I used to think age didn't matter, but the older I get the more I realize it does.

I am not intereted in people more than 30 years younger than me or 5 years older.

I hope everyone finds who is right for them.

If you are just looking for a place to live - move along .

 There has been a trend lately that people needing a place to stay think they can call themselves a sub or slave and someone will take them in - no questions asked .

If you classify yourself as a sissy or your main interest is cross dressing, that is a fetish I DO NOT have an interest in.   

I will not change my mind on it, so don't try.   Everyone is different and I have nothing against sissies or cross dressers but it is not something I will indulge a slave in.

This includes Adult babies too.

I am trying to update my profile.

I am 57 years old.   I weigh over 550+ lbs.

If you do not have permission all ready to live and work in the USA, then I am not interested in you.

It is very difficult to emigrate to the USA.  I cannot sponsor you - not from lack of will, but because of the rules.


I have nothing against potential slaves contacting Me, but I will NOT sort out immigration issues for you.    I also will not wait until you do.  It can take years.

So, if you all ready have permission to live and work here or dual citizenship - great.   

If not -  don't bother contacting Me.


See the US Immigration website for the rules.

Why do people think they are the exception?  Men - Women it doesn't matter.  No one feels the rules apply to them?   Why is that?

I have very specific directions on My profile.  If you do not want to follow them, fine, pass Me by.  If you contact Me and haven't followed them, why are you surprised when I either refer you back to them or reject you outright.  If you cannot follow directions up front - simple directions I might add - Then of what use are you to Me?  This especially goes for pictures.  I may view your profile, but if there is no pic on it, I will not contact you.  Do not bother contacting Me if you are unwilling to provide a face picture.   If you have a cam, you can take a photo.   If you do not know how to do this, well, there is this wonderful thing called the INTERNET in which you can find the instructions on how to do many many things, including work your webcam.  

This is a warning to all Married People.

As My profile states to read ALL journal entries, so no one should find this a surprise if this happens to them.

If you are Married and are here behind the back of your spouse - that makes you a LIAR.

A LIAR cannot be trusted and thus I would never trust you.

But - I will now change My tactics when dealing with these types of people.

If you are Married and want to serve Me.   I will take you on and then find a way to out you to your spouse.  I will then cut you loose, as you cannot be trusted.  I am warning you of this up front - as I would never LIE to you.

Again  -  This is a warning.   If you do not want this to happen to you - pass My profile by.

Update 2/5/17  - This still applies.  I just let someone off with a big warning, but I many not be that generous with you.   Be Warned!

The Courtship of the Dominant Woman

*I cannot take credit for the following.  I found it on a website several years ago and again more recently in a private blog.  I find the interactions described applicable for All Women.

"Think of three Things, whence you came, where you are going, and to whom you must account." -- Benjamin Franklin

This essay focuses on the approach and perhaps ultimate "courtship" of a female Dominant, by submissive or subservient men. It targets points of acceptable and appropriate behavior (manners) towards a Domme. It is of course, written from a Dominant perspective, and based on my discussions with numerous other lifestyle Dommes.

Much of today's formal "etiquette" originated in the French royal court during the 1600-1700's. This code of behavior soon spread to other European courts and eventually was adopted by the upper classes throughout the Western world. In general, etiquette was developed as a means of breaching differences to allow communication from a common starting point.

It is my opinion, that of all the relationships in the D/s community, the one between a Domina and male submissive, most closely mimics the conventions and protocols of a more formal era; perhaps that of the Victorians. In the 1800's, a young man could not speak to a young woman he knew until she had first acknowledged him. If the lady was not known to the man, then a "gentlemen" expressed his interest through a third party introduction or a formal written request. Socially acceptable activities included chaperoned public and family functions, which may or may not have led to private visitations. Conventions of protocol were strictly adhered to. Men bore the scrutiny of relatives or other interested parties and were more than ready to demonstrate their worthiness as a "suitor." (Sound familiar?)

Whether the ratio is 1:10 or 1:100, most people will agree that there are many more submissives than there are Dominant women. These numbers based on "supply and demand" alone, work against a submissive. Competition is fierce for the attentions of those Dommes who are in "circulation." The process of finding a Domme can be likened to a job search, with several hundred individuals submitting their resumes and credentials, and you, the applicant must stand out from the crowd. If you are seriously searching for a female Dominant partner, start thinking of ways that you could make yourself appealing to her.

