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Mstrofrope
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SwtBBWDomme
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Happily collared.
I am a very complex person, there are many facets to me...as I am sure there are many facets to You! All I ask for is the truth...OK, so let me lay this out one more time...I am BBW, I am submissive, scratch that...I have learned that I have a very sadistic side that must be fed...I also have a mind...do not expect me to roll over and lick your ass just because you say you are dominant. Do not tell me you are OK with my appearance and then demand I change something about me...been there and not going to happen...
I am currently seeking a bi-sexual (preferably) male submissive, or a bi-sexual switch male...drop me a line and we can see where it will go and what might transpire. What follows may offend some, but if it does it is probably because you see yourself in the meanderings of my mind...
I have tried, and will not try again, being with a married Dominant. First off, if you are married you cannot give me what I seek the most, commitment! Secondly, if you are already cheating on one you will eventually cheat on me...If you are married or in any kind of committed relationship, please keep on going...That being sad, I am open to poly but only in a male scenario. I am not bi-sexual, have tried it and it is not my thing as further explained.
I have tried, and will not do it again, being with a woman (with her as the second until she whined to Master that she wouldnt be second, see the journal for just a fraction of the BS she put me through to get her way to be his one and only...) and it is not something I will ever do again, even just for theoccasionalthreesome someone might want. Not going to happen in this lifetime, ever again! I am not, and never really was, bi-curious nor am I bi-sexual. I do not play with women as either sub, slave, or Domme...so do not ask.
I DO NOT play with anyone who is more than 10 years younger than me! I am sorry, you can say that you have a lifetime of experience but I still feel that is too young for me to be comfortable, and all these 20 something and younger? They havent lived life long enough to know what this is really about! To them it seems to be a game, a way to have fun, kinky sex with as many partners as they can...this is anything but a game to me.
What I want out of this...I want a Dominant, switch, or submissive male who can make a real commitment to a life-long relationship that involves both vanilla and BDSM. I want someone who eventually would like to build a real and lasting relationship. That means 247357! I enjoy being able to take care of someone full time and I miss it. I was raised in a 50s type household where the mans word was law and the woman took care of his needs inside the house. I miss the little things...curling up on the couch after dinner and watching TV or talking. Having a person around who enjoys a good, home cooked meal and shows his appreciation. Someone who values honesty in everything he does and says. Say what you mean and mean what you say...words are wind and like the wind they disappear and cannot be called back once loosed upon another persons soul. If we discuss something and you agree with me 100, I feel I have the right to accept that it will be considered a limit that will not be crossed.
Lie to me once, I will be gone. I do not lie and I will not abide a liar in any shape, , or fashion. If you are asked a direct question, answer it honestly. As long as an omission does not affect us or our relationship, I can deal with it when it comes to light as long as you are honest at that juncture.
I do not appreciate being told that you want to start a relationship with me and then you seem to disappear for several days, only to reappear when it is convenient for you (that smacks of you hiding something, maybe a wife, see above). If you have a few minutes to get on-line to check e-mail, you have a few minutes to drop a quick line to say that your day has been busy or whatever and let me know that you are still alive and breathing. The beauty of CM is it tells when you were last on...so do not piss on me repeatedly and tell me it is raining. If you do not want a relationship with me, just say so...simple! I have been rejected before, it is not going to kill me...
As a very dear to me couple who live this lifestyle says, BDSM is based on the THRILL concept. Trust, Honesty, Respect, Integrity, Loyalty, and Love...without any one of these concepts, the relationship is doomed to fail.
I do not want a long-distance relationship, or on-line only relationship. If you are not within the US, do not bother contacting me. If you are not able to come meet, do not bother contacting me. I do not do cyber chat, I do not do phone sex, I do not play on-line games. Either be in a position to be physically present in the same room with me or do not waste my time.
OK, so something else. I am relatively intelligent. I have three degrees in Health Care Management, and was working on my fourth in cyber security when I had issues that made being in class impossible. Please have some intelligence and respect mine. I will not drop on my knees and call you Sir or any other word giving you power over me until after we have met, talked, and seen where the chemistry is. Respect is not something demanded, like trust, it is earned. Because I am submissive does not mean I am, or will ever be, your door mat.
