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SDI2007

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-Put this in your profile if you know someone who has survived or died of cancer I am someone that knows what I want, when I want it, and is confident enough to go after it. I have lived and will continue to live a alternative life style 24/7. I have been involved in this for about 8 years now.
I am intellectual and I surround myself with those that can intrigue my mind. Those people will capture my attention and focus. For me, this lifestyle is a daily connection and interaction. A D/s relationship is deep and meaningful that goes way beyond any relationship one might have in the vanilla arena. That said, this lifestyle takes trust, communication, and a willingness to explore. Without trust or communication the relationship just becomes about kinky sex which to me is less than 5% of the D/s dynamic. The other main component of a deep D/s relationship is "vanilla" life -- I wish I could say that I am a multi-millionaire and not have to worry about daily life but that is not the case and therefore everyday life with everyday people will bleed into the relationship. With that said whatever D/s relationship must account for those daily vanilla interactions. Albeit there can be very subtle connections that will be transparent to others yet remain part of the connection in the D/s dynamic between the people involved.
There are many, many facets of this type of relationship I enjoy and that exhilarate me. That energy is surely returned to the one I am connected with. Japanese Rope Bondage is my favorite activity. For me taking the hours to precisely tie is a huge release of energy -- It enables me to focus intensely on the subject letting go of all the daily grind frustrations that occurred.
Outside the lifestyle I have many interests ranging from hiking, climbing, to just sitting back and relaxing, to reading and going to theater shows. I am co-owner of a construction company currently with several development projects in new rochelle. .

I am seeking a true female slave/submissive. One that understands the commitment, focus, and energy involved in given oneself. I am fully aware of the commitment to this from one whom I take as property. If you think you may have the inner commitment, we will talk, and from there possibilities are open. If you just want to have an intriguing intellectual conversation I am open for that as well. Capture my attention and I doubt I will be quiet lol.


The one I find that will respect and honor the commitment of this life. I am strict and disciplined when needed. Likewise understanding and caring when needed as well.

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11/5/2010 6:48:55 AM

RIP Evan Santiago 6/4/2010 - 10/30/2010 -- Your time was brief but powerful before you we called back to your maker.


10/1/2010 6:17:51 PM
Building a new mobile X-Board. Should have it done in a few days. Adding electrical connection ports for easy electric stimulation. I hate wire tangles...lol

9/30/2010 9:55:11 AM
There was a gem found in the time spent. So it was well spent. All of are human and are capable of error. The question is what is done after. If nothing is done the error will repeat. In order to grow one must change. Sometimes to figure out what was not seen only takes a word or a phrase. Thanks to cyn and our conversations I realized something that I did not see -- or chose not to see.



9/27/2010 9:14:45 PM
Well the search continues after another potential -- the question remains was it a waste of time or is there a gem of knowledge contained in  the time spent. That will have to be analyzed and determined at a later date.

9/13/2010 3:22:57 AM
Well a memorial service for my Dad this weekend went well. Many people showed up. People I haven't seen in a long time.

8/23/2010 8:59:03 PM
Almost a year from my dad passing -- so many challenges, so many unexpected  turns. I stepped away from cm and my search -- too many burdens both emotional and physical. More things I will have to confront in the next few months. More inner demons to face. Those are the toughest since they are not physical, they are formless manifestations.  The trepidation of what is to come is sometimes harder than when an event actually occurs.

12/7/2009 2:54:03 PM
Just had to put my dad's dog, Leo, down. Another tough challenge for me emotionally -- although I am and have been feeling numb the last several weeks.

11/27/2009 3:33:43 AM
Thanksgiving came and went. First holiday without my dad and it was tough. My dad's dog, Leo, is not doing well. He is a pure bred golden retriever. The past week he has been getting worse. I don't expect him to make it the day. It is rough on my Mom. Another part of my Dad. Leo was always with my Dad. Going on the job sites. Climbing up on the dash of my Dad's truck when he was a puppy. (later on when he was older he tried the same thing -- albeit he didn't fit -- so 3 windshields later my dad finally got him not to do that.) It is hard, too hard. He is such a part of my Dad's life. I will post a picture of my Dad and Leo soon.