To put it simply, we want to be impressed; to be made to feel special ... and ultimately "courted." Material possessions, a high profile career or even an exceptional education do not necessarily impress us. However, I have yet to meet another Domme who is not pleased by a submissive who is honest, self-assured and polite. In addition, intelligence, a sense of humor and a genuine desire to submit, are highly sought after qualities.

In keeping with that, it is helpful to know some rules about how to behave in certain situations, if only because this makes life more comfortable for you and makes you more self-confident. A submissive that ascribes to the following basic rules of good behavior and demonstrates a measure of social grace, may find the quest for a compatible female Dominant, somewhat less challenging.

1. Be honest. This pertains to any information you share or representation that you make of yourself. It includes, but is not limited to the basics of marital status, through to your expectations (in a partner and within the D/s lifestyle), experience level, fetishes and kinks (if they apply) and your limits. Don't make a Dominant or anyone else an unwitting co-conspirator in something that could be an act of adultery, unsafe, insane or non-consensual. If you approach a Domina whose needs and desires are different from your own, accept those differences, do not try to manipulate her into changing her standards. By the same token, do not go against your own principles. Bottom line, don't lie. If you are found out, word will quickly spread that you are a dishonest "player" and this can brand you permanently as untrustworthy. We "network" and most experienced lifestylers talk to each other (this very fact can also work in your favor if you are known to be a respectful, well-mannered and a genuine individual).

2. Have self-respect and be confident. Strong and submissive are not contradictions. You may think that sitting quietly with your head down shows that you're a true submissive. Actually it shows that you're boring. If you want to meet a Dominant woman, you have to attract her attention. If you don't value your submissive gifts, why should she? If you are very shy get a friend to introduce you and perhaps initially stay around to keep the conversation going. You don't have to throw yourself at a Domme's feet to attract her attention. Act in a way that gives a Dominant confidence in you, your abilities, desire to submit and sincerity. Present your best qualities, without being conceited. A sense of humor can always serve you well under these circumstances, and at the very least, remember to smile.

3. Conversational skills are important. Do nut succumb to "submissive frenzy." Having just discovered your innermost need and desire, you feel compelled to announce it to anyone who will listen. Pull yourself together! Approach a Dominant politely, with confidence, and a sense of calm. Introduce yourself, make some small talk, and then go away. Do not give her your complete resume; "My name is Jack, I'm 30 years old, I'm a submissive, I like blah, blah, blah, blah, will you play with me?" You'll just come off as a desperate jerk. Conversely, do not play the doormat expecting to be swept off your feet with witty repartee, but contributing nothing. As in any setting, nothing is more boring than talking to someone who doesn't have anything to say in return. And, "Yes, Mistress," "No, Ma'am." and "Ooh, I don't know," can grow very old, quickly. Find out how a Domme likes to be referred to (Madame, Ma'am, Mistress, Lady, Ms, etc.) and address her that way, but, appropriately and sparingly. Be patient and allow the natural process of rapport building to develop.

4. Develop patience. It can take some submissives years to find a compatible Dominant partner. Just as you have the right to be choosy in selecting a partner, so does the Domme. Do not pester her because you find her interesting. Treat her with respect and courtesy. Just because she is Dominant, does not mean she is under any obligation to use her talents in the Dominant arts on you. Impatient and pushy submissives don't get very far with Dommes. If a lady rebuffs your advances, or does not respond to them, take it with dignity, do not respond rudely. There is no need to badmouth or disparage a Domina who has turned you down. Doing so, will simply earn you a reputation of being impolite. If you want to leave a lasting, positive impression, thank her for her time and consideration and ask that she might keep you in mind for the future.

A point on sending notes or letters of introduction. A lack of a reply can mean two things (1) the Dominant in question is overwhelmed by requests, and yours was lost due to volume; or (2) it means "Not interested." A short, polite follow-up note thanking her for reading your letter, may garner you a response. If not, give up. Do not send further mail, or make unwanted calls, whining that you haven't gotten an answer from her. At that time, take non-response as a "no."

