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Andrew79
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pixiechick123
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| My opinions are just that- opinions. You don't have to like them, but if you ask for them, you will get them. Put up or shut up, otherwise. I put myself on the line for those about whom I care. Do the same or get out of my way.
Please park your ego at the door. I will treat you as you show me you deserve.
I am experienced, intelligent, realistic, and above all, not owned by anyone.
My health could go in the toilet again at any moment. I'm prepared for that. Don't apply here if you're not, too.
Respect and trust are things you earn over time.
Service is not about Fucking/Sex. I lead this House and I decide how/when/where to use my submissives & slaves as best befits their skills, educations, and talents... as well as the needs of the House. If you don't like the way I do things, don't apply, or leave. This House will survive without you, I'm sure of it.
Hard limits:
corpses, critters, anything that is felonious (not joking), maiming, scat-and that includes adults in diapers, and ESPECIALLY batshit crazy mother-fuckers who should be dosed with thorazine.
Brat on you own own fucking time.
The basics about me:
I live in Meridian, MS. I have several submissives and play-partners. I am not wealthy, but I pay my bills. I am educated. I am a Dominant & poly. I don't bottom to anyone I don't trust. I am online for entertainment and to socialize with my friends. I am as subtle as a sledge hammer. I am a 3 time Cancer survivor- that is Strength tempered in Faith and wrapped in Willpower.
To get to know me, you have to really spend time talking about life and exploring things with me. We might go rock grubbing or to karaoke night. We might spend the evening watching movies or just discussing various topics. We might go enjoy an arts & crafts show, or take a trip to a town we've both wanted to visit... We will learn each other INSIDE AND OUT til we can answer each other's questions. We will build a friendship upon which a truly strong relationship can be based. IF you cannot handle this type of foundation, do not tread my path.
Suezanne
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I suppose I've been on a bit of "online world burnout". I have my friends, who know me, who understand how hectic and strange my life gets at times. Then there are those who only see me online ... who kibbitz and sarcastically insist that this and that cannot be true.
If you have NOT met me, and you have not walked in my shoes, or you have not stood shoulder to shoulder with me to build a life with me... Shut the hell up. If you have not survived cancer, wrecks, rape, domestic abuse, stalkers, (and I could go on, but I won't) then be glad you haven't lived in my world. If you do not have any of my medical conditions, and you've never lost a child during a pregnancy, do not whine about the wastes of the disability system. You have NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE TO COPE WITH EVERY DAY.
I do not whine about it. I deal. I live. I make ends meet. I have a full, and mostly happy, life.
I do have strong and mostly politically incorrect opinions. If you ask for my opinion, I will give it, and I will not give a flying fat rat's ass if it offends you. If you are too much of a pussy to handle my opinion, when you asked for it, with a semblance of maturity and grace (intelligence would be a bonus), I suggest you go suck hind teat on a boar hog.
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July 5, 2016 I was in a motorcycle accident. I broke my wrist and my nose. I ended up with a bit of road rash and a LOT of bruises. I've been healing well and will be back to "normal", whatever that is for me, soon.
Thanks to my friends for checking on me. Thanks to my local friends/subs for helping me in this difficult time. Yes, I know I'm a stubborn bitch. No, that isn't going to change. Before I ride again, I'll get a full face helmet, dig out my boots & leathers, and <sigh> yes, be more careful of the sandy spots. I promise.
No, you all cannot BUBBLEWRAP me. I'm a tuff ol' broad.
Sue aka Hussy |
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WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE!!!!
"No, not kidding.
I'm tired of ripping my heart out.
I'm tired of having my life torn apart by those who swear they love me; those who swear/sign contract/promise before the gods to serve me; claim publicly they are my friends.
I'm exhausted by having to do everything alone.
I am tired of being scared.
Worse, I have to grieve alone-- for lost family, children I didn't get to hold, friends gone, homes/pets lost, betrayals, illnesses faced, etc."
""What Do Dominants Want""
I can't speak for EVERY Dominant Fem. I speak for MYSELF.
I want an intelligent, useful strong partner who contributes to my Household. I want someone with whom I can discuss things-- but who will obey my rules and with whom kink and adult sensual play is edgy and sometimes consentual non-consent. I want someone who likes danger and deprivation as well as being strong enough to actually stand on his/her OWN when necessary. I want someone who can take care of me when/if my health hits the toilet-- and it will. I want someone who is secure in the knowledge that I chose them so that means I love/need them and won't lie to them. I Want someone who loves/needs me and won't lie to me. I want someone who is strong enough to be HONEST WITH THEMSELVES. I think that is the hardest of all.
""I want someone who will hold me
I want someone who isn't afraid to be with me in public.
I want to know, that no matter what, I can call and talk. If you're at work, you will call me back."
These things matter, and if you don't have them, it is heartbreaking. Trust me.I know.
""BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED-or ignored-DESTROYS A RELATIONSHIP FASTER THAN ADULTERY/CHEATING""
Most of all, I want someone who will TRY THEIR BEST AT ALL TIMES. I don't expect perfection. I expect a HUMAN who TRULY TRIES. That's all I am.
So, yes, DEAD or ALIVE, this is WHAT IS WANTED in a PARTNER.
and sadly... it may take a bounty hunter to find one. |
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THE LOST GIRL
For most of the last 25 years, I have had to be the in charge responsible one. It means I have not been able to be frilly, fun, and floo floo or just put things in someone else's hands like some other people do. I've learned, sadly, that if I don't maintain control/ do the job(s), it/they either don't get done or I later have to go back and freaking do it over because xyz just fucked it up anyway. A while ago, my primary partner told me "pack to be a girl" and took me on a trip. For a week, for the first time in a quarter century, I didn't have to make plans, organize things, pay bills, or do any of the bajillions of other daily things that normally occupy my attention. All I had to do was socialize, dress properly in fancy clothes, wear makeup and heels, and be a conversational escort and companion.
What neither my partner nor I realized from this junket, was the change it would make on my mindset and how hard it would be for me to reset myself to "normal". Before this, I had always been almost "bullet-proof" in a lot of ways. I was Dominant/Sadist/best friend/lover/confidant/one of the guys/teacher and a lot of other things with my partner. However, on this trip, as "being a girl", I somehow became fragile and it's not just because of my health. My health is one of those things that comes and goes like tornados in the South, so we're used to THAT particular issue changing.
All of a sudden, I was in charge by virtue of my femininity because I was a girl with all the frou-frou and delicacy, and it wasn't because I chose to exert my mind and will as I have done for the past quarter century. I wore make-up and fancy dresses and jewelry (serious & nice BLING) and high heels that almost endangered my life and others (Klutz 101 + spine problems). And it changed both me and the relationship... or at least my view of both. I am not sure how long it will take me to get back to where I WAS or if I want to get back there...
For one, I realized that I'd lost something by having to be so damn O.C.D. my whole life. It's one thing to have the mental and genetic compulsion (as I do) to be O.C. D. though out life-- cleanliness and order as a part of aspergers syndrome and major depressive syndrome. But having to take charge of things in order to keep from being HURT by others or to simply stay ahead of the curve of life... and not even realizing that it has cost me a large piece of my own girl.
I mourn that girl now that I realize I have lost her for so long. She's not dead. She's mearly smothered inside the rest of me because for the most part I have no way to let her out safely without losing too much. I mourn her because I have spent so much time keeping others -- my children, my submissives, my friends, myself, my family, my partners, my loves, my jobs, my work, .... etc and so on forever and ever though my past-- safe.
