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mayrajh

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Friends:
LordSeussMDMalvrikDareToKnowMe28Rescuer13601
Cinja7
ropesandcuffs
***READ THIS, MY PROFILE AND JOURNAL BEFORE SENDING ME A MESSAGE ****
i am very new to BDSM (be gentle) . If you are looking for someone who moves fast and is all into sex rather than genuinely getting to know them, this is not the girl for you. i want to know Someone, to take the time to try and make a connection wether just as friends or something deeper. i am not looking to just hand out my contact information willy nilly, in the event that W/we connect well enough that i give my contact information, don't abuse it. i have a job and am willing to continue contributing, but you must have a job and contribute as well. For further clarification ask. I DO NOT HAVE A WEBCAM, DON'T ASK! i am not looking for 24/7 and am not willing to relocate at this time. my RL encounters have been very little and so i have nearly no experience, but i wish to explore further.
i have had bi-sexual experiences but am seeking to explore even more.
i am shy, tend to be very passive, loving, romantic, sensual, i love giving massages and back rubs. Am not opposed to trying new things as long as Someone who is patient with me and any hangups i might have.
Most of my life i have had to be the aggressor in relationships, not really liking to have to be in that role all the time.When I say that I am not saying I have been the Dom in a relationship as I've not had a D/s relationship. I mean I've had to be the one making decisions, sometimes the only one supporting financially, the one who gets things done or moving along. I've had to be the strong one, suck it up like a good soldier and move along, all the while craving to have someone else take the reins at least some of the time. i am hoping to at least meet new people, perhaps make new friends who can help lead me in the right direction for my curiosities and if a relationship develops, bonus. No children! No animals! Furries I do not mind, but I am not into beastiality. I am potentially okay with some age play depending on the age. I am NOT into having you try to make me relive awful experiences in my life.
4/20/2013 7:12:38 PM

Still not on here as much as I'd like to be. I do try to reply to messages, sometimes it still takes me a couple days.

Right now I'm just seeking friendship, there are things going on in my personal life that I need to focus on and the results may change things for me completely.

Been reconnecting with people from my past in a good way, but it makes my plate very full, my mind swimming and unsure of my next step.

6/24/2012 1:24:08 PM

I haven't been on here in quite some time. I'm sorry for anyone who has felt neglected. I'm not ignoring my messages, this simply is the first time I've logged on in months. I've had a few changes in my life and living situation, which drew my focus away from the internet until things weren't as hectic and muddled.

I'm still not back 100% but wanted to leave an update. I've not disappeared for good, I just am not on here as much as I'd like right now. I'm going to try and check at least once a week here, so if you leave me a message it might take a few days for me to reply.

2/13/2010 8:08:02 AM
Recent meeting of new people has made me aware that perhaps I need to put more in my profile. I have a few things listed as hard limits, if you're going to contact me please READ MY PROFILE ENTIRELY! I have ass play listed as a hard limit, I have my reasons, don't dismiss that and proceed to badger me about wanting ass play, especially if you have told me yourself you don't do ass play. Hello!?
No children!
No animals! Furries I do not mind, but I am not into beastiality.
I am potentially okay with some age play. But I am NOT into having you try to make me relive awful experiences in my life.
Badgering me, harrassing me, being an ass then coming back to chat with me as if nothing happened is NOT something I enjoy. If that is your thing, what you get into, move along. I have enough stress and drama of my own and that crashes into my life periodically without inviting more on purpose.
I will chat with pretty well anyone, talk and chat about most any topic. But if you want to get to know me, to have anything physical with me, take the time to read my profile and see what I have listed. That's what a profile is for.
7/4/2009 12:06:12 PM
Happy 4th of July everyone! Heading out to a cookout with a few co-workers today, should be some good fun, good people.
Hope everyone has a great day.
6/26/2009 10:21:11 PM
Well I finally have a day job again and don't have to work evening shift...yay! New call center, new company for about 1 1/2 years now and I enjoy it so much more than my last job. Too much stress.
6/21/2009 12:09:07 PM
I finally have internet access back and will try to keep checking back here on a regular basis.
I am still unowned, but haven't been looking too terribly hard since my net access wasn't very reliable or steady.
I really wish to explore, just not sure where to begin and am rather cautious in doing so.
7/15/2008 11:16:16 PM

Much has happened in the past year. I am no longer owned but have remained good friends with my former Mistress and Master, they are true gems in my life.
My internet connection is non-existant at home right now as I've recently moved into a new place and am still getting everything settled.
With that being said, any message I get here will not go unanswered but it may take me a few days or week til I can get to a computer to check.

5/15/2007 7:48:03 PM
At this time i am no longer seeking a Mistress or Master. i am now proudly owned by a beautiful couple who started as Two wonderful friends and it has developed into so much more than i had ever hoped for. i do not mind talking with O/others and making F/friends but that is all. 
3/6/2007 11:55:44 PM

At the urgings and pushings of a good friend, i am once again looking for a Mistress or Master. i took the time to go through my profile really well and update it as my experience has actually grown some. i have found the pleasure/pain of the flogger and discovered i rather like it. Anyways, wish me luck and W/we'll see what happens along the way.