5. Do unto others as you would have done to yourself. Would you walk into someone's home without an invitation? Would you randomly select the phone number of a stranger, dial them up and open with "want to have sex?" Would you walk up to a woman in a bar and say "Hi I'm Mike, I'm kinky, let's get naked"? Common sense dictates that you wouldn't. In today's computer age, why would you behave differently online? The rules of engagement should be and are the same as in any other social or business setting. No one owes you his or her attention.

The advantage of this medium is that through profiles, homepages, other postings and participating in chatrooms and newsgroups, you can often glean some insights about an individual, before approaching her. Avoid two common mistakes. First, do not approach a Dominant who is not interested in the same things you are. Second, don't send a request for submission to every Domme in the Western world. As stated before, we network. And for the record, spelling and grammar do count.

6. Be open about your knowledge and experience within the D/s lifestyle. Being a novice, and admitting it, is not a bad thing. We all started somewhere. Acknowledging a lack of experience may be a wonderful starting point for forming a D/s partnership, if you find a Domme interested in training. Conversely, if you are experienced, you may be a wonderful teacher to a novice Dominant, or be able to parlay your knowledge into a common ground for communication. But, do not overstate or understate your knowledge. Do not disrespect a Dominant by assuming you know what is best for her, or assume you know what she wants to hear.

7. Be informed and know yourself. Before you declare yourself as a "submissive" be sure you understand what it is you are offering. Dominants are not libraries, nor are we therapists, counselors or social workers. It is not our job to tease apart what your desires, fetishes and kinks are. There is nothing wrong with having fetishes and acting on them; but know what they are and what it is you are looking for and are realistically able to offer. Educate yourself, put some work into determining who you are and what it is you are so willing to give. Our role is not to define your desires and limits, but to work within them, expand them and explore beyond, WITH you.

8. Lose the attitude that this is "all about you." It is not. For many (perhaps even most) our chosen role has very little to do with sex, and relates to a power exchange between two consenting adults. Actually, we usually couldn't care less about what you demand that we do. If you approach a Dominant with a "What can you do for me?" attitude, you're going to be laughed at. Do-Me submissives are selfish, controlling, and annoying. Being pushy, rude, rash, or overly forward with a Dominant, you will most likely lose you the chance to ever partner with her. Dominant women are not public utilities; just because a woman is dominant, does not mean she is YOUR Dominant. If you're just interested in yourself and what you want, please do us all a favor and go pay someone to play-act with you.

9. Be discreet. It's unfortunate, but most people need to keep their interests in female domination and other alternative lifestyle practices private. Most people would prefer that their family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors didn't know about their interests and activities. Unless you know that the Mistress you met at a club or play party, is out of the "closet" do not approach her in a vanilla setting and address her by her scene title, or fall to your knees in an act of worship or deference.

10. Have realistic expectations. Dominant women range from ugly to beautiful, just like women in general. As a matter of fact, just as men, in general. If looks are really that important to your happiness in a scene be prepared to look for a long time, or be willing to pay a professional who has the looks that you want. While you are at it, take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if you are really worthy of such expectations yourself. You'll have better luck finding a Dominant if you concentrate on her personality and skills. Think of it this way: If you're blindfolded, and in ecstasy, what does it matter what she looks like?

11. Proper decorum once accepted for a private meeting includes, being polite, punctual, and well-groomed. I want to stress the importance of personal hygiene...fur on the teeth, dirty fingernails, greasy hair, and other unmentionables … are no no's. *Please* NO intimate gifts, such as panties or stockings, until you are actually intimate, we may be open-minded but we expect to be treated like ladies. You may bring flowers, if she likes them, but red roses are inappropriate for a first encounter. Perhaps, take a walk together; maybe get coffee, and even lunch together. Then you stop! Go home! Send her a note of thanks for the fine company, perhaps call on the phone to ask if you may visit again, and leave it up to her. If she doesn't encourage you, give up!

Let's assume though, that you were charming, intriguing, and she wants to see you again. This means you are in the "running." It does NOT mean she owns you. You probably still have competition for her attention, so keep your best foot forward. Getting to know a Dominant woman goes in degrees, at a pace dictated by her needs and interests. If at first you don't succeed, do not get discouraged. Ultimately practice will prepare you for meeting the right partner.

Remember to use common sense, maintain perspective, and be polite. No one owes anyone else his or her dominance or his or her submission. Patience and a sense of humor are definite attributes for a submissive. Lastly, never forget that you too may discover that the Dominant is not to your liking or standards, and you always have the right and option to withdraw from any phase of the relationship. After all, ours is a lifestyle of mutuality, safety, sanity and consent.