Generated mail will be disregarded...by that, I mean these messages I have gotten in the past that seem to be generic, bulk sending. Ive gotten a few from submissive males, and laughably from 20something Dommes, telling me they will be in my area and either cannot wait to fall at my feet or have me at their feet, conversely...Also, please try to be a little more creative than just hi...what about my profile intrigued you? What do you see that maybe we have in common to build something on?
More to come, this, like me, is a work in process...
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LOL, so, CS was screwing up for me with this stupid "bad gateway" message. I am guessing that means I viewed a gay Dominant profile by accident. I went to send him an apology and the sore dick blocked me for viewing his profile! I mean, wtaf? Some men really need a female with a strap-on up their ass!!!! |
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What happened to common courtesy? |
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I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
Pablo Neruda |
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I really don't want to do this today ... |
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My heart is shattering into a million pieces ... my Dom left this world last night. |
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What the heck is this "saydates?" Like we don't have enough flakes and fakes on here now they have a vanilla date site hooked into this site? |
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WOW, they finally brought back the journal! Happily collared to Biggen; but, looking for a slave to serve me, preferably 24/7. The slave will also be expected to serve my Dom when he is here. Hopefully, I will find someone who doesn't flake . |
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Here we go again...OK, for all you sissy-sub boi's out there. Don't go looking at all the porn videos and get caught up in the frenzy of that fantasy and expect a Domme or switch female to fulfill those fantasies for you on the first meeting. If you are a slut, want to be a slut, fine...don't message saying you want to belong to someone. Sluts are in it for the instant gratification, not to build a relationship that explores all the fun things that can make those fantasies a Safe reality. This is not 50 Shades of anything, this is not porn, it is a life choice. You choose to give control of your life, your sex, your body, and hopefully your soul to a partner....So tired of the players and the feeding frenzy both sexes work their selves into trying to make a porn fantasy their life.
Any Dom/me or sub/slave who is out just to have sex usually only wants that instant satisfaction and doesn't care about their own safety, much less anyone else. Grow up! |
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So, I read this tonight from a profile while conversing with an old friend. I asked to reprint from his page but I am putting the original persons name in with this comment. This is so true. I have walls upon walls. And sometimes I make the mistake of letting someone in a bit too soon only to find that everything was a lie. One of my favorite songs is Broken by Seether and Amy Lee (Evanescence) and this touches on that...
by Torturedsoul38 How to love a broken girl. How many would benefit from an instruction book for that? Its easy to love the carefree girls, the 'normal' girls, the confident girls next door, but what about the broken girls? The girls with fortresses around their heart and shields in their eyes? The girls whose souls have aged beyond their earthly years? The girls with bodies and minds that have survived wars which would break the strongest of men? Sometimes these girls should come with a warning label. The warning pendulum swings both ways. This warning is not only for how you must treat her but for all the ways she will ruin you. 1. You cannot love her gently. She does not realize she deserves to be loved. You must love her with a force that can crush mountains. You must burn her soul so hot with your love that doubt melts away. Your love must be unconditional and you must show her on her very worst days. 2. She doesn't know shes beautiful. She can get compliments all day and she wont believe it. There is a demon on her shoulder whispering that its not true. It takes a dozen compliments to erase one hurtful torment from her past. Shower her with compliments, be her cheerleader, until your words are her heartbeat instead of her doubts. 3. Chase her. I know we often have the attitude of not chasing anyone. I know it is said to be weak if we chase someone who walks away, but we need to see you are weak for us. Sometimes a broken girl needs to see how much you need her. She needs to.see that vulnerability in your eyes to feel OK. We need you to need us. 4. She needs routine. Broken girls over analyze everything. They notice everything, too. Did you stop asking her for pictures after some time passes? Did you stop using a pet name? Every broken pattern to us means the end of the only thing we have ever wanted and it terrifies us. 5. Smother us with affection. Touch us. Kiss us. Touch us some more. Broken girls have not experienced enough positive affection in their life. We will absorb every ounce as a person dying of thirst demands water. You cannot shower us with enough of a good touch. 6. Be honest and keep promises. Broken girls have not dared to dream much. Every vow made to us has been broken. Every promise has been a lie. We would rather you never let a promise escape your lips than have you utter false ones. 7. Prepare to drown. If we let you inside our chaotic soul, you will be immersed in a madness you will not understand. We sometimes walk the balance beam of insanity and sometimes we fall. The biggest warning we should have is this.. if we love you, it is forever. We will love you with a loyalty that will amaze you. We will be committed and our heart will beat your name. While we are still broken we will try to devour all of your pain. We will be perceptive to your wounds and eager to heal your soul. If we love you, please be prepared that we will forever stay. |
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So, I have finally, after several years, let shit for brains go once and for all. Looking back over my journal entries, I know I have said it several times but this time I've changed my phone number, blocked his email address, and blocked him on Skype. So, short of him showing up on my doorstep, which I know he doesn't have the balls to do, he will never darken my life with his lies and bullshit again.
