Again with the bad dating scene...it is almost enough to put me off men altogether!

This might be a sex website and I might not be the virgin next door (who is probably a frigid bitch anyway) but I still deserve a modicum of courtesy and respect. Maybe I am just old fashioned, but it drives me batshit crazy when I spend time talking to a guy, trying to figure out if we are compatible, find a kid-free evening (not easy, let me tell you) and offer to meet him for the evening and he suggests coffee and when I balk at that, he says he would be willing to go for a soft drink.

Look, if you aren't willing to take me on a real date, why are you even here? You don't have to buy me steak at a 5 star restaurant but it better not be fast food either. If you asked the girl next door out on a date, where would you take her? And why would you not extend the same courtesy to me, especially knowing that I am not a frigid bitch and your sex life will blow you away if I like you.

I am not a gold digger, nor am I rich, but I probably make more money than most of the guys on here. And, in the future, if we ever have a future, I would treat at least as often as you. And if, the goddess willing, we evolve into a relationship, likely any guy I end up with would benefit from my financial well being much more than I benefit from his.

So guys...even if you are just looking for sex and not a relationship, at least take her out on a date first. Believe me, you will reap the rewards of a happy partner, rather than one who you just insulted by unintentionally (or intentionally what do I know?) suggesting she is not worth more than the cost of a coke.

Update to the worst vanilla date ever!

I don't believe in just fading away so I texted him today thanking him for meeting me but that I didn't think we were compatible and I wished him good luck.

About 5 minutes later, he calls me to tell me that my pictures were old and inaccurate, and I was at least 30 pounds heavier than my pics. I am actually about 10 pounds lighter and my pics are all recent, within the last 6 months. He said if he had known what I actually looked like he would not have met me. I told him goodbye and hung up.

So this rude guy actually thought he needed to have the last word and show me who is dumping who!

It must be ok to be rude and obnoxious but not a few pounds overweight. And he wasn't even good looking, albeit fairly fit for a 50 year old.

I so wish we could post comments on vanilla dating sites so I can warn other women that he is not a nice guy and very superficial.

Anther bad date:

I occasionally go on vanilla dates and thought I would write about what happened on my last one. And just to reiterate from my last post, I think this trend of internet dating (both vanilla and kink) where you meet first, maybe for coffee or a drink, before deciding to go out is horrible. If you can’t commit to an hour and a meal based on my profile then why are you talking to me at all? You are not worth my time. I am not a gold digger (and if I were one, a meal isn't going to cut it anyway, lol) but I deserve some basic respect as a woman and I am just old fashioned enough that I think the guy should buy the first time. It doesn’t have to be a fancy or expensive but it should not be McDonald’s either.

Anyway, I meet what seems like a nice guy. He asked me what would be a good time to meet and I said lunch works best for me so he suggested Panera Bread at 2 pm. I am thinking that is late for lunch but I am flexible so that is fine. The morning of he texts me to say that he can meet at 1:30 instead if that works for me, which yes it does.

We get there about the same time and after greeting each other, we go up to the counter where he says to the clerk, I just want a drink. Um, ok. Now I am stuck. Do I order just a drink and starve? I haven’t eaten since breakfast so I go ahead and order a half of a sandwich and a drink. He pulls out his wallet and says that it will be separate check as he only has $6.00 on him. The lady at the counter is like, um, I have already rung it up. So I pipe up that I will buy his drink, and I am thinking that this is not going well at all.

After getting my food, we sit down and start talking while I am attempting to eat like all this is normal. A few minutes later, I notice his eyes are shut but he opens them up right away and continues talking. I figure it was nothing. A few minutes after that, he shuts his eyes again and his head starts to bob like he is falling asleep. I give him a minute but nothing happens except his chin starts to sag down to his chest so I kind of clear my throat which wakes him up. At this point, I decide I have had enough and tell him thanks for meeting me but I have to go.

And this is an oral surgeon in his early 50’s so someone who should have better manners.

Again, what the fuck is wrong with you dude?

Worst Date Ever:

First of all, I think this trend of internet dating (both vanilla and kink) where you meet first, maybe for coffee or a drink, before deciding to go out is horrible. If you can’t commit to an hour and a meal based on my profile then why are you talking to me at all? You are not worth my time. I am not a gold digger (and if I were one, a meal isn't going to cut it anyway, lol) but I deserve some basic respect as a woman and I am just old fashioned enough that I think the guy should buy the first time. It doesn’t have to be a fancy or expensive but it should not be McDonald’s either.

