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Who Am I? I am the man, to whom, everyone in the room, naturally seems to defer. I don’t raise my voice or make grabs for attention to achieve this…it just happens. I am almost always the wisest man in the room. If you know me, then I am the one you come to for advice and I am the one whose advice you heed most carefully. I am a gentleman. I believe in good manners. I abhor those who use this lifestyle as an excuse to abuse others. I am a leader. I am fiercely intelligent. I have a commanding presence. I would rather command with a whisper or a look than raised voice. I am silly. I love to laugh. I have a boy’s heart. Star Wars is my favorite movie—I quote it often. I love sports. I don’t play video games. I love to read. I am a voracious reader. I am always in the middle of a book, unless I’m choosing a new one to begin. I am affectionate. I enjoy touch. My hand belongs somewhere on your body. I am looking for love. D/s without love is empty and meaningless to me. I love dogs. I’m allergic to cats—no matter how perfect you may be for me, if you’re unwilling to give up your kittens, we can’t be together. I am not wealthy. I do have my flaws. I am single, never married with no kids. I am very sexual. I am very kinky. I am sincere in my search and honest in my dealings. Who are you? I don’t come looking for you with some preconceived idea of who you are. You don’t exist in my mind as a checklist. In fact, I find checklist people to be amazingly foolish—as if any of us are aware enough to know it until we find it. If you believe in checklists and have foolish bunches of deal breakers, you aren’t for me. I’d rather be surprised by you than fit you into some preconceived box. There are some things about you that are important, if we are mesh, though. For instance, it makes you happy to make others happy—especially someone you love. In fact, acts of service is your love language. It’s how you show affection. It makes you feel good to serve and please the one you love and not having someone to dote on like that makes you feel sad and lonely. You need control and discipline in your life. Whether you’re an executive with a team of people reporting to you all day or work on the bottom rung of your flagpole, you have within you a hunger for someone who can make your world a smaller place, safer place—a place where you need not worry and stress. It’s important that you have these qualities because this is what I take, what I need from you and it’s what I give, what I offer you. These are the means of how we will serve one and other. These will be the basis of our symbiosis. What kind of life will we live? I’m looking for a TPE and to live the D/s lifestyle. That means different things to different people, so allow me to elaborate. I don’t seek role-play and I don’t seek bedroom games. I seek a permanent power exchange dynamic. I expect this to be how we live our lives. Does that mean we can’t go out to dinner with vanilla friends or go on dates to the movies? Of course not. It means there will be a constant dynamic between us that will be the structure of our relationship. It means you will be Mine in public, in private, in the bedroom, on the couch, at your parents’ place for Sunday brunch. In private, there will be one set of protocols in place. In public, there will be another—a very subtle, discrete version, that will be just as strong but no one will ever know our secret, unless we choose to tell them for some reason. THAT is living the life 24/7. It is consistent, even though it’s very different in public and private. It gives you the security you need to be happy, because it’s always there. What else? All the rest is details. Are we attracted to one and other? I find that to be a necessity. Are there things about you that make me want to know you more? Are there things about me that make me want to know you? Fetishes? Oh, I’m happy to discuss those with you, but this life is only about fetish for those for whom it’s ALL about fetish. If there’s something, in particular, that you feel you need, just tell me and I”m sure I can accommodate you—however, I am not a sadist. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in a good spanking. I just don’t get off on your pain. I am more of a sensual, psychological dominant than one who needs brutal force to get what he wants. What’s next? The ball is in your court. You must be brave. You must show that you’ve read this far and do something that may be outside of your nature. You need to contact me first. The fakes and flakes very rarely do so—if you take the time to introduce yourself to me, as I have to you, I can promise that I will respond. I would prefer you say more than hello. If you can’t put yourself to words, the way I have done here, that’s okay. But tell me a story about yourself, tell me a secret, tell me something that reveals a bit of you. If you can be that brave and give that much…who knows what might happen next.

The Pictures: They are not me. They are what I wish to create. If the life in those photos appeals to you, we'll likely get along just fine. I have no problems sharing my own photo. Simply send one of yourself and I will return one of me. Finally: I’ve been on this site for a while, though the truth of the matter is that my search was very casual. That is changing. I expect my search to intensify and bear fruit. If we have communicated in the past and fallen off for any reason and you wish to begin anew, I would encourage you to do so P.S. My journal entries will help you understand me even better. You should read them if you’re interested in becoming Mine.

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11/28/2021 10:33:07 AM

It's good to see the journal function back here.  I know I'm always concerned about updating my profile because it might go into that limbo hell of approval that this site seems to trap people.  Being able to write here helps bring things up to date.  

