Collarspace.com

Horizontal Line
Vertical Line
Horizontal Line

Horizontal Line

lilserenity

lilserenity - photo 1
lilserenity - photo 2
lilserenity - photo 3
lilserenity - photo 4
lilserenity - photo 5
lilserenity - photo 6
lilserenity - photo 7
lilserenity - photo 8
lilserenity - photo 11
lilserenity - photo 12

Horizontal Line

Friends:
MoonlightDevilValdilakedward78233mstrjethroMountainDad
Roadmaster07MasterGary66lovemaster64thevinLQQKingForASlave

Horizontal Line

Vertical Line

I am looking for my Own Christian Grey.Some of you may know this person some may not..I have seen part I and II and love Part II but part III is the best..Anyway I just located this site I thought collarme was gone for good until I seen in searching bdsm sites it was name changed..so I came to see its back under a new name..I am still me looking and hoping for my Mr.Grey anyone else will not do..I love his style and ways ..I dont care if its in a movie its what I want and hope to have before i die..If I can have it for a week or month it will be all I ever wished for..Life is as sweet as you want it to be..If you are married then stay married because you have a foundation only two people can have for each other.The rest will come naturally. My life is always needing,and wanting and giving but having all of these is completely different only One can understand. Oh and My Mr.Grey does NOT have to be a billionaire or millionaire or even close..Just have his mindset...

Horizontal Line

7/29/2017 4:27:48 PM
well theres alot to say but who is going to care.I have spoke my mind so many times and yet nothing changed..I read so many emails wanting to see me or meet me and then what? go back to your wife or g/f or b/f??? Not going there if you are serious then a email will tell me..Watch 50 shades of Grey and part 2 50 shades darker part 2 is what I have been searching my whole life for .To belong,to be wanted,needed,loved..People think this lifestyle is always in real time or life its NOT .It will never be livable 24/7, do-able yes in private..I love the blindfold,but before to wear one to trust him to know he would never go extreme to hurt me that is a tough trust..I am so inspired from that movie I wish I could of wrote it sooner..But it is ALL I will ever seek..all I ask is if you have excess baggage keep it, you never meant to leave it in first place if its still in the picture.I want someone clean,no baggage,intelligent,and knows what he wants too..Together we will be One in mind,soul,heart..always.

7/30/2016 11:07:07 AM
does it matter who i am or what i am? i ask because D/s,or bdsm is roleplaying.. people think they can live it daily they cannot not 24/7..sure you can believe what your property says but all you have is words..I was taught in the beginning as a child to do as told if not pay and so i did.i could not lie if i tried i would pay ..not many here are real i am since a small girl now as i and reaching the older side i find my One may have never been here or anywhere just lessons and rules were my way of life in which i was alone then and may be always,alone but i have learned much the hard way a way no woman could of survived.  I have met several so called Doms but i never looked at them as such because they had no heart of a Dom,just a heart of a person wanting sex..I never gave any sex to anyone here or anywhere online I find it so out of place..I will not be anyone's slut or whore because my respect is higher of myself..The respect was not in any meeting nor was concern or negotiations..I dont play unless I have my One with me and I know He shall stay..He would have my heart and soul and above all my love and respect..But like i stated it may never be ....or exist ........we shall see.......serenity

5/21/2015 6:02:07 PM
Ok IM back for now ..I am hoping the gamers have retired and went to vegas or California to search for their gold.I am fine and hope all my friends will understand me better now..I have given up seeking anyone because no one wants to be real and role play without bruising,cutting,or abusing their partner..I got into a car accident ddue to a Dom who was drunk  and while he got bruised up,I went under knife in 2002 and made me not able to kneel anymore,or if I fall I cannot rise up by myself.My knees wont let me any longer Oh and the Dom never came to see me in hospital or see me again and as much as I loved to role play,demo and so much just will take a little more time to do with a little more patience given.Some things I can still do but hey its no good without it all working right.I just wished I could of met that one special man,friend,lover to share all my love with because I still have so much to offer that I am afraid I will never be able to love anyone again..or no one will allow me to be in their life ,life goes on and I guess I will too ..so take care my dear friends and be safe at all times always....hugs   Mary aka serenity

5/5/2014 2:37:06 PM

Just because you are here doesnt make you a Dom or whatever you wish to be.It goes alot deeper..I dont believe half anyway ..The li you wish to lead with a partner whatever title you give them..Be real damn I stresss it so often but yet I have never played with anyone here but one person name withheld he lives in Tennessee anyway ..and that was years ago. I will not be bossed or whipped on any 1st date or meeting.It is NOT a time to play it is a time to talk and find out eacjh others desires or likes and dislikes so many i have meet knew nothing what a whip was even tho they were a "DOM" not even..So I will ask be a friend first give titles when you know each other use titles as roleplay..So if you want to meet me dont say i'll beat you if you dont do what i say i wont meet you if you even think that..I am a woman above all not a rug to beat..So play nicely with respect AND all things will turn out perfect.. :)


9/7/2012 6:14:03 PM

im looking to see how many met anyone this weekend..I sat at home bored to death no place to go or anything to do,alone..Sure i could of went to beach,or to a movie,or to dine out or even have fun at Old Town,but i didnt.Even going to a bar sounded boring to me..Why cant people just be friends even if they in the lifestyle. Most here are vanilla anyway why not meet up0 and have fun go to universal or Disney Villages something besides sit at home and do nothing but waste a weekend of your llife..Sometimes things happen unexpectedly some good and some bad timing but why waste your life in a chatroom or in a porn site or in front of a tv all day and night..I am 56 years old and I am not about to die of boredom..I have spoke to several here I qualified to their requirements but yet the balls weren't there...Why are you here to talk to someone ,noone to talk to so why not come here and BS others not like we havent heard it all before but why bother unless the other half is away and mice want to play until the cat finds out..I wonder how many players ever thought about hooking up with another player  being married and been put in a corner afraid being found out about your playtime affair? Not many have  I have heard of a few but it was deserved cant always play in the same sandbox without being hurt or get in trouble..Dont worry I dont play those stupid games never have or would..Thats why I have noone because I am real and serious..I take life serious. I am vanilla and in the lifestyle well when I find someone that isnt full of BS I am in the lifestyle..I have been many things in my life but never a Domme nor ever will be..I dont see things as they do...My lifestyle was being demoed,once and only once for me.I had questions and went where I could find answers to a sadist where I was shown that side and find my past life was not in sadoism but in maschoism by a Domme who was suppose to be my example in which

I detested..Long story short I left the lifestyle at age 19 and lived vanilla life until I* was 30 since then I been vanilla waiting for that certain one to come into my life and stay but that may never happen not waiting around here and hoping so why not go out and enjoy life as friends planning,hoping,doing...sharing, if its possible cool if not cool I will survive and go on...be well  sere


8/26/2012 5:16:16 PM

I just had to add something that just came to mind... I sat here read all the profiles and not one convinced me enough they are involved in the lifestyle..Profiles arent proof,words arent proof,chats arent proof anyone can say anything for someone to believe they are real..I just found these profiles to be a mental wishing they could be what they are or say they are..  I found noone using safe words,or negotiations anything differ than I am Dominant and I can whip the hell out of you day and night ,or looking for someone to be a slave that will follow my command..What the hell is this ...Safety is more i8mp0ortant than any meeting or sessions..not one profile will assure anyone will be safe and be only consensual..I find this sad .What the hell has happened to this lifestyle it has become a mental game and physical reward for who not the slave or sub but men to bully a woman/man around and prove he still a man.. You can be pissed at me but I find this bing a pleasure kick.. And I really feel worse for those who fall for words and profiles .. Sit back and read them ALL OF THEM. Theres no safety mentioned and thats number 1 in D/s,meeting in public place number 2,if it works out then negotiations number 3,contracts if wanted number 4.(I use them so theres no misunderstanding in the relationship)above all use communication day and night if need be..If you want to catch a liar or cheat let me know because i know how to do that very well. If theres a good Dom then he will be there waiting.Your heart will feel if he's real.His words will be like steel but yet soft and touching..I adore this lifestyle it makes our lives more involved with someone you love and adore..Dont screw someone up and walk away it makes a impact on those who do really care alot for you .You write a profile from heart.Your not a sissy if you put feelings ,real genuine feelings in your profile with a photo..And please use safety at all times...You can be a biker,you can be a teacher,or doctor these also make good roleplay also  but it dont matter who or what you are just be human enough to use safety always ..Too many getting hurt from carelessness,scarring,branding,welts leaving scabs,no playing on first meeting ok no playing or scening ...THis is a time to see if you both would be compatible,listen and think about it then sleep on it then make adecision if you're in or out.Dont wait ..Be ready to be disappointed or welcome into someones life.Its a blessing when it does happen..so I hope someone will read and understand more what is expected and hoped for in the lifestyle and enjoy it ,together..   be well serenity


8/25/2012 8:47:21 PM

hi ;

I have received emails wanting to meet but no photos,so no meet..I shouldnt let something so small maybe ruin a lifetime of happiness sounds nice but I have met some without a photo and lets say I could of ordered out and met the delivery boy at least..I am kidding Im not that heartless but people talk about my over weight without meeting me so why not kid about a no photo at least you have my photos so please share.I hade another boring weekend I had money to at least pay for half a date and noone even bothered to call me or email me or anything..Even if we never get any further than a hug thats cool at least a friend is always welcome.With all the good looking single men here wanting someone in their life and dont know where to look HELLO!! lolol yes I can be humorous also.. anyway not much to add qand still no job so Im just enjoying myself  and life as much as I can. So take care and hopefully I can finally find what I been searching for 0one day.. hug sere  


8/16/2012 5:16:32 PM

I will not be going to Kentucky.. AS much as I would love too I cant..I have noone in Kentucky.I have blood sisters and brothers there but I dont know them nor do I wish to..Its not hate its the way we were raised up separated and forgot about..So I am going to try to start a new life somewhere else in Florida I even thought about Louisiana or Texas maybe Arizona I am not sure yet..I just know whatever happens will do so with or without help. I need a weekend shark fishing trip try my luck and see what happens..or a try a weekend drinking binge  I said try.. I really dont tho so I may find something else to try.. I need to step out there and just go I need a exhaust pipe on my car its broken in two parts sounds like its coughing going down the road so I will take 200 and go get it fixed  then I may just drive it as far as i can just to see how far she can go..I am just done with life..I have done all I can its time to stop trying and just do it and I am planning on it.

So much in life I always wanted to do and picture me doing them everyday but I guess I will have to keep dreaming ..Someone from here wanted to meet me for over a year and just now decided he was  after a year of wishing and wondering but I may just tell him No .I dont need a Dom to be what I am I will always have a slaves heart I will die with it .It is something NOONE will take from me..I earned this name and almost died twice from it I dont know whatthe 3rd charm will bring me but I dont know if I want to know.But I do know I want to be happy with no BS on my ass day after day ,or someone saying I dont need this or that or I cant drive  there or drink this or buy that Its My Life like Bon Jovie sings..But I do know one thing I would of been the best slave/sub anyone would of wanted ..why I say that is because I know...I am not stupid and I am not a silly little brat whining for this or that..I never have asked for anything unless it was a definite need..Just because Im old doesnt make me weak,or senile or dumbfounded . MY IQ is 117 and I have a heart of a 30 year old and will act as such...I know how to have fun and will do so with  or without  anyone in my life. If there is a Dom out there that can accept me as me then he will be the One I will choose. But until then I am not a slut or whore or crybaby I am bold,strong-willed and a Aries..


8/5/2012 11:59:22 AM

I am going to be going to St.Pete on a train and maybe grab a car when I get there and enjoy my time there.. My unemployment for 6 weeks came thru so I am making plans to go..All my bills will be paid and plus I have more coming Thursday . I will be enjoying life but during daytime searching for a job..I may stay in a hotel for a week or two until I find that perfect place but at least I will be where I always wanted to be.. My sister called me up asking for money I owe her 170.00 so I'll pay her back.Then I will be getting my car fixed and new top on her I love my baby and been with me for 11 years and still fast as hell lol..So if I can get her fixed before i go then I may take her instead.. Now I wish I knew someone here to visit or meet but noone even cared enough to at least offer to help me .At least a offer even if you couldnt would of been appreciated .But I handled it and I am ok without a job for a few months but I am still looking.. So I wanted to let MY friends know what I was up too and know IM ok and once again I can make it and survive.. So for those who dont think things will happen they will at the last second..For me it was my last 24 hours.. Just be persistant and patient,but it doesnt hurt to have a backup plan just security reasons.take care  I am gone ,finally.. Mary


8/1/2012 4:42:30 PM

well its time to make my move I am looking to move to either Ft/.Lauderdale or St. Pete Maderia Beach.. I thought about KY but damn the snow bugs me and plus the ticks are bad right now up there lol.I will be able to pay my bills on the 22nd but the bytch is paypal wont let me have my funds until the 22nd and they are due the 4th and 11th. I have the money but paypal is holding it until the 22nd..They always hold onto funds when its alot . Now I have to find someone to loan me the money until the 22nd if I have to move in with them so they know I wont run.. I never lied about anything why start..  My son is going on vacation gthe 13th and leaving

 for 4 days and he wont even help me out never has anyway I just hoped for a miracle..But this is last time Im paying them here . Im going to st.pete or lauderdale for a week to check out jobs I seen they are looking for what I do and pay more so I may stay there and work get a place and save up for a truck to haul my stuff down wherever I choose.and thats I am hoping while my son is gone on vacation..So things are looking up and its about time too ..I will always survive but sometimes I need motivation to keep my mind on straight and narrow.Now I have to go find someone and see if I can get help  for a little bit but I will have more than enough to pay back (what I borrow) on the 22nd.. Be good to each other and safe  sere

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


7/29/2012 9:03:35 PM

well Im still in Florida Until who knows now I have to make more money.I just made 100.00 by cleaning a home,now I need 200 more for my cable I THINK i CAN DO IT and will..I wont quit  not now anyway..I went back to my old company and put in a new app to see what my boss (ex) would say well she wasnt there that day truck troubles so she stayed home.But she got my app anyway I hope.. I found several surveys online some money plus still selling a few more things like my car yes my car ..Its all I have left so if i get really bad off i will take it to a pawn shop and sell it ..I put in more apps in new places I may even leave Orlando and go into another city which way I dont know..Its just bad  everyone is getting hit hard,..I had a call other night from a old man 59 years old telling me he lost his job after 25 years the company closed down and he said he had nothing to eat  for 2 days and he had a cat refuge he runs when people dont want to take care of their cats they let off  and they find him and he said his cats didnt have anything to eat either  and he was in bad shape healthwise  very bad. So I asked a few people for help and one lady came thru for me.. She gave him 2 -16 pound bags of cats food and the old man a hugh bag of food..Since he doesnt have anything to cook on  they were cans  like meatballs and spaghetti, tuna fish things he can eat .I have known this man for 4 years he has lost over 50 pounds and he could not afford to do that much .his skin hangs on him sad..But I did help him get squared away until something can be done for him on a regular basis..SO ITS HAPPENING EVERYWHERE. I have bill problems ,people have food problems,some even have health problems ..its all bad.. You may think hey its ok where I am but make sure you have that extra security time will come when we all will need more ..and I am afraid there wont be any help anywhere.. I cant even get my unemployment after 6 weeks of waiting that was my bills paid but no not doing anything to help me at all. I call they BS me every call.I am not crying or whinning I am stating a fact its happening to everyone ....So be ready.


7/20/2012 9:34:05 PM

well time has came when I am finally going to leave Florida.. I never got my unemployment checks after a month waiting they are still in review sad people have to lose their homes because the state cant pay people what is due to them..So Im leaving I cant pay anything not my electric which is coming up and tomorrow saturday I will lose my phone ,internet and TV.another 200 late fees included. I tried to extend everything as far as I could hoping my checks would come thru but nothing  and so now too late .. Once I lose electric will be evicted so why wait Im not and what really urks me is I live with my 32 year old son who wont even help out he pays the rent 779 a month but makes 15.00 a hour .Why because he and his g/f is going on vacation and need their money to do so and she makes 18.00 a hour also.So its time for him to grow up  and i mean fast when mom is gone then he will have noone but her and shes old enough to be his mom too plus she is married oh well his fault.So I hope they have a good time he told me her dad wants him to move in with them and yes she lives with her dad . Darn if I could get into facebook I'd do like that killer did put up something to get money sent to him to pay for his defense I thought about doing something like that but I never let anyone step in and take over anything for me.at least when I get up there i have my own place and 1 acre of land with it for 200 a month I'd be renting .Cumberland lakes down the street to fish in ,make a garden I'd have my own food grown..so it sounds nice but yet its new for me the area and people at least I dont have to worry about anything except snow if there is any..So after tomorrow my cable is turned off because my bill is 200 with late fees,and then electric another 200 the 26th with my cable no internet,phone,or tv.so it will be a while before I get back to you all hugs and love to those who cared enough to email me and write me and for all I have met and for being your friend..One day I will be happy just not in Florida sorry  be well and happy Mary


7/8/2012 10:13:42 PM

well it seems im still in Florida noone up where my sister lives (Lancaster KY) is able to come and get me  even if my sister pays for the gas. One neighbor has bad tires,other neighbors truck is tore up,and my sister never drove a car in her life .My sister trying to do it but my half sister only wants the money and come down to Tampa for the casino and stay a day and wants my sister to pay her to play lol. Geezz so im stuck here until my son throws me out i guess.. He done it before at 3 am and at that time I lived in the ghetto world  where druggies are shooting everyone for money or drugs ,cops chsing everyone aqround now since we got a new management its has tamed down to 99% so nice ..But still after Friday I Have no internet or phone and this tuesday no electric so everything goes then Tuesday.. All because the state wants to review my unemployment check for next two weeks and these bills are from last month.. I even tried to share aride to NYC but for what I have  I would need a pickup or larger car. I have 3 hugh garbage bags of clothes and shoes and duffle bag full of shorts and tops and makeup and jewelry,and two more of misc like dvds,perfumes,. I may have to rent a car and go up there but its not easy to come up with the deposit and daily fees..and gas..my sister said she'd send me the gas money but she would get more money the 23rd  I told her I cant wait that long..but she is trying as hard as i am.But when I do make it up there im going to go fishing down the street or take a long nap because i deserve it .my eyes are swollen I feel so tired but dont sleep from worrying.. Someone told me tonight i needed to get away and start a new life and i am going to do just that..I dont think I will be back unless its a dying emergency i dont think, and it better be..,so you have it when something hapopens more onthe happier side I will be glad to write it.. I just hope it happens fast lol.. later good night Mary


7/7/2012 8:53:44 PM

Ok life may be taking a turn. I was leaving Sunday morning to Kentucky,but it seems my sisters cant even go down the road together they had a argument so now my other sister is looking for someone else to come pick me up..I really didnt want to leave but my son evicted me . He told me no job no money no me..so Im going and never coming back and wont be coming back unless its a vacation.. ITs sad when people say dont worry you'll always have a place with them then when a bill comes up and you lose your job you get tossed ..or a divorce lol..That was before my son started dating a married woman who's husband lives a block away.. Its ok what goes around comes around. And I hope THEY BOTH get rewarded..So Im still here and waiting but after Friday and neither bill is paid I dont know what will happened .oh and he has no idea I was packed up and leaving lol.. LOve it when people can be so two faced and lie to you also.. I could give examples but they would know who im talking about then I'd have to block them lol..I am going up north to plant a garden,go fishing and finally find some kind of peacefulness. I might get my UE check yet I will have it in two weeks they say I also heard they have to pay be back pay also well I hope so I am wanting to start my own catering business up there I love to cook and my sister makes the best jamcake I ever ate.. plus I can put a vegeatble stand up out front I have my own place 3 bedroom trailer hugh and i rent it for 200 a month..I may rent out a room to pay rent plus I have a acre of land..amazing how things get set up  and taken care of..I have my dog there even tho im leaving my cats  here not reeally my cats but I cared for them for 11 years.I have a feeling something is going to happen I just have to see what and when.. But she told me I am going to be coming back..I havent been back to live since i was 11 years old IM sure somethings have  changed but not too much.. So you have it . you know what I know when and how  will be the next questions I have to wait till morning to know the answer. when I get where Im going I will let everyone know...take care  sere 


7/5/2012 8:40:49 PM

ok question of the night : For Doms /Dommes:

If you were talking to someone and was thinking about taking that person to be your potential other half and you go to work all day long and stay logged in to this place what would you say is going on.You stopped communicating with this potential down to a few minutes now what is going on?

 

I would love to know the opinions of those who are Doms/Dommes.. I know most of you all this is something that really bothers me..I know theres work to be done but why stay logged in here the whole time you're working..and its not because of the other half either  she is rarely here to talk to anyone.

 

Why do players have to be players and wannabes be wannabes? AS long as I have been here I seen all kind of crap.. I use to go to chatrooms and watch was going on alot of kids palying games  and teasing the men shame I think especially when I can tell they are kids. I guess hormones are hormones or testertones lol.. shame . Well I am still looking for a job and if none become available by Monday Im packing up and leaving 800 miles up north already made plans if i cant find anything.. Sad but I was told by my own son  cant pay the bills  to move out so I will.Sad when your own kids cant help you out even when the bills are in their name.but I use them I help pay for them,my agreement and I will pay for them when i leave . My unemployment wont come in for another 2 weeks so thats a month since they even paid me anything .I asked some of my closest friends for 170 to pay my electric bills I suppose to get 100 but still that is the tie holding me in a place with a roof..Its really a shame people cant help people out just because it what they are suppose to do not because you have to do it. I was raised to barter trade whatever for whatever if someone needed a hammer  and i had one I would say I would trade you my hammer for a saw ,trade made.money wasnt used in my lifetime we bartered we use to make the best wine,moonshine,jellies,canned goods people would trade anything they have to eat  even clothes I do that today I give my clothes away  I just gave away 3 bags not counting the 4 before that to a friend in a wheelchair she made me some sausage  it was great but still she received over 500 pieces of new and some used clothing from me I still have a full walk in . I use to have clothes made of vinyl gave them all away dresses panties name it I had it . I gained this weight cant wear nomore or I want something different like lace and silk or satin, I love sheer things I love to show off a few times.. so now I may go thru my closet again and get rid of things that arent sexy,or sheer  all my nightgowns are see thru I have to have see thru  but I dont wear them useless to do by myself huh? so thank you for my hair I met a few people lately and they kept staring at my hair  and thank the Domme for the compliment also..I will be cutting it  so I dont keep sitting on it bothers me sometimes when that happens. Theres where all my money is in getting it cut off i been offered alot for it I may have too. At least it will cover 3 months of bills lol ..so I cant wait to hear the opinions  and hope I get alot of them about the top topic  at top of journal .. So be well and hugs to all  serenity  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


7/3/2012 11:11:45 AM

I see many are reading my profile and not acting on it . Why is that me? or married? or taken? or just down right scared to death lolol? I promise not to hurt anyone honestly.. I am just a woman who has needs like everyone else here. If you are married why come here and cheat? You can turn any relationship into a dream come true for you.Even if your spouse says no way in hell.. Anything is possible just take convincing the suck up way. Yes I said suck up.. Be calm and gentle.. Take your spouse out for dinner make it romantic  or make one at home if you need help with an idea  ( email me I can help with ideas on what to cook). After dinner talk about the lifestyle or fantasies you have and ask if they ever had any,slowly bring the lifestyle into conversation be patient when you tell them..You can show them or both go together go rent a movie BDSM type at Blockbuster they have a private room to rent them out of ,take it home if you have a TV in bedroom then watch it there get a drink and dress like you normally do for bed sit in bed close and watch it together during the movie if certain things come up you want to try suggest it and ask them to do the same make suggestions together. Theres no need to cheat on your spouse to be happy..You wont be making anyone else happy because you cant commit to the lifestyle to them. So if flowers,dinner,jewelry does the trick then you've succeed your own happy home and was faithful to do so..You may be surprised just how wild your sex life may get..Maybe they been holding back too ever thought about it? So thats why married men have no place with me,sorry but if you cant make someone happy at home how are you going to make someone else happy out of the home.. 2 wrongs dont make a right ..so stop reading and start acting like you really want to explore ,discover and be happy because I am not unless you are .But I wont be involved in ruining anyones marriage both of mine were ruined because of lack of communication so dont ignore your spouse  remember  you married them because you love them . I was for 30 years and I had to walk away because no communication,abuse,and cheating..I was like a zombie walking down the road with nothing no clothes,no nothing but I never went back or even thought about it ever again ..I  never saw him again ever and wont ..So good luck and use communication as a accelerator for your relationship without it its dead  and worthless.It wont go anywhere without it but out the door and that my friend can be very costly for everyone.. good luck sere


6/30/2012 8:18:42 AM

People want to know about me when I tell them oh well no more word.Well at least I didnt lie about it or me and what I like.. It looks like I may have to leave Florida .No job,no money and no man in my life. MY own son wont help me and cares less. So I am on my own to do whatever I want and any time i want so I will. I will get my unemployment and everything else and just leave.. I really have nothing here to keep me so I might as well. I was suppose to even meet a vanilla man this morning he promised this and that and called me to say his job called him in ..So even vanilla men are careless because zI know he didnt go to work and stayed at home today so I took it another one bites the dust and he even lived 3 miles from me cant get any closer unless you're a neighbor..I even had men meet me drunk because they were so nervous to meet me..So sent them home..what is up with guys who are scared to meet a woman. I am just a woman,someone who wants to meet but yet I meet  the ones that I dont want to meet it seems. I have no interests in meeting people I dont know or plan to meet. So I guess I will refrain from trying to meet anyone anymore noone seems genuine and I guess everyone has what they need to make themselves happy seems selfish to others but not to me.. I can understand  more than most can..I been trying  since I been 40 years old to meet someone .I have met but none were even in the lifestyle from here or the other site. So those who sit on the beach enjoy rays alone  enjoy ,nobodys fault you're alone enjoying them,or those who want to stay home  aqnd do nothing but relax and watch TV enjoy could of been more fun included ..You snooze you lose.. Most do but Im not pointing out names all you have to do is read profiles they will definitely bore you to sleep.All the horney geeks out there looking for a piece of ass only get a hooker they're cheaper and  heck give them an extra 10 they may give you a BJ .. lol Shame intentions here are not to be in any lifestyle but to be in a world of false names and desires..Dream on ...Im not wasting my time.. shame .. good luck to those who do care you will need it..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


6/27/2012 5:46:46 PM

I decided not to go the route I was planning.. I had a job interview but didnt go because I was over qualified.pissed me off good paying job and went to talk to them  but my resume went crazy..Sometimes it pays to be stupid and dumb.I just wish I was. I knew too much about the job and had 5 years in it... So now how in the hell am i paying my car insurance this week.. I have NO idea ..89.00 until next month gives me a month to make that money back,I could sell my convertible which needs work and forget the insurance but damn still have to get a way to work and back,I like coming here to think it helps me alot to put everything out and sit back think about it..I wonder why people here arent doing anything but gossip or read or im to chat..Not real to me if you think about it more.The one in Largo well I was told not to go see that one ,and the one up north is insane no marbles,and the one married well he is at least a friend to me and helps me when he can..a no not what you think at all. Friends are friends if they dont hurt you.or stab you in the back..I will keep looking for a job and hope something crosses my path if not I really been thinking about leaving Florida for good..Its about time to just close shop and start to enjoy the rest of my life you ask how without money easy very easy where I am going they barter work for cars or trucks,buy vegetables freshly grown for something needed  like flour or a pie.. Its simple and easy to live lkike that I use to do it for 11 years when I was a slave and where I am going is where there are real child slaves and teens. I came from there so I know.Amazing how lifes always takes you back to the beginning  or close to it.Its like I have made the full circle of life and to complete it ,I will stop or go to the beginning.. I have one more stop to go and thats in Arkansas theres something there I need to get or pick up its been a goal in my life since I first heard about it. So I may go there on my own or grab my sister and take her with me she will have some fun too.. So I have a month to figure out what is next to do ..I can't get a Master in my life no biggy I didnt expect any here to even be close to it so nothing lost nothing gained. I know I shouldnt think that way but what else can I say  or do ? I been patient  in my search for 15 years waiting and wondering the One Master I loved died before we met on New Years .I met several but none promising or what I found interesting enough..So I quit and stand aside because at my age who in the hell cares enough to be in my section of fun and excitement ..or shall I say level.. Too much BS going on or stupidity hey I got a picture of a girl being whipped that doesnt make you a Master or Dom especially dont use the label as Dom if you have pictures of welts on a sub/slave or inmy case blood running down my chest and arms and legs because it was fun to the Domme I was bought by. MY real mom loved sex and booze so she sold me to a Domme who was a masochist extreme..This is why women are a hardest of hard limits for me. So after all of that of 14 years of bleeding and crying and wishing I was dead ,I became anemic very under weight and stupid..at age 19 I ran away got married ..and from there I was vanilla but still living in a slaves world,not just cleaning things and making sure everything done but taking the bruises and cracked skull,or ribs and even losing a child I went on without another pain to occur until 2000. That is a long story too long but nothing to do with the lifestyle,except I was meeting a Dom, I was put into hospitalm for 2 months for having every bone in my body broken from neck to foot..But I am 98% cured  thanks to myself. You think you know me believe me you dont and when I am called a fraud or fake I see the visions of my past and wondered if they knew me back then would they still say the same thing..I cant replace the child I cant replace my childhood or teen years but I can cherish what I am now and what I have ahead of me ..The past is dead and to me its all better off dead. Too much happened but main thing is I survived and I will keep going waiting and hoping until my final breath. So little girls who think they are slaves think again you're much better off not being.. Pain is pain but when you're numb to it you can't be any less than a zombie..Pain does not give you a title ,it can kill or it can cure you .. I been to both sides I did die once literally from it all now I have a third chance to live again and I will to its fullest whether you believe me or not I dont care I know within what I am and have done..Its MY time now.. I am going to enjoy it with or without a Potential .MY CHoice  smiling 


6/22/2012 6:50:03 PM

I will be getting back asap . Right now I have some very exciting news but I dont want to curse it so when I know more I will let everyone know and its ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOOOODDDD!!!!!! Have a great weekend everyone  and I said EVERYONE       @---,--'---(((


6/17/2012 9:02:21 PM

Interesting I had a somewhat wannabe email me say I was a fraud and ran behind his block button so I couldnt respond good thinking, run...But Im not worried about Him anymore .. He proved his status to me.. I am seeking a man who is strong and doesnt run when upset  or when he cant get what he wants ..Communication is the key to every situation if you cant talk about it then leave each other alone and go your separate ways ..Thats what I normally use to say not anymore I say lets meet and talk ..I am so into meeting people and getting them to know me as I am. It's vital to know who you are searching for if that person does exist..Maybe they do or dont ,I didnt give up and wont ..Oh That wannabe was put into my book of wannabes I now have 78 altogether most have changed their names doesnt matter tho. Im not going to indulge the names until I met my goal. Im not going to meet any wannbe I will know beforehand if they are ...So get ready its going to be a wild ride.. and IM ready are YOU?Set a Date and Let the fun begin..


6/17/2012 8:58:21 AM

I sent emails and even wrote a journal entry and its all gone  wondering why.. Oh well here is goes again. People asked me what happened Friday night I will keep you from wondering then. I was amazed when I was right noone in Orlando want to meet anyone. So noone showed up..No calls nothing. I sat there from 8 until 12am I talked to several people ,had drinks bought and music blasted which wasnt all the great. So I left and went home.. So I wont meet anyone from Orlando even tho its closer to me the water is deeoper farther out it seems. Oh Im not all the concerned anymore I have to find a job or I have to move soon..I may go ahead and move anyway . Some people think Im turning tricks and I am a fraud Im sorry for people who have nothing better to do but hurt people especially when someone is serious.. Losing my job was the last straw and I have my own money I dont need money ..I loved my job  for 5 years it was my home and my friends were like family.. My Bosslady was very hurt from it but gave me great references and told me if it picked back up in revenue she was  going to rehire me back . Dont matter to me if I do or dont..I was offered to leave Florida by my sister  if nothing happens in a months time I may do it.. And as for being a fraud as being a slave well if my parents were alive they would show you instead of tell you.. plus I have a few here that have met me and one has demoed me to show me how he was a sadist. Very educational too ..better to be involvd than to read about it or see pictures about anything.. Try a private party sometime  now that is very educational.So many ways to learn than just see a picture of a milking machine hooked up to a naked woman.. So I did write just nothing was sent  anywhere ..enjoy the day it make get brighter at night .. :) sere


6/16/2012 9:52:16 AM

well Im sure you want to know what happened or showed up you may be amazed to know the answer to that one...but my lips are sealed....Only I will know.. even I was amazed ...But I know the answer  now...I have wrote many things here  and now I dont need to write anymore ..My thoughts wont change,my ideas wont change and my opinions wont change either..I know who I wish would of showed up but they didnt so I know  about them too. I got ditched because I was real and they werent..There is nothing to be scared about its all in fun and excitement. Im not going to hurt anyone just because I am a submissive doesnt make me a molester or monster. I am not out to hurt anyone I am not the One in charge..This lifestyle is about expanding all your desires you always wanted to try or experiment with but never had anyone to share the ideas with..There is no abuse intended nothing is done unless asked first noone intentionally beats anyone here . Everything is Safe  Sane and Consensual. Plus there are safe words to stop anything being done on a dime,and safe calls,someone can call you every hour or 30 minutes to make sure you are ok...So there is no reason for anyone to be afraid of me or ex[ploring a more sensual,romantic side as well as soft,maybe a tinge of pain but nothing drastic.. I want to learn Tantric this is a side more sensual,erotic a love where no two regular feel just making love. The eyes to eyes ,sounds matching each other to just be molded into One body is what I desire  to be able into mold into my Ones' body skin to skin......warmth to warmth ... so nice  so desirable.So real...So never be afraid to take  the direction you want to go but always communicate with all ideas with your One or lil one..THis is about fun and enjoyment  YOUR style.. good luck sere


6/15/2012 1:56:01 PM

Ok the economy suxs a royal dildo.. It only hurts me it seems I went back to my company and found out that the jerk who fired me is hiring a new shift to do the 4-12 pm shift. I guess I look too old for him but I cursed him and he will falll.. I asked all my bosses of other company they all said same thing the economy... so I am going out tonight I have 500 dollars in bills to pay the end of the month not going to have it but still my unemployment only paid me a part of what is due  they said its the difference i received so .I am going to Sharkeys for pool,drinks and music metal rock..tonight anyone in Orlando welcome to meet me because tonight I wont be doing anything alone ..Im tired of these jerks pushing people around and making them lose everything they got because they want it ..NO more plus anyone hiring let me know I will work part time or full time day or night ..Im just done and want a job that doesnt take away what they give you you earn.. So Sharkeys is located at 3925 Clarcona Ocoee Rd,, Orlando, FL 32810 . I will be the only one with the long hair past her butt.. Lets talk and enjoy the night .. I will be arriving there at 8pm band starts at 9pm and its good one too .see ya then serenity aka Mary


6/14/2012 5:29:51 PM

hello I thought I would share my bad news well it seems IM free to meet whenever now I was fired because I dont bring in revenue  what my boss told me the GM said punk kid..Well its ok I will see him tomorrow  and I will stress that my job is NOT to bring him in money it is to save the company money from theives he may hire. I just caught someone stealing over 6 figures of credit card numbers and I got them back and saved the company a hugh loss. But that wasnt the only person caught..My job was quality control I make sure agents get their money they earn paid to them and someone like another agent doesnt come in a sign off on it..This jerk had no idea what he did or what I was doing..so he fired me after 5 years right before my vacation..He is trying to run a plantation all blacks and no whites I know others have seen him do it .And the ones he helped make money never came back so that tells me he's the theif and hes the twin brother of the owner who I adore and get along with..I have a job lined up tomorrow I already been interviewed for and told I have it full time or part time.ande my boss said she would back me 200% to get it started  for me.So I have money coming in just not enough yet ..I have 500 in bills each month to pay out I been working ony 20 - 15 hours a day what the jerk would allow me .at 8 a hour that wont even get it but I can do with all I can find and I will find work and more of it . I have 350 so far I just need to fight for the rest..I will win.. I hope .. Foreigners can sometimes be a royal pain in my arse..so wish me luck I really need some  I will tell you what happens tomorrow be well hugs Mary


6/13/2012 2:56:02 PM

I came here today and read something I would definitely like to speak about.. A slave has the same rights as a sub but their jobs are the only thing that separates them. i have been a slave in RT my tasks were to clean,wash,daily tasks and no love,sex or anything sensual ever mentioned .In fact love was forbidden in the household I grew up in that home for 19 years. I never had a mother or father I was sold to a old couple to help them survive by my real mom when I was 3 months old I started very young 5 years old what work was about..That was when I found out what a whip was and gag and to be tied up.I did what was told or else I would be whipped until I could no longer feel it ..As a submissive as I choose to be now I will tend to only One and love,care,feed,bathe,cuddle,explore and do all to express my deepest desires even Tantra is my biggest desire to learn and together we will.We both have same ideas but different worlds,different ways to be dominated..When I was a slave I should say still am in blood,I tried hard to be happy or appreciated,or even cared about but still expressions and assuming was never allowed..I want my own place to live and I want to be happy and to be dominated but there are too many that try and do it all ass backwards or jump to a whip too fast.. A dominate takes a slave into his arms tell her she will be cared for and adored,and a Dominate takes a sub into his arms and carries her to his chambers and shows her just how much she is wanted and loved as much as she does for him.All newbie Doms/Dommes go to forum start reading asking questions what to do how to do it because if done wrong it could cripple someone or even worse.It has happened many times because of carelessness, so find out what you are first you may be a submale or subbie or even better than that a switch best of both worlds..I will always be a slave in my blood but in time I will graduate to a submissive on my own. Being a slave  in RT was a experience I will respect because it helped me to learn many things on my own. So study up newbies you cant come in here grab a woman and expect her to fall on her knees to give you a BJ.There are many other sites you can do that in. THis is about belonging to another in heart,mind,soul and body..The total package of life..I have someone in mind its just time I am waiting for  right now but then He may say No lolol ..or Yes :)


6/12/2012 3:57:22 PM

I changed my profile and will refrain from adding anything new here except I need a computer mine  burned up  grrrrrrrrrr...cant say too much since this is a loaner ..So read my profile I will be adding new pics later also if I am able to do so..I know where to go to get my best pics but that like everything cost money so I will find a good friend who loves taking some different pics  :)   if not IM trying ...so tata  later hugs


6/6/2012 8:00:18 PM

Ok maybe good news maybe for me if I turn in my resume it may be..I am hoping starting Monday I will get my 40 hours this week I got only 15 hours I didnt get the holiday pay even tho I was told  not to come in plus they shortened 4 hours off my time card and I will find out why..Thats ok I filed Unemployement weeks ago got approved I just cant figure out how to claim weeks on the website yet . I was suppose to have done it but this is my 1st time and I cant figure it out for nothing where to go..I cant call anyone because they dont have a number to use .So Im fishing in the lake without bait.I am going away this weekend I will have it figured out. Im going away to a friends house to get my computer fixed and just to relax I really need it.. I will be working part time for another company for rental cars at my job..I did try condos  didnt like it ,so now Im going to actually try it out to see if I can do it. If not then I may retire early ..I was told I could so I may 7 years early sounds good to me lol..Darn now to get someone to join me .....I missed the victory cruise casino last sunday so I may want to try  go and take 20 dollars with me and see what I can do for 6 hours may be fun.I won in Louisiana casino boat once  maybe  again. So wish me luck

 

oh yes I have a meeting coming up Tuesday yippeee I cant wait this is going to be fun I hope loll ...Dont have to go to a beach to have a imaginative mind.And patience is always there  yeah..Life goes on .


