Coming back to this site is like visiting an old friend. Granted I only visit this old friend when I find myself single. Whether or not I find a partner it is always nice to talk to like minded people and not worry about filtering myself.
I find myself evolving each year in this lifestyle and what I am looking for. As I get older and find out about myself more I find what I am looking for evolves also.
One thing that hasn't changed is that I am a sadist. I enjoy inflicting physical pain and fucking with a sub's mind. The amount of pain I inflict depends on you. I'm evolved enough to know that not everyone will fit into one specific category. Plus I most definitely don't want to limit my options by stating you have to fit into a specific mold and if you don't move on.
The biggest thrill I get is when I snake my way into a sub's mind and make it my play ground. Chastity is fun and so is bondage but to get the ultimate control to me is to get control of a sub's mind. Once I have control of the mind everything else follows. The physical restraints are fun but the mental is what gives me my power trip. Even in the vanilla world I need my mind stimulated to make me really enjoy something/someone.
I'm looking for long term and in person. Online is fine to get to know someone but at some point it needs to become in person. Distance with in reason isn't that big of a deal IF you're sincere. I'm also not looking to relocate since I really love where I live. However I'm not completely against it for the right person and the right situation. Again I don't want to limit myself if the perfect sub absolutely could not relocate.
The submissive I'm looking for must add to my life and not take away from it. I don't need anyone but I do want someone. I want to grow as a person and as a dominant with my submissive. I want to learn as life carries me down the river that I'm floating down. I don't want someone who always wants to work against the current. Yes, sometimes life requires that but life shouldn't always be a struggle. I want to enrich his life as much as he enriches mine.
If you think women are superior than you merely because of the difference in genitals, I would not be what you're looking and you definitely are not what I am looking for. That's not the mindset I can appreciate. I want someone who has a brain, isn't afraid to use his brain and realizes he can be my equal even if he chooses not to be so to speak because of the roles we chose in our relationship. I want you to think for yourself, I want you to use your brain, I want to be able to bounce ideas off you, I want you to be able to make suggestions or bring up ideas, I want to be able to have conversations - two way conversations. I have pets if I want to have one sided conversations.
The perfect relationship for me is with someone I can enjoy the vanilla with the kink. I have no desire to spend 100% of my time in one world or the other. I want to be able to fluidly move from one to the other and right back and I want someone who can manage the same. Does it have to be seamless, no, life is never that easy but someone who can adjust when the situations calls for it without being told is the one that fits for me. I'm not one to micromanage, sometimes it can be fun but all the time is exhausting since I have my own life to live as well.
As far as vanilla activities I enjoy travelling when I have the time and funds at the same time, photography, cooking/baking, reading, anything outside in the summer and very little outside in the winter, painting, gardening, movies, training my dogs, spending time with friends and family, volunteering, drawing, and writing. There's more but rather than simply making a list you can find out organically through chatting with me.
I also will put a list of kinks since that's what we're all here for. Bondage, blindfolds, pegging, chastity, tease/denial, paddles/crop/floggers/whips, I'm a biter, cross dressing, gags, queening, mummification, sensory deprivation, I do like to play outdoors and live where this can be done so the world can't see, hoods, wax play, and if you can give massages and pedicures you'll be at the top of my list. Again, not a full list just some of the biggies.
Obviously this isn't a complete biography of who I am or what I am looking for. However what I have put down should be enough to determine if you're interested and would be a potential fit into what I am looking for. If you are feel free to drop me a message and if not best of luck in your search.