These are the kinds of pathetic people who try to contact Me.  So if you wonder why I am very strict on people adhering to the rules on My profile - This is why.

Here is a recent interaction:

 2/1/14 1:08 AM

would you allow me to say hello Maam?    

(No picture provided- My profile clearly specifies - no picture - no interaction)

MistressTitania  2/1/14 at 1:15 AM:

I dont talk with idiots who either wont or cant follow directions.

 2/1/14 at 1:15 AM:

how am I not following directions Maam?

 (The next reply comes after I had gone to bed and had not responded - Now - if the moron had even skimmed My profile, he would have known about My body type, Which I do not hide or try to diminish in the slightest.)

 2/1/14 at 1:21 AM:

its ok......I didn't realized you exceeded the weight limit....slow night orca??

(Seriously?   Thinking this pathetic and I mean truly pathetic response is going to upset Me?  The only thing that bothered Me is this moron contacted Me at all. So it is the vast numbers of trolls like this that cause trouble for the few that are serious.)

Not 5 minutes after I posted this journal entry, I got someone who did the exact same thing - lol  

PATHETIC!

Introduced to a new concept today :  H.A.R. D.- honor accountability responsibility and duty.

I like it and feel it should be a Tenant that every Dominant should follow.

Why do people think if they Lie that they will get their way?   A Lie is always discovered.  This lifestyle is based on trust and if you will lie about something small you will lie about something big.

 Once trust is broken, it is rare that you can repair it.

If you cannot be - BOTHERED - to read My whole profile, why would you think I would consider you as a slave.   If you cannot follow clear directions to start with, it is not worth My time to deal with you.

If you are just passing through town - keep going.  There is NOTHING on My profile that would indicate I am looking for someone just to scene with.   I am looking for Full Time slaves.

I do not play chase me - chase me.   If I respond to you - I expect you to respond back.  I am not going to keep chasing you to respond.

I am so tired of so called "slaves" having no idea who they are and why they consider that they are a slave.

If you have done no introspection and know why you are here, then do not bother Me.

Also do not try to impose what you want and try to couch it as something that I want.

For instance.   "I want to dress for You." -  No you don't you want to dress for yourself.    "I want to take all the beatings for You." -  No you don't you are looking to get beaten.

Be honest first with yourself and then with anyone whom you interact with.   Dishonesty never pans out.

This is an example of why I have little patience with people.   I get idiotic things like this ALL THE TIME!

This is an actual exchange between Myself and someone contacting Me.

This person has Dominant chosen on their profile.

 1/18/13 at 7:13

 I can relocate maybe if we can chat little bit

 *My profile says a face pic is required - he did not provide a face pic*

MistressTitania on 1/18/13 at 7:18 PM

lol  and do you plan on Dominating Me?

 * No where on My profile or in journal entries, do I ever indicate any desire to switch*

1/18/13 at 7:20 PM

I am open for both
You can dominate me if you want :)
Like your smile

 MistressTitania on 1/18/13 at 7:22 PM

you - are an idiot - I would step on your neck and snap you like a twig

 1/18/13 at 7:24 PM

Thats what I wanna

that is why I am contacting

I would like to give massage to your feet

and can be your housekeeper at home you can use

MistressTitania on 1/18/13 at 7:27 PM

you change your profile to slave and I might think about it .   I am not looking for someone to play with, I am looking for a slave. 

1/18/13 at 7:29 PM

But you live far from me

Can I be only for weekends 

*My profile says in big letters - looking for relocatable and 24/7*

 MistressTitania on 1/18/13 at 7:30 PM

 no

MistressTitania on 1/18/13 at 7:31 PM

 If you fuckin' bothered to read - you would know all about it -   stop wasting My time -  again - idiot

1/18/13 at 7:41 PM 

But you need to pick me up from the city

I live in the city 

MistressTitania on 1/18/13 at 7:41 PM

hhahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahah  MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At that point I just blocked the moron.    I get this crap all the time.   So, if you are this type of moron, save us both some trouble and just do not contact Me.

I need to beat someone tonight.  

 Have them howling and yelping and writhing in agony.

 Only letting them go when they have collapsed from pain.

