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Hardonyou
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abusedsoul666
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i am a pansexual leatherwoman in search of a Master/Daddy to serve.
my Leather Journey started when i was trained by two Old Guard Protocol Leathermen. It was an adventure I will always cherish as straight females rarely get the opportunity to learn protocol through the Gay Leather Community.
I am proud to be a member of the global Leather Community and through my desire to build bridges, i have competed in Leather Runs. i was rewarded as the International Ms Bootblack (IMSBB) of 2000. i am the first non gay female to compete in this category). In addition, i am the former (and first female) Road Captain for the Pikes Peak Summit Masters. i teach seminars in Bootblacking as well as BDSM in film/television, and Leadership Conferences. i am also active in the my local community including the Colorado Springs CoP (Celebration of Power) and the First Friday Club. i have been an Associate Producer for the Mr. And Ms. Leather Colorado, and a Den Mom for the Colorado Leather Sir/boy contest, Den Mom for International Ms Bootblack, and assistant to International Ms. Leather, also Den Mom to Mr. Leather Colorado 2010
Yet, as proud as i am for all of my community accomplishments, the most important goal for me is to be the primary slave for a Master/Daddy. To serve my Owner to the best of my ability with honor.
i also conduct bootblacking classes, and mentoring. If you are interested please feel free to contact me.
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Honestly, i don't get why people lie. i just don't get it. |
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So if you are on here as a Dom, please don't say "I can do whatever you want me to" and can you train me to be a Dom" seriously, subs cannot train Dom's we do not understand the Dom space.. find a mentor.. And once again if you weigh 20 lbs chances are your 2 years old, or close to being dead. |
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Ok, who else finds it funny, that when the foreigners respons to an add, there weight is under a 100lbs, lol... i just find that funny |
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Also, i am a bit tired of hearing about Brett Favre... congrats! on coming out of "retirement" maybe we should just have a showdown, i bet Troy Aikman, John Elway could still out through and manuever him. anyway just my thought. |
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To all the Dom's and Masters who take the time to talk and teach, thank You. In the past couple of days i have learned alot. i may not be the "right" sub for You, and that is understandable. For those of have taken the time to answer questions, thank You. |
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still searching... still submissive.
") |
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New year, new beginning, and of course a new president.. i wish i could just talk to them one on one.. and ask a question.. wouldn't that be great. i can dream can't i. Anyway, i just hope we don't have a the crazy celebrity year like last year.. the have money, so why do they have to go psycho geez.. ok more later. and of course still looking for a Master.. one day :)
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happy FESTIVIUS for the REST OF US
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I began the day not wanting a holiday kind of confusing i suppose. We cannot igonore holidays, though sometimes we want to. It's interesting how holidays are born, Thanksgiving one of them. Because of a women's determination, and push to congress despite a civil war, Thanksgiving was declared a national holiday. Even though, we may be surrounded by loved ones, and for some even paid for the holiday. It does not seem enough for those that are not with us. It was a year ago yesterday when i last hugged my mom, for me it seems like years. You have the memories, but we forget some of the smells, and the touch, the physical things that makes us most human. I know those that have passed, can hear me, and watch over me and one day i know that i will join them. Until that time, i am glad i got to say I love you mom, and for this i give great thanks. And to my friends, i am truly thankful. My sisters, we are truly blessed.  |
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So because of my last journal entry i have been "accused" of things, even here, i am not entitled to an opinion without judgement, which is fine. If somehow you come across my journal and it makes you think, that is a great thing. As far as judgement, everyone does it based on their morals, values and how they were raised. i can take ownership of what i say, can Y/you? |
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So, OJ did apparently the whole glove thing is not working for him again. Barry Bonds, it amazes me how much we recognized his accomplishments yet, now he faces prison time.. is there baseball in prison? Ok, what has this have to do with the lifestyle.. honesty is always the best policy, lies come back to haunt you and eventually consequences... :)
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 Opps he did it again, ok i just had to comment on OJ Simpson, duh.. go to las vegas who burst into a Las Vegas hotel room and snatched memorabilia his own stuff.. ok first mannars..you could have just said can i please have my stuff back, that's just Kindergarten 101. And he had a gun, so if the gun doesn't fit now..we must aquit.. omg. i give him the DUH award. On a side note, why do people lie, i give them my trust take them at their word.. and then lied to.. honestly can some explain this phenomenon. |
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Today, 9/11 oddly enough like most i lost friends that day, to top it off i had adopted nephew, found dead in Denver apparent OD of heroin. So it brings me to this, to much of anything in excessive is bad. Also, i may have just met the Master of my dreams on here. So, it can happen. Dreams can come true. |
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i cant help but to wonder, who is for real, and who is not. For some i guess this lifestyle is just a game, a getaway for the weekend, or to seek something their spouses can not give them, which is fine, but honesty is a key. There are times i wish i "was not born this way" to me, it is who i am.. Knowing that, my Master whom ever it shall be, will know that sub/slaves are gifts to be cherished.
