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Friends:
masterdeepflamespeach77mysticdragon22devpainFeloniousKisses
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I shouldnt have to put this but I will because Im sick of being asked. NO i AM NOT INTO ANIMALS. The tattoo on my chest has a completely different meaning. I think anything to do with animals is sick and disgusting and it is animal abuse. Thank you have a good day

I dont know what Im looking for anymore I wish I did but I dont im looking for more but to take my time with things





Just some facts about me. Im a mom who loves her kids more then life itself. Im feisty and I at times have an attitude. I find inteligence to be one of the sexiest qualities ever. I can be a little standoffish and cold at times. Thats only because Ive been hurt a few times so trusting people is not something I do easily. I love life and try to live each and every day to the fullest.



BDSM wise there isnt much I havent tried. I have a few things on my list that id like to try and a few things that Ill never try. Im pretty much a masochist. I love the feeling of pain the pure raw emotion that comes out. Being surrounded by pain and allowing it to absorb into my very being.



I tend to write alot. Some have even described me as a prolific writer. If you want to know anything please ask.



For better ot worse Im me. I cant be what others want me to be I can only be me. So if you expect me to fit in a little box I wont Ill sit on top of the box or color all over it but i wont fit in it. Now Im not saying I wont ever change but the overall person i feel should remain th e same.

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1/24/2018 6:22:20 AM
I finally feel free for the first time in two years. I am finally walking away from a situation that has resulted in me being deceived and used and made to feel that I’m just not good enough. I said good bye. This time I am completely done. I can’t be with someone who I don’t trust. I should be with someone who makes me happy and I committed to me and I to them. I am not going back this time. I won’t be a fool again or be hurt by him again. I finally realize I deserve better. If anything I feel stronger and more confident about myaelf and my worth. i am thankful for the lessons this has taught me. I’m not going to let one person ruin my future relationship though. I’m going to take ti before jumping into anything but I’m not going to assume that you’re like him or that I should not trust you. Can’t let the past drag you down. That email was difficult to write but I’m glad I did and I’m happy with my decision.

5/18/2015 11:08:53 AM
I think my eyes are starting to bleed. Having to look up and go through a bunch of information for the best friend so I can explain it to her because her mother needs to have some testing done is a bit frustrating. I don't mind doing  it. I love my bestie and I love her mother she's always been like a second mother to me but I have read and interpreted so much medical stuff its rediculous.  Sadly my list of productiveness did not get done today. It'll get done tomorrow. It happens and I don't think doing all the rest of the stuff on my list is good for me today especially running on an hour and a half of sleep. The good news its beautiful outside today so yayyy and I've some very interesting and wonderful conversations today. 

7/15/2014 5:23:44 AM
MY NAME IS NOT BABY LITTLE GIRL SLUT WHORE OR ANY NAME BESIDES AMY. I HATE PETNAMES UNLESS I KNOW YOU OR AM I OWNED BY YOU OR HEY IF I SIGN MY EMAIL DUMB TWAT OBVIOUSLY I DON'T MIND BEING CALLED IT BUT OTHERWISE MY NAME IS AMY

4/2/2013 9:13:18 PM

People need to learn to mind their own god damn business. It doesn't matter what I put on my profile it is my profile not yours. Just because you are a little dicked peice of shit does not mean you have any right to tell anyone what site I am or am not on. I'm not some little bitch you can fuck with seriously my name comes out of your fucking mouth again you better fucking watch yourself


12/31/2011 7:59:31 PM

Heres an interesting theory. Life is all about balance. Well my balance is I'm not drinking this weekend but next weekend I'll be pretty hammered while celebrating my birthday courtsey of my besty her fiance and a few close friends. I figure it'll average out to what I would have drinken both weekends anyways.

 

Hmmm now a good question.... I'll be 26 so I should get double my spankings right. So who's going to give me the 52 spankings. muahahahaha any volunteers


12/17/2011 7:54:53 AM

So I think this year will be extremely positive for me. I signed up for school and should be starting this May and getting my associates in nursing. I'm finally in a good head space and the changes I've been making over the past year have all helped. Hell I'm even starting the year with hair longer then its been in like 15 years.


7/25/2011 8:25:00 PM

One of the things that sucks about being a masochist is trying to find a person who is sadistic. Alot say they are but when it comes down to it they just like to abuse women. There is such a big difference between the two. Hopefully i can find someone who knows what the hell they're doing in a safe sane and consentual way.


