Collarspace.com

Friends:
** my goal is a relationship, not getting off **

what this means to you is talk to me like a person about me as a person and NOT my kinkswhat gets me off.



BE AS INTERESTED IN MY DAY AS YOU ARE THE KINKY THINGS. BE A NICE PERSON WITH COMPASSION. you really can be that AND be a dominantmaster.



i dont know of any way to be more clear or more simple in saying it.



as fyi - i DO NOT HAVE KIK!! so lets not start conversation with that







also towards that i find that emailtext isnt a great way to start to get to know someone. theres too high a failure rate due to not knowing what the other person meant. someone tries to be funny, someone else reads it snarky etc.



i want to have a voice-to-voice conversation (via phone or skype number) SOON to help establish understanding and tonality etc.



there was a day recently when i discovered my car was damaged by thieves. i would have liked a steadying hand from someone as i navigated the very unfamiliar processes of police reports, insurance claims and then resulting auto repair decisions.

there was another day when being able to talk through two different job opportunities in front of me would have been nice. i suppose in my younger days i would have called my dad.



submission for me isnt something demanded or disciplined or in need of meaningless rules. it is about being vulnerable in ways that have absolutely nothing to do with toys. to that end, my dominant should be the one i WANT to turn to first and that cant happen if there is fear.



towards vanilla interests - i am not a clubbing fishnets kind of girl and dont see that changing. who i am right now likes farmers markets browsing a consignment store eating in -- eating out! ive recently discovered older movies (meaning pre-1970) and really enjoy them!



I REALLY enjoy being a HYPNOSIS SUBJECT and want it back in my life


2/26/2018 4:33:46 AM
All you doms beating your chest with:  you will obey me!!  Statements

Apparently you miss the idea that following you will happen without the demand.  

Some of us want to follow and will naturally fall in line if you actually lead, instead of screaming for compliance. 

6/30/2017 6:46:59 AM
not my blog but oh so VERY YESSS!!!!!    


http://girlyjuice.net/5-ways-flirt-submissive/
1/15/2017 4:41:58 PM

there's a book written for business managers about leadership the concepts of which i think carry over to m/s very well. its unfortunate that only kink books are ever recommended for reading because the principles are the same. one of the more interesting concepts the author presents is "leadership is a service". if people could avoid being triggered by the word service and their biases as to what it is or isnt - there's a lot to be learned.

one of the more interesting illustrations in the book is about this company. they kept the parts for their equipment in a locked cage and staff had to stand in line to request a part (the implemented STRICT CONTROL). a new ceo came in and did away with the locked cage. without changing materials or suppliers etc. the company saw substantially increased profit. why?

by removing the cage, minor repairs were done sooner. they made it easier for the staff to do the job. because of this the big costly repairs were decreased. the reliability of the equipment was increased - they had more up time! more up time = more production + less repair costs = increased profits.

on an emotional level - the employees felt trusted and empowered to do their job. there's an exponential payoff to building someone UP instead of tearing them down. people who feel appreciated will usually do MORE.

management did not change their role. they were still the bosses and still drove the decisions. they set the goals and direction of the company. yet they reduced their level of control and got more results than they ever expected they could.

taking charge vs taking over

sometimes the best way to control things is to NOT

9/20/2016 4:01:16 PM

all you folks who write "height & weight proportionate" should stop and realize that a person having ANY height and weight is a automatically proportion.

meaning:  someone three feet tall and three feet wide is a 1:1 proportion.

you aren't saying what you're trying to
5/30/2012 9:24:14 AM

d/s relationship

 

there are TWO components there...

 

one is d/s - that is sir, that is letting go, that is control, authority, deference and if one is so blessed with proximity - being spanked and hair pulled

 

and then there's relationship - caring, concern.  yes emotions and yes even from a man!  this is listening to how i got a flat tire, being patient when i cry about it and teaching me how to buy a new tire.   relationship is accepting and valuing me, THE WHOLE PERSON.   without this component you may be allowed to use the body, but will NEVER touch the soul and will never receive genuine submission

 

while its not a game of cards, d/s relationship is knowing when to hold them, when to fold them

 

note relationship does not mention 401ks; religion;  mothers or other such typical trappings of a relationship.   a true relationship is based on what you do, how you treat the person -- what is experienced with the person  and said feelings do not automatically mandate including such mainstream stereotypical markings.   

 

two people can be wholly connected, wholly care and not have their lives wholly entwined.  or maybe its just more realistic to say that the entwinement of 401ks and mothers does not matter one whit in the reality of a genuine relationship.

 

submission is the soul unmasked... does not dominance have potential to be the same? for they are of the same coin. is it honestly viable for a man to be that vulnerable? and if the degree of his unmasking is matched equally by the submission he receive, is he truly vulnerable?

 

 

 

 

5/1/2012 6:06:58 PM

regarding photos

 

 

if you have chosen to post your picture or to send it to me unrequested, that was YOUR decision

 

that decision made by you does not mean i am obligated to automatically reciprocate.

 

that decision made by you does not have any influence as to how or when i make MY decision to send you MY picture.

 

anymore than your choice to eat pepperoni pizza does not in any fashion influence my choice to abstain.

 

if this philosophy bothers you then by all means - walk away without snark or bitchiness.

 

 

11/15/2011 2:05:03 PM

masters/doms all state very clearly they expect to be given obedience and i'm ok with that.

 

but there's something missing...

 

do you d and m types have any idea how much a submissive/slave can desire to take care of you?   to be allowed to GIVE to you not just what you ask for, but also what they see or anticipate for you.

 

i guess most of the ads i'm reading has a subtext of "i will tell you the box that you will fit into no matter what"   and  i'm left wondering -- where is the room for what i bring to the table?  for my gifts and offerings?  and i dont mean the damn blowjobs.

 

care its a verb, its what you do -- ive yet to read an ad where its stated i'll be allowed to do that 

11/18/2008 8:25:45 PM
submit - to yield to the will of another

so a fem sub sitting at the feet of the male dom; she is yielding to his will, his want.  but has she submitted if its the place that she wanted to be?  could it be said she has yielded to her own will and want and fortunately it coincides with what he willed and wanted. 


8/31/2008 6:39:09 AM
ever see a puppy?   a puppy so completely thrilled by something - be it seing its owner, or new company that the enthusiasm and eagerness causes the bundle of fur to wriggle and squiggle and the sheer joy of the moment can't possibly be contained in the small body - it wriggles, squiggles, bounces and yes sometimes pees.

can you berate or beat the dog for peeing? absolutely.  but should you?   the dog doesn't realize it peed.  all it knows is how completely overjoyed it was in the moment.

a wise owner recognizes the behavior for what it is and redirects the dog to meeting new visitors outside, or putting down pads at the entranceway. 

the owner recognizes that as the puppy grows, the intensity of the enthusiasm will mellow and the peeing will stop.  the puppy will be guided into acceptable behaviors without having its joy and eagerness beaten out of existance.
8/9/2008 7:32:36 AM

the curiosity is killing me... do doms feel an actual need to dominate?  or is it just a want?   

i could have a steak dinner but i'm just as ok with pasta....    or   NOTHING but NOTHING is going to satiate my hunger except for steak dinner and i'll not stop until i get it just the way i like it

2/5/2008 3:51:57 PM
have to 'fess up - i find it funny as hell when someone writes about how they are a dominate

there absolutely is more to life than painstakingly accurate grammar but i can't help be reminded of the old joke 'last week i couldn't spell aingeneer and this week i are one'

and for those left wondering, dominate is a verb - a doing word.  its like saying "i am a blink"
NissanChick
 
 Age: 31
 Palm spring, California