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xxbeautifulxliexx
Hetero Female, 41, Nebraska 
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xxbeautifulxliexx

Vanilla me:

I'm a SAHM & wife and yes, my husband is fully aware of my disposition & search. He considers himself to be a sadistic top vs a dominant and we have no desire to have a power exchange relationship, at any rate. Most of my days are spent organizing our lives into some semblance of order & trying to make sure everyone is where they need to be when they're supposed to be there. I'm forever cleaning up messes & trying to figure out where the hell the remote went.

I'm loud, sarcastic as hell, cuss way too much, & I tend to come off as the least submissive person in the room. I'm about as subtle as a jackhammer, but I’m also funny on occasion. I’m impatient, an attention whore from hell, & have zero tolerance for small talk or bullshit. If you get to know me you'll also discover I'm loyal to a fault, genuine, protective, devoted, & always happy to act as your biggest cheerleader...or skip along beside you with a baseball bat & a shovel...I'm flexible like that.

I love learning, laughing, & great conversation. I can be moody, hyper, quiet, reserved, outspoken, & a complete pain in the ass. I love movies but have almost no patience to watch them. I love music, but no longer follow artists or even listen to it much. I love writing erotica & reading raunchy novels (the more trigger warnings, the better) & finally, I prefer personal connection to digital & I think letter writing is a lost art.

Kinky me:

I consider myself to be a highly devoted, service-oriented submissive with a tendency towards being a bratty middle. I'm gonna roll my eyes & talk back...probably. Maybe - the point is, the possibility is definitely there & you should be prepared for it.

I've been around the lifestyle for decades & I've had the opportunity to see & experience a great deal. I'm open minded and able to communicate my needs and wants and expect the same.

Who I'm searching for:

A dominant male who is focused on control vs the physical gymnastics often associated with the lifestyle & who seeks service outside of sex & enjoys creating opportunities for that service.

I'm looking for someone within my age range - 37 to 53. I'm ultimately searching for as close to a 24/7 TPE as I can find given I've got 3 kids & a husband. Someone close enough that I can see at least a few times a month & outside of those in person sessions is okay with a lot of text messages & phone calls. 

3/12/2024 4:50:59 PM: I used to love whoring and slutting around. There wasn’t anything quite as fun as finding a new cock to play with – I was always thrilled at how fast I could get a guy hard and how hard I could make him cum with my mouth or my cunt. Fucking was the only time I felt genuinely confident in my 20’s. A lot of that came down to Kevin. I belonged to Kevin (on and off) for over a decade. He was my first D/s relationship, and his primary focus and kink was whoring me out. He loved having me be an absolute filthy fucking slut for him, and the confidence and power I felt in that role over time was incredible. Through him, I learned how much power a woman could have in herself by submitting to her own sexual desires. It wasn’t just that Kevin loved having me be a whore (as much as I wanted to think that was my sole purpose at the time), I fucking loved sex and I loved the attention and desire I felt from men in those moments. I loved the strength and confidence I gained from their desire; it was a strength that lasted a lot longer than the encounter did, that’s for damn sure. I didn’t need their reassurance or their attention after. I didn’t need them after, period. I got my reassurance from Kevin. His praise and enthusiasm for my behavior reinforced the strength that I gained and reinforced my confidence in my skills. I didn’t have shit for confidence walking down the street or walking into a party to be around strangers, but the second I was presented with a hard cock, it was Game. Fucking. On. THAT I knew I could handle with perfect confidence, grace and skill. And I fucking relished every moan, groan, sigh, gasp, and trembling muscle from the man I was with. In my 20’s, I was somewhere around 340-375lbs. I didn’t really get on a scale very often, so I honestly don’t know how much I actually weighed. What I do know, is that it was Kevin who taught me that my size didn’t preclude me from being desirable. When I moved to “the big city”, I had the opportunity for basically unlimited male attention, which was a first for me, having grown up in the middle of nowhere Nebraska. Kevin encouraged this exploration, but also gave me very distinct rules and boundaries (he’d more than learned by that time that I had no idea how to establish, let alone maintain, my own boundaries). He made me go to Planned Parenthood to get my birth control shot. He “gave me permission” to tell guys to fuck off if they didn’t want to use protection for sex; I could ‘blame my Owner’ if they were at all hesitant. Having all this attention from all these different guys, never having to go more than a few days without sex if I didn’t want to, god – it was fucking incredible! And in the background, was Kevin, telling me what a fantastic little whore I was. When it came to being with Kevin, it was an even bigger reassurance. He told me once, during a moment of extreme insecurity, “I don’t give a shit what you look like, Lisa. What I care about is control.” I knew I could give him that better than anyone, the question was, did he actually mean it? The short answer is, abso-fucking-lutely. When my stunning beauty of a roommate (who’d played with Kevin over the phone and online multiple times) joined us one night, I figured it was going to be game over for us. She was a knock-out compared to me and way better at everything sexual than I could ever dream of being. He was choking her with his dick and she freaked because he wouldn’t let her control the pace or how far down her throat his cock went. She jumped up and took off out of the room to go smoke a bowl and calm down and he called me over. Despite her naked self standing mere feet from him, perky ass and tits on full display, he was totally soft. The second I put his dick in my mouth and let him choke me to his hearts content, he was rock hard and having the time of his life. She eventually came back to the kitchen table where he was sitting while I sucked him off, and I remember feeling an unbelievable surge of pride as he praised me, telling me what a good girl I was, how much he loved choking me and making me cry, how pretty my tears were. And when he finally came in my mouth, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that for some men…it really is all about control. And I was officially hooked. That was all I wanted from that moment on, and to a large extent, it’s still all I want. Especially when it comes to any type of D/s dynamic. I don’t fucking care about the sex, whips or chains…I want the man who gets rock hard simply because I love to obey, to give up as much control as possible. I want the guy who gets off leaving me a list of chores to do in the morning and is way more turned on by me having completed the whole list plus some, then having to “punish me” because I failed to do those tasks. I want the guy who’s dick goes soft because a girl tells him ‘no’ (and he would never dream of pushing her beyond that ‘no’), but he gets hard as steel, instantly, because where someone else says ‘no’, I say ‘yes please and thank you’. I don’t need gymnastics and props…they can’t do anything nearly as good as a hand in my hair and a deep voice whispering in my ear.