So, as of this entry, I am 46 years old.  Add one year every January and you'll get my current age.  Yes, I'm an Aquarius.  

I am also still seeking a feminine sub/slave to call my own.  I am not seeking occassional play though.  I have no interest in this lifestyle as a means to fetish fulfillment or kink play. Those things are amazing to me within the confines of D/s relationship but to me personally, it all becomes a bit less when it's done for it's own sake if you know what I mean.  I'm looking to wife you and make the Master-slave dynamic our life.  That doesn't mean we can cuddle on the couch and binge the latest Netflix show.  It just means that when we are doing vanilla things, the dynamic between us never changes.  

What I do best is provide structure, discipline and safety to Mine.  I give her a life she can manage and thrive in while taking responsibility off her plate.  In return, I expect to be served and served well.  I expect her hyperfocus on pleasing me. I'm completely openminded on kink and fetish.  Those aren't the drivers for me though.  Odds are I'll be into whatever you are though.

Finally, there's no picture in my profile because I keep this part of my life private and I value my job and career.  I'm more than happy to send a pic to anyone I am chatting with though. If you have a pic of yourself in your profile, just ask me and I'll return.  If you don't, send me yours and I'll return.  

Don't be shy.  I love making new friends and certainly seek more than that.  I am also happy to give advice to those who need the benefit of my experience.  


7/15/2017 8:13:10 AM
"Father Figure" That's all I wanted Something special, something sacred In your eyes For just one moment To be bold and naked At your side Sometimes I think that you'll never Understand me Maybe this time is forever Say it can be That's all you wanted Something special, someone sacred In your life Just for one moment To be warm and naked At my side Sometimes I think that you'll never Understand me But something tells me together We'd be happy (Baby) I will be your father figure (Oh baby) Put your tiny hand in mine (I'd love to) I will be your preacher teacher (Be your daddy) Anything you have in mind (It would make me) I will be your father figure (Very happy) I have had enough of crime (Please let me) I will be the one who loves you Until the end of time That's all I wanted But sometimes love can be mistaken For a crime That's all I wanted Just to see my baby's Blue eyed shine This time I think that my lover Understands me If we have faith in each other Then we can be Strong I will be your father figure Put your tiny hand in mine I will be your preacher teacher Anything you have in mind I will be your father figure I have had enough of crime I will be the one who loves you Until the end of time If you are the desert I'll be the sea If you ever hunger Hunger for me Whatever you ask for That's what I'll be So when you remember the ones who have lied Who said that they cared But then laughed as you cried Beautiful Darling Don't think of me Because all I ever wanted It's in your eyes baby, baby And love can't lie, no... (Greet me with the eyes of a child) My love is always tell me to... (Heaven is a kiss and a smile) Just hold on, hold on I won't let you go, my baby I will be your father figure Put your tiny hand in mine I will be your preacher teacher Anything you have in mind I will be your father figure I have had enough of crime (So I am gonna love you) Until the end of time I will be your father I will be your preacher I will be your daddy I will be the one who loves you until the end of time Writer/s: GEORGE MICHAEL

6/18/2017 9:23:55 AM
Another Daddy's Day goes by and no little girl to give me a Daddy's Day card. :(

6/9/2017 8:35:24 AM
Hmmmm. Lots of "dominant" men viewing my profile lately. I wonder... Are they coming for the pictures? Are they coming to steal the words in my profile? Are they coming to learn a little something? Sadly, I doubt it's the latter.

12/4/2016 12:30:00 PM
https://tmblr.co/ZmIdrs2CaTt3E
 



12/3/2016 8:45:34 AM
Now THIS looks like a fun way to spend a weekend! https://goo.gl/qm89vq https://goo.gl/HaCHZm https://goo.gl/W0eRYn https://goo.gl/haK9jY I think the last one is my favorite...when he makes her say, "I love you, Daddy!" RAWR!

10/30/2016 7:02:37 PM
So, I decided it was time to shake things up a bit.  Nothing major.  I just thought it was time for some new pictures.  No, they are not of me--I'm happy to share personal pics with those who have shared them with me, I just won't post them.  They say that a picture is worth a thousand words though and so I've posted 14,000 words worth of pictures that tell you a great deal about me and what I envision as a life between my girl and myself.  

If you have thoughts or questions about any of them, by all means, say hello and let me know.  