Now, to get the taste of his shit out of my mouth and get over the anger and hurt I let him cause in me. Seven years of his back and forth, ghosting and excuses, and out right lies is enough.
Not sure I will ever get back into the mindset of being totally submissive, that also has left a bad taste in my mouth from all the cheats and fakes out there in cyberland. Plus, I found that I do have a very deep sadistic streak that I need to feed.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring. For now, peace out. Blessed be! Wish I could change my ID on here without completely changing my profile...I am not a slightly tarnished angel... |
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Just really sick and tired of the men, not just from this site, who feel that they have to lie to get a woman to be with them...men suck, period! And not in a good way... |
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I'm addicted to Every single thing you do I'm dying inside Your sucking me down It makes me feel,I'm gonna drownIt's killing me now All you do is bring me down All this time and all your lies It has been no surprise Now I realize it now How could you cheat on me Then turn your back on me You told me all the lies and hypnotized and I believed How could you cheat on me Then turn your back on me You told me all the lies and hypnotized and I believed I'm coming to know all the secrets that you hold You think I'm a fool and I don't know what you do But I look in your eyes and I finally realize In all this time and all your lies It has been no surprise now I realize and now with all your pride You still can't look me in the eyes and now in all your shame You can't even speak my name I'm addicted to every single thing you doI'm dying inside.... |
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Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine _
You look so beautiful tonight
Remind me how you laid us down
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life
Would you find it in your heartTo make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart?To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart?To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
You got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
You held me in your hands
But could you find it in your heart?
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces
Would you find it in your heart
To make it go away
And let me rest in pieces
Saliva |
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Guess I should update this a bit. I have found someone who seems to be my other half. ..the Yang to my Yin...wondering when he will change his profile to state this fact...or if he will! |
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Tired, but I ain't sleeping
Thinking about some sad affair
And why I should be leaving
'cause some of these thoughts only seem to take me outta here.
Yeah, these habits are so hard to break
And they're so easy to make
Well, these habits are so hard to break
And they're so easy to make
Thinking about tomorrow
Tired from all the time I spare
On what I still believe in
When none of my talk ever seems to get me anywhere.
So easy
So long
Bye, my friend, so long
So long
Will it ever happen again?
You know that I've been waiting for you
So long
You know the light ain't fading from you
Nothing could save me from you
So long
Tired, but I ain't dreaming
Falling into solid air
And why must I be leaving
Or one of these days I'm gonna pull out all my hair
So easy
So long
Bye, my friend, so long
So long
Will it ever happen again?
You know that I've been waiting for you
I've been created for you
So long
You know the light ain't fading from you
Nothing could save me from you
So long |
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LOL, guess I am to forward for the so-called Dom's on here...poor things. Being submissive does not mean I don't have a brain or expect to be treated with respect! |
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So, finally getting ready to move into my new house. Looking forward to the change of scenery and the changes in my life this will bring. I have recently heard a saying adding a little to the old one, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" The new version added "If" to the beginning and then states, "If that is true, I should be able to lift a Buick!"