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if you find yourself reading my journal great, i have a general question, why do people lie.. i mean what does it bring them, through lieing. i really dont get it.. this lifestyle is something of a chosen nature, for me, it is more like i was born this way.. sometimes i wish i could just be 'cured' but it does not work that way. But at least etiquette would dictate to at least be honest.
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Well, it seems to be a late night or early morning. It is wonderful to see so many who are putting into practice Old Guard ways. So, other than not being able to sleep, i decided to add like tons of emoticons just because right now, nothing really better to do.   |
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Goodness, i cannot believe i have not made an entry since 2005. So much has changed and days have gone by. i am still have no one to call Master, although one day i know i will find the one the will appreciate what i have to offer. i'm still a BBW, that seems to be a barrier for some. Everyone has their likes and dislikes, which is great. At least we have the freedom of expression here. And i have the freedom to write, without our recourse. So, here i am. Life is the greatest adventure.
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Ok, the last entry scratch that, because submissive is giving of oneself of the heart. It is about communication, and finding that one person that will respect you whether your sick or have just had a good flogging. A matter of decorum to have respect for one another. Being in the D/s scene should not be a banner for "hey i want to be walked on"
It is possible for a sub to be a lady and a Dom to be a gentleman
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Well it seems once again i was played. i don't understand how i allow myself to be "schmoozed and used" . i am a good sub, i check in when i am supposed to call etc. Yet in return i was very rarely called or communicated with at all. Maybe i have to much heart, feeling, and romance in me to be submissive. |
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SEASONS GREETINGS
It seems getting to know someone is the greatest adventure. As most Doms/subs know it is difficult to learn to trust. Trust is first and foremost in a D/s realtionship, a foundation. Sometimes it comes easy, sometimes hard, but anything worth getting takes work.
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my heart is belonging to my Master, it is comforting and romantic to know one has found there Knight in Shining armour. a girls dream, and to a slave, a part that has been missing for a long time. Though the world may not understand O/our relationship, that is ok. When two hearts come together in harmony, there can be an explosion.  |
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Sometimes, when you least expect it, someone comes along to change your life. Soul Mates, a term that is used alot, but i have never felt, until now. Many Masters/Doms have tried to communicate with me, but were never really honest, always seems that there was a lie somewhere hidden.
At last i have found a true Master, someone who knows, and understands the lifestyle and a submissive mind. As well as the romance and the need for controlled love. It is all encompassing, not just about the sex, but mind, body spirit, soul. If you read this i challange you to be differant find someone, not just one sided, but full rounded, then you may find complete contentment and happiness. |
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 i have not written in awhile, i have lost a family member and some friends. It seems during this time of year we think about it the most .. family and loved ones. i have been "played" once again, i just wish there was a way people could always tell the truth. Lying just does not make sense to me. i still have hope to meet that inate Master, who loves romance the lifestyle and seeks longterm. Depsite the people that give the lifestyle a bad name. Happy Holidays to All/all |
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It is interesting reading profiles.. journals from other people. There are so many differant kinds from pro to inexperienced, the profiles can be very interesting as well. Just wondering why they just can't check their spelling though. |
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Still searching... it has been difficult the last few weeks. Wondering, why people have to lie about themselves. |
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Back home.. and tired.. had to move when i returned home. Still looking for that "right" one, i know for everyone it is difficult.. are they for real.. is it a game for them.. how much experience .. etc. i guess though that there is someone for everyone. So my search continues... |
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Today is 7/14/2003 ... Getting ready to go to IMsL/IMsBB. i am looking forward to meeting old friends and making new friends. my search goes on in finding a true Master that appreciates a submissive who appreciates the lifestyle of bdsm. Maybe one day ... until next time... |
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| Age: 26 |
| Amsterdam,
Netherlands |
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