6/3/2012 8:05:19 PM

life is a bytch isnt it? I see players after players I read profiles  after profile take my notes and I have one interest and yet likes to yank my chains so to speak ..I have another interest who well is taken but yet likes to talk to me.Then I have one that got away broke my line as I was reeling him in and that was a 100 pound test line.Its ok tho I will always be fishing maybe not catch any but i just like the pull,the fight to bring the in best catch you had in days or maybe in my case years..Salt-water fishing has always been my love as much as gardening or even cooking.Kind of like the Olive tree story ,gardener taking care of her Master who is illustrated as a olive tree.. It is a wonderful story..So many things we can use but who wants to be used or second.. The best one that got away sent me a pic of a sub to show me I was replaced before we even got to meet..He was the best because he sounded real and sincere and made me think we would be ONE he offered me a place to live and job to go RT but as we see may was or may wasnt true.He told me to use my mind I did but he couldnt tell me how, he told me to use my mind or never talk to him again and yet he still didnt give me any clues and what he wanted me to use my mind for..So I look at it this way be damn if you do or damned if you dont..IM not use to mind games or being second.I cannot sleep with a man if he screwed someone the night before.Sorry thats me and sure the man feels the same. why get a std and pass it along..gross..plus if O.S is done it would really taste bad and even smell another woman on it  dont care how many times its washed it still has the scent.Try lava soap may be effective lolol may not be ..I wont take that chance and I will know before I sleep with any man any place.And I really really need it but wont.that is called mind control and I use it well when that full moon comes out.As I am closing this for the day I want to say this,If you find that One you want,talk to them,dont play games tell them as sincere as you can be your intentions to them.ask about limits hard  and soft. Set up a RT face to face meeting not on computer offline,meet in public place to be safe,if its going to happen it will on second meeting but first one is for talking and feeling comfortable..No matter what dont let them get away if you feel it in your heart its right..I did may not ever come along again..   Enjoy and be SSC always good night  serenity


6/3/2012 2:47:58 PM

I felt I needed to address a few things..It was told to me and I agreed that many here are being too picky on what you seek..No Im not jealous or bitching it was told to me ..Have you ever wondered why people you chose dont want to meet you? Maybe because any woman that looks like a porn star may be married or taken already or maybe the picture is her sisters or even mom..There is never a guarantee  that the picture you see is the person you'll meet if you do..I will meet in time but not at a drop of a dime.. I had someone say hey we'll meet but then they said never talk to them again .Another warning.You know why should I care why do I bother to even comment on the players,I do because once a player is always a player.They post pics on their website to try to prove a point  hey Im a Dom look at my pics "laughing". Even the word doesnt make you a Dom its the intelligence you use or demonstrate here or anywhere that makes you ,you ..A Dom is a teacher  Only!! if in time if allowed He may become a Master but that may be 6 months down the road..But still its not done over night..So if you see these collars flying thru the air they are self made velcros.. I myself need a contract for my slave number will need my Master to sign it even tho im not a slave by choice now I am a sub and my whereabouts matters to those keeping track.That will be the final signature.. for me and my life to begin my journey..I have had my number for many years  I had another one but the system went down and lost the one I had when I first began my studying.I studied over  ayear the lifestyle to learn it as a submissive,I met Misstress Steele  and talked to her about it  ,took notes and she helped me to recognize areas I had no idea about..So many people have helped me that have books,or even sites that are only in the lifestyle. I did not ever tallk to any chat or even went into IMS to chat with anyone .It was my rule .I wanted to know everything I am still learning but i AM a pure submissive one who is and knows more than most do here or anywhere..I have what most have no idea about I have growth mindset which makes me more interesting and more intriguing..But the relationship I do get involved in will last because I am not a failure I succeed if I dont then I keep on trying and trying and I would until I succeed in my lifestyle. I have the brains but yet sometimes I refuse to use them and wont. So decide what you are and work forward with that things will then fall into place easier ..   serenity


5/28/2012 1:03:01 PM

I decided not to lower myself for anyone unless it is mutual decision.and its in play..Sometimes we get caught up in an area of trying to defend ourselves for no reason. It was pointed out to me I had no reason..Should of met first then decide on if we both wanted to go ahead and live as we choose..I am vanilla 30% and I am a woman above all I want to be a best friend,partner,lover I want more no not marriage ,but to feel I belong  and I was needed and wanted I alway have,and I have met quite a few but none were what I wanted ..Before we meet I want to say what I am seeking first..It is as follows,:A person who knows about being safe and sane and consensual,someone who doesnt take others for granted  and will listen...He has to realize this is not only for Him but for Me also 2 pleasedasmuch as He will need it but its not all about sex. I love mind control I want someone to use my mind for things never done.. Lets create new ways,new toys,new ideas...Im not in it for money or sex IM in  to be happy and loved and wanted..You tell me I will drink out of a dog dish,Im not a dog but can be a bytch,its the literate ways said  and put .. I dont want to be selfish i am only selfless meaning I dont care about myself because in the world its not about me its about US..I mess up you supoose to listen and try to understand what I did not walk away and say fu i dont care what happens to you ..and never come back..When I am collared it wont be right away I will earn my way to the collar,I will make sure I am worthy enough if not I will not accept it..ITs not all about laying on my back and talking whatever comes my way its about growing together ,learning and showing each other new ways and main thing is use communication .I am only vanilla at home  and work and when I go out,what goes on behind the closed doors is much more than play for me Its a foundation of a new life that will last..I have walked away a few men here but only because they would not listen or care enough for that first meeting.To me its the most important event on earth..This will direct which direction We will live.Donot ask to play first I donot and willnot especially if I never met you or seen you or even talked to you.. Theres one way you will know a TRUE submissive ,easy way  but a definite way. I will tell you how you can tell if we ever speak ..Meanwhile this is me as a woman and sub/slave I have been both and served one of them in RT.So enjoy this holiday hope all goes well and happily.. serenity

 

 

 

 

 

 


5/23/2012 4:04:26 PM

Dom in a mind set but yet very much of the sub mind set. MstrJethro said it exactly thank you .. I am glad you enjoy my readings I will pour out more but I like your idea as well with the powder sugar nice touch I may use that idea as a top touch afterwards. IT is hard to love something twice because you're always afraid of the pain the second time..I want a tat but now I want a beautiful printed outline on my body. I dont like needles and are weary of them ..So I would like a permanent drawing done I seen tats they are cool but sometimes get infected and can cause bad harm..I would like a drawing of something serene,beauitful,I thought of a large dove with wings out,.. My spirit creature is a black wolf..love the creature but has many meanings.

lobo,alone,single,darkness,....leader,dominating,strong,. I am me soft but yet strong,intelligent but then undecisive on things..bold and a Aries the strongest among all zodiac signs.Right now as I burn some wax I wonder what it feels like I will see,I will feel ,I will have experienced it ..You want something but yet you're not sure neither am I ,You expect things from me but yet I dont know you ,You expect us to spend a day or two together but we  havent even met yet . I will ask where is common sense used what happens if I get 100 miles from home and find out You didnt want me  or I you ?I wont sleep with just anyone I will kiss,tease,grab perhaps,look into your eyes and see your soul.But if we dont clique then what.. I weigh 275 pounds Im not MIss America,and aIm not regularly fat I never been fat I just couldnt do anything for 2 years I had to stay in bed and rehab myself to walk again I had no choice but gain now as I try to lose it at my age very hard to do..I cant drink water like everyone else my body retains it I love water.I eat salads,diet foods  dont work in fact I gained 3 pounds on Atkins diet.So its to this point accept me as I am or don't .. But I will be back to myself as I once was..I will put the picture in my profile before  what I looked like...But its something that could not be helped ..MsterJethro I hope I didnt disappoint you in anyway Sir  I can only write what comes from my mind and heart. What you read Sir is my inner soul.. be well  serenity


5/23/2012 8:04:52 AM

Amazing Im told  never mind not important . I was told once I was a BOLD sub.I am because I say as I mean..I have many that respect that I do but I wont lie to you ever.MY mind is this it follows yours if you allow it but if you decide onsomething I already know about  then my mind closes up. IM a spiritualist I have a few Masters who can acclaim I can feel them across many miles.. I am over half Cherokee my mother and sister is full blooded..I heal the minds..I can say anything you want me too if its healing or learning..My mind is open to scenes,to playin roles like biker /chick,whore to slut to anything I want to do ..its all roleplaying and all I ask if please be safe.. I have had sadists  demo me  He is even in this site ..I have had online cyber roleplaying in Gor, nice but  cant live it in RT ..I am a domestic slave I clean,I cook, I care  for others..I left that position when I was 19 years old and became a submissive/Domme yes ..Thats where my Boldness came from..I dropped the Domme because I couldnt be responsible for anothers life..Its not me I can care and love them but I cant turn a man into a slut or my bytch or never would its not the way I see a Man..I see Him as strong,caring,needing ,hoping,and waiting but most of all being responsible ..not many are or will be..My last online Master for 3 years we never got to meet  but we were in love and a couple 100% he never cheated on me nor I him.One day we made the decsion together to finally meet in Texas in Houston and from there go to the Renassiance Faire in Dallas.I was all excited about it too I was to leave in two days  for New Years eve when I got a call from his mom who I grew to love also..She told me to sit down so I did and told me My Master had died last night I dropped the phone  and cried and cried I called her back and told her about our plans she knew I hung up the phone  and told myself I would never have a online relationship again. I wouldnt even talk to a Master for over a year  I stayed away from all men.Then one day it hit me he would want me to continue  on so I tried but never made anything RT..I ask why wait  why just meet and talk and if its right do it make it real..People cant because of jobs,family,money distance all these things are barriers but can be broken..save up ,maybe get a new job or maybe get a transfer.. anything can work if you allow them to happen .. Try it but dont hurt like I did and still do a little but I have the hope one day my Master will come get me and ride awy and never look back ever..


5/22/2012 3:33:01 PM

ok here is my latest poem in which I hope wins another trophy for me for 2012..I got the world trophy for 2004 and bronze medal lets see ..I hope all likes it I have several more to write too.So hopefully this one will be a winner.. ty for reading.. serenity

 This is called:

 I Must Be Patient.     by serenity 2/2012

I close my eyes and hear your voice.

I must be patient, I have no choice!

So many nights I sleep alone...

With my lingering eyes upon the phone.

You have become one with the wind,

And my beating heart on you depends!

MY soul feels barren and so unsure.

I long to kiss sweet lips that are yours.

I yearn to touch with fingertips,

The moist,sweet softness of those lips!

To feel your breath upon my skin...

The warm embrace...you pulling me in...

Inside your soul...inside your mind.

Your hands upon me, gentle and kind.

Our bodies meet,and flesh to flesh.

We form one spirit where our bodies mesh.

We dance as firelight within a flame...

We are one...we are the same.

With feelings swelling so deep within,

I feel the tingle beneath my skin!

But eyes do open and I realize,

You are not here...the night hears my cries!

You become part of my fate,

And for your return,I will be patient...


5/21/2012 5:42:49 AM

I got a promotion will start it June 1st and my 40 hours are back..I have had to do without alot this week and next payday..I made 25 hours last week and this week get paid for only 20..But it helps me to appreciate that I do have a great job in which I love doing and being my own boss at..The GM came up to me Friday and told me he had something special for me noone else can do and told me what it was  and I have done this type of calling but this time the money will be all mine ..So I just have to be patient and know it will be over soon .Sometimes we never appreciate things until they are gone. I know I have always saved  or put back but when it happens twice in a row  it just gets harder and makes you more worried if this bill was going to get paid or next one..I had someone who was going to give not loan give me 100.00  I didnt get it.as bad as I needed it I will wait..I got pulled over other day told me my car shouldnt be on the roads so loud due to my muffler falling off.But I have to work and I have to get to work..If I get a ticket then I will suffer and my insurance will go up I know but what can I do? I cant afford anything because of my hours for now and well noone cares that much to put one one and let me make payments to the company for it.So its hard for a submissive has to do things on her own,decisions,I am tired of making them.. I am about on my edge of limits of how much more  I can handle alone..But I keep June 1st in mind that keeps me going I know things will get better  and then once again I am a survivor and can say I did it ,alone..Cyber collars don't do anything for anyone you still have to be alone,and make your own decisions..Thats why I say be REAL..You want to collar me then meet me and see me first..But alot of communication is a plus tho not phone sex or cyber sex..If you only want to hear a voice for a quick get off or nothing else then they have call numbers for that 1-800 numbers that will bring you to your pleasure . I know I worked for one..So have a great day and better one tomorrow .If you care to speak to me leave a time I get off work at 5pm..I will meet you here ..At least you'll be making that first important step ,communication.I am not a mind reader and I dont know  when you'll be available  to talk just leave a time.. ty


5/19/2012 7:23:14 PM

I wanted to come back in here and help those who need someone closer to them.Even In their State... go to home tab on left here, go down that page to search type in city you are in  and state what what you seek and click search you can fill it all out to be sure you do find that special one,,,,you will save yourself alot of time and trouble ..I learned this many years ago.


5/19/2012 10:54:57 AM

I am going to ask why anyone wants to bother with me? I wonder why because  they want and want and forget I want too..This relationship or any is always 50/50  always.. When we make love will you do it all by yourself?When we go walking along the beach or a store will you hold your own hand?Or if you need your back washed will you ask for help or try to do it alone? I dont want to do anything alone excluding (bathroom things). I want to share everything,every minute,every second with Him,maybe I am wrong for being so insecure perhaps or maybe its just I want to be there..I wrote a poem I would like to share its not my best but something I wrote ...

 All I NEED

 In Your darkness I find my light

For it is darkness that feeds my soul.

 In Your chains I find my freedom

For bound by them,I am as I choose to be.

 In Your pleasure I find my own

For it is my own deep dark desire.

 In Your arms I find my refuge

For I know You shall keep me safe and warm.

 In Your eyes I find my world

For I see my spirit dancing in Yours.

 In My Future Master I find everything I shall ever need.

 

I ask where is my life going with who is it going. Im not here to be ridiculed,beaten up or used . I am here because I want to be here I want to be with a Dom who I want to be with ,not because he handed me a velcro collar online or just has noone else to talk too or be with..I dont want to be just a obstacle I want to be as I am a woman with more spirit,more heart that can be given or shared,I may be overweight but in time I will be back to my 200 pounds of niceness again..My mind will always be smarter than some because people rely on me daily for advice or opinions daily..I can also do something not many can do I can also feel in a distance IM a spiritualist and over half Cherokee I have always been gifted in knowing things with out asking.I know a few things in this lifestyle but I have never had a Dom or Master so I am unused by choice  but as  a slave I was used only by work nothing more.There was no love,touching allowed not even the man or wife touched or kissed or even slept together the woman was boss and mean beyond any I have ever met.So now you know I am me as I am.


5/18/2012 5:24:32 AM

I have had people ask me where I am what I am doing in last 24 hours.. I live in Orlando Florida and I am going to work in a few hours..I work for a travel company in which I have a freee cruise coming up the 27th on a casino boat the Victory Cruise Lines..I was going but no date so Im not going ..I would of been the only one without a friend or family member with them. so I have plans starting Friday Night until Monday morning..Nope its my surprise and my plans. I dont want people to find out anything where I'll be like before people showed up and surprised me not fair..I have a vacation coming up I thought about Bahamas or Costa Rico for 5 days 4 nights all inclusive for two..all food ,drinks and rooms free..or Las Vegas I have any place in the world I could go but I dont want to be selfish I want to share it..But not with just anyone,someone special.. I am planning on something this weekend. I want it to be perfect if it will be or not I wont know until I find out..So I will get back and let you all know..I appreciate the emails telling me about my hair but please I hear it at work everywhere I go time to convert off the hair onto the person what she wants and thats to be happy and excited and be all she can be ....She never has cheated on her spouses ever,she has not lied to anyone ever,maybe been  frisky and teased somewhat but never lied....I try to be the best in everything and can be if I want to be  but takes alot to get me there to be the best.. I mean timing is essential to me ..Anyway enough about me I wont tell you all my secrets about me so later all and thank you all for the compliments.. sere and never been dyed either (the Hair all natural)


5/17/2012 6:41:15 PM

i KNOW THERES A ARTICLE ON CYBERING ACROSS THE WAVES.iF NOT i WILL WRITE ONE..

Let me ask can you feel someone on the phone hardness? Can you taste their cum on the phone? Can you actually have intercourse on the phone? I will answer yes if you are selfish. Not being rude or cruel why waste something so precious and good on the keyboards,walls,floors,chairs or even on your clothes..Theres places for such satisfaction in person.. Meet someone share likes and dislikes talk get to know someone not 200 people just one..If their likes and dislikes dont merge with yours ythen you'll know from the beginning whether its will work or not.But dont play head games or hurt people or even worse play with several others why you're suppose to be with only one..If you cant be with one then tell her or him and move on but they have the right to know..Damn why are you miserable because  you made others miserable you played and they paid..My Goodness sharing that first time together in intimacy is  something you will never forget why because you worked towards it together..My life you wonder after all these years why didnt I take a Master because none were ready to lead or be strong and responsible..When a sub is in a Masters home He is responsible for her and her needs. He wanted her there and collared her..She may chose to work or he may want her at home when he arrives home from work ..If you find a problem with distance and want to go that 2000 miles to be with someone plan it together save up until that times comes meanwhile call each other,all you want. Either way you both want something it will happen just allow it..You have to allow things to happen if its meant to be..Love only comes in a sec your heart knows in that clique if its real or not  you will know..I no longer want makes no difference does it not to you or the next person all I know my heart will go on. and on...sere

when someone walks away from me then he has no interest or want and I will close the door quietly and disappear in the mist as I came and never return. Just remember who walked first.


5/16/2012 6:23:14 PM

Yes I am still looking to move asap. Where I have no idea and no I wont live with another woman.. Can't do that long story just understand its not worth it to me. Im not Bi-sexual and I won't change my mind.The company I work for for the last 7 years cut my check 20 hours now I work 20 a week. People say thank goodness you still have a job what difference is it if you can't pay your bills..and I will pay my bills unless I move out hopefully something will happen to me to change my life  maybe ..Lets say I wont expect it if it does .I thought about writing my poetry again maybe get another trophy..I have alot on my mind and maybe I should  write again..Usually when I meet people I write  poem about that person how aI feel they are to myself.Or I dream and write or just do it..Its very easy to put your heart on paper. For me it is..Im sure you are wondering about my weight problem I lost 4 pounds this week and may lose 4 next or more..It comes and goes..But one day I will be back to my old self  200 again..My hair people well its reach below my rear yes I still got it and its still dark brown. good genes from my dad. I been offered alot of money for it but no its me I wouldnt be the same person without it. I will be making new pics when my computer is fixed it stopped reconnecting so now I have to take it in IM using a old IBM and I mean OLD it does the job but I have no place to hook up my usb plug in from my webcam.so sorry people. But I promise soon I will have them done for you all..so take care bed calls me and stay warm and in love ..hugs  serenity


3/3/2012 3:37:52 PM

I now have to move due to making too much money lolol if that was only true. I been living with my son who works for a cadillac dealership for 10 years and lease is in his name ..well lease ran out they called him in the office and told him guess what you make way over what we need to live here .. WE been living here for 6 years and now we have to leave so he has his place to go too I may just leave Florida  and collect disability and live in Kentucky in a trailer 1 hour away from town..375 a month to live in a house or whatever..Only thing I hate is snow.been thru it as a child hated it then.Guess I will get use to it. But I have no place else to go.I been wanting to travel someplace guess this is it..I just hate to leave my job since there is none up there. So any ideas let me know.anything else well my exhaust fell off I paid a guy 50.00 to come up from ft .pierce to coat hang it up lol ..I dont know what else to do ..I found some places but still my car is falling apart..Im 55 years old and I dont do cars..windows maybe not cars use to in my teen days no more.. So thats is what is up..If I leave I will post it here before I go.But I put ads everywhere to get a roommate or cheap place  nothing back so Im going to work to make what I can in next two weeks  I am sure we'll have 30 days to move out. So stay tune to next episode to Gone with the wind....sere{#}


11/21/2011 7:53:53 PM

                                                        The Olive Tree

A confused sub came before a wise Master who adored her. She felt that to submit to him would mean she would open her heart to unbearable pain should he ever leave her. She hungered for him and needed him, but was ready to walk away in panic.

The gentle Master knelt her before him and
started a tale of love and devotion. As she looked up at him his arms began to widen and open like a large tree stretches its branches to the sky. At that moment the Master appeared rooted to the floor and his impressive size towered above her like a giant tree. Then he began to speak...

I'm here for you... now and always no matter how far time and space takes us... Whether you walk away from me today or you stay and serve me I will not turn from you. I am as patient as time itself; I will take not from you unless you give freely and completely of yourself, but I give unto you regardless-- for my love is unconditional...

Like the olive tree that can both feed you and shade you, I am there seemingly eternal to your short life on this earth. If you need my fruit to feed your hunger I will give you all the fruit you need. If your skin grows dry and loses its luster, the oil from my fruit will restore it and make it glisten. When you need comfort my leaves will gently caress your face with the slightest breeze. When you need discipline my branches will correct you when the wind blows strong. If you just need my shade to protect you from the sun, my branches will shade and protect you. If you need warmth at night my fallen branches will fuel the fire to keep you warm and safe. If you need a refreshing breeze my leaves will fan you and cool you. You are my gardener.

When you submit to me, you tend that which keeps me vibrant and full of life. When you kneel under me and till the soil, you give breath to my roots. When you water me, my sap flows strong through me raising my limping Branches. When you soil yourself collecting fertilizer with your bare hands, you strengthen and humble me with your devotion.

Although my life will go on, life would not be the same without you. Your dedication and unconditional care for me keeps me vibrant and nurtures my very core. The sustenance and protection I give you seems little reward for your servitude. Still the gardener serves the tree from her heart and the tree gives to her heart all that he can!

I am planted firmly on the ground and cannot follow you if you walk away from me.... But be assured I will survive. One hundred years later and two of your lifetimes; I will still be there, waiting for you in the same spot to offer you all that I do now.

Stay with me and be my gardener. You cannot get lost in me for we are complementary to each other. I am your devotion, and you give meaning to my existence. Apart we live life and survive; together we bloom eternally!

As the Master finished his last words the sub cried herself to sleep at his feet. That night, he stood planted there like the Olive tree offering her his unconditional love and protection as she slept. As she would tend to him with her devotion the next day... and everyday thereafter!

 

I promised the Olive Tree so I will put it in again maybe you will see what the lifestyle is about the true meaning for both..It should always be live life like its the end tomorrow and love as long as your heart can beat. You have only one life, live it undesiringly because all your desires have been met.

                                          serenity


11/11/2011 3:45:05 PM

Its going to get real cold here and being in Florida since 1967  30's is cold for me anything below 70 freezes me..So everyone bundle up and stay warm..This is snuggling weather for me and darn I knew I forgot something  a snuggler.. geezz and nooone wants to be that with me why I wonder is it my weight if it is ZI feel so sorry for you..My New Years resolution will be to lose all this weight 80 pounds of it and I will this time I have my way and hopefully it will be regular not whenever.So if you lose now you'll lose then ..Oh I am going to cut my hair also first of the year I sit on it now it grows fast and has very very little grey for my age ,great genes thank my father for being a pure Italian....Anyway I decided IM going to be on my own away from any family I decided to make a new life be me,be what I can be make the best out of my life.If I have someone in it then all is good if not then I may never have anyone..I will be retiring soon 10 years ok not too soon but I wiuld like to travel below me only because of the snow..Go to Key West for a day or two,go to domingo republic,maybe not sure..Or I may find something to do close to home wherever that wil be.. So we'll see what happens..Maybe the stars will bring me a new man in my life  may I be so  so so so lucky.. sere 


11/9/2011 5:03:19 PM

I deleted what I posted before but hel I am going to put it back anyway..I got a repsonse that someone wanted me or was interested and disappeared. I waited two days and no i mean NO emails or anything else showing his interests. So screw him.. I can and did say that.. Why do wannabes act like children and show no consideration for those who are serious and are real..They email you one time and say IM interested and then they are a NO_SHOW.. F>O to those who are players and have no time to be real.I am seeking someone who wil be there for me and right now I do need someone who is local and can be real and seeks the same.. Oh yes and is not married or taken in any way..I am not a home wrecker never have been..I am going to be moving soon and will need help in moving and making some decisions for me IM rather tired of doing so...I just wish someone would come forth and be a man/Dom/best friend not in that order but you know what I mean. I am sure the Doms wish the same thing as well.I am real and I have always taken care of what is mine but sometimes that isnt enough and they stray and get lost..So life is what we make it or break it either way we or I will survive with or without the reality of thwe lifestyle .. In time I will find it again.. Take care sere


10/29/2011 9:08:38 AM

Ok no place to go nothing to do and yet noone wants to do anything..I find it useless to be here and always hoping . I wasted 6 years looking and hoping and waiting and NOTHING  ever happened..So after this week I will be gone I have alot of stuff to take down and pack away so it will be a new adventure elsewhere for me not here..I read the same profiles people say the same things but I guess they wait for the whatevers to come to them because none are wanting to do anything on this side of Florida.Who knows maybe be back in Kentucky who knows been asked by my sister I may.Noone here wants a life or someone to spoil them or care for them why push myself on them..I guess their wants aren't as important as their wives or g/f wants huh....So after this week I am gone good luck to those who found and got what you wanted maybe one day I will have my desires fullfilled...Until then  be SSC always serenity aka Mary 


10/21/2011 5:55:44 AM

I just have to share this I read  profile here it said seeking subs and I have a firm hand lolol give me a break..Using the hand trick does not give anyone a sub..This is an example of players or nevergoingtobes.. Too old to be social and offer punishment instead of what all subs needs ,that feeling they belong ..No hand is going to give any sub a place to belong..Submissives are the neck that turn the head (the Dom)without the neck there is no turning anything..Why do people assume we are out for punishment because we call ourselves submissives. Submissive is a GIFT given, a gift that is more precious and desirable, and needed sometimes. And you want to know the difference between a REAL submissive and fake one  ask me..I learnt many years ago the difference by watching,reading and listening..Took me over 14 years to learnt the difference. So it also works for both Parts Dominates as well .. A Real Dominate will offer their hand,their heart,mind,body and soul. Not just their hand geezz how bland is that..boring.. If I want a spanking I will do it myself or smack myself ..Im more into excitement,daring,out-going and pure fun..This lifestyle isnt about how many welts you can give or take but how much you know and want to learn..If you want to share rope bondage together,or experiment with toys so many toys out there why not try them all out use a place I shop at www.sub-shop.com

. That has been my shopping site for over 11 years now. I find it so cool when the sales are on.. Even try the roleplay scenes dress the part of doctor, nurse or cowboy and cowgirl or slut or pimp lolol,why not go to a Renaissance Faire dressed up that is outrageous and cool.. So much you can do to enjoy this lifestyle together and excitingly..But puishment is cool if you want to use it some may like a small amount used but welts and bleeding like I did for 14 years is not the way to go unless you really hate people or something.. So enjoy in safe sane and consensual ways .You'll both be blessed tremendously.. smile your day will go faster and happier.  sere


10/20/2011 6:38:44 PM

well I dont know what is going to happen.Im either going to get my 40 hours aftera  year by working a hour  everyday with another section of my company or I am going to quit..I cant quit really I need the money and job..If i could just stay home and cooked and cleaned and made sure everything was done right it would be wonderful I really miss that life but he's long gone and Im in Fla and he's in Minnesota with his g/f. Amazing how much life can change or you can change..You think its going to work out then something comes up and tears you down..I have to fix my car and move out by January if I dont get that job I might as well pick a bridge because January the lease is up and I cant deal with a basketball game above my head every night after 12 am..I wake up with headaches ..So life has me on hold for now.I have made it out of worse but this time im not sure..I may get a roommate for a while or six months  Im not sure I have someone in mind but I dont even know how its going to work out ..So who knows the key.I have tho been thinking alot about my own business in travel..I work in it why not 5 years experience and I know how to do everything to get them boked so who knows I am checking into it..So I will keep everyone informed believe me..It may help me out alot but I wont be asking for alot like all other agencies do..So Im going to wait and see what happens with building my site if it turns out right I will be ready by Monday I hope so wish me luck because right now I can really use it ..hugs serenity 


10/15/2011 8:04:41 PM

I am hoping things start to look up for me .I amy be getting my car fixed or comouter fixed one of them I hope I wish both but heck thats too much 270 plus 127-397 total  anyway something wil break finally I see light as they say..I am going to start looking for a place to live next I am going to hope to have a roommate to help everything out ..Im going to be going 40 hours finally in a week or two ..My company is opening up a new program and im going to be part of it  yesss .I told them I want to work more hours so we'll see what I can get into lolol. I love it when i cause havoc sometimes makes my day go so much nicer lol..Plus my job is secure so I know I can get away with it ....So Im doing much better  and hopefuly I wil find a place I wanted to move to aKissimmee but my job is in winter park so I may have to think about it more . My deadline to move out is end of December I am hoping in November around 15th..Make a great birthday present huh? so I hope everyone goes to Halloween horror nights I wish I could go to Busch Gardens horror night instead make a good stay all night  mini vacation  huh?so maybe I'll grab a date somewhere and go I need a mini vacation since i didnt get a week one due to my car being broken down. so enjoy  and smile   sere


10/14/2011 3:45:47 PM

ok here it goes. I am off the whole weekend with nothing to do or any place to go . MY car needs a pipe (exhaust) from manifold to sensor it broke off in two places there . So I am about to get in that car and drive it until I can no more..It has held me back so many weekends from enjoying my days off and im really getting tired of it.I have to move in two months how? My job gives me 33 hours a week thats it I will be getting 490 hours in two weeks working with another company at my job site so I will be getting my work.weeks like this  makes a woman want to just say screw it and take that chance and hope and maybe meet someone but I cant why because of my car..I love my car but I have to pay my bills every month like everyone else and what I have left well I can get my cats food and litter..and they aren't even my cats they are my sons but I take care of them..I just dont what to do anymore. Im tired and aggravated..My vacation  didnt even go well my car was broken then why not worry about getting a few tickets havent yet  but anything is possible..I would hope one day someone will take care of me  help me enjoy life ,have fun,talk,be daring,impulsive be bad or good.. Just live life with. I dont see any light yet and may not for many many years just my luck too. so have a great weekend everyone  I'll be somewhere here at home as usual.. Take care Mary


10/13/2011 8:47:09 PM

Sometimes life surprises me and I am for some oddd strage reason there are alot of married men looking for a woman . That is sad .. I believe if you dont love the person dont marry them or live with them because 9 out of 10 woman feel the same way but are less to say up front..I had a meeting I just got borrowed a computer from work so until I can save  up to get mine done Im using this one and its sometimes too fast ..so excuse the typonese..As I was going to say I was going to meet a man this weekend because i placed a personal ad of course well right before we met I asked him because of lack of communication if he was married, he said yes does that bother me?May not bother me but what about the wife or even the husband it goes both ways women are just as guilty but thereare more miserable men tho making that attempt to step out why? I ask this question in hopes I may help some here as well.. Is it due to lack of communication it is always a big factor sometimes,each work no time to spend together so they drift apart not realizing they are really making decisions ,planning  doing things alone ..Then on other hand it could be lack of interest,the husband or wife lose interest in each other and start to play around  until they cant stand to even look at each other and finally separate for good.. They tell themselves the kids what would they think,say..Let me tell you from experience I was married for 32 years I know and learned.Kids at any age know before you even say anything,they hear,they see,and definitely feel the friction,tension..They know and guess what they are stronger than we are they handle a divorce or separation a whole lot better..They dont want you both sad and unhappy it makes their lives sad and unhappy so dont worry about them they are survivors  sure at first they will say or cry but after that first day or night away they are fine.So much people dont know about ahead of time.My life is about learning everything,I love learning,I love helping.I love, love.. I know alot of things alot of times just because i wanted to find out . Like a while back a dear frnd of mine here is a sadist,I was curious about what they use or do so he invited me over a weekend and showed me ..Nothing wrong with being curious and having a trusting friend to show you  things,how to.. Just make sure before you do anything you KNOW that person and you feel comfortable..I am looking to belong for good  because once i find that place I won't be going anywhere else or looking and everyone here will be the first to know I am taken and done but only if that happens and the way it looks well it may be 2020 be3fore anyone even thinks about anything it seems ..Anyway I will be back and forth ..Maybe between here and where Im going there will be a destination made. So be good and enjoy  life Im planning on it ... be well and safe  serenity


10/1/2011 10:01:52 PM

well lets see where do I start.. Oh I had a ok weekend even tho I was stood up for a meeting from someone in here of course..I sat over a hour waiting nothing happened oh well that wont happen again ...Someone else asked for my help or advice and i gave him all i could on the subject,never heard back probably lied to me anyway as I assumed wont be first time he did.Lets see oh I had to reload my computer and still havent gotten my sound back yet lol. I really dont care either ..If my computer goes Im gone best thing that may happen to me yet staying away from computer..I was lied too stood up and ignored by three Doms oh yeah missed one too damn busy to spend anytime with me to talk so it dont matter I accepted life here as it is.Noone is real and Noone cares.I read some great profiles they should be published  sound good too good that is fun of it all writing and getting people to believe you Good job to those  who like to screw people and go to next person to hear the crap you may want to tell. There might be a handful of REAL  people who know the lifestyle but it seems im getting the BSers why me because they read  my journal and  think hey if i had her i could be involved in some sex or roleplaying towards sex..You are so damn wrong.. It is not about sex,It is not about submission and it definitely is not about who has the most playtoys to say they use..I can get 50 whips to hang,or 30 flogs on a table its not the material side of the lifestyle that makes it you.Its the heart the feel of fitting,belonging,wanting,needing,the heart..there will be one time in your lifetime when you will know if that person is right for you in 2 seconds you'll know and if you dont grab that person you will lose them they call it a clique..I have had the clique once and lost that person and he died before  I was to meet him..It takes more than words to believe it takes actions sometimes and not all sexual but intellectual..With me respect is number one then honesty,I will not play until I know that person and definitely not on the 1st meeting that meeting is knowing the other person what they like dont like hard limits,soft limits what they will expand in limits.. These things are crucial in all areas of D/s or BDSM or M/s.. So take it slow and easy there is no rush in this lifestyle it is to enjoy from the heart mind soul and body..in exact order..be well sere


9/29/2011 7:00:55 PM

Ok here it is like it is. I am a woman with a slaves heart. I was sold and bought as a baby into the lifestyle when I was 15 months old..I learnt to repect,be honest and never steal ever. Communication was only allowed when asked . Friends were not allowed and work was done morning ,and night before bed ..The floors was washed,the clothes were hung up to dry and taken down and ironed daily. I gathered eggs before school and came home and weeded a 3 acre garden..I ate my breakfast and supper and went to bed after work was done. When I was bad I was whipped until blood covered my legs and back and arms but I learnt never to do it again whatever it was..I was never told I was loved,wanted or cared about never ever .. Love was never allowed in the household or given the man and wife slept apart I slept in same room with the old woman they both were in their 70's but the woman was boss...I lived as only child then adopted later on when I was 10 years old never knowing my real mom or dad or siblings..The whips the old woman used was homemae made out of electric cords cut up into 1 foot long strips and then a knot tied into handle of them all..I was always whipped downstairs in a basement tied up against a pillar that held the upper floor up and once I was whipped ungagged and I cried outloud,not allowed so I was gagged and whipped for a solid week..I ended up being anemic after many years down the road. I was skin and bones sweets were never allowed ,no chips nothing unless I was super obedient then the old woman would take me to town and buy me a milkshake..I was sometimes taken to peoples' homes and shown  what this woman was like she showed them how to whip a slave..and how to use them. She tried to dump me off in an orphange when I was 7 after a month she came back and got me..So people here claim to be a slave or use the slave name as their own ..People wouldnt even help me my own teachers would never come and help me or a neighbor I wanted to die everyday but I couldnt I had a purpose today to be here on this earth.. Maybe to get the love I never received or earned or to be an example  or proof that slavery did exist. You didnt have to be black to be a slave my sister was one also but we never met until 6 years ago we had homes where our other sibs didnt have but orphanges to live in there were a total in my real family 13 of us we never met until my real mom passed on thats when I first seen her..and last time..I know I have a purpose and I know I have a love somewhere out here I dont ask for pity but I ask to believe to be a slave you had to live it  and its something I donot think most would survive unless you have the strength of Hercules and the mind of steel. I had a heart of determination and mind of Goals I had my own reasonings to live and I did . I wore my welts and scars proudly because I survived the old womans hate and she had more than the other countries have today and it was not easy of being a kid in which I grew up fast I had no summer vacations I went to church every sunday and every school vacations or holidays I believe my strength came from there also ..I had to believe in something and church allowed me too. I never even had a teen years I never dated or allowed too I stayed there and cleaned and cooked and washed..I finally had the chance to leave  because they both passed on when I reached my 20's and instead of feeling glad I felt alone, a way I always thought I was I finally was .. So life is what we make it I tried and still lacking alot of things in my life but I believe it all will happen soon I have all the faith in the world.. Oh I was sold for only $3500.00 thats it ..to the old couple they got a heck of a deal I thought lol.. 


9/28/2011 7:15:16 PM

Ok I had people ask me about Negotiations in BDSM ok here is all I have on the subject..

Types of negotiation

1. Scene negotiation takes place before the actual participation in BDSM session, during the session and after it. It can be done in written form, where all the topics discussed will be listed for agreement or disagreement. This is made to such as humilation,obedience or verbal violation) and physical limits (such as pain, marks and resistance to various influences);

  • Types of play - practices that would be included in a scene: bondage roleplaying, spanking or sensory deprivation;
  • BDSM Gear and attire - what materials, adult toys and fetish wear will be used;
  • Duration of the scene - at what time the game starts and ends, who will be in charge of the time;
  • Health concerns - talking over existent health problems: allergies, chronic diseases,STD's, taking any medications and other;
  • Safety measures - any safety tools to prevent situations when something goes wrong;
  • Sexual contact - what type of sexual activity is accepted if any;
  • SAFE WORDS - one or set of verbal and non-verbal signs that will be used to stop the play or slow it down.
  • Negotiation that takes place after session is focused mainly on the following: possible drawbacks or otherwise positive moments, feelings and suggestions on the next sessions.

    2. Relationships negotiation is a form of negotiation that concerns consideration of building up a scene relationship or a more committed 24/7 relationships. Partners who are interested in long-term relationships sign up a kind of contract that is similar to one a couple signs when getting married. Together with the questions that concern BDSM activity, partners discuss long-term arrangements: type of relationship, agreement on living together, financial and psychological responsibilities. When both parties agree on TPE relationships they usually agree on signing up a  in support of their contract commitment to BDSM lifestyle and each other. Such contracts do not have a legal base but they allow partners to determine all the aspects of their lifestyle more clearly.I do hope this helps those who have no idea what negotiations are.. They are always used before any play..Enjoy always in SSC  hugs sere


    9/27/2011 6:25:12 PM

    OK I am done trying to find the right One for me and my life..I am going to do something which even I would find a bit strange to do here..I am going to put in a personal ad something different and new to have fun with or even maybe succeed with..Ok this is for all the eligible Doms in Florida .....

    I am seeking One who is strong yet gentle,when we are together experiment try new things on each terms,together..He must be smart as well If he cant' read then he cant help me with my writings or books I am going to put out or keep ..He must vanilla and Dominant as we would be in public alot but when we are alone be exciting..His age is just a number  but I am too old for children like 19-35 way too young plus my son is 31...He must be a best friend in any situation as I would be for him..We would be the best in all ways together..We would communicate everyday,hug everyday make love if we want in the rain, anywhere. We would be One..I dont like liars if he does Im gone,if he cheats on me Im gone,if he decides he wants to leave he can but it would be his decision in everything he would get the final say as he would be my leader,my star,my moonlight,my air my all...So if any single Doms are wanting to make a life with a 55 year old woman first,subby with a slaves' heart attached then email me. I will apply like I stated I thought it was strange to do so I did it just to save time and effort .It may or may not work but I gave it a chance...oh yes Photos do help I will give you my email addy if you want it to send them to..be well and email me I will be checking off and on  until midnight est. serenity aka Mary

    I will look at all the emails and decide then...ty again


    9/27/2011 4:22:14 AM

    I wanted to put this story back in here again I had parts 2,3 and 4 plus its out or was in a book in amazon called The Olive Tree.People  think its too long to read I feel if they feel that way then they have no insight to what the lifestyle is.This is MY way of life I want to life everyday for  the One I will choose to be in my life..I even wrote  one also called His Burning Touch its a story of what can happen if someone does wrong and the results of the wrongdoing..So please take the time to read this story below it is the only way I believe anyone should live coming from my heart..and opinion.. serenity 

    The Olive Tree
    A confused sub came before a wise Master who adored her. She felt that to submit to him would mean she would open her heart to unbearable pain should he ever leave her. She hungered for him and needed him, but was ready to walk away in panic.

    The gentle Master knelt her before him and started a tale of love and devotion. As she looked up at him his arms began to widen and open like a large tree stretches its branches to the sky. At that moment the Master appeared rooted to the floor and his impressive size towered above her like a giant tree. Then he began to speak...

    I'm here for you... now and always no matter how far time and space takes us... Whether you walk away from me today or you stay and serve me I will not turn from you. I am as patient as time itself; I will take not from you unless you give freely and completely of yourself, but I give onto you regardless-- for my love is unconditional...

    Like the olive tree that can both feed you and shade you, I am there seemingly eternal to your short life on this earth. If you need my fruit to feed your hunger I will give you all the fruit you need. If your skin grows dry and loses its luster, the oil from my fruit will restore it and make it glisten. When you need comfort my leaves will gently caress your face with the slightest breeze. When you need discipline my branches will correct you when the wind blows strong. If you just need my shade to protect you from the sun, my branches will shade and protect you. If you need warmth at night my fallen branches will fuel the fire to keep you warm and safe. If you need a refreshing breeze my leaves will fan you and cool you. You are my gardener.

    When you submit to me, you tend that which keeps me vibrant and full of life. When you kneel under me and till the soil, you give breath to my roots. When you water me, my sap flows strong through me raising my limping Branches. When you soil yourself collecting fertilizer with your bare hands, you strengthen and humble me with your devotion. Although my life will go on, life would not be the same without you.

    Your dedication and unconditional care for me keeps me vibrant and nurtures my very core. The sustenance and protection I give you seems little reward for your servitude. Still the gardener serves the tree from her heart and the tree gives to her heart all that he can!

    I am planted firmly on the ground and cannot follow you if you walk away from me.... But be assured I will survive. One hundred years later and two of your lifetimes; I will still be there, waiting for you in the same spot to offer you all that I do now.

    Stay with me and be my gardener. You cannot get lost in me for we are complementary to each other. I am your devotion, and you give meaning to my existence. Apart we live life and survive; together we bloom eternally!