10/28/2009 8:19:09 PM
Well today was my birthday and I did nothing but work. Didn't do anything else. I guess I can't expect the parade every year. lol Received a txt message from my mom as birthday card..."Happy Birthday, see I am now in the 21st century, luv mom" lol she kills me.

Also a friend of mine made a great connection with someone. I am happy for her and I hope it grows deeper and more powerful. 

10/18/2009 5:18:30 PM
Tired, So very tired of the games people play.

10/17/2009 1:07:46 PM
Mom is back from the hospital -- dozens of tests nothing found. No answer as to why she passed out or why her blood pressure fluctuated.... dozen doctors -- years of combined medical training..... and the best they can do is "I don't know".....

10/15/2009 4:36:06 PM
My mom passed out today and is in the hospital tonight. They are running tests. She is ok but they have concerns. I do not know if I have the strength to be strong for her. It is allot for me right now just after losing my father. I am in a daze with all of this.

9/20/2009 6:41:37 AM
Family friends had a remembrance  for my father last night. It was nice. The wound is still sore and my thoughts are of him when I close my eyes.

9/18/2009 11:07:57 AM
Condolences and thoughts are still arriving. Relatives and friends overseas just hearing of my father's passing are sending their thoughts and prayers. So many people cared so much it reaffirms my faith in the world.

9/17/2009 5:53:50 PM
how come no one ever teaches how to deal with all the paperwork after someone passes. i.e. social security, medicare, transfer car titles and insurance etc. Have to go to county office and town hall.... tons of things to do.

9/16/2009 6:25:43 PM
Life doesn't stop when a curve occurs. Just becomes a point of reference when going forward to always look back on.

9/16/2009 5:08:46 PM
Just got done with a 4 1/2 hour meeting -- from 3:30 to 8. My mind was drifting the entire time. I am trying to focus but I am having much difficulty.

9/16/2009 11:45:53 AM
Tough to get into a routine again -- I find my mind drifting much more than I am used to. The past and the future all jumbled in the present.

9/16/2009 9:16:02 AM
My uncle just left back to New Mexico -- Now I am the only one here for my mom. It is tough we both break down crying - she is going through a tough time -- "if I only pushed him to go to the hospital or doctor sooner maybe it would have...." The should have would have could have thoughts are the toughest to deal with.

9/15/2009 6:31:06 AM
As a remembrance I put on my photos 2 of my dad's carvings.

9/15/2009 5:29:33 AM
Life goes on. He will be remembered. Thank you all for your outpouring of support. It was appreciated more than you know.

Steve

9/13/2009 11:05:45 PM
This evening was the wake and tomorrow will be the mass. The wake tonight was hard yet it was like a trip down memory lane. People I haven't seen since I was as tall as my fathers waist came. i  didn't realize just how many lives my father touched with his giving nature. I felt proud that my dad was such a good person that all these people were touched by him in a profound way.

9/13/2009 5:15:12 AM
I made my dad's urn Friday and Saturday. It was probably the hardest thing I ever did. I hope he would have liked it. I added it to my pictures. I miss him already.

9/12/2009 1:59:48 AM
The hardest thing is thinking he is still around then realizing he has passed.

9/10/2009 6:18:04 PM

Patron of Carpenters

Dear Saint, you are the Patron of the family of the Church. God chose you to be the head and protector of the Holy Family of Nazareth. You chose to do a carpenter's work which made some say about Jesus: "Is He not the carpenter's son?" Deign to bless and encourage carpenters whose work is so much like yours. Amen.


9/10/2009 1:16:51 PM
My father passed today at 3:30pm. He worked is entire life as a carpenter. He did allot for many people he will be remembered. His workday is done, Dad, rest in peace.

9/9/2009 5:21:58 PM
There is too much damage to my fathers brain due to lack of oxygen. We do not expect him to make it through the weekend.

Life is change. Although we do not accept change readily sometimes it is thrust upon us.

9/8/2009 8:43:45 AM
My dad just had a major heart attack. He is stable but still unconscious. Please pray for him. thank you.

8/29/2009 7:28:20 PM
One fact I was not aware of is right outside the main city of Pittsburgh there are hills with steps that are actually streets -- yes the steps are streets. Go Figure.