8/22/2016 8:16:11 PM
I bought a new pair of boots.  I have to wear dress shoes to work and mine were getting shabby and I decided it was time for a new pair of shiny black cowboy boots to replace them.  I had to drive an hour to get to a place that sells good boots, but it was worth the trip.  I really love them.  Why did I ever stop wearing boots?

Maybe because there's something sad about having to pull them off myself?  Maybe that's it.  It's the one time of the day when I don't love them.  Of course, maybe you could change that.  ;)

*****

I was at the Dollar Tree today.  Usually, when I'm there, I'm in and out.  I'm goal specific.  I find what I need, I get it and I get out.  Today, however, I was killing time.  So, I walked every aisle and did it at a leisurely pace.  I was amazed at how kinky that place is!  They have rope and clips and clamps and clothespins.  They had Duct tape and blindfolds and bamboo back scratchers that would make great paddles.  Everywhere I looked was something a dominant on a budget could use to torment a deserving little subbie.

I couldn't help but think about how fun it would be to walk in and hand her a basket, then walk through the store and filling the basket with only things to use during play time.  And of course, making a couple of choices that she would have no idea how they'd be used and watching her mind whirl as she tried to figure it out.  What a fun little shopping trip that could be!

That is all.  As you were.  

4/16/2016 9:41:50 AM
I'm stealing this from the profile of a FS I came across on the site.  She's not the author but she get's credit for introducing me to it.  Thank you, Aidree.  It's an amazing story and illustrates what a good man always tries to be for the woman he cares for...

The Touch of the Master's Hand

It was battered and scarred,

And the auctioneer thought it
hardly worth his while
To waste his time on the old violin,
but he held it up with a smile.

"What am I bid, good people", he cried,
"Who starts the bidding for me?"
"One dollar, one dollar, Do I hear two?"
"Two dollars, who makes it three?"
"Three dollars once, three dollars twice, going for three,"

But, No,
From the room far back a gray bearded man
Came forward and picked up the bow,
Then wiping the dust from the old violin
And tightening up the strings,
He played a melody, pure and sweet
As sweet as the angel sings.

The music ceased and the auctioneer
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said "What now am I bid for this old violin?"
As he held it aloft with its' bow.

"One thousand, one thousand, Do I hear two?"
"Two thousand, Who makes it three?"
"Three thousand once, three thousand twice,
Going and gone", said he.

The audience cheered,
But some of them cried,
"We just don't understand."
"What changed its' worth?"
Swift came the reply.
"The Touch of the Masters Hand."

And many a man with life out of tune
All battered with bourbon and gin
Is auctioned cheap to a thoughtless crowd
Much like that old violin

A mess of pottage, a glass of wine,
A game and he travels on.
He is going once, he is going twice,
He is going and almost gone.

But the Master comes,
And the foolish crowd never can quite understand,
The worth of a soul and the change that is wrought
By the Touch of the Masters' Hand.

~Myra Brooks Welch

 

2/20/2016 9:21:56 AM
I must confess myself a bit disappointed.  I was hopeful, that when I refocused myself and my energy toward finding my girl here on collarme, that the search would have been more fruitful.  In fact, it hasn't been.  For the first few weeks, after putting up the new profile, I seem to have had some impact, but people disappear or lose interest and now it's been a long time since I had any real hope on this site.  

So, I've decided to give in and make an account on that other Fetish Life website.  If we've ever been in contact here--or even if we haven't--feel free to add me as a friend over there.  

I suppose the next step is going to be actually going to lifestyle events, huh?  Ugh.  The things I do, in search of this sweet girl I want to call my own!

Be good.   

7/19/2015 11:33:52 AM
Today begins a new chapter for me.  I have revamped my profile in an effort to be less vague and mysterious, with hopes that clarity will bring about results.  My search is intensifying.  I admit, in the past, while I searched, it was a casual search.  Now, I'm looking with a little more conviction.  

If we've spoken in the past and things just kind of fizzled out, feel free to make contact and begin anew.  

The new profile covers just about everything and the old one exists as a journal entry now, so it's not lost forever.  

The pictures still are not me.  They are what I wish to create.  Perhaps, someday, you and I will hire a photographer and recreate each one of them.  ;)  For now, if you'd like to see me, just send a picture of yourself and I will return, in kind.  

7/19/2015 10:58:26 AM
This is my old profile:

I think the best way to enslave is to start by allowing the slave to build her own walls.

 

 

 

There are a lot of ways to do things here.  Some dominants have a cookie cutter and it doesn’t really matter what the slave starts as, he rolls her our and cuts her into the shape he wants and that’s the end of the story.  I’m sure there are many subs/slaves who prefer a dominant who uses this strategy. It’s just not my way.