Anyway, I agree to meet this possible new Dom. He asked me to wear something revealing. I dress pretty conservatively and don't really have any public clothes that are revealing (private is different, lol) but he insists. So, I grab a fancy bra and a sheer overlay top. Then put on my jacket and swear I won't take it off all night.

Strike 1 – We are making plans and he says, let’s just meet for a drink first. I hate that but I go along with it. After all, I don’t want to marry the guy.

Strike 2 – He asks about local places as he is coming up from Denver and doesn't know the area. I tell him that I don’t drink but there are a dozen restaurants with nice bars within a few block of my house. He comes back with a bar a few miles away that I have never heard of. I look it up and it is a little out of the way dive bar. Not really first date territory but I think he is testing my obedience and say sure. He ignored the fact that I don’t usually drink which I could live with. I have had men take me to bars before, but usually a restaurant bar where we can talk quietly in a corner. I have even had Master take me to a strip club before but never felt neglected at all. And if I am comfortable with the guy, I might actually have a drink.

Strike 3 – I show up and he is hunched over his phone playing a game. I walk up and say his name and hello. He looks up, says hi, and goes back to his game. As he is playing he says he can’t stop at the moment or he will lose his score. I order a diet coke from the bartender and wait.

Strike 3 – One of the guys playing pool shouts over that it is his turn. He shuts off his phone (I guess pool rates higher than wooing a possible new sub) and says he entered a tournament while waiting for me, despite me actually being 5 minutes early. Sigh I guess we are going to be here for a while. But it is a dead night with only a few people and low music so not too bad.

Strike 4 - I still have my jacket on and at one point while playing he asks me to unzip it to show him what I am wearing. I pull the zipper down enough to show him and he laughs and says that he just meant a low cut shirt and that I went overboard. I zip back up as he heads back to play pool.

Strike 5 – The pool tournament gets over an hour or so later but he only played twice so we had quite a bit of time to talk in between and he never got his phone back out. I start thinking, I like this guy despite the bad start, he must have been testing me. We get along until he mentions movies. I tell him I am a big movie buff but mostly sci-fi. He asks if I have ever seen his two favorite moves which I have not. He then tells me that I am not a movie buff if I have never watched them. He asks about music and I mention I prefer listening to audio books. He snorts at that. I do tell him that I like songs rather than genres and show him my favorite playlist of about 50 songs. He starts to pick it apart and mentions that his playlist is hundreds of songs. I actually have about 6000+ songs in my library, but decide it's not worth mentioning.

Strike 6 – We keep talking as the bar fills up and a live DJ shows up. It is Sat night after all. I think that we will be leaving now since it is hard to talk over the loud music. Plus a drunk decides this guy is his new best friend and starts talking to him from his other side. Since I can’t hear what they are saying, I just keep smiling and looking around. He turns to me and says he is going outside to smoke. I ask dumbly, “oh, you are a smoker?” We had talked about limits and I mentioned my asthma earlier in the day. But again, I am not marrying the guy so don’t protest. He goes outside and I stare at the muted TV.

Strike 7 – He comes back in and says “You look bored” No shit, Sherlock. I am thinking we will leave now to go someplace quiet to talk, maybe my place. But then he orders another drink…and another…and another. Finally I tell him that I have to go. I am supposed to pick up my kid at 10 and it is a little early but I have had enough. He pays the bill, I am sure my single diet coke in 3 hours was a hard hit on his wallet, and he walks me out to the car. He hugs me and kisses me and gives me a slap on the ass which I don't want or appreciate after being neglected and criticized all night.

Strike 8 – I get my kid home and am putting her to bed when he texts me that once I get her to bed, he will come over. I think, “Oh, yeah?” I don’t invite strange men over to my place with her there, not even with her asleep. Only very, very trusted and long term play partners. I tell him that I don’t think we were on the same page and it wasn’t going to work.

Strike 9 – he comes back with “We can at least play once and get wild” Not only no but No-fucking-way-in-hell no.

What the fuck is wrong with you, dude? Even for a vanilla date that would have gone down as a bad one.