07/2016

There are traits that must be present in anyone that i am in a relationship with.  Trust, honesty, loyalty, compassion.  To me, those are not just words - they are an honorable way of life.

As the world is never static, so is my life.  Many things have come and gone, some for the better, some for the worse.  It is how we react to those things that matter.  I am still searching for the One to control me, the One to bring my slave to the forefront.  The One who will know how much leash to give me - before yanking on it and bringing me back to His feet.  Are you up for the challenge?

I am a complicated creature, and i am feeling like there is no one man out there who will ever be able to control all of me, to feed all sides of me, to want all sides of me.  I yearn to find that person whom i can kneel in front of, and give myself completely to, knowing that while He may use me for His will, that He at the same time will not break my spirit, that He will not damage me.  That He gives back to me so i can continue giving to Him.

    I am discouraged and frustrated beyond belief.  There are too many wannabes and fakes out there.  They say the right things and get your hopes up, just to be found out later down the road that they have no interest in living D/s.  To them, it is just a hobby or a game.  Then there are the ones who string you along, and when you finally stop believing in them, it all gets twisted around to being your fault.  Does anyone know how to speak the truth anymore?

    I am 100% real.  I am a submissive, a lil girl, a brat, and a primal all bundled up inside one skin.  I guess that is too much for any one person to handle, so i do without.  The longer i do without, the less that i want it.  The need is there - it will always be there, but i can bury it again and once again, live without it.

What or who am i looking for?  I want a Daddy Dom.  A Daddy who will allow his lil girl to be fun and mischievous and ridiculously silly.  But this Daddy must also know when to make His lil girl behave, and to make appropriate corrections as necessary. 

I am really looking for someone local.  Someone who can hold me during thunderstorms.  Someone who can wipe away my tears when i am hurt.  Someone who can kiss my forehead and tell me what a special lil girl i am to him. 

Please don't get me wrong, i am not a lil girl 24/7 .  I am a submissive who is learning about her lil girl, who is trying to embrace her and balance her with being a submissive.  If the lil girl wants to come out, and it is not appropriate, most of the time i can hold her back.  It's funny that i can hold her back, but i have a hard time bringing her out.  So right now it's a learning process. 

So Daddy, will you be my teacher and help my lil girl and me learn?

Update 06-07-11

So, i had found someone, a friend, whom i shared many intimate things with and discovered more of myself.  We are no longer friends due to many reasons, but for what i found out about myself i will always be grateful to him. 

I am bratty and sassy, but that is because at times i am a little girl.  My little age is around 9, and she likes to be playful and have lots of fun.  When she comes out of hiding, my voice changes, my demeanor changes, my attitude changes, even my speaking changes.  You can definatley see that she has come out.  Sometimes people point it out to me before i even recognize it.  She came out a few months back at a local munch, and the whole room went quiet because they were surprised.  Heck, i was surprised!  It was the first time that any of them had seen this side of me and they didn't know what to do or say.  She doesn't come out often, even though i would like to find someone who could encourage her to.

2010

I am recently single and am taking time for myself. I am in the process of discovering who i really am. I need to be comfortable in my own skin.  Learning to let go, without worrying what others think, is one thing i am working on now.  I believe i might have a bit of a switch streak in me, but for the most part i am submissive.

I am not looking to become someones submissive at this time.  As i said, i am taking time for myself.