 

 

 

In the long run, I’m looking for the same thing most people are, lifestyle or not, a happy life with someone I love.  I don’t have a predetermined shape I plan on molding her into.  I think every person needs something different and what works for one may not work for another.  So what I would like to do, very simply, is open a dialogue with anyone willing to see if we might be compatible.

 

 

 

Don’t mistake my willingness to allow you input into the construction of the walls that will confine you as a weakness.  If you’re smart, you will surely realize that it’s not.  I feel no need to front the strong, omniscient and omnipotent dominant personality that most do.  You will see quickly enough that I am strength and control beyond your wildest imaginings.

 

 

 

So if you are intrigued, I urge you to contact me.  No games, no pretense, no lies, I invite you to an open and honest conversation about what you need from your dominant, and I in turn will tell you what I expect and need in my pet.  Who knows, maybe it will be the first step to our happily ever after.

 

 

 


 

Please note:  I only very rarely make first contact.  It's not that I won't pursue you, but frankly I'm tired of wading through the fakes and flakes and wannabes.  I find that a girl who is willing to say hello first is less likely to be one of those  who will waste my time.  If I've looked at your profile in detail, there's a good chance I'd be interested in talking to you.  If I haven't, it's probably that I just haven't seen it yet.  Don't be shy.  Say hello.  I won't bite...yet.


3/14/2015 11:17:35 AM
I think that someone should extend a welcome to all of you 50 Shades of Grey noobies and since most of the things I've read here have been very assholey in nature, I guess it'll have to be me.  

Don't let all the assholes on this site scare you away.  Everyone comes to this lifestyle from somewhere and a movie based on a book that was written at the level of a 14 year old writer isn't the absolute worst of them.  Don't get me wrong, it's not the best, but there are people on this site who live their lives according to some goofy sci-fi writer who imagined a world with masters and slaves (but they don't call them slaves) so you're hardly alone.

Now that you're here, there are some things you should know though.  First of all, not all Dominant men are damaged.  You'll see that many who try to be Doms are really fucked up in the head and should be avoided at all costs.  They aren't truly dominant.  They have something to prove and no ability to prove it so they engage in an endless cycle of cruelty and stupidity.  However, while Christian Grey was excused for his tastes by being abused as a child, that's not all dominants--in fact, of the good ones, it's almost none of us.  

We're also not all absurdly wealthy.  We don't have helicopters and private jets and own our own companies.  It's rare that you'll have to be embarrassed coming out of our red room of pain because our maid and personal assistant are waiting for us.  Also, we don't all have enough room to have a red room of pain.  Hell, some of us aren't even sadists!

Anyway, this is getting long, so I'll close it up.  What you need to know is this:  This is an alternative lifestyle and you don't need to live it the way some asshole on the internet tells you that you do.  Experience in this life is overrated--this is life, it's about common sense, not experience.  Experience comes in handy for knowing how to tie a knot or how to use a toy without harming you, but so does research and care.  

You can define this life.  You don't have to live it the same way someone else does.  The people on this site and in this lifestyle want to feel special and different and you threaten them with your sheer numbers, so they may make fun of you, tell you that you don't know anything and tell you that you're doing it wrong, but that's all bullshit.  This life is whatever you choose to make it.  A good D/s relationship is constructed by both the Dom and the sub to make sure it's good for both of them.

And everyone is welcome here.  If a hater makes you feel otherwise, understand they feel threatened.  There are good people here--seek them out, ask them questions, solicit their advice and you'll be just fine.  Just know that calling yourself a Master doesn't make you one.  Beware the fucktards.  Use your noodle and don't let common sense go just because you're submissive.

That's about all I've got for you.  Good luck.  

3/7/2015 4:40:50 PM
I want to own some of you, for the sole purpose, of never allowing you, to take a picture, making duck face, ever again.  

1/17/2015 8:13:30 AM
Experiencing some technical difficulties.  I'm not able to charge my computer until I can get to an Apple store and get a new cord.  Back in a couple days.  ;)

12/5/2014 6:20:31 PM
More and more male doms seem to be clicking on my profile.  Are you ladies sending them here to learn something?  Or are they just coming to copy the pics I have up there?

11/21/2014 8:31:19 AM
This:  http://vimeo.com/60465577


10/25/2014 7:52:34 AM
If I ask you to tell me about yourself and you write back with a two-sentence answer, I will assume that the width and breadth of who and what you are, as a person, is contained in those two sentences.  

