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The image is not mine and I have searched and searched for the owner to obtain permission or at the very least give proper credit. No malice or disrespect is intended and I will remove it if requested.
"If a woman is not submissive to a man it is not because she lacks the ability to submit; rather he lacked the ability to create for her a place in her heart and mind to fall to her knees."
~Anonymous
When others asked the truth of me, I was convinced it was not the truth they wanted, but an illusion they could bear to live with. ~ Anaïs Nin I am here primarily to chat with a few friends. I am an owned, poly switch who is really not looking...for anything or anyone. Well, with the exception of interesting conversation. :) That said I would welcome the company of the right individual, one who's needs and wants are complimentary. Details of that should be shared privately. an old profile~ i believe there is a man who can understand me, love me for who i am and see all that i may become...not see this as a burden but instead fulfilling evidence of my need for him. it would be my surrender that would feed his soul. my quest is for symbiosis, my Zen of Surrender. for the vast majority of my life i have lived a lie, only to face death and realize i had never lived at all. it was in those moments that i made the ultimate commitment...to myself, to live a life based in the fundamental philosophy of congruence...regardless of cost. today i am simply keeping deep, heartfelt promises to ... me. the price of admission is my very soul. as life unfolds we evolve, learn and grow. such times dictate the full range of emotion be present. i live and love with great abandon and if you disturb my world...i will simply erase you from it. sometimes this is done with more grace than others. those near me i hold with great love and have learned that true fulfillment is the depth of the relationships i engage in and not the head count. Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~ Mahatma Gandhi i am slow to make friends and there are reasons...not excuses. i bond very deeply and it is important to me that those who are close are consistent in their words and actions. i need that from friends as well as more intimate relationships. also, i will not expect you to choose your friends based on my opinion and respectfully request that you allow me the same courtesy. this is a hard limit. someone said to me recently that they love kinky people. this made me think and perhaps is a major distinction for me. i see people as people...first. how i express myself sexually is not something i will display in photographs or speak of intimately with someone...unless there is an intimate relationship. my point, i am relatively private until i get to know someone. yes, i am kinky. if your interests lie in phone sex and web cams i am probably not your girl... It's easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams...that is being naked. ~ Rob Bell i understand, respect and embrace that a large majority of those here are so based on kink. for me, it all begins between the ears. if you aren't worth engaging in conversation i probably will not be interested in sex...with you. my expression of submission is compelled by inspiration, truth and respect. it is not my belief that it is a gift nor an excuse to behave like society's whore but a sincere response to the intellectual and physical presence of a man who unlocks the most primal desires from deep within. the rest...is for private consumption only... ~under construction~ we all have our own story and journey. i think it's reasonably safe to say that each of us, man or woman, orientation or role...all search for connection, to be accepted and loved. it reminds us we are alive...we matter. there are so many expressions of the lifestyle represented here. even within the social structure of a shared vision and agreed dynamic...we are very different. one thing remains inherently true. normal, healthy people...feel. as i have learned personally, those who seem to believe that they can 'keep them in check' are often really kidding themselves. in my opinion, the ties that bind relationships based on an agreed upon, consensual power exchange have nothing to do with rope. oh, the rope may be fun...there are undoubtedly lessons to be learned as well as carnal pleasure to be enjoyed...but what i want to discuss is the psychological anchoring and interdependence that develops. emotional anchoring and imprinting occur whether we desire it, expect it...or recognize it. how do we prepare...what responsibility do we accept for ourselves and others? the question is, how many accept the probability ahead of time? do you as a Dominant think clearly about what a can of worms you open when you begin to delve into the spirit of a submissive? as a submissive, do you acknowledge that long before your body is consented to be manipulated...you offer your soul? i understand and appreciate that there are those in the lifestyle for whom this is just a sexual expression. for me...my heart is in the game. i don't believe i am the only one...

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2/4/2017 5:02:59 PM
headed to vegas soon for some fun...

1/18/2016 4:58:57 PM

the paralysis of analysis and cost of consequence

reminding myself...

Journal Entry 
 | over 5 years ago

i woke this morning and was slapped up side the head. not literally...lol, but by my own mind. sometimes i think that can be more painful. this journey is taking so many twists that sometimes i wonder if it is not the best ride ever.

this morning i realized something that for me is a major shift. i have heard the saying, 'life is not a dress rehersal' and often pondered that thought. it has led me to a place of my own analysis leading to paralysis. after all, if it is not a dress rehearsal and this is possibly the second act...maybe time is so precious that i must be careful to not make a mistake.

mistakes mean consequences. real consequences. i have been so focused on the ones that i have created that i have lost the ability to design the ones i desire. mistakes can only happen when you DO something. i can own my mistakes...even live with and through the consequences and gain understanding.

this morning i consider something different. what if life was a dress rehearsal? what would i do differently...after all...if it were the final act would i not want to go out with a boom? yes i would.

so today i am making a decision...act in good conscious but not let the fear of bad consequence drive me to actions that hinder my ability to FEEL alive. not just live...but be alive.

a page has turned and it is a whole new game.


