4/15/2024 11:23:36 AM: A Night Out at Club Awakening After being active in attending events for around 6 years (well...minus those covid years)...i FINALLY made it out to Club Awakening at Sanctuary LAX last night!!! It was great to be back at Sanctuary and see it in full swing for a Play Party. i especially enjoyed observing how lostnfound1 ran/hosted the event. And how large the volunteer team was...WOW! It says volumes about her reputation and legacy to see such a large team of dedicated, experienced volunteers helping out at this monthly party. For those that don't know, Club Awakening is geared towards 'Newbies' to the Kink/BDSM Scene. There is a potluck/snacks, a featured vendor, plus 'tasting/demo booths'. Oh and also a raffle! i got a free ticket for arriving early PLUS 5 extra tickets for bringing a potluck item. The demo booths for the month were: Flogging, Canes/Crops/Paddles, Spanking, Rope and Saran Wrap Suspensions. It was fun watching some of the Saran Wrap demos. But...i was not there to watch demos, i was there to PLAY!! As soon as the play rooms opened, SirGrail and i found a suitable station and started our scene. It's been great seeing his progress from his first-ever 'scene' and 'practice negotiation' til now. As he gets more comfortable with his implements, and with me, i notice he is getting more confident. And mean (not that i'm mad about it, but just sayin' LOL)! Our scene was great and i didn't want it to end. But eventually, it did and i felt so relaxed and lighter than a puffy cloud on a sunny day. After our scene we sat in the main room for a while and talked. Unlike some play parties i have been to, i was glad they didn't have the music up too loud. We were able to talk a while and enjoy each other's company before it was time to go. Thank you to all at Sanctuary and all of Club Awakening's staff & volunteers. If you are new to Kink/BDSM (or not so new) this is a nice party to check out!

4/11/2024 3:09:49 PM: i ended up compiling around 50 trivia questions for my recent Kinky Trivia Game that we played at my monthly Munch last week. It went pretty well and was a good learning experience for me.    For those that are interested, here is a link where you can see all 50 questions that were asked at the Munch.    Also, thank you to my friend BikiniSub for contributing some of the questions!!    Writing by pomonagirl | FetLife

4/5/2024 8:55:19 AM: Who has the power in a D/s relationship? Well. That's a very nuanced topic to be sure. i do not have the most experience with D/s relationships (i have mostly done Top/bottom type play) but...what little experience i have...i prefer to focus on the beauty of the symbiosis that can occur within this type of relationship. The Dominant leads because they enjoy leading, and the submissive follows because they enjoy following. Ideally, this symbiosis feeds into itself and the relationship can grow and strengthen into something unique and profound that nurtures the soul of all involved. All else is semantics, gradients, and details left up to the individual people involved in the relationship. Of course this is a very short writing on a very large topic and is meant to be a small thought about the nature of D/s relationships and not a treatise on Power Exchange in general.

3/12/2024 11:21:25 AM: i hesitate to call myself 'lucky' because i am where i am due to my own choices, priorities, courage, work and perseverance. But yesterday was one of those lucky days where i got to spend time in not just one, but two Dungeons. 'From the Mountains to the Beaches' says some California Tourist Brochure somewhere, probably. And yesterday it was an absolute privilege to travel from Serenity Studios in Riverside all the way to 910WeHo in West Hollywood. i hadn't planned it that way: i had already committed to attending 910WeHo with a Dominant friend of mine. But once i saw the listing for Sir Ezra's 'Mindfucking Mindfully' class at Serenity scheduled for the same night, i just couldn't pass up the opportunity to hear his presentation and take the opportunity to say goodbye to him as he makes the move back to the east coast. PS, if you haven't read his book, it's worth checking out. After the class presentation i had to rush off to prepare for the play party at 910. Fueled by tacos, caffeine and good music, my friend and i headed back onto the freeway, westward bound this time. We had a great time at the play party. my friend is a member of a Leather Family and they all were in attendance. Plus some other of our mutual friends. It was a new experience for me, going to a party with a friend group. A lot has changed for me---is changing for me---and i am looking at WHY i attend play parties...why and in what circumstances are they worth it for me. So the different experience of going with a group, of doing a scene with my friend, of running into other friends. Of having a long, meaningful conversation with someone i know through another munch group. Of seeing a new friend all wrapped up in her play and intimate space with a partner. Of seeing some people that i admire in their element and with their best foot forward. Of having the experience of going to an all night diner with the Leather Family & friend group after the party. A part of me...still just misses the Lair and the pre-covid momentum i was gaining there. A part of me still pines for that place and those days. But last night was good, too. i can't relive the past but i can go forward with an attitude to embrace new experiences, new people and new connections. If 'luck' isn't just a series of coincidences that ends up in a good situation...If 'luck' is positioning yourself to end up in good situations... Then yes, i am lucky indeed.

3/5/2024 11:59:42 AM: No matter what side of the slash we are on----the best Dominants, submissive, switches and other varieties of Deviant Kinksters are what you might call 'People Pleasers'. People that strive to make others comfortable. People that always look to leave a place (or person) in better condition than they found it. People with empathy, compassion and a kind-hearted spirit.  Sadly, this combination of personality traits also often comes with a hard time saying 'No'. In Kink/BDSM, the inability to say 'No' can lead to some not-so-fun experiences. From mildly uncomfortable conversations, to being pressured to give someone personal information, to finding yourself tied up by a person that you do not fully trust, to worse.  As a 'People Pleaser' type myself, saying 'No' did not always come naturally. i had to actively work on it and it was through a lot of maturing, life experiences (both good and bad), and learning how to draw boundaries that saying 'No' became easier.  There's so much i could say on this topic but for now i just want anyone who is reading this to know:  Learning to say 'No' is one of the most important things you will learn in Kink/BDSM. Never hesitate to say 'No' if you don't want to talk to someone (or leave a conversation)...to hug someone....to give someone your name, phone number or other personal information. Always say 'No' if you do not want to play with someone, always say 'No' if you do not want to meet someone for a coffee or date.   We often refer to our interests and life within Kink/BDSM as a 'Journey' and learning to say 'No' is an extremely important part of this journey. It isn't always easy, and is much harder for some people than others, but it IS something that gets easier with practice.  If you are new (or not so new!) to Kink/BDSM and find yourself struggling to say 'No', PRACTICE!!! Visualize a conversation with someone and say 'No' out loud to their questions.  Or hook up with a trusted friend and do a role play conversation. Believe me, just saying the words out loud will make it much easier when you are confronted with an unwanted situation or interaction out in the real world.  ______ Related Topic: [Don't Discount Something, Even if it was 'Just a Minor Thing.'](https://fetlife.com/users/7620563/posts/10566664)