There's nothing wrong with brevity, but if two sentences are all you have, then you'd better make them count.  

If I ask, it's because I'm interested.  I don't want a rehash of what it says on your profile--I've already read that, if I'm asking for more, from you.  

I get it.  Some of you are thumb typing on a phone.  But if you give a half-hearted effort in your second or third email to me, how can I think of you as anything other than a person who gives a half-hearted effort?  I'd much rather get something back that says you aren't able to properly respond at the moment and will do so later, than a half-assed reply.  

Think about it.  Think about what a dominant man seeks.  Then think about what you're showing by your replies.  

Think.



9/28/2014 8:40:05 AM
So, I'm probably not the right person to be writing this, since the pictures I display on my profile are symbols of what I want from this life, rather than pictures of me.  I simply prefer to send those personal images through email--a personal choice.

That said, I don't understand some of the pictures I see on your profiles.  For instance, if your screen name is about your blue eyes, why would you have a black and white picture?  Obviously, you think your blue eyes are one of your best features and then you hide them in your picture.

Or, your name 36DDgirl and your picture is of your butt.  

And what's with all of you submissive women using pictures of your feet on your profile?  Isn't that more something for domme women to do? 

Look.  It's your profile and you can post whatever you want there.  I'm not telling anyone to do anything differently, I'm simply saying that it doesn't make sense.  

6/18/2014 12:53:20 PM
What is the difference between a submissive and a slave? Sometimes, I'll see profiles that insist, "I am a submissive but I'll NEVER be a slave." The thing is, by my definition of those things, that's kind of sad. And maybe that's the larger point--there aren't any standard definitions for those words, within "the lifestyle" to provide the proper distinction. It seems that a lot of people equate being a lifestyle slave with being a robot--with being mindless. In fairness, there are those out there who want that as well, both dominants who crave a mindless thing and submissives who feel that mindlessness is the only true freedom. I don't agree, but who am I to tell anyone what they should think (unless, of course, she's wearing my collar around her neck). ;) For me, however, I have a bit of a problem with the word submissive being used as a noun. Submissiveness is a beautiful, balancing trait and obviously, one possessed by many of you on this site. The balancing is the most important part of it. Submissiveness balances dominance and produces wholeness that two people can share. Which brings me back to the idea of being labeled a slave. To me (and maybe ONLY to me) the title of slave is one that is earned by a woman with a submissive heart, when the dominant, in her life, earns her complete and total trust. She doesn't obey because she's a robot, she obeys because she believes in him and trusts him completely and knows that he would never lead her wrong. She's not a mindless thing. She functions just fine on her own. She is perfectly capable of making a choice in his absence. In fact, under his guidance, she is, perhaps, more capable and ready to make choices than she has ever been in her life. But her trust and her love and submissiveness combine to defer to him. To me, it's the ultimate in this life. There is no such thing as consensual slavery. It's a myth. We are all here, on this site, looking to make the choice to enter into some kind of power exchange relationship. That choice means it's not ever true slavery. It began with a choice and a commitment. Just because there are idiots here who TALK about "true slaves" and "real slaves" don't let them define that word for you. If nothing else, take this away from reading this little rant: This is an alternative lifestyle. There are no rules here. Those who flock together like sheep never wanted to be separate to start with. At the end of the day, everything--and I mean EVERYTHING--should be defined by the two people engaging with one and other. And every different relationship should be different. Don't live this life to anyone else's standards. Create a relationship that benefits and fits you both. Use bits and pieces from everywhere else as you want to incorporate them. Reject whatever you don't want. Slave? It's just a word. If we talk about being a slave, a real slave, there is no choice involved, you are taken, against your will and enslaved. If you're here, if you're on this site, then that's not possible. At best, you're going to be forced to do something that deep down, you really want. But a lifestyle slave? It's just a made up word. It can mean anything you want it to mean. It already means different things to a lot of different people here. Don't get caught up in the words. Be bigger than the words. Ask the questions. Get the answers. Create the life you want--not the one that others have decided is the proper one for anyone who wants to live this "alternative" lifestyle.

6/14/2014 8:02:58 AM
Collarme/space Fact:  If a new "submissive" chooses a name with the words "honest" or "real" in it there is an 82% chance that her photo is an obvious attempt to pass a porn star off as herself.  

Of that group, 72% will be using the picture of a porn star named Raven Riley.  

Attn: Guys pretending to be girls--  Put a little effort into it!  There are tons of amateur photos out there that you can use!  And stop calling yourself honest or real if you want us to believe you.  Honest people and real people don't feel the need to qualify themselves as such.