I know that girl is in me. I know I can let her out now. However, the junket showed me that if I let her out, I will open myself to grief. I will feel emotions and confusions I had buried. I will have to cope with reactions from others I have not had to manage. I have to deal with things I am unused to managing. I will have to flirt innocently. Even 25 years ago, I did not do that. 25 years ago I had other priorities. 30 years ago I had other priorities. The girl, though, LIKED when I let her out. Now, maybe it is time for her to see the world. Then I was an insecure confused and very scared injured person. Now I carry battle wounds scarred over but I am strong.
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There is a so-called submissive on here: Mattb60-- though he uses variations of that nick at times-- who lived with me for a time. He left this house in the middle of the night, without notice. He did not take anything but he did not allow this house to make preparations for his leaving. He left me without transportation and without another housemate or arrangements to fill the void left behind. Such things are not acceptable. No submissive or dominant or human person.... should ever be a burden on another person or House.
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I've been inundated by emails lately by male "submissives" indicating interest in becoming mine-- whether as slave or submissive. Great news. They're eager and excited and HAVEN'T for the most part even read my profile at all. They're hundreds, or worse, THOUSANDS, of miles away. I ask them questions they do not answer and yet they expect me to seriously consider them.
Requirements to become mine:
Be Honest. Honor and Integrity are more scarce than hen's teeth and sacrificial virgins.
Be educated or intelligent. These are NOT the same things. KNOW the difference and how to apply what you have to your advantage.
Be Employed or have some means of self-support. The only bills I pay are MY OWN. Anyone who lives in MY HOUSE contributes to the expenses there-in.
** If you don't know what TANSTAAFL means look it up and fucking believe it**
Get here or get lost. Online is a fantasy and I live in the real world with real events/issues.
Expect to actually SERVE. Do not expect sex. Understand that I am the final authority on all decisions pertaining to this House.
I am never unreasonable, though I can be a sadistic bitch. I see far more than anyone thinks, until it is time for the final answer.
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You're Mine & I love you but your body doesn't turn me on.
I love my submissives & slaves. If I didn't love them, I wouldn't keep them in my House. They live with me or stay under my protection for years. Together we face illnesses, family struggles, career choices, education issues, financial woes and wins, and all of life's battles. We are more than "just" Dominant/submissive players-- we are a family. That is the joy of living in a poly House. We are never alone in any of our trials or joys in life. One thing that has perhaps taken the longest for my House members t o adjust to is learning that SERVICE IS NOT ABOUT SEX IN THIS HOUSE. It may be or become a bonus, but sex is not automatic nor guaranteed. I will train almost anyone. I will session and teach-- I LOVE THAT PROCESS. However, to me, sex and the whole set of interpersonal connections that go with it are a different kettle of fish now that I am older and have had the health battles of the past few years, that I want to reserve it for a special few. You won't serve my House as MINE unless I LOVE YOU, I don't have to find you physically attractive to love you as my submissive or slave. You do have to have a sincere heart and be honest. Physically, I don't have a "type" I choose as my submissive/slave. Chances are, you're going to serve in chastity for a while anyway. Facts are: I have to get to know you-- how you think, how you feel, how you respond to stimuli, what you know, what you want to know, what you need to learn, what you've been through, what you need to go through, how you need to heal, etc-- before I can even CONSIDER you as a potential sexual partner. Your body isn't even anywhere on that list of "what-ifs". Everything I've mentioned is MENTAL and is learned through COMMUNICATION. If you notice, though, these things are all things YOU HAVE TO LEARN ABOUT ME, TOO. I've given you a primer, though. I write Journal entries and writings, here and on other sites (may they be un-named for the sake of non-competition) bwhahahaha... and I attend Munches and Events and do lectures and demos. I SHARE my experiences with anyone who wishes to discuss these things. I have NO SECRETS. I am past all of that because what I have learned may make someone else's path just that much easier. I am not perfect. I don't claim, nor want, to be. I am results oriented. If your body doesn't turn me on, so what? As my slaves & submissives have learned, I still love you and I will not leave you, dismiss you, nor betray you. I won't fuck you. I will use your mind and body as I see fit. I will use your skills and talents and abilities. I will listen to your advise and thoughts. We will talk, socialize, learn and many other things together. I will OWN you, POSSESS you, INHABIT your mind. So what if your body is not attractive to me. If the rest of you is, THAT is WHY I chose you. That is why you are a part of my House & my Life. IF I love you enough to choose you, you will NEVER be abandoned. If I choose you, I trust you. I don't trust easily. Do not ever betray me. Those who have, well... they have learned the price of my wrath. |
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Owning The BiPolar Ones (and Living with Them)
I was married to a BiPolar man for a decade. In the end, off medication, he did immeasurable harm not only to our family but to many others as well. Now, I own not one, but two, slaves who are bipolar. One is what is known as a brittle (rapid cycler) and has dealt with his condition most of his life with varying degrees of success. It has affected his marriages, his career, and--though he has yet to accept it--all other areas of his life as well. My other slave I don't yet know as well, but watching him and what I have seen so far, I am having to teach him to manage himself and his resources to ensure his own safety & security.
I know that I am not the only one who has noticed the trend for certain things to become "fads". For a while, the trend was to be super thin, then super educated, then some designer drug, then to support some "cause", and then everyone became ADD/ADHD, and then there was the rush on diagnosing bipolar disorder, and a few years later being "gay/lesbian" was the "in" thing. NOW of course, it's PTSD and trans-gender. People seem to want to have safety labels on everything so they can blame someone and have a responsibility release.
The thing is, TRUE BiPolar is not easily controlled and takes BLOOD TESTS to determine. BiPolar disorder is a LITHIUM deficiency and is MEASURABLE by testing. It can be presumed by behavior, but a good doctor (Psychiatrist) will order the appropriate tests in conjunction with the psychotherapy necessary BEFORE prescribing psychotropic medications with severe potential side effects. How do I know all of this? I was MISDIAGNOSED as bipolar for 15 years and medicated wrongly by doctors who probably meant well, but certainly had no idea what in the world they were doing in my case.Back when they "diagnosed me" they didn't know what Asperger's Syndrome was-- they just assumed it was a mental disorder and lumped it in with what they were familiar with-- Manic Depression aka BiPolar Disorder.
Instead of following a trend and pampering those in my House, I teach my submissives and slaves (and children and friends and husband(s) and co-workers) PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and MODERATION. Everyone is expected to have a job/income. Everyone is expected to pay an equal share of the expenses involved in running this House. Consistency and honesty are required in any D/s House or regular relationship. With those who have BiPolar Disorder, these things are even more important. One must have the patience of Job and many other Saints when dealing with the symptoms:
Hair trigger temper
forgetfulness
sexual obsession/addiction
OCD
hoarding tendencies
insomnia
fatigue
sudden likes/dislikes
random ranting
brooding
selective hearing
impulsive spending
lack of "focus"
sudden emotional attachments
mood swings--often seasonal
excessive crying /sudden laughter outburst
aversion to certain colors/sounds
and many others -- See a professional if these are familiar to you or someone you love.
