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Been interested in a few journals on here recently. Ball play, CBT and even the ultimate have been attracting my interest most of all. Considering the importance i ascribe to them it even scares me placing them completely out of my hands (as it were). Is this normal or healthy? Anyway it doesn't stop my interest. |
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Nearly a year since i put anything down here..hmm. A lot has happened with me, mostly personal relationship stuff that i won't go into here. Hey-ho, i'm still a lowly sub seeking my ideal Lady, so nothing much changes. Though recently i've been drawn to needle-play as something that interests me. Maybe there is some lovely Lady with a need to inflict some cruel pain. Ah well what are the chances of You reading this? |
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Haven't added to this journal for a while so i thought it might be an idea to give You some indication of where i'm at. Recently i've been looking into needle play. It seems very interesting and can be rather exciting. i have never had the chance to find out if it would live up to the hype. Though there is one special Lady with a certain glove that started this whole thing. Maybe i should see if it holds any interest with her.
Being powerless and inferior are the present topics that i'm reflecting on. That moment when control passes to Her. That is the moment where that frisson begins and I hope where You start to enjoy Your willing subject.
If only I could be back home and not travelling on the what seems like the edge of the world. Soon i hope. |
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Recently i've been trying to understand my preoccupation with ballbusting. i think it comes down to the need to feel completely vulnerable. To be sure i have felt vulnerable in the past but it is only the times when i thought that the Lady was capable of resorting to attacking that most sensitive and precious part (to me at least) that my adrenaline really peaks and my vulnerability is laid bare. It is my hope to find some female dominant who would enjoy exploring this power. |
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Is it just my age or what? Recently i've been finding myself drawn to ballbusting. It seems weird to me when i value that part of my body so highly and yet i feel the need to meet someone who has every intention of hurting severely. Ooh i do find the thought quite irresistible. |
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Well the chastity device was a bit of a disaster. They shouldn't allow some designs - not good. Metal won't be my next choice.
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i must be going round the bend...just purchase a chastity device with the view of givingthe keys to someone. The idea of my favourite friend being out of my control holds a strange and strong attraction. Though i might have to invest in a better one if this proves to be a long term thing. |
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It has been a while since i last wrote on here. It would be wrong to say nothing much has happened. For a start i have had some very thoughyful approaches from a number of members. Some from Male Doms who are inviting me to do things i have never considered before. Some people just looking for friendship which i would like to thank. Unfortunately my life has been in a state of flux which has seen me travelling most of the time, often to places where the internet hasn't yet reached and even mobile phones have a problem getting through to. In 2010 i wouldn't have thought there were still such communication problems! Anyway i'm really sorry for not being able to keep in touch.
There has been one development, one incredible Lady who has wowed me so much that i have invested hope in despite all my previous experiences of being ripped off or let down. i have always known there are genuine people on here and have even met some though uptil now it has usually been a case of it just wouldn't work. This time it might just. If it does this Christmas will be something to remember.
Anyway Happy Christmas and a Wonderful New Year to all of You. |
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Let me be realistic for a moment. i would like to make love to all the women in the world (something to do with being a horny male who is completely in love with the female form, the female mind and the female supremacy). However i am more than aware that though every single Lady in the world has at least one special quality and most a whole lot more, i am sadly lacking in points of attraction. It is therefore i would only too happily have them as friends given that this is the closest i am ever likely to get to sharing joy and having emotional release with them. Yes, i know there are the Few who might just find something attractive in me and for Them i'd crawl over hot coals, but these few are about One in one hundred thousand. Does this make me sad? i don't think so. Though it does make me appreciate that Special One when She finds me. |
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And so the pendulum swings once more in Your favour. The jig is up, my game is over.
It was foolish to think i could outsmart a real Mistress of the game.
i can't help notice that You have been watching me close.
You knew all along, didn't You? So You've just been watching to see the realisation dawn on my face. Is it part of the reason You hunt?
There could only be one winner and it was always going to be You. i had only a pea-shooter while You were fully loaded.
The quick young Domme runs circles round the dim witted sub.
i wonder what it means? |
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Please forgive for me asking this but is chatting to people in other time zones always doomed?
i had read various Mistress's profiles that have stated "U.K. only" or the likes but had always dismissed this. Partly because i am in the U.K. and partly because i am a submissive. Now i know better. The effort of staying up late or getting up in the middle of the night plays havoc with my work and the rest of my daily routine.