If you're going to try to fool a dominant, for shits and grins, at least provide a worthy challenge, huh?  

5/21/2014 7:42:49 PM

What the heck is a "submissive side?"  Everyone is exploring their submissive side.  I know which is the left side, which is the right side; I know which is the front side and which is the back side.  I might see you on the flip side.  I'm familiar with inside and outside.  I know there's a right side and a wrong side.  

 

But what the heck is a submissive side and why does everyone need to explore it?  Why does anyone need a side that is submissive?  And what is the other side of you then?  Is that your dominant side?  Do you have to suppress that side in order to explore your submissive side?  And if you do, are you being true to yourself?  

 

I've come across some great subs who are assertive, intelligent, take-charge people.  But that's what they do--not who they are.  They don't have submissive sides.  They are submissives.  Being submissive doesn't mean you're a doormat.  It doesn't mean you are only that one thing alone, but it is the core of who you are--or want to be in a relationship.

 

So, all of these profiles that tell me, "i'm exploring my submissive side":  I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.  It must be something that collarme instructs all new submissives to write in their profiles.  

 

Now.  If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go explore my less grumpy side.  


5/18/2014 2:06:18 PM

Can someone explain to me what the heck a BBW is?  I understand what it's supposed to be--but it seems to me that we could really use about 20-40 more differentiations on the original concept.  

 

Big.  At what point does one stop being "curvy" and become big?  At what point does one stop being rubenesque and start being big? 

 

Beautiful.  As in, "we're all beautiful creatures?"  Who says?  Are we talking beauty on the inside or outside here?  And by whose standards?  I'm not trying to be insensitive but why is every big woman automatically beautiful these days?  There are plenty of ugly thin chicks on this site--and other places.  Since when does being big automatically make you beautiful too?  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is it not?  Some people adore and find great beauty in the form of a larger woman's body type and that's as it should be.  But why do "big" women feel the need to further qualify themselves as such?  Why are there no SBW's for Short Beautiful Women or TBW's for Tall Beautiful Women?  Why aren't there any CESTBW's for Cross-Eyed Snaggle-Toothed Beautiful Women?  There's someone out there for all of us and we're all beautiful in someone else's eyes but why is it only "Big" women feel the need to advertise that as part of their sub-category?

 

Women.  Well this one seems to be the only part of the BBW term that remains consistent and making good sense.  

 

Please understand, this isn't against the idea of larger women or women with curves or women--it's about this idea of the BBW category.  When you describe yourself to me as a BBW, I don't know what that means anymore.  In fact, all it does is tell me that you aren't petite or athletic.  Does BBW mean everything that isn't Barbie doll proportioned?  Then everyone is a BBW though!  

 

The term BBW has become too generic.  It doesn't convey anything to anyone--so why is used so prevalently?  What do you think you're telling a man when you describe yourself as a BBW?


5/2/2014 8:03:33 PM

It bothers me that the term "Daddy Dom," has become so prevalent on this site and in this lifestyle as a means of describing a dominant who isn't a complete asshole.  A Daddy Dom is a dominant who engages in Daddy/daughter role-play.  A dominant who cares for his girl, nurtures her, cares for her, cherishes her and builds her up is just a plain, regular, old-fashioned Dom and assholes are and always will be assholes.  

 

And, I get it.  The assholes are all over this site.  You want to do something in your profile to let them know that you aren't interested in them, but I think you only empower those idiots when surrender the title of Dom or Dominant to them and make any dominant man who isn't a misogynist, abusive prick switch designation to become a Daddy Dom.

 

Also, don't get me wrong, this isn't about using Daddy as a title.  I think it's amazing when a submissive woman calls her dominant, Daddy.  Using that title doesn't make him a Daddy Dom though--just as him calling you little one or baby girl doesn't make you a little. 

 

A Daddy Dom and his little are a D/s couple who engage in age play.  That's what a Daddy Dom is--not even a Dom with a particularly paternal manner is a Daddy Dom unless he's engaging in Daddy/daughter play.  

 

Yet, most who get to know me would describe me as a Daddy Dom.  I don't like that though.  I feel like if I let myself be described that way, I'm letting the assholes win.  I'm letting these guys who want a maid who gives blow jobs and has no opinions of her own claim the title that is rightfully mine.  

 

Just because this place doesn't have a lot of Dominant men who understand what this life is truly about; because it's filled with men who are weak and pathetic and need to demean others to feel better about themselves, who call themselves Masters and Lords and Kings although no one else ever would, it doesn't mean that those fools and flakes should get to steal the title Dom because of their sheer numbers.  

