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I need a dom who doesnt feel the need to capitalize in a ridiculous manner.
I need a dom who has a strong hand and a stronger mind.
I need a dom who laughs and smiles.
I need a dom who understands that I am fairly dominant in my daily life with both my jobs and that sometimes having an assertive attitude doesnt mean Im being bratty or am a switch.
I need a dom who knows the difference between sub and slave (and which I am *not*).
*Please note Bulk mail filters are set for 45, outside the US, subs, and all females and couples. I do not check the bulk mail folder except to periodically delete it.
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Nearly 13 months to the day, I come here to tell you I stand by my last journal entry. |
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I am lonely. I kind of feel like this whole BDSM thing is a joke lately. No one seems to be serious about it. |
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Had a good time at the BTNG munch last night. Message me if you were there! |
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Any Dom/Top (25-38ish) looking for some fun this weekend? I'm not going to fall in bed with the first guy who responds, but I'm definitely looking to get together if it seems like a good time. |
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I could use cuddles and spankings. |
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Happy birthday, me! Let's fuck. |
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Goddammit, even a cartoon character gets more spankings than I do.
I guess I can't complain when I'm so picky about who I let touch me, but still. |
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I feel like this journal is a pity party or really emo, but what other forum do I have to say
I'm LONELY
without everyone saying I'm pitiful or emo?
Wishing for you tonight... |
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So glad this week is over. Wish I had someone to cuddle up with :-/ |
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I could really use an understanding friend. |
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ATTENTION:
JCK123/ BLKCK2SCK
is a disgusting liar. He claims to be 'respectful,' but he blatantly ignores polite requests, calls you a pig in his first email-- and tells you to wipe your ass well after you shit because he's going to fuck your ass because you're giving it away for free.
Then when you block him, he opens a new account to harass you!
He clearly does not know the meaning of 'respectful' or 'dominant.' |
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Bed time comes and goes... and comes and goes, and comes and goes. I don't know what happened. Little untruths slip into the conversations: "I'm fine," and "I'll be back later." I wait for you after several unpleasant days at the office. I wait for you after several lonely weekend days. I wait and I wait... but bed time comes alone again. |
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It's terrifying to feel so alone. |
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Why does this always happen to me? Will I ever find someone who wants me? |
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Anyone about my age (22-34, please) up to give some wicked spankings soon? This is REAL, so please be willing to drive to me. How far you drive is up to you, but in my eyes, this is a relationship that would ideally be continued for a while.
I'm going through a tough time in my life right now and these are just stress-relief spankings. Ideally, they will be OTK, bare-handed.
Please be single. Safe, sane and consensual play only. Please have AIM so we can chat (at work, it's all I'm able to use) beforehand- I need to feel comfortable and know that I can trust you to respect me, my home, and my safe words. Thanks!
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Sometimes, especially now, at night, I miss you. I know we didn't have a lot of contact, but I always looked forward to hearing from you- IMs, emails, texts. You were funny and poignant, focused and carefree. It was easy to talk to you, and I was incredibly attracted to you.
I know, intellectually, that it's not you I hope to have an email from in my inbox tonight. It'd be the same with anyone who made me feel sexy AND could still hold an intelligent conversation while making me laugh. It seems to be, though, an incredibly rare combination of all of these things, for guys like you only come along once every few years. I know it's "worth the wait," but I don't want to wait another few years. I want someone to dominate me today, and for a long time. I want someone new in my life that makes me smile. I want to feel that thrill.
Even though I'm meeting new people, meeting new Doms, I've yet to meet one that makes me feel the same way you did in that short time. So every time I check my email at night, I hold my breath for a second, hoping to find one from you, before realizing what I'm doing and how ridiculous I'm being.
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"A submissive depends upon a dominant partner not only for instruction, but for purpose and meaning."
-Criminal Minds
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I just bought the book Bondage by Patti Davis. I'm not sure how I feel about it. At first, I thought that the writing was crap at first, but I can't say that any longer. How can you say the writing is crap when you feel so strongly the emotions of the character with whom you identify?
There are highs, sure. Happiness when her Master is coming over, sexual thrills. But the book is dominated by lows. Is that the point? I'm sure. Still, the insecurity she/I feel is unsettling- really bothers me.
A Dom, in my mind, is someone who pushes to the limits, but knows when to stop, and more importantly, cares enough to stop. I, as a sub, am giving myself to you, as a Dom, placing my physical and emotion well-being in your hands, and I'm trusting you to take care of them.
I'm not say that insecurity has no place in a D/s relationship. Far from it- as I said, I believe a Dom pushes his sub to the edge, and that causes insecurities, nervousness, fear. But an overwhelming sense of insecurity should not be the ruling theme of the relationship. Just like a vanilla relationship, I shouldn't have to wonder if it's my bed you'll be in tonight.
I know not everyone here believes in monogamy, but I do, and I could not be collared by someone who believes in polygamy for these reasons. That's not the way I'm built.
Anyways, now I'm just rambling, but I'd like to hear thoughts and opinions. |
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Awkward email of the day:
"I have thoughts when I look at you." |
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I'm not sure what you all don't understand.
My age limits are clearly stated in my profile.
I am kind enough to nicely reiterate them again in an email when you are too stupid to understand in the first place.
"Age means nothing" is a lie, so don't bother writing it in your message. Don't tell me to "keep my options open," or that "older Doms know what they are doing and are through playing games." Age is everything. Moreover, I'm not sexually attracted to you when you are over the age of 35.
Thinking about it makes me want to vomit.
Don't think I'm not serious when I say I have age limits.
I will no longer be responding, no matter how kind your message is, if you are over the age of 35. A big "screw you" to you all. |
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I feel that I don't need to lose myself to be a good sub. Does that make sense?
I can still write and type my name and "I" with capital letters.
I will be my Master's sub, yes, but I still have a name- and it's not "girl," "slut," or "slave-" though he may call me these things occasionally or even more than occasionally.
I am still intelligent. I can hold up my end of the conversation on many different issues. In fact, I even have opinions that I would like to share and discuss, and even debate!
I will not be confined to the house 24/7. I like my job, I like my friends, and sometimes, I don't even mind doing the errands (which, in case you were wondering, I will do whether I enjoy them or not).
I am a sub, not a slave. I suppose most don't see the difference. I will love and obey my Master, but I am still a person. I read an awful lot of journals that seem like the person who wrote them is no longer a human being, but even lower than an animal- nothing----
but to each their own, I suppose. |
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| Age: 27 |
| Shippensburg,
Pennsylvania |
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