When i'm not in use, i go to the walk in closet where i'm kept, i kneel upon the pillow She leaves for me and i stare up at the picture of Her on the wall. i lose myself. How could i not lose myself when allowed to kneel and stare at Her picture, when i get to witness Her perfection, when i get to worship Her?
i'll kneel here until She rings for me and calls me. "Mine!" She'll call. i have no name, not anymore at least. i used to, of course, but i've forgotten it now. When She calls me, She calls me Mine, and when i need to refer to myself, i call myself Hers, or Yours. She had a new friend over for tea a few days ago, and as i served it, She introduced me, telling Her guest, "This is Mine."
The guest looked at Her quizzically and asked, "What's his name?"
"A slave has no name," She replied, "it is simply Mine."
i must admit, i melt a little bit every time She explains it to someone. It must be hard for them to imagine what i used to be, when i had a name. When they witness my unquestioning and unlimited obedience to Her, i doubt they can picture me in a shirt and tie, with cell phone and a secretary. Those days are long gone though, barely a memory to me and i doubt that any of my old self still shows when i'm looked upon..
These days, i rarely wear any kind of suit at all. There's a collar for my neck and a collar for Her cock and balls and sometimes She'll decorate me in other ways as well, but most days, it's just the collars and nothing more. i doubt the sharp eyes of shrewd businessman exist at all anymore. That's been trained out of me. The only purpose of my existence now is Her.
i'm quiet when i kneel here. i mustn't disturb Her. If i was needed, She would call and when i'm not needed, i come here and worship Her picture while i wait for use. What more could a man ask for from life? Surely not the daily grind of 9 to 5, the false sense of power and control that foolish males, like i used to be, cling to, no--this is the life i was meant for, born to, deserve.
She taught me all of this of course. She taught me to release my pride and my ego to Her. Now the only pride i have is pride in Her, and pride in my service to Her when She tells me i've been good. And i have no ego. Ego is part of the self, i have no self. i am a part of Her now, i am Hers. i once thought i was whole and i felt empty. Now i am just the tiniest part of Her, and i am full.
Sometimes, i kneel here for hours without being called. If She takes a nap, or phones a friend and has no use for me, i simply kneel, worship and wait. There is no selfishness in me anymore. There is no me. There is only Her and the small part of Her that She allows me to be. my selfish thoughts now of things like pleasuring Her, bringing Her a glass of water, scrubbing the bathroom floor for Her. These are things that make Her happy. She is the whole, i am a part, my happiness is completely dependent on Hers. i do my part to see to it that She is happy in any ways She calls upon me to do.
i'm not mindless. You may think i am from what i've described, but it's not so. Though it is fair to say that my mind is not the one i had for those many years before Her. She recognized the limitations of being male, of thinking completely for myself, of thinking with an inferior male brain. She teaches me to think the way She wishes me to think now. Sometimes She'll ask my opinion, and i must give Her my honest opinion of course because She sees my lies before i think them. And often enough when i'm done speaking, if my answer was not pleasing to Her, She'll tell me why i was wrong, how i should change my thinking, and how to better use this mind of Hers in the future. She is my Teacher.
And school is always in session. "It's not that Mine is stupid," She'll tell me, "it's just that you are only a male. It's not the fault of Mine. Mine is lucky to have Me to tell teach him what he should think." i am of course, i am very lucky. i've learned so much already. i know i have a long way to go, but She is patient with Hers. She knows men are born defective, taught that their defections are positive traits and ruined unless they are redeemed through the Ownership and teachings of a Woman. Can you imagine a greater act of kindness than for a Woman to own a man and help him overcome himself?
It's no wonder as to why i obey Her without question, why i don't even think when She commands me, i simply act. When a Woman owns a man, when She is being so kind to him, it is the highest form of disrespect to do anything but immediately obey and be thankful for the opportunity to do so. i don't question Her motives, i'm not capable of always understanding them. All i need to know is that She is right and obeying Her is right--no matter what the command.
i am lucky and fortunate to be Hers. i wouldn't trade my life of service, obedience and submission to Her for anything. If you gave me ten million dollars today, i'd give it Her to spend and i'd return to a life of scrubbing Her toilets and serving Her drinks. That is true happiness. When She looks at me and says, "Mmmm...Mine has been good," there is no euphoria that matches it. And so i am...Hers. Now and forever.
And there is the bell. It's time to go. Mistress calls Hers. It's time to serve! It's time to serve Her!!!!