11/30/2006 12:07:13 PM
I am no longer searching for a Mistress or Master at this time. I am taking a hiatus so that I may concentrate on some things in my personal life.
Anyone who wishes to message me just to talk, feel free as I do enjoy meeting new people, but just keep in mind I am not seeking at this time.
11/2/2006 11:40:37 AM
i have found One who makes me feel so wonderful inside and out. One who i am so close to, that i can laugh and love with. One who i envy for their strength, who makes me feel so warm and comfortable. One who has gotten into my heart and into my mind and into my very being. One who i can't wait to talk to , to be around, to see. One who i love to do things for, to try and anticipate what they need or want.

i have found One who is actually two, They make me feel like family, like i belong. the emptiness just doesn't seem to be there when i am with Them either one on one or together. who brings me out of my shell. who when i am with there is no one else...
 They are my world.

They are not mine, They shall not be mine, but i am honored and privleged to have Them as friends, to have Them in my life.

it is such a joy to watch Them, to sometimes remove myself from where i am and just gaze, observe Them interact with each other and everyone else.

i promised i would not stop searching, would continue seeking Someone for myself here, but how do you find Someone to come even close to what They make me feel? it's hard not to be discouraged as They find someone to bring into Their life and yet i am still floating around trying to find Someone who seems to be serious about me, who isn't living several states away or countries away, who doesn't seem to be playing games or to have actually read what i put on my profile. 

  i've been the observer before, it's a role i'm comfortable with and this time it's such a pleasure to people watch. perhaps it's what's best for me right now.
10/25/2006 11:50:24 AM
             Dark Princess

Pale milk-white skin, alabaster smooth, so soft.

Short dark hair, dark as a raven, so silky as I run my fingers through it.

            Eyes as black as a moonless midnight with long ebony lashes.

Beautiful pouty lips colored blood red and rose petal soft s I press my mouth against them gingerly and brush my hand caressingly down her delicate cheek.

            Graceful swan neck sloping down to sensuous shoulders, I trace my hands down lightly, leaning in as I close my eyes and gently kiss the hollow of her throat.

            Trailing kisses lower to the valley between her ample, gorgeous breasts.

            Again pale skin, her body glows like Goddess moon in the sky, I caress my hand against one warm pillow-soft breast, her nipple is tinted a dusky rose and already hardening.

            Laying her on the bed, I slowly draw my gaze down the length of her ravishingly ethereal body, my Dark Princess. Drinking in the enchanting sight before me for several moments, a soft delightful sigh escapes my lips. My senses momentarily leave me as I stare starry-eyed at this striking creature. The porcelain doll face, stunning swell of her voluminous breasts, the taut flat tummy, the elegant curve of her hips and her supple muscular legs. I am awestruck by this angel of the night; my gothic Mistress.

            Lying next to her, I drape my arms around her waist and pull her close, breathing in the intoxicating scent that is her; my head swims.

            Her body grows lighter, becomes gossamery. She turns to face me as we cling to each other. We kiss; tears well up in my eyes and spill down my face as she fades from my arms.

            Gone, she is gone from me. My heaven sent darling taken from me, her scent lingers upon me. I curl up and cry to mourn the world’s loss of this fantastic beauty.

10/25/2006 11:49:50 AM
I was going through some old poems that I've written over the years, realizing how long I've been a poet at heart. I was thinking of a friend whom I lost a few years ago, she was the first female I felt a real connection to beyond just being friends. I loved her as a friend, as family and much more. I felt a protectiveness for her that I can't quite describe. She was the first woman I was really attracted to sexually and she was one of only two people I had ever had in my life to that point that ever showed a deep protectiveness for me and stood up for me. If only I had more time with her.
  I thought I'd share a poem I wrote with her in mind.
9/14/2006 10:31:29 AM
I have decided to wait on the job search for now. I am going to save a bit of money up and some time off up so I can focus on getting a new job.
The search goes on for a Dom. I'm starting to feel a bit disheartened. So far a lot of the responses I've gotten the situation doesn't feel right or they live far away and want me to move there or they message me a few times saying they'd like to get to know me better and I don't hear from them again.
8/21/2006 11:40:39 PM
Okay, so I need to work on writing in this more often. I'm still trying to find a new job, not going well but I at least have my current one still. Family drama has been going on so I've been busy with that and a bit stressed out.
I did not get the temporary roommate I thought I was going to, which is fine by me. He's my friend and has been there for me, but our personalities would clash in a living situation.
I've had contact from a few interested people on here, but nothing solid and it's a bit disheartening and frustrating. But I'm just going to keep going along.
7/24/2006 4:11:19 PM
Okay, here goes my first entry. Things have been really busy at my place as of late. I've been trying to find a new job, so putting in applications and trying to set up interviews has left my free time a bit skimpy to say the least.
I'm also reorganizing things in my apartment and have had friends staying over off and on the past few weeks. For those of you who I have not responded to your messages yet, I will, please be patient, I just am not able to be on the computer much right now so that I may respond intelligently and not just a quick few word reply.
It also looks like sometime soon I may be having a temporary roommate....*sigh* We'll see how well we remain friends after all this.
que4misstoilt
 
 Age: 41
 Leiden, Netherlands