This entry is not complete. My House & my Life are always Evolving. I am a Healer. I am a Leader. I am Dominant and I am their Mistress. I am, however, not perfect. I make my bipolar family members get the PROFESSIONAL help they need-- therapy and medication. I do what I can at home to make their paths easier.
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"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye.." I saw this on Facebook today. It made me check-up and walk down memory lane to all my past "enoughs". I suppose I just never had the right words to put it in a true prayer for myself. Whomever wrote this, thank you. As all the memories paraded through my heart and mind: My children, ex-lovers, my ex-husbands, extended family, and friends-- all of whom are parts of my life's path: some good, some bitter-sweet, some bad. I think of my slave, my submissives, my play partners, and all my community friends. I am BLESSED. Do they wish me Enough? It doesn't matter. I wish all those who influence my life this simple prayer. No matter how a relationship ends, it imprints your life forever. Remember it all and learn from it. I know I have. Treasure all of your memories and your people. One day they will be gone, with that final Good-bye. Namaste. |
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if all you do is "look" you will never find that woman. Internet is a wonderful thing in that it allows long distance contacts, but it also makes for such an impersonal "meat market" atmosphere where people forget how to actually communicate. Yes, I may be
over 800 miles away. Yes, I have a complicated life. I am still an educated and very REAL person with a wealth of knowledge and experience that could enrich a life worthy of being better. Would yours have been the one? YOU will probably never know if you do not reach out and commit the time & energy to a relationship in the real time world. I do. My life is good and grows better every day. Can you say the same?
Those too lazy to read this profile do not deserve to own or serve anyone. I live in East Mississippi and cannot travel much. Expect to meet face to face as this choice is not a game. Online is entertainment, SERVICE is Real Time & Serious.
I am valuable property. I will treat you with the respect you earn. I know my worth. Do you know yours?
I switch & have submissives (male @ this time) in my House. I enjoy women submissives as well. I share VERY WELL. I have much experience in BDSM and D/s. I am a tantric primal sado-masochist who chooses those with joy in service when I walk topside and seek those who share a deep sense of honor and love for edge play when I serve. I encourage exploration of many varied areas of BDSM & the sensual arts. I was trained Old School and taught "In the absence of Ownership, OWN".
IF you want to know more of my BDSM & D/s interests I am on FL with this same nick and share many writings on that site.
I have many years of eclectic college education in several fields. I have equally diverse professional experience. I seek those with intelligence, wit, and ambition to match mine. You must be employed or financially stable. I support myself and my House. I do not carry the weight of freeloaders. You should be local, or able to travel easily.
D/s and BDSM are not about getting laid. If I wanted only sex, I could go into a bar and flash some tit. Easy enough to get laid in a Navy town. Keep that in mind when you contact me. Submissives should petition properly. Dominants may inquire about this House If you cannot provide for yourself and manage your own affairs properly, you certainly can't take care of me, nor do you belong in my House. |
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On CATHARSIS
For 6 years, I didn't bottom to or serve anyone.
Maybe that doesn't mean anything to you. Ok. But I am a slave, and being unbound or unowned is a deep wound to my soul.
I find other ways to manage my life. I am highly educated and multi-task incredibly well. I am out publicly and have submissives and play partners who serve or bottom to me which is a way of relieving some stresses. There is a local BDSM Munch group in my town, so I share my knowledge and experiences fairly freely.
Through this local group, I met someone. It was a hot, heady, and, in the end, abusive relationship that lasted almost a year and took the courts to protect me. Proof positive that even experienced and strong people can be blinded by need and emotions. I make no excuses for myself. I chose someone vetted for me by locals and fell in love with a predator. <shrug> it happens. I took the steps needed to protect myself when it wouldn't stop by multiple requests over time.
Anyway. About CATHARSIS. I am a deep SADO-MASOCHIST. I know this about myself. I OWN it. I freely share it with anyone who wants to discuss, learn, see, feel, or simply even just try to experience some of it. When I trust someone enough, I want to be completely and utterly DESTROYED by them. I want them to find that core inside of me and MANGLE it. Take the pain my body (which is disabled by the genetic lottery of Gaia and life) keeps me in and put me in a zone where every bit of stress and anger and love and pain and beauty and emotion all blend and combine to become PRIMAL so that I can be the animal(s) I am.
That is what my slave needs. That is what my core is. That is why, only a few times in my life, I have chosen someone to truly serve. I have my Alpha, My Partner. He is Mine as I am His. We are dual Switches in this House. Trust, Communication, and Catharsis built with time and FRIENDSHIP. There are times he needs the same from me. I trust him to rebuild me after he destroys me. That is what PARTNERS do.
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I Am a Special F*cking Snowflake …
And I want everyone to understand why that is NOT a bad thing to be. Being who and what I am means that I am totally self-aware and know what my goals in life are. It means I am educated and capable. It means I can adapt around what life throws at me, good or bad. It means that even when I have a bad day and break down for a healthy cry, I get up afterwards and have a plan to make things better.
I am in my soul a slave. There are different interpretations of this, but to me, it means that I take care of those for whom I care in EVERY way in which I am capable. I am also an ambitious, educated, skilled, talented woman with an Alpha personality. I have a great deal of experience in various D/s and BDSM methodologies and techniques. This combination of abilities makes me capable of many things despite the failures of my body/health over the past 8-10 years. I have a vibrant (brassy), active personality and I do not ever let life pass me by anymore. I love to learn and explore and will often draw others into these adventures with me.
What does this all mean? It means I teach those around me what I have experienced in my life. It means I enjoy each day to the fullest. It means I do not tolerate abuse or disrespect. It means I am not politically correct. It means I am self-sufficient, probably overly so, and generally independent. However, I am also a woman who loves to be taken care of and pampered ONCE I TRUST YOU. I am a girly-girl who loves bling and heels and nice dresses. I love to cuddle and am very tactile. I love to cook. I’m rather OCD about cleaning. I don’t like to ask for help, though I’ve learned to do so when my body fails me. When I make friends, I make them for LIFE. Betray my trust, I will cut you completely OUT of my life and you will never regain your place again.
Is all this a series of contradictions? Perhaps. It means in general that whomever I am with will have to get to KNOW me thoroughly before having a snowballs chance in hell of “Owning” me. It means that there is a far stronger chance of me Owning others than of being Owned myself. I am a remarkably secure person. I’ve been called psychotic, bi-polar, and a host of other names/labels but men who never bothered to get to know me. I’ve had stalkers and abusers in my life. No one yet has broken me. I don’t say it can’t be done. I do say that I have survived things that others can’t or won’t imagine and frankly I don’t wish those things on anyone.
My point is: I am, indeed, a special fucking snowflake. The deity made me this way and (S)He made me this way. (S)He doesn’t make mistakes. If YOU have a problem with me, that is YOUR issue, not mine. Get to know me. It will probably be a bonus to all our lives. It will certainly be an adventure we won’t regret in the least. I never have.
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He calls it DIY Dom
But that's not really what I'm doing. I'm teaching him techniques he wants to know, because I know them. I'm teaching him to control his strength because he doesn't know how strong, physically, he is. I'm teaching him that a gentleman who is submissive on one hand can be Dominant on the other, and it's not WRONG, if it's what his partner needs... and they're both fulfilled. I am teaching him exactly what my first 3 Masters taught me. He calls it Do-It-Yourself Dominant Training, but really, it's only a variation of what I try to teach everyone.
The basics are simple:
Learn and understand what you need in yourself.
