11/2/2016 10:59:02 PM: It's pulling just under the surface, clawing it's way out. It's been buried 6 feet under, held at bay by my minds clout. I'm hiding the truth behind my facade, but it can be seen in my eyes. There's no fire behind them, it's flames burned too bright. My minds eye can't see the horizion, only endless rolling night. Love is the deception that creeps into my heart whispering it's sweet lie. Hope is the nightmare that plagues me, telling my heart it can fly. Anger is a quick fix, dangling a carrot, seething with emotions that fade like vapor. Sadness is the betrayer, quick to conjure but quicker to taper. Truth is the suit that I tailor to my needs, wearing whatever fits. Lies are the comfort food I surround myself with, savoring each bit. Blood is only a crimson image that makes me believe there's something inside. Tears streak from a hollow mask, excess water to make you think I cried. If you were to listen closely you'd hear that I'm not breathing. Apathy has become my existence, a life long past it's shelf life, fleeting. Tell me how an unemotional husk can have a heart that's still beating? Lie to me and tell me that you can save me from the nothing. Deceive yourself into believing that making me submit to You will mean something. Whisper hot air that by bowing to you, I will fill this void, lifted by your wings. Put on the suit of your position, wear it with authority and command me to sing. I've defied Gods, played with the Devils fire, I fear not mortals wrath. I'm the gambler, betting that if we push ourselves to the edge, I will feel a flicker in the aftermath.

3/18/2016 5:07:41 AM: Nose diving through every misconception of life as it flashes before unflinching eyes. Downward spiraling, the ground racing towards me as I attempt to fly. Crashing through every dream, I reach out trying in vain to grab hold, but they're like clouds with no substance with little to cling to. Free falling as life flies back at breakneck speed, I'm already a fading memory, will I crash and burn or pull through? The great divide, an endless chasm of frustration, a testimony to the power of the human spirit, or to my stupidity. All that's left is myself when there's nothing left to believe in. So either I will learn to fly, break through or bleed out, legt with only my humility. Tail spinning I grin, is it madness? The plane comes to life, but I ignore the comforts of familiar skies, I want to punch a hole through that wall. Kamikaze, no turning back, what is the point of living when you barely have a pulse? I see the whole of my existence as I near the end of my fall. Normalcy has never suited me. I realize those dreams were a cage that held me to the complacency of nine to five. What lies beneath my surface screams to break through to the unknown, not to live just to thrive. Keep your material world, your safety nets, label me fallen, I won't change for anyone, the mundane isn't for me. Reentry may burn me up, solitude may be my legacy, and maybe I only have myself to lose, but the other side of the horizon is all these eyes see. Defiant I plummet towards reality's harsh embrace. Elation and fear wash over me, I have a wall to face.

2/10/2016 12:40:30 AM: It's been so long, do you even recognize the sheep hiding in wolf's clothing? The wide-eyed innocence of my youth replaced with pessimistic cynicism and loathing? Can you see me? All my dreams replaced by broken glass? Fragile is the dreamer. Even the light in my eyes has dimmed from straining them for so long for a redeemer. My once-youthful face now has lines of dismay and scars to remind me not every finale has a happy ending. But feel not discouraged, for though the outside aged, I haven't been broken through all the bending. Inside myself I retreat. My mirrors reflecting much more than a hollow shell. In my sleep do I live, dreams become reality, and when I wake my mind shuts off to survive life's hell. I remain bright-eyed and hopeful as the world fades to black, I see the world as the boy who was so vulnerable. I cling to a dream of living for something beyond myself, living a life that's selfless and honorable. But when the alarm sounds I drift to a world of mere existance, this has become my haunting. Dreamers may not lose vision, but everyone else seems so content, I can almost hear them taunting. How long must a dreamer dream before they become hopeless, pulled forever into wonderland, all alone? As I stand beside myself peering into what I was, I come to the conclusion that no matter how long this takes I will become the dream's epitome.

6/18/2015 1:31:24 AM: Forgive me but I wont be coming home, There is no heart in it so I'll wander alone. My eyes have no more tears to shed. I couldn't close my eyes, restless in the bed. I need love, not it's motions. I refuse to surrender to every one of your notions. To and fro, unrequited down the road. Better than submission at the cost of my own code. I want to be captivated, not shackled. It cant be forced, enslaved, beaten or tackled. I hide behind my own eyes, never revealing the pain behind this lie, ever concealing the emptiness i feel. Doubt replaces adoration, how much of it was real? Forgive me for leaving after all you've been through. Dont turn turn around, one foot in front of the other, fixated on the grey sky's hue. I pushed away your kindness knowing all I could recipricate was pain. This has been over for awhile, your prescence replaced by a chill through my veins. So forgive me, but I've been out in the cold for some time. Blame it on me, let this be my crime. I'll forge ahead in the rain, eyes straining foward as i peer Down the lonely road as i wonder if its rain or if perhaps I still have tears.

5/11/2014 5:13:43 PM: A recent Dominant asked me if I wanted to serve Her. Upon reading her profile which was oh-so-brief, the only thing she sought was money. I do not hold any malice towards Pro Dommes but it was clear she didnt take the time to read my posts so this was my reply: Thank you for showing interest but your profile seems so fleeting, so brief. Based on your limited writing I dont think we are compatible because submission is the ultimate payment has always been my belief. I dont believe in charity, but rather seek someone who values my sacrafice as priceless, I hope that heps brings some clarity. Best of luck in finding someone to give you thier money, many Im sure dont mind squandering their dollars and cents. But I'm someone whose truest desire is to capture my soul, knowing when they have that the rest will bow before Her feet, if that makes any sense. Storing not my treasure on Earth where moth and rust may corrupt, where theives may break in and steal. I will lay my treasure in One who will treasure me, not my wallet. When I am treasured then She will be my treasure, and giving to Her will be my pleasure. I am no pig who serves every self proclaimed Mistress like a wild beast. I dont seek to serve with just money, because thats after all doing the very least. Take money from a submissive as payment, ensnare him for a day, Teach a man to submit his soul, ensnare him for a lifetime.