7/3/2011 7:59:17 AM

To say the least this search has been frustrating. I have yet to give up hope though. I've had a few ups and downs in t he past 2 years. It's iinteresting though with everything I've gone through I've learned alot of important lessons. Just my musings for today


6/23/2011 2:37:18 PM

I've noticed something. Some dom's bitch about a sub haveing a laundry list of limits but they themselves have a laundry list as well. You have to be this and that and not this. I have a list of limits that aren't advertised but are talked about upfront. So question of the day is it hypocritical for a dom to bitch about a subs limit if they themselves have a long list as well.


5/17/2011 8:25:37 AM

if you send me random idiotic messages i will mock them on fl. You have been warned


4/28/2011 5:07:45 PM

In order to submit one must let there heart surrender. I know not everyone will believe in this and many will say I'm full of shit or else not a twue sub. *eye roll* However for me I need someone who makes my heart flutter and I need someone who I can let into my heart and not be afraid of getting hurt. What I want is so much more then just the kink just the control. I want a real relationships and I refuse to ever settle for less then I want. I want to be able to go to a movie go out to dinner go for a simple walk on the beach (although ohhhh at night its all quiet he can take me on a leash) but I want something more and I don't see anything wrong with that.  I don't think that I'm unique in this sense either I think alot of us want this. I don't want a vanilla relationship but what I want is the best of all worlds. I want to feel his guidance and his control but I also want to eventually fall in love. I want someone who is going to love me with the same passion th at I have for them. I want to kiss them and melt feel their arms wrapped around me when i'm having a bad day even if they can't be there. I want so much more. I also want to be spanked to high heaven but thats a different story. Ok done rambling for now.


4/26/2011 3:04:47 AM

ok new hard limit cock pictures as profile pictures. having them in the profile is fine but the first picture come on people. i am so not amused. if i wanted to see cock i'd go look at a fuucking chicken


12/31/2010 12:20:56 PM

Ok have to write another journal entry because this just bugs me. I fucking detest drama queens and drama kings. If you're going to take down your profile why make the announcement. Honestly I don't think that many people give a shit. Ok rant over.


12/31/2010 12:18:47 PM

Packers VS Bears. Go Pack Go. We need to win and get out asses into  the play offs. We're a good team who needs some work.  I wish t hat there was another week in the season though. I would have loved to have had a game to watch on my birthday. Happy new years eve everyone. Be safe if you have too much to drink please hand over the keys or catch a cab or take the bus (hell our's are running until 4 tonight). SO be safe and enjoy


12/28/2010 10:05:10 PM

Right now my head is spinning with thoughts. Trying to figure out exactly what I want and who I am. Trying to figure out my life. I think I'm going to start writing my more serious thoughts out and simplifying them. I think that may hellp


12/14/2010 9:58:20 AM

i just thought this quote was pretty

a true dominant man is like a gardener. A true submissive delight is as a flower. A true Gardener will do all to make His flower bloom time after time.....asw her scent is His reward .


12/12/2010 7:47:42 PM
I don't want someone else to pick up th e peices. I've never been one who wants that. Instead I want someone who is t he glue who helps me hold it together after all is sad an done. I have a good happy life. I've had some heartache but I've decided its not going to hold me back any. I'm excited about the future and what will happen or could happen. I have great friends amazing children. I have alo of good qualities and I need someone who appreciates those qualities. Also life is looking like it's going to start getting better anyways. Filled out the aps for school in the fall just need to get things together. SO heres to t he future

12/12/2010 6:45:15 PM
Here is what's sad. I'm not sure if I'm more tired at the end of the weekend away from the kids or the begining.

12/9/2010 12:29:06 PM
I will never consider myself worthless. I don't feel that one should ever feel worthless about themselves. Why would someone want a worthless submissive anyways. Don't you want someone who is proud of themselves and someone who you can be proud of. Just a thought for the day.

10/26/2010 12:11:51 PM

hahaha they say chicago is the windy city i think not have you been to wisconsin. damn its nasty out.


10/16/2010 10:33:31 PM

Forced to face my fears
To step blindly in my faith
Where he will lead me

step by step.