12/17/2015 11:33:18 AM
A real weakness...the alpha male. Delicious.

12/9/2015 2:46:06 PM
Recent events have taught me to not underestimate the delicious presence of a younger man...

12/2/2014 9:09:02 PM
it is amazing to me ... the beautiful things that can enter your life when you least expect it.  

11/26/2014 1:14:58 PM
It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked. ~ Rob Bell

11/20/2014 5:30:40 PM

If a woman is not submissive to a man it is not because she lacks the ability to submit, rather he lacked the ability to create for her a place in her heart and mind to fall to her knees.  ~ Anonymous

 


11/17/2014 11:04:34 PM
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  ~ Anais Nin

11/11/2014 9:21:06 AM
i have found this referenced in many places and am attempting to find direct access to gain personal permission to post it.  generally speaking it has been my experience has been only that proper credit is given...

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THE SERVANT MASTER
From Control to Compassion
(Copyright © Skip Chasey 2004. All rights reserved.)

WHAT IS A SERVANT MASTER?

A Servant Master is not a service top! It is an archetypal role to which some leathermen and leatherwomen are called and, in that way, it is very similar to a religious or spiritual vocation. Archetypes are predefined patterns of behavior that one is born with; impersonal energies of psycho-spiritual influence universal in their meaning (i.e. a collective consciousness). The Servant Master is merely one of literally hundreds of archetypes. Each of us is influenced by a specific number of different archetypal energies running through our psyche.

The archetype of the Servant Master can be seen throughout history and in every culture (e.g., the Buddhist or Hindu bodhisattva). In our contemporary culture the archetype of the Servant Master has evolved into the Servant Leader--Martin Luther King, Jr. is a good example. The difference between the two archetypes is the degree of authority given and assumed. Servant Masters are not deficient in their dominance and are most certainly not weak or wimpy—quite the contrary. There are, however, some distinctive differences between Servant Masters and other Dominants who do not possess this archetype. The first, and most important, difference is that Servant Masters place the well-being of their slaves ahead of their own, and personal gain is not the driving force behind their mastery.

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF SERVANT MASTERS

The characteristics of Servant Masters are most readily apparent in five key areas: Awareness & Spiritual Consciousness; Empathy & Acceptance; Power & Authority; Healing; and Growth & Stewardship. Arguably, all ethical Dominants possessing these characteristics are in fact Servant Masters, no matter what role or title they claim.

Awareness & Spiritual Consciousness

Servant Masters have a well developed spiritual consciousness. Because of that they have a keen awareness of what is occurring in the inner world of their slaves. They hear things, see things and know things that others miss or ignore. Servant Masters are rarely fooled by appearances and their intuitive insight is exceptional. A Master cannot elicit a slave’s trust unless the slave has confidence in the Master’s values and moral competence (including the Master’s judgment) and unless the Master has a sustaining spirit that will support the Master in his tenacious pursuit of mastering the slave. The Master must have a palpable “entheos,” a Greek word meaning “god within.” Because Servant Masters answer to a higher spiritual authority they are profoundly trustworthy.

Empathy & Acceptance

Acceptance means to receive what is offered, with approbation, satisfaction or acquiescence; empathy is the imaginative projection of one’s own consciousness into another being. The opposite of both empathy and acceptance is rejection. Servant Masters have a highly developed ability to walk in the shoes of their slaves. They understand and appreciate their slaves’ circumstances and problems. A Servant Master never rejects a slave but sometimes refuses to accept the slave’s service or performance when it’s less than the slave’s best effort. slaves grow confident in their slavery when their Masters empathize with them and when they are accepted for who they are, even though their service or performance may be judged critically in terms of what they are capable of doing.

A Servant Master’s interest in and affection for her slaves is not something the slave must deserve or earn. Servant Masters may have gruff, demanding and uncompromising exteriors, but the love they have for their slaves is unconditional. Full acceptance of a slave requires a tolerance of imperfection from the Master. Any Dominant can “master” perfect slaves. But there aren’t any perfect slaves or, for that matter, any perfect Masters. It is part of the beautiful mystery of human nature that even the most immature, inept or lazy person is capable of greatness if wisely led. Many otherwise capable Dominants are disqualified as Servant Masters because they cannot handle less-than-perfect slaves.

Power & Authority

There are many different types of personal power. There is the power of persuasion, for example, and there is also coercive power that is used to dominate and manipulate people. Persuasion elevates the dignity and self-esteem of the one at whom such power is directed, while coercion forces the individual into a predetermined path that leaves little room for their own inner guidance and growth.

Coercive power can be overt and brutal or covert and subtly manipulative. The former is open and acknowledged; the latter is insidious and difficult to detect. However in either case it only strengthens resistance. And even if it is successful in controlling behavior the effect it creates lasts only as long as the force is strong. The power of persuasion, on the other hand, has a lasting effect that continues long after the situation for which it was utilized has passed.