    As the Master finished his last words the sub cried herself to sleep at his feet. That night, he stood planted there like the Olive tree offering her his unconditional love and protection as she slept. As she would tend to him with her devotion the next day... and everyday thereafter!
                                                                                     


    9/26/2011 6:24:50 PM

    hi everyone:

    I am feeling a bit blue this evening as time narrows down for me to move I feel an emptiness of being somewhere I donot wish to go but have too..Its a distance for me to drive everyday to and from work and bothers me..The place i wanted to go is 23 miles one way..I donot know what I am going to do so I feel lost without direction as usual..If I had another 6 months or year to decide I may be able too but I cant.I will be paying rent for a 3bdrm home the price is great better than a extend stay price plus a large backyard but its in Deltona..I work off Lee Rd in Winter Park but the rent is cheap less than 500 a month..but I would have to fight traffic at 5pm everyday on I-4..If I could get closer to Lee Rd and Wymore Rd..I just dont know  I wil figure it out I been asked to move to punta gorda,Kentucky(sister)New York (friend)but no wonter Park area or near there one day I wil just quit my job and not worry about it anymore..and I will workk from home I have one part time now from home but I want full time at home stay at home ,cook,clean and be normal again.This work idea sucks when it costs you to go out the door everyday and you get back less than what you paid to get there.Makes no sense to me but I live it everyday .. Like I said I feel blue ,depressed and sad I have nothing in my life but my job and my cats(which are my sons)but I care for them..One day soon I been told things will pick up for me (seer)next Month so we'll see ... so wish me luck Mary


    9/25/2011 11:10:39 AM

    hi again I was asked to come back and post something that bothered someone so here it goes. I have someone here and I will agree with her that all the females in here are women first and deserve some respect for being such.. Why would any woman apply to a Dom  when he wants a slut first..There are alot of very nice Doms here and some are respectful but some need to know what the word respect means..If you want that special one in your life then show it and not be rude about getting it.. A nice Dom always wins..For the Ones who wants a slut thats good but that is behind closed doors or outdoors but not always 24/7 .. I mean good and hopefully taken to heart..If you want a woman,best friend and you have both of these options then ask in a meeting or go to their interests here posted with profiles and read .. Don't disrepect US,women we are such as you are Men first Not Doms first..What is inside of us if the chemistry is there it will happen,thats why there are meeting face to face not on webcams. We all will be happy as we hope to be in time its not something that can happen overnight..And I want to speak to some of the women here also stop acting like a slut you are not never have been you may find outr the hard way what can happen if you keep thinking you are a slut or whore.. We are whatever we want to be behind closed doors I have had no disappointments in any way when I roleplayed so be special and be real not fake and quit saying you are going to meet men and never show up makes people wonder if you're a player or not. I hope I have addressed all issues here BE REAL and KEEP IT REAL. if you are NOT EVER going to meet anyone here then please leave or let the person know,you may find someone who doesnt like being left in the cold an reciprocate one way or another..Think about it . You have no idea how dangerous this lifestyle can be or is. so be safe,sane,consensual always  sere

    ANYMORE PROBLEMS LET ME KNOW I WILL BE BACK I'm SURE>>


    9/23/2011 5:32:42 PM

    GONE to other site may be back or not.. Those who have my email can write me there if you dont  I'm sorry but this site is not even real so I'm gone to meet people and hopefuly find My One..Maybe someone will be honest and trusting.. doubt it but I give chances only once. Later and be SSC. sere


    9/22/2011 4:29:24 AM

    well I have alot to say but very little time..So I wil cut to the chase if you want to be RT then be so..These webcams suck,they waste so much time in meeting people..I dont know why people have to be so horney they cant even wait for a relationship unless they are afraid to get committed in a real RT relationship or they just hiding something..I am going to start ignoring those who say turn on the cam because Im not going to expose myself to anyone who is looking for thrills.They have HBO for that and walk in theatres..So lets think about the time you wasted and the life you are missing without the touch,the feel of human flesh against yours,the kiss that could lingers for minutes,the love making for hours all this missed and yet wanted, wasted by turning on a computer.. Shame  what a waste of time and energy for both sides.....well work calls  be good to yourselves and to others turn of the webcams and meet or get a room .....sere..{#}


    9/19/2011 6:09:18 PM

    I am feeling alot better I hope it keeps getting better hard for me to think when my head is stopped up...Anyway I have been talking to someone ,nothing definite yet this is a long yet too maybe, maybe not..Right now I need to get 100% first well then I can meet maybe or talk more..This time something will happen there will be a meeting or I will give up trying to meet anyone.. It gets aggravating when you try and try so hard to get that person to come to you to meet since my car has a busted exhaust..So what do I do when a meeting is a must but you cant get there 23 miles away.I was told not to drive my car much more because it is broke off near the engine and could catch fire but I have to get to work and no Im not going to get shot or raped on a lynx bus like someone I know was...and noone from home can come pick me up and briong me home so Im stuck with my car and hope it doesnt catch fire..I had a great day at work did all my work and was able to handle out everyones folders (owner,boss,GM and manager)yes I work for them all and now I will apply for a job at home working 20-25 hours a week so Im excited if it pays better I will go full time./ My vacation check was bad I got paid for 32 hours thats it I barely raked in 250..after taxes..so that went on cable and car insurance,next electric bill 210..I just hope I can still move out by January 2012..Lease is up and i got to be gone..So I will be looking for a roommate soon..or I will be relocating (hint)..Either way it goes it will be for the best that I go and do what I have to..I have a plan but if I cant fix my car I may not be going anywhere..It will have to take me 20 miles one way each dayso 40 miles unless I do get my work from home job done..So now you know where I am at and hopefuly I can do this .I have to do this ..Its just hard doing it all alone without help but then I should be use to it by now I been alone for a longgg time..so be well and happy  sere


    9/17/2011 7:35:20 AM

    I had a rough night last night could not sleep so well maybe tonight I will get some sleep I hope before work..My throat is sore as heck and no nothing went it but soda and food..I can be clean you know..My Nyquil ran out so I got to go to store plus I have to wash my car like I really need to get sudsy lol..But I love to watch faces when Im done they love my baby when i wash her and wax her,but still needs a little bit of work to get her back to normal,I wil manage. Meanwhile I am house hunting too no luck so back to an apartment  but it better be big lol at least 1200 sq ft to start.. Winter is coming and I need to be close to my job plus gas prices are going up. I have no idea why I am discussing this here wow..I totally went off the road lol anyway I just wanted to share my happenings and how I am feeling . So talk later maybe something may happen by tomorrow maybe doubt it but maybe ...later ciao sere


    9/16/2011 7:15:56 PM

    well I am feeling somewhat better lost a few hours of work but I will pay for it next week..My week went slow and i was glad when Friday got here... I still waiting and hoping but I am also working and staying out of trouble...The One potential I was considering  didnt think I was good enough and went hunting again let the next wannabe fallinto such good graces with people like that..I am staying in the shadows and waiting and hoping.. If anyone wanted to be real and act it then they would be here  but noone likes someone Bold and to the point that is what makes me unique in my own way and respected by many in this lifestyle..Well I am cutting it short tonight I took some Nyquil and need to get some rest..Because once im rejuvenated again I am going to do some house cleaning here and every im box I own..If I hit a sour note in your idea of life Im sorry but its my life I run and handle noone wants the job or can handle it........good night  hugs Me{#}


    9/15/2011 4:21:21 PM

    I am feeling halfway good and bad so maybe I will stay home tomorrow and babay myself since noone else will do it...I see my journal has hit home and stopped some from emailing me or even iming me..Which in my opinion only doesnt matter.. When I feel better it may make a difference then right now nothing matters anymore.. This may be the only time which I could care less about others feelings..I need to think about myself at least for a day or two I have always been selfless always and always cared about others and let myself go which I find stupid.. Yes I was once a domestic slave now I am noone why ? Because I have NOONE. Just like MOST here have Noone in their lives so why profess something when we aren't. I left work early because I felt like crap and now I feel numb and empty..We can't say we are this or that because we arent, all we need to do is put in our profiles swf looking for a swm for a li or vice versa who ever you are ...Nothing weird or stress but fun...I seen so many say they are Dominant males but to whom? Or slaves or submissives  or even switches I ask again for whom? WE need top put the titles to bed until that time comes meet someone express your interests of course before a meeting,there's always communication before a rt meeting so open up and share everything and HOLD NOTHING back..Noone is a Master unless they own a partner whether submale or submissive female anything can work just drop the silly nonsense saying and displaying a power play. Write a book about power play then you can stage anything.. But just be casual and talk and meet that simple and to the point..Everything else will come out when the time is right (should be after the second meeting or first if it goes very well)Well Im going back to bed Im feeling bad again so be well ands happy in all pursuits but main thing be yourself show your hearts always.. be well  serenity


    9/15/2011 5:07:52 AM

    you enjoy my writings huh? Lets  bring it up a notch..When sometimes people tend to make others think hey maybe this person is a possible connection when all in fact they are players. People dont realize the impact they place to others while waiting and waiting..I am sick I have a flu that my own son had now I have it .. Now I have to go to work and work how I am feeling .I sit directly below the building a/c vent and its cold..No I can't move its too hot for a jacket or sweater so I will try to work thru to the weekend.. I seen my paycheck when I went on vacation ,its bad I got paid for a week plus a holiday and yet its the same as if I worked 33 hours..I had counted on this check to catch me up on my bills and hopefuly get my car fixed ,NOPE not today or next week .So I put my car up for sale and hope it sells enough for another car and catch up on my bills..I doubt it but I am trying..So this goes to show people can screw you and get away with it. My boss is on vacation enjoying it while Im in charge and making sure things run smooth,so far it is and I should join the army lol. I could do it..Anyway I wonder why people lead people on making them believe they are interested then smack them with the fact they are looking for some discrete,and deceiving stupidity on the side action..I never have cheated or will maybe thats why Im against it so much.If they cheated once they will with you or whoever they are with..Why be married or attached if you have to cheat. Thats not love thats asking to be left homeless or with nothing in your pocket. Here is an example : I have never met this person,, had been talking or typing to this one person they had been busy doing God knows what with or whom,I was happy to read from this person when they returned and I told him I am sick(flu) he asked for pics from me. No consideration or concern I am sick but he wanted pics thats it.. My God what happened to this lifestyle where the people should be concerned or cared for I was deeply hurt so now I know what is next to do ..and NO I am not saying anything I do what I think and as I say but Im not saying this time,he will know what I am doing.I will let you all know what I did after the fact lol...If you have someone in consideration or in your life STOP and think about them instead of yourself,care for them if they are sick,have a cold or maybe a hug  take the time out of YOUR busy schedule and give them one ,or if they are sick from a cold or flu go to a Chinese diner order wonton soup bring it to them,BUT CARE for them. Its a Doms' responsibilty to always care for his own as she/he would for the Dom/Master.. I can't stress it enough ..Try it and see how much you will be loved in return.... take care sere  


    9/12/2011 7:03:55 PM

    I feel the need to write tonight .. I wonder why noone is going RT...I am seeking the lifestyle yes but I do work so vanilla takes a big part of my life as I am sure it does with you as well...Some dont work so they can choose to be Full time RT but I work and love my job alot even tho I am seeking a more powerful job maybe not to work anymore or to start up my own business or maybe staying at home cooking,cleaning or spoiling My Man. I say man because he is a man first as I am a woman first above all titles then we grow together to become more with each other not in one day perhaps but in our hearts together.. So why be all in the lifestyle what would you do at night time or daytime for excitement if you do it always every second of the day and night? There would be boredom soon to dissolve the relationship why not make it fun and set up dates,appointments,be daring sometime,be surprising you dont have to do anything at all just remember you both met in this site and in this culture of life,dont be a fake go to munches together,gatherings even host a private party and invite some friends in the lifestyle over and enjoy learning new and exciting things..Life is always exciting it is as exciting as you allow it to be so open your minds and hearts and grow more in the direction you all choose..I have and did, good luck in all choices and even with the bad choices we have made, we learnt and grew from them. I just hope I get the chance to prove exactly what I mean here and I will make sure life is exciting and happy for me and my futre potential  if I find him and believe me its taken 5 years this far might as well be more patient and I have been plenty of that...all my life and will continue on..until I cant and that my friends is at least 50 more years waiting lol.... be good to one another  always Mary 


    9/11/2011 1:23:47 PM

    You know life is full of surprises sometimes it can help you or slap you in the face..Right now I dont know which way I am going.I will be going back to work with a as is car muffler still broke off in two places,but my next check should handle that but still after that I am going to sell her for good.I had many offers and chickened out, this time i am going to do it..I have too..I am planning on moving soon and I may get the down payment to get my dream home afterall,but then i may not..I really dont want to live in Orlando its so full of people,crime,and no jobs..I would like a place I can get outside and plant some vegetables and take a walk whenever i want without worrying about weirdos attacking me,and maybe have a little pond in backyard instead of a pool..I am changing jobs soon also I been offered alot more money but I may have to transfer to another state which I hate snow..then I been offered to run my own business with a good backer(someone does trust me )lol,I want to be a travel agent on my terms,my way.I have had years of sales doing such selling vacation packages into what I do now QControl but in QC I dont get spiffs or bonuses.but with my own business I can run it as a legit company all legal and done right ..I amy think about it but I once had my own business in which i tried getting my ex husband involved and my son but my ex gave it up for drugs so that was that it was his vehicle i used for work and things were worse so I couldnt go on with it..So much is on my plate I just wish I could share everything with someone . Someone who would keep me motivated in going on,doing it all my best way I can and be there if I fall..I always been positive  and negative I never expected nothing until it happens at least if it didnt happen I wasn't devastated or having a panic attack..So now everyone here knows what I am planning and thinking about....I can also design and decorate homes too I may get back into that..So many things I have done can do  but I need to know what my real love is in working..All I have done I have enjoyed and would do it all again but its time for a change..I was planning on Kissimmee area but something happened I dont wish to go there anymore not even for enjoyment.Unless I said UNLESS I have good company with me and it wont be a every date thing either..I have other plans in other directions to move in. Im done with wasting my time with players and wannabes....and THEY ARE!!   sere


    9/9/2011 8:20:27 PM

    Well Im Backkkkkkkkkk from my vacation and it sucked..I was suppose to go to Universal Studios area and stay for 3 days couldnt make it so instead of enjoying my vacation in a room ,alone ,watching tv naked or just going to jacquzzi relaxing I did nothing but cleaned a friends house and stayed there until friday so I left sat-Friday tookthat long to clean the dump.and it was a dump..No way to even see anyplace getting clean but I did it in 3 days grease as thick on countertops,stove it was 3 inches think piled and left for bugs to eat,then dishes left in a dishwasher for a year ,I am serious a year dirty dishwasher wasnt working since it was put in and dishes in the sink piled hig with bugs and cigg buttes,food,for two weeks if not more,toilet was  completely black never cleaned inside,sink was just aweful ,,I cleaned it all I washed the tiles floors  but didnt stay clwean long with people spitting on them spilling things on them,I broke a glass plate on it cut my ankle,so this was my vacation.The person who lives ther was a hippy 58 years old and has emphezema and has a computer brain but lazy as a bum..Would not throw away chicken bones instead throws them on my cleaned floor for his cats...Believe me when I said lazy whiny man..I came home and had more fun within 6 hours of being home than I did the whole time I was away..I am going to be making alot of changes now..I will be looking for a new job then I will be moving asap..Unless someone wants a domestic slave all i know how to do..lolol I am realizing alot of things in my life has to get better or I wont be working too much longer. I finally get a vacation after 5 years then as I am clocking out my bosslady said oh I forgot you were leaving ,i told her i didnt and I was gone with no phones on me..Plus I found a perfect place to move too but IM going to get that job first before tackling that issue..Even if I got to go out and eat someplace nice would of made it all worth it but not even happened. I am going to stop helping people its time for me to live and enjoy life I havent done so since 1994 when i could go anywhere and no worry about money,whichj I will get that chance once more by my own company,if I decide in that course.But I wont be working for others when I can do much more and make more and being happy so we'll see what happens . BUt I will be making changes nomore BS anymore time to sh** and get off the pot and make more all I need to be happy..Money isnt everything, friends are worth more but who can you count on anymore?People say alot things ,I need you I want you and there's noone else.. SOSAD. I hear those things in my sleep lolol .so if you want to meet we will but afterwards that first meeting it will be continued or stopped.. I am not going to waste anyones time as noone is going to waste my time with BROKEN PROMISES...and BS so changes will be made...Thank you Mary be happy and real or be miserable and GONE..


    9/3/2011 8:09:17 PM

    OK heres what Im doing for my vacation . I am doing alot of cleaning,designing,and renovating not my place but another place I will be moving into in december...I waited to see if anyone would be proud enough to have me I thought someone would but didnt ..So I am going to start cleaning it up and tossing things out of it from the previous owner..Im renting only 250 a month one bedroom,mother in law suite behind a hugh home...I will eventually have the hugh house but for now I want to start small..Nice vacation huh? well I looked around  found a few places but I was not going to try it with my car I had hopes I would have someone join me but not today or tomorrow all I got is I will call you well scratch that my cell quit working right so I have to get a new one saddddddd .This vacation I was suppose to take turned out to be a nightmare,I twisted my kneecap at work friday,I type so much I may have carpal tunnel in my right hand alot of pain,oh well let not forget I gave my son 50.00 for food since i do live with him I would of felt bad leaving him without anything even tho he makes 15.00 a hour, mothers instinct took control and made sure he had everything,so that put me lower than ever on lodgings so I called in a favor for a week and will be busy..I was hoping for so many things but theres too much BS going on for me and I'm not waiting. If anyone wants to meet someone they should make that attempt to see that person why put it on the other person.Isn't a Dom/Master suppose to make arrangements to see his potential as well?  I made a choice in my mind of my next potential but he is only around if he wants to be ,maybe with a wife,g/f or close friend,before him there was another one who dont care and wont make that attempt to meet anyone unless they have their own place or bed.and also has sevferal profiles too ,so He dont care  I dont either games are for kids. and we got them here too. so anyone wants reality and a happy life drama free and stressless let me know I can only wait  for 4 months to a year after that im gone.Life waits for noone..so i shall follow it ..sere


    9/2/2011 9:01:57 PM

    well lets see what happened today name it,my kneecap is swelling I twisted it ,then I tripped on my own feet,pissed off someone and oh yes its my vacation starts now until next sunday 11th..and I so well desrve it after 5 years of hell in one company . Before i left today my workload just turned up more  I have something else to ad. Bad enough I work for owner, and GM of one center and a boss of this one and I am also a manager in my own section I get more stress added..I was informed also I get a paid day off  duhhhhhhhhhhhh its my vacation day she said I was only one that deserved it I had to remind her it was my vacation. shut her up anyway.well I will be leaving Sunday I was going to kissimmee now Im not just because I dont want too..I was going to meet someone but Im not playing second to noone its my week and my dime.I see so much BS here in profiles IM strict,I am not looking for Doormats,Im honest and looking for honest or one I seen said he was a whore for rent lolol.. My my how stupid does it all sound..Everyone is something in their own mould there is someone for everyone somewhere keep advertising your big and bad and Strict you may find what you seek be careful tho some of the women I know could turn any Dom into a wuss.So be yourselves and be less out there and do like I do stay in the shadows and watch..Check the people out also it helps. I learnt tonight if you aren't going to meet someone in a week then you're not going to meet that person for reasons not told time to walk away and keep right one going ,I know someone I want to meet but he works most of the time I tried to met him and my car or job or something always stand in the way. Very nice Dom too I may try again because I have had a few thought's of him and he is very pleasant as well .But then some are here .. I just dont understand what these women want,players or real people who will be there for them. anyway Everyone I will be gone for a week or few days I may go to altamonte and stay seems like a so so place or Sanford or even better New Smyrna Beach not far and they have a few places reasonable..So have a great week everyone pray for my car she sure needs it lolol byeeeeee ola ciao adios adieu  bye


    8/31/2011 8:46:40 PM

    hello guys:

    Well my job took a turn for being annoying to the hilt.I had to give up my office and desk  for a place with everyone else in sales  but I am still in QControl.. I didnt do any work until 4pm a hour before its time to leave. I had to clean fans,refrigerator,sweep floors and offices because or janitor didnt have a vaccuum.So I rehurt my arm it has been broken twice already but I was lifting fans with it and i felt it like a tiny snap in wrist bone so I put a bandage wrap on it felt better but the guys helped me at work..my hand might have carpel tunnel or whatever it is it hurts when i type ..I use it for work and home  all the time so I do alot of typing. But I will survive,,...Now I know I had a topic but I need a vote  here I am going to list some places to go on  vacation I need everyone to send me their votes..I have 6 day vacation and I have no idea where to go ,but I want you to keep in mind I have to stay close to home tho because of my car it sounds like it came from the racetrack lol..I really need to go to bed I cleaned alot today  and Im stressed out on my decision where IM going,should it be in Orlando,Daytona Beach,New Smyrna Beach,or cocoa beach,,or kissimmee,or Lakeland or stay at home. Let me know I wil post which one wins tomorrow night . Night everyone hugs  M>sere


    8/30/2011 5:28:59 PM

    well another topic tonight the bdsm lifestyle.. It is a mental side of living your life out by..With it you have alot of roleplaying something like Gor but in reality.If you are a slave then be such put that in your mind. I cant do that because I was raised as such to be that in RT wherever we went in public and at home..it use to be the only life I knew where noone used the word love,or hugged anyone,or even touched each other.. I could say 1950's home but the people I was raised by well one side of the couple always was like that,the boss ..People tend to take the lifestyle and try to use it daily if they dont work they can but it takes two these days to make anything work,bills wise..I work but Its sad when I come home from work and I want to be loved but cant or held and cant or kissed I cant  sad..Im going on vacation next week  alone..This will be my very first vacation alone and I want to say I really dont want to go anywhere..It wont be fun and I cant enjoy it alone..I had over 15 invitations to go where they live at all over Florida but I still dont want to go because its not right and I wouldnt feel right doing such..I am going to move once I get back around the 1st of October..but heck I would have to drive to work one way 30 miles..Its not  like I live in Lakeland and go to Disney and work its just my car is a 2000 and its on 119,000 millege..I love it tho, but it hurts me when it breaks down and I have to use my whole check instead of bills pay for her to get fixed but still I love my convertible..The lifestyle is for people to enjoy whether married or single or swingers or groupies,go to munches or private parties which I will say are killers and cool as hell.. I love private parties more to learn from..and plus you are respected there as well very much..You may have plenty of room to host a private party if so invite a few close frinds to your home and enjoy but also if you have neighbors close by please repect them also.. They would you even if their the worse neighbors..Bondage,domination,submission,maschoist,all always done in safe words always I know some people who wont use safe words and they end up hurt and I have heard of some calling the police because they didnt talk  or negotiate play..This is always a sad situation..I believe in contracts at all risks afe for me and my potential..But I want to stress this  the lifestyle is what you make it, enjoy it ,play with it share it if you want,just do it SSC> safe ,sane consensual. Everyone will be happy and dont be afraid to try a scene this is where you can bring someone else in with it if you want to try that if not keep on trying and enjoying..I have sevweral scenes one day I will try since I am daring and sometimes i like to step out and try something once in a great while  still fun is just around the corner  .. Good luck    sere


    8/29/2011 7:36:34 PM

    Want to know what I'm thinking then ask me..Alot of BS going on and I know one person who has 3 profiles now may be more .Now this my friends is bad..Can't get laid (he is vanilla)the normal way has to come here and pretend to be a Dom now this is so damn sad ..I dont know how we can stop this from happening but to me this is dangerous especially to us,women..If someone has to hide their identity its either because their married, criminal,or just plain stupid or hard up,or may be a pedifile who knows .I dont like false identities never will that is someone I will never trust..I haven't yet but I know who he is just by a casual conversation then I knew something was wrong by certains words he used or said..So I am going to start using Intellius to find out about people its getting that bad,3 profiles come on,imagine a woman doing it wouldnt be so bad but both are very bad and dishonest..I know now where I am going to start going to for chat or anything else where it all orginated before here,ask a friend they can tell you  but they will say all players are there WRONG,,Look at this place 3 profiles  is alot worse that a fake plus you will meet the people there  and be in a lifestyle you want I met 7 people form there and all were great but one who almost killed me in a car wreck well actually did kill me lol gezzz..Long story and I have recouped and doing wonderful so far..Just need my place to belong and soulmate..thats all ..lol anyway I'm at the other place enjoying great conversation and postings..If you dont want to talk post something at their posts its fun and cool to be able to learn and use the ideas they put forth..So talk later I will be back and forth to post..I won't let my friends down for no reason.

     

    Hey Jack I see you lolol hows Tennessee? My mom was born there in Jellico,but I never knew her or met her but I seen her in her casket only time I did see her take care hon miss you always  need somemore demo's done, I would like to learn firecupping sounds very exciting. Talk later hugs to A/all..sere


    8/28/2011 6:36:59 PM

    hello;

    Didnt think I'd make it this evening I am looking for a place to go on my vacation. So far Kissimmee won so far,but then it depends on my car..I am going to cut it close fixing her and getting reservations made going to be too close..But I cant wait another week ..So I am going to which has what I need in the room,I will need a place for my margaritas in a freezer,then food,I may order out or just eat alot of fruit. I have a fruit fetish this week I love wearing it anyway,so watermelon,strawberries,kiwis,pineapple no doubt.then go to the pol and lay out and relax.Oh darn I need some lotion put on me darn it ...I know the sun will be baking me bad I burn quick too light skin soft and pure white in some areas hopefully noone will be around I may want to get a few other areas tanned too and not spanked tanned either lol..then afterwards come inside grab a shower and put on something cool and go to Old Town yeahhhhhhhhhhh ..The whole purpose i chose to stay in kissimmee.But then I may have other ideas too . This will be my very first vacation alone ever so I want to do something different and i have NO idea what it would be sad huh it is for me..I will check into it tho maybe someone would like to go to Disney villages with me and look around go into the shops and grab a coffee or drink and just grab a boat ride ..It doesnt cost to have fun...You have to make it fun to be fun..So many places I want to go and stay but I have only a week to do so so instead of Punta Gorda,or Apopka,or even Casselberry I am not sure tho I wanted to check places also to move too. So you know what I doing I have this week to work then I will be leaving  monday until 11th,but it depends on transportation ,I have to make sure I can do it it like i said it depends may be shorter time, maybe ..good night everyone  sere


    8/27/2011 1:23:20 PM

    Ok I got some emails asking me what is going on..first more important my car..I received  100.00 from my family and now im 167 short.I am going to ask my job for that,..I hope this time they will come around...Secondly,my friends here,,I have had some good emails and I appreciate the spying and running back telling me things but I have no need for any of it..I dont have anyone in my life  to spy on before I was only talking and planning but nothing became of it he decided to replace me like a battery lol sad way to think about it but not my problem we never met so no biggy.This brings me to meeting people I am going to say a few things about meeting someone from ANY site...I see some of you all are in craigslist now in personal section asking for a submissive..That is not a lifestyle website its ALLLL vanilla.Nothing else .It will not get  what you want there..If it does the be careful like here it is protected by certain people .. Now back to meeting.. I have had offer after offer to meet what happened to the phone calls,or emails,or patience,is the libido going that crazy now..I can wait now I have alot of patience I have had online relationships for 3 years twice from two parties.So I have patience but even that has change since one died before we met.I now will meet someone after the first week not 4 months or 3 months or even two months..I will like to have full phone each day and on a folowing weekend meet, since we may both work,we will meet and talk only!!! then discuss our second meeting in which may be more intense or more getting to know one another it may not have sex  involved, maybe more talking or make it a date or more make a contract for you both then after you both know what to do and what can be done and all the limits made are respected..You just cant jump into something because you are horney or desperate this lifestyle is not like that at any time,its about enjoying one anothers company,and behind the closed doors get wild and make the fantasies happen,my fantasies will be exciting,and outrageouslsy wild,I may not come out of the bedroom for two days let alone just one..But it has to begin with trusting and being honest with one another .If you feel comfortable then go for it but if not, talk about it ,dont toss him or her because you didnt talk about it first..Love goes alot deeper sometimes you may never see it or feel it but its always there if its right.. So be Sane,Safe and Consensual in all things,together.. sere{#}


    8/26/2011 5:38:30 AM

    I am going to ask nicely BOYS i mean boys donot send my your pix of your body parts..I find them disrepectful to me. If you want to model them parts then go to a DOMME and do it or a porn site I am not overwhelmed by nudes or penises  flopping on a page especially when they are younger than my 31 year old son sad...Them boys were neglected as babies it seems..So please refrain from them ..I would like to say i still get amazed by those who think Im dumb ...They think I am so desperate they show up out of the blue say I want you and they think thats all it takes to get me..Stay tune this time next week I may shock a few..Oh I may be away for few days  coming up I have someplace to go for myself only and i want to enjoy this place.And no its not locally....I have 3 nights  im taking off for my vacation and I want to do the vanilla thing LMAO....I may go to Louisiana or may be in Sanford or even closer who knows  noone just me lol .So not this monday coming up but Labor day I will be away from computer and have no communication with me so I will be cut off from everyone..Oh if I am going to be under consideration I will meet first but not today..Next Payday car gets fixed so I will be ready for the road with my top down and sunglasses on.Next Im moving ....now that will be fun so I may grab a few here to help me .and no playing lolol all vanillla work lol  I dont do groups lmbo.. Love ya guys anyway  keep on reading .. sere


    8/24/2011 9:20:50 PM

    tonight is not a good night for me to write anything. I do apologize for this something came up and got me a bit beside myself I will pull out of my rut and get back into things again soon .. Sometimes I see people pull out of a relationship because a barbie doll comes into picture and hey you are talking with someone for days and hey why not have a trophy g/f?Nice thought but we all know how it will last..But do they ever think about the one they dumped or replaced ,sometimes ,sometimes never.I dont know about anyone else I am looking for a place to put my heart,mind,body and soul..How often have you married into the lifestyle? well I am sure I have been beaten on that question I have never...yes I said never..I wa owned yes for 14 years butby my adoptive parents.They bought and paid for me but what bugged me about that  in 1956 I was only worth 3500.00 think about it now what a bargain for a baby...my sister was done same way but she was older.Do it now and your jailed ....but things like this are going on all over the USA. and still doing it we hear about it on the news sometimes.and what gets me also we never know we are sold or bargained for drugs and booze until we are in our teens meanwhile we are washing wallls ,doors,getting whipped by whips and gagged and even blindfolded we never find out anything and what makes us slaves is we had no choice,no choices,no say so we did what we were to be taught to do or we bled  and wore welts everyday and another thing  the teachers would never say nothing. People think slaves are just another word for enjoying the lifestyle ,eating,sleeping,having sex day and night ,do whatever they want to do ,wait until you get an electric cord cut up in 2 feet lengths in 6 strips and a knot in the handle and you are hit with it and dared never to cry or speak or you'd get more.. And people call this abuse lolol you got to be kidding,its being taught right from wrong the old ways the only ways we showed respect,honesty,proper ettiquette used daily ,work hard as a child before sun up and before sun down every single moment of your lives ..try it now see how far the little girls will go..Take away the TV and car and money then you are hal;fway there to having something worth value.. If not is it spoiled goods not worth picking or keeping..Slaves are not privileged they are the workers,the caretakers,of The House and of the Master of The Home. He makes the calls He makes the protocols he makes sure the family stays together from the beginning..and nothing less..This is the old ways and sin some cases it was even worse for us but I will refrain from anymore graphics but you get the picture..be well sere


    8/23/2011 8:16:11 PM

    For those who want to know how I am .I am ok. Sometimes we make mistakes and sometimes we dont.Tonight I got accused of being someone else which the person who accused me never seen me well that will change..I am going to see him if I am right I believe he is heavily sedated and has to be every night..So this will be good a druggie himself...I dont care it in Sanford area anyway everyone gets shot at once a day there oh well if I am going to be accused I will meet the accuser.. I know it is dangerous but I been through worse with my last marriage I lost a child in it because of abuse.Anyway I am ok .. Sometimes we have to take that step when you are in the lifestyle.. You want the truth you search for it or show it or prove it..I have nothing to hide if I make a mistake I apologize sometimes I never know I make one until I lost something important in my life  then you find out the hard way when they drop you like a hot potato.what do you do get up and go forward never backward.. I had a email last night after I apologize for blocking everyone  someone in a email told me to bend over not even on his best day would I bend over and yes I can make that choice because he is not my choice..People been here so long giving orders out to children when they come accross a RT submissive then they expect a little girls response ,sorry sweetie  Im not a lil girl and noone spanks me UNLESS I CHOOSE HIM. I dont play the games people do here I am real T and will stay such I didnt get whipped  for 14 years with a whip which made me bleed and have welts for weeks in school and church. I was taught to do what I have learnt and will do so as I learnt not as someone tells me..NOONE OWNS ME..YET!!! when that time  comes then EVERYONE will know and respect that decision by B/both.. Ty  


    8/23/2011 5:05:31 AM

    good morning to A/all:

    I was adjusting a few things in this site and when I deleted my profile it cut everyone off I mean blocked everyone,so I came back and reopened my profile just so I could write for thos who like to read my journal and know more about my way of thinking and thoughts ..So I have unblocked quite a few I see I got your emails and messages to now I am back just to write in my journal..If you'd still like to meet and go from there  then please let me know..I will also be on a new job hunt.I was going to be transferred to another area from company to work so I am looking for more money and more distance away..My job field may go beyond my current one but I did about everything and want to put it all into focus for more money. I been offered jobs from 3 companies  making $2.00 more a hour,then I was offered salary,then another I was offered my own apartment which after I get my new job I will need. I am into Q.C now for two call centers one in Winter Park and one in Sanford,I would like to expand myself to my own call center..which I am working on also.I know I can do it  been in it for years so I know about costs and gear needed.People no problem I 'll go under a bridge and get those they will work at least for their food most wont they take their jobs for granted.I want to be able to manage one place and work in another  field..I can do it I ran my own business years ago and made 20.00 a hour..Did great too but I learnt not to have family involved...I want to be able to manage also from my home as well I have my own office and can work from there as well from my own job,now..All jobs I took and stayed at I was there only to learn how to do them.. Cheaper than going to school and spending a fortune on books and wasting time traveling back and forth every day.I know what I want to do but will take me some more time to get what I need to start that business but can do it anyway piece by piece. So anything is possible I just have to decide which direction to go and live..I am free to go any way I decide. I use to have only one direction now I have no certain direction ..


    8/21/2011 7:07:03 PM
             The Wayward Hall of Mirrors           
     
    As I walk down the hallway's of my life
    I find myself surrounded by mirrors
    Mirrors of self-reflection
    Each one different
    Each one unique
    All pointing inward toward my soul  
     
    One reflects a warrior
    Sword in hand
    Ready for battle
    Fearless and powerful   

    Another shows a child
    Small, innocent
    Cowering in fear
    Crying, reaching out, helpless   

    Another shows a seductress
    Alluring, tempting
    Wanton and beautiful
    Confident and proud
       

    Still another shows a mother
    Caring and giving
    Sacrificing for love
    Patient and always there
       

    One mirror shows an imp
    Playful and sneaky
    Hiding, laughing
    Enjoying life's every moment
       

    One shows a hermit
    Fat and lonely
    Stubborn, angry
    Hating everyone, including itself
       

    In another I see an artist
    Flooded with imagination
    Creative, fascinating
    Seeing the world through a prism
       

    Another mirror shows a newborn child
    Innocent, curious
    Filled with wonder
    Watching the work with new eyes
       

    In another I find a thief
    Deceptive and uncaring
    No sense of right or wrong
    No morals, no justice
       

    One mirror holds a nun
    Humble, insignificant
    Devoted and insightful
    Always striving for the greater good
       

    Before me a mirror holds a Sadist
    Cruel and powerful
    Full of evil imagination
    Understanding the fine line between pleasure and pain
      
     
    An old woman appears in another
    Tired, and slow
    Work worn hands, aged with time
    A sparkle in the eyes of unknown insight
      
     
    Each reflection, each mirror
    Holds the truth, for as they say
    Your mind may lie to you
    But a mirror cannot.
     
      
    Truth is a reflection upon itself
    The truth however is not in the reflection
    But what you choose to see in the reflection
    Each reflection is a prism
    A thousand interpretations of truth

     

    this was written by MLR,me,lilserenity

    its another love of my life I wanted to share enjoy..


    8/20/2011 12:59:11 PM

    I wanted to come in and let those who care know what is happening..Well yesterday got very bad for me.Bad enough my car needs to have some work done ,some kids decided on painting it and 16 others as well.So I called the big cops in.What really upset me is I was two hours late for work,car yes but my job is more important to me.well I ended up driving it to work with all the squiggly designs on driver door and hood.People knew I was not happy I came in sat down at my desk and almost lost it.I wanted to cry to badly but yet I held back..So my son called me told me to get some laquer thinner and he'd get the spray paint off. So I spent 20.00 on several things ,somestuff that takes graffitti off of everything..So I was driving home from work at every light people looked at me weird. So I came home and drove slowly I wanted people to see what they done to my sports car..I pulled into a parking spot and man seen the graffitti on the drivers door and smiled, he said, me too? he had gotten it worse,but he also helped me out big time emotionally,I got out of car and he showed me something on my hood how the paint came off. I took the stuff out he started cleaning my car for me .The paint was all gone..He told me he had to do his van and he still had to do his car..I told him who did it I knew who had because these kids never sleep and live above me..I went in my place and still wanted to cry but couldnt I was emotionally drained  I called my boss told her what happened she was happy for me but still I need to borrow money, somehow  to get my exhaust fixed 270.00 ,,It so loud I cant even hear my radio so Im saving I have some saved but hopefully will have it before my vacation starts.But I may take a company rental car  I hope. It's like a relationship you cant give up,you have to keep going no matter how bad it gets, and I played hell all week in keeping my sanity.. My job is becoming more stressful since now I take care of two call centers thats something new they threw at me.I get to work everyday,I make coffee 4 pots,I clean off agents desks so they have clean desks to work on,I grab a coffee,then open my file cabinet get my work folder out ,sit down turn on computer and plug in my headset and sign in to three or 4 different sites and use each ..What I do at my job is a bit more involved with agents and T'Os. I have had   several lose their jobs and may still do it if they are caught selling something we dont have or lying to a customer.I have been with the company on and off 5 years in October. So this is my everyday life I come home, noone is rarely here and I take a shower, eat and go to bed. Thats my life and I really am tired of it..After my vacation I am planning on making a change and I mean a big change, I was offered several positions elsewhere with other companies so I may do that not counting moving out also..So wheres is my Master I need him badly hello anyone out there......??? let me know life wont wait for you or me ...sere


    8/18/2011 9:11:14 PM

    well Im done . I have entered a few more into my book of players,users and liars..I just hope I can get it published one day it will make exciting reading..Oh I know Im bad but hell life isnt waiting for noone not even the players.oh yeah the money hungry ones are back too .They will screw you for a price lolol PIMPIN AIN"T EASY lolol not anymore..Gosh Im glad I left the other site to warn you all even the ladies its going to get deep very soon..Anyway I have my days in here and out there and everywhere time to close shop huh? but I hate to do that  if I do I cant write in my journal anymore..PLus all my exes are here still lolol..So heck might as well keep them in sight I hate to leave and not know if they're behind me somewhere exes tend to that even if there's no chance of getting back together they are happily attached and loved  TG.all I have to say..The ones I still met here are well I know one is still attached playing the field and the other one gave it up (got too old he said) and the other one i met for dinner but it was bad food and company.Thats what its all about meeting and finding out, if you dont meet then you'll never know..I have learned alot just by watching ,reading and meeting..What I am seeking may not even exist..Too many want slender,or petite,but guess what they dont stay that way..I lost 10 pounds but found it ..thanks my bosslady for that..So I will be closing my profile soon I just have to do it when I am ready and it will be soon.. I have nothing here and noone who cares anymore so its not pity or sorrow its the truth,reality as I know it..I wanted to meet and live happily.If I can't then Its time to go ..I would only be fooling myself thinking its possible here,..So I'll love my friends always and my exes will stay my exes they too need to be loved also lol. take care later Mary aka sere


    8/10/2011 6:17:51 PM

    Ok here it goes. I have One in mind but he hasnt met me yet.I want this one because he is what I seek..He doesnt know or will know after if we do meet then I will mention it. People want to have more fun on the phone or in emails than meet anymore why I wonder but I know why,one may be job but other may be because they have a wife or g/f..There is one I was considering but heck he wont meet either..Whats up with this they get off on the phone that rather meet me and try to see where it goes..I find it all disappointing to me.I have tested a few to see how far they would go and nowhere did they go but at home and never moved forward to anywhere not even to my job or meet me after work for coffee or chat or just to say no thank you not a word..I have aword for those but I will refrain from saying it..I am better than that and I will stick to my tests because if they cant meet then they cant be happy or REAL..and I want REAL..Right now my car is broken down needs a cat converter on left side front one only..But I have to go to work I even offered for someone to pick me up and take me to work and just to meet me qand spend time with me but no way he said sorry I cant wife wont let him..so scratch it all..I am going to put my phone on block no more calls no more emails unless for directions or when I go to work or get off work or where my job is at.anything else I will not email back..You want to talk to me email me one time to talk only if I feel its worth it I will open communication then but if its only phone sex NO WAY...Time to grow old happily not alone and on the phone cumming all over the walls and computer screen or keyboard..Time to grow up and be men and they know who I am talking too lets do it or forget it NOW!!!! Gosh I sound Domme but no way in the world would I ever become one EVER,....Be Real or Gone!


    8/8/2011 7:30:37 PM

    ok things calmed down now..I am seeking a Man first One who knows what he wants and knows how to get it..Then I seek a Dom afterwards One who can teach me to His ways,what he wants ,needs and cant live without,then I want the Master  the One who is intimate,caring,loving,wanting,needing ONLY me all three in ONE Man.... I am a woman above anything a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it if possible,if it isnt possible then it wasnt meant to be. I am also the slave  with the golden heart, the one who will wash His back,cook his meals,bring his robe to him and shoes and make sure his clothes is in perfect readiness for the next day,I may even prepare a few surprises as well He will love and appreciate,then I am the submissive the one who helps make decisions,run the errands for Him,make sure he has everything he needs ,I will be there for him for his use,I am not into welts,needles,bloodsports,or kids,animals and above all I am NOT BI-sexual I will meet his every need .I think I am old enough to know how and when and where.I love being suprised in good way, ways that are fun, exciting,I love a mystery I always try to figure out what is next but I dont want to know I want to feel it or be shown it..Then I shall be content and know MY Master loves me and appreciates all I do for him without me there is no Him,I am his neck without the neck the Head cannot turn or move..There will be no ending to our lives just a continual on-going excitement day and night always ..You all ask what I want this is what I want..TO LIVE,TO BELONG TO BE LOVED..be well sere


    8/6/2011 9:23:20 AM

    This is about as dumb as it gets ,why cant men just say i want sex and not use a DAM title to get it..I have seen vanillas all my life .I get emails wanting to play but married and no deal because i have to work all night and cancel long enough to get my work done to have the rest of weekend to meet..How I can tell a fake from a real is when they want sex and no collar mentioned,nothing of the lifestyle they want to have kinky sex thats it  OMG. ARE we for real..In last 24 hours I have had 4 wannabes call or email me asking what I am wearing right now or want to play,or we can get a room,or just want sex..I am not that stupid I am good but I be damn if I am going to play at any hotel,or bed with anyone if I am not collared by a REAL Dom.And he has to be a DOM..Why do you creeps think I would skip protocols and be unsafe and hope I am alive next day play when I dont even know or seen you or even better talk on the phone..?? I am NOT stupid..I got one after 3 months telling me he loves me wants ME to get a room and F* all night long with him and he is listed as a DOM. First havent met but talked on phone for 3 months,phone sex only,and lives 30 minutes away and cant meet me ..First of all the DOM sets up the scenerio or place after that 1st meeting...Yes I am pissed off yes I have every right in the world to be you wasted my time playing f* games, head games with me. This really upsets me when I could of enjoyed this weekend with someone who thinks outside of his penis..Im sorry for being vulgar but damn lets be real not stupid..Oh and I can go to any doctors office and take pics of his chair and tools ,dumb lure..should of went to a hospital took pics of their emergency room table  lolol..be well and grow up.Im too old for games and far too good to waste my time in any hotel room.. 


    8/1/2011 5:03:53 PM

    Darn it I came home and weanted to play and noone was here. SAD SAD SAD..what does a woman to do I know what most do but I wont never used desperate measures because no man is around..I am about sick of waiting on a man to grab me..yes I said a man it takes a man to be a Dom..And when I come home and in this mood hell I might as well go to bed to sleep ..Not drive myself nuts  wishing and hoping everyday..What in the world wrong with men are they all married or taken here????geezzz when I think of a rabbit fur flog on my ass well lets say its a bit more than sensual. Or a teasing whip or even a knife blade on my hot skin  ok enough ..Got to stop this now..talk later bye gezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz darn it.


    7/31/2011 6:54:38 AM

    I hope everyone read the Olive Tree to me this is my life as I wish to live it has been since it was written..I wrote a part 4 years ago and never put it down on paper or internet..but I may rewrite it  to update..Meanwhile I am stil unowned and no where close to be owned.. My life right now is going wonderful even tho no soulmate . I have a great job with a new promotion now I am a full manager instead of a second rate..I am going on vacation the 22nd of August for only a week but it will be my first vacation alone,was hoping to have a soulmate by then so I could spend that time with Him.. Life goes on and i will as well..I bought a new webcam with night vision love it ..as you can see by my profile makes great pictures too..Lets see anything else ohhh I went out bhy myself FRiday night I went to teo different places first one was a bit overdone considering the type people there it was dine up expensively for a poor crowd more like after work sweaty crowd..second was more fun,I sat and had a drink and decided to play pool by myself and did well someone walked over wanted to play me so we played and played a couple also..The partner I had just got out of prison but just friends nothing else could happen..He has same type,year car I had but mine was a convertible. It was a nice evening but the crowd there was mixed, black and white and everyone was having fun.That was something I haven't done in years is go out by myself because of my car accident i was in 2002..Alot of things have held me back from living my life I may be 55 years old but I feel 30..I lost 10 pounds last week and feel alot better I will keep going and improving on things in my life..If someone comes into my life let it be known marriage is out,Im not looking to marry but to belong,collarwise, that is marriage enough for me..When that happens then my life will have been completed,then it will belong to My Soulmate..always


    7/25/2011 7:42:15 PM

    THE OLIVE TREE ----Part 1Like Bdsm

    A confused sub came before a wise Master who adored her. She felt that to submit to him would mean she would open her heart to unbearable pain should he ever leave her. She hungered for him and needed him, but was ready to walk away in panic.

    The gentle Master knelt her before him and started a tale of love and devotion. As she looked up at him his arms began to widen and open like a large tree stretches its branches to the sky. At that moment the Master appeared rooted to the floor and his impressive size towered above her like a giant tree. Then he began to speak…

    I’m here for you… now and always no matter how far time and space takes us… Whether you walk away from me today or you stay and serve me I will not turn from you. I am as patient as time itself; I will take not from you unless you give freely and completely of yourself, but I give onto you regardless– for my love is unconditional…

    Like the olive tree that can both feed you and shade you, I am there seemingly eternal to your short life on this earth. If you need my fruit to feed your hunger I will give you all the fruit you need. If your skin grows dry and loses its luster, the oil from my fruit will restore it and make it glisten. When you need comfort my leaves will gently caress your face with the slightest breeze. When you need discipline my branches will correct you when the wind blows strong. If you just need my shade to protect you from the sun, my branches will shade and protect you. If you need warmth at night my fallen branches will fuel the fire to keep you warm and safe. If you need a refreshing breeze my leaves will fan you and cool you. You are my gardener.

    When you submit to me, you tend that which keeps me vibrant and full of life. When you kneel under me and till the soil, you give breath to my roots. When you water me, my sap flows strong through me raising my limping Branches. When you soil yourself collecting fertilizer with your bare hands, you strengthen and humble me with your devotion.