My hand in his as he leads me on

I follow behind

and he guides me thorugh

Knowing

trusting

beleiving

that with every step

he'll be right there

when its  tough

and i want to quit

you pull me up

and make me whole

you give me strength when i have so little left

You give me this journey

To earn more then I'd ever thought

To call you Master

To be you collared slave

to be yours completely mind body heart and soul

I want to give my all to you

Just lead me and teach me and show me

How I can be the best slave for you


10/16/2010 10:09:35 PM
found this on someones journal had to post it yeahhh he shouldnt have posted it i may do one or two of these things now
1. Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry the vein above His right eye throbs.
2. "Quit it!", "Ow, dammit!", "I'm hiding that toy when You go to work tomorrow", and cursing a blue streak are not safe words.
3. "Oh my God, where did You get those, they are gorgeous!!!" is not considered boot worship.
4. "Ya want fries with that?", and "Want me to drink it for You too?" are not appropriate remarks when Master gives you an elaborate drink order.
5. Flipping your Dominant off while your hands are cuffed behind your back is a bad idea. Masters have ways of knowing these things.
6. Putting lube, goop, Super-glue, ink or any other substance that will sully the hands of Master on His toys while setting up for a session is not a good idea.
7. Kicking that toy you hate far under the bed is futile. Master will only secure your wrist-cuffs to your ankle-cuffs and make you crawl for it... repeatedly.
8. "Bite me!" is never an intelligent response to a command.
9. Doing your Beavis and Butthead imitation of "Fire, fire, fire, fire!" during Master's lecture on fire-play safety is considered rude.

10. Responding with "Yes, all Wise, all knowing Grand Imperial Weenie" is not appropriate when Master asks you if you are comfortable during a bondage scene.
11. Asking to go to the bathroom every five minutes while Master practices His Japanese rope work on you will try His patience....quickly.
12. Crossing your eyes and sticking your tongue out while your Dominant is discussing your punishment is not wise.
13. There is no such thing as slave immunity, free slave day, or the pms defense. The slave jury might not convict you, but the Dom judge will override the verdict. Count on it.
14. Pretending Master's collection of butt-plugs are toys and singing the "Weebles wobble but they won't fall down" song is not a good idea.

 
15. Repeatedly blowing out each candle Master lights during wax play will get you punished.
16. Checking Master's head for the 666 symbol after a harsh punishment will only get you more of the same, or worse.
17. "I know You are but what am I?" is not the appropriate response when called a raunchy little whore during humiliation play.
18. Using the spreader bars, paddles or canes for the fireplace is not a good plan.
19. "Missed me, missed me, now Ya gotta kiss me" is an unacceptable remark when Master's flogger slips.
20. When Master pulls out His bull-whip and says He wants to play, He doesn't mean hide-and-seek... He will find you eventually.

21. Calling Merry Maids when you are ordered to spruce the place up is not what your Dominant had in mind.
22. "Faster, faster, we need a new Master" is NOT the song to sing during a session.
23. "Oh, and You think I am?" is an unacceptable response to hearing your Dominant say He is not pleased.
24. During a play party is not the time to do your hilarious imitation of Igor and hunch over moaning "Yes, Marster" when ordered to fetch something.
25. Adding "Sir" or "Master" to "Fuck that plan!" will not save you.

26. Singing the chorus of "Anything You Can Do, i Can Do Better" under your breath during a session is considered foolhardy.
27. Arguing whether "Master might not be right, but Master is never wrong" as Zen or Buddhist philosophy will only get you rewarded with kneeling in the corner on a bed of Legos "to help you consider the question in quiet contemplation."
28. Reciting nursery rhymes during an interrogation scene to crack your Owner up only lasts for so long. Then you will pay BIG.
29. Asking "Is that as HARD as You can hit??" is considered a cry for help amongst submissive suicide prevention workers.

10/13/2010 11:10:46 AM
Yayyy ok my mom rocks. Normally I hate pink i detest the color but I asked her for a pink breast cancer shirt so sh e got me that and a pen. Sooo yayyyy/ support the boobies

5/30/2010 1:35:37 PM
I don't want the world
Even if you could give it to me
I don't want
the stars and the moon
and the sun in the sky
What I want
What I need
is so much more then that
I need your guidance
I need to know
that when I start to fall
You'll be there to catch me
I want you in my life
Even when I try
to push you out
All I ask
all I need
is the chance to prove
what this means to me

5/9/2010 11:26:48 PM
Hey finally a nigerian who doesnt weigh 52lbs instead she weighs..... 64 lbs wow a miricle lol

5/9/2010 5:52:09 AM
Happy Mothers day to all the mom's out th ere

5/5/2010 9:17:04 AM
So far my new job is tolerable. I never thought I'd be doing telemarketing again. I now have a greater appreciation for fridays and mondays suck lol

