So, things have been progressing well with the Domme that I have been talking to. It looks great, and we are now planning on meeting next week everything goes well. I am so excited I can barely contain myself. 

 When she talks to me, she gives me those butterflies that tingle in your belly and when she turns the table on me, I find myself blushing and wondering how we will interact in person, will I find myself yearning to kneel before her, to whisper my submission into her ear, knowing that those words are what turns her on as much as me! So many ideals and so many questions. I guess only time will tell when she is before me, looking at me, seeing me for real. 

 I have found myself doing things that I would not normally do, just for her, I feel so comfortable when she talks to me, and yet, the one assignment she has given me I have yet to fulfill, what the hell is up with that? Maybe I am truly waiting until she is with me to complete it, to feel the burning in my cheeks, the rush in my belly while I am to complete this small task. She so loves when I blush or when I stammer on my words, or when I think very carefully before replying to a question she has asked me. I have so missed this metal interactions, I just hope that I will not disappoint her when we do finally meet. 

Well ....only time will tell .....but I do look forward to it! ;) 

good morning, 

Well its been a busy couple weeks. I have met this wonderful Domme not to far from me. We have been talking and getting to know each other. Its been awesome and she isn't far from me. I love talking to her and getting to know her. She seems real easy to talk to when I have a concern and she seems to settle my mind on the issue. Isn't that how its suppose to be when you meet someone that fits well with you in this lifestyle? I like how the relationship is progressing, the next step is to finally meet and see where things go. I am looking forward to the next level. 

On another note my son finally moved here I am so excited to have him here. I haven't seen him in almost a year, so he and I have a lot of catching up to do. Wow, how weird is it to ask your 2nd child if he wants an alcoholic beverage. At first I felt strange but he is 22 years old and it is okay to watch him drink. I guess that protective mother hen keeps peeking out and I have to keep stuffing it back in the box, trying to understand that he is an adult now. LOL!

Welp that about sums it up, besides work and my kids, and meeting someone that might fit well with me, my summer has started off on a good foot, I am looking forward to what happens next :) 

So here I am, I have an itching to get a new tattoo, but I want something more personal. I have been looking at BDSM symbols, and wanting it more visible, so that only people in the lifestyle will know the meaning behind it. Is that bad of me? *wicked grins* 

I have seen some wonderful work, but nothing has really caught my eye that I want to put on my body forever. I am taking suggestions! 

There is something so erotic to have someone walk up to me and look at my tat, look at me with a stern look and smile because they know exactly what it means and the concept behind it. Even the idea makes me wet just thinking about it. I know I am such a naughty girl! I really need to stop reading all these damn sub stories ...LOL! 

Speaking of which, time to finish the ending of my Book! :) 

Uhgg ....So there I was last night checking my email, replying to them and I get this one email, it stood out to me, something about the way it was wrote, the humor in his words. I had a drawing to just email him back and the next thing I know I was chatting with him back and forth, the emails was flooding my account. I found myself giggling and laughing with each email. So I finally moved the conversation over to yahoo, and the conversation picked right up where we left off. This man was funny, cute and very intelligent. we talked for hours and it was amazing. He wasn't trying to get into my pants, he wasn't trying to get me on webcam. We was holding the most delightful conversation, and even when it was time for bed and I had to leave, I found myself wanting to stay all night and chat with him. Its far and in between that you find someone that meshes with you so closely. Not that its impossible, and its not like I haven't had some wonderful conversations with people here on CM. There was just something so strong in our chat. SoooOOOooo why oh why.. does this man have live so far away!! Why cant I find someone locally that can make me feel the way I felt about him last night????? 

Omg lord its been forever since I have written anything. I have been reading a lot of BDSM books lately. They have reunited that fire that burns inside me. I seem so lost without my submission, like part of me is missing. Life seems to have away of drowning that in which you desire so much, and now I am left wondering how to retouch my world of desire passion and lust. I always felt so beautiful when I was on my knees serving someone. I felt sexy, like a woman! Its so hard to balance between being a mother, a co-worker and wife. Sometimes I wish my husband/Sir and I could find someone who can pull us from the rut of life, one that can rekindle that fire that burned between us when we first started exploring this life together. Its so hard to find someone that you can trust and feel safe asking question, exploring, teaching. It was so different when I was single, finding a Dominate wasn't as hard. I would just seek out someone that I could talk to on a mentality level and then the rest would fall into play. But now that I am in a relationship that is new (he is just discovering it and finding it a part of him and me  though I have been into the lifestyle I have not been a 24/7 sub)  so you see this is new to both of us. I am sure we will find our way, but in the mean time I am so eager and want to throw myself into my books and read more BDSM stories, it seems to make me most happiest, not to mention it finally makes me take a break from reality, to relax and enjoy my quiet time when I am reading so I guess this is where I need to be right now. 

Wow, I finally got the chance to meet up with someone in the lifestyle, it was so AWESOME! How I have missed just communicating on that level with another person since I have left home. The whole meeting went by so fast I could have stayed there and shared experiences and life stories with him, he was wonderful and I hope we get the chance to meet for coffee again. I also hope I get the chance to meet more fellow kinsters in the future. I finally know what I am missing, I am missing the D/s part of my life, guess its time to seek it out and stop hiding-all because I am a newbie to the area.