4/14/2023 8:33:54 AM: Oh my god!! I need someone to take away all my snacks, force me out of bed at 5am to workout, keep me on task with my daily chores, make me drink water, and enforce a decent bed time!! You think I'm kidding, but I'm 100% serious. I just wish it was as easy to do as the above request makes it seem. Le sigh.

4/12/2023 6:14:09 PM: For all those asking - yes. My husband is well aware that I'm looking for a dominant & is not only supportive of my search, but encouraging as well. He knows I'm a much better wife and mom when I'm able to fully express my submission. We do not have any form of dynamic and have no interest in creating one together...our marriage is extremely equal and we have no desire to change that. He is into BDSM and identifies as a sadistic top, but has no desire to have any kind of a dynamic with anyone outside of a scene. We've had an open marriage for several years and it works well for us.

4/2/2023 7:54:23 AM: You should be very careful throwing around terms like 'true Dom/Master/sub/slave' or 'real Dom/Master/sub/slave'. What is real and true to me isn't necessarily what's real and true to someone else. A lot of times people throw out those terms and what they really mean is 'someone who thinks exactly like me' or 'someone who practices BDSM just like I do'. Other times they mean 'you have to agree with everything I say, believe and do, or you're not a 'real' Dom/sub/Master/slave'. As far as I'm concerned, if you're willing to learn from others (regardless of which side of the slash they live on), you're kind, accepting, practice as safely as possible within you and your partners limits, you're respectful of others even if they have differing opinions/practices or beliefs, then you're as 'real' and 'true' as can be. I may not agree with you...I may not even want to spend time with you or associate with you, but I certainly won't malign you as being 'fake'.

3/21/2023 12:00:57 PM: Please note: * I will not give out contact information unless I feel comfortable and we've interacted extensively via this platform. * I will not respond to single word or one line messages * I'm not a fan of small talk and won't engage in it * If it's obvious you've not bothered to read my profile or journals, or if your message is rude or lacking common curtesy and decency, I will respond with whatever level of sarcasm and snark I deem appropriate (if at all) * If you send me a message depicting illicit fantasies, are rude, or send one of those aforementioned one-liners, you're giving blanket consent to me turning the reading of said message into a parody video and posting it to any social media platform I utilize. * No dick pics...I've seen more cock than a prostitute and while I realize you're very attached to and proud of your personal cock, I won't be impressed...though I will more than likely show that picture in the video I make reading your message for the entertainment of the internet.

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lushnlovely
 
 Age: 25
 Akure, Nigeria