4/19/2010 8:29:34 AM

I will never fear you
I will only fear your disappointment in me
I will be honest
I will give you all of me
Heart
mind
body and soul
I will respect you
And I will always remember my place
All I want for that
is the chance to serve
to be your's
to be your slave


4/16/2010 12:18:16 AM
new tatto picture posted

4/14/2010 11:36:49 AM
Three more days and I get my new tattoo. I'll post pictures prolly by sunday yayyyyyy

4/4/2010 11:52:10 AM
Happy Easter everyone. Only good thing about it is the chocolate covered marshmellow eggs and the black jelly beans. I'm not big on the holiday.  I don't have my kiddos this year for them. Which kinda depressed me. This being my son's first easter. But I have him and my daughter on the same holiday schedules. The good news is I have him on his birthday. I told his dad I don't care what you or anyone else says mother's day is MY day.I get him. Its tradition me my mom my neice my daughter and now him we all go to the zoo. But it is still nice to have a quiet day today. And yayyy happy news I start a new job tommorow.

3/30/2010 1:56:57 PM
Yayyy its springtime. I'm debating whether I'm happy about this or not. I don't like getting a tan because I like the paleness of my skin but the weather is warmer and I can get the kids outside. Plus I like flowers

3/27/2010 9:33:06 PM
This is just something I randomly wrote tonight

I kneel before you
and offer my heart
I offer my soul
I offer my body
I offer my mind
I give you all of me
Its yours for the taking
To do with
as you please
To lead
down this path
I'll follow behind
With absolute trust
Never doubting
Never questions
Knowing
Believe
Trusting
You'll keep me safe
I am yours
I am your slave

3/22/2010 3:57:01 PM
You only ever grow as a human being if you're outside your comfort zone."
This was a quote I saw on someones profile so I'm borrowing it. I completely agree with it. As a slave doing things outside of what the norm or my comfort zone is has taught me alot of has helped me grow. In life this holds true as well. If you spend your life not daring to do this or that how will you ever grow. How will you ever know what kind of person you can be. Just a thought

3/21/2010 6:35:44 PM
I just had another humorous thought. So I've had to change my profile a few times in the last few months. Because well my limits are becoming fewer and fewer. Example Ijust changed it to I tolerate needle play. We just did it yesterday nothing extreme butstill we did it. I tolerate it because it what he wishes and I want to make him happy

3/21/2010 3:10:27 PM
I find it hilarious that someone just called me a fake. Ok there is nothing fake on me. Fine maybe I have a few filling but other then that. If i were a fake I would put up a much much much better looking picture of some really really hot chick. But what you see is what you get. God people annoy me

3/14/2010 9:18:19 PM
I'm giggling because someone asked me what my hard limits were. Well they're pretty standard hard limits. No scat no kids no blood no permanent marks no animals no dead bodies and no lima beans or peas ickkk. lol
well I added another hard limit and shallow or not men who when they take off their shirts you have to resist the urge to tell them to take off their sweater. Now I don't mind body hair. Sir has body hair big deal I like it. He has a nice amount. But then again I think he just looks yummy without a shirt on. His tone body his very nice body his um oh wait sorry got distracted for a minute. Sorry I'm a slut what can I say especially when it comes to him. ANywho back on topic... Ok basic rule men if a woman can braid your body hair chances are it is too long. Simple as that. Well atleast for me.

3/10/2010 4:29:54 PM
I was doing some thinking today and the thought of punishment came up. I was reflecting on what punishment means to me and how it affects thing. Now I know everyone has their own form of it but for me and my owner he punishes me when I've done something wrong. He does NOT punish just to punish or to correct something I may do in the future. Now truthfully I've been punished alot. Various things and various degrees of severity. However looking back I realize I've learned so much from the punishments but also it gives me something. Its give me a sense of peace knowing what I've done has been forgiven and while it can't be taken away the scales have been balanced. I guess to quote Sir and I'm just paraphrasing here but he has said "I could tell you the mistake is erased but you wouldn't feel its erased" and he's correct. He's also told me its a privlage and hes right about that too. He allows me to balance the scales. In my mind I've done something wrong or bad and something bad must happen to me and he provides that. Its a wonderful feeling. But also it allows me an emotional release. Now granted I can still get an emotional release through pain play but when I do something wrong it allows me to reflect on it and focus on how to correct the behavior. Its taken alot for me to get to the point where I'm able to really cry and let go of everything held inside. Although I am trying to turn over a new leaf and be a good girl and a good slave. Not only for him but for myself. Knowing he thinks I'm a good girl gives me a feeling of bliss and allows me to push myself to new levels. Whereas when I've been punished I may not be able to focus on pushing myself to the new levels but instead I'm focusing on what I've learned from the mistake. I thank you Sir for the guidance and correction and punishment you give me. It truly does help make me a better person/slave.