 

Don't give them that power.  Every day, these men aggravate you, they inundate your mailbox, they insult you, they talk down to you, they make you feel like you don't belong here if you don't immediately drop to your knees and kiss the ground they walk on, these aren't real Doms.  Yet you steal that name away from those of us who are and give it to them, forcing those of us who are real to call ourselves something that we are not?  

 

I saw a profile the other day that made me smile.  In it, the submissive woman said that she was looking for a Gentleman Dom.  I liked that.  It's a way of telling the assholes they need not apply without turning the real dominant into something he's not.  

 

I am a gentleman.  I am a Dom.  

 

I don't know?  Maybe you'll go change your own profile.  Maybe, since it's become such a misused term, you feel like you have to keep it the way it is or be misunderstood?  I won't hold it against you if your profile says you're looking for a Daddy Dom, but please don't ask me if I'm a Daddy Dom.  I'm not.  

 

I'm a Dom.  I am kind.  I nurture my girl.  I protect her.  I provide her with stability and discipline and structure.  I care for her.  I cherish her.  I punish her when she needs it and praise her when she deserves it.  I am her biggest fan.  I love it when she calls me Daddy. I'm not interested in changing her diaper though.  I don't want her to be my "little."  If you must label me as something other than a Dom, call me a Gentleman Dominant.  If it's all the same to you though, I say we stop letting the assholes run this place and not let them dictate who what qualifies them as being worthy of the name Dominant.


3/22/2014 9:33:09 AM

Attn:  Subs/slaves who post sexy/revealing pictures of themselves taken in rooms with crap all over the floor, on carpet that looks like it hasn't been vacuumed for years:  STOP IT!

 

You know who is attracted to girls in those pictures?  All the wannabe idiots you all complain about being inundated by on a daily basis.  When a real dominant man looks at that picture, he doesn't think, "What a sexy girl!"  He thinks, "What a fucking slob!  It's too bad she lives like a pig, because she's kind of cute."


Even if you need a dominant to structure your life in order to get you into a more domestic frame of mind, at least show that you put enough forethought into the picture you're using to, presumably, attract that dominant, by picking up the crumpled beer cans and dirty paper plates and dirty clothes all over the floor.  

 

Just push all the crap out of one tiny corner of the place and take your picture there.  Or, for fuck's sake, use the photo editing program that comes with every computer and crop the disgusting background out of the picture.  

 

Have a little pride, huh? 


12/3/2013 7:25:53 PM

"If you can't make her feel like your princess, you don't deserve to make her feel like your slut."  -anonymous


9/10/2013 12:12:08 PM

I just read the profile of a woman whose screen name was based on the beauty of her lips.  Her picture?  A clear picture of her face covering up the feature of which, apparently, she is most proud.  I don't like taking shots at people who are brave enough to post pictures of themselves, but that just makes zero sense to me.  


8/14/2013 12:00:24 PM

sadist:  [say-dist] (noun)- A dominant who has to resort to inflicting pain as a means of curing a submissive who makes duck lips in her profile pictures.  


8/2/2013 9:47:54 AM

I love this place!  It NEVER gets old when I sign on, see a new account that ends with a 2 or ISAFAKE and goes on to detail how the girl in their photo is not a real slave--and the girl in the photo is is a fairly famous porn star like Sasha Grey.

 

Thanks, buddy!  You saved the rest of us from making a horrible, horrible mistake!  We never would have realized that it wasn't really her.  Good luck finding the submissive of your dreams.  She'll be one lucky girl to have such an intelligent master!


7/2/2013 8:54:02 AM

Can someone please explain to me what this means?  "My Master wants to retire from the lifestyle."  I see that on so many profiles.  A lifestyle is the way you life your life.  How do you "retire" from that?  Is this an issue in the gay community as well?  Do you get to a certain age and just retire from being gay?  No?  Hmmmm.  So, why would a "master" want to retire from being who and what he is and stop being/doing what makes him happy?  

 

What I know is this:  Being a dominant in a D/s relationship is a responsibility and a real man doesn't ever come to a point where he brushes his hands together and says, "That's it.  I retire.  You can be someone else's problem now."

 

Either he's not a real dominant--or it's the profile of a fake.  

 


6/29/2013 9:01:41 AM

I like to look over the New Users when I log on to collarme.  I find it to be one of the more interesting parts of the site.  Sometimes you find people who have been here a long time reinventing themselves and trying a new strategy to find what's eluded them up until then. Sometimes you find fresh faces and people who need/want to learn more.  Lately though, all I seem to find are these profiles proclaiming this one or that one to be a FAKE!!!  