I am tired of making others a priority in my life to be dumped upon by them. People, not just those who call themselves dominant, always take advantage of those of us with a good and giving nature. I've been told to change myself but I do not like me as a bitch and I resent being forced into that role by others actions and attitudes. My walls are back up, and firmly in place, no more letting someone in until they have proven their intent 100 fold!
By letting someone inside, we give them the words and means to cause the most damage to our souls. My soul is not yours to use and abuse for kicks and giggles. Wounds heal but the scar remains, and usually it does not take much to scratch it and make it bleed again. My life is my own again, and it seems destined to stay that way since I cannot find an honest Dominant who values what I have to offer. |
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Circumstances beyond my control really have me conflicted...I have always been submissive, until something happens and I become pissed off and frustrated. I have been seriously contemplating stepping out of my comfort zone and declaring myself Switch. I have this urge and desire to take my frustrations out on the opposite sex...
Even backing away for several months has not helped me get back into my normal self and really wondering if this would help since it is what I have been thinking and contemplating for weeks...may have to call upon a few old submissive male friends and see if that will assuage my wounded soul! |
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Fuck everything! I am done with it all! My heart has been broken for the last time... |
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I hate these nights where thoughts of what might have been interfer with my sleep...I haven't slept a full night in almost two weeks! |
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So, I've put away the toys; time for a long breather from this place. It sucks when you think you've found your true north only to realize it was all smoke and mirrors. My heart will eventually heal, the tears will eventually dry up...but for now I need to focus on me...
I Don't Have Anything: VAST...
I stood on mountain tops that over looked the world.
I can't find anything except a void inside.
I went to place where I could forget your name.
I can't find anything except a void inside.
What can I buy to make the sky turn blue again?
Where can I go to feel like I'm alive again?
Show me the places where I can forget your name...
I can't find anything except the void inside.
I've been robbed of everything except some flesh that bleeds
and I've been stripped of everything except a soul that needs...
you, sweet you!
I don't have anything since I don't have you! |
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Why do Dominants promise the moon when all is asked for is common courtesy and honesty? |
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What part of "I do not do sex chat" is not understandable? Really! What happened to common courtesy and getting to know someone before diving into "sex me up, I need to jack off!"...geesh! |
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I made the mistake of going against my better judgement and agreed to do something that I didn't care for for the one I chose as my Master...what is the saying, "give an inch and He will take a mile"... I do not play with females, I tried it more than once (first time to see if I would like it, second to please my Master) and I disliked it both times and it bit me in the ass both times! I do not do poly! See above^...someone is always left out and I have enough stress and drama in my life without dealing with a jealous third party!
I broke another rule and got involved with a married Dom, everything he portrayed was what I had been searching for, hence me breaking several limits to please him...I do not lie, I will not abide a liar, I will not keep making excuses for someone else's behavior and let them treat me like I am beneath them...and then be told by my Master that I should let her do it to please him...that isn't going to work!
I am not looking, I am done for the time being with dealing with liars, wanna-be's, and those out to get their cocks sucked because the little woman at home won't touch them...grow a pair of balls and either straighten it out at home or leave! Don't be a pussy and string another along, even if they are willing, just so you can get a little creature comfort. Someone always gets hurt! |
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Just a few thoughts…
Honesty:
1) The quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
2) Truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
3) Freedom from deceit or fraud.
Truthfulness:
1) Telling the truth, especially habitually: a truthful person.
2) Conforming to truth: a truthful statement.
3) Corresponding with reality: a truthful portrait.
Veracity:
1) Habitual observance of truth in speech or statement; truthfulness: He was not noted for his veracity.
2) Conformity to truth or fact; accuracy: To question the veracity of his account.
3) Something veracious; a truth…
Trustworthy:
Deserving of trust or confidence; dependable; reliable.
Contradiction:
1) Assertion of the contrary or opposite; denial.
