reply, “I respectfully submit that I have not only done the homework, I’ve written the thesis!”

There are several things to answer in this. He’s seeking absolute simplicity where none exists.

Let us take a stroll and I shall walk with you down the path which is my mind...

I don’t “scene”. I don’t want to “scene”. If I was interested in simply playing a role, I’d take an acting class. It would provide the perfect outlet for “scene”. I’ve chosen a lifestyle. It means that’s how I’ve chosen to live life. I’ll embellish the context further and suggest that what you’re asking me is to describe a fantasy. I also don’t fantasize. I never have. My mind exists firmly planted in the reality of the right here, right now.

Do I have certain thoughts relative to interests which I’d like to explore? Absolutely! I can find a certain level of fascination in virtually anything that is unknown to me, which is a lot! That in itself is a bona fide interest.

Beyond those things, there’s no specificity. There’s no “scene” in my mind which has manifested itself in some graphic detail. I wholly believe that’s a big part of why submission works so well for me. I don’t have all those specific thoughts others do. If I’m providing you a “scene” with all the level of detail required to meet MY needs – how is that not topping from the bottom?

Instead, I plant seeds of interest in your mind, then I allow you to cultivate them in ways which are your pleasure. My needs are still met. Dually, in fact. You’ve captured the essence of my interest and it’s pleasing and pleasurable to you. That’s a win-win!

Let us hike a trail in this direction, Sir…

I notice between your mind and your response there are certain filters present. Lose them!

My mind doesn’t operate in a manner with filters present. My expression, whether verbal or in writing, does. That being said, I cannot recall a single time when I’ve processed any thought which contained straight graphically pornographic text. I will think rather simple thoughts, like I’m getting wet or wow, that’s hot or I’ll become aware of a bit of throbbing sensation.

To be full on pornographic in nature, either in speech or writing, I have to translate simple thought to some creative version of expression. I’ll need to assess the primary messaging and context of the thought. Analyze and search for the perfect expression to articulate my thought or feeling. There goes that eye rolling again… At that point, it’s almost like completing a “task” and likely defeating to the intended purpose.

In the throes of carnal experiences, I’m capable of some speech. Well, perhaps not complete sentences :)  Definite audible noises, some heartfelt encouragement or maybe pleads for what I view as the ultimate reward. Full on begging…hmmm… elusive. More eye rolling. It’s outside the natural processing of my brain and detracts from ‘the moment’.

More likely, at that point, your eyes are rolling in impatient disdain, which may or may not be followed by certain {ahem} unpleasantries. It’s not that I don’t want to complete the “task”… particularly if doing so equates to being the ‘good girl’ we both want me to be.

I can’t be the only one whose brain supersedes what should be basic instinct.

Perplexing. There it goes again…

“Whore!” 

The word spouts venomously from His lips in a hiss that sends chills down my spine and causes surges of blood to pump repeatedly into my clit. He might as well be calling me “kitten” or “muffin” or some other drippingly sweet annotation because that’s how it translates in my mind.

Wait a minute…. Shouldn’t I be offended? Isn’t there a societal ruling that dictates I’m required to engage in some disgruntled indoctrination or make some profound proclamation like, “AM NOT!”

Truth is, yes, I am a whore and I wear my badge proudly! I will forever let my whore flag fly!! Viva la whores!

Today, my Sir asked me, “slut, do you know why you’re a whore?”

“Yes, Sir, because I expect a return on my investment”, I replied with a bratty smirk.

His Sir-ness, while he may find my musings slightly humorous, still manages to find clever and creative ways to let me know they aren’t necessarily appreciated, which brings me to “Why I’m A Whore…”

What exactly is a whore anyway? And why is it so offensive?? By definition, a whore is a prostitute; “a person, typically a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment”.  When society makes the connection between whore and payment I’m sure there are visions of women of the night walking the streets of seedy neighborhoods soliciting for cash, drugs, a meal, a place to crash; the list is endless. Methods of “payment” all – an exchange for services rendered.

So, why am I a whore… it’s not as if I surf Ridgewood Avenue in stilettos exchanging blow jobs for some form of ‘payment’. I never have and I never will.

I’m a whore because my ‘payment’ is received in the form of sexual gratification. I receive dividends in the form of hair pulling, spit, gagging, tears and the grandest premium of all – cum! Oh yes, I AM a whore and I’m greedy when it comes to receiving payment in full. I want it all!!

My reward is greater than money or drugs or trinkets. My reward is delivered in orgasmic satisfaction and a job well done!

And that’s why I’m a whore…

I want to crave Him, miss Him, feel His touch and smell His scent even when He’s not there.

I want to feel His power and it makes me walk a little taller, hold my head a little higher, be a little stronger.

Those times when I am feeling small, insecure, belittled, beaten, battered, defeated or bewildered, I want to seek shelter in His strength. I want to know that with Him I will always find security, protection and unconditional love.

I want to know that He will share my victories and build me up when I fail. He will be my champion, my mentor, my lover, my friend, and my confidante.

I will know that I can share anything about myself, good or bad, with Him and He’ll never judge.

Together, we are a force.

He will know that for all that I draw from Him, I will return in equal or greater proportion.

We will complement each other. My weakness will be His strength and His, mine. I will defend Him fiercely and provide a soft, loving place for Him to land.