The whole thing is normally doomed before it begins for me anyway with the significant distance making real time meetings expensive and infrequent. Not to mention the bleary-eyed online sessions that can all too quickly lose the edge. Don't know if i'd say U.K. only but i think i'd say this side of the planet. Unless.. |
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Hooray, it has been a good day in a lot of ways. Finally someone is talking sanely on here, just hope my eccentricities don't show through or is that just my feelings of inadequacy speaking. No seriously for the most part i'm happy. Just hope Princess Alexa doesn't decide to kill herself. That might put a dampner on things. |
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Online is garbage most of the time.
Sometimes You don't even know who your speaking to.
Sometimes you get asked or told to send a payment, tribute or whatever to prove your not a time waster. Sometimes when you 'prove' yourself the other party will just ignore you once they've got all they wanted. As a submissive it is in my nature to obey and it is very difficult to ask for some kind of mutual proof.
Sometimes the whole point is to bleed you dry and your even told in advance.
Sometimes i look back at the times i have been used and abandoned for money and i vow never again.
Sometimes you meet a genuine Domme who could keep you from further pitfalls. Online is like a fruit machine, the odds are stacked but some of us are easily addicted to hope. |
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There are many Dominants on here with the words 'NO TIME WASTERS' on their profiles. i just like to make the point that until contact is made and both Dominant and submissive get to know each other better we are never sure if we are wasting each others time. As a submissive i am serious, serious to take the time to write an honest and humble letter of approach. Everything i say i mean, but sometimes i find i am not talking to the person i thought i was. Maybe the profile doesn't convey the right image to me, perhaps alarm bells ring or whatever. All i am saying i mean to waste no ones time especially the Dominant that will finally own me. |
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It wasn't expected. The creaking shouldn't have come from behind. No that was all wrong. 'Damned blindfolds always put on at the most inappropriate moment. Where the heck am I?' Could it be that in the darkness senses were confused? Maybe the stairs were behind. Trouble is there is only one way to find out and that's the hard way.
How should i start a message so that it might actually get read? i guess the following might be wrong, 'Hi, i'm a submissive and Your looking for a submissive, so here i am.' If i am wrong please tell me but i don't think that'll get me too far.
Suppose i could always change my profile, add six inches to my height and lose twenty years, maybe even invent some money and steal my words from poets, but it wouldn't really help. i am not seeking one response but rather the start of something. Something that grows as each party learns more from the other, a friendship of sorts.
So how do You make contact with the right one? (Answers in a message please.) |
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Hi yet again,
TO AL OF MY READER I SHALL BE AWAY ON ONE OF MY TRAVELS THIS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY. |
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Hi All,
i think i must have written to just about every Goddess, Mistress, Lady, Domme and Sundry Other named Members on CM, Who seemed likely to be interested in me at all, during the short time i have been a member here. Many have replied though to date only One still might be the possible Gem that i have searched for. Don't get me wrong One is all i seek. Sometimes i hate the internet when adelay in getting back could be for any reason for a serious problem (which i do hope it is not), to a poor connection or worse a change of heart. Oh Lord this taes me back to my youth when it was the telephone i hated...and not the telegraph or pigeon post that some of the more unkind may suggest.
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Please note that this isn't directed at this sites members unless there are some who have also migrated here as well. Though i fear it won't be too long before it does.
i joined this site to meet interesting people and perhaps even find a long term Mistress. Someone who isn't just wanting to take my cash and run. It might be cynical of me but my experience with other sites is that there is any number of people claiming to be genuine with a life centred around Femdom who are not. Male submissives are so thick on the ground we must seem like a cash cow to anyone without a conscience. It seems that every teenager with a laptop wants to empty the wallet of the first gullible sub who comes along. Now it seems that this phenomena is no longer restricted to the teens as more and more older and seemingly proper Ladies are playing the same. How many times have i heard the chestnut 'pay to play'. i understand that a life devouted to Femdom wouldn't support itself without tribute thatisn't my gripe. It is a more the 'pay and go away' subculture that seems to have risen. Maybe it is just me or my fairly vulnerable age group who are perceived to have more money than sense. i don't know. Wish i did. Anyway all You true Dominant Ladies please stay true. |
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Am i the only person on here that finds the chat function doesn't work despite downloading a new version of Java and trying everything else. If You've had problems i'd appreciate hearing about it. |
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Hi All, i have only been on here a month or so and i'm learning quite a bit. Firstly i have learned to how to put myself in the bad books of one very beautiful Lady. She knows who. Truly i am very sorry. i guess there won't be any future there but at least i have learned one major lesson and i thank her for that.
On a different note please understand that i am not only looking to find a Mistress but i am also keen to find friends. It is amazing how much can be learnt through chatting. |
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