2) A statement or proposition that contradicts or denies another or itself and is logically incongruous.
3) Direct opposition between things compared; inconsistency.
4) A contradictory act, fact, etc.
Why is it so hard to tell the truth when dealing with others? Even small lies have a tendency to build walls that become so high that it is almost impossible to tear them down. Usually when caught in a lie, the liar must then create a new lie to cover the first lie…lies are hard to remember…and it becomes hard to remember which person you told which lie to…truth is so much easier, yet harder to obtain. Especially when dealing with the majority of people on this Web site.
Those who deal in lies find it hard to accept when another is telling them the truth. A person who is untrustworthy does not trust. Again, they judge by their habits. How does a person who contradicts his own statements within the same breath expect another to trust him? BDSM is based on trust, or at least it should be. A submissive/slave is expected to give over control to the Dominant and he/she MUST trust that the Dominant is going to honor his/her word…lies and contradictions undermine this very basic structure of the relationship. Omissions, while sometimes necessary to protect a person’s feelings, can create just as much damage as an outright lie.
Just something for those who might be interested in reading…just another dumb submissive's thoughts on the power of Domination that has, and is, being abused by those in charge…no wonder most of us are disillusioned…and it isn’t only the Dominants that are abusing the trust issues…submissive's and slaves alike are just as guilty!
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I wonder about these little "domme" twits, you know the kind, 20 something, demanding that a sub send them an Amazon gift card or money on PayPal, or demanding that they be addressed as "Miss" such and such...man, grow up, get a job, and learn to be a real person...how dang desperate, and misinformed, is the "sub" who answers crap like that?
That is as bad as these so-called "doms" who demand that a sub kiss their virtual arse in the first e-mail...or the 50 some odd year old "dom" who only wants the barely legal little twits...can we say Pedophile?
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I wonder what goes through the minds of these "Dom's" who will take the time to look at a profile and not say a word!
If they find it too harsh, or are they misguided in their thinking that I am a demanding person because I speak my mind?
Even if I am not interested in someone, but I've taken the time to read their profile, I try to leave a comment! Granted I have said I don't answer one word sentences, but really! If you find something bothersome in my musings, maybe it is because it struck a chord deep down inside because you see yourself in my musings~
What ever happened to common courtesy?
It is like dialing a wrong number...
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Well, it seems that for some reason the One who spoke so long about putting His collar around my neck has changed His mind and decided not to tell me...now why He didn't mention a problem when He was with me before He disappeared.
For those who have contacted me under my new ID, fallenang3l, I will be checking that profile, as well. Thanks to a friend I have my old ID back, since I hadn't checked it in almost 10 months and kind of forgot the password, lol.
Anyway, I guess that time will heal all wounds. That's what they say, anyway!
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I so happily belong to my Master, cannot wait until I am able to be with him, always!
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Met someOne who is really awesome this last weekend. "Hope springs eternal!"
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Dealing with some of the so-called Doms, I can see why some women are Domme's, and want to beat the holy shit out of men!
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So tired of the players... |
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Why do people like to "troll" so much, are you so afraid their is something just a smidge better out there somewhere?
Never satisfied with what is offered? |
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Wonder what goes through a person's mind when they read my profile and don't say a word to me!
Am I too blunt?
Am I too opinionated?
Would be nice to hear from a person, even if they aren't ideal, sex isn't the only reason people like to talk to others! |
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Maybe CM will be nice to me and set this one right, lol.
It is about time I say what I seek in a Dom. I prefer a taller Male. Looks are not truly important, it is the attitude and how You conduct Yourself with me and others.
Please be single, if you are married, don't waste O/our time. Smoke and drug free, do not drink in excess (preferably not at all!)
Intelligent, One who is not threatened by a female that actually has something besides air between her ears.
A sense of humor. A definite must, especially since I'm a bit of brat!
While I enjoy some pain, and humilition can have it's place, I am not one to take it outside of it's sphere.
I am not a door mat, I do expect a bit of common courtesy. Don't tell me you like what I say or want to consider me and then disappear or stop talking without telling me why or what happened.