Listen to your partner, so that you know and understand his/her needs.
Communicate clearly with your partner—and oddly this is the part that causes the most fear.
When you make a mistake, say so, apologize, step back and work to fix it if it can be fixed. Acknowledging that some things cannot be fixed is ½ the battle of learning.
I am a full on Switch. I prefer to be an Owned slave but frankly I am too Alpha for most partners. I am too ambitious and too experienced for the current crop of wang-waggers & twatwaffles who think their penises and vaginas are the golden things of the BDSM world. It takes far more to impress me than fancy implements and braggadocio. I have little appreciable income and yet I pay my bills (barely) and run a functional poly House with 5 submissives. Yes, four of them are part-time due to their careers, and my home is very old and under constant renovation. It is not about what you have in this life. It is about sincerity of action & heart. Prove yourself through those things. That is how I choose my friends and my submissives.
The one I teach now gained my attention by simply being my friend when I was hurting. He listens. He protects me. He holds me. He didn't try to fuck me. He helped me when I was sick—still does now while I'm recovering from this Cancer hell. He has NEVER lied to me. He adores his wife and daughter and is not afraid to show it. We talk all the time about his plans for their future. He's wicked intelligent and thinks outside the box about things. He's enthusiastic (sometimes like a kid) about projects and sometimes I'm dragged along for the ride or have to rein him in on things. He sings, acts, cooks, repairs cars, and is an athlete.
All I am doing, really, is teaching him techniques in BDSM and how to control strength he already has. I am showing him it is okay to be what he already IS, and how to use the talents and skills he has inside, outwardly. He hasn't had a partner before who met all his passions fully. He loves his wife. She's a wonderful lady but not primal. BDSM to her is abuse. Sensual play like a little light bondage, maybe some outdoors sex, and an occasional ass slap is about all the fun her suburban submissive (to borrow his phrase) self could handle. The biting, whipping, spanking, bondage, and etc. that we do and continue to explore would literally offend every sensibility in her world. However, it is all about communication and fulfillment between partners. Just my $0.02
What exactly am I DIY-ing?
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UPDATE!!!!!
According to the report I got today, the surgery was successful! They got all the cancer! Now I just have to HEAL & regain strength!
I want to thank everyone for the support and prayers during the past months. The hard part of the battle may be over, but now I have to recuperate & recover financially as well. I have a home to finish renovating & a local community to build.
When that pathology report was read out today, the weight of ages came off of me and I took the first deep breath I've had in months. While I have to follow the usual cancer monitoring protocol for 5 years before I'm officially declared "cured", I am "free" for now and will enjoy each day for all it can be! |
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I am battling cancer. I had surgery yesterday that hopefully got all of it. I am groggy today and hurting.
I cannot thank all my friends enough for the prayers they've given and the in person help as well.
For now, I am doing well. I will post updates. |
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Oh my gosh. ...you're a Dom?! I just slid off my chair with excitement, please let me slide my panties over to give you better access. Of course I'll spend my day talking to you about you and your needs. I love hearing about your cock, please show me 75 pictures of it! There can never be enough random dick in my opinion.
Thank you so much for your interesting messages, I know you must have put a ton of thought into it.. I mean "hey (select adjective) girl/lady" doesn't just type itself. I'm longing to hear about what you would do to me. I'm super grateful that I make your cock hard, it's my goal in life to hear about you jerking off while thinking about me. I understand I'm a submissive so automatically that means I have no standards or thoughts of my own. I'm obviously only on this site to have cyber sex or meet up for one night stands.
Thank you for calling me a bitch/slut/cunt/whore, I'm sure chicks dig that, I love it. I'm so happy that you couldn't be bothered to read my profile in order to find out anything about me. Please ask me boring and redundant question about my kinks and what I do for fun. I'd love to spend my afternoon trying to get you off while sharing our fantasies about each other (obviously).
I get so turned on when I inform you that I'm taken and you refuse to listen or stop. We both know I'm just teasing you, I obviously want you more than him. I'm so wet thinking about how many random messages I'm going to get today. I can't wait! I love Doms, mine imperticularly, so let's pretend I'm an actual person for a change.
Thank you GirlieGirl727 for this wonderful article. How true it is!
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I Belong to You
Four simple words that brought a content smile to my face that Saturday. I'd been waiting for my newest boy to realize what I'd known between us for weeks. He had been striving so hard to take care of me and keep me happy, and I teach him daily the little things that are my preferences, but this little epiphany seemed to have truly startled him.
We spend most of our waking hours together when we are not working. He is eager to try new things and forever curious about what else he can learn to be better at pleasing me. But that Saturday, I went to my home to take a nap while he ran some errands for himself, and the realization struck him:
He and I both knew, he belonged to me already. He just hadn't told me.
When he picked me up a couple hours later to take me out to dinner, he remedied that situation. All I could do was lightly kiss his cheek and let him know that of course I knew and was proud of my boy.
As his Dominant, it is my duty and responsibility to lead him into knowledge of what we do and fulfillment of both our needs & desires. For one who is unfamiliar with the ways in which my House operates, this requires in many ways somewhat formalized “training”, which surprised my boy. He thought he'd be dating and having BDSM to go with it. He didn't realize he'd be actively serving as well and learning what submission in the Dominance/submission or Master/slave mindsets would be to him. He didn't think he would learn about how I had trained as a novice in this life choice, nor that he'd become a true friend and trusted companion as well.
I know no other way to lead. I can only be as good to others as I have been taught to be. I want those I teach to have a solid foundation from which to grow. Those 4 wonderful words “I Belong to You” are ones I yearn to say to my own future Master. Can I have less pride in one who from his heart says them to me? If I ever do, I will cease this life choice in shame. |
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You Broke Me, Dammit!
From the day we met, because of HOW you presented yourself, I started to lay my trust in you. I'd been so closed off for so long and you were just suddenly there: strong and sexy and vouched for by the local group too. It was exactly what I never dared to hope I would find and YOU invited me in. I was nervous and wondering what you wanted from it all. How would you play? Would it be just bottoming or just sex? Would it be the full unicorn or some interesting path in between? Oh, restraining my nerves that first day when you came over on your lunch break was so difficult. I was shaking and frightened when you arrived. I had no idea what you would be like outside that brief exchange we'd had at the Munch.
You could see how nervous I was and set to put me at ease. You asked questions and guided me the way you wanted to see me go. I was shaking with nerves but you soothed me with your touch and words and opened a fire I'd not felt in years for anyone. The fear was banked but not gone by the end of your lunch and hope raged anew in my life with your invitation to join you & your wife for a day to see how we all meshed.
So I went to your house and we spent time, you and I in a BDSM session that was my first real bottoming in 6 years. We talked too, and I was able to start sharing with you why I'd not trusted anyone for so long. I trusted you with my divorce trauma and the loss of my children in it, with how my last Dom had just one day sat down and quit everything whilst claiming to be “Master” of all. When your wife got home, she and I talked and I watched you with her and loved the interaction you shared. We all talked about what you both wanted from a third in your home and we discussed my prior experiences. Then you sessioned with her while I watched and hungered for you both. This is how you invaded my soul, my mind, and found a path into my hopes and dreams and heart. You opened Pandora's box for me, and then, YOU BROKE ME, Dammit! But it's only hopes and dreams and I will rebuild them. Hopes and Dreams are like that. There are endless realms of them in a human psyche and YOU are not worthy of mine.