 

They make me laugh.  They truly do.  I find them to be endlessly entertaining and I hope collarme never stops them or regulates them because I'm not sure what I'd do without this entertainment.  These "dominants" who creating these profiles "so other dominants won't be fooled" usually use the same profile picture as the "submissive" who fooled them.  In almost every case, it's some airbrushed, perfectly lit, hit-you-over-the-head-its-so-fucking-obvious picture from a porn site.  

 

Gee, thanks, "mr. dominant!"  You just SAVED the rest of us from making the same mistake you did!  Or...ummm, maybe not.  Maybe we're smart enough to know a porn picture when we see one.  Maybe we don't get bitter about fakes because we aren't taken in by them on a daily basis.  Maybe, because we don't expect a submissive to call us Lord Master King of ALL THE slaves at the end of every sentence while we furiously tug at our cocks, feeling powerful for just ONE moment, so that instead, we can get to know these people who want to submit and by doing so, weeding out fakes becomes a very simple task.  My only regret is that these so-called "masters" don't tell us who they are when they call out the fakes.  I'd love to be able to go read their own profiles for even more laughs.  

 

Because as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing more funny than a weak, pathetic, foolish, stupid man who calls himself a master in order to feel some small semblance of power--even if it's just enough for the three pumps it takes them to make their keyboard sticky.  So, carry on "masters!"  You're not doing the public service you think you are--but you're endlessly amusing!

 


5/27/2013 3:54:54 PM

I've been here for a while now, but unfortunately, my account is acting up.  So, I will be switching to this one.  I was previously known as theinfiniteabyss.  From this point forward, I'll be using this account though.  

 


5/27/2013 3:52:33 PM

These are journal entries from my former account:

 

  _______________________________ 10/7/2012 10:07:42 AM: A good dominant needs a submissive to feel whole, not to feel powerful.

 

    _____________________________________________ 9/20/2011 6:56:56 PM: Ask not what you can do for your Dom, ask what He can do for you!   I find it kind of odd that so many on this site only talk about what they want.  “I want a slave who will cook, clean and give me 27 blowjobs a day!”  Okay, that doesn’t sound so bad, but every so-called dominant wants that, right?  What’s even more surprising to me is how few submissives seem to have thought through what they want/need from a dominant.  They know its something.  They know the way they feel with a dominant man but so few have thought through what exactly it is they get from a D/s relationship.   Crazy concept, huh?  A submissive GETTING something from a D/s relationship!  If you’re looking for abject slavery and inhumane treatment, this place is a veritable smorgasbord and finding a domineering man to abuse, mistreat and dehumanize you should be as easy as can be.  However, if you’re looking for something a bit more substantial then that then yes, a submissive should GET something from the relationship.  This life is so much more than the fetishes.  It’s, at it’s best, a symbiotic relationship.  A submissive looks to serve, to please and to obey and the dominant partner (yes, partner!) needs and craves and wants that from a woman.  But what does she get in return?  Many seek structure and stability.  Some want to be accountable.  Some want to lead a more disciplined life.  Some want safety.  Many want to be made to feel small in the very best of ways.  So many quote Marilyn Monroe in her famous statement about not wanting to be a leader.  They want to be a follower and want someone they can admire and respect to follow.   In this lifestyle so often we talk about what we’ll do in terms of sex and fetish and those are fun conversations to have.  In the greater scheme of things though, it’s important to think about what you want and if you don’t know, if you can’t state it when a dominant asks you, then how will he ever give you all you need as the balance to your service and submission?   Perhaps much of it just goes without saying?  It does.  A natural dominant man is the kind of person who has the traits that a natural submissive will bond to and appreciate and vice versa.  It just seems odd that we’re all so willing to talk about what parts we’re willing to put where and how we’ll use various toys and implements but those deeper, more meaningful conversations either don’t take place, or do only much later.  Considering the amount of trust this lifestyle requires, that may be it’s greatest paradox.       

 

_______________________________ 9/1/2011 3:26:03 PM: Have you thought about what you're seeking or are you just here hoping to be found?   If you say you want to surrender, have you thought about WHAT exactly you want to surrender?  Have you thought about what you don't want to surrender, but hope to have taken from you?  Do you know what you can't give up?     Are you participating in the process of finding what you want or are you just hoping it'll somehow just find you?           


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DommeKate
 
 Age: 27
 Varna, Bulgaria, Oregon