    Although my life will go on, life would not be the same without you. Your dedication and unconditional care for me keeps me vibrant and nurtures my very core. The sustenance and protection I give you seems little reward for your servitude. Still the gardener serves the tree from her heart and the tree gives to her heart all that he can!

    I am planted firmly on the ground and cannot follow you if you walk away from me…. But be assured I will survive. One hundred years later and two of your lifetimes; I will still be there, waiting for you in the same spot to offer you all that I do now.

    Stay with me and be my gardener. You cannot get lost in me for we are complementary to each other. I am your devotion, and you give meaning to my existence. Apart we live life and survive; together we bloom eternally!

    … As the Master finished his last words the sub cried herself to sleep at his feet. That night, he stood planted there like the Olive tree offering her his unconditional love and protection as she slept. As she would tend to him with her devotion the next day… and everyday thereafter!




    7/25/2011 7:30:34 PM

    One thing about the internet you can go anywhere on it and be whoever you want to be..Even here.. people use this site as well as other sites for dating sites shame too I look at the lifestyle as a permanent life with only one. But I guess nothing is forever anymore. I thoughjt I had and found out I didnt have after all like every other one here noone is real..at leats those who say they are arent.. wht can I say I know how to tell a real sub from a fake but heck how can you tell a fake Dom from a real one. Sure believe everything omeone says ,then you're on the internet after 2 months of not meeting then it turns into 6 months to a year so forth..Where does it stop? Maybe it doesn t this is getting to be like all other sites playsites only for online only people..I have met 3 from here noone was real and I met one from aol who was real,Jack he was a sadist who I asked to show me what a sadist does and he did with trust given,but I was not his sub,I just asked to be shown..He was a great Dom but like all things he moved to Tennessee.. He was a great friend one I may never see again sad thought huh yes it is..But he was the Only real Dom I ever met while being online for 18 years now..Im not asking to beat me everyday or hurt me just love me and want me and I will take care of you .If you ever read the Olive tree story that inspired me so much to what I would do for my One. and He would know I would care for him for as long as blood ran through his veins and air filled his lungs That is what life is about being in the lifestyle and that is what I seek...I wil get the story and post it  in my journal I hope you all read it and learn from it..It is in 3 sections each one is a teaching lesson..I love it and will also learn as I grow as well with My One when I find Him..so be well and keep looking for the Olive Tree Story..ty  sere


    7/24/2011 4:39:40 PM

    well I may have gotten over my head in helping someone..I went  saturday and had cable,internet and a phone put in for a person who lost their job I felt they would of done it for me plus he is very old and not well..What my dilemna is I am going to pay half until he can get a job part time..He works now but only 3 days a week and he has rent ,electric to pay plus he has 20 cats yes I said 20.. a catman...He has a hugh heart and cant turn away a starving cat espciallywhe  they have kittens also..He is a old hippy he says and stuck in his own ways he knows and trust I will make sure he is ok..My problem is I dont think I can afford to hold on the half bill part.I am going on vacation in 3 weeks have to have a 100 deposit and 168 for the week im there..nothing else.Plus I got a car in which I wil have to transfer insurance over to it(down payment) I just dont know if I can help him that much..I want too if I have to I will go to work and ask my friends to help him also or a government pogram to pay his rent  he needs alot of help ,stubborn but with all those cats he has loat 127 pounds due to being unemployed ..Food stamps he gets 16 a month thats it..He is a welder and he goes over and does odd jobs for the company but they will not take him back full time..PLus He is 58 years old and in bad health ,and losing weight he looks like he weighs 120 lbs  at 5ft8 use to be bigger . I know I can help for a short while  I just hope he can do something quick.. If not I cant either sad but true ..Im behind in my cable bill now and to get him cable  haerd for me to do but I will do it...no doubt.. anything else its ok excpet im manless of course lol anyway talk alter hugs to A/all sere


    7/19/2011 3:55:40 PM

    hi everyone .. Nothings changed and I am still free to do whatever I like..and can..I am still looking for someone who has ideas and wants to use them in SSC ways..Please I ask if you like to play online please donot email me..I am real and will always be real.. I loved someone very much recently that it made me think if we meet come get me and we'll go wherever you like except a motel I am not into motels or ho-tels either. I do have alot of decency left in me along with spunk and strong-will..I am bold and will say what bothers me it may be said wrong so dont try to figure it or assume I said it a certain way unless I agree with you or until I explain myself first..I wrote my first book called His Burning Touch. Sweet and passionate..It is a book about a sub and Master who are RT and the sub received a punishment for the wrong thing she did,passionately and given with love and strictness,it is the first of my mini 12 book collection set i am going to be writing. I have over 500 poems I have written too and I have a gorgeous silver trophy to prove it and bronze medal.My poems are now in cds collections and one is one the wall of Library of Congress. So I have earned my goals and achieved them to highest degree..I will be taking pics of my trophy and medal and display it as well..Not bad for a slave then in 2004....I would like to continue my painting. I have a way to even make hanging tapestries I mean hugh ones you see in castles..I love to woodwork as well power tools are something I grew up with making things as a child I made my very first swingset it was hard but I had help from my dad.I love salt-water fishing from a pier inEau Galle I caught a 57 lb red drum.. and it was not easy .I had to walk a half mile to bring it in..and it even tasted great for 6 months..I even learn to taxiderm.. I stuffed 6ft rattlers to a red tail fox which was hit by car but not dead yet so I tried  to bring it back but couldnt it was broken inside I had to get wildlife commission permission to do it it was endangered..I love cooking as well I can cook a 12 lb lasagna to oyster rockerfellar.. I love cooking and have made a recipe book for batchelors to use or single people who cant cook..So there are many more things I can do and I am useful especially in finances as well.I can stretch a dollar and have a vacation the same month.. Im old enough to had plenty of practice doig these things and I do them very well along with the hundred more things I enjoy   smiling  so maybe I may catch a good Dom yet I had one last week but things couldnt come halfway for us so it ended ..I thought it was best so did he..


    7/18/2011 3:36:15 PM

    ok I wont put anymore questions in here thats why I go elsewhere and write or ask..First of all I am looking for a roommate one who wants to explore the lifestyle with me  and create our own scenes and roleplay in RT..Or I am looking to move in either way I would like to take it the next step further to RT ..I preefer someone who isnt attached tho it could cause problems especially if you have a pregnant girlfriend on the side never could handle  someone who screwed around on someone  smiles . Anyway if I have to move no big deal can and would Im not affraid to meet anyone  or go anywhere..If I have to go to Daytona and live no big deal or my favorite St.Pete..All I do ask is that you work as I do,be completely upfront and honest and not be an abuser dealt with that 3 times done with that style and it wasnt play either.I decided why go through al the antics of meeeting  and no play for days or weeks until next meeting why not just take that chance go RT and be what we say we are,even if you aren't in the lifestyle I could help you be. I have helped others to be involved..Nothing harsh or mean or sadistic or extreme just day after day enjoying life night after night  or whenever time allows I know we may have other plans to do errands or visit people the lifestyle  is an entertainment to enjoy making.and believe me it can be alot of fun. Oh and please donot be a child I will not answer your replies if you are.. Look at my age you'll see why..Just respect  what I seek and perhaps someone else does too.. Lets join our minds and discover beyond we can go alone.. I can and will  and I am not afraid of trying..Let me know asap  thank you  serenity


    7/18/2011 5:38:51 AM

    Good morning all .

    The question of the day is :

     

    If You found someone of interest a definite potential, and they right off hand tell you they love you and start texting daily 54 times a day or even call you 10 times a day and even make plans for a collaring and future and you found out they were not in the lifestyle as they claimed to be what would you do?

     

    This is a regular thing happening here. I would like to see the subbies and slaves  stop giving in to these people. Get references go to their ex mates ask them like I did several times..Stop mentioning of money,or homes,or anything of value in your hearts and lives..Be what you are and nothing else..I mean if you are a submissive then be such dont role play or be fake it makes us who are REALTIME look like you..We aren't..If you dont know how to be a submissive/slave let me know I have training site everynight in a new site just for learningm, email me and we'll help you out..If you think you know it all, you don't we never stop learning. Just ask!!!  But dont be a bug on the wall just to lie and play games with me because I check out everyone.If I find you are a fake and nevergoingto be I will block you.. If you happen to slip through the net and we do talk ,we will meet face to face in a weeks time . I DONOT play online..But I will answer questions..This lifestyle is D/s to me not bdsm but D/s. I live it ,only behind closed doors.I go to munches,I have done a few things in this lifestyle not with the One I want tho.I am seeking that One who would share and do things with me either at home or in front of thousands of people on stage demoing a new procedure. But the world is small and so are the areas of lifestylers.


    7/17/2011 8:36:09 PM

    I joined a new site and I guarantee no fakes there...So I wanted to let the nevergoingtobes here enjoy this big playground. When you stop beuing nosy and begin to meet people daily or weekly then you might make it..Then you'll be a wannabe if by chance you can think of your soulmate and not other women and can give your heart to only one person then you may even get a title..If by chnace oyu  wat to learn how to become real and to get involved with real people then let me know and I will know if you're a fake or real..I am going to instead post my journals but to post questions  and try to answer everything I can about the lifestyle if you have a question please ask ..Anything personal like me finding you a Dom/Master or vise versa from Doms then I am sorry that is what this lifestyle about working your way to becoming offline  and to meet in person face to face..So let me begin and get it started ..Thank you and enjoy..

     

    If a Dom/Master gives you a gift do you accept it or give it back if you are NOT his sub/slave...?

    I am going to answer in my opinion if i may.. I was given gifts years ago from a Master who I adore and we were a couple for over a year online .He could not meet me face to face due him living at his parents taking care of them  they were very sick and not able to care for themselves so he handled it all .WE were a couple like no other online..There were noone else in my eyes he taught me to be Gor and to be RT.. because I asked about it so he took me through a scene of it..loved it.. WE were always on the computer day and night.He gave me his collar it was a beautiful necklace of Black Hils Gold.  I accepted it along with a beautiful dress and stockings and chained panties.This is what I was going to meet him in this is what he wanted..We were going to meet on New years 2003. It was all I ever hoped for he booked a lodge for us he bought candles and roses and plenty of food ..I had my train ticket and was going new years eve..well New years eve came  and phone rang I got up and answered it it was his mother she told me he passed away night before I passed out and fell to the floor..I woke up in the hospital and they said I fainted .then it came to me he had died a day before we were meeting I had no idea he was sickj or had COPD he hid that from me becaue i would of worried..So the answer is it depends if he has another sub/slave talk to her or him. Get his references  find out everything about him if you need help to find out if he is real or she is let me know I am able to find out these things with alot of luck..If he has noone yes then in person.. Always meet that person you want to be with if you dont you may lose the only chance of happiness in your life I did  and I regretted everyday afterwards because of it..This is why I have not had anyone to take his place..Because none can.yet!! 


    7/17/2011 9:24:02 AM

    Ok here it goes there is a vanilla who wants so much to be a Dom he played me and everyone else who is looking for a place to belong he will go down in my book of Liars...My book is coming along very well day by day something new comes along and guess what they become Doms instantly pooooffff.. I believe in contracts before any meeting  people who are real know  if a contract is to be used then it is made and signed saying and agreeing to all terms. I am a bit more than a slave and a sub. But only a few know me and have met me here like southernmaster met me and another one who was rude on a 1st meeting I found it to be not worth my time..I have met 12 in alt.com  and 5 in aol  even demoed for a Sadist Dom once  because I asked Him to be it was alot of fun and he is here as well and I am going to a new site noone knows about here but my ex Master MasterLon3446. Hi Sir Lon incase you read this also smiling..I will keep my profile here but if you need to reach me certain people will have my address I am changing my job,my home,my friends and my search..The change came by a person who felt to  say he had changed even tho he had never And never will. I find it a waste of time talking about it and even thinking about it .. a total waste of braincells and gasoline. Life goes on.. I learned my lesson and learned it well,very well.. He  deleted us  and put it back and deeted it again .He has a profile under new name as well, playing the fools game hoping to win..Instead ended up in my book of Liars.So that was my story and that is the way the story ends deleted for good.I know real and I am staying real. Maybe I will see you all at a new site maybe if you want to go there then  let me know.My profile will stay..be well and tai~ to those in Gor as well..sere 


    7/15/2011 9:05:32 PM

    Well heres the update most Doms are waiting for . I am available .Please take the time to read my profile ok.. This will shorten the 200 questions mostly asked.. You want to know what happened I am sure. here it goes..And I learnt a very tough lesson from it all.. Sometimes men I say men who have a relatonship with someone  is seeking a way to release stress ,pressure and whatever else they need. We let me tell you a story about a wannabe or nevergoingtobe..He met this real time sub in here and started talking ,everday they spoke from text messaging or phone,I always wondered why  but I found out why..He preferred to have this pressure released daily by cyber net or cyber phone..This made him feel very good but he neglected to tell the real sub he was a player only for online or phone because he needed that sexual favor done for himself..Ok this sub knew  it was a fake after the 3rd night when he stated adding women on his facebook page then she confronted him and he erased the whole page ONLY to come here and add another profile under another name.. This is so damn sad when a man not a Dom as he claimed plays with women like they are nothing.He needed the phone or internet here to play with people..I can get his address no problem but why reduce myself to his level. He played me and you know something I assumed it was happening when we were going to meet  his car broke down and couldnt meet. That is when I let it all go all the hope dissolved to dead air.He told me to close my profile so his new one would go ..But you see I found out its not hard to find out if your potential is cheating,watch the signals,see how long it takes to go to a meeting..Watch a persons mood when they think they got away with it to haha I caught your ass..I decided never to tak toe him again because he played me badly.and yet I didnt care I told him earlier tonight to go on AND PLAY IF YOU DONT WANT ME AROUND.. Well he did and I am not taken because once a fool always a fool..This is a lifestyle and players are always stepping in to try to Dominant and say they are . I know the protocols and ways ..You cant change them if you think you can  You're a bigger fool than I was ...LIfe is what we make it it will either make us or break us,.I know I am not wrong about this  and Collarme thank you for verifying the account for me .I always know reality comes around very seldom.....So be well or gone I created that saying for same reason that happened to me and ended tonight for me..


    7/10/2011 6:56:07 PM

    Hello People I wanted to add tonight. This may be my last entry for a while...I may be leaving here. You see its like this I have never found love I have never had anyone care about me,noone to love me or even want me..Why, easy .I have a bold intention of saying what I think If I don't like something why hide it I won't.  The only thing I ever hidden was something to do with a sexaul experience in which I did not allow..No I won't go into it but in all things we do we need that trust,that love,and of course people who cared..I am sitting here with tears because I love someone so much it hurts but that is not the problem,I want to reach out to him,I need this, I need to know he really does love me,but he lives a hour away almost..a hour.and another problem I met him online and we never met.But I chose Him as my last love,last Dom,My last best friend the one best friend I do need..We come into this lifestyle to live as One  Some make it because they are two when they joined and people see their profiles as one..I have taught this lifestyle to over 500 people ,I have been in Mistress Steeles' room,I been asked to go to retreats in Georgia ,even overseas to help others over there. I have given my last 15 years here online..I want to quit online completely. I wasted enough time here and in alt and in other sites all over. I was a world poet with my awards,trophies and bronze medals and gave that up with over 600 poems written,I gave up my true love of a job being in sales where money was never limited..I have had alot of money and I have had none.I gave my last 20,000 away because it caused me more misery than happiness,I gave up two children both were 3 months old and 3 years old because I couldn't have them live with a man I was married too who hated them and me and the child I was carrying in which he killed while I was carrying him.,I have had noone in my life because of the lifestyle.I was raised in it by a Domme who hated me and her husband..I met this man online, M.K he was wonderful to me ,he told me what I wanted to hear and gave me the confidence I lacked ..I wanted him in my life so I chose him as my soul mate. I still want him but I ask this since we never met I sent him cam pics and photos do you think we will be the One"? Noone knows not even me,. He swears he is genuine I want to believe it,so many have told me this same thing everything I wanted to hear but he has my heart,and love but how can I ever believe anyone since I been lied to everytime I turn around its damn Internet line of deceit and lies.We have to meet I suppose but what if I am not what he wants afterall another heartbreak,and more searching.. NO this is my last entry unless my life does manage to reach the degree of happiness I deserve.I served my heart as a child I had no childhood,or teen years I only worked for them,cooked ,cleaned everyday,then I became their chauffer..Its time for me now so I am going to resign as a submissive,and a slave. Its time for me to quit..If this relationship does not work out then I am gone for good..I will give it a chance because he deserves it also as much as I do..So wish me luck either way I will let everyone know what happens so you don't have to waste your time coming here...be well and happy always ..

     

    To know me is to love me.. serenity {#}


    7/6/2011 4:30:36 PM

    It is ok  to state an opinion but why email me telling me I am too old how in the hell can you say that when you are same age.I bet you can't even get out of bed in the morning or have a job to go to work too or hell I bet you can't make it to the toilet in time ...How in the hell can you say such rude and and stupid things.. I told you I am NOT a slave anymore. I been through that Im done with that life..Why tell me I will be a slave with you . I am sorry to tell you this but male chilvary went out the door years ago, The submissive chooses who she wants to be with,I am the neck that helps the head to turn. I asked to be equal and you say never will happen well if you want a one-sided relationship more power to you.  Might as well clean this site up with all the stupid sayings and ideas about what I am suppose to do for anyone.  Number one I will select who I will be with or who my potential will be, Number two before number 1 we will meet and talk and see if we are compatible. I cannot or will not be with someone who is arrogant and know it all because in the lifestyle noone knows it all it grows larger everyday..My selection will be judge by respect given and taken,honesty if I can believe in him, and trust if I gave him something I will know it will be there later on because it would be in his care. whatever it may be..Also faithfulness,if I go somewhere like work or shopping I will know he is not trying to see someone else I would be his ONLY woman in his life unless he has kids then they would be first. He will make a contract for me stating what he wants and likes from me as I will sit down and talk it over and discuss it with him as I sign it.. NOTHING will happen until we meet and talk.After that we will know what will happen next..IT will be mutual..Now who is stupid ? Can a Man make a commitment with me now no matter Dom,Switch,Submale,Male slave can you make a commitment to me with me? If not, donot email me or write me again and live in peace. Nothing in life is free nothing or noone you pay taxes also so you made that commitment, so can you be happy in a committed relationship? Think about it  serenity


    7/6/2011 4:34:20 AM

    Ok for those who think I have nothing,,, wronggggg again. I have had a email sent to me saying I am too old and I have nothing to offer.Are we judgemental today?..You have got to be dellusional or just damn dumb.People don't understand people they assume and well if they are online all their lives wonder why they are miserable and alone..Get a job,go out and meet people Stop wasting money on keyboards and make that move..I wasn't asking anyone to be offered. And what really gets me they are same age I am. Now this is judging an old horse lol..I work but it takes care of my needs I am happy with the job and it is my place away from everyone online and home..I have my own car I am buying and putting parts on it every week next is a muffler then maybe a something else after that but I am buying it all.Im moving hopefully soon I am hoping towards Kissimee but that will come in time I want to take my time in finding the right place..I donot have to advertise I am or was this or that I am a human and I know what makes me happy all I can do is offer what I love to do...I am not out to pretend Im something when Im not..My friends know me and my pasts know me..I now have a future I don't have to prove anything on this keyboard or in a chatroom or in any room.I know.If you cannot accept me as me  then I am not for you ..I am vanilla and in the lifestyle both. I have not been in the lifestyle since I was 19 but I was in it completely for 14 years day and night..I lost who I was serving and been searching since...You cannot tell me what I am or not. I have had it embedded in me by scars,I know what I am. I chose to be a submissive I been that slave  and learnt from it,now I want to learn more and will.But NEVER judge me.. KNow me first,meet me then go from there. I am the serenity I can accept change but I will not change what I can't, only myself. be well                    serenity


    3/16/2011 5:15:41 PM

    Life goes on without anyone in my life. I got my promotion and now I am out of sales for good until I decide if I want it back.My job isn't full time so I was told if I wanted to go back I could I said no thank you. After 4 years in same company I was burned out and done with sales.So now I am in Quality Control or Assurance whichever people call it and I love it.. My days off are on the weekends only yessss first time I had a weekend off since I started back a year ago... I would like to meet someone who doesn't mind Im a BBW. 5ft7 and 280 pounds sad yes but what else can I do I workled all the time wioth no time to myself for improvements now I can hopefully do something.. I have a plan so hopefuly it will happen for me. But still finding someone who can accept me now as I am would be helpful that way I would have the motivation  more. Anyway I wanted to share what has been happening hopefully for my birthday in April I will finally get the perfect present a woman can only dream of...Take care sere


    3/4/2011 4:11:28 PM

    Well my job is great I got a promotion but yet I am still in sales....I love what I do regular during the week and I am the manager at that. I'm in sale on weekends only sad because they tried to replace me with 9 people only two stayed..baddd..So if anyone  can read and has transportation and has their diploma(even tho over half of them don't act it)and available on all holidays and maybe weekends(we have 3 shifts) and can work full time or even part time let me know.Simple and easy work just answer phone,read a script and thats it. $8.00 a hour,if you become very good you could advance to another section of sales like verification or T.O (closer) .But like I said very easy if you can read with enthusiasm..Anyway I am a Quality Control B( yes the bitc-). I am the only one in this department and love it.. No sales no talking just listening love it..I was in the sales dept. for 4 years and I got burned out of it and asked to go elsewhere so I do a little  and my job..Once I get more people to apply its in Winter Park off Wymore Rd and Lee Rd.Winter Park if you want to know the area.. One way to meet me also..I work every day but monday and fridays until I am replace then I will be off Sat and sun only..can't wait I never had a weekend off..So that is what is going on with my job and hopefully soon I can be where I want to be there and finally start my search again..take care Mary 


    1/23/2011 7:38:15 PM

    Before I get into my job and status there I wanted to addre4ss something that occurred lately online from here.. Evidentually  people think a person will come play with them at any time and be shaved and ready but not this person. I will not play because I am unowned and I won't be a pleasure toy for a so called Dom. Number one I am unowned and wil not allow anyone to touch me until that time has came to make my choice..Donot get personal with me like ask if I am shaved,or what I do to pleasure someone that is noones' business until I am owned or my choice has been made..If you show no respect for me none wil be returned. I am strictly D/s no BDSM..I believe in honor and respect given and taken..My life is never discussed  especially online unless I am in here writing in my journal here..This brings out the wannabes and nevergoingtobes when they focus on women or mene and make that step into using people for their own pleasures. This is not the lifestyle and is not being respectful to those who are real..I will not cam anyone I believe meeting in person is the only way to know a person,Cams are for chickens, people who want to play and use people ONLINE ONLY OR UNLESS they have a relationship started or meeting is a distance matter at the moment..At least I would hope that would be the reasons..I am not a hard nose just real person who wants someone in her life that will be loyal as I would be for Him and someone who would respect her and she would him . He would be her olive tree and she would be his gardener..That is what life is about especially in the lifestyle of D/s...

      As for my job I got a promotion and I will be stepping up out of sales only limited to the weekends only..Meanwhile I am still looking for the place where I belong and one day I will have it and this I truly believe  and the time is getting closer..stay warm with hugs   sere  


    1/16/2011 2:20:10 PM

    well I am still working  4pm until 12 am and sat and sun 8 am but  things are not going right at home.. My son who I live with gave me a eviction because his g/f doesn't like me so I am out..But with my job I never know if I am working two days or 5 sometimes....I am very tired  and stressed right now. He knows I have no money to go anywhere because I just paid his electric,cable and car insurance but  it doesn't bother him in the least. What is g/'f wants,gets, high maintainence and married at that.Her husband lives one block away from her and her dad and well its like the NFL one pass to another. My son won't talk to me because she says don't,and my transportation may be repoed too because  he needs the money to support her even tho he makes 15 a hour..I even have 3000 in the car at that..My sister wants me up north in the darn snow but we don't get along  not even close so that would be a disaster. I have no idea what to do now..Its effected my job and my sleep worrying..I have no idea what will happen.I can't just sit and wait I have to move out or something I don't know what I will do but I will keep you informed ,promise Until then stay warm and well...Mary


    1/10/2011 5:34:04 PM

    ok I am sure everyone wants to know what I am doing right now get ready for this. I am off Monday and Tuesday  had a date no show or call,then I live with my 31 year old son he left went to his g/f's house like everynight and stays no biggy use to it,sothat left me with my 5 cats well even they ran and hid from me..Is it me or is it just they way life is ignoring and neglectful. I had a potential he hd no time for me not even a hi or kiss my ass nothing from him I found out it was me that was to make the first contact bad me..Oh well I am very moody tonight something in the moon or air that just has me edgy and jumping.. I am Aries and its a strange feel tonight..I keep asking myself why on my only 2 days off I have noone in my life who wants to be there with me or wants to enjoy life or experience it with me..Makes me wonder how many people here are looking for just a fling or playtoy..I could go into a chatroom and waste my life away watching,reding and commenting about everyone or thing but that is a waste of time also..So I may have to find soething on the side to keep my attention in focus and NO I play for keeps not for a hour or two..I was talking about a part time job  to keep me in focus and hoping one day someone here or wherever really is interested in meeting me  and giving me that place I belong too.. Until then I will be in the shadows  away. 


    1/2/2011 1:53:47 AM

    For thoses who wish to contact me by email or messenger I DONOT use yahoo  in any form its a bugged site and  so I use Windows LIVE only which yahoo supports.. I been bugged several times in Ims and different areas in Yahoo won't use it.. Sorry but its no different to add  me as it would to add me on yahoo.. Just wanted to let people know so they quit asking me to tell them my yahoo name  to add me.. Won't use Yahoo.


    12/31/2010 4:51:52 PM

    I want to wish everyone a happy New Years and a great 2011.It will be great for me so hopefully for  everyone here also..{#}

     

    Mary aka lilserenity


    12/30/2010 7:21:55 PM

    Ok I got the message of the lifetime tonight..sad to think  someone could be so vulgar and yet can be blocked all at one time..Since when does a so called Dom get a right to tell someone to do something and have no idea who the person is they are commanding.. Experienced too?? If you want my attention  then take the time to get it..my phrase be real or be gone stands.. whether Dom/Domme,sub/switch/slave  Be real ..Why play Captain Kirk and think it works it doesn't.. I been around too long to know a wannabe from a nevergoingtobe..I have my own list of those ..And please be at least old enough to spell and write....Too many kids here thats why I am going to go back to alt..At least people meet each other  here its like fishing  depends on the bait and tides..So once again I will post  another for new years. I have to work it too.later sere


    12/29/2010 10:30:34 PM

    I have a question: May be a stupid one but I will ask....When does a Dom spend time with his potential ? Is it when He wants too? Or if the potential needs him? or do they decide together when they will meet and talk further?

     I am funny about these things way back it was mutual The Dom stated when they met and they did no if ands or buts..

    Now its like waiting for the income tax return to come ...Its like they come online to torment you (Doms) say I miss you or want to see you thats that not until another week do they even come back online at all. I was talking to someone and met them in person but yet nothing more.. He can online said I miss you and want to get together but never made any attempt to do so just words. He wanted to collar me but I had to allow him to cut all my hair off..We only met once and talk only online I ask why should I rush into it..Then I found out the obvious .I will hold back from stating ..Just because I am talking to someone does not mean I want that person..If he can't take the time out to come and talk to me in person more than two hours we did,then forget it.. In any relationship communication is what make tat relationship any relationship. I am not a mind reader and I will not assume anything.If I donot know something I don't need to know about it..Why can't we just meet talk  if it takes all day or night and no I don't mean anything else  just talk..Damn its all part of the play scene,if I don't know about something how will I play I won't.. I have to feel comfortable and trust that person to do anything to my body but first I want to know the safe words or techniques used and items as well. Maybe I am old fashion but I don't like quickies and not know someone is just that a quickies ,last for 5 minutes of chat thats it.. So maybe one day I will be able to find that one  but until then I will keep my hair and common sense.. smiles.. Mary


    12/27/2010 3:38:15 PM

    I feel much better and clearly better since I vented earlier..I am getting emails daily about 20-30 emails here and they all say the same thing I love BBWS.. Now this is sad.. If thats all you feel and desure there is a website  for bbws  called bbwdating.com they have many there everyone is i think 200-600 pounds .. I am overweight by 80 pounds  because its winfter and I need some one to help me shed these pounds with. Not saying anything else about that.. I hope everyone is staying warm and healthy notuing worse than a winter cold or flu.. I live in Orlando Florida about 2 miles from Winter Park area.. I rarely see anyone that close to me but if I do they are alot younger than me age should not be a barrier but with me it is I have a son who is 31 years old and I started being with someone who is 21 or 25 well that would be a bit premature  lol.. I don't date that young ,nothing wrong with that age I just not a Domme lol.I prefer someone  who wants to have fun and enjoy the lifestyle behind out doors our way..There are a couple things I would love to learn and NO I will not indulge what they are its only for the One I choose to know and its safe and fun and personal..I think we should get a group together (small group) and do things, not sexually, but in the lifestyle like go to munches,maybe travelling,doing things like camping,different things later on in life.. Maybe too much but just a thought. I did go on a retreat once and it was great we all stayed in tents had free food,singing, bonfire nice.Sometime Gators Dockside  have poker nights for men and women meet there and enjoy life and times together. Sounds vanilla huh well the lifestyle is just that vanilla with kink. All safe ,sane and sensual. Just thoughts I been having for last two hours I wanted to share. I even love salt-water fishing as well,cleaning fish,catching them and cooking them ..love it all...So have a great evening everyone and stay warm.. serenity


    12/27/2010 10:47:15 AM

    Ok I am going to have to make an appointment book.. People want to meet me so why do you  do so.. I have Thursdays and Fridays off.. and Mondays ..Let me know what day and where and we'll meet.Lets quit playing games with times and dates and do something.. You say phone I say meet me.. You say maybe, I say do it ,I am not Dominant but with these games played it wouldn't be hard to become such..I am so damn tired of these game players. They say this or that and do neither..I am not going to play tag..IF you have someone in your life (spouse,wife,g/f) leave me alone..I will not be second in anyones life unless you have a child or two or dozen they always come first in a couples' life.I have played these cyber tag games emails,pics,and phone I am DONE with such. 2011 is going to be my last year alone. If you can't handle your priorities and be what you say leave me the HELL alone. You are disrespecting me when you email me everyday saying you miss me and yet, you have a life with someone else that means You  lied to me, when you said you had noone else in your life.I WILL NOT ruin anyones' marriage,so stay with your partner and take them to dinner play with the kids ,hell have sex all day along in bed but donot get up out of bed email me say I missed you and we will meet again soon.  I will not meet you ever again or talk to you again..Why because when Christmas came you were gone with no email,phone call or anything so You made your bed now lay in it..That is NOT love or caring about anyone.. Yes I am upset but this is due, past due..With all respect intended I will NOT play games with anyone''s heart, don't abuse mine.. IT is not hard to meet someone for coffee or ice tea or go for a walk along the beach or  just go to a park and talk.. Not hard to do.. If you honestly want to meet someone please be honest with them  let them know you have someone else in your life also and you live with them,don't lie say no  and ignore the one you are supposely be with..Make 2011 the year to remember the final Chapter to your life,final step to happiness stay or make that attempt..We are all human  and grown(some are minors too here) COMMUNICATE OPENLY OFFLINE and meet..I do apologize for my temper but it upsets me when people lie so much and believe all they say. Sad but I know who to ignore and who to meet and I will complete my journey, will YOU?


    12/26/2010 4:08:33 PM

    yahoooooo I get two more days to work now I can make enough to pay my bills..plus have extra. Finally . Bossman and Bosslady called me told me I have two more days added because I did so god Saturday for Christmas making over $6,000.00 for deals for them. Oh I am in to vacation sales and I sold  more than anyone Saturday so I get two more days added. I am so glad I was depressed because I had no idea where my bills were going to get paid all I need is 400 a month and I am covered if my electric bill doesn't sky rocket like I think it will thanks to the cold weather this year so far.. Anyway I wanted to share the great news I am finally where I wanted to be xcontent and happy now no more worrying ..Now I can work on other  projects now.. Nt counting the at home program eiother I will be above most that do work in the company I love 2011 its going to be the greatest year for me..so far.. Maybe it will be completed in time. I just have to wait and be patient and I can do both very well. take care Mary aka sere


    12/26/2010 1:44:57 PM

    well nothing happened at work today no deals nothing so I left early came home and  did nothing. It is high 46 degrees here right now and going to be 33 tonight ..To cold for me but I get to sleep in this week since I work only sats and suns..Not my idea but hey I have a job still . It will get better in January whehn I start working from home..Meanwhile where's my blanket of love.. This is when two people should be cuddled up watching tv,or making history together.. I have all week off work and noone around  to even get the chill off. I will suffer oh well no I am not begging to be with anyone just mentioning the fact I have noone .Oh well I willl subdue and be happy as it may be cold outside  I have a electric blanket.. So who is without whom... LOLOL be well and warm   serenity


    12/25/2010 5:36:23 PM

    Hello and Merry Christmas to A/all and a Happy 2011..

    I am due to write in my journal today so I wil post what I may..I worked today for Christmas  and will tomorrow to.. I work only two days a week until  they say I earn the right to work 40 hours.. Which is BS..I came home and send several emails.. One I loved ,One I blocked and One well lets say is vanilla purely..I will handle each as I like.. The one I loved was short and sweet and kind and very respectful,The one I blocked well lets say had no idea what he was talking about because he read things that weren't really understood right...The other plain to the short point how are you doing.. First I want to address reading profiles and my journal and everyone eleses writings..Unless you have spoken to the person donot judge U/us.. Being online is the worse way to communicate and I fiond it hard to even try to understand.. You have to call the person know what they meant by their profiles or journals then you have every right to say whatever you want I guarantee you it won't be the sme as you thought beforehand..IM the person in yahoo (Idon't use) or hotmail I do use and ask them privately find out what you need to know if tyou don't you may lose the best person you could of had in your life.. I donot believe everything I read if I did I would of been Queen of Scotland by now..All I ask is never assume anything it only makes a ass out of U...With all respect this way of enjoying life is  just that.. I don't want to be slapped around or beat up everytime  things don't go right ..Like I stated I am also vanilla I  don't expect you to be disrespectful to me just care and love me. You are like a Tree,I am the gardener I wil take care of you make sure you are watered ,feed and safe. I am also in D/s but is only shared when I have found the appropriate partner and  Know I can trust and know He would never hurt me.. The lifestyle can be ours ,our way and enjoyed many ways  as we see fit we are not the other person who may be  a sadist But I will respect them because of their kink..Because it is their  way of enjoying their lives as they see fit.. Confused yet I am lololo so I will stop..be well and Happy in the new year I will be..


    12/23/2010 6:51:07 AM
    I received an email this morning telling me they read all of my journal entries but yet it doesn't tell him about me or what I am..I am honored that someone took the time out to see who I am ..Who I am, I am shy at first but always honest and can be a pain if I feel I am neglected. I have a strong will to succeed in things you want or we both want..But over all I am human. No matter either sub/slave I been both and if I am to forget my past, am I too forget what I use to be?.. In my opinion I am, because whomever choses me will form/mold me to what they want,I will follow and agree ..If you want love they will receive love as such as I will need as well, I will agree.. If you want vanilla time I would like as well ,then so be it..NOONE lives 24/7 I mean NOONE.. Our lives are put as they are now as we made ourselves comfortable its up to me to fit into your life as seems right.. What I want is simple:  honesty,trust,your mind to help make decisions with me,love,respect and above all communication..I donot want you to be in my dreams I want you to share them with me..Its that simple.. I don't take abuse,scat,kids,cutting,needles or any type of bloodsports done that, or even another woman in my life and hopefully not in yours as well. There are several things I want to try and some things to do with your guidance . I may be 54 years old I donot look it or act it far from it.. I am Native American and Italian strong spirited woman who needs that strong spirit beside her.. I would love to wake up next to someone and know my heart trusts that person and know I will be safe with him forever..Sounds vanilla maybe, some if it, but not all.. The binding,gagging,whipping,toys and things in the lifestyle are just that in the lifestyle to our entertainment as we want to experience with them..Don't tell a stranger you never met hey I want to gag you or bound you it won't work its cyber words.. Meet the person,take them out,help them to relax with you as you would like to do as well with them..There's no hurry nobodys' is going anywhere as you see I am still here..So be patient let time do your bidding for you.. It works..This is me about me all me.. sere

    12/22/2010 6:59:53 PM

    I had my meeting finally and I am right now thinking about everything that was said ..It dawned on me what happened last time.. I put away old and start with new..Is it possible to forget the past and believe it never happened in my past  life ? My experiences bad or good either way I am to put them to bed and forget them..and to learn to trust again or for once in my lifestime can I? Can I believe Him Can I put all past behind me? All these questions I ask myself  not just tonight after my meeting but always  ...Can I be the best I can be ? Can I be as expected?

     I cannot answer these questions I donot know.I will not lie and say yes to anything yet..But tell me if you can't trust the One you're with, who can you trust..

     My meeting went well but I was shy and quiet,thinking inside my head fighting my emotions,fears,thoughts...There were times I could of broke down and times I could stare into his eyes ,wondering. Breaking down would of made me weak so I kept my composure straight.. As we left we held hands a feeling I havern't felt in so long but yet I kept strong. I felt there but yet unsure because my heart kept hiding behind its walls..I tried to let the walls down but would not allow them to fall. So it may take longer but you have to understand no Master has ever owned me or collared me,because of my heart..It was battered in the past never allowed to show any type of emotion for 14 years  nothing shown as a child this is what I learnt this lifestyle,now as I am older I am grown and now wanted again,can I do it again can I learn all over again to trust,or even love another ?? Time will tell so wil my heart.. If its meant to be it will be..I have to want it bad enough to believe in it again but can I?


    12/21/2010 5:34:12 PM
    My meeting never happened yet.. I m going to give it another try...I hope everyone has a great Christmas mine was cut short due to my job they reduced my days and hours I am only working 2 days a week now so My Christmas was cut short .So I didn't buy a tree or buy anything my bills had to be paid first..Its sad when you work so hard to be the best and get demoted to the worse.. Been there for 4 years in 2011. Sad I walked off there three times they called and begged me to come back  when I do this happens/.. So I am going to find a stay at home job I have a few leads  making some good money I just need some training to do this work..Anyway.. I have a friend I may visit for Christmas she is like me a bbw and friendless .I am looking to move out anyway but where she is is a no way in hell idea ..She is staying in intown suites  and they are very small....Valueplce is alot better,....Now I have to get my new job started to make some big money Its the same type job I was just reduced from ..Enough work.. Where is my Romeo???? I don't want to be alone for Christmas,Lets drink some nog and be happy lol..go to dinner or just find a fireplace and sit in front of it and enjoy each others company.. Oh well Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year 201111111111111111...

    12/12/2010 1:23:23 PM
    Since when does a man think if he sends me his picture of his penis it will turn me on?   It shows me he has no respect for me or himself..Some wannabes like that stuff I don't I am old school and find it disrepectful so keep the trash where it belongs ....So scratch that character from my list of  anything.. Being in the lifestyle is about respect to one another not sex... If you are in it for sex then find a XXX site this is not the one for you...I donnot show my body to anyone unless I am owned if that ever happens(I tend to seek reality not porn or artificial)...A persons body is like an altar to be sacred. If I see what a man has nothing is sacred it is open and used why should I look forward to our first time of giving my heart to someone who will NOT appreciate it..You fools seem to forget who makes who here..Not vise versa..I am the neck I am what turns the head...I make and complete my One I choose when that time comes until there noone is anything until they have found that place to belong..{#}

    12/6/2010 7:30:52 PM
    {#}Merry Christmas to All I hope everyone stays warm and healthy this end of the year.. I hope maybe next year I will have someone in my life who will share the next Holiday with me. I have to work this year always on a holiday,but they are my money days..So Be well and safe in love and happiness.. Make next year a more out-going and more meetings outside of the internet..Always with love  and Happy New Year 2011. always serenity

    11/29/2010 6:38:20 AM

    I am back again to speak my mind again.. I have had several wannabes email me and say things that I figured out was BS.. Just go away and leave me alone.. There are very few that are real and sincere here  please don't add. People say computer don't compare to flesh but where are your profiles and plus you're new here and have no idea what hornets nest you arrived in.. This is a giant players grounds..Like I stated so very few are real and most are nevergoingtobes. I donot know how many more times I have to say this..If you are real then add a profile a picture and read..If you red enough profiles here you will be able to pick out the real ones,words speak  about the person...I am unowned and have been for 6 + years being here noone wants to be real and won't be...I am usually in another older site meeting people I come here because I like to see the new arrivals and to let my friends know here I am ok and working 12 am until 8 am now... I am going to be buying homes and flipping them soon,I like to make something extra to play with and feel more secure.. I have alot more work to do. I been with same company for 4 years now off and on,but still being the best they have...If anyone wants a 8 days 7 night vacation package for East Coast or West Coast for only $298.00 let me know your accomodations would be free and yes there is a 60 to 90 minute timeshare tour,but heck for the free accomodations why not, for 3 destinations.. Thats my job but I work off the TV ..   Anyway I am not here to sell anything I am just here to speak my mind as usual thats why I'm loved and adored.. So take care always  and stay warm and dry .. sere


    1/11/2010 1:50:57 PM
    Love the profiles I read every day.. Some hoping others know what they are and some just don't know what they are talking about,but I never seen anyone accepting of just anyone..All picky and narrowminded only in one direction..I am going to ask what has happened to the lifestyle??? It has really gone  to the dogs.. I am not going to post for a Master/Dom not here I am finding noone wants reality because they are too choosy and some would rather have a minor than a adult.. My Goodness this is bad..The real ones have left and went on with their lives  and aaaare living as the lifestylers should.. This is not a lifestyle its a site for horney men who wants  to well I won't say the word..Now I know what is happening..Wonder why noone ever met me from here Im too old lololol..and smart..Oh and this isn't me I am far from being modest and I donot have a ego  like most.. I just wanted to be happy being all I am and loving all I can.. But now I see alot of things.. I will start a job tomorrow so hopefully maybe a vanilla man will know what he wants and be more accepting.. Have fun in a cyber playground of make believe Lifestylers...