Over the year I spent with you, you played me like a yo-yo. Time when it was convenient. Humiliation and pain for your amusement and sex whenever you were horny. You'd text or cyber even though you knew how much I hated it and you taught me to obey things I never did for anyone else. I never had let myself be hidden from view before, and while discretion was nothing new, I'd never let myself be a party to full on adultery either, until YOU decided to lie to your wife later on in our time. I watched you and learned to lie to myself just as you lied to me “in the name of love”, but if this is love, I don't want it. You made me love you, and then you went further and made me fall IN LOVE with you, just because you needed to control all of me. Well, you did it. You slowly pushed until you were driving my submissives away from me, and convincing me to not see others unless you were with me. And all the time I was blind to what you were doing because I wanted you to approve of me totally. I wanted your happiness above all else in my life. Then one day, you looked at me and said “I release you” for the 2nd time and left me bereft and crying. YOU BROKE ME DAMMIT, but it was only my heart and pride. The heart has an amazing capacity to forgive and pride? Pride can be such a fucking doormat.
You never stopped texting me over the next weeks. You called and texted and cybered with me. You said you were miserable and horny and lonely. You told me you missed me. I told you too bad. That until & unless you got control of your temper & rages there was no fucking way. That unless we could be a true triad again I was fucking done w/ the mess. HER jealousy and hiding were not a part of my future anymore. YOU started making promises. SWORE to me you'd work it out. You asked me how to train her to be a true slave again. <snort> I should have known you were lying again. I started dating. Then one day I was with a friend, discussing poly, and didn't answer your texts. YOU just showed up while one duty, raging angry and yelling at me.You had no right to be possessive. YOU had released me. YOU were the one who'd declared us to be done. It didn't matter that I loved you still and was IN LOVE with you... or that every damn touch from you melted my soul. That when you chose to you could really go primal with me in BDSM and that our various fetishes and interests just fired each other's passions deeper and deeper. We had not found any limits between each other though you had scared me deeply a few times and threatened me with some things that were still on my “nix” list. You were reckless and at times careless and dangerous and I'd never let myself stay with anyone like that in the past. YOU had become my addiction and once again I couldn't stay away. YOU BROKE ME DAMMIT! This time it was my psyche and that's a harder fix. I will fix it but it will take my friends and my heart and my soul and time and energy. You don't deserve me. You never did.
After the final end, you told me I had been nothing but a fucktoy for you. I never quit on you. I never stopped serving faithfully, by your rules. I obeyed you. I made you proud even if you will never admit it. YOU were the one who lied and eventually committed perjury. You were the one who let your former property be stalked and humiliated publicly when she left you alone as requested. You were the one who had no honor in your dealings and let everything get out of control with your lies to us all. I was the one who had to seek protection from the courts to stop the harrassment from your wife/purported Alpha. YOU BROKE ME DAMMIT, but it was only trust, love, hope, and faith. You never broke my spirit. I have always been the stronger of us, and you hated me for that, all along.
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a slave's choice...
I spend a great deal of time in chat rooms and knocking craniums with people who claim to have like interests to mine. In so doing, we often discuss the definitions of slave versus submissive. One of the BEST definitions I have ever heard in my life was this, “a slave chooses once to commit/submit constantly while a sub chooses constantly to commit/submit” by a woman credited as an experienced Florida Dominant. I agree totally with her definition of slave versus submissive. It is how I am when I choose my partner, my Master, my Owner. It is what I look for when I choose my House members and trainees. The sincerity of heart and an attitude within are the very qualities my own first 3 Masters sought in me when I was beginning in this life.
In becoming a fully trained slave, one trains with one's Owner/Master or in a House to suit the preferences and ways of the Owner/Master/House. This training isn't just physical. It is social and mental and emotional and (often) sexual as well. In adult relationships that involve our kinks and fetishes and “alternative interests” which are legion, we must learn how to commit ourselves as best fits our needs, our health, our safety, and our sanities. Sometimes, these things do not all mesh together well. Other times, they do. Our lives are always a learning curve for ourselves and with those upon whom we impact. Those curves can require us to change so much about our lives to keep our relationships stable. Submissives may choose not to make the same life sacrifices for a relationship that the slave would. Training and commitment take different forms in each relationship. For a slave, because they commit to one person or one House on a deeper more permanent basis. We commit and we trust and we burn. In our hearts and our souls and our minds, we challenge each other and test our limits and needs and depths within our relationships. THAT is the wonderous part of this life choice, or should be. We can and do entrust all of ourselves into each others care with our choices. This depth of trust, however, enables us to be hurt if we choose wrongly as slaves. That is why the process of choosing should be a slow and careful series of stages together, delving each others thoughts, and preferences and ways until as Master and slave there is no hesitation or second guessing.
For a submissive, even in a long term relationship, the levels and ways are perhaps no less sincere, but often more narrowly defined. A submissive may choose for an hour or a day or a week...etc. A slave, in my opinion chooses for the longer term-- choosing with an eye for years worth of commitment or life where-ever possible. In my experience and training, submissives put personal preferences or gain ahead of the House or relationship's benefit before making final choices. For the slave, bowing to the needs of the House whether full information is in hand because of the depth of trust in her Owner/Master/House. A submissive will use her own judgment to make her final decision, often waiting for all information to come in, and while there may be a Dominant or top advising her, a submissive can and will make the choice on her own. A submissive will commit but she will commit as she chooses, just not always to the same person or house or cause or path. A submissive is often seen to be “playing a role” rather than “living the life” although I myself disagree somewhat with these specific phrasings. I do see that slaves choose to sacrifice more to have what they and their partner(s) want for their paths and will arrange their lives around those paths with sincere joy. I do not necessarily agree that it is “playing a role” to have a different way to live ones life for at least a space in time. Sometimes one must simply make harder choices to raise a family or have a career in the mainstream. Scheduling what we do around our life commitments is not “playing”, it is simply the way life in the 21st Century has developed. We choose to live as active people in our life choice and not hook-up artists in the 50 Shades of Grey world that has evolved since the literary phenomenon.