ABOVE ALL...be honest...with me, with yourself, with anyone you might deal with. If I can't trust your word, I sure as Hedouble hockey sticks cant' trust anything about you!
If I haven't just totally peeved ya off, drop me a line if You want to know anymore! |
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What happened to common courtesy? If you expect me to respect you, please be respectful of me. I am not your doormat. |
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I have updated my profile. While I am not looking for anything at the moment, it does not hurt to say what I like or dislike.
I am still very new in the lifestyle, which is why I didn't put down any likes or dislikes in those catagories. I only have a few things that I consider "hard limits" and I am curious about a lot of things.
Right now, though, I think I'll just sit back, enjoy my friends, old and new...and just breath.
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I have borrowed this from another sub's profile, with her permission. Her musings are so apt and I highly commend her time and artistic input. Thank you Sweeeet for giving permission for me to use your definition of a Dom.
The Yak-Yak Dom: This is the guy who hasn't a clue about anything other than the stuff they read. They want to talk about it, probably while sitting near naked in front of a computer screen pulling their pud. You will never meet this Dom.
The Spanker Dom: This is the guy who tells you they are dominant because they like to spank your ass during sex. They think it's kinky and makes them a part of an elite club. They probably belonged to the chess club.
The Big Lots Dom: This is the guy who is too ashamed to actually purchase real toys but will go to the store, at different intervals, and buy things like clothespins, candles and rope. They might even have an old ping pong paddle laying around, but prefer their brown belt they wear to work.
The Possesive Dom: This is the guy who tells you via email, usually after the first contact or so, that you are his and you have to remove yourself from being available or put that you belong to him in your profile. Granted you haven't even met him yet.
The One Hit Wonder Dom: This is the guy who puts the most effort into meeting someone. Says the right things, does the right things, wines and dines you, gets into your head. When you finally let him into your bed, you never hear from him again.
The Guilty Dom: This is the guy who secretly hates women but loves his mother. He will call you all kinds of names and likes rough sex because women are the lesser sex in his mind. He feels more manly during this but he always apologizes afterwards.
The Why I Oughta Dom: This is the guy who tells you what he's going to do to you. More than likely, he reads a lot of Penthouse Forum. This is a fantasy, he's more graphic and less scientific than the Yak Yak Dom.
The Chief Minipipi Dom: This is the guy who thinks that by claiming he's a Dom it will make up for the fact that he can no longer get a hard on or that his definition of "big cock" is the fattest chicken at Publix.
The Buy Dom: and no, it's not a typo, I did not mean Bi! This is the guy who wants you to buy him stuff because he's a Dom. He probably lives with his mom and if you go anywhere you have to pick him up.
The Midnight Dom: This is the guy who happened upon this website when he wasn't getting any play on onlinebootycall! He's not a dom and he'll tell you that. He's just looking for easy but he doesn't have to tell you that, it's obvious!
The Looker Dom: This is the guy who will look at your profile over and over but never even say hello. Gotta love the Who's Viewing Me feature!
The Boy Wonder Dom: This is the guy who is the epitome of Gen X. Young, dumb and full of ________ (you fill in the blank). They are usually arrogant and ignorant and feel you should submit because that's what they want.
The Ready Maid Dom: This is the guy who really just wants someone to pick his dirty underwear up off the floor and clean his house. If you can cook, that's a plus. Oh, and sex on demand, once you're done.
The Control Freak Dom: This is the guy who is so eager to control you it's scary. He usually has no job, no car, no visible means of support and is usually "in transition" aka sleeping on a friend's couch.
The Domignat: This is the guy who buzzes around you like a gnat, you can't shoo him away and he's just as annoying!!!
***Dickclaimer - any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is strictly coincidental. If you see yourself in any of these, well, it isn't so!*** Will a REAL Dominant please stand up! |
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Well, looks like I am not what he wants, after all. So tired of the BS. Really wonder if there is anyone out there that is real...I see all kinds of "Dom's" that say the women they talk to aren't real... |
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| Age: 28 |
| London,
Canada |
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