8/29/2009 7:26:43 PM
To think that NY had hills....not --- Pittsburgh is all hills -- everywhere -- you are either up or down -- never on a level lol

8/27/2009 5:44:49 PM
Finally back in NY -- The highlight of the trip was my niece -- 21 months old and talks up a storm....Uncle Steve had to set her animals up every morning....

7/22/2009 8:26:08 PM
should have taken my grandfather's advice when he was alive.... never do any work for family exept your own......Is regret part of the family equation?

2/11/2009 5:18:20 PM
I think I will be starting a new web site for Doms listing profiles of all those on this site who are rude, fake, and/or otherwise a wannabe sub/slave. As much as females are probably deluged with emails -- it is equally frustrating for those are actively seeking and are real to have deal with the whimsical bs of those on here.

2/11/2009 4:30:45 PM
Just added a new main photo -- will be updated as soon as it is approved -- based off a conversation I had today :)

10/29/2007 10:21:44 AM
Don't like the thoughts running through my head right now so I am going to collect and sort through them -- Introspection and analysis of one's actions is always a good thing for it yeilds insight and opens future possibility.

10/29/2007 7:18:42 AM
Well the universe shifts in mysterious ways. I like to sometimes think of this journey as all of us as asteroids traveling through the cosmos. All the motion of them all travelling in close proximaty; all going in relatively the same direction yet each having thier own unique path-- sometimes you are alongside one for a brief instant. With luck you end up travelling with one for a long time -- exerting that gravitational influence on each other. But even if it was for that brief instant my life and my path has been enriched.

10/19/2007 6:05:36 PM

Why do we sometimes hurt people we don't want to hurt? When left will a choice of two evils we try and choose the lesser of 2 but either choice does cause pain. This quandry shall occupy my mind now and in the future.


10/11/2007 6:32:05 PM

I think I would be the poster child for OSHA on what not to do when working with High Voltage lol Arm was numb for over an hour -- Felt like Homer Simpson Duh what did I do that for? lol


10/10/2007 10:47:43 AM
Sometimes it is amazing how things occur when and how you need them to occur. IT also amazes me how perspectives and situations can change within a day. With that based on a new situation looks like I will be moving to Manhatten in short order since I will need to be there. Most likely will be communting to a lab outside of NYC. Funny how things work out.

10/10/2007 3:05:42 AM
It was recently pointed out to me that my profile reads with a certain tone of impatience. I am going to review my profile to clarify, update, and remove some of that underlying impatiance. To clarify in this journal I have infinite patiance when it comes to many things, save a few. Those few being plain ignorance (not to  be confused with inexperience, ones' fears, or lack of understanding) -- just people who make general assumptions, comment, and actions without thinking about what they say or do. The second main thing I have little or no patiance for is game players that waste time and energy. That goes for peopel who say they are past playing games but are still wholely immersed in it. 

10/8/2007 1:34:02 PM
Just updated my pics with those taken about a week ago. Maybe the only good thing that came out of a collassal waste of time and effort -- So they should up as soon as they are approved.

10/7/2007 8:30:16 AM
You would think in this day in age you can easily purchase tickets, get an online receipt, and give it to someone so that they can use them easily. But no, had bought a couple of tickets online then couldn't use them (rather a interesting story but suffice to say that where I thought something was real it turned out to be fiction like so many on this site). Well to make long story had to drive to the city, show the card I used to purchase them, retrieve the tickets and give them to my friend so he could use them, then drive back. So much for fast and effecient digital world.

10/6/2007 6:09:47 PM
That was a quick turn. That is ok though - no attachment to the outcome -- when someone is confronted with a multitude of thoughts it is always best to remember that a Dom should be a guide on that journey even if it leads a sub to another. That is what I believe and a true awareness of who I am as a person, a mentor, a Dom is what focuses my mind. It is interesting how some try to diminish and deflect thier true motivations with flowery words or flattery. However in listening intently with keen observation on the order and actions of occurance motivations are clearly decerned.

10/4/2007 8:33:15 PM
It is interesting how life can be a rollercoaster. Ya know it when that turn suddenly appears with open possibility and everything seems exhilarating, in work and in life. Decided to start the journal fresh, letting go of the past ramblings and looking to the future of possibility wherever it will lead.

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LindaBDSM
 
 Age: 36
 Ontario, Canada