BDSM, D/s, and M/s are not legally acceptable lifestyle choices in most societies. Having these hobbies and interests in our lives makes us have to decide how to present ourselves in public. For those of us who have little or nothing to “lose”, we have to consider the potential loses our partners, friends, and families may have. All of this comes into play when a slave or a submissive commits to a relationship. The order of priority varies within the individual, however. A slave will ALWAYS put the Owner/Master/House's welfare before his/her own. The submissive will consider herself, the O/M/H, and then future implications. Are there overlaps in submissives and slave viewpoints? Of course there are. Plenty of submissives and slaves have the tendancies to commit more deeply or more shallowly. As we explore ourselves and learn, this life choice opens us to ever more expansive paths of self-discovery. Is that not why we choose it? Do we not want our Masters to test our limits and see that which we are capable of under their care? Is that not why we trust them? |
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Looking at My Marks from 2013... I was drying off after my shower this morning, rubbing coconut oil into my skin as I am wont to do... and I noticed the scar of a bite mark my last Master left on me, just at my pubic bone in the tender flesh he had bitten deeply in our last session together. For the first time since he released me, I was dry-eyed when I faced this cold reminder, and I finished my rubdown but also checked the other two places he'd preferred to feed-- at the base of my neck, where neck meets shoulder-- and sure enough, I have two more scars in the flesh there. As I dressed, on this cold, cloudy first day of 2014, I carefully ponder how I feel about these marks. I learned a lot last year. I committed deeply. I loved. I got HURT badly. I trusted wrongly. I made many many new friends, some of whom I didn't even realize loved or liked me until things tore apart so horribly at the end. Most of all, I was true to MYSELF. So now, I will explain some about these marks. I earned these marks. He didn't always ask if he could mark me. Sometimes, when we were in session, I was bound, gagged, hypnotized, hooded, or in a head-space in which I could not have consented in any way or fashion even if he had asked. Other times, he did ask-- and yes, those times I did consent. I will say that sexually I do enjoy rough wild things. Roleplay for me can be edgy and intense. I do, however, have limits and phobias. My former Master deliberately chose to make me love him. He went further though. He pushed til I fell IN LOVE with him too. Then he kept pushing to break though limits that NOONE else ever got through. It hasn't been long since he released me. I am not Healed. I am Healing. I am alone and afraid all the time. My friends are helping me. My Covens are protecting me. I am not Sad about my Marks. I earned them. They are signs that I am and was indeed the Slave he did not deserve and never will. Suezanne |
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Choosing to NOT be the Victim of Predators
I read a description in a profile a few days ago that made me think hard about some events I have recently gone through as well as what I have seen BDSM changing into over the last 15 years or so. “Submission is not about being used. It is about being of use. Submission is not about what is done to you, Submission is about what you do for others. Strong men simply need women. This will never be understood by weak men. A strong man needs a woman at his feet, who is truly his. Anything else is less than his fulfillment.” I can add to this statement that the woman (women) at his feet must be at least as strong as he, for society will challenge their right to be in that chosen place. Making this choice for one's lifestyle, however, does not give the men or women you choose as your Dominants or Masters the right to abuse you in any way, during or after the relationship. That is something that is in a hard crevice in our world because all too often we have to remain hidden. The morality laws of the various United States in general have not caught up to the alternative lifestyles of the 21st century, and very likely never will. There-fore, it is up to US, individually, to choose to NOT be victims. Seek strength, honesty/honor, and challenge your partner's spirit, intellect, and heart while you're learning about each other.
In my various writings, I have espoused the importance of self-awareness of one's own needs and desires. I have equally stressed the need for partners to communicate fully with each other. Whenever that self-awareness breaks down or that completeness in communication fails, the partners should step back and start over to rebuild that step. I have let myself be blinded by need and emotion and, ultimately, ended up deeply hurt or harmed by this failure in myself/my judgement. I have seen it in others as well and watched their relationships avalanche into hell. I have ignored warning signs out of sheer need to believe in the strength & love being promised by my partner. I doubt anything could have prepared me for the psychotic levels of insanity I've found recently, but deception, god-complexes, multiple personality type issues, and certainly anger management and jealousy issues abound. Move carefully when getting to know someone. Keep records of conversations, as you never know how long you will need them.
Sometimes, when you share your deepest fears, those hidden predators will turn around and use those things later in small ways to break through your hard limits. For instance, I am deeply claustrophobic due to an incident at a party in college. In roleplay alone, this knowledge has been used to frighten me; and in hypnosis sessions it has been used to incite deep fighting responses. To me, the hypnosis sessions qualify as abuse. I was unable to give consent during those, thus, I consider them harmful. However, I trusted him enough to allow the hypnosis, initially. It was only later that I learned what was done. In sessions, you let your Master bind and gag you. No safe word, no way to signal that he's gone too far... and then something happens and you're unconscious-- injured-- on the floor. You come to, and the injury is minor enough and will heal... a sprain, a cut, a small thing or a cut. Bandage it, a butterfly, or an ace and ice, and he cuddles you and is apologetic and concerned about “the heat of the moment” and you're riding the endorphins anyway and so in love with him... It is still abuse. Each time will get deeper and deeper until the time he really hurts you or worse.
And then, what about the emotional harm? When you're treated like a yo-yo, or ignored for your skills, or taken for granted, or simply told you don't matter anymore. What do you do when you're followed endlessly by the one you no longer want to see again? Or worse, by the the new partner of your last partner? When your last partner had a spouse who decided to end things for both of you? What do you do when all your intelligence and confidence is shredded by the one who has held your heart & soul in his hands? How do you cope with the detritus?
I am fortunate in my community. I am well known locally and active in my town and many others. I have good friends who did not let me be alone to handle this. I was referred to the proper authorities for advice and got assistance to ensure my personal safety. IF at any time, your former partner intimidates you or threatens your health/well-being, you do have the legal option (right) to protect yourself from their actions WHETHER OR NOT YOUR LIFESTYLE CHOICE IS LEGAL IN YOUR STATE. All too often, victims think they must remain quiet for the wrong reasons. Do not let it happen to you. |
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In The Beginning...
I was 19. I had been bid to decide what my next step in life would be. I could continue to stay with my friends, and pursue a career path I really did not enjoy and probably still be successful in life. I did, however, have another option. It was a frightening, unusual, and outre life path not meant for the faint of heart. Was I brave enough to pack my possessions, put them all in storage as this option required, and put all my money into a savings account in order to be available for this position? Simply put, was my damaged heart, mind, and soul willing to take this chance to reach for what I knew could be the ONLY way to get what I really needed?
The taxi dropped me off at the end of the drive. As the instructions had stated, a gardener's gate was to the left. Just inside this gate was a small brick building. The light turned on when I tried the switch. A small, clean plain walled room with a plain wood table and a single unfinished chair was all I saw. It wasn't cold, but I was nervous and shivering. I was early; although the instructions had said to arrive before midnight, I doubt they'd intended me to arrive at noon. Too late, though, to change my arrival time now. I stripped my clothes and folded them neatly. I'd brought a small bag in which to store them. Plain leather flat sandals in first, then the small skirt, panties, bra, and,.finally, the t-shirt. On top of it all the storage room key and savings account passbook . The instruction letter folded neatly on top, although that had been memorized weeks before this date. I closed the zipper on the bag and I knelt beside it, oddly calm, now, and felt ready for almost anything as I just meditated and breathed.
I stood at last with the bag in hand, and took one deep cleansing breath. I didn't look back at the room. I just walked to the door, opened it, and, with my head held high, went into the day ahead to begin anew. The breeze embraced my body.. I didn't know how to handle the sensations of the air on my skin, the light caressing my flesh and the possibility of eyes on me at any time. It was broad daylight. I was nude. I was fat. I was damaged goods. I had no training. Gods I was scared. I wanted to run … I gritted my teeth and carefully, sometimes maybe one step in 20 minutes... put one foot in front of another and I made that walk up that long wooded driveway to the House with my bag in hand. By the time I got to the House steps I was in tears and shaking so badly it is a wonder I even looked human. I could not even walk up the steps though. I had to crawl up them. And crawl I did. All twenty of them. I crawled them and counted each one of them as I crawled and when I got to the door I kissed it because I had made it to the House and I could not stop crying. I had made it there. I was where I wanted to be, and I was still petrified that I would not be acceptable to the Master of the House for Service.
I knocked, but not on the main door. I knocked on the smaller side door. The main door was for guests and I was NOT a guest. I was not a member of the House. I wanted to become a submissive to the House but I was not even trash for the House yet. I'd only been told to prove myself. I was here to do that. This was my one and only chance. When the door opened, I did not lift my head. I was still crying. A voice asked me who I was. I answered, “one hoping to become worthy of training.”