    1/2/2010 6:13:44 AM

    Happy 2010.. I hope this year will bring me my last hope.. I will leave collarme if ot after this year.. After 8 years here it seems something would of happened. I have a game player so called wannabe Master playing games with me, and then I met one who slapped me for no reason on 1st meeting,and folks thats it..I will be going back to alt and stay there at least I met several and always something to do there.. People call it a losing site but I find it more out-going and sincere in some ways and there's a place people can write reviews about anything ,I know there's a messageboard but yet people here get out of whack when someone doesn't get the Queens right hand or Kings so I am open-minded and open spoken  so I made my mind up unless a miracle here happens this year this is my last year at this site.. I love those who care and respected me and my words and enjoyed reading my journals but there's more to life to writing and reading.. I am a sad woman with noone in her life and she needs that person to make sure she stays strong and on right course. She was laid off in October and she needs that focus to get back on track where she was going..I will find again one day util then Happy 2010 with hugs  serenity


    9/24/2009 7:59:25 AM
    Ok I had another topic to discusss also.. First NOONE IS my Master,so please refrain from saying so..WE have never met or talked on phone  and NO  you are not my Master..  Being a Master to me is someone who shows respect and considers himself gallantly and a gentleman,I would like to know this person inside out from his heart to seeing his eyes  from a picture..The one who Owns me will be the best of them all.. He will be the Nicest and yet firmest Master there ever was.. He would be like a Knight and shining armor..I know sounds like a fairytale but he does exist somewhere..I will know Him when I am approached,I will feel his words in my heart..His eyes will be of steel but yet soft as cotton..He does exist.One day I will find Him or He shall find I. I will everything He ever wanted and needed in life.I know He exists I can feel Him I will wait For Him. The distance will not come between us or anyone.We will become ONE and I will wait patiently for Him to write or knock on my door..    serenity

    9/24/2009 7:51:38 AM
    Well hello People everywhere.. I am sure many have been waiting to hear from me how I am and what I am doing? Wel I may be out of a job soon .I reported my boss for working the compnay for slave wages meaning keeping our bonuses in her pocket and outr largest amount of moneyu and going on trips everywhere and then telling us we need to work harder and make more deals. So I was tired of it and dealt with it best I could for 200 people as well. Its a shame you work on weekends and holidays and don't get paid for it hurts bad... I am a top sales rep and I made the most of all shifts and yet I got regular 40 hour pay. I made 12 deals on commission and got 295 thats it.. It hurts when my rent is upm and bills are up and can't pay them. So besides a job I will be looking to rel;ocate elsewhere i guess .. Its very sad I think.. I wqas raised as a slave and know about free pay for work but when it from a comopnay that is top in travel industry no not quite..So I am not worried people want me and asked me to work for them . I am use to making alot of money I trained myself to be smart and I am..So thats what is happening so when i go back to work I will see what happens. I been asking for a promotion  but been turned down so we'll see now..All the new people that are hired can't sell anything but get a higher paid job not fair and I ern what I work for ..And my boss weighs 600 pounds if that tells you anything else. So Friday will either be a bye or promotion day for me.. I will let you know either way.. be well sere

    9/14/2009 10:22:07 AM
    Ok I have Mondays and Thursdays off .. I would love to meet someone ,go to a movie and have a late night coffee  and just talk the whole night and finding out if We wikll click or not..If you like to have fun it will come out  if not then you would not be for me..I ENJOY LIFE JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE  HAVING A TITLE(DOM,MASTER) IS JUST THAT A TITLE,,, be YOU ,and not  be something you can't possibly be in public..But then many like to careless about the public and play their antics  with people who will just look at you and wonder.. So if we get to the title as we are fine but lets become best friends and get closer,first ...Geezz relax I am unhappy and you are unhappy lets do something and do it togeter.. Im not asking for marriage (no way)I am not asking for sex (unless we definitely bond in all compatibilities) just to enjoy life.. Want too or not what have you got to lose ? fun,excitement and meeting someone who doesn't care what you look like I am a BBW  and I worry about my image also so lets just have fun .. Know any goood movies..I can cook very well alsoo....talk soon I hope  serenity

    9/10/2009 11:51:16 AM
    I need to ask a question here and I would like to see how many will answer me.. 
    How Many Dom/mes want a dumb slave /submissive?

    I encountered a IM where the Dom/or? was intimidated by me because I was aware of the lifestyle perhaps more than He was...I really tried to get the conversation back to the innoccent style these wannabe slaves/subs act when they get a IM..I will tell you how much knowledge I have  about this way of life..There are two forms here D/s and BDSM.. Two different lifestles and yet both collide once in a while also..BDSM is more into the extreme of wanting to cut or scar or perhaps sharing the other with others who may be hungry to hurt or play.I am into the  more softer side where I want to walk side by side and help make decisions also..Sharing thoughts ideas and each others kinky side together in their own way..There are also a spiritual side as well where there are retreats to others homes grab a tent and camp out and yet share  their views and teachings to others.. So you see there are several sides to this lifestyle it is either wild and crazy and loving and caring each other .. Its respecting each others methods,ways and teachings.. I started out reading for a solid year bwefore any chats,chatrooms or anything else . I READ EVERYTHING. Then I went to a REAL chatroom that use to be in aol in which we met each weekened and plaayed if those people wanted too and we went to conventions to watch demostrations or just listen.. We make this lifestyle  what we want.. Protocols are made in your home with the two of you together not in a chatroom or IM .In RT ONLY.. When I say protocols people get freaked out because I know about them.. And they run away.. This is why I stayed without a Dom/Master..because very few knew what I am talking about and I intmidated themm. I am sorry I did but how can a sub/slave say they know what is expected  from their Master if they haven't done the reading and prepared oneself ...I lived it,read it ,and prepared for many years to be available to go where I am to be ...So I am not dumb or stupid but if what I say scares you then you better do your reading and be prepared or just leave it alone because if you haven't lived it in real life then you may not be ready ever to do it.. Always In SSC.. always   serenity

    9/10/2009 5:39:44 AM
    Well hi
    I made enough money for the company to keep them in business for two years .. Nice I made  11 deals and thats great money..But what I get paid and what the compnay gets paid is two different numbers.. They make more than me of course.. I may be still looking for another job because of they way they do pay people.. No matter how much commission I make or anyone else they still shorten it so they get regular hourly instead bad for the company but worse for employees. Meanwhile I stated I was relocating, I am not .. I have a job and cannot relocate untless its meant to be and a good meant to be.. I would love to still find that One person who is wanting to enjoy life  with me but I will hold off on saying what I want because its not about me is it ..? But I will always hope.. Have a great weekend and week  to A/all  serenity

    9/4/2009 3:39:52 PM
    well yesterday my second wish came true also.. I am happy finally and will be alot more happier soon.. I may be relocating soon..I will know soon if I will or not.. I was played by a wannabe who was in the past a player then. So nothing changed there. I will start my job Saturday 9/5-09 and I am nervous because there is some mixed feelings already there before I get there.. One of my bosses did not want me to come back but the main big cheeese Boss wanted me and  did call me yesterday to ask me to return..So I am nervous and I am not sure I will enjoy going back.. My g/f there who stayed said I dont want to go back because no sales and bad attitudes are going on..Thats ok if everything works out in a couple weeks I won't need them anymore.. I hope..I will be meeting someone in a couple of weeks and we get along on the phone and in chatrooms and I like him  and he is stable I don't care if he's rich or poor what amtters is he wants me and loves me and I also feel the same way. We will find out soon when we meet..So I am taking things slowly and making sure this is the right One for me...I will stay in touch for now..for a little while.. take care serenity

    9/3/2009 6:16:13 PM
    I will post how I received my job back after 3 weeks of a lay off.. I had been applying to every sales job I could find and waiting for a call or email and nothing this morning a friend who I had thought passed away a while back sent me something in the email .I will send it to you if you like  just enclose your email.. But I was low and very depressed and something happened. I swear this is no lie,it was amazing.. It was a picture of something formed in the clouds (it was a religious figure) and it told me to go down further and read the short stories I did and when I read them it told me to scroll down and make a wish it would come through  and I did and made a wish to get my job back and in 56 minutes I got the call from my boss asking me to come back Saturday..It was amazing and it honestly happened .If you would like to try it I will send you a copy of it just send your email address.. I promise its not scam or anything  with a virus.. I promise  but you will be amazed.. So now I have my job back after 3 weeks laid off..I am amazed ...So finally I can have what I want now and that is to be in my own place and have my own car and nothing else unless it has alot of love to give...maybe a new puppy or monitor lizard.. lololol  j/k maybe not a lizard...  

    9/3/2009 12:06:21 PM
    Guess what I am going back to work Saturday at my old job ...Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.. jumping up and down with joy.. I am not broke anymore.

    8/27/2009 9:17:51 PM

    i am no longer working I was laid off so I am looking again. I have to find something because my own son (29 years old)told me to move out. I moved in with him because I was in a auto accident in 2002 it was fatal for me.. So he told me I would always have a place with him BS..I keep to myself and donot bother him or his g/f (40 years old)so I live in my own bedroom on my computer and no man in my life. After I move there won't be any son either..After I rehabbed myself back to health and started working 2 years ago  he had asked me to pay rent and he wanted 200 a week so he got it then we got into a argument  and he told me he wanted me out a month ago I was working then but not making enough to move out on,so   I got laid off two weeks ago and here I am pretty soon homeless because of my son who could care less and I didn't rqise him up to be this way his g/f has alot to do with it  So I am looking for a job and a place with no money to move in with so Im looking for a darn bridge then. Oh wel he will pay and hurt really bad one day and I won't even be there for himm. Its hard to be in a lifestyle  and not be chosen but its harder to be in the lifestyle and your own flesh and blood wants to toss you out and not care. I never did anything to him just stopped paying him his 200 a week because he told me too and I do and he hates me and says I owe him 1000 now.. I can understand why people end their lives  because who cares..Well I am a survivor and I am a real slave 200% with a number and her sanity.. I have no car or place no job what else can I lose ,don't worry  it won't be my life I assure you.. I will make it one way or another I will make it.. This is what living as a slave  did for me  it taught me to survive and to live in pride not pity,shame,disgrace,or a loser I am and never be defeated.. I survived two car accidents  in which both cars were totalled (not my fault either time) I died at scene in last accident and first one the car caught on fire while I was inside of it.. So if I can handle that torture I can handle anything ... So don't worry everything will work out better than before I am sure.. Take care and never doubt life because as long as you're living things will fall into places when you never thought they would..This is called lessons of life.. be well Mary aka serenity


    7/14/2009 6:13:52 PM
    hi everyone:
    Just checking in to tell everyone how I am doing...
    Well I am working daytime now I was placed on 1st shift and I love it. In 3 days I sold $4000.00 in vacations. And I need to make 5 tomorrow deals.. So lets see what happens.. Life is always welcome to come see me its just I would like to find my knight on a white stallion  who will come and rescue me from work or even just to just rescue me ..I am just happier  but yet solo.. Why can't I ever get it together I mean get happier and get someone in my life....I always get one or another oh well one day I will be happier" or happiest...But life is going well and I have found a house to rent to be able to buy later on I have the option..Realtor said he would hold it for me until august 1 but after that if I don't have the first month and deposit  by then He couldn't hold it anymore..But I love it so dealry 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath 1 acre of property hugh yard and I just love it all concrete and tiled..Even a attached workshop.. and small storage room.. But He wants 200 now and $1100 by august first and I pay 200 a week now where I live now for rent so it may be too good to be true for me but it would of been my first home I could call my own..If its meant to be  I will have it if not I will be sad but one day I will have a place I can finally belong in...I hope.. So I hope everyone enjoys what they have because its not easy to replace it or buy it not these days. People tell me so many things but they only want to nake me not worry or be upset but I will be  anyway  ..Life isn't always nice but whoever said it would be easy to live.. I  didn't.. So enjoy everything you have  now.Its hard to replace especially love...be well serenity

    7/9/2009 3:14:25 PM
    Interesting why a couple would like to swing with a woman. Perhaps to liven up their relationship or looking for a toy to abuse and use then discard or maybe  to have sex with until they are done then their marriage is back on track again and they go looking for another woman...Amazing thought huh...Well I am not a playtoy for any couple and I will never touch another woman,friend or enemy never....You have to know what a slave deals with as she grows up to know and feel the hatred towards any female...and also receive that way to live for 19 years...Sad huh? Pitiful but that was all she believed in hate..She was 68 years old and full of hate 5ft4 or 5 and overweight  and had more strength than any personI ever knew growing up.. She ruled,bossed,and gave orders like a army sargent but strict..She made her own whips out of electric cords and tied a knot on one end and she used then instead of anything else they were her security her guards her strength.. That was my way of punishments daily. Her gags was wash cloths,her ropes was clothesline,her eyes were made of iron.. Hard to believe such a woman existed but she did and she bought me to make a slave out of..I never could cry,or whimper,or spoke,no hugs or love given not even a bedtime story read,I just grew up thinking people was like this so I never doubted anything I received..It took years after she passed on that I found out she ws adiopted too and treated the same so this woman who bought me  for 3500 had been in same position I had been in ,alone and hated so she knew nothing more and received nothing less..Before she died,she looked so fragile and innocent,kind,asking for me and I went to her and told her " I Forgive You" and then turned and walked away and she died right there as I walked out the door.. She had waited long enough until I could I forgive her she was 91 years old..I walked out the door finally free and I smiled....  So this is what its like as a slave to never be able to go back but to go forward and make your life as YOU want it,make choices and live by then,whether good or bad we learn from our mistakes to stop making them.. But will we ever stop making them? No they will always be our way to learn how to live and even tho we try our hardest to have everything in life we will never have everything no matter how hard we struggle for it all we can do is strive to get there that is the hardest part of life striving to achieve,will we ever stop striving? I say No if we do then we will have lived our lives completely... smiling yes keep on striving and learning  one day it will all pay off...I am sure of it..  be well hugs serenity

    7/8/2009 6:01:16 PM
    My job has gotten better I think it seems I am enjoying working daytime hours first in two years.. I made two full deals in 2 days thats 600.00 dollars I sold in vacations so I think I am slowly getting back on top again.. So I am doing something right I think ..I have a few people who are upset because I am on day shift but oh well it was given to me because I was senority  level to receive it. I earned it. So hopefully I will be able to make my life complete.. I am going to straighten it out this week and I will have it in order...I will begin to start meeting people again and I feel good  that something will happpen right finally because I will have stability in my life with my job..finally.. So I asked for to find someone to help me get that stability but noone here could so I won't be asking for any stability I will have it already thank you anyway but noone cared enough to want to meet .I met one who was a joke and another who wanted to meet at my door and I don't meet anyone at my door or home unless I already met them and know them and feel comfortable with them.. Never assume to meet me at my home because I won't I been here I know what it looks like.Plus its not public or in a public place for everyone to see..I wasn't born stupid and I wsn't born a blonde(nothing personal tho blondes) My moments are only Brunette and my choice.. So enjoy life everyone I am going too son. I hope.. be SSC always Mary

    7/5/2009 9:35:29 PM

    Well MY life has changed again. Instead of nights I work during the days 8-4pm.. This is good but Im use to being at work at 3pm. So it will take alot of getting use too but I hope it works out.. They want me to bring them in more money so now I will begin here and work my way up to the highest unless I decide I don't want to in which not far from saying..I want to enjoy my life and not at work..I'm trying to meet someone and live happily but yet this job is getting more unstable and switching me night to day...
    I been working here for 2 years I guess its time for a change and soon..I don't think I like being the top rep when noone else can catch me.. But I will see what happens  this week and see if its worth my time and stress if not I can go elsewhere no problem,don't want too do it but I will if I have too. I hope everyone is doing great and their holiday went well.. I worked on it like I do on all holidays. For now.. smiling so good night and be well always  serenity


    7/2/2009 9:41:20 AM

    I am totally available to meet again anyone that is serious and sincere in enjoying life with me..I have met all types of people and none were  even close to being as they illustrate as they are in their profiles. Even if I feel once they have lie to me and played me I will walk away.. I had met one Dominant who I met twice and he thought he owned me by saying  what HE expected and wanted and he even said he wanted me ,but yet he was seeing other vanillas on the side.. And then he told me on a second date he wasn't interested in me because he wanted to abuse someone and make them do things like a dog does.. I am not a dog and will never be a dog.. I am a woman and will always be first a woman.. How hard is it to live life in happiness and enjoyment,only together..DOES  NOONE believe in being faithful and solely for only one person?.. That so called wannabe was not a Dominant and in my experience He acted like He was a male slave....I seen things happen and said and I just didn't do anything but listen. Thats how I know where a relationship will go too.. I don't want to know what your fetish is or desires I want to know you will be in a relationship till the end not for a day or two dates or a month or year.. For good!!! Why is it hard to find someone who wants the same as I do? This is why before anymore meetings I will ask questions and find a compatibility online by asking questions and using a phone..This meeting off line should be done  after a week yes but by then we should know if we are compatible.. So now its a new modern way for me and more definite.. If you want to be with someone make that commitment ,together if you can do so before meeting in a weeks time then that will make the meeting offline more desirable..Sure I talk to many online who throws kisses and say sweet things but thats cyber and I am NOT a cyber sub..I am REAL and will remain such..I am a woman first,then a best friend secondly then a submissive finally...


    6/29/2009 8:06:56 PM

    Hi everyone love ya all...
    I am back again I was meeting someone special but missed them by minutes or timing.. So we will attempt again.. The person I did meet other night well he told me I wasn't his type I told him he didn't need a female he needed a male slave  to hit on not me ever again..He is use to them. Oh well its gone in the dust and I am glad .. Loser and abuser..I know with my new friend he will be more of a friend and hopefully more I will only hope .. Sometimes when we try so hard to find that happiness it may be a bad time to do so.. I,myself have found myself rushing and I shouldn't I learned in the years to test and watch and listen above all...I being a World Poet should  be more patient and more serene,but sometimes that is interupted by thoughts,calls,others,100s of things to misdirect you..I received many messages telling me they enjoy my writings..I enjoy saying what is on my mind and venting and just being open all the time..I have a conflict at work now ,iT seems I try not to be prejuice and try to fit in at work with my Black boss and her brother  and friend I even went to their home for a cookout before work one day,,I tried never to judge people or put anyone down ,but recently at work I have had a feeling they didn't want me around anymore and I am the money maker for the team but yet I feel like now Im white trash in their eyes..I even did everything they did ,eat after work ,join them  and be their friend but yet I get yeklled at when something goes wrong even tho they get into the bad attitudes at work and I lose calls at work and yet they are allow to do it..Having a bad attitude causes you to lose your job..But yet I am the only one that gets reprimanded.. SoI started not talking to them and staying to my white friends  people they don't like..Now I am  doing my work but losing money because they won't close my deals on the phones,plus they fired a white girl also today our only closer..So I am looking to get out of there I can't stand people who are two-faced and have bad attitudes.. Shames too they confess about going to church every sunday perhaps they need a new church or another job where they can take over the whole teams (3 shifts)They can continue to be nasty and malicious. I won't be  but I won't be staying for long ,Promise you that.. So now I vented my downs this week hopefyuly my ups will be shown soon I can only hope.. So enjoy all you got  you never know when you'll lose it.....:)  serenity


    6/28/2009 10:29:54 AM

    Ok I met someone twice now and before a collar and contract in agreement signed  in anything He touched me and thought he could Dom me in a car.. I removed myself and left.. I want to say something about this ... Whether a slave,sub,or even a switch NOONE has any right to touch,play or even do anything before  two are agreement and a contract is made and a collar given.. I find those who wish they could have ,can't and won't have because of impatience and disrespect for the other given..Why because  They say they are but really arent try?? I ask myself this  every time I do meet someone and after a second meeting they showed less of being a REAL Dominant.. Shaem people like those will either hurt someone or themselves in the long run.. So I will stress  as a slave/sub  NEVER MEET ANYONE UNTIL YOU ARE SURE OF THE OTHER>>>When someone shows less patience and goes diving in and smacks  someone or threatens someone this shows DANGER..I started to see this  and I will not be seeing this person ever again..I will make sure on the First meeting a person is safe by asking more questions and watch responses to my questions.. I have another meeting coming up and I will let everyone know the details and NO not the same person.. So Please be SAFE  and SANE and CONSENSUAL. DONOT touch or have any contact until YOU BOTH are in agreement..and a collar is present.. Enjoy  life..and not selfishness.. smiling hugs
    serenity


    6/25/2009 11:53:15 PM

    I would like to say before I go to bed I miss those who use to write me and ask me for advice or any questions that perhaps I know the answers too.. Please feel free to always ask that is why I come here beside  to meet  people..Offline... All I can say is be honest and open on your first meeting, Keep your whips and chains at home on first meetings be yourself,be a friend first before anything else..You have to build a trust before any play or scening.. Just be open and share  your bad times with your best times with that one you wish to know more about..If you don't know that person how can you risk your life to someone  who doesn't care.. Don't play beofre knowing that person.. And please before any Play or scening NEGOTIATE what,when,how Things will happen what will be done and how they will be done.. There are negotiation lists to fill out before any scening please take the time to fill one out  the reason is ,is because of medical reasons,heart,high blood pressure,diabetes medical things that would cause either death or disability for life..Don't cause someone who is on medicine  to die because you didn't communicate or were too rough or made them bleed or even cut them up badly always let the person know what you are about to do before any play or scening.. The lifestyle is very serious and it can get out of control if not controlled.. So play  SSC always in love and respect and above all with communication...
    .serenity


    6/22/2009 7:07:20 PM

    I know my last entry was strong and pretty good to be able to put down my thoughts in on entry..I don't know anything else to mention.You release you gain back again there are plenty of wannabeusedups here and everywhere why not have feeling with one before you do decide make the last decision you make the last one you wil make,make it permanent. Imagine yourself with your potential on a porch together sitting watching the stars or in a boat on a small island alone ,toegther,doing things romantic and loving,together.. Together is my favorite word its perhaps the hardest for me to apply becaue I can't be with someone who would release me every five days or minutes.. I can't be with someone who would give what is his to another and not care what happened to me...What is so difficult of belonging to only One,sharing is ok if this is what you want many don't there are things  people do and say things that are totally different than what we read about or dreamed about or even hoped for. Nothing everything in the lifestyle is for everyone most are in the life style for the attention until they get cut,scarred,bruised badly then they ralize when its tioo late they were wrong..I know how I want to live I am tired of the domestic side of my life meaning for everyone else but myself and whomever I choose..I want to find a place somewhere ,that noone would know me,or cn cll me,or bother me..I want to live like this with my One whomever he would be.. Is this so wrong to be happy and yet have fun in many ways.The most important thing would be being together and sharing all things sad,or happy ,communicate  just do all your fantasies  one different each day,buy each other a gift after a while being together show the love and care..Read the Story of The Olive Tree that is my life as I know it and this story is how I would like to live the rest of my days ..Can this happen? Will it happen? With time and patience all things are possible if you have the patience to live it and believe it...


    6/21/2009 10:58:37 PM

    I know there is a Dominant Drop and Now theres a slave/submissive Drop...I will mention about this one time so if any notes are to be taken please grab a notebook ..
    There are many ways for a slave/sub to be dropped:
    Shes' s a liar
    She's all vanilla
    She's a cheat
    She is lazy
    She could care less about anyone but herself.
    She has someone  like a husband in vanilla life.
    She has no time to be a sub
    She will not be near her Dominant
    She messes with several Doms without the other knowing
    She just isn't a slave/sub or never been in the lifestyle
    She disobeys her Dominant
    She just hates her Dominant

    there are several ways to add more and understand more  but why have a sub/slave when you don't even have any idea what to do with one.. Since you can have sex all day and night long as long as you want it but that too gets boring  and after she is taken there is nothing else to enjoy because she is wore out and been used for your desires..So do you go on and look elsewhere and hope to find another by dropping the one you have now for a new fresh of meat to abuse,stretch it out of shape and just  look for more meat..Why the hell make the choice for another one when you could not handle the one you had.. You just drop the sub/slave without expanding the possibility of more exciting ways of playing the games, roleplaying,.. I recently was through a issue with my life I was asked to be with someone but yet we met one time in a Dennys  I had coffee and milkshake he had coffee and we talked for about 2 hours..The next day he told me he wanted me ,that was that until he turned around and dumped me I say dumped but really dropped me and wanted to stay friends I ask is this right can a Dom decide on someone without even knowing them 2 hours is ok but its not all there is to a meeting..I worked alot of hours and promises were never made I said once or twice  I would like to meet again after my job but it never happened again..I mentioned protocols and he got worried..I want someone who will take me and love me and honor me  but more than that I want to care for someone,love him be the blood that runs through his veins I want to be all to him and I would hope one day someone could be this and more..It takes a special Dom to have a special sub/slave. She has to be able to feel it in her heart as he would..I amy be a romantic but I am not looking for boredom I want to explore and discover many things I haven't and He would have to be very special and patient to do so with me..This drop topic is a bothersome topic and more careless one. Many are careless and many dont care about how someone would feel if they are dropped for me I take it as a lesson and learn from it and I did..But I am not dead  I will continue on with my search.. be well  serenity


    6/19/2009 10:46:53 AM

    I noticed something today I spoke about this earlier in one of my other entries here..

    I read these profiles and see those who have someone in their life but neglected to mention them in their profile I wonder if  players are playing and playing a fool and playing the field on their potential they already have.. To me this is not honesty or being devoted or dedicating. I can't stand a liar,cheater,or anything else that is disrespectful we all should know if you are in the lifestyle and have your one you want  they should be in their profiles mentioned or their profiles closed.. This is so wrong and hurtful ..If you are going to choose someone then let everyone else know you have been chosen or you have chosen or else go away and leave everyone alone . This is not a dating site  this is a lifestyle in which we lived and will live..If I find out someone is playing me there would never be a meeting and never be another word mentioned.I may have been a slave once in my life but I always be a woman first and I am not stupid..And foremost I detest LIARS above all..That is not a Domme speaking but a woman who has been played here many times  and in life.I did not come here to waste my time or anyone elses' I am serious so please be too..When you take anothers' life within your arms  there should never be another  to take that place so why advertise seeking another in your profiles close it or hide it it doesn't hurt anyone ,it comforts the other and makes both of your lives happier..And for the polys' be so but mention you are in profiles .. Thank you all and please think of the other person not what is in your pants first.  smiling serenity


    6/19/2009 10:16:23 AM

    Hello to everyone.. I wanted to say I hope everyones' days go well...
    I am not feeling too good today. I don't know why just that its hot and  I want to sleep all the time..Something is going on with me and I don't know what. So when I picked up my check my girlfriend at work saiud it may be a bug going around at work and since I am on the phone all the time its very possible I got someones' germs so back to wiping phone down before using...I found another job and I have a interview Monday morning on my day off so its perfect timing..Its farther away from home but I need to get something alot better..After I pay my rent this week I have 60 dollars left ,badddddd...So this job will help me catch up and help me alot and pay more . I have been offered jobs at work to work for their company but I didn't want to stay in same building...If I can make my 1000 a week again that would be a dream come true..I left there because  one of their checks bounced so I left..Hurt my bank account and I had to close it..So I wanted to let everyone know it ok to try but just don't give up.. WE all have patience make it a determation force inside of you and tell yourself it will get better and it will.. Just never quit..Once you quit ,you can't get back in  and then you lose your space or place.,for good......hug serenity


    6/8/2009 8:14:23 PM

    OK Happy Summer coming up and still everyone is running .. I only got one thing to say keep running and don't let the door hit anyone in the arse on the way out..   I think I will call this site Runners.com.. lolol I try to meet then they run away.. They say everything under the sun to please me but yet I am not pleased.. I was born to be a slave but its not my forte.. I am vanilla and D/s.. People who believe the lifestyle is beating,using,depriving another is wrong its not any thing like it.. We are a family of doers and being happy in achieving everything in life as We have . Its not feeling pity on one another it sharing ,meeting,living with another who is like Us..Whether Dominant or not its the heart that outshines that special person.. Its not the brutality or cruel ways.. I met a sadist once He was a blessing I had questions and I trusted him enough to have him show me as a demo..I had questions about what a sadist does or uses or even acts.. He showed me with  respect and trust given.. This is what life is its either giving and giving and hoping its returned and if it is then you know you made that person smile and happy.. I put my pasts away. I went on and lived and survived all I learned and I hope one day I will find that special one that will share His love and strength and above all guide me into the depths of being all he can be and show me he really does care.. So never lose hope  just know one day  you will be happy again just be patient it will happen.. be well and Happy   serenity


    5/7/2009 10:24:52 AM

    Ok its time to get off the pot and get into a real relationship.. Does anyone know what a relationship is? I seen so many have relationships only on line shame too because when the intimate times comes it cums,on keyboard,walls,floors but guess what you didn't need someone else to do it.. This is what many use as a relationship..Women well lets see after my years here,I seen drinks poured,lap dances,washing someones back and guess what its online only I know it really completed both parties fully(sure it did).. When will everyone grow up and BE REAL,Take it offline and in person? Can you?  If not leave and leave those alone who are looking and wanting reality. Quit playing head games and being losers.. I can say these things because I earned my respect here and everywhere else years ago and besides bold I am totally honest.. I have met several NOT from here from alt dot com noone here will meet anyone just play stupid games and get off on peoples pictures and phone calls. If you are ready to grow up and be REAL and actually want to be with someone and be involved in roleplaying and becoming happy in learning and being as you want then let me know I refuse to talk to anyone else who are PLAYERS..And I wil know if you are I have my ways and years of knowing ...This really pisses me off too when they have chatrooms for players and non-doers and wastes time and days of searching.. shame. Don't ever listen when someone says the other website sucks when it actually is real and will be so ....Some play yes but just some ..I met over 7 people from other site and when I try to meet someone here they run away or stop communication...Shame I may just leave here soon just because I am not here to play but to serve and be real and to love someone OFFLINE..so think about what you are doing here ....To play or be Real ..Like I said don't write me unless YOU are wiling to meet OFFLINE. ty have a great day Mary


    4/29/2009 8:25:54 PM
    ok I know you want my issue discussed . Many know me as I am and know I will speak as I feel.. I am a bold person .. And I read some Dom journals and I must say most if not 3/4 of them should grow up..And they are NOT Doms' they only want attention and show it by saying immature things like "I made a video and it has nudity I don't know if it will be shown".. Come on my Goodness who cares  if you want to show your manlihood off to children.. but heck I can't stop them..If you are here strictly for sex then perhaps make your own porn site.. We have children here and in time they will be found and their parents will be told..If they care or not not my buisness.. So if you are here to be in the lifestyle please be here showing respect and proper ettiquette and above all proper protocols.. I am so tired of people whinning because they don't have anyone or can't finsd anyone to sleep with..IT IS NOT about sleeping with women or men it is about a community that joins here and talks to each brother and sister here.W/we are family or should be and its sad when we can't be in a room chatting without a kid jumping, stripping in front of our respectful people who want to learn more or just meet for a lunch or even a private party..Shame what happened to this place I been here for 6 years off and on and still nothing has been done to stop the stupidity shown.. I am sorry for my harshness but its time for the REAL  members to speak up and I hope they will soon.. If not then we will always be split up and going no where not even to a munch or demo or anything with our own people.. Oh well I just hope to see changes  and hopefully noone will be upset for me speaking my mind..I will continue doing so, Maybe one day someone will learn and understand by my words.. Until then Take care hugs,, serenity

    4/28/2009 10:31:13 AM
    I have a real issue to use but I have to go to work so look forward for my issue stated tomorrow my day off.. It will be good,I promise.. I have been a real slave all my childhood and in my teens,then I was a learner then I became a teacher,.I am loved by so many everywhere even at work when I miss a day at work I have flowers sent,,food cooked and brought over or a email or even a call..When I am at work I am respected because I am what so many cannot be REAL,BOLD and HONEST..If you read all of my journal entries then you will know me..Because each one is from my mind and eyes,heart and body. I can only be me to pretend to be anything else would be a lie..The D/s lifestyle is a way to learn how grow up. You have to learn to face pains,loves,reality and when you are able to bring it all out in the open then you will have become an adult......
    Take care work calls!

    hugs serenity 

    4/26/2009 11:38:16 PM
    hello I am here for a minute I have to stress something very important.. To those who think they are brutal and strict and yes use the word sadist. I been demoed by a sadist and no the word is not harshly used..Its is a gentle formused by a Dom who cares and understands what his potential need and wants. I was raised up by a person who was a control freak and one who cared if I bled to death or not so don't use the sadist word as a strong word to worry me with, because I am farther from such a word being such.. Be whatever you pretend to be ,but donot ask me if I need to be beaten or bloodied  you are  many many years toooooo late..I am the real and last deal here or anywhere else ,many know me in real life as what I am, I am..REAL!!!!

    3/7/2009 10:40:47 AM

    Hi al I am here and gone back and forth.. i WORK ON WEEKENDS AND OFF TWO DAYS DURING THE WEEK SO MY FUN DAYS ARE LIMITED i GUESS UNLESS i ASK OFF. SO WHO KNOWS. i LOVE MY JOB AND OF COURSE ONCE AGAIN i AM THE BEST THE COMPANY HAS SO i AM MAKING GOOD MONEY AGAIN .. opppp S SORRY CAPS lololl. Darn things or fingers lolol. So I will keep in touch ..I work for info-mercials off of tv and radio so I am doing great, making at least 15 deals a week which is commissioned as well as basic pay. So life goes on I am hoping to reach my goal when I do I will try to advance to great things .. hugs take care and miss everyone... serenity aka  Mary


    2/23/2009 8:28:03 AM
    hello my dear friends who come here to read my entries into my journal...

    I am going back to work on Tuesday the 24th of Feb.. I was wanted back so why not.. I am not making anything now so why not break the bank again..lol.. I made one person a millionaire hopefully I will be thought of this time if not oh well its a job..After 4 months of nothing but attempts and trying to find a fit into something I want to do and will enjoy doing it. I am going into television now...So maybe it won't be so bad but hey they called me back.. I will enjoy it and know money is in it if I work hard enough in it.. So my sales days will be getting better and more positiveness.. I hope . Will see. I will be working 4pm until 12 am so I won't be on as much until I get my days off arranged..So I will keep in touch and let my friends know how it goes.. Taker care and enjoy life as it comes before you. You only get once chance with life . Take it wisely.. smiling   serenity

    2/17/2009 12:49:51 PM
    well I read many things here and yet never been subject to verbal slutty talk from a Dom (so-Called)..You want a slut pig go to a farm and find a sow who births 19 piglets at one time,you want a dog well go to animal society they have many you can adopt for your own...You want someone who will be bi sexual well honey go for it I am not the one.. I love meat too much.. And I am not talking artificial meat either.You want respect then be respectful to US the slaves/subs who make YOU...You DONOT make US....Some here have seem to foget  what WE represent...WE(slaves/submissives) respresent your life a part we will become if we chose too..But by damn be as if you are worthy enough not dirty and nasty and hateful .because we will not look to you for anything.. So be prepared to be ALONE..My Goodness hasn't anyone taught those who don't care how to care yet.. We are not going to degrade ourselves to feed those desperate asses who can't wipe yet.. I will not be a pig a dog or anything bi sexual to anyone. I am myself and I shall live as such. I know its every mans' dream to see two women have sex but honey look at it this way when they are done see where they go home too....I been in this lifestyle way too long to not know what is involved and I have dealt with many things  concerning it but lets be real and natural nothing can make a human a pig or dog and cloning hasn't reached this state yet, I hope .. So look elsewhere for your animal fetishes . I'm not home... lolol. be well serenity

    2/16/2009 5:00:02 PM
    well stil no job.. Disturbing in a way but then its not my fault..But yet I will have to take whatever I can find now because the government is to tight on their purse strings. Maybe I will start my own business I ran a office cleaning job long time ago on my own and did very well but then it got to where the transportation I had blown a gasket and I couldn't get another one so I closed shop.. So now I could do various jobs  from online selling items like ebay to cleaning homes or maybe babysitting.. Geezz what we have to do for money .. This is bad. I never had to humble myself this low before but i learnt from this lesson in life.. So I will keep all in tune with me
    and my situation.

    2/11/2009 6:54:15 PM
    Happy Valentines Day  with hugs and love  serenity


     

    2/3/2009 7:26:56 PM
    well hopefuly good news I have a interview Thursday morning so hopefully I will begin.. I am behind in rent and bills and I will not ask for help. I will take care of my situations myself.. I been offered help but I said No Thank you.. Sometimes I go through trials to learn things if I do go through them myself then the purpose of them is shown to me. If its meant for me to be homeless I shall be and I will learn from it,if I am to do without something then its not for me to have. I do all I can do and I am watched  and shown a better way to cope with the problems always..People are atheists but I been there and seen what is in store ..I learned as a child never take anything for granted because usually it never happens but if by chance it does then its a blessing and a great welcome to me.  I love people and I love life,its not the people that make things awful its because its what was taught/shown to them that makes life as it is to them. We all can be better teachers and examples why not be for all to see and know.. Life isn't going to wait for things to improve its' up to Us to make them better and more able to cope with.. We work now for pennies I mean pennies.. We may not know how to do a certain job but we want to learn how ,its like the lifestyle people want to learn to live within it but can't.. This is a lifestyle that is embedded in a person,its like a brand you wear,it never leaves you it may scar you  but it stays in your heart.. Its beautiful but also a way of living and growing and above all learning to be whatever we want in our minds.. We can be whatever we want out of the lifestyle.. We can become policemen or doctors,or even artists all it takes is determination and drive to do it. Tell yourself you want to be something and do it.. But make sure you want to do it that way you will enjoy doing it in which will make it alot more easier to accomplish. Now in the lifestyle men are Dominants yes it was meant to be and womenwere meant to care for the man/Dominants that made us submissives and slaves.. Slaves was given to women or men who wanted someone to care for them take them under their wing and teach them about trust,honesty,labor, that began and ended  into later on them being Dominants because they learned to be through hard work.. I can teach alot more because I been through it and learned from it. Thats why I never ask for anything from anyone if I can't earn it I don't need it. So now I must learn a new lesson from My watcher above.. Being in the lifestyle doesan't make you a saint it teaches you to be humble and honorable and respected in some cases. Some cannot be respected  because of mans' protocols/laws..They are broken and disregarded from abuse,death,torture.. But then thats included in being in this lifestyle.. Death comes  from forever,and always and staying and honoring taking care of The Olive Tree. always .. So I wanted to say take care of yourselves and be what you want to be it may not be or may be easier than you think just try.. Make the money,and help others. I have all my life but then I have a few more years left to improve doing so and I will .. Be well and happy and  S S C       serenity

    2/1/2009 3:10:28 PM
    Still job hunting and nothing has even came close to what I am seeking. How hard is it to be a sales person? Anyway I hope maybe this week something comes along if not oh well I will keep looking.. I hope everyone is fine and all is well for everyone..I have no Doms in the picture may never ,but then thats another job. I will keep looking hopefully someone will take me serious.. be well serenity

    1/28/2009 6:04:14 AM
    My job fell through so I am looking again but I am happier though. I will continue to look  and have a few offers  so we will see what happens next.. I hope everyone is fine and I will be staying around.Everything is fine once again and sometimes it helps to vent your feelings out  but never vent on someone you love it will effect them and your relationship..Like a scar it fades somewhat but never is forgotten about..So have a great day and take care serenity

    1/19/2009 2:55:03 PM
    Its nice to get emails from people but these questions and time isn't helping me  to where I want to be or where I should be.. I have been talking to a couple people but none were wanting that instant person in their life.. Aren't slaves suppose to be quiet and wait to be beckoned? I thought so so what is up with all these questions I think its a waste of time asking same question time after time,what do you want,what have you done,will you do this or that? My Goodness I am a slave  I have been there and done that IM 52 years old why question my position when I have done it.. Are you afraid to take that step in collaring someone or taking possession of someone or just scared  of it all? For your information  sex is not  something I do or prefer instantly it is a private and consensual part of life.. If there is a connection or compatibility then donot worry  time will come to that if this is what is desired but only in time..Or  who knows what may happen I love time and it tells all..Take care and stay warm I will try too.   serenity

    1/12/2009 11:23:46 AM
    My life is turning around finally. I have found my job of a lifetime and will begin Wednesday..
    I found another job but I didn't feel comfortable with the job so I left and found this one next day. It jumped into my lap making my life happier..After next week I am hoping all is going to be perfect and on a stable line..I will be off on weekends so I will meet those who are willing to meet..But You have to be willing to do so..You know I just had a thought what it would be like to have someone from here or anywhere  would come to my door and sweep me away.. Just a second thought thats all a fairy tale ending but thats all it is I guess a fairy tale.. I can dream and hope but I know the difference in reality and fantasy.. smiles take care and enjoy the day..  serenity

    1/9/2009 8:53:12 AM
    I see people who send me messages they think they can Dom me by saying rude things and no it won't work. I am a slave /submissive and can be at times a Domme but by choice I am a real slave.. I find those who send me rude messages are as immature as they are(messages)and will be blocked and kept from speaking to me again.. No I am not a switch can't be a Domme but some people could make anyone a Dom/me..If those who want to bossy try not to be so bossy even tho its a so called lifestyle site but its mostly a dating site from what i seen in last 4 years.Just relax and speak to people as if they were your friends not like they are trash and dirty.. I will be on here less as I begin my new job tomorrow (Saturday) so I don't know my schedule for working or days off if any..I will return but with  no intentions on meeting anyone until I know more about my job.. So if anyone is serious and would like to meet please email me and I will see what I can do  to meet you.. Thank you and be well to all of my friends ,, serenity

    1/7/2009 4:29:42 PM
    I WANT TO SHARE MY BIGGEST GIFT TO OFFER. I FEEL THIS IS THE BIGGEST GIFT AND THE MOST PRECIOUS ONE.  A SUBMISSIVE HAS MANY GIFTS NEVER JUST ONE OR TWO OR EVEN 5 OR 10 IT IS CONTINUAL AT LEAST IT IS FROM MYSELF. I WROTE THIS ARTICLE TO EXPLAIN MORE OF HOW I FEEL EVERY DAY.   



    A Gift of the Heart



    It’s easy to take our feelings for granted and to assume that the people we care about know how we feel about them. But while those we love are often quite cognizant of our feelings, saying "I love you" is a gift we should give to our loved ones whenever we can. Letting people know you love them is an important part of nurturing any kind of loving relationship. Few people tire of being told they are loved, and saying "I love you" can make a world of difference in someone’s life, take a relationship to a new level, or reaffirm and strengthen a steady bond. Everyone needs to hear the words "I love you." Three simple words – I - Love - You. When you declare your love for someone you admit to them that you care for them in the most significant way.

    It can be difficult to express your love using words, particularly if you grew up around people that never expressed their affection verbally. But you should never be afraid to say "I love you" or worry that doing so will thrust you into a position of excessive vulnerability. It is important to share your feelings with those that matter to you. Part of the fulfillment that comes with loving someone is telling them that you love them. Besides, love exists to be expressed, not withheld.

    If you love someone, let them know. Don’t be afraid of the strength of your emotions or worry that your loved one won’t feel the same way. Besides, the words "I love you" are often best said to another without expectation of a return investment. As each one of us is filled with an abundance of love, there is never any worry that you’ll run out of love if your expression of love isn’t said back to you. Saying, "I love you" is a gift of the heart sent directly via words to the heart of a recipient. Even though it may not always look that way, love from the heart is an offering that is always unconditional and given without strings attached. That is the true essence of the gift of "I love you." CAN YOU NOW UNDERSTAND WHY THE HEART IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ORGAN IN YOUR BODY..THINK ABOUT IT ,DAILY AND FEED YOUR HEART WITH ALLN THE TRUTHS AND LOVES YOU CAN..I WILL AND DO.. TAKE CARE SERENITY


    1/7/2009 2:12:30 PM
    I am back at home now if you want to taLK OR CONTACT ME PLEASE THEN EMAIL. I am available ...

    1/6/2009 7:09:39 AM
    My first New Year entry .. I wsill make it short and sweet. I found a job and start soon.. I will make more than most and I will have all I will ever need and more.. This is not my resolution tho,RG would of been but that hope was taken away so I will keep looking and I will start meeting all who bring my interest. But to meet there will be a compatibility to do so . I mean alot of communication and convincing to meet. I won't meet those who want sex ,Im not in the lifestyle for that I am in D/s because of determination and dedication always given AND taken in a relationship.... So alot will be determined beforehand. be well and REAL!! sere

    12/24/2008 10:19:00 AM




    MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!



    AND A HAPPIER NEW YEAR IN 2009!!!