2/22/2010 6:58:58 PM
Ok time to rant because I'm annoyed. I have it stated on my profile that I am owned. You would think that would detract people from messaging me asking to be their slave or sub.  I have no intention of leaving my owner I am very happy and very much falling in love with this incredible man. It is simple respect people I am so sick of these so called diminants not respecting my relationship. Yes I hate a profile big fuckin deal its a free fuckin country for one and for two I have friends on this site who I still speak to. I know several others subs/slaves who have this happen to them as well. Some idiot will say I read your profile yada yada yada and then either ask very inappropraite questions or try and convince them to to be their slaves. I know this journal entry isn't going to stop any of this but its just my thought. READ IDIOTS ITS VERY SIMPLE IF SOMEONE IS OWNED DON'T TRY AND CONVINCE THEM TO BE YOUR SUB/SLAVE ITS DISRESPECTFUL AND MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. ok end rant

2/18/2010 10:25:31 PM
Ok english lesson time. I have seen this on too many damn profiles. People it's I'm looking for a dominant male/female/cat whatever. To dominate is an act and Dominant is the person themselves. sheesh simple english people

2/18/2010 5:57:29 PM
This is something that my friend muse wrote and it has caused me to reflect upon my own submission
 Oddly enough, you never see anyone put "I want to submit partially..." Yet, it seems that most of you folks do want. Listen, if you are wanting to submit fully, be the best "you" you can be. Show devotion and respect. Learn from your mistakes. These things will bring about a submission I would describe as full. Submitting fully is less about sex and more about connection. Less about you and more about the one you want to submit to. Lose your sense of entitlement. Work and strive toward being the best "you." And try to be happy!  No one likes a whiny butt!

In a recent discussion w/ my Sir we discussed commitment. One of the things he told me when he accepted me into slavery is that he REQUIRED 100% commitment and that he would not tolerate a part time slave. He helped me realize I wasn't committing fully. That has been changing and I am now fully committed to be his slave. I definately learned from the mistake I made and it will NOT be repeated. But I have to agree with muse on what she said.  When I first got into the lifestyle I thought of it in more of a sexual manner but that thinking quickly changed when I realized that my heart and soul and every inch of me wanted to serve and wanted to be a slave. I'm working on being the best me and being the best slave I can be but not just for him but also for myself. The feeling of contentment that is gives me. Regardless of the occasional problems me and my Sir have I am happy in the relationship. I'm not here to judge anyone or to pass judgement however I do see alot of people putting half assed efforts into their service. So muse is right be the best you and give 100%

2/16/2010 2:11:15 PM
This is just something random that I wrote

Her heart aches for him
For his power his control
his guidance
She longs to surrender to him
To give him all
and everything
To show him who she really is
One step at a time
One word at a time
She slowly opens
herself up to him
Not sure how
or even why
But she longs to go beyond
anything she has felt before
She longs for him to see her
Not the her that others see
But the her beneath the layers
The one who wants to let go
and allow herself to feel
The side that's not afraid
who is willing to show
the fears
the tears
the desire
she wants to show him her


1/28/2010 7:06:21 PM

Once again I'm left thinking about mistakes. How one event one decision one choice can change things. I made a choice and decided to do something stupid and I put slavery aside for that moment. I ended up telling my owner and its being dealt with. I'm in alot of hot water and my ass is going to be in pain for awhile because I'm going to be punished over the course of a few weeks. I have realized something I need to always be a slave and put 100% into it. I can't just stop being a slave when I want to do something. Right now I'm focusing on being a goodgirl not only for him but for me as well. I hate making mistakes I tend to be a perfectionist. I realize I need to set my standards as high as my owners are which means lowering my expectations for myself because mine are almost unreachable. I mean I'm happy and proud to be His slave. But I've realized I need to make a change and that change is putting forth the effort to be the best and knowing that in life you are either committed to something fully and completely or not at all. I'm glad he is giving me the chance to prove my dedication and I'm also thankful for the punishment that goes along with this mistake. My guilt is dieing down a little bit but I know its going to be awhile before it is completely gone. That in itself isnt a bad thing because the guilt and the punishment are going to help me change and fix my behavior. Thank you my amazing owner for allowing me to prove my dedication and also giving me another chance