 Only to spit at them as they lie in a puddle when I am done.

 I need to beat someone tonight.

The question I ask of everyone.

Everyone who contacts Me about serving Me I ask this question of:

How do you define being a slave?

I ask this question not to figure out what I want.  I know exactly what I want and how I define it.  I ask for their definition to make sure we have similar views.  If someone has a vastly different perspective on what being a slave is from Mine, then it may not be worth it to pursue anything further.

People need to separate the fantasy from the reality.

Without that, people cannot comprehend what it is to be a slave.

Approaching a Dominant Woman

Especially with Female Dominant's, we get approached by both men and women every day.

It is YOUR job to distinguish yourself.  

Approach it as you would a job interview.   There are no second chances to make a good impression.

In a job interview you wouldn't show your cock or your tits, so don't show them to Me.   Even on your profile as your main picture it is a turn off.

If you would not go up to a stranger on the street and say what you are about to message to Me - STOP.

The rules of social courtesy still apply.  If you are unable or unwilling to follow them, then don't waste our time on contact.

Telling Me you have good oral or domestic skills is the equivalent of telling a job interviewer you have a good work ethic.  Everyone says that.

Telling Me you are worthless is like going into a job interview saying, I cannot do this job.   Why would I bother?

you need to be able to separate your Fetish from your Service.

If you are just looking to satisfy a fetish then go on a different site.   This site says "collarme" which indicates a D/s or M/s relationship.   Not random hook up site.

If you do not agree with the things I say - fine - Just do not Message Me, as we have NOTHING to talk about.

Simple Tasks

If I instruct someone to carry out a simple task and they do not carry it out, why are they so surprised when I no longer want anything to do with them?

I do not ask anything beyond someone's ability.

If they do not understand their task, they are free to ask questions.

So why - over and over and over do so called "slaves", people who say they want to serve, cannot even do the most basic of tasks?

I have been accused of taking things too seriously on here.

This is why I take it seriously.

http://news.yahoo.com/italian-student-killed-sex-game-gone-wrong-174429030.html

AFP – Sun, Sep 11, 2011

Italian prosecutors have charged a 42-year-old man with killing a female student who suffocated during a sex-game gone wrong, media reported Sunday.

Soter Mule tied Paola Caputo, 24, to another woman while performing a Japanese sado-masochist technique known as "shibari."

The engineer was originally held for murder but authorities in Rome believe Caputo and her friend consented to the game.

Investigators have so far established that the three spent the night drinking and using drugs at a club before Caputo, said to be Soter's long-term girlfriend, suggested going to the car park of the building in a Rome suburb where she worked as a caretaker.

The two women remained clothed while they were tied tightly together with the same rope and suspended two metres off the ground. The balancing act meant that when the unnamed woman fainted, Caputo was suffocated.

Mule tried to save her by cutting the cord before calling for help. He reportedly told investigators: "No one forced anyone. Paola and her friend consented. It's a horrible accident."

Caputo's 23-year-old friend was taken to hospital in a serious, but not life-threatening condition.

Nicknamed Kinbaku, Mule was known online for practicing bondage and was a member of the BDSM association, standing for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism.

"He was considered one of the experts," a person familiar with the scene told the Ansa news agency.

"Practicing this kind of extreme sex, everything has to be controlled, but he knew that completely. We don't understand what happened."

Here is a journal entry from a male slave's profile.....

"3/27/2010 7:31:26 AM: Have added a face pic as many have asked... "

I believe most Female Dominants want to see a face picture.  I know I pass by most profiles of slaves who show their genitals. 

If I want to see you naked, I will make the request. 

Since I don't take this lightly, I want to know the whole person.  I take My time in getting to know someone.  Most don't want to put in the time necessary.  I feel if someone doesn't want to put in the time to get to know someone they want to dedicate their life to, then what does that say about their judgement?  What does it say about their so called desire to serve? 

If I was just looking to play, then it wouldn't matter. 

I would never take someone into My life and My house that I didn't know inside and out.

There is NO reason for anyone not to display a picture of themself. 

YOU are not famous.  The only people looking at these pictures are people with similar interest. 

If there is a reason you have to HIDE, you shouldn't be here in the first place.

I will no longer speak to anyone without a face picture of themself on their profile or provide one when they contact Me.