A hand grabbed my hair and dragged me over the threshold. I kept my eyes down, but was unable to stop more tears from falling. A single word, “Stay”, and I was dropped. I lay limply as the feet passed from my view. I heard people moving and soon saw several pairs of feet, some shod, some not, take stances around me. A hand grabbed my hair and pulled me up, not ungently, but firmly. Other hands posed me, feet just so, shoulders back, chest out, hips squared. I carefully kept my eyes down and made not a sound. Tears continued to streak my cheeks. I simply could not stop that—I believe they were cathartic and hopeful tears all in one. Hands explored my body all over, no part of me was left unexplored in this first position. Soon though I was moved and leaned into a harsh bend against the wall with my forehead pressed tight to the wall and my genitals and ass exposed to everyone. Fingers and maybe other s explored me, some gentle, some rough; and at one point there was pain enough that I couldn't keep silent, which drew a laugh from someone male.
“It will do. Clean it properly. Assign it to Maia” Ten wonderful words that changed my life forever.
I was then taken gently by a woman who took my bag out of my hand. She told me her name was Maia. She would be my Trainer. Today was the last day I would be allowed to look at her or freely sign a document. After my contract with the house was signed, the only other freedom I would have would be the ability to leave the house with my bag, which would be in the Master's office. After I was cleaned, I would go to the office to discuss the House rules and sign the contract. Only Master, his Alpha, and I would know the terms of that contract. Everyone in the House had the same basic House rules. Master and the Alpha handled special training for contract specifics. None of this seemed odd to me. I was euphoric over being accepted into the House for training. I was almost NUMB with happiness and really wasn't sure yet if it wasn't a dream.
I'd been following Maia blindly, and was actually startled when I realized we had reached a dormitory style shower room. Maia set my bag on a long low counter. She opened a cabinet and pulled out a razor, a tooth brush, toothpaste, shave cream, soap, lotion, a loufa, wash cloth, and towels. Se pointed to one of the showers and told me to adjust the water to the temp I preferred. “You will never have privacy in here, or only rarely.” While I adjusted the water, she went to another cabinet and got a pair of barber's clippers out. She led me over to the low counter, which was in front of a mirror, and handed me the clippers. I asked simply, “May I have a pony tail holder? It will be less messy.” I still remember Maia's smile. I didn't do a very good job that day but the clippers had a guard on them so I had about ½ inch of hair all over my head by the time I turned the clippers back over to Maia to fix what I had missed. What was in the pony tail holder we coiled into a pretty blue bag for presentation to Master when I signed my contract. It hadn't really taken that long to do, and the shower cleaned the itchy bits off my skin, too. Maia showed me how to shave myself properly, which felt really strange as I'd never done that before. I was very self-conscious about having a woman who was NOT a nurse or doctor touching me and shaving me.
Finally we were done with the cleaning. I was thoroughly clean, and dry, and freshly shorn. I was bald below the eyebrows. I had been massaged and lotioned and told to NEVER raise my eyes unless instructed to do so by herself or the Master or Alpha/Mistress. Everyone in the House was my senior or Superior and thus was Sir or Ma'am except for Master or his Alpha who was Mistress. My mind was whirling with all these things; and I was once again feeling afraid and insecure. Maia was escorting me to Master's office to sign my contract. My bag was in her hand. The bag with my ponytail was in my hand. As we walked down the hall, I trembled more and more. My knees got weaker and weaker and I once again began to cry silently. I'd been selected for a chance to train, and yet how could I be worthy? I was fat, damaged, worthless, untrained, and useless. WHY had I been chosen? I had to leave before they found out, before the Master saw through this facade and laughed at me for sullying his floors. Maia must have seen or felt the panic in me. She stopped and moved behind me. She leaned against me and whispered to me, “The hardest journey you have to make is already made, because you came down that driveway this afternoon, little one.” She stood there, just leaning, I know not how long... but it seemed like both forever and only an instant, which made absolutely no sense and was utterly perfect, until some tiny signal let her know the panic was past. And we proceeded, almost as if there had been no hiccup, to Master's office. She opened the door, and set my bag on a lovely, huge carved oak desk, and left.
There were chairs in front of the desk. They were comfortable looking leather bound and beautiful. I had been given no instructions for this time. I had been about 6 feet inside the door when Maia left, so I simply knelt and meditated with the blue bag neatly on my knees. When Master arrived, I could at least be calm and rested. Apparently this plan worked too well, because I startled when the door opened Master's Alpha actually laughed about that. “ I'm sorry Mistress. I shouldn't have napped.” Neither of them was offended and were in fact pleased that I had not been exploring the room while waiting for them. I will not give details of my contract but I do still feel that it was incredibly beneficial to me especially over the long term—educationally, socially, and professionally.
Once negotiations were done, I presented the bag containing my hair to Master in front of the entire gathered House. He locked it in his display case with my bag, and my contract. Around my neck, he place a small steel chain with a tiny padlock. He had one key. His Alpha had another. He took the lock in his hand and led me to Maia. “Suezanne, you are our trainee. This is your Trainer, Maia. Welcome to the House of Royce.” Everyone repeated, “Welcome.”
Maia led me to the kitchens. I was given a blanket. I slept on the floor that night. I was content That was my first day in my new life. |
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In the chat room this morning, hot monkey sex was the subject. I stated that any sex was better than none. Someone else said, "There's no such thing as bad sex." Well, I disagree. I've had sex many thousands of times in my long active life since I was 18. I can tell you that there are dozens of levels of sex from "why bother" to "OMG it's so good I'm gonna die". I'm going to now expound on the levels I use for my own classifications. What does this have to do with BDSM and D/s? Depends on whether you include actual intercourse or oral sex in your play time. Enjoy my thoughts on this subject.
I'll start with the "why did I bother" levels:
1) there's inexperienced sex--boys and girls you do have to move, experiment and play to really learn what works for you AND YOUR PARTNER. If you don't care about your partner's enjoyment, please castrate yourselves now and save us all the time/effort/disappointment. Sex is a TEAM SPORT. Let's all work together to eradicate dumbasses getting laid, ok?
2) don't-know-what-to-do-after-he-gets-it-in sex--this one falls into the "(s)he's really attractive but what the hell was I thinking" category for me. Just because you're drop dead gorgeous, built like a brick shithouse, or got charisma in spades, doesn't mean that you're all that in the sex world. Enthusiasm is NOT enough to carry the day here. There are probably millions of books out there about improving sexual technique. For goddess' sake, read up and apply the damn lessons. Sex doesn't have to be kinky to be good. Missionary is not the only position. Let's work with the program here!
3) big dick no moves sex--I don't care if you're 3 inches and thin or 14 inches and bigger than a mason jar. Good sex isn't about size. Some women insist that bigger is better, but by dammit talent and enthusiasm do count. If you're too big, you can actually HARM your partner unless you learn some preparation methods and technique for during the acts. I think Hippocrates was on the right track: First Do No Harm. But just showing up for class isn't enough. You do have to try and pass the tests, just like in school.