1/23/2010 9:46:28 AM
So I must write about a recent actiivity that happened. A now former hard limit of mine was fire play. I had quite the emotional reaction to it. I was blindfolded face down ass up position and while I was aware of what we were doing I was focusing more on my breathing and trying not to think about it because I could feel myself starting to panic. When we were finished he told me what it was. And alot of emotion starting pouring out of me. I was crying and shaking for a little bit. The wonderful thing about my owner is that he knows how to get me to refocus.So he comforted me and held me for a bit and we moved on. See the emotional reaction was caused because one of my greatest fears is being burned alive. He was not aware of that but I am damn glad he didn't tell me we were going to do it before hand because I think I would have panicked. What's odd is having had some time tothink about it it is something I would want to do again. Because I do trust him completely and I know he is in control. We had some new activities yesterday some I won't mention however we did get to do one that I've been begging and asking about for weeks we did knife play. (Yup still alive and have no cuts on me) I know people have different forms of knife play. The form we did mainly used the blunt end of the knife although he did use the tip of it and was running it along my body. The eroticness of that was amazing. Honestly after yesterday I feel closer to him then I have before. Yeah cumming while blindfolded with a knife at your throat lots and lots of fun. The mind fuck of it is that while yeah he had the "safe" end at my throat I didn't completely realize that so the power behind that orgasm and trying to stay very still while cumming made it soo much better. I'm beginging to truely learn this isn't just about pain. Its the mental the physical the emotional everything makes our relationship what it is.I am so proud to be his slave and his property and his slut too. Our relationship still baffles me at times but I couldn't imagine being happier. Thank you my wonderful owner

1/13/2010 11:38:18 AM
Sometimes ok alot of the time I question myself. I struggle with alot of insecurites. If I'm good enough if I'll meet not only his but my expectations. What I'm if setting myself up to fail. I try hard to be the best at everything. I tend to like to perfect the already perfect I'm stubborn I tend to push others away and I'm scared of my own feelings. Yet i've found someone who is more stubborn then me. Who when I push he pulls me back he seems more stubborn then me and he doesn't make me feel like I'm an idiot for being scared. He guides me through my problems and has an open heart. So why the hell am I pushing him away like I do.Something just clicked in my brain today part of the reason I get into so much trouble is because its me trying to push him away. I don't even know why I do it. Maybe its because I'd rather push him away before he has the chance to hurt me. I do trust him fully and completely but its so fuckin hard to let my guard down and to let him see the me underneath all the layers. We've come a long way in the past few months and I know I've opened up to him alot but I'm still scared of that what ifs.

12/28/2009 2:39:03 PM
I just had a thought come to mind. You know how in vanilla relationships you fuck up your argue you have make up sex and you move on. I make a mistake and we discuss it he tells me what punishment I'm recieving and normally I leave with a few new marks. God I fricken love it. I mean yes it some ways vanilla relationships can be easier but is easier always better. Now I'm not passing judgement on people who are in a non D/s or M/s relationship I'm just saying for me personally now that I know what I want and what I truely desire I don't know if I could ever have the typical again. I personally thing I'd be bored and I'd end up unhappy because I need the structure the discipline the joy of being owned that being a slave gives me

12/14/2009 9:54:07 AM
You know I am sometimes left with a feeling of do things that are meant to bring people closer together do the opposite of that. I'm just wondering if I'm the only one who has that feeling.

12/13/2009 10:24:00 AM

I've been thinking lately doing much much thinking. I've come to a few conclusion. One that I'm lucky for everything I have right now. I have great kids wonderful friends a roof over my heart and an incredible owner. Who treats me with respect is paitient understanding and very pleasing to look at. I've spent alot of time in the last few years feeling sorry for myself and I realize it was a waste of time. I've realized that life is going to have its ups and downs and is never going to be perfect but life is what you make of it and you can either deal with the bad things and appreciate the good or you can spend your life miserible. I personally don't want to be miserible. The other conclusion I've reached is I have alot of fears and old demons that I need to get rid of. I recently had a few old demons and fears pointed out to me and I want those gone. I want to be able to get over my past and be happy with my future. So I'm going to be working very hard on that now. Ok my rambling is done


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toy4pleasure38
 
 Age: 21
 Ottawa, Canada