Servant Masters are naturally very persuasive. The Servant Master says “are you willing?” knowing that the path he and his slaves are walking is uncertain. Fortunately, one of the hallmarks of Servant Masters is that they are better than most at determining the best direction in which to proceed. Servant Masters know that the Spirit—not knowledge or physical skill—is true power. They know that they have no power of their own and that they cannot create power. At best they are simply conduits of power and, as such, must remain connected to the Source of that power in order to exercise power and authority over their slaves, which they do through the development of devotion and not through force or coercion.

Healing

Servant Masters have a deep appreciation for the emotional and spiritual health of others. They are remarkably good at facilitating the healing process and others often turn to them when such a need arises. The ability to create an environment that encourages emotional and spiritual healing is critical for those called to be Servant Masters. Servant Masters have a conscious awareness that in facilitating the healing of their slaves they themselves are healed. Although that is something that is seldom (if at all) acknowledged by most Masters, it is one of the reasons a Master engages in a relationship with his slave(s). “Healing” means to make whole and a profound affirmation is subtly communicated to a slave when implicit in the contract with his Master—written or otherwise—is the understanding that the search for wholeness is something that they share.

Growth & Stewardship

Servant Masters look to facilitate their slaves’ growth in all sorts of ways— personally, professionally and spiritually. A Servant Master is more likely to receive insight into what is for their slave’s greatest good than a Dominant who is providing just enough care giving for the slave to conform to community expectations or to appease the Dom’s nagging conscience.

The concept of stewardship stems from medii.e., the slave has a vocation or Divine purpose) and actively engage their slaves in the discovery and fulfillment of that purpose.

IN SUMMARY

Servant Masters offer unconditional love for their slaves, their steadfast dedication to their slaves’ growth and development, and their passionate faith in the worth of their slaves and the ability of their slaves to discern and fulfill their Divine purpose. Servant Masters do not answer to their slaves but to an authority greater than themselves. In doing so the Servant Master becomes an instrument for the slave’s wellbeing. The mastering of their slaves is one way that Servant Masters fulfill their own Divine purpose. That does not mean the Servant Master’s BDSM experiences are less enjoyable, less hot and sexy or less fun than they are for a Dominant who does not have such noble intensions. They are all of that for a Servant Master and much more gratifying as well.

 

11/8/2014 2:25:46 PM
live and learn.  years ago a Dominant man i was close to gave me some very sage advice and it has proven true over and over.  i suppose that instead of just remembering the advice i should take it.

he said, 'if there is one thing that is true about Dominant men, they want what they want and if they are sincerely interested they will not hide behind a computer screen or phone for long.'

he went on to tell me that those who do are surely hiding something and i should pay attention to the red flags.

then, he went on to tell me to always stay safe and realize that a man of integrity would never expect his first meeting with you to be in a hotel room.

i really believe that the man i hope to find one day will appreciate that to be honored, you must show honor.  to be respected, you must be respectful.

perhaps it is time to seriously consider simply engaging with one of the numerous, handsome, submissive men that approach me and take a lover...and accept that the man i am searching for may simply not exist.

11/7/2014 1:08:21 PM
D/s without mutual love and devotion is like de-caf coffee.  Why bother?

11/3/2014 12:53:49 PM
i find it quite fascinating people who choose to engage in power exchange relationships think that means only one party has power.  a woman's deep submissive desire to serve, be enjoyed carnally and give to another who is given authority over her does not mean she intends to abandon common sense.



10/20/2014 12:22:55 PM

we all have our own story and journey. i think it's reasonably safe to say that each of us, man or woman, orientation or role...all search for connection, to be accepted and loved. it reminds us we are alive...we matter.

 

there are so many expressions of the lifestyle represented here.  even within the social structure of a shared vision and agreed dynamic...we are very different.

 

one thing remains inherently true. normal, healthy people...feel. as i have learned personally, those who seem to believe that they can 'keep them in check' are often really kidding themselves.

  

in my opinion, the ties that bind relationships based on an agreed upon, consensual power exchange have nothing to do with rope. oh, the rope may be fun...there are undoubtedly lessons to be learned as well as carnal pleasure to be enjoyed...but what i want to discuss is the psychological anchoring and interdependence that develops.

 

emotional anchoring and imprinting occur whether we desire it, expect it...or recognize it. how do we prepare...what responsibility do we accept for ourselves and others?

 

the question is, how many accept the probability ahead of time? do you as a Dominant think clearly about what a can of worms you open when you begin to delve into the spirit of a submissive? as a submissive, do you acknowledge that long before your body is consented to be manipulated...you offer your soul?

 

i understand and appreciate that there are those in the lifestyle for whom this is just a sexual expression. for me...my heart is in the game. i don't believe i am the only one...


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Superstar25
 
 Age: 33
 Killeen, Texas