4) screendoor (slam it so hard the hinges break) sex--In my experience, smaller men tend to use this technique to compensate for lack of size. Of course, if you LIKE rough fast and hard sex, you're in luck with this category of partners. Personally, I'd like to NOT be bruised, raw, bleeding and non-orgasmic too boot. If I'm going to have sex, with someone I care about, I want to make sure he or she enjoys the experience and orgasms at least once (preferably more) and unless that's his/her kink, doesn't go away bleeding/bruised. Now good sex that leaves you bruised/bleeding/raw and limp from orgasm...that's a whole nother kettle of fun.
then you get into the
5) "inexperienced but heard a lot and willing to apply rumors" sex--these partners can and will be taught and will one day become the ultimate in sexual adventures. Let's here it for curious, courageous, never-say-die spirit!!!!!
6) got some moves and more than willing to learn more sex--if you've got the basics down, learning the extras is the Indiana Jones jackpot for this category.
7) not bad but nothing spectacular--these partners can be taught unless they're stuck on themselves. They'll do in a pinch even if they're not willing to learn.
and moving up.... you have:
8) "it's not that big but oh man it's double jointed and talented dancer" sex--the lover who was most able to tie me in sexual knots and multiple intense orgasms was not greatly endowed. However, he'd taken time to learn I think about every trick of the trade as far as sexually pleasing his partner(s). This gentleman is to this day one of my best friends, not-withstanding my husband/Master.
9) "big boy got some serious rhythm" sex--this is a nice bonus to having a blessedly endowed partner. First he's big enough that you've gotta have some serious foreplay to get your body ready, but then he's also got the moves and willingness to apply them. This category can lead to the "Comatose at the end" status if you're lucky.
10) hot monkey sex--you know when the pheromones are flowing and you've gotta have sex right here right now, up against a tree (or over a motorcycle seat, or in a barn, or on the kitchen counter/table....). This is usually rough but ready quickies, often repeated several times throughout the day (if you're really lucky). Not a lot of time and probably with a serious risk of gaining an audience (maybe even inspiring them to have their own monkey sex) before you're done, this kind of sex is gut-wrenching and knee-weakening. Let's hear it for the quickies!!!!!
11) Tarzan sex--take monkey sex, add in chandaliers, ropes, lots of time and privacy and take it to the repeat orgasm and oh goddess I'm gonna be sore tormorrow level. This is my personal favorite of all the sex categories. This is what I refer to as "anything goes" sex and well I'm a kinky wench at heart anyway.
12) OMG he's gonna rock my world til I'm comatose sex--You don't find a lot of these but girls when you do, marry them if you can and if not, well.... isn't that why affairs are so fun? If you're single, these types are great especially if you don't know you're getting it til it's happening. Multiple orgasms, lots of invested time and energy, and cuddling afterwards. Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Clause!
and then the best, absolute to die for:
13) this is so good I'm gonna die from it sex--I married this one. I'm so lucky I can't even express it all. And I get to combine whips, chains, and the top 6 categories of sex all in one. There's a party going on right here.... A Celebration to last throughout the year... (wasn't that the Commodores?)
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In the Soul of the Slave...
There is much discussion today about labels for everyone in this lifestyle: Master, Slave, dominant, submissive, top, bottom, sadist, masochist, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, pansexual, heteroflexible, etcetera. One term that seems to catch the most disrespect and scoffing is the descriptor “Switch”. A Switch in BDSM is that personality who can in session take the role of either the Dominant or the Submissive for a set time period. Some Switches can do so based upon the needs of the partner(s) during the scene, others do so for a set time period then relinquish control.
I was trained to be a slave. It is my core. Because I am a strong capable person, my Master decided I could be an Alpha slave, capable of managing a Household and other slaves in his absence. His Alpha trained me as she had been trained, because it pleased our Master and before I left that House Master and his Alpha were both well pleased with my abilities. I am always a slave, although at time I am un-Owned. When I am un-Owned, I have to adjust my mindset to serve MYSELF. As an Alpha, once I make that change to my mindset, it is only a matter of managing the submissives and slaves I would have previously managed for my Master's House. Now, though, it is for My House, because I am my own Master. It makes me valuable Property in my own right. I let nothing go to waste. I can have my own slaves and submissives and run a valuable Poly House through a simple change in mindset. Thus a slave can be Dominant through training. It is a mindset. It is the Alpha way to maintain and improve value until a new Owner is found.
There are people who say, “I have a slave side and with my Owner I am totally His and in no way do I ever gainsay His ways, but he allows me to go out and express my dominant side with others” and yet they do not classify themselves as Switches, at all. In their own minds they are like two separate people, one person at home with their Owner/spouse, and another totally with their submissive/play partner(s), because they do not “switch” personas at home. Still others have said that switches are just very confused submissives who haven't met the right Dom. I have listened to these statements being made and been amazed at the simple self delusion of the human animal.
Perhaps one day, I will find my Master again. Perhaps not. I am, in the language of all these labels this age is so fond of, a very complex woman. I am strong and secure. I am sensual and sexual. I am sadist and masochist. I am PRIMAL. I am me. I have over a quarter century of real life experience that has drawn my blood, sweat, tears, and all the other fluids from me as well. Do I Switch? YES. DO I care what anyone else thinks of my switching? NO. Because none of them are my Owners. None of them live in my life. And if any of them want to gainsay me, come on into my House and live this life with me.
Suezanne |
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One thing I have learned through the years in D/s and BDSM is that in my soul I need to take care of those in my world. Does this make me a Dominant, a Mistress, a Submissive, or a Slave? I have found that WHAT I am, is in fact a plethora of application and will. How I am perceived, on the other hand, is a matter of who happens to be looking, or caring, at any given point in time. Are you confused yet? Good. That means you are paying attention. Interpretation is EVERYTHING in BDSM & D/s. There is no true right or wrong.
A Dominant/Master/Mistress and a submissive/slave are both caretakers. They simply do it from different perspectives. The Dominant plans for the long-term with an eye for the health and safety of all his family, whether he survives or not. The submissive facilitates those plans and enables the ease of the Dominant's life by taking care of him and his family. Sometimes it is short term, sometimes long term, but either way, the submissive's facilitation of her Dominant's plans is how her value to him increases over time. Thus his care of her will continue, and hers of him... and so on.
If a Dominant is not able to provide for himself a home with food and utilities with a few months cushion in the event of emergency, how can he provide for a submissive? If a submissive is unable to provide for herself a home with the same requirements, how can she be of value to her Dominant? Neither should be a burden to the other at the onset of a relationship. No one can foresee what health and the fates will throw at people over the course of 10 to 30 years of life, but at least initially, all parties in a relationship, vanilla or otherwise, should contribute to its success.
I run a successful poly House. My requirements for all applicants are basic: be employed or financially able to contribute to the house; be available at least 2 days a week to serve in person; be local or able to travel to this house; be polite; be educated or plan to go back to school asap. Everything else is negotiable for this House. I am a dominant primary primal tantric sado-masochist Switch. What that basically means is that I can, and will, teach what needs to be taught. I prefer my submissives be bi-sexual, but it is not required. I do not employ force in anything I do. I do encourage exploration of many paths.
Here on , you will find almost limitless fetishes to explore and as many people with whom to discuss and perv them as you probably couldn't have imagined even existed. Even as long as I have explored this arena, I find new fetishes and discussions every time I come online. I make new friends and associates EVERY munch and event I attend. I have to say, there are things out here that make me blink and stutter. Party on. |
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| Age: 27 |
| Davao,
Philippines |
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