    12/19/2008 5:26:01 AM
    No I am not taken and not even considered I was at a small point very small (a minute)but the seriousness behind a beginning relationship wasn't there and too many cooks spoil the broth so..My thoughts are back online and I will be in the shadows if One wishes to be serious and REAL.. If you play me I will find out and know just by actions..To be in the lifestyle as I am  being in D/s only you have to follow the rules.. communicate,meet and either be RT or offline to each other not with everyone else.. I don't like cheaters and will not stay and watch or wait.. I am a slave and I will be as I am whether you play me or play everyone else.. No I am not hurt by anyone  just fed up with the BS everyone is passing to those who are real if any of Us is still here..Be as you are not as you aren't .. Be real or Gone. Yes I am bold and to the point but that has earned much respect over the years and I will always speak my mind whether here or home or at a munch or anywhere. So looks won't buy you a free pass to my heart but devotion and dedication will..I look at pictures so I can see the eyes not the body,I don't care about the body I care about the eyes they tell the truths in all. So lets wait and see what is next to happen along. Don't even mail me if you aren't real and sincere. I have NO time for players and nevergoingtobes, not today or ever. So take care   hugs serenity

    12/16/2008 8:47:04 AM
    I have talked to a few here and thank you for the emails but why waste my time if you aren't going to be honest with me or yourself.. You are not Doms if you are looking for vanilla or wanting a partner for life sounds like a personal ad section being here.. I am not ordinary and will not be with just vanilla people. I been there done that hated it..There was no daring,no playfulness nothing just plain stupid fighting vanilla I am done with vanilla. I will say I believe in being both in public or at home but more  D/s at home..I am tire of just vanilla going to work coming home cooking eating showering and tv and bed.. BORING yes you may be tired but what about the other person are they maybe ,but then maybe not..I have been through so much BS in my life two marriages who they couldn't stay faithful or honest in any way..I would love to share my life with someone who appreciates and cares about me and won't lie about working late or going out of town him knowing he is going to cheat on me.. My last relationship was in 2002 and I was tossed out of a relationship of 13 years because I was in a car wreck ..and he felt then was a good time to say bye when I was laid up in a coma for two months..Guess it worked for him and me....I am alive and doing fine.. But what is wrong with a vanilla/D/s relationship? NOTHING. I would like to be out with my One and all of a sudden tell him to pull over and do it on the hood or get a blanket and lay on it watching the stars even  things that are impulsive and daring and not ordinary..Or cooking dinner  in nothing but a apron and having him make ME out of a tossed salad or spaghetti dinner I would love to wear a dinner like that then I would make him my Own Master Split.Yummy my favorite recipe ..So why waste my time doing same old same old. I won't waste your time either so why not try to be real. I am and always will be REAL..   SMILE

    12/10/2008 11:34:42 AM

    Hello again:
    I hope all is well.
    Life is what we make it . Whether good or bad we make it. I wonder why people even bother if they can't be sincere or even honest. Is this a game you like to play or is it a test to see how much BS we can take or believe..The holidays are coming up and if noone has a partner for the holidays  think about why,is it because they have someone in their life or are they married or attached in someway.. Come on girls grow up and get REAL. I read the guys saying they want REAL but yet they can't be, who is the weakest sex again?? hello I am real and I am unique,I have references and I have lived as I am for 19 years before being here on this hugh playground.. Don't think I am stupid I am NOT  and I have taught this lifestyle for many years but people seemed to want go ahead and live it instead of learning about it these days.. There are so many protocols and rules and yet who cares ? Think about this when the extreme gets too extreme who is going to feel sorry for you? NOONE...When you are raped when you didn't sign a contract or talk about it beforehand and use safe words before play who's fault will that be??..When someone is dead who is going to care or wonder or understand why they didn't do anything to prevent anything what happened because they were too smart or good to read anything and ask questions,NOONE will care.. Always ask questions ,read about anything you don't know about,don't do it unless you know the negative as well as the positive the goes along with knowing..And Doms use common sense and start using contracts that way its ALL agreed upon before owning and doing .. always .. take care serenity


    12/3/2008 9:31:38 AM
    Well this is more like salt-water fishing everyday. I get a bite then they either drop it or take off .. It don't matter it shows me who is sincere and who is full of BS..Yes I learned 15 years ago how to tell the difference in liars,fakes,wannabes and nevergoingtobes..And no I'm not saying names but I appreciate not wasting my time in emailing me if you aren't going to be serious and definitely wanting to meet or talk.. I am not working right now but I am not here to play games or BS anyone.. MY life is too real to be taken for granted by anyone..I am REAL and I will stay REAL..Have something to teach me then be a Dom and do so if not bye bye.. smiles..and its so close to Christmas too . Oh well maybe I will have a Santa Dom for Xmas..I do need a new bullet to  well never mind.. Thats my toy and only toy I do have ... smiling big take care serenity

    11/19/2008 7:37:27 AM
    well hello again I am back writing again. I am not working right now because of the company bouncing checks to their employees so I am looking again..First when I came here I wasn't going to be mean or rude but heck the first profile I seen  was so misspelled I just have too ..If you are proclaiming of being a Dom then get your home ready for whoever you find or are seeking.. Then either do a contract and finalize it or communicate your butts off.....Time isn't waiting for you or anyone else .. Make New Years a year to finally live and be with someone who will be all you want or seek..Don't bend lower just for sex it doesn't work after a while that reason runs out..So get it together and do it QUIT yakking and do it.. I want to see alot more profiles with two names in it. As for me I already know noone can keep up and be REAL.. I been here too long to know this is a big playground for kids so I stay in the shadows,.. But for those who find someone close to them go for it.. BUT BE SAFE SANE AND of course CONSENSUAL!!!..Happy Turkey Day to all..

    11/3/2008 2:48:59 PM
    I am in a mood noone would love to be in. I am Aries and I tend to vent once in a while.. I am looking for a job elsewhere.. I love my job but I hate to be mismanaged.. lol. sloppy ingrates..I apologize. My work making 1000 a week gets me sometimes when someone directs my calls coming in to another who makes the money while I get nothing..Bad..So I am looking for another job.. Then a gentleman I was seeing occasionally I told to get lost because he felt the need to cheat on me and letting me find out about it.. Love it.. No biggy I was just seeing him once in a while to talk or cook or rebuild computers. No sex involved ty. Nice to have someone to talk too when noone else is around.. Lord knows how many personal ads I placed and profiles on line. I met about 25 people but yet they were weaker than me in mind and spirit..So life goes on and so do I. I get so tired of trying to find someone who is as strong if not stronger than myself in thinking and deciding and applying .. Not many can or will to me shows laziness and who is older now?? lolol.. I love to kid once in a while now I feel better ty for allowing me to vent felt very good..So I am off and take care hugs serenity

    10/30/2008 7:42:16 PM
    Well not everyday a person emails asking to know more and disappears into the mist as He once came about in.. It happens and got my attention but yet played with my emotions and heart. Thats ok I won't play and will go on with my life as it breathes.. Sometimes  people tend to like to interrupt ones' life just because of boredom I take all emails here a sign of boredom and perhaps hornyness.. That too happens thats why there are more sticky keyboards than clean ones.. Cyber games  everywhere,nowhere else to go but here to the hugh playground of players and wannabes. Thats' life as it is and as it may stay,YOUR choice... I just hope one day someone will step out of the shadows and say hi I am real and be real.. Games stop with time and age. You're not getting younger and you definitely am not getting anymore happier without being REAL so when will you become real and when will you decide if it isn't at home it may never be until you step up and make life real and put the games aside and behind you as the trash becomes.. Let me know when you can be real and want to be happier and live as intended.....  in reality!!..

    10/27/2008 8:00:02 PM
    Don't worry no more negative.. I am working  back at my old job love it . And finally making what I deserve..Sometimes you have to grab things and just shake them to get them to work.. Well some things :).. Anyway I do hope everyone has a safe Halloween and don't drink and drive.. Enjoy and  be careful there are still idiots on the road and walking around.. ..I am doing great like I said I am working and trying to make my goal every week..Hopefully will to survive. Be well and safe  always  serenity

    10/23/2008 2:46:13 PM
    My goodness sometimes you want to scream.. Why do Doms have to be weak.. There are many who say they are Dominant but yet they need a mama.. Heck I can even be dominant can't I? But I won't and will never be..Or a mother to one..Sure you may have a fantasy but heck why not mention it in your profile here. Why wait until you get close to a person before relaying that bit of information..If I wanted a weak Dominant I ,hell no I would not..I am disappointed and sad that it has come to being weak. How can you lead being a baby/infant. It may be a craze or thing but if I wanted a sissy Dominant I would ask for a sissy sub/boi/slave..or mentioned it in my profile.. I said Dominant, not a child.. I encountered this and it saddens me especially when I re read their profile so many times and nothing mentioned about being weak in any way.. We all have our fetishes but I have none ,maybe fantasies,dreams but no fetishes...Sorry.. Its hard to be strong-willed and yet none compare to it or any I have gotten to know..One day it will happened I can only hope ,only hope....be well and REAL!!!   serenity

    10/20/2008 11:52:22 AM

    I know I mentioned a slaves place is in the home but I have No Master I have to work until that time comes I belong to One.. Meanwhile I am back at my old job making  alot of money again. My company closed down for two weeks and called me up at 8 am this morning and told me to come back and when I did The owner gave me 200.00 for my time until my check arrives. I thought that was great and made my day I am back finally,..I love many people and so very few things piss me off but I am in my right to be as I am until I find my One........I have talked to several but none seem very interested or interesting YET!! But I held my faith for 12 years looking will wait another 12year if that is what it takes...Its my Life and My choice Until  I can't make any more choices..


    10/16/2008 10:53:15 AM
    I read a profile asking for a slave but she or he has to have income outside the home . I find this stupid.. I am a slave and I made my living inside the home I ate and slept by cleaning and doing things everyday to make sure the home was well kept. But yet some wants a live in slave  but yet the slave has to step out of the home to bring in money to support her living arrangements.. This is wrong. If you want a live in then say so but if you want a slave then take care of him or her yourself. Pimping isn't easy is it? My goodness that profile bugged the hell out of me. I lived everyday cleaning floors,walls,doing laundry,hanging clothes up on clothesline every day and I was able to eat,go to school,and sleep I earned those rights and I worked from age 5 till 19 in the home making sure things were done properly just so I could eat and I made my own clothes for school,church..So don't ask for a slave to go out in the world and work her ass off for someone else and not you.This is not in the lifestyle or way to treat any slave..A slaves' heart is in the home and stays in the home..If you can't afford a slave then don't ask her to move in..and change your profiles.

    10/12/2008 5:45:17 PM
    Aww Intweresting to be called in a competition among men. Why worry being chose to be a friend first is a step towards being just that..In a world among men you do not compete you join in a class of being you..To a few being a man is a curse so they become shems..people trying to hide or finding a way to keep themselves protected from men or even everyone.  You are not a O Jockey if I find you to be my friend.. I find you intriquing and a potential perhaps not a man or bud or competiton.. You are chosen for my own reason. And it is up to me who I select to be a friend or lover or potential..I am sorry if you have a devotion towards another one or you are just afraid comittment or even try to be noticed.. There is no competetion only a place in my heart to feel where you want to belong or chose to be.. It takes TWO not one to be complete.. But first being a friend is not getting married its being a part of anothers life.. Good luck in any choices in your heart but realize if I don't care who will.And who am I,let's say I am many but never a Domme..That is a rather wrong direction for this one and a far path for many who try and fail...be well and happy 

    10/10/2008 6:19:27 AM
    A good day to those who care  a good bye to those who don't.. Anyway to those who care
    hi:
    I seen someone rather interesting online . I read His profile I find a rather split personallity with his words but yet interesting..He sounds mad but then there was a piece of him where he sounded rather intriguing..He emailed me  but yet he disappeared . He lives in same state but yet a far piece from my area.He seems to be looking for trust,and love but yet he is afraid to actually receive it and puts up a wall around his heart from what I read from his posts in meassageboards and his profile. Hopefully there will be more to read .I am doing great great job pays very well and soon my own condo or home and definitely nice car.I just started my job a month ago already I ran out of places to spend money lolol..So hopefully everything will be a true blessing fully deserved..We all deserve some kind of reward whether slave or woman or man or Dom we all deserve some kind of a reward. I will hopefully find a partner who will be the final achievement  in my life.. We will see. I hope ....

    9/9/2008 7:29:14 PM
    Sometimes it is amazing how much we seem to lose our focus that we are humans. We were born with no titles we earned them or was selected to receive them only by namesakes,not because  you were strong or wise just because its natural to be given such. NOONe is a Domme,Dom because there are no teachers,a Master yes back in 18th centuries  yes for slaves only,slave who had no place in live and was bought because  the money was needed they had no choice to serve it was what they did to live...Its amazing how people lost the sight of living and being themselves. I find those who play or pretend to play house or castle to be fakes and know nothing. I am real and the last real slave..I seen and lived as a slave and was sold and bought as such.. Life isn't just a mop or broom its using the items for making the One happy. We had no TV's so soap operas was a waste  plus there was no time..I worked before school and after school I always did my homework at school never home..Work was home I served to eat,to bathe,to have clothes made I earned that right to have such delights.. So to those who have no idea  what the heck they are doing or pretending to know what they are doing forget it..To be a slave it has to come from childhood not as a adult or teenager.. The Truth is never shown until actions are served..Noone knows what it is like to be a real slave and cannot find happiness  because you know nothing else in life to do. I clean and cook and take care of others its all I ever learned  it is not a choice its all I know how to do and can do because its all I was taught for 14 years..If you were real you wouldn't be playing around and messing with others or anyone in any chatroom. This proves there are no slaves because slaves never speak or write or even communicated to anyone it was forbidden and if you did true punishments were rendered like whippings,no food,no bed,nothing until it was felt it was enough tortured given. So feel free to play because  in reality it is not freely given,never..I will remain in the shadows and I shall do so until my time has passed because there is no Real life after servitude only appreciation and respect lives on..and a place where your name will be placed in stone.  be well serenity

    6/8/2008 7:49:41 PM
    Im still around but rarely here or anywhere else so I will delete my profile soon...I have no time for games and a empty life with noone in it..I see the gamers are still sround and even tho they change their names they are still players.. Disguises are not the same as being real.. Play the games and you pay the price. Just good luck and God bless even if you don't believe God.. Life waits for noone!!                 serenity

    5/19/2008 11:11:06 PM

    Well I see no emails and nothing anything important as in meeting or even talking.. Thats ok I am only real and seek such..I am still working and now longer days and  nights. Mostly nights tho as usually. I am looking for another job because this one is more into slavery than work lol.. And for pennies  they expect the world. Been there done that but for free  for many years so so time to look around for a more  organized and respectful position than being yelled at every night (motivation it is called) The whole work group is looking to leave as well so I am not alone only in heart and soul..So time for bed just got home and long enough to sleep and do it again...So night and have fun..


    4/13/2008 9:10:01 PM
    The hair is gone....So now I feel freer and more happier because of less  hair. I got it cut to right below my shoulder and looks good..Everyone loves it and i do too i will place a pic soon here.. Sorry for those who adored my hair but my hair didnt make me it held me down...Now its time to live again and meet more.. I am ready, but next is my weight i weigh 244 and going for it . The whole 44 pounds will be gone soon i hope.. Cross your fingers .. smiling later and thank you to those who wished me a happy birthday. IT seems every year I feel younger and now i look it ,almost (weight holding me down now..)Just wish I had someone who can help me  to get there..But most want to beat it out of me not going there,that would make someone want to eat more because of nerves or stress.... So i will get back soon again ty all again for beautiful notes.. I ,loved them..

    4/6/2008 4:36:26 PM
    MY BIRTHDAY IS THE 8TH of this month(APRIL) if you like to send me a greeting thank you . I will be working of course... take care to A/all hugs serenity

    4/3/2008 11:25:56 AM
    Does one care or does one even think? I almost but didn't because I could feel a bone  that could care less... Many know me for years to where I have taught Doms and others to feel and live and be what they chose in life to be but yet some people have a deep hurt a deep pain they were abused but cannot push it asiide and give to another  love,teachings,or even a hug in life.. They thibk everyone are dogs and should be placed as. I am a member of The Lighthouse,Mistress Steele in which I have known for years and I have my own site in which i have helped those to learn why things happen or how they are suppose to be. I was also asked to be a missionary across seas to help teach those over there but yet I am here still..I have been online  for 13 years now in June. I have had only two Doms in my life who meant the world  to me but yet health or obligations kept us apart.. I am a world poet (2004) I write daily things to help those who really care and want to learn.But above all I was a slave from birth till i  was 19 years old but only a domestic slave,a worthy and strict way to begin to live..I know some from the Lair in msn..I have went to  demos,conventions and munches and yet there is still something missing ,no  not a partner but a hunger,partners are dime a dozen (especially fake ones) but none genuine.. You want to know me ask me,dont assume you know me because you don't and may never know me..I am me and more .. just don't assume you know someone you may be surprise to find out the real one is the only one..

    4/1/2008 4:34:30 PM
    I went to meet and yet another wannabe standup .. DAMN!!!! I even took off work  to meet that is 100.00 I lost for nothing..A Wannabe is a wannabe if you want to wknow who it was just drop a note i will tell you so you don't go through the same bs..Only local only (Fla.) IF you have someone else in your life LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!I will not deal with people who have no future with me or even think a piece of ass will be a commitment because it isn't nor will it ever be. Once a cheater always a cheater..GROW UP and BE RESPONSIBLE and a man!!!  IT really pisses me off and i'm over half Indian(Cherokee) thaqt people use people for their own uses.. People are not gatrbage  and should be respected  nowhere the size or color.. WE all are HUMAN SO DONOT WRITE ME IF YOU CANNOT BE REAL!!!! and single!!!!

    3/29/2008 4:55:20 PM
    For those wishing answers I am sorry but I am unable to say anything because of my job not giving time off and lee way to even meet anyone. I have NOT been here and when i came here i had messages in which were old and I want to apologize to those who wanted answers but no there is NO man ..I am just working  alot and hopefully my work load will mellow out when more people are hired.. So when time allows i will write respoinses back but work calls again and im gone ty serenity

    3/24/2008 7:05:13 AM
    DO YOU know what it takes to be a Dom? or anything that has authority? The main thing is to be PATIENT...If you want to meet someone and they are having a hard time getting online because they work 5 and sometimes 6 days a week until midnight. But if you are interested and want to meet and talk to them then learn to have PATIENCE.. If its meant to be it will be whats really a bummer is when you live 2000 miles away and you say things to lure people into your life and  you CHEAT on them or play behind thier back,thats the COWARD way.. Most DOMS these days have NO patience and go do their wannabe shopping and find a replacement easy too.. Well if this happens to me I know what to do and will do..If you cannot  have PATIENCE and be there for a person  and YOU know their work schedule then get the hell out of dodge and resign form wannabe roleplays.. I can say this because it  happens and will continue if its not stopped..I been called a Intimadator or just BOLD and I am.Because I don't take BS and don't have too.I know  all about this lifestyle and my beliefs and knowledge in growing up in this lifestyle to know the BS and please don't send me a chat request because I wont chat unless I know you.. And being online is not to know someone ,try a phone call then meeting go forward not backward..It works  especially for me...Good luck  and work calls  take care ,,,,serenity

    3/22/2008 8:18:08 AM
    Happy Easter to ALLLLLLLL..!!!And again I am spending it alone .. Its  easy to get use too.. Difficult but getting easier. A Shame too...Have a great day hugs serenity

    3/13/2008 10:44:06 PM
    Well I guesss I got some women thinking or wondering.. They been hitting my page for what reason ? I am niot bi and women are the last thing I care to even discuss so why are they flooding my profile looking ? Don't matter I have a meeting tomorrow morning at 12 am  after i get off work,,finallyyy.. Finally someone who has balls and desire...I will leave a note on how it turns out.. Maybe someone will  finally be the one I been seeking,doubt it but heck its offline and in person.. I have to give credit when credits due..Why can't there be more RERAL offline meetings and more honesty given here . STOP THE BULL and get off the pot and do something... You aren't getting younger and the lifestyle can't live on its own..SO try it  and stop talking the act and walk it ..i seen people here that are truly online for years here and yet they p[lay wioth people who are seeking a lifestyle but yet those so-called wannabes are there playing no doubt and believe them when they say they have experience and been a Dom all their lives,,, believe that,  talking and playing online..Give them a whip bet they don't even kniow how to hold it no doubt I did that once aND the Dom said what do i do with that? and i put it away and left and never went back and won't ..Lucky I didnt bring my Bullwhip that might of scared him into a heart attack lolol. Anyway just be real and honest all will work out for you.. smiles   hugs serenity

    3/10/2008 9:50:33 AM
    For the married men:::

    I am not going to be the one to ruin your marriages. I am seeking total devotion and dedication for me only..I may be selfish but I am REAL..How can you offer me anything if you are giving your all to someone else.. That leaves  no room for me..I want STABILITY and DEVOTION..I wouldn't hurt you why would you hurt me .. My life is simple  and is very stable..Complications are not needed or desired..So if you want a life with me totally commited  to each other ONLY then please email me..I am not a boring person and I DEFINITELY AM NOT A HURTER.... Respect my feelings and my heart and I shall yours.....

    Thank you..  serenity

    3/9/2008 8:54:06 PM
    well this internet communication really tees me off.. I try to say something and get assumed I say something else then when i try to explain i get blocked. You guys need to stop this BS blocking someone who is merely try to communicate and you can't be adult enough to listen or ask more about what is said..I am NOT perfect  trying to explain myself here but I was merely stating I don't play and ITS NOT WHAT I SEEK TO DO only,  iT SOUNDED LIKE IT WAS a ASSUMPTION he wanted just to do that ,,AND I LEARNED ALONGGGG time ago NEVER assume anything and I stopped.but dam let me explain my words..I think from now on I going to phone only instead of trying to explain myself to anyone by words. I been in this lifestyle since I was 5 years old and yet i still make a mistake once in a while like everyone else. Just shame someone has to write a nasty comment and run.. shame..then when i respond i am blocked.. well You are the wrong one and i will stick with that ..So I will go to phone after this,( if I think its proper to do), so or if i need to explain myself or my life..I am unowned and very self-taught in this lifestyle don't  think I am stupid just because my words aren't what you want to read,just ask more...I am sorry if i offend anyone but its time to grow up and be a dam adult not a kid theres wayyyy too many here already.. ty for your time anyway.. hugs to those who are real and do care...serenity

    3/7/2008 10:32:53 PM
    well we see who are serious and who is full of  Bull..Sometimes it pains me to see how clever i am..I said i would be back and came back and nothing except a thank you note(better than nothing)..IT understandable and I do write down those who could care less in any fashion.. Bothers me tho because with the real people we see who has the ability of being a REAL potential or who makes the kindergarten claSS..AS my list grows and has been for a good 6 months now,(even before then) it allows me to know who is real and full of it.. but don't worry its for me only.. Because its my life and I WON'T throw it away stupidly...SoTake care and hopefully one day  you will be you and not a imaginary person in which you can't be in real life..Life is always sweeter if you are truthful with your heart.. smiling be well..

    3/4/2008 11:26:23 AM
    In my own opinion....

    I came here and seen this profile first thing it said was I quote ,,"I am a very demanding Dominant"...Get a darn life.. Be real If you are demanding thats why you are single.. This life doesn't want demanding,abusive,mean ,ignorant men who think they can take out their frustrations of not being loved or cared for on women who are looking for a REAL LIFE.. Why don't you get anger management classes and try then to be human and not live in the 16th century.. Being a Dominant is NOT being a MASTER!!!!. Geeez how many fools believe this should go to Iraq and live..Being a Dominant is being a teacher and knowing what you are teaching, it is not a title, it is a knowledge of knowing the lifestyle and knowing it takes many years and being able to have the act of feeling the pains and happiness within..I was born into it and it was NOT happiness being a slave then was being a domestic worker and doing without question or love or any emotions...Now it is used differently and has been modified to fit others needs and calling it being a slave it is NOT nor will it ever be accepted as such..As a sex slave there is or was none it was being a whore or slut thats it not a slave and people looked down on them types and showed no concern for them or cares..Being a Master was a person who was in charge and above all and having a Master was such grace and respect..A Master was head of his domain and all within..People these days have no castles or mansions  but they believe to be Masters ,not true being owned by a Master was not wearing a collar or showi8ng their slaves off they kept hidden unless serving guests and they did so with respect.. This lifestyle is about grace and poise and not a slutty  thought of ones' imagination..Like I said I was one in real life and know what was shown and done..And if you had no etiquette you were shamed and sold....Etiquette is a honor to show or gi8ve if you have none you have no right being in this lifestyle..There is no Sir or Master unless one is bought,until then can the titles be used..So be yourselves and try to learn before assuming you know what you're doing it can be very painful if not learned and no not abusive it use to be back then but now there are laws and we must respect ones' life as either way they seem to choose..There is no room for mistakes never,ever!!!! take care.. serenity

    3/3/2008 5:03:20 PM
    Happy March Days!! My birthday is next month and I know what I want for my birthday,,hmm ,,,Just wishing thats all...I really don't think anyone cares oh well your games and my reality..Have fun I will......smiles

    2/27/2008 9:34:06 PM
    I would like those who have someone in mind say so and don't screw  with those looking..Show respect when given such.. So many screw around and play with anything they can find comebackand hurt the one who they showed their interests in.. Please list it in your profile you have someone in mind for now, this way no one gets hurt or upset in any way or fashion ty..

    2/25/2008 7:31:44 AM
    Ok a little less direct now...I am finding connecting with someone here is like being put on a christmas wishlist and  maybe then it may happen that we may meet,but guess what. I am not blonde and I am not as dumb as you think. My IQ is 117 and growing each day here ..Bike week starting and noone asked me to go but heck everyone is going that lives down here so I will work and make my overtime I guess.. Thats life..But I will wait in the shadows again and be silent. This I do well.....Work calls  and I am getting ready bye talk tomorrwow ,,,maybe... 

    2/24/2008 8:30:28 PM
    Ok reality check now..Once someone writes and ask a couple questions they run or walk away,with no word..I find this a selfish act towards others..I will say this because it is BS. I would never treat anyone that way and would expect the same respect. If you ask me something and i answer,its not a sign to run away..it is an answer ,truthfully,nothing less I won't lie for anyone or any reason,if you want discreet then donot bother me I do not deal with cheaters or users especially if married sorry, not in my lifestyle. I have too much respect for others property as they would mine if i had any...So if you want to talk and know me do so don't say things to make me think you care or give me hopes and disappear next day for a month or longer...totally WRONG!!!! Just my opinion and only my opinion..

    2/22/2008 10:30:07 AM

    I seee many want to see and not talk niceeeee.. You know if you want a real relationship offline  just ask me if I would like to join you. ITs not hard thing to ask and maybe you may be shy or married (always happens). Why not take a step forward, what can I do? I won't  hurt you and I won't do anything stupid.. I am more  stable than most think or know but heck how would they know they aren't real and kind of makes you think why do we speak to air or words on a screen ,it keeps us SAFE THIS WAY BUT ALSO MAKES US VERY LONELY AND SAD AS WELL.Think about it who is skitz now lololol..I do have a great sense of humor too...Try  life waits for noone  just try.. smiling.. I have always spoke my mind and  made decisions on my own now we know why now .....lolollmao.. take care and hugs  serenity


    2/17/2008 7:47:01 PM
    hi again:
    I stopped in to say hi anyway no matter how far I am away I will remember my friends..I hope everyone has found their potential better half and  are being SSC in all areas.. I am looking for another job because this job is cheating me out of my pay so I am looking for more pay and more honesty.. It may not be possible but I am trying..And no there is NO one in my life as there hasn't been since i joined this site and other sites,.but theh i been too busy doing other things to even put  my mind into even convincing myself someone is here for me,all I can say  if there is he will be here and let me knbow in time and with patience..A couple of good lessons that some can't  learn from . Just email me here and i will get it every day..Take care and hugs to all who know me or care. smiling waves bye 

    1/26/2008 8:56:23 PM
    I apppreciate the kind words from the emails I received from my journal I have wrote.. I like to spill my mind out when it is full of things and I feel bothered alot of the times from peoples words and actions,shame it can't be in real life but then perhaps their spouses would find the divorce courts enlightening ..I would if my mate was online playing with someone else even if it is only words..I have tried through the years being here to try to bring some kind of truth here or even reality here but like everything else here it goes in one end out the other..I can pick up and disappear like all the other people who have experience the games,or I can stay and just say nothing and just do my journals,or accept the players and don't try to sort it out because I already know the games played. I have been played and I have been hurt but I dusted it up as experience and guess what I am still here,whether I go or stay I am still REAL and no punk or wannabe or nevergoingtobe is going to brush me away..I have learned one thing,at least Alt . com was real and I was able to meet others,here  ..... after 4 years now ,not even a peek.. So my home will be back at alt and I know how people feel about it but at least it was attempt and attempt was made,no matter how much BS is done or said there. I DID MEET and this lifestyle is about meeting and beginning to live again a NEW life.. So I will be going back to ALT once more I was there for 12 years before I came here and wasted more time doing nothing.. So those who believe in me I apologize but facts are facts and time waits for noone..I will be coming back and forth to say hi. My friends won't be forgotten ,,ever.. Take care  and hugs and Good luck. Your friend for life  serenity

    1/14/2008 9:41:16 PM
    Too many want to play and many want to be serious.. Which are you? Are you giving your 100% to someone or are you playing tag and staying in the game bracket...?? I really don't care anymore if you are claiming to be real if you are here and chatting in a room then you are not real...I have been here for 5 years on and off the site and I seen games after games,lies and lies,and velcro's flying higher than a kite..What I am is not the issue ,but I am Not a DOMME if I was then I would haunt someone down and collar them if I was a Domme instead of throwing orders and acting the role.. Sure its all roleplaying but darn a little extreme when you can't turn the fake button off..I will respect anyone and everyone but when they can't be honest with others let alone themselves that is bad..I guess everyone is confused about what I am saying just go into a chatroom, sit there and read,,,,see where people have brought their lives too..And yes I am a expert in this lifestyle so I know what its like to be real and perhaps the only one that is  left.. But I won't throw myself on anyones turf or across anyones lap because  I am better and older and smarter and wiser..I paid my dues to be where I am today and I thank  the good man above for all I learned and earned.. Good luck its never too late to change  just be yourself not a icon or wannabe or nevergoingtobe..It won't work...if you can't be real...and honest with others as well as yourself..

    1/7/2008 3:59:31 PM
    I am here but alone as usual.. But then if it was  meant to be that way I can accept it that way.. I have so much to offer but noone seems to care about the inner person only the looks that will fold with age and drugs or whatever most take here..Shame too the only reality is their own,in theior own minds and body not in their hearts.. I don't have the time to waste on anyone who cares less.I have a higher esteem and I apprecite a mind over penis any day..Oh heck life is what you make it not how you make it for someone else.. They will do what they want  only because they can and will...No whip or chains can stop anyone from having fun,cheating,A person follows their heart there are NO quarantees EVER.. So I will keep my patience in tact and my heart strong.. So do as you may when you do because it only goes on as long as you allow it.. smiling good luck..

    12/24/2007 11:32:28 AM

    Merry Christmas to all of my friends hopefully 2008 will be more fulfiling to A/all :)      

                            


    11/14/2007 12:57:35 PM
    Interesting i read a profile here saying :seeking a woman to become a slave/submissive.. Now I find that stupid..If a woman is a slave then she doesnt have to become one its in her blood from day of birth..And of course we all are submissive duh,stupid profiles why not just say seeking a woman to become his or a man to become hers.. Why suggest anything else.. You never know someone unless you date them and know them,first..Meet them face to face instead of being pen pals for a year or two.. This has got to improve and say just seeking a single,wise person who is honest and trusting.. Use the phone to get closer then MEET!!!!! its vital to meet before any play or scening or anything bonding.. Words cannot bond love only people can and it has to come from their heart looking eye to eye and meaning it.. Words  are never enough and being a penpal  is only used in prison or jail or if kids want to write back and forth and gossip.. It doesn't exist in D/s World..Communication does...So We are what we are nothing will change that either has to accept us or deny us and walk away.. So state what you want  without D/s ,Bdsm words.. We are human and we are real and above all we are sincere.. Try it  take care  serenity

    11/12/2007 9:41:34 PM
    well I came home early because I got hurt on the job..I slipped on spilled orange juice and hurt my foot I dont know if its broken,sprain or bruised all I know it hurts but no bad swelling from it so I will say sprain it or bruised it.. It was a sign I should of not been there today. I had this bad feeling all day about ork and it kept telling me not to go but I did and see what happened..I still have a bad feeling about something I can't figure out what about but Its a bad feeling..I need to work to pay the bills so how can I make it up? Its not much money but it helps somewhat..But my foot  isnt going to let me go back to work until it stops hurting.. I told the job I wanted my job and they said I will have it..I just wore wrong type of shoes and  I blame myself,but then anyone could of fell..Now is the time when I really could use soemone to hold me and be beside me so I wouldnt worry so much..But not today I guess so I will go and go prop my foot up.. Take care and I will keep in touch..  serenity

    11/11/2007 5:07:42 PM

    Well weigh in time and I got to say I'm amazed,I ate chinese at work,candy,junk food and still lost 5 pounds..But I will watch out for this week im sure...I get only 30 minute lunch but rarely take it so I junk food eat,I know shame on me but my job won't allow me enough time to eat a good meal so I eat while I am working ,my breaks I get one a day for 15 minutes and sometimes I don't take it..I have another job lead I am hoping will kick in for me while I am still here.. It has been a months time and I sold well over $500,000 dollars worth of timeshare vacations not counting timeshares themselves but I get only count for vacations .. I never sold a thing in my life yet I have the skill to do it ..amazing..So I will be back next weekend and I even went clothes shopping and  I found a wonderful sale..I BOUGHT $119.00 worth of clothing for only $30.00 great sale and will hit it again I am sure . My kind of bargaining..Take care and stay warm Im trying even tho I work in 40 o temp every night when temps outside are 52.. Alot of sick people going to get bad sick.. So take care and get your flu shots too.,.hugs serenity


    11/9/2007 11:11:14 AM
    it seems very lonely here when I get here.Its like something is missing and it doesnt feel as it once did here anymore.. Even tho I am a little seer, Im not totally able to be to see everything.. I wonder sometimes if it was safer not knowing anyone here and asking to meet or is it safer to live alone and  don't let it bother you.. I guess it goes with the aspirin theory.. Take one anyway it will help you ahead of time..Im in a thinking mode today and I am going to work and work in 40 degrees temps all night then come outside and drive home in 50s temps,I know its nothing to you all up north but to me its life and Payday. I have to go..But now since at my job now 30 days I see alot of wrong things people say just to make money to other people who are innocent and have no idea.. I feel its wrong totally to con someone out of hard earned money to make a profit. I don't like my job but its all I have I am a timeshare Rep..And This job was great until lies started coming in to people who didnt care about robbing people.. But I do care and that makes it wrong for me to stay there I will look elsewhere but stay there until I find another. I just can't deal in lies and take peoples money for false advertising..If this is why I hadn't worked in my whole life then perhaps this was the reason why I never did.. I will think about it more and let you all know what I will do right now,I am going to work and try to smile but wont be easy.. not for me..Take care hugs  serenity

    11/4/2007 4:38:34 PM
    well I lost 1 more pound .. I havent been doing my exercise bike because I am working and doing alot of walking,I quit drinking my water shamelly to say only because I work so late at night until morning,so I been chasing coffee rainbows.. So soon I am hoping to get back on my schedule again..Right now Im working 5 to 6 days a week and I have yet to organize my time better. Hard to do it alone.. So you have it talk next Sunday bye bye.. Sere

    10/28/2007 7:09:09 PM
    well I lost a pound feels like more but  must of been all the coffee I am drinking at night.. I hope everyone is well and doing great. Hope to get a few hi's while you all are here.. While I am here I am wondering if anyone ever thought someone might be right for you  but found out they weren't? I just wonder  I quit thinking anyone could be mine  its impossible. I seen so many want this or that but after 2 years they still wanting the same things this or that . I guess once a person is determined to be one way they never change. I found I change every day.. I found as I get older my thoughts about things change. I find one type of person I seek may not even exist but if they did  they may not even know they were that way..Confused yet?? lolol
                     understandable. It's not I am out of the lifestyle that will never be erased from my life its just I change and people change and perhaps my perfect partner/best friend may not even be in the lifestyle any longer. It happens and people get older and wiser and move on.. Maybe a complete waste of my time being here any longer.. I will think about it first before any sudden changes to leave for good..So perhaps  for some of us it may be better to move on after a considerable amount of time just sitting here or waiting,and go elsewhere perhaps a more dating service or just a local BDSM club in your town.Always something to do there.So if you don't know where one is at in your town let me know I have the complete list for 50 states. I would be happy to help anyone,anytime.. So think about it and decide,then you will smile more and be happier .. Good luck  Mary

    10/27/2007 3:23:08 PM
    well I am doing great still losing weight.tomorrow is my weigh in (Sunday)and I rarely come in anymore to say hi to my friends,my apologies by time i get home from work its too late (12am) to even try to log in..So I am going to try to catch up on weekends.. I was suppose to work today but  I played hooky..I needed to have time to rest more. The job is taking so much out of me I barely have time to eat anymore ..But I been drinking Frappachinos.wrong I know whats worse they are cold.. and have cream in them yuk..but I need energy boosters at night time at work the boss buys the red bulls to drink for everyone but I dont like them and they dont do anything for me and plus healthwise they are bad.So I am staying off of them.. So much has changed for me since I started working I can't even keep up but I will do my best to stay in touch.. Take care and be safe  serenity

    10/14/2007 12:39:57 PM
    Hello everyone.. I lost another 2 pounds so now Im at 246..Not bad . I wanted to say those who come here to find a play partner,or pwerhaps an relationship need to follow protocols.. There was a person in here who died from not having the proper protocols followed about scening. They found him in a closet in saran wrap, dead. The protocol for this type of S&M was NOT followed properly. Its sad so many get involved in this lifestyle and donot prepare or read about cautions and problems and DANGERS that can rise from playing..Very Sad..and very stupid..

    10/12/2007 10:56:52 PM
    I got my very first pay check for  beginning a job I found. I have been called upon to wotrk for other companies as well but right now I can only handle one  because of the stress involved in it..I have been going through some emotions lately and I have been working through them on my own,not a easy task..but to do a great job I can't be upset or stressed even tho when I get to work at night I am ok until I start working then my manager puts the stress ion me and everyone else. But he wants a great job so I have to learn to overlook it and do my best,and I have I sold over $6000.00 in timeshares vacations already,so Im on a roll but sometimes  the calls just aren't there and I am finding out all about patience again, which is good I needed too..So I wanted to share with my friends and hopefully they missed me since I haven't been here..I will be back Sunday tho I am not working this sunday just Saturday until 11 pm..So I will try to write more then.. take care and hugs   serenity

    10/6/2007 8:00:40 PM
    Well its been a long week and I have to work on Sunday so I will hurry up.. I worked  12 hours a day so far at a great job ..I did my weigh in and lost 6 pounds so far..In one week..I work until 12 am and start at 4 pm..I  am not able to grab a meal and enjoy it any longer I have 30 minutes to eat and I get 15 minute break..I enjoy the job and have been offered several more to do,but I don't want to wear myself out so I will handle one for now until I get my paycheck Friday..Then I will see where I stand...So I wanted to let everyone know that care I lost 6 pounds in a weeks time I am happy and will continue doing so until my 40 pounds is totally gone.. So take care and will return next Saturday..Oh and I work 6 days a week so my time is limited ..for now..I will organize it better later but for now it has to do..Take care hugs serenity

    9/30/2007 8:46:12 PM
    I lost 2 more pounds this last week..I feel good because it was getting tougher and yet when I begin my second job I will be on the run and moving alot..So I may have to put off my exercise bike now because of all my walking and moving so we'll see if it doesnt work then I will add on my bike then,hopefully it will work..Well my hair is now past my but and I came to decision to have it cut..So I may do so it will grow back but I am going for a new me and want to look new.. This weight has been on me for 5 years but it hadn't grown until I had my gallbladder surgery for my acid reflux and let me tell you it was a wonderful thing to have my gall bladder removed. I no longer have heartburn or acid reflux build up.. So I was able to eat anything  again... Its been 5 years since my car accident since I ever thought I would make it back to work but these days it takes more than one so I am off and hopefully it will be as successful as I can make it.. I will keep everyone informed about my weight weekly still so I won't disappear yet..smiling.. Take care with hugs  serenity aka Mary

    9/27/2007 6:06:36 PM
    well I am definitely going to lose alot of weight. I have landed two jobs,one online and one offline ..They both will equal full time job but later on I will be doing more hours when I learn the ropes :)  So I will come in once in a while and post my weigh-in.. Oh I have a new recipe called spaghetti and meatballs. I know its an old item but its made in a brand new way for dieting , I just discovered a low fat and carb way to cook it..And it looks exactly like it..This is a delightful and has a great taste. If you like to know my recipe for it write me and i will give it too up. Take care and have fun SSC always  serenity

    9/23/2007 5:45:13 PM
    well I slacked and I am bad... I only lost 1/2 a pound.. The darn popcorn got me..I went to movies to see Captivate and ate popcorn,something I always did before the diet..It wasn't all that great anyway but movies was ok not a smash hit.. At least I lost something  I will try to work on more..I made some great chicken breast strips fried tonight  oh they were great and crunchy (no flour even)with my own dipping sauces too.. I made my own homemade bar-b-que sauce to even barbeque some also nothing had flour or salt added.. and steamed some broccoli,great meal if you want the recipe  I would glad send it to you if you like, let me know..I am going to try a cheesecake fatfree and very very little carbs next this will be a challenge but I love experimenting and challenges..So I will let you all know  how it worked out goodnight and hugs always  take care  serenity

    9/22/2007 8:56:16 PM
    Hi Frank I seen you in here I thought I would say Hi long time no see or hear from..Anyway..

    I am doing well I have a store launching soon  with over 2 million items..These items are sports or household too beauty too anything.. Its like Ebay but all these things are brand new never used ..So that is my new thing. I will post a link somewhere here for people to just come and look buying anything is not necessary to do unless you want too..But I am excited about it. I have been placing items in categories and selecting items to sell later on..So in a week I will have it up..If someone wants to get involved in this type thing for a chance to make money I know some of us can't get to job locations or drive or have a car to work with so I will help someone set up a store also and no money is involved in setting it up..So Soon I will let everyone know  when its open .. Meanwhile I wanted to thank again everyone egging me on with this weight lossing.. I appreciate it and all the kind letters i received. I will keep up the good work  for as long as I can,but it will be a long road ahead..And the hardest part will be to keep it off as much as I love to cook grrrrrr. I love my meatloaf which now I have made it better and more filling and healthier,so many things I changed even sugar ,,I use aspartame only...Oil I cook with cannoli,butter, I use this new type which I found at a save alot store its cheap and very healthy no carbs or cholesterol,so I stocked up and even froze some.Salts,I use herbs only for seasonings and pepper..So when I have my cookbook up and in order after this store I will give out some recipes if anyone has a special dish they need fixed up healthy I can do it.. So write me and I will let you know all I wrote about . So take care and stay cool... Night serenity

    9/22/2007 9:18:54 AM
    Well tomorrow is a weigh in. I am hoping for the one pound loss that I was suppose to have last week.So thats that for now.. I got an email from a wannabe asking me if I like orgasms.. That is about as stupid to ask as any I have been asked. I will never reveal to anyone what I do or donot like.. I donot blab to the internet anything that may have a stalker at my door or following me and yes this has happened to a few  and a few more elsewhere ..Why be so intimate about something that is privately done..If it is going to be out in the open then might as well say you're a exhibitionist.. That I am Not..I have  respect  for people in or out of the lifestyle...So please donot write me and ask stupid questions and thats all . If you write me  show me you have good sense and not disrespect me,if you want respect you have to show it or I will block and delete the messages you send..take care and be SSC always serenity

    9/19/2007 9:08:51 PM
    well Im a bit disappointed I gained 1 pound..Sad but now Im working harder and longer..It seems i have alot of water intake in my system not wanting to leave as fast as I had hoped. By time i went to get weighed in  water was still maintained..So now Im going to try something else .. So I will hopefully lose that pound plus another I hope all I can do is try if I don't then I will fail and I don't fail....serenity

    9/16/2007 8:14:10 PM
    I received this email from a  Dom???  I wanted to share what I said so perhaps noone else will make the same mistake in writing me..I don't find this lifestyle a joke and never will it is a way I chose to live . For Those who believe in using it to play with people guess what  it won't work. I DONOT play games or jokes on anyone. So please save the energy and time emailing me if you are full of BS..TY......



