I Am A Submissive Woman  

 I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength. I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength and wisdom.

 He is everything to me, as I am everything to him. His touch awakens me and his thoughts free me. Only in serving him do I find complete freedom and joy. His punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that he has my best interests always foremost in his mind. If he desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought him happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

 My body is his, and if he says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in his eyes, and because of that I hold my head high...for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If he says I am his princess, then I am that...regal and graceful, and if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Master wrong? If he says I am his toy, his slut, his tramp, then I am that...as wanton and dirty as he wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master.

 My mind is his, to expand, to explore, to know as only he can. I have no secrets from him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly his. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and I do not want walls. His lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons he has decided I need, and so I learn from him. My soul is his, as bare to his touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel his presence, be he miles away or standing over me.

 If I were to ever displease him, his displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any physical pain could be. The anguish of my soul that I feel when I disappoint him is harder to bear than the physical anguish. I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought he puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for his, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together.

 His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend his time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him.  I am his pleasure and his responsibility, and he takes both seriously.

 I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold. Only to he who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud. I am a submissive woman.

author unknown

Hello all. I am now at this time ammending my profile. Let me first explain something. Since childhood, I had to hide who I am. Moving about in society was scary...... as if i was naked and everyone could see me. There is NO greater prison then that of the feeling of doom and dread of being trapped in a body that you KNOW is NOT the one that you should have been born in! We all have so many mannerisms associated with our personna/personalities that shine through at any given moment. Since mine have ALWAYS been that of a girl......I have ALWAYS had a VERY "fem" way about me. Yet physically i was male, so, of course, society being the way that it is, I was pegged as "gay" since around puberty. The thing is, I ALWAYS had a girlfriend and my sexuality was with the female body. I never even considered being with a man in ANY way, shape, or form until 2 years ago (May of 2010 which was one year into my transition). Because of these softer female like personality traits, I had to CONSTANTLY, on a DAILY basis.....moment to moment, remind myself to do certain things like a guy. For instance, just ONE of those many MANY traits I had to always remind myself to do was to walk like a boy (I have a natural female swagger)!!!!! Do you have ANY idea what life is like reminding yourself how to walk step by step all day EVERY DAY...... EVERY STEP?!?!?!? Absolute insanity, trust me. So, I got drunk in my mid teens...... and stayed that way for 27 YEARS!!! On September of 2008, I put the bottle down, went into detox, got sober, found an endochronologist willing to work with me and 2 months later started to block my testosterone. Four months after that, March 9th of 2009, I was born as a female as this was the day that I started estrogen. For the next 2 and a half years, i experienced normal/natural female puberty. At the 6 month point in Sept. of 09 I was 1 year sober and 6 months into my puberty. My breast began to bud. To me, the breast ARE the true sign of female and so as they grew, for the first time in my life, all the broken pieces within that never completey fit FINALLY began to come together. I had LITERALLY restarted my life in teenage female puberty physically, emotionally and spiritually. You see, because of all those years of drinking and because I never really was whole, I never actually ever "grew"  and/or matured. It was at a year sober and finding interest in men that I decided to open ALL the doors within and experience ALL that was deep down inside of me. This lifestyle here at this site WAS one of them. My first and original journal here is 100% true in its words as is the second journal enrtry...... where between the two i admited of even having had NOT fantasies, but actually needs of being kidnapped, held against my will, even raped!!! AND I AM talking about having these thoughts and emotions since childhood. Having been on this site for awhile, I have met quite a number of people and had some experiences. HOWEVER, I am now letting the entire BDSM community know this: now that i have found myself, and I am just one last little "snip" from being 100% female, I no longer have any desire, will, yearnings, or needs to be owned by ANYONE!!! After spending MOST of my life thus far hiding in a bottle and have NEVER had the chance to fully "exist", I am unable now to let go of that. The natural submissive side IS still within me....... I just can NOT bring myself to allowing another person to "rule" or "own" me at this time!!! SO many MANY years of NEVER being "me", now that I am and being SO CLOSE to being "complete", the way i should have been at birth, there is NO WAY that i can just "give it up"!!! At least, not for the moment. And, IF I were able to, the person that WOULD be the one to collar me is on here as "darlataz6677". This person is VERY special to me. He IS the father that i NEVER had...... and I to him like the daughter that he has never had. (actually I am like the daughter that NO ONE has ever had!!! .... giggles...). Besides me one of the LAST true gentlmen on the planet, he is VERY kind, caring, and giving. It breaks his heart, for this i am sure, that i am unable...... and unwilling...... to give up my will and existence to a master to serve and obey. I JUST found me........ I JUST became....... It's mine that i never had, and my apologies to any and all, ESPECIALLY my dadddy, (to whom I AM collared to in a way) that I JUST CANT,...... just not as of now........

Thank you, as always, for everyone's love and support here...... even you fake bullshitting lying assholes!!! .... giggles .... Love, babygurl, Eryka  

Hello ANY and ALL!!! This past Monday (08/29/11) I had my 1st of two facial feminization reconsturction surgery here in Daytona. Yesterday was my breast augmentation taking me from a naturally grown 36/lg.B to 36/D!!!!! Today, in the mail, I recieved my official copy of my legal name change!!! Two more weeks or so of recooperation and I will be re-emerging the world as the gurl that i was naturally born as: Eryka Nikole S. Thank you everyone for your love and support!!!! sincerely, sub/slave babygurl, Eryka