    Serenity,
    I am confident in my ability to train, I am strict, patient and I will teach you but in my way. How long have you been in this lifestyle? What experinces have you had? What are your limits?????

    MY REPLY::::
    Might be all that but how responsible are you with another? Do you care where she is or what she is doing? Do you believe in communication before meeting? Do you even think about the other before yourself? I ask these questions because it takes devotion and dedication to be happy and that my dear is hard work and it takes two...Your training is nothing if you never had a slave in person and brought that slave up as you wanted her. Ability to give orders is not making you a Master ..You have to know to belong to another you have to be able to feel them inside and out,mind first,then heart.. If you can feel both then you can be a Man,to be a Master you have to have a slave/sub if neither then you are a Man,and that is a start..Read my journal and you will see I am a REAL slave or was being a submissive is second to my nature..It is what I chose now to be because I wish to belong and to feel and to speak,you have no idea what it is like to havwe those feelings given,they are a blessing to the one giving them,it takes a special person to receive them once they receive them then they have all they need. Nothing is important as those feelings..So you enjoy this role and your life and think about my words from a REAL slave.. Then start again and perhaps your life may be brighter and more sincere to give or share.. smiling.. I am sure it will be....   take care....   serenity..

    9/16/2007 8:13:41 PM
    I received this email from a  Dom???  I wanted to share what I said so perhaps noone else will make the same mistake in writing me..I don't find this lifestyle a joke and never will it is a way I chose to live . For Those who believe in using it to play with people guess what  it won't work. I DONOT play games or jokes on anyone. So please save the energy and time emailing me if you are full of BS.. TY  serenity

    Serenity,
    I am confident in my ability to train, I am strict, patient and I will teach you but in my way. How long have you been in this lifestyle? What experinces have you had? What are your limits?????

    MY REPLY::::
    Might be all that but how responsible are you with another? Do you care where she is or what she is doing? Do you believe in communication before meeting? Do you even think about the other before yourself? I ask these questions because it takes devotion and dedication to be happy and that my dear is hard work and it takes two...Your training is nothing if you never had a slave in person and brought that slave up as you wanted her. Ability to give orders is not making you a Master ..You have to know to belong to another you have to be able to feel them inside and out,mind first,then heart.. If you can feel both then you can be a Man,to be a Master you have to have a slave/sub if neither then you are a Man,and that is a start..Read my journal and you will see I am a REAL slave or was being a submissive is second to my nature..It is what I chose now to be because I wish to belong and to feel and to speak,you have no idea what it is like to havwe those feelings given,they are a blessing to the one giving them,it takes a special person to receive them once they receive them then they have all they need. Nothing is important as those feelings..So you enjoy this role and your life and think about my words from a REAL slave.. Then start again and perhaps your life may be brighter and more sincere to give or share.. smiling.. I am sure it will be....   take care....   serenity..

    9/13/2007 9:07:21 PM
    And you now know why I know what I do because I learned the hard way..And I always will continue on to learn more and more as I get even older. I am 51 now and I love learning but I hope one day to actually quit reading and start doing.. Will this happen,in my opinion I really donot think so here..But I will hold on  to what hope I have left..Maybe someone will wake up and realise hey they aren't getting any younger either and look me up if not then they are on their own. I can't tell anyone what to do I can suggest but I will also advise and my advise would be is if you aren't happy with what you got then get real and start being happy.. My Gooodness ,Life only happens once  why wallow in unhappiness or feeling self-pity .Be daring or bold do something you always wanted to do or buy something you always wanted  and just be happy or begin to be another person won't give you that permanent bond alone you have to give also ..Share everything ,together ,in every way and never let any distance get in between your happiness or you may lose it completely..So take care and good luck we all get what we want in time  smiles.. serenity

    9/13/2007 8:46:30 PM
    Well i came here and seen a disturbing profile. Looking for a real slave.. Do anyone here understand what a TRUE slave is well let me tell you what one is.. I hope the little girls and wannabes listen too. a Real Slave is a domestic person who works before sunrise and her work is not done until it is pitch dark outside..A sex slave is something made up by someone who was unhappy and horny. It was  after real slavery was supposedly stopped but what everyone doesn't know it still happened..I started at age of 5 yes a baby in first grade abled and willing to learn how to learn to live..A REAL slave I cleaned the house mine was a 13 room home 2 story,hardwood floors which had to be waxed and  dusted daily,then the attic was a sewing room which had to be vaccumed and cleaned everyday. Every room had to be clean and I mean washed floors or dust mopped daily,then there was a 3 acre garden I helped planed ,weeded and sold veggetables at Farmers Market on weekends but only when house was done there was eggs to gather before sun up before school I was only 5 years old when I began.. There was no time to play or even act up  I was punished daily for even thinking about playing when work was to be done.. Then I learned ettiquette ,I prayed everyday for company or whoever came over at dinnertime..I set the table,washed dishes also, I had to do this every day,I took care of animals and had no friends this was a slaves life, and punishments were not pretty. We had a concrete pillar in basement I was tied too and whipped just to keep me in line or even to remind me what I was there for, if I even thought the wrong way, and I bled until I was covered. You say this is abuse no it was slavery..100% slavery Not abuse .. Abuse was made up after, I mean years after I wassold to a  elderly couple,by my real mother for $3500.00, I learned to respect and appreciate life,maybe not pretty but many times I wished I was dead and hoped I was, but I had hopes one day I would be happy and find my place to be loved and wanted and cared about.. Being a slave you are NEVER loved and never allowed to have emotions or even speak the word love. I wasn't allowed communication I was told to do something I did it .. I wasn't allowed to tell anyone or talk to anyone so I never did for 19 years.. So you  want to be slaves think about it first then take the label or titles you never earned..And you know what you will be a wannabe when confronted .. Does it feel good to be labelled such.. Only you can answer that question.. If you have the scars then you earned the title.. Be real or be ??? Your choice..But it angers me to see those take that title and misuse it and give themselves privleges when there are none given.. You want a slave Good luck. We didnt bleed to beg to live our lives in peace and love,we only want what we deserve,,respect and a place of Our choice,if there are anymore than myself that are real. This is why I still remain..And why I am a submissive by choice,because I need and desire one thing you don't have a right to want is desire.. You get what you earn..So learn or change..

    9/10/2007 10:26:06 AM
    Guess what I am finally at my 10 pound goal....I finally did it after 8 weeks.. here is my last weeks (Sunday to Sunday)count..
    this week I lost 2.5 pounds..----------

    130 minutes--
    1042 calories burned--
    22.1 miles on the exercise bike--
    carbs will be counted  in a little bit. I have to get a battery for my calculator lolol.geezzz.be back soon..


    Keep a green tree alive in your heart and a songbird may come to sing there.

    9/6/2007 9:03:01 PM

    I wanted or needed to say a few things on my mind that I have been thinking about all day..I went to movies tonight with my son and I wondered why couldn't I have a soulmate.. I seen a woman bigger and taller and  alot less without than myself but yet she had a soulmate holding hands and enjoying her life whether on a sidewalk,street,or wherever she was happy she wasn't alone..It kind of bothered me( I am going to judge myself now I may be wrong but this is my thoughts and opinions). It bothered very bad. I came here three years ago, to meet many but still I am alone like I have been for 10 years  since I first learned how to type  on this keyboard online..I am very pretty in my own opinion,I am losing weight,(this woman weighed well over 300 lbs6ft tall,short gray hair wiry looking) I don't have the best named brand clothes but they match and aren't ragged..Is it so hard for any one to meet me? To come face to face with me and have coffee or even a drink but only one drink..And just talk and get to know each other ,No sex or scening,nothing that will hurt anyone just talk and see if we get along..Since I have been here there are over 14 that I had become interested in but they were either local and had a woman at home  and couldn't meet  or they were long distance and just didn't have the guts to face me..I may be part Indian but I am NOT going to scalp anyone.. Why can't you people be real and do something with your lives instead of screwing around with peoples hearts and lives and lie about it. Just say you are chicken manure.. Or you're just too darn scared to try.. If so  talk online before meeting and take your time but not a year or two and then meet..Don't live alone and angry at the world because you didn't meet the person who could of been your entire happiness...I have put ads everywhere,all the vanilla sites and even my secret site I found and yes even in alt,but noone is real ( I met 7 in alt.com)and have the potential of wanting to be happy or allowing it to happen.. So I can't say where I am going after this but I feel its a waste of time hoping and wishing everyday..I met a few in alt in person years ago  well let's say fake is fake no matter how much you try to overlook it..If you are sincere then be sincere. I myself  with a few more are here wanting to live a eternity in happiness and love and to belong in a family that accepts each other as they are not as they aren't or can't be..Think about it then decide.. But don't play with someone if they have hopes in meeting face to face and having a life afterwards with you,IF you have NO intentions of getting past a computer screen or webcam..I don't believe in them and will never use a cam for anything unless I am with that person sharing pictures together ,and not meaning nudes either.. So be real or be  as you are .. Only you know where you are going its up to you to get there noone else can live your journey for you.. All I have spoken are my opinions and nothing is meant for anyone in particulatr ,if you think its meant for you then it is ....I won't point no fingers at anyone.. Take care and be well   serenity


    9/2/2007 7:36:14 AM
    my weight update.. My weight was at a standstill last week now I have lost 2 more pounds this week,,,
    From 262 pounds I am now at 254.In 7 weeks ..This week I rode on my exercise bike 19.07 miles,burned 1033 calories,in a 20 minute a night exercise on my bike..6 days a week..I will get my carb loss figured out today and put here as well later today..
    Don't sound alot but  to me it makes all the difference in the world to me. So I'm going to workout more this week and hope I don't have anymore of those standstills.. grrr .. take care and stay happy.. serenity

    8/28/2007 8:30:51 PM
    I am away for a while I need to do more exercise and to do more  to lose weight I will keep all informed  as I usually do each week. I just can't come here and spend all my time just watching and typing. It goes beyond the doors...Plus while those who come and here and do waste their time,I hope you aren't just sitting and hoping as life passes you by slowly so do precious moments you could of  went out and shopped for a special toy or paddle or just a book. Its never too late to build that toybox or start that collection of D/s  books.. There are many to chose from just go to Barnes and noble and type in BDSM books in the search box and you'll have plenty to select from.. Have fun and don't just be a turtle and wait because it never will get you that partner or prepare you for  what could happen .. Enjoy and prepare...I am and have been for 2 months now and going on 3..Good luck  serenity

    8/27/2007 8:04:24 AM

    My weight update. well I didnt lose or gain. My body is at a standstill this week. Next week Im hoping to lose two pounds I am hoping..This happens and its not anything to worry anyone.. No matter how hard I can try sometimes the body will take a rest..This week I burned more calories and went more distance  I will have the total added up and entered later.. I just wanted to update the ones who are watching.. serenity


    8/27/2007 8:01:41 AM
    Envy can be a positive motivator. Let it inspire you to work harder for what you want.

    8/22/2007 9:50:17 AM
    I am sure many here that read my posts are enjoying them I am glad you are. I got emails telling me so . I thank you all for reading the journal...I wanted to say something first if I may....




    For those who aren't in the lifestyle I have a link to where you can find that one in your life. It is not a dating service like true.com or lavalife.com. It is more of a personal section ( and they have a free giveaway section on different things)that has been helping many of my friends who are not in the lifestyle...Many have went on dates and loved it..So if you are NOT in this lifestyle email me and I will tell you where to go to find that perfect date, plus this covers the whole USA....ITS FREE TOO.





    Now for those in the lifestyle the ending of my Chapters conclude with books to read like Screw the roses,or many lifestyle books if you would like me to list them here I will..But I wanted to let you all know that my Chapters were completely done.. If you like you may copy and keep the entries...They can be for you to use for references. I will start placing forms in here for you also to use.. I have a negotiation form which is a blessing to use and sign by both before beginning any scene. And I also have  contract forms for subs or slaves,I did list alot ealier the BDSM checklist form if you need it again I will place it again where to find it or I will put it here again just email me and ask .. Thats why I am here and I will help those anytime especially if you are looking for a local club in your area. They will direct you to munches to attend. Munches are cool and no play is done it is a gathering to meet and say hi to others,nothing dressy or anything just casual people..So let me know and I will help anyone that ask.. Take care tomorrow I will begin with the Negotiation form placed..   take care and be SSC.. serenity

    8/21/2007 6:01:23 AM

    CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS ENTRY>

    Ice>>>>
    Ice play can be a welcome addition to a relationship. Ice can be used on external body parts, external genitalia, or even internal genitalia if care is taken. Ice can quickly sensitize affected body parts, or numb them slightly. Ice can even be used to intensify an orgasm in either sex. With males, a thin piece of ice, inserted into the anus during ejaculation, can give the male a more intensified orgasm than normal. Ice rubbed on nipples will cause an almost instant stiffening, making clamp application easier in some situations.
    NOTE: Caution shall be observed. Ice play can cause frost-nip or in severe cases, frostbite. Frost-nip is a temporary situation of numbness, pain, and diminished blood flow in the affected area. It will go away with the application of heat. Frostbite is a serious condition of actual tissue death. The skin turns gray, and there is no blood flow. The skin will feel very waxy. Frostbite must be attended to very quickly. It is doubtful that true frostbite will be caused with ice play, but the Dom should always be watching the sub and their reactions for any bad signs. Do not apply hot wax or hot water to a frost-nipped or bitten area. Use the warmth of your hands or underarms to re-warm the nipped area. Also, ice inserted into the anus or vagina can cause internal cuts, which can severely injure or kill your sub.

    Body Training
    Body training uses specialized apparatus to "train" a body part or area to look a certain way for an extended period of time. Corsets are used to train the waist and lower abdomen to make it smaller. Nipple training devices pull the nipple out from the breast to lengthen it. There are other devices specific to other body parts. The difference with these and other devices is that body training occurs over a long period. With corsets, the sub wears it for about 22 hours a day for a long time. The result of the training can be extremely visually pleasing.
    NOTE: There are extreme cautions to these procedures. Corsets accomplish the "wasp waist" look by physically moving internal organs up into the rib cage. Other training devices apply pressure and tension to a specific body part for extended periods. If used improperly, all body training devices can cause severe pain and possible injury.

    Piercing
    Piercing is a way of ornamenting the body in other places than the ear with jewelry. Pierced areas can include the nose, eyebrow, lip, and nipples. In females, piercing can include the clitoris, clitoral hood, inner and outer labia. In males, piercing can include the penis shaft, the glans, and the scrotum. Piercings can be temporary, where a thin sharp needle is passed through the skin, or permanent, where a sharp hollow needle actually carves out a portion of the skin, making a hole. The jewelry ranges from simple hoops to intricate jewelry. Chains, rope, and clamps can be attached to the jewelry itself to pull on the skin.
    NOTE: Since an object is breaking the surface of the skin, profuse bleeding will normally occur. Also, due to the skin break and subsequent blood contact, infections can easily take hold. Blood poisoning, gangrene, and death can happen due to an improperly cared-for piercing. Because of the dangers involved, eroticized piercing should be avoided. All piercing implements and jewelry should be disinfected thoroughly before use, and the area being pierced should be cleaned with an anti-bacterial wash.
     

    8/21/2007 5:59:23 AM
    As I am reaching the end to the basics of D/s,M/s,BDSM remeber it is what you make it.. But always use caution and negotitate before hand always I will later on place negotiation forms to use for any scene. So enjoy as I am winding down form my writings..



    Chapter 8 --- Additional Information---
    There is more to D/s than just paddles and flails, ropes and cuffs. There are other "toys" that are used and are useful, especially if the parties agree that the play can become more intense. The following items and techniques are not recommended for beginners, but are included so that when and if you decide, you have the information at hand to ensure that the play continues to be safe and consensual.

    NOTE: The following items and techniques are more advanced, and have a greater probability of severe or permanent damage. If you are unsure about how to proceed, get more information from experienced D/s couples. The warnings in the following sections are not to frighten you. The warnings are there for your and your subs safety. Extreme caution should be exercised when using these techniques and items.

    Wax
    Wax play is utilized by many couples for enhancing their play. Candle wax, dripped onto sensitive body areas, such as the nipples, chest, or groin can be intensely stimulating for couples who have a greater pain tolerance. The sensation of the hot wax, running down and hardening into a semi-soft shell can be very erotic. The heat from the wax also serves to intensify the sensitivity in and around the area if the wax is not too hot.
    NOTE: Very hot wax can cause first, second, or even third degree burns. Blisters can form quickly, and skin damage can easily result. When using candles, hold the candle high above the body part exposed to the melted wax. If the heat sensation is not strong enough, bring the candle closer, but only a little at a time. If you are not sure about how hot the wax is, test it by letting some fall on a sensitive part of your body, such as your wrist or inner arm. Take care not to burn yourself.

    Clamps
    Clamps are devices that apply pressure to a body part. They can be used on nipples, the chest and outer genitalia. There are many styles of clamps, from plain clothespins to specialized genital clamps. Some clamps even have a tension adjuster to get the correct amount of pressure. Some Doms will apply the clamps to the desired area, and then add weight to pull down on the area, or attach the clamp to a pulley system to pull up or out on the clamped body part. The sensations can range from pleasure to mild discomfort to extreme pain, depending on the area that is clamped, the amount of pressure on the clamp itself, and if there is any weight applied to the clamp.
    NOTE: Clamps should be used with caution. Clamping any body part reduces the blood flow to that area to a greater or lesser degree. Lack of blood can kill tissue quickly. Also, clamps should not have sharp edges that can catch skin or cut the sub. When using clamps and weight, extreme caution should be taken as to avoid tearing skin or applying so much weight that the clamp is torn from the body part.

    Electrical Stimulating Devices
    Electrical stimulating devices use electricity directly applied to the skin. On most, the intensity of the applied electricity can be altered, from a low voltage to a fairly high amount. The sensations that come from these devices range from pleasant to very painful. The electricity goes into the skin and muscles, stimulating the muscles and nerves directly. The devices can be inserted into various body orifices, or applied to the outer skin or genitalia, depending on the shape of the device, and its intended use.
    NOTE: Electrical stimulators can be very expensive to purchase. Be sure to fully inspect these particular devices before use. Frayed wires, loose plates, or even corrosion on the device can render it useless or dangerous. Electrical play can quickly become hazardous to the sub and the Dom. If the sub is standing, a shock to the legs or groin can cause the sub to collapse almost instantly. An inadvertent shock to the spine can be unpredictable, and a shock across the heart can cause the heart to stop or beat erratically. These devices should be researched thoroughly by the Dom and sub that plan to use them during play. All safety information that comes with the device should be read and understood totally. Do not use the device in a manner that is not definitely spelled out in the instructions. Electrical play is best left alone. It is very dangerous edge-type play, and must be thoroughly researched before being embarked on.

    (CONTINUED)

    8/19/2007 9:29:17 AM
    I wanted to write something that would bring a smile so here it is ::I call it 5 minutes to happiness, a reason to smile, it is me and how I am and wish to be....

    It can be so easy to get caught up in the rigors of modern life that we tend to forget that happiness need not come with stipulations. Happiness becomes something we must schedule and strive for—a hard-won emotion—and then only when we have no worries to occupy our thoughts. In reality, overwhelming joy is not the exclusive province of those with unlimited time and no troubles to speak of,not like we have many daily I know I do but I like to close my mind to them  even for a short time that way I keep my sanity lolol.. Many of the happiest people on earth are also those coping with the most serious challenges. They have learned to make time for those simple yet superb pleasures that can be enjoyed quickly and easily. Cultivating a happy heart takes no more than five minutes. The resultant delight will be neither complex nor complicated, but it will be profound and will serve as a reminder that there is always a reason to smile.

    So much that is ecstasy-inducing can be accomplished in five minutes. Alone, we can enjoy an aromatic cup of our favorite tea, take a stroll through the garden we have created, write about the day's events in a journal, doodle while daydreaming, or breathe deeply while we listen to the silence around us. In the company of a good friend or treasured relative, we can share a few silly jokes, enjoy a waltz around the room, play a fast-paced hand of cards, or reconnect through lighthearted conversation. The key is to first identify what makes us dizzyingly(like the word lol?) happy. If we do only what we believe should bring us contentment, our five minutes will not be particularly satisfying. When we allow ourselves the freedom to do whatever brings us pleasure, five minutes out of 14 wakeful hours can brighten our lives immeasurably.

    It is often when we have the least free time or energy to devote to joy that we need to unwind and enjoy ourselves the most. Making happiness a priority will help you find five minutes every day to indulge in the things that inspire elation within you. Eventually, your happiness breaks will become an established part of your routine. If you start by pursuing activities you already enjoy and then gradually think up new and different ways to fill your daily five minutes of happiness, you will never be without something to smile about.So try to be more glowing and more happy even if its just for 5 minutes..Happiness is and can be contagious if we allow it to be.. try it!!  take care  smiling    serenity


    8/19/2007 9:14:59 AM
    I have now lost 5 pounds in 6 weeks I am feeling good. I just need to try to do it more  so I can be a total 10 pounds in my 3 months goal.. Then after my ten pounds I will start combining everything I did and ate and try to excel further on.. This 50 pounds is going  .. I even feel smaller so hopefuly soon I will be more energetic and be able to feel better about myself. Its not easy at my age to lose weigh and I started drinking green tea also.. It helps alot too. There is another tea I heard about I am going to try out to see if it does all it does for weight lose oh and I found a colon rinse recipe as well. But I want to go to each idea separate and report the best way.. So hopefully I can report 10 more pounds lost..But it takes alot of patience and time..ciao     serenity 

    8/17/2007 6:29:28 PM
    ..This section I copied and asked befoere I did ..I have my own notes but for this I preferred to borrow a Dommes' Words..So I had permisssion to place this section here..Enjoy


    Chapter 7 - Training Techniques
    Respect for the sub is very important in this phase. As a Dom, you are attempting to bring out the best in your sub, not break her spirit and turn her into a robot.

    Even in training, there are certain guidelines that are useful:
    1. Never strike a sub in the face. A light to medium open-hand slap below the neck is normally sufficient to handle the job. You can place your hands on the sub's face to make them look at you.
    2. Never break skin on purpose. If you do, handle it immediately after punishment is finished. Soothe the scrapes with lotion, talking softly and gently to your sub.
    3. Never leave a bound sub unattended. Accidents can happen, and the sub is in no position to assist themselves.
    4. Never discipline in anger. That has been covered earlier.
    5. Never engage in D/s under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This goes for the sub as well as the Dom.
    6. Always explain why the discipline is occurring to the sub. Discipline must occur for a specific reason. To arbitrarily discipline a sub breaks down her trust in the Dom.
    7. The punishment should fit the offense.
    8. Discipline should always be followed with tenderness and love. The infraction has been dealt with, and is in the past. As a Dom, do not hold a grudge against the sub. Allow the sub to be forgiven.
    There are a large number of techniques that Doms use. These vary from couple to couple. One technique that people use is to bind the sub's hands above their head, bind their feet together, and, with the flat of the hand, spank them from their shoulders to their ankles, front and back. This is a very effective way of getting their attention.

    Reward is also very important. Correct actions must be rewarded by the Dom, otherwise the sub has no incentive to obey the Dom's instructions. You could give your slave a single flower, a note left on the computer, or a loving caress. The reward will depend on the sub and the action which pleases the Dom. Once in a while, a Dom will find a sub to whom a spanking is a reward. This is why the Dom must know the sub, totally. Every sub is different, just as every Dom is different.

    It is very difficult to give step-by-step instructions on how to discipline or reward a particular sub. Some subs are totally submissive, others have a very strong will. In any case, the discipline is for correction, the reward is for compliance. If more correction is needed, do not hesitate in escalating your actions. Use the amount of correction necessary to punish the infraction. Do not threaten punishment. Apply it. The sub will respect the Dom to a greater degree. If the sub complies above and beyond what you expected, reward them accordingly. Remember, the strength of the Dom lies in his love for the sub.

    When using any style of domination, care must be taken not to injure the sub. An actual injury, if caused, should be tended to immediately. Stop the scene, quickly unhook or detach the sub from any devices, and tend to the injury. Basic first aid should be known by the Dom, because injuries can happen, and the Dom is responsible for the sub.

    Humiliation
    Humiliation is a specific style of domination that centers on making the sub do a particular act, or doing something to a sub that is repugnant or causes the sub to feel less powerful. Examples of humiliation include making the sub eat from a bowl on the floor, publicly disciplining a sub, and making a sub perform an act in public which could be considered embarrassing. Some forms of excretory play (urine, feces) could also be considered under this heading. This can be an effective means of control of the sub, but is sometimes considered overkill. Usually, the sub obeys the Dom because the sub wants to please their Dom. When the sub, however, decides to ignore the authority of the Dom, or decides to play the brat, sometimes humiliation can be considered as a tool for discipline. Personally, I do not enjoy or employ humiliation training. It depends on the couple involved in the relationship whether this style of domination is used.

    Restriction
    Restriction is a style of domination where the sub is restricted in movement. Restriction can be enforced with restraining devices, such as ropes, or merely words. Restricting the movement of a sub is a widely used training technique. Restriction can be used along with almost any other style of domination, such as restriction and spanking, or restriction and humiliation. Simply tying the subs hands behind their back is a light form of restriction. Telling your sub to kneel, or not to move is a form of restriction. Heavier restriction can include tying hands and feet to the bed or a hook on the wall, or binding the sub's hands and feet together. Heavier restriction will tend to have extra items used for restriction, such as spreader bars, cuffs, rope, or other specific devices. Very heavy restriction does not allow very much, if any, movement by the sub. Very heavy restriction can utilize larger items, like crosses, racks, large quantities of ropes, specialized strap devices, or suspension devices. The amount of restriction necessary depends on the training or play being initiated by the Dom.

    Physical Domination
    This style of domination includes a wide range of activities, including spanking, whips, flails, floggers, and electrical stimulating devices. This style is often included along with restriction. Another style of physical domination includes moving the sub in space without their consent, by the hair, a leash, or a simple hand on the back of the neck. Physical domination is a very direct way of communicating to the sub the position and authority of the Dom. Physical domination does not have to be violent or punishing. In public, a firm hand on the sub's shoulder can have as much effect as a swat on the behind for correcting a sub's behavior.

    Verbal Domination
    This style of domination is not as directive as the above methods, but is a style in its own right. Verbal domination is control using words and speech to effect a change in the sub. An example of this would be sliding up behind your sub in a public place, and whispering into their ear, or calling them "slave" in a public area. Having your sub call you "Master" or "Mistress" in public would also be considered verbal domination. Some Doms exert so much control over their subs that a word or a phrase will instantly cause a change in their sub, sometimes against the will of the sub. These cases are rare, though.

    In the case of cyber or long distance D/s, exercised on the phone or by computer, this is the style used by most Doms, since they are not there to correct or reward the sub physically. It is very difficult to physically dominate a sub over a long distance connection. The sub must do what the Dom orders, to the best of the sub's ability. If clamps are to be applied, the sub must be able to physically do the action. Since the physical control of the sub is difficult to ensure, verbal domination is used extensively.



    8/15/2007 10:12:54 AM
    Before I go to Chapter 6 please remember about Bondage never leave the person alone for any length of time. and please use the best common sense you can about how to do this.. Like I stated there are many bondage ways try and experiment but do it in safety have the scissors ready in case something starts cutting circulation off and  the areas start turning blue or purple . It can happen and has many times..

    Chapter 6 - (TRAINING ITEMS)


    There are many types of training items. Usually, they are used for punishment, but, when used gently, can be very erotic. These items should serve no other purpose than for the administration of discipline. They are symbols of power and authority for the Dom. They must be treated with care and respect. Do not wield an item unless you are prepared to use it. These items are more than just another tool. They should instill awe in the sub, and effect an immediate change in their attitude. They are tangible evidence of the Dom's role as the administrator of justice to the sub. Therefore, they should not be overused or misused.

    Belts can be used to discipline the sub. Folded in half, they are very effective for spanking. It is easy to get out of control with a belt, though, inflicting more pain than is necessary. Of course, the intensity of pain is at the discretion of the couple. Riding crops are also very effective. The head of the crop, run up the inside of the sub's thighs, is very erotic, and a strike from the crop is quite impinging on the sub. Flails are items that have many long thin straps attached to a handle. They can actually break the skin if wielded too strongly, but with a light or medium touch, can get your sub's attention quickly. They cover a larger area of skin, giving many defined areas of pain. Paddles come in all shapes and sizes. They are used for spanking large areas.

    These items should be used for higher gradients of discipline, since they do cause higher degrees of pain than the flat of your palm, and can cause injury if not used with caution. An inexperienced Dom should use the item on himself before using them on the sub. This way, the Dom will get an accurate estimate on the amount of force needed with each item to produce the desired effect.

    There are also items like gags, ball gags, and face masks. I do not suggest that the beginner utilize those items. When gagged, the sub will have a difficult time getting a safeword out, and may be injured inadvertently. If you must use a gag, though, the Dom must be very careful, and very in tune with the sub. Other means of "safewording" should be used, such as a bell held in the sub's hand, or a ball, when dropped, signaling the Dom that the sub is having problems, and a time-out should be started.I,myself have found different things for different feelings.. Like a solid white rabbit fur flogger,now many may not say it works for them but its my favorite flogger..To me it is the one that is sensual and erotic and can be applied OTK or in bondage or just on the hooks hanging this is an exceptional tool .Everyone is different and donot use the same things some extreme some sensual and erotic. It is all up to you,the Dominant to find out what Your partner feels like before a scene.. Maybe surprise them by changing the mood for them from rough to barely touching,so many many things can be done  Just be careful and play nicely and together in minds as well.. take care   and be SSC..  serenity

    8/14/2007 7:16:07 PM
    I wanted to say a few things like i usually do for you all to read.. I will continue onward with my Chapters tomorrow but tonight I am thinking too much and need to release my mind.. So bear with me for a few.. I have found a few people interested in me  but I am wondering how REAL they are..In the past I have met those who weren't even close. One questions my mind,my past in which I am wanting to lay in the past,and it makes Him wonder about me..Only I will speak about my past if I feel I should but I should Not anymore. My past is just that I learned and still lost. What do I mean I heard you ask that as you read this.. I meant I learned many things in my life in the lifestyle for what reason I have yet to know because I have never served a Dominant yet in my last ten years..Maybe I put  alot of labels on people,maybe I see people wrong or misjudge them maybe  But if someone is sincere then I expect them to be sincere .. I don't lie what should anyone else but they do..Then this other person thinks Im afraid to call him,never have been before but I don't like to be told Im afraid or scared when I am totally opposite..I would of called first night,but I respect people alot especially those I know are REAL people and are honest. I have called past Dominants when they least expected it and their wives answered the phone so I stopped calling but it helped me make a decision then.So much depends on honesty and loyalty and expectations..I just rely on my heart and how it feels when I am chatting with someone,or if I feel comfortable  with them. I can't be anyone else than who I am. I can't even act dumb good. I have ahigh IQ of 117 and yet  I am questioned about my past..I lost in my past things I will never have again,my childhood,and being a teen and having friends (only in school).So much is determined on what I am like yet people can't see me as a woman searching for her Prince..They just want to know about my past as a real slave. It certainly wasnt something to boost about and something I am not proud about ..But I was and I can only hope someone will accept me as me not as a past that died when I was 19 years old. But in my heart it will remain alive but embedded deeply in my slaves' heart...  good night   serenity

    8/13/2007 6:20:40 AM
    My total monthly weightloss : this is what I lost in one month on my diet...

    I worked out 20 minutes a day on my exercise bike for one month. My goal is losing 62 pounds . Here's is my one month loss.

    for 20 minutes a day I did it for 8.1 hours totally
    calories I used up was 2,652 totally
    I went 56.5 miles totally for one month
     and lost 668.03 carbs for my grand total of weight I lost  from 262 to now I am 257 lbs..
    I stayed on my diet same foods but I added different ways to cook them and I didnt use sugar only aspartame(sugar substitute which is a lot less costing) no bread nothing with alot of carbs in them..my meals were salads,I even ate turkey burgers,turkey meatloaf  and turkey sausages and fish broiled or baked..
    I am making a cookbook for those who need alot of help with their weight.. I had high blood pressure but I am feeling alot better and I am able to move alot easier. I use ground turkey for more uses than chicken and I do use chicken breast,I make my own bar b que sauces and I use alot of lemon as well. My drinks are a 1/2 gallon of water a day.Then I treat myself to a diet coke (after all my water is dranked first) or coffee but never any real sugar. So this is my monthly loss. I have two months to go I am hoping to do better this coming up with longer minutes on my bike I am going eventually 30 minutes each day but this month I am going to try 25 minutes.. take care and think light..

    8/10/2007 1:36:32 PM
    Continual on Body Harness..

    If you're using a 25' length of rope, you will probably find that there's not enough rope left at this point to run down the persons back. No problem; at this point, you just wrap or tie off the ends of the rope wherever you like--around the part where it loops around the back of the person's neck, or around the part where it crosses behind the person's back, or whatever.

    There are all kinds of things you can do any time you find yourself with extra rope. One of the simplest things you can do is use the extra rope to make a wrap:

    It's exactly as simple as it looks. The free end of the rope wraps around and around another part of the rope; if you reach the end of the rope, just tuck it beneath the wrap. This technique is quite handy for making "handles" that are quite convenient for grabbing, if you like.
    Like I said  there are so many ways to use the bondage tying so many ways and names for them..I just gave you the easiest form  . I will suggest for newbies that are new at this to use only 25 ft of rope.Standard, straightforward nylon rope, which is inexpensive, soft, and strong. 25' is a good working length for rope, and this rope is available in black or white. It's good for basic bondage, and for tying rope harnesses as described in last entries of this journal.. I even have one for a hair bondage  ouch now that I wouldnt need rope I have enough hair to use for that one smiling anyway I hope you practice this form of body harnessing it is simple and easiest. I may put other forms in at another time but right now Im using the essentials for safety sake.. take care serenity


    8/10/2007 1:30:37 PM
    continual of How to make a Body Harness..

    In shibari, a rope harness that wraps around the torso is called a "karada." While some forms of shibari are highly ritualized, with specific names given to different styles of knot and different parts of the harness, a more relaxed and informal style of rope bondage is a lot of fun. The simple karada shown above is very easy to make, as this tutorial will show.

    A basic karada can be made with a length of rope about 25' long

    First, find the center point of the rope. The center of the rope drapes around the back of the person's neck. Bring the ends of the rope around one another three times; these three twists will become the three diamonds you see in the front of the finished rope harness.

    Bring the two ends of the rope between the person's legs...

    ...then up and apart on the other side. From this point, each end of the rope will wrap around the person's hips and then through the lowest twist in front, which sounds complicated but is actually quite easy:
    Nothing to it. Don't pull the rope tight; as you continue this process, bringing the ends of the rope around to the front, passing them through the twists, and then bringing them back again, the rope will need to slide to let the diamonds open up in the front. It's okay if the rope is loose at this point; it will become tighter as you work your way up.

    You'll do the same thing again--pass the ends of the rope around the person's back, then around the front and through the twist, like so:

    As you might imagine, you'll do this same thing one more time. Bring the ends of the rope around the person's body and behind the person, then back around the front and through the topmost twist. After you do this, you can bring the ends of the rope over the top of the person's shoulders, or back around beneath the persons arms .
    So the rope goes around to the front of the person's body, through the topmost twist, then back around behind the person again; from there, you bring the ends up underneath the rope where it passes around the person's neck, and down beneath the rope wrapping around the person's back. (It's easier than it sounds, I promise.) continued on next entry of journal ....less space to use..for conclusion


    8/10/2007 1:26:35 PM
    As I promised I was going to try to finish up on Chapter 5 about Bondage with instructions on How to do it..AS I gathered up my notes I came across several types of bondage,there is a tree bondage, a frog Bondage,a Hair Bondage and more types..I am going to give the basic way to a Basic bondage.

    Of course, there's more to bondage
    than tying someone down. Bondage can be thought about in several different ways; "restraint" bondage, where the goal is to prevent someone from moving or restrict someone's range of motion; "stimulation" bondage, which is bondage that doesn't restrict someone's motion but where the ropes or ties press on sensitive areas of the body (such as breasts or genitals) to cause erotic stimulation or arousal; and "suspension," in which a person is bound from an overhead fixture in a way that suspends the body entirely off the floor in a sling or harness of ropes.

    When most people think of bondage, they think of restraint bondage--tying someone's wrists to the bedposts, that sort of thing. Stimulation bondage, on the other hand, is a lot of fun as well, and can sometimes even be done under a person's clothes...which means you can be tied up while you go to work, go shopping, and so on.

    Some types of bondage do both--they immobilize a person and also stimulate parts of the body in erotic ways.Always use safety first on anyone with anyone,have a pair of scissors close by incase it gets too tight..
    Making a body harness:
    ..

    In shibari, a rope harness that wraps around the torso is called a "karada." While some forms of shibari are highly ritualized, with specific names given to different styles of knot and different parts of the harness, a more relaxed and informal style of rope bondage is a lot of fun. The simple karada shown above is very easy to make, as this tutorial will show.

    A basic karada can be made with a length of rope about 25' long.. Next entry in the journal will have the conclusion


    8/8/2007 12:53:34 PM
    Intimidation:

    Its sounds like a insult doesn't it .. Its not.. I have been called the Intimidator many times by Doms in the late 1990s till 2005, and the reason is simple, I catch on to the wannabes quicker than most. I tend to ask questions all the time because its what I see in a persons' mind and their heart, that is my turn on..If they don't want to talk or can find the time to talk then they are NOT interested in your mind just your body and you might as well tell them to leave a tip by the bed on their way out..I love debates,I love to talk not about this lifestyle but other things,life,you, anything that comes into my mind.. I believe it is needed to grow with someone.. If I am a Intimidator then I am glad to have that title and I will wear it proudly..ITs always nice to communicate very much. I like to know what a person thinks all the time,it helps me to learn and to feel more comfortable with that person,if I feel comfortable enough,then I will meet them face to face.. There is one that is local I wanted to meet very much,but something came up and He was unable too meet me..If that happened he should of made another date to meet instead disappeared.. Its always a shame people can't take you beyond a computer screen maybe some have to play online with peoples emotions and heart but I never found that reason enough to do so..If they can't be with you at the syubs/slaves' time and place then they aren't worth the time and communication..It is OUR choice as subs/slaves to do the meeting when the time is right,then if we found that One compatible enough then we will ask  that One to be Our choice.. But is it our time,our place and our emotions that get us either happy or sad,we make that decision..We all live our lives one day at a time some plan ahead some are impulsive and some are just slow and too cautious,being cautious is great but if you are toooooooo cautious you may lose someone who may be ready to make that move forward. Be cautious but in doubt always ask and talk more when you are ready you will know..I was too cautyious and lost a few but then it was best because they were players who had no hearts and minds and I am seeking both.. smiles take care and live  in communication ,,,,daily.. smiling  serenity

    8/5/2007 4:39:21 PM
    Good news a dear friend of mine online (switch)and I have lost poundssssssss... I lost a total of 4 pounds in 3 weeks,and he lost 3 pounds in a week.. This is great.. I am going on for more and he is also..I am getting to enjoy this exercise and starting to feel better about myself.. My hair is still long too long(even with my butt) tho ,been tempted into cutting it all off,but I'll just put it up for now .. So on to next week lets see if I can lose more I started off at 263 I am now 259.....and to me it is great that I am able to do so without surgery or starvation.. I hope more join me to make next year a new year and healthier and much better year..  good luck  and stay SSC always serenity

    8/4/2007 6:41:23 PM
    Instead of my finishing up on my 5th Chapter I wanted to say something that has bothered me somewhat in Dominant profiles..Why on earth would any Dominant think a woman wants strict pain,abuse everyday? My Goodness Being a Dominant isnt being a beater or abuser everyday. What happened to the soft and sweet and leadership in the Dominant side..Boys,, its a lifestyle role not a definite new person remade..Be nice and a gentleman and be you not roleplayer 24/7 its impossibe to be. I ,myself would not want a 24/7 365 days a year Dominant role player everywhere I went,now the man in the Dominant suit is another thing..In the beginning all males were born leaders to be,it was up to them to change and be that or whatever they chose to be but you all were born to be a MAN,a real Man..Why not say what type of Man you are instead of what you can be in your profiles.. So many try but if you focus on realization  then you will get such... Think about it.. This is my opinion only I am sorry to ruffle feathers if so be but I say it as I see it.. I won't hold any punches back.. Have a wonderful weekend  and THINK!!!  serenity

    8/3/2007 1:52:18 PM
    Ok here it is my writings on this
    Chapter 5 in Bondage....Please be patient with me I am doing this as I  remember it as it is..I need coffee!!!! Ok here we go this will cover I hope the essentials in this topic...It may continue to tomorrow,but I hope I can do it if not forgive me......

    Bondage

    Rope bondage like any other form of consensual BDSM/Ds/Ms needs to be done safely. Each person involved needs to take personal responsibility for their participation in this and all activities. Bottoms need to discuss and clear with the Top any physical limitations and/or health issues and concerns they may have; Tops need to ask about the same. I am not going to discuss all the facets of negotiating a scene.

    Safety--Preventions and solutions!!!

    1. Check in with the bound partner and frequently monitor the situation. You’re tying up a human being and they are fragile. I would like to use a negotiation list for things like this that require caution.

    2. Provide an emotionally safe space for your partner so they check in with you when they feel there may be a problem occurring.This means don't go far.

    3. In committing the act of bondage on a person you must be prepared to cut the ropes in case of an emergency.   Using EMT safety scissors is the best option. A knife or other good scissors will work but risk injury themselves. Emergency lighting of some sort, like a flashlight, should be handy in case of  power outages.

    4. Struggling in tight rope poses particular risks.  Struggling hard against the rope can cause exterior skin damage as well as rub nerves raw.  Once tingling begins it is time to remove the rope causing the problem.  Sometime it’s as simple as adjusting a portion of the rope to alleviate the trouble.  If symptoms persist remove all of the ropes.

    5.   Suspension carries additional risks.  Special care must be taken not to drop the subject.  The Rope Master must be conscious at all times of tightening or loosening any rope(s).  It is possible to dislocate joints or cause any number of injuries if the ropes slip, break or are removed in the incorrect order.

    6.   In removing ropes in an emergency start with the ropes compressing on any problem areas provided they are not required for support. If the problem ropes are necessary for support remove them and stabilize the bottom before proceeding to loosen the ropes causing the emergency.  Remove the ropes that will get the subjects feet on the ground without dropping them.  Generally ropes need to come off in the opposite order in which they were put on.  Every situation is different and a good amount of thought needs to be given to taking the ropes off even as they are being put on.

    7.  Furniture or architectural accoutrements like eyebolts and/or beams used for bondage need to be structurally sound.
    My goodness I seen many mistakes in this topic and I seen many falls and broken bones because they wanted to use suspension and the eyebolt wasnt intact properly.. So sad but you have to double check anything and everything  always or you may be paying for a long hospital stay..  Tomorrow I will try to remember the lengths of ropes and types to use for Bondage.. stay tunes. and always be SSC,..in all choices..  serenity


    8/2/2007 8:59:17 PM
    It has came to my attention  someone doesnt like my name because I am fat not little. Maybe I don't like the word slave/sub on a persons name or how fake their profile is or geez even the disrespect they show by even questioning my 10 year old name I have used online . I will explain what my name means for everyone to know and understand.. lilserenity is  what I created it is a name in which that means  lil serenity ,a peaceful mind,a peaceful existence in living..I created this name because  at the time I was not fat I was very slim,and I felt good with myself and my mind..Plus I had a Master who I adored and loved...Now as I got older and have no Master,it still gives me great peace of mind and people know me as I am and those I have met  know me more..People do alot of things to get attention I donot I donot care if I get attention,or a Master.. If it is meant to be it will happen,but not here. I have other areas on the web I go to..I come here to help others as I have been asked by my many friends  and  even curious friends... I didnt get fat because I am lazy Im far from that I got fat because I was laid up for two months in the hospital came out and couldnt move  around very much or walk very well..I had a TV or video game system to amuse me..While I was rehabbing I was trying to find  out why I should go on with life,knowing with all the negative there is a positive in life.. So now Im fine except losing this weight and I will lose alot more..I am real now are you? I had to write this because  I was questioned about why Im fat with a name  lil on it.. Shame so many bored and looking for something to do..I only wonder what would of happened if I was a Domme would I been questioned ? smiling  I wonder.. hmmm be well and Real and SSC serenity

    8/1/2007 9:07:05 PM
    I am going to do more research on the next Chapter (5) which is on Bondage.. What I know is alot of ways one can be bind..Either by hoods,mummification,or ropes there are many ways and I want to get these ways down right..This may take up a few nights just to list the techniques on how to do bondage to different types of bondage.. I will get them down right for you.. So I will start listing them tomorrow night . Please be patient with me.. I will get this done,and right.. smiling thank you  and good night serenity

    8/1/2007 8:11:26 PM
    ok here is the ratings I did on losing my weight..in exact  239 minutes,in a 20 minute a day exercise\1310 calories,burned/27.8 miles on my bike/and the carbs I burned was 327.28.So I lost a total of 2 pounds. This was in a two week diet of Low carbs...This doesnt sound like a big deal but for me it was and I am continuing it for another two weeks...I am doing different things each week to see where I lose the most at. So heres what I promised..




    Chapter 5 coming up..   serenity

    8/1/2007 1:53:08 PM
    ok this won't sound like much but surprised me even through all the hard work I have been in doing this weight loss. I lost 2 pounds. I have a best friend who lost 1 pound and my son lost 4. They went on same diet at same time with me.... This was a low carb diet I went on,NO sugar,bread,flour,anything breaded,candy plus 1/2 gallon a water a day o me only 1/2 because i don't like water too well and  my body will retain it..I will get my statistics tonight meaning miles I biked,calories I lost and minutes I exercised a day. I myself have taken the liberty to try a new thing I lost once from this and hopefully it will help me faster.. I know patience but Im anxious for that bathing suit I have in mind..So later  I thought I would tell the people who have stayed with me during this I hope I didnt disappoint anyone too bad,But I am happy about it ...

    7/31/2007 6:17:47 PM
    Chapter 4:   This is the Chapter many look forward too.. I hope it is to your liking.....


    Chapter 4 - Reward and Punishment


    This point is where many D/s relationships fall to pieces. Overpunishment for minor infractions, non-acknowledged good deeds, and ignoring wrong action cause the affinity in the relationship to break down. The roles of both Dom and sub are fairly rigid; the duties of both well understood. When a Dom doesn't punish major infractions, or ignores correct action by his sub, the agreements made at the beginning of the relationship are broken. It is here that a Dom shows his true colors. The Dom should be in control not only of his sub, but himself as well.

    At the beginning of a D/s relationship, the Dom and sub may agree on a long list of correct and incorrect actions, but if the Dom does not remember them, the sub is "getting over" on the Dom, and in the process, losing respect for the Dom's power. It would be better to have only a few rules at the start, then as time progresses, expand them as the relationship grows.

    Overcorrecting is also poor. If the Dom is cruel or vicious, the sub will only do what is required out of fear of punishment. Over time, the sub will have no desire to please the Dom, and the Dom will suddenly realize they have no real control over the sub.Please remember this..

    Punishment is a tool to correct wrong or no action by the sub. It should never be done in anger! This is a very important point. When you punish in anger, real injury can occur, safewords are nullified, and limits do not exist. This is a very dangerous situation. The Dom who punishes in anger is moving into the area of abuse. In D/s, the Dom cares about the feelings of the sub. It is very difficult to have empathy when you are angry. Pain is not the end all and be all of a D/s relationship. It is just one more tool at the disposal of the Dom to guarantee the rules are complied with.

    Punishment does not even have to include pain. Movement restrictive bondage, humiliation, harsh words, or even a look can punish the sub. Privileges can be removed such as not being allowed to sit on the furniture, or by the Dom forcing the sub to sleep at the foot of the bed. There are many ways to punish incorrect actions. Save the severe stuff for major infractions. If you beat a dog every day, all you get is an angry, uncontrollable dog. The same goes for a sub, and an angry sub is much more hazardous than an angry dog. Punishment is always followed by reward when the sub corrects the infraction. The sub must be allowed to make up the damage, and then it is forgiven.

    Rewards show the sub that the Dom is pleased. It is a tangible show of love and caring from the Dom to the sub for a correct action. This is the true power of the Dom. The reward can be a kiss, a caress, flowers, a short note, or even a long, tender session of lovemaking. Rewards given to the sub shows that the Dom is thinking of them, and cares for their well being. It acknowledges their proper behavior and reinforces it. This is how the Dom creates in the sub the willingness to please him. A happy sub will do anything to ensure the happiness of the Dom, and will avoid actions that disappoint. I  have found if a sub/slave is not happy another Dominant can have her released,BUT it has to be for abuse,blood,cutting,or not listening t a safeword...Many have done this and I ,myself have also  a few years back..Just because this is a way of life You are not allowed to step out of bounds with your partner.. Again listen to limits again... Take care with hugs  serenity
     

    7/30/2007 8:11:01 PM
    I will have my weight done tomorrow night . Definitely..

    7/30/2007 2:33:17 PM
    Chapter 3 - Dominance and Submission Roles




    Note: In this chapter and henceforth, I will be referring to Masters and Doms as Doms. Likewise, slaves and subs will be called subs.

    In order for any venture to be successful, there must be basic guidelines. I understand that every couple is different, and no two D/s relationships are the same. Nevertheless, basic agreements exists, or else you go outside the boundaries of what is considered a D/s relationship. Every couple will have their own set of agreements, however, I feel there are some that are universal.
    1. No actual injury should occur to the sub. That does not suggest that spankings, discipline and correction do not occur, they just are not calculated to produce real injury, either to body or mind. In D/s, pain is sometimes used to correct behavior, or as a pleasurable experience depending on the people involved. It is not the central focus of the relationship.
    2. Pre-agreed limits. It is simply an agreement on what the Dom and sub will and will not do. These limits are different for all couples. A pre-agreed limit is simply the boundaries established by the relationship. As an example, some couples put a limit on other people joining them for a scene. It is important to discuss honestly with each other what your personal limits are before beginning a D/s relationship. These are lines that are not crossed without at least some discussion beforehand. These boundaries do change with time as the relationship progresses.
    3. The sub should have a "safeword", or something they can say to halt the present time activity. The safeword is a word that is understood by both parties to mean that action needs to stop. It could be that the sub is in great pain, or the Dom wants to clarify a situation outside of the action he is engaged in. Usually, it is that a line is being crossed that was not discussed in the pre-agreed limits, but just now came up. D/s is supposed to be enjoyed by both parties. Limits and safewords are type of guarantee that things don't get out of control on either side. If the couple are in the middle of a caning, and the sub is having a problem with the situation, the safeword is used to stop the action. When the safeword is spoken, the action must stop at that moment. This will allow the Dom and sub to discuss what the problem is, or correct a painful or dangerous situation outside the "scene".
    Communication between the Dom and sub is crucial to a successful D/s relationship. The sub must be willing to talk about their feelings and the Dom must be receptive. The Dom also must be conscious of the non-verbal cues the sub gives. For a satisfying D/s relationship, it helps to have an underlying affinity for the other partner. The Dom is attempting to perfect their sub to their ideal of what the sub should be. The sub must want that goal, too. If either of these points do not exist, the D/s can degrade into an abusive relationship, or the partners go off, dissatisfied. D/s is for the mutual enjoyment of both partners. Limits and safewords assist in ensuring both parties experience pleasure, and neither gives up all control.

    Over time the use of safewords and limits may diminish, however many couples in a long term relationship still use them.

    7/30/2007 9:03:17 AM
    Before I go to Chapter 3 I want to help those who have emailed me looking for a soulmate 2000 miles away from home.. I will help you make your search easier .....

    Go to Home and in middle of page there is a what type person you are seeking,state,city and anything else you need.. Type in or select the type of person and type in state and type in your city then click search .. This will help anyone looking for their soulmate to be closer to them and its 100% quicker.. always type state and city always and type person sub,slave,switch.Dom/me..There won't be any mistakes made this way.. Take care I wil be on next page for the beginning of the lifestyle Chapter 3  soon..

    7/29/2007 1:24:53 PM

    Chapter 2 - The Titles as They are Used




    Although it may seem through outward appearances that all the power in the relationship flows from the Dom or Master to the sub or slave, this is somewhat misleading. The players in a D/s relationship, no matter which side they are on, are equals to a certain degree. Both sides have power, but in different ways. The Dom may have ultimate authority, but the sub is the one who initiates most actions.

    To prevent any misunderstanding between players, they should understand the difference between a Dom and a Master, and a submissive and a slave.

    The Dominant, or Dom
    "Many inexperienced Doms believe that all that is required is simply ordering your sub around as you choose. It's not. There's much more to be said about what being a good Dom requires." (Rex99, 7/21/95, AOL)

    Domination is not just giving random orders. A good Dom will find a way to cause the sub to desire pleasing the Dom. A Dom, or Dominant, is the protector, teacher, and lover to the sub.

    As the protector, the Dom must be a) stronger than the sub, and b) stronger than other people in the life of the sub. This does not mean that he has to be physically bigger or stronger. I am talking about character and personality.

    As the teacher, the Dom must be wise and, above all, right. The Dom should not arbitrarily punish the sub on a whim. There must be a reason. To do otherwise will break down the trust and security of the sub. The Dom has to be respected by the sub. Respect is a quality that is earned by the Dom being right, and issuing swift, correct justice and reward to the sub. The Dom is not there to inflict pain and degradation on the sub, but to give the sub a goal and a direction on how to love and please him.

    As the lover, the Dom is loving and, when appropriate, stern. He must recognize that he is the only source of pleasure for the sub. He must see to it that this area is not neglected. The Dom should, when appropriate, be gentle, supportive, and tender to the sub. A Dom/sub relationship is not just about overpowering. It is about the Dom caring for the well-being of the sub. If punishment is required to stop a destructive action by the sub, then it comes from the Dom. On the other hand, when correct action has been noted by the Dom, love and caring should come from him to the sub.

    The Master
    The Master is a higher gradient of control in D/s. The Master follows the same rules as a Dom, but in a stricter sense. The Master can have a slave, but may also call their slave a sub. The slave is owned or "collared" by the Master. The Master considers the slave a possession, but a highly valuable and loved one, the most valuable thing he owns. Offenses against the rules laid out by the Master are dealt with more severely, in most circumstances. Still, the Master, when pleased, flows great love and caring to his slave. The Master is also more protective of his slave because the slave is totally dependent on the Master.

    The Submissive, or sub
    To be sure, the slave serves; the Master receives. But that does not mean that the slave has no sense of self, or self-worth. Her needs are real, and she should leave a relationship where her needs are not met." (Rex99, 7/21/95, AOL)

    The role of the submissive appears to be somewhat simpler, but in actuality, the sub plays a large role in shaping the D/s relationship. The sub's primary role is to follow her Dom's directions and to please the Dom. Being submissive does not mean that the sub is a doormat for the Dom. The sub is the Dom's companion, his student, and his lover.

    As a companion, the sub is treated with respect and dignity, is allowed to voice opinions, and allowed to share in the Dom's activities. This is the area where the sub is the most equal with the Dom.

    As a student, the sub learns how to please the Dom, and when done, expects to be rewarded by the Dom. Likewise, when not done or done incorrectly, the sub expects to be corrected and shown the right way to act.

    As a lover, the sub goes out of their way to please the Dom because they genuinely care for the well being of the Dom. The sub does this, not out of fear of pain or retribution, but because they wants to give the Dom pleasure. The sub does not want the Dom to be disappointed with them. The sub takes pleasure from the fact that the Dom is pleased.

    The slave
    The slave is a higher gradient of submissiveness in D/s. A slave's primary purpose in life is to serve the needs and desires of the Master. The slave relinquishes all control to the Master, because the slave knows the Master has her well-being totally at heart. The slave is marked by her Master in some fashion to show ownership. This can be done with a tattoo, a piercing, or even a physical collar. The Master/slave relationship tends to be more of a lifetime commitment to each other than a typical Dom/sub relationship. The slave is held to a higher standard of conduct and compliance than a typical sub, due to the fact that the slave has given control of their life to the Master.
     


    7/29/2007 1:10:52 PM
    Before i go to Chapter2 I want to express something.. It is better never to BS than to try.. If you try to BS then you are going nowhere..I don't want money,I don't want a new car,I don't want material things  never that isnt what life is made of . Life is deeper than any material thing.. It has to be red ,to run through your veins to help you live.. It is life It is reality.. Nothing can buy life.. So why waste  your life if you aren't going to be sincere and honest with a person who truly cares and feels deep for you.. I will never figure out humans but I know about life. I live each day to be able to touch tomorrow..And you can't buy tomorrow and you can't return today you just have to live it and breathe it..This was a thought I had today and thought I would express  it as best as I could..Hope I did well.. smiling...Now to Chapter 2..

    7/28/2007 6:27:26 PM
    Well here I am  starting with the standards of BDSM,/D/s..Each day I will place each step as it is to learn by..So

    I know some people know these but recheck on them again..We just want to get it right ..




    Chapter 1 -The Basic Definitions





    Dominance  and Submission are not to be confused with Sadomasochism. To make this more clear, I am including these basic definitions. They are taken from the American Heritage Dictionary.
    1. Bondage - 2) A state of subjection to a force, power or influence. It comes from the Old English word bonda, which means husbandman (farmer)
    2. Dominant - 1) Exercising the most influence or control; governing. 2) Most prominent in position or prevalence; ascendant. Comes from Old French and Latin dominans, to dominate.
    3. Dominate - 1) To control, govern or rule by superior authority or power. Comes from Latin dominari, to rule > dominus, lord.
    4. Submissive - comes from Submit.
    5. Submit - 1) To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another. 2) To subject to a condition or process. 3) To yield to the opinion or authority of another; give in. 4) To allow oneself to be subjected; acquiesce. Comes from Middle English submitten > Latin submittere, to set under: sub=under + mittere=to cause to go.
    6. Sadism - 1) The perversion of deriving sexual satisfaction from the infliction of pain on others. 2) Delight in cruelty. 3) Extreme cruelty. Comes from Comte Donatien de Sade (1740-1814)
    7. Masochism - 1) An abnormal condition in which sexual excitement and satisfaction depend largely on being subjected to abuse or physical pain, whether by oneself or another. Comes from Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, Austrian novelist (1836-1895)
    8. Sadomasochism - 1) The perversion of taking pleasure, especially sexual gratification from simultaneous sadism and masochism.
    If you ignore the terms "perversion" and "abnormal" in the above definitions, you can still see that nowhere in the definition of dominate or submit do you have pain as an integral part. It is a difference in gradients and intent. I am not saying that S&M is wrong, bad or undesirable. It is just a much higher gradient than D/s, and may be too intense for the beginner. Some people may confuse heavy D/s with S&M. They are two very different things.
     

    7/27/2007 9:55:51 AM
    Im sure you're curious what I am going to get into today hmm well lets see..I see some Dominants have changed their profiles and stated exactly what they are seeking except the obvious wannabe looking for someone to share a thrill with.. I want to thank you All for the change; Now maybe you'll receive more positive than negatives and blocks and ignores..I enjoy stating my mind and thoughts daily. The players who wrote me  don't anymore. Meaning they know now Im not a stupid woman/B word..I had someone join my website that knew me 9 years ago here online when the lifestyle was real and surfaced and not underground as it is now.. They wanted to join to finish what they started,learning so I approved them..I know everyone can't learn this lifestyle all in one day so I want to go  from now on with articles I wrote about the lifestyle and steps into it if you are serious about being involved.. If not then go away and don't read it.. I want those who want to go that one step further and meet offline and I want to help those that do want too..This is a safe lifestyle if used safely..So many have been hurt to badly abused,placed in hospital even died in this lifestyle yet people treat it as a game or headgame..Its not a game and when I was a child it was very serious to where I was taught about bloodsports and it was applied daily,but back then I had noone to where today there are people everywhere that are safecalls and there for you when you make that first meeting..So after today i will be placing from my knowledge and writings all I know to share with those who want to move on and be happy in real life.. Being online is unsatisfactory and is useless..Thats why there are porn sites it was started by people like many here that want to cybersex,are married,talk on cam, there are so many ways people chose not to be R/L but in the lifestyle it is essential to Us that are in the lifestyle..Our lives are so different than those here that are just casuals and players..It only last a short time for those,but for Us it lasts a lifestime..So tomorrow will be the introduction to the lifestyle.. Hope you make the right choice in life and not waste what was given to you,heart,mind,soul and body...be well serenity

    7/26/2007 8:52:35 AM
    CHANGING SEARCH PREFERENCES FOR ALL!!!!

    Well well well I see we have a problem here in the lifestyle world.. It has came to my attention that we have some very picky ,stuck on themelves Dominants.. I find that is true. Im not going to say anything because I have noone far from it I'm going to state from my heart and everyone elses hearts.. It has come to my attention that Dominants have turned picky this is NOT how the community is made in D/s,BDSM,M/s or any type. These players are playing and want people that don't exists. I'm sorry to say I have found more subs,slaves,switches more compassionate and caring more than these so called wannabe,nevergoingtobe Dominants. So I  will ask allllllllll the subs,slaves,switches to rethink what you are seeking again,start looking for those who share the same as you all do,We don't need Dominants with attitude problems and stuck up and picky.. We are better than they are plus we are human also. I have my own website(10 years) if you care to join and start topics and learning there. I'm not going to advertise anything I am going to help and nothing more ...I have learned if you find same as you are, that enjoy such things and you meet and get along great you will see that anything can happen and wildly and erotic.. So rethink your minds and strategies. We don't need to be bossed by wannabes.. I never got on my knees online and not starting.. Oh and if they want to cam wth you DON"T that keeps them from being real and meeting in real life.. This upsets me and I was asked to do this writing and so I thought about it and did some reading profiles here.. My goodness the fakes that are here are more than we have soldiers across seas. Shame  maybe they'll make this back into the vanilla site it once was before a playground.. I may come back and add more I am just too upset..Not crying just aggravated because some people just don't give a Darn..  serenity

    7/25/2007 12:53:25 PM
    I am still losing weight and dieting so I'm very edgy, not mean edgy just edgy wanting to do something but don't know what.. I have spring cleaned, summer cleaned up and fall cleaned,even cleaned out closets and washed some walls down why I have no idea. I grill in my kitchen so maybe I will clean the grill again for outside use coming up in September on Labor day..I rode my bike 2.8 miles last night did great, lost 130 calories and burned 32.5 all in 25 minutes..I found some graham crackers I could only eat one grrrr so I did.. But made up for it  with my chicken salad.. I made chicken breasts last night with mango and oranges marinaded in adobo and had some left over so I used it for my salad and was very good.. Tonight I want a eggwhite omelet filled with cream cheese,mushrooms,turkey breast sliced up..topped with turkey bacon the best bacon I ever ate..So thats my life today  maybe it will be more alive and more relaxed after I get through my emails oh a few of the emails I tossed as I mentioned yesterday so I am still available lol.. I decided they were all players anyway so lets eat lolol... after my 3 months Im going to eat all I can eat king crab legs to celebrate my loss..So later and stay well and happy ... serenity

    7/24/2007 9:04:53 PM
    Lets see what was in my emails today(Tuesday) I got one proposal  and one  that says im  caught then another says lets meet and go from there,then another for dinner and wine,well the wine is out no alcohol for me on any date unless Im staying at home..I know the bad things that can happen from driving and drinking...All of these in a day. Busy huh? Well I can't say that yet.. I don't know what Im going to do I won't lie to any of them.. All I can do is talk to the each and then decide on meeting or chatting first..One just got back in town I been waiting to talk too now he's back maybe we can talk but I'm not sure now I want to go any further with Him..In his words I felt a well I had to wrote you so I am interested in you and want to meet you..type email.. I can't just up and meet without knowing anyone.. I have my mind focused on One person right now,I can't make a wrong decision to know one wthout knowing more.. So I may just chat more and see where it takes me..If I feel its right I will meet Him if not then I will say so..But I have to go with my feelings first..Or just wait and see..This is how i learned about patience by being patient alot.. So I will let you all know what I will do..One I am definite about is a player this I already know,actions speak louder than words. smiling....take care and be SSC always serenity

    7/23/2007 8:25:42 AM
    Sharing One anothers Heart..

    I am speaking with one who I find very intriguing and very sweet..He is a Dominant  and is very nice and is a friend to me.. How do you just know that someone is right for you? Can you feel it or do you just jump in say hey you're mine I want a collar.. I like to feel a person first and see if I can be comfortable and feel his thoughts and His total mind.. Being polite is essential but not an too important factor not to this one...I use my heart 98% of the time,for decisions,my seeking another,my friends,or just people around me...# years ago I walked into a formal room wearing my evening gown to accept my award for being a Top poet worldwide.. I didnt know anyone but  there was 100's of people worldwide with papers in hand and coats,purses,bulletins... I was so afraid but I was going to receive my hearts' awards.. I gfot up on stage  and I was shaking but I had to do this  and did fine. I had to read a few of my favorite poems in front of these people I didnt know...And I received my hugh silver poet award trophy and a bronze medallion for 2004 World Poet.. It was a honor and a privilege,but it came from my heart every time I think I ask my heart what do I do..A Dominant Heart hmmm.. Sounds good to me and if anything can be Dominant it is my Heart..Share your heart daily,what you say or decide comes from your heart,then to your mind,but your heart always wins if not then it was second guessed and a mistake was made..If it feels good it is right,if your judgement is cloudy take more time and feel  the situation better.. Don't ever jump if you aren't sure about something, you will make a mistake and you will only blame yourself because you didn't think it through..So feel first then think let your heart and mind become best friends together...If you let them fight against one another it will only make you confused and nothing will be done.. So feel and think... Take care    serenity

    7/22/2007 2:40:58 PM
    I am not going to bore anyone today Im sure  many are busy resting up for tomorrow.. I don't have any peeves or problems in anything excpet finding my one..It seems to me in my opinion they say hi and ask a few questions and just disappear,is this being nosy or just curious if I have anyone in my life.. If I have anyone in my life I will state such,but that is a long way off. I went back to my other site and started talking to other people but I have found noone serious enough to be happy. Sad but true it seems it takes a alot to be happy, me it would take being together to be happy in everything,almost ..I have to say I need my space sometimes to do my writings but you would also need your space.. Its so difficult to fit someone who fits you...I look to fit someone not myself..I cannot understand many things I have been in searches for 10 years this June..And I have met several but before we meet i ask questions as they do but when we meet  we still don't fit..Maybe something is not mentioned or the pictures are old and look too good..I will ask for a newer picture if I see it is old and not updated.. I cannot meet anyone who cannot be honest and upfront...Meaning if they post a picture here or anywhere I would expect it to be a new updated one not a picture that is yellow or blurred... People don't understand I am not looking for their looks im looking for their honesty a big difference.. If you can't be honest in presenting yourself then I am not interested in you.. I had my life once almost lost because of false pretensions and I don't want to do it again so I am very inquisitive and very cautious.. So here is my thoughts for today and I hope everyone enjoys my mind.. It holds alot more things to bring out... It pays to have a IQ of 117.. smiling.. be well serenity

    7/21/2007 6:27:07 PM
     
    An Unconditional Gift
                    Kindness !!!

    In the quest to create a gentler, more loving world, kindness is the easiest tool we can use. This I can vouche for..Though it is easy to overlook opportunities to be kind, our lives are replete with situations in which we can be helpful, considerate, thoughtful, and friendly to loved ones and associates, as well as strangers. The touching, selfless acts of kindness that have the most profoundly uplifting effects are often the simplest: a word of praise, a gentle touch, a helping hand, a gesture of courtesy, or a smile or online a email will work. Such small kindnesses represent an unconditional, unrestricted form of love that we are free to give or withhold at will. When you give the gift of kindness, whether in the form of assistance, concern, or friendliness, your actions create a beacon of happiness and hope that warms people's hearts.

    The parts of kindness are compassion, respect, and generosity. Put simply, kindness is the conscious act of engaging others in a positive way without asking whether those individuals deserve to be treated kindly. All living beings thrive on kindness. A single, sincere compliment can turn a person's entire world around. Holding a door or thanking someone who has held a door for you can inspire others to practice politeness and make already kind individuals feel good about their efforts. Smiling at people you meet-even those who make you feel like frowning-can turn a dreary encounter into a delightful one, for both of you. Every kind act has a positive influence on the individual who has performed said act as well as on the recipient, regardless of whether the act is acknowledged. Kindness brings about more kindness and slowly but surely takes a positive toll on humanity.

    When you weave a thread of kindness in your everyday life it can be as easy as choosing to offer a hearty "Good morning" and "Good night" to your coworkers or neighbors, a stranger on the street, or the grocery store clerk or online friends or closer friends... When you commit a kind act, you are momentarily disconnected from your ego and bonded with the individual who has benefited from your kindness. Being fully present in each moment of your life facilitates kindness as it increases your awareness of the people around you. You'll discover that each act of kindness you engage in makes the world, in some small way, a better place. I feel if you show kindness to one it will spread throughout the world one way or another and be returned  twicefold.. .. Just try and see if I am right until then be well and happy always,, serenity


    7/21/2007 9:41:21 AM
    ok heres my update so far in a 5 day loss..

    Calories :609 burned
    Carbs:152.25 burned
    Miles on exercise bike: 12.9

    and yes i was told ( I wasn't allowed to see what I weighed now)I lost weight but my weigh in is in two weeks on Monday July 30th so hopefully these will triple.. I hope.. thanks for the lovely emails I received last night,means alot...  Be back soon with another article as soon as I write are there any suggestions if so please email me and let me know Im sure I can give you my opinion as close as right as I can be..I will be having a poem day I would like all the poets to send me their best (lifestyle or vanilla all is welcome)and i will list them here for all to read with your names on them..They are always yours to keep..I have over 500 poems i have wrote so if I find a few I like alot i will let you know where you can get it copyrighted in your own name(real or nic).. All of mine are..So start writing and using those calories lolololol.. I am  talk soon.. hugs   serenity

    7/20/2007 5:36:14 PM


    Centering yourself in a relationship::::::
    One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You're in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express faith and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.
    If you have to do something important don't lose sight of your partner,best friend,lover,wife,husband,friend.. They worry and care also.. They do exist in YOUR world as well as you do in theirs.. So enjoy and take care and always..  smile...serenity


    7/20/2007 7:38:56 AM
    My BS list is growing as I am not here but in emails.. I have received a few saying add me in yahoo then when i do they ask if i have a cam.. I say no they disappear.. Shame too.. That one is definite a BS'er..I see some have returned to only be added.. My If you want a cam conversation list it in your profile that way noones' time is wasted..But hey its a players' paradise and they dont know about respect and consideration..I see the biggest BS'er is back as well. It will be a matter of time before he says hi.. But I will hope not..Anyway my weight is going down  and i will be weighing myself every Monday that way I can see if im making progress and share with those who do care. Thank you all for being my inspiration and motivation..Means alot during this tough time. I am going 4 miles every night on my exercise bike and on a low carb diet..I am burning 40 calories too at same time.. So Im doing it just hope it works... Talk later and Look out for those BS'ers make a list too and we'll combine when i am totally back.. Thanks and hugs   serenity

    7/18/2007 11:32:18 AM
    well Im doing my water and fruits and veggies .. I feel Im making progress but not sure yet..as long as I train myself to eat right and  do my exercise bicycle every night for 20 minutes then I will be ok..So I will write in a few days  take care hugs and thank you for asking and wondering..

    7/16/2007 4:12:24 PM
    I now have lost 3 pounds in two days  so Im doing great so far but long way to go.. so take care everyone  hugs   serenity

    7/14/2007 7:38:11 AM
    I am going to be busy for next month.. I am up for a 10 pound loss so I got a month to do it  so with much water and salads I will do this I hope..I need to be in better shape if I am going to be accepted anywhere so now I have a goal to do it again..But only 10 pounds  in a month..That will leave me with 30 pounds to lose..But if i can do this I can do anything this will be my toughest test..So I may come in to write here about my progress or changes.. So wish me luck I will need it at my age smiling. But whats age .. lolol....hugs to all   serenity

    7/12/2007 7:47:00 AM
    A TRUE Submissive.. I signed in and saw a profile seeking a true submissive.. Funny to me that even tho we never met face to face you had a chance to be with a real true submissive,but you chose a player at the time and yet you're back looking again. Heartbreaking isn't it thinking you may have been right to chose one who was a player only be wrong to push the real submissive away. So how can a sub/slave leave their life in your hands if you are incapable of making a right decision? Good question huh?.....It seems to me that a true submissive is only true if met in person...But people want barbie dolls and top models .. I'm sorry to tell you this but even they need manicures and pedicures and daily hair pampering..So who is the submissive Mr. Dom..Being a true submissive is a deep thing it is emerging from the woman and surrendering her all,love,trust,respect,everything her body holds . It is her freeing herself to a person who would be responsible enough to hold,love,cherish and trust her/him...How many can say they were real slave,how many have gotten dirt under their nails,or have no nails,lack of self-respect,but they are the ones that have been there and know what a true submission is...I was 5 years old when I started to learned to build things,use power tools  my favorite is the circular saw. I love the sleekness in it..I learned to take care of a 5 acre garden and harvest it and take it and sell the veggies or can them,how to wax a floor and strip it but  on my hands and knees I did it..How to use a wringer washer and hang clothes daily and iron the clothes afterwards.I even went to school but before school gather eggs and feed the chickens. All these chores and more were done daily every minute I had I was working ..There was no time for TV, or friends,or to go shopping ..My clothes were made I wore them to school no matter how bad they looked I had to wear what was made. THis is a slaves' life until I was 19 years old.. And when I was punished well it was too deep to describe but I will say bloodsports was included... So if you are looking for a TRUE submissive look for the slave first, see if they have or can be able to work for their keep,their place beside you,the Dom/me.Nothing is free but your heart,mind,body and soul that is all that is free. Use them to stay strong,wise,loved,and needed.. Being what we choose is more than words, its a life .. Even if you don't know how  start doing some research and discovering who you really are. Don't state what you aren't ..You may get more than you wanted and more work than you're use too..Good luck.. You only live once do it in truth and honesty to yourself first.. smiles take care  serenity

    7/10/2007 8:20:19 PM


    A submissive's Bill of Rights::::::::::::::

    You have the right to be treated with respect. Not only do you have this right, you have the right to demand it. Being submissive does not make you a doormat or less of a person than anyone else. The word "submissive" describes your nature and in no way diminishes you as a human being. You have the right to respect yourself as well.

    You have the right to be proud of what you are. Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring you shame or feelings of reproach. Your submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness.

    You have the right to feel safe. Being a submissive should not make you feel afraid, insecure or threatened. Submission is not about living on the edge or flirting with fear. In any situation you should feel safe or there can never be true surrender.

    You have the right to your emotions and feelings. Your emotions and feelings come from you and they are just as valid as anyone else's. You have a right to them. Those feelings, whether positive or negative, make you who you are and suppressing them will only bring unhappiness later.

    You have the right to express your negative feelings. Being submissive does not make you an object that no longer has negative thoughts or concerns.Your concerns are real and you have every right to express them. If something doesn't feel right, bothers you, makes you feel bad or you just plain don't like something, say so. Failing to express your negative feelings could give the mistaken impression that you are pleased or satisfied with something that is not pleasurable or agreeable.

    You have the right to say NO. Being submissive does not take away your right to have dislikes or negative feelings about things. If something is happening or about to happen that you feel strongly opposed to, it's your duty to speak up. Remember, failing to communicate the word NO is the same as saying YES.

    You have the right to expect happiness in life. Being submissive is not tantamount to being miserable, suffering or a life of despair. Your submission should bring you joy, peace and fulfillment. If it doesn't, then something is wrong.

    You have the right to have input in a relationship. You are an active partner in any relationship you enter and have every right to contribute to it. You are submissive, not passive. A relationship that doesn't include your needs, thoughts, hopes and desires is not one you should be in to begin with. This applies to friendships, partnerships and D/s relationships.

    You have the right to belong. Being submissive greatly involves the feeling of belonging. Many submissives have expressed that it was in discovering their submissive nature that they felt as through they "belonged" for the first time in their lives. You belong to the lifestyle and will eventually belong to the One. It's in that relationship you should find the final fulfillment of "belonging" at last.

    You have the right to be loved and to love. Anyone who tells you that love doesn't fit into a D/s relationship has never experienced the fulfillment of all it truly can be. Submissives are by nature loving and needing of love and have every right to expect this to be a part of their lives. It takes love to bring your submission into full bloom, so don't settle for less.

    You have the right to be healthy. Health involves your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Any relationship, D/s or otherwise, that causes you to suffer physically, mentally or emotionally, beyond your limits, is abuse. There is no place for abusive behavior in a D/s relationship and it's up to you to make sure those lines are not crossed.
    Being a submissive does not give anyone the right to harm or injure you in any way. The D/s community will stand behind you if you should encounter such a situation but you are the one who has to make them aware before they can help.

    You have the right to practice safe sex. Not only is this a right, it's a duty to yourself and others you may come into contact with at a later date. Sexually transmitted diseases have reached epidemic proportions and must be a concern to any sexually active person. Safe Sex is something you have the right to insist upon and protecting yourself should never be discouraged by anyone who really has your best interests at heart.


    7/9/2007 7:14:46 PM
    Interesting topic tonight is  new names..I know I had a couple only because i wanted my old name back in which I finally got it.. But I am seeing this more to finding someone or pulling the wool over those who were rejected.. Maybe? I even see areas that are different they live in or maybe to another town oh and yes new photos made..If you feel tyou have to change your profile because of a new photo made then guess what You don't have to change your whole profile to fit the new picture lol..Maybe they just arent aware what they are doing or maybe they are......Well the new pictures dont change my mind or my interests. I will not chnage this name ever again ever.This is my name and has been for 10 years online.. I don't care who you are what you are where you are ,you still are You.. All the pretty mean ,,strong,dainty,well-dressed you are ,the attitude and  body won't change..If you aren't getting any nibbles its because  maybe you need a change somewhere..Put your heart into your profile make people feel you by your words.Be honest and by all means be legitimate.. If you show you are a fake then thats why you wont be called upon,List what you are and what you want.. Let people know you inside out,Oh and it will help to list your intentions.. I read profiles that are one liners and I walk away there's nothing there to help me know you or anything about you.. So help yourself out with adding intentions and means  to be happy and what you are willing to do to be happy..I know this is alot to mention and you dont have to mention all of this but more than one or two lines is useless..And anothet thing is dont say you want someone to beat to death..Thats a definite no-no. Its good to be honest yes but when you have that first conversation tell them then what you need and want.and will do and won't do or put up with and consequences in doing wrong...I always lay all my cards on the table before anything I will not deceive anyone. Oh for those who thought they had me guess what not even close. I knew from the start you were players how does it feel to not have the last laugh..but to be a fool..Mean huh, not even ,,if they say I love you on first conversation ,player,if they say heres my collar they are a player, if they said they are single most aren't,but I know..I may make a players detection list soon. That way you know. So enjoy the evening and be catreful who you chat with never give anything away on first few days, not even a phone number, get to know each other first,and see if you can meet or fit each others likes and dislikes compatibilties..Then you will know you didnt waste the phone calls if it didnt even come close to working.. So good luck and take care always serenity

    7/7/2007 9:33:40 AM
    Well I am going to enjoy this topic and I was reminded about it from a Dom who is feed up as well about it..So grab a cup of coffee and have a seat.. This topic is going to be about  beuing under "CONSIDERATION". I was recently under consideration to be just a thought.. This will go for those who take a collar within 24 hours of knowing someone or those who are even RT and have a online Dom.  I will not take a online collar I find that insulting and appalling..If I am going to be collared it will be OFFLINE.. I see 5 collars on one person and 3 on the next and I laugh my arse off. This is about as pathetic as it gets..Take note these people aren't real and only are online.. Hell why not start a poly relationship on line as well, sounds like it huh?If someone isnt ready to commit then you'll get collared and online.. Better check out that person closely because there may be a few things hidden or not know..It seems people have taken lifestylers  who have always been in the lifestyle and ridiculed them and like years back stepped in and wiped out the Real and respctful Ones that were loyal and deicated in this community of realism..My One and only Dom,before he died ,shared everything with me,since we never got to meet I still look for him.. I know he died because his mother called me and told me a week before we were meeting in Houston,Texas that he died. It almost ruined me and since Him I haven't seen anyone who can even be dedicated to take me to where I wish to be..And I'm not looking to find a replica (he passed 5 years ago)but I am looking for someone with similar likes and dislikes as myself....I may not be a barbie doll or Miss America but I am real and I have been through alot even in vanilla life I been through a lot more, but at least I am real and I will survive and I will find Someone who can be devoted and caring and above all be REAL:. So as in collars save them, do it OFFLINE..If you want to share the good news then wear the name or let all the chatrooms know you have someone but don't take a collar that is just a thought or a maybe..Its too fake and far from being real 9 times out of 10 they won't be a show or will disappear..So redo those profiles that say You are collared and don't lie and say you are without even meeting first.. Just say You are taken and will be collared in person soon..This makes life more real and more closer to where you are actually going.. This way you aren't embarassed when his/her's wife/husband comes to the door oranswers the phone at any time at night..Thats another test tfor reality I will cover later.. So i hope I have helped those looking and want to expect because here you'll get anything  if you ask for it.. I enjoy being a guinea pig sometimes just to see  if I can find anymore playthings hanging around just so I can write about them.. be well and enjoy life to its fullest but more cautious.. Thank you serenity

    7/6/2007 8:26:23 PM
    Being all you can be...
    You dont have to have a title, or be in a community of lifestylers to feel what you want..I am partially vanilla blended in with submissiveness but I was raised as a slave but only a domestic slave..I sometimes can feel so deeply inside to love someone,or be impulsive,or daring or just being me with all those attached in which they are but many have to attach those to themselves to please others. I don't..I am romantic,caring,protective,strong-willed,bold at times,challenging,but yet I am also very sensitive..When I am upset, I am angry,avoid everyone,but I walk away and remain silent and keep those feelings inside . I know its not good but to me it is being respectful and being a good person for being silent.. I have had to be silent and walk away from several online because they didnt care about my feelings,didn't want to hear any opinions,or ideas or even my pains,they just didn't care.. Many don't understand without communication there's no relationship to build,noone to be there for you with you..There's nothing but your foolish selfish pride and stupidity for not listening or helping when were you needed..Thats why so many are lonely today or sad. My reason for being alone right now is I can't finsd anyone that is worthy anymore . Noone who I can trust,or love,or give my total all too.. All because they chose not to be real and be fakes..If you are here  and not knowing why you are here  then you took a wrong turn go to true.com and search or if you want to be here and have a hard time finding that special one  then place in your profile a list of what you seeking and don't let us assume or guess what you want.. This isn't a joke and I live to my slaves' heart. It guides and leads me not many will ever have one especially now at this day and age of life.. So I wish you luck because a slave isnt  going to be here,even if she was  she's in the shadows ,silently not begging but waiting for the right time to emerge and shine with a new hoipe and hopefully with a new life.. But it all takes time and much patience..But sit one day and think about today or tomorrow and make a decision to either find that one or just hope she comes to you,if she is real she won't come to you and just speak because  she doesnt,that is where your guidance is needed.. Let her/him know  everything hold nothing back ,don't hurt her/him before you even begin to build anything..Good luck in all you seek and find..always   serenity

    7/5/2007 7:41:08 PM

    I WONDER::::

    I see there may a lack of interests going on here ..I  am not a Domme,I am not a bad person.. I had my share of pityful wannabes  around me but I am far from being a wannabe..We look at weight and height maybe a problem,but even i know a heart is heavy if sad and light when happy,no matter how big or small it is  It still beats...I get impulses to get up in middle of night and go for walks or just sit in the dark and think..Im still wondering at times if its worth being direct and honest,maybe many aren't but yet they get their playmates or spouses even tho many never meet ,they still get someone..I just wonder if I have to be honest all the time,but then I am not a good liar and cannot lie I found  I have a conscienous so that wouldnt work,...So I just wonder why people can't just be wild and impulsive and just wonderful lovers in person...Maybe too many rotten marriages or no communications used.. Then its understandable.. But I still have to touch and feel and spoil someone . Perhaps one day maybe not today or next year but  maybe one day,hopefully He won't be too old to go streaking.. lolol maybe we'll see.. I just want to be molded to a new life and person . I will always know my life now,but to be able to be just someone else to their liking or interests it would be a blessing ..But I couldn't be mean or spill blood I was never made to do such things and my heart wouldn't let me so that is out.. So I will wonder what is next? Maybe in the morning I will know or maybe  not.. But life goes on whether im in it or not it doesnt stop for anyone..So I will just wonder...

    7/3/2007 6:51:11 PM
    Very nice to be back and in my place..I am known for my journal entries so here I go again:
    I seem to be running into people who think they can put anything over someones head.. I am finding I may have to do homework and find out more perhaps on my own. The last one was taken and the one before him was married, and they all claimed to be single and nothing else..Until it comes to meet face to face.. They disappear or run for the hills.Or they change names.. Which in my book Is easy to find out about.. I always do my homework and do alot of fishing  but it comes out alraight which it may or may not be good. Thats why it is so important to be honest.. These people are here for a free lay or whatever they can do for a one nighter.. They are NOT serious,.These people I ignore and move away from that why I am still here without a Master and have never met anyone from collarme,noones' serious and real.. They are players ,people who are selfish and think of themselves shame too . So always question the other person over and over  until you are sure they are what you want in your life..But always look for the truth even if you have a inch of doubt 10 of out 20 times you are right to have that doubt..Good luck and keep searching... But be careful.. always serenity

    Vertical Line

    Horizontal Line
    Horizontal Line
    EliteCache
     
     Age: 29
     Manila, Philippines