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some say gee why have you never been married why no kids at 43? well simple I have mostly been in long tpe relationships i do as told or I used to I have been single way to long but now am just very very picky and loath casual sex i need more I want to be treasured adored and owned. simple try saying that on eharmony it does not go over well sigh. |
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IF YOUR MARRIED DONOT CONTACT ME! I want a guy who is MINE all MINE! not somebody else's neglected husband. |
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so I learn as as i go in in life.. perhaps i am a sappy romantic i wear my heart on my well pussy perhaps it is cause my first dom loved me before he ever was my dom i do not know why I am this way but i need to have a dom who truly wants me and treasures me. A dom who is steady and safe and does not change the game or even turn this into a game in the middle of things. Be clear i am here for real looking hoping for my other half .. i know i have not been in a tpe in awhile and maybe am out of practice but simple common human gentleman behavior should not be forgotten just because i am a sub. I was raised with class and decency am a good person have an ok life yeah no I am not as happy as i could be that does not mean I deserve to be lied to . Everything I say I do mean and if I ever say "I will never hurt you" that includes listening, and paying attention to you. A sub needs your attention, and come on if a guy any guy is not calling,not texting changes his profile completely head to toe to read as though he is seeking something else well it does not take a rocket scientist to figure you do not want me. If I crave you trust me i will be like a puppy dog begging for all of you it is so hard to find why make it harder ... |
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for all that read my journals thank you for your insights .. I am not complaining just airing out my soul as there are not many places in this world crazy as it is I feel I can be my true self here ... at least on this site there is a small chance I am among my people.... |
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As a human i am many things never a bullshiter, I work hard to be a good person. As a sub who trusts and wants so much to find her ONE, I try even harder to be a good and open minded loving person. Only ever try to be my best self in the vain hope I will find my one and that the wait will have been worth it... Far from perfect and more lost today than yesterday... |
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to hear the words "I will never hurt you" then you kick me emotionally sigh so disheartening how cruel to kick a puppy dog oh yeah that is how I feel at the moment ... I am no masochist it is easy to turn away from game playing fools.. I expect better of doms perhaps my standards are too high. |
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this so sucks... too finally come so close to finding you! only to have you be but a fleeting glimmer of sunlight upon my soul... it hurts to want you, it hurts to crave you, it hurts to not be worthy! and not being good enough well it just sucks... |
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OMG! in todays world no I donot have facebook go figure and yeah i have trouble with the dam computer at times but my phone and car work just fine yes I can prove in real time i am real OMG what a crazy concept ... why do so many fakers on here just wanna kik or skype? CHEMISTRY is VERY IMPORTANT TO ME! I adore the great guys that humor my old fashioned ways as all I seek is a Dom to love adore and crave.... and yes I have met a few on here this crazy site and they are very nice polite wonderful real doms just not mine... oh how i would love a dom to call mine . |
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2017 still single sigh not spanked in so long sigh ..sometime well do not know what the point is any more ..as much as i donot like him I voted for him.. the world is so messed up too many feminists... I feel like I do not fit in society any more.. keep my month shut and true feeling to myself.. occ come here and vent a bit not that it makes a difference I have a good life sort of but am not my true self nor as happy as could be...43 this April no owner no love little hope ................ |
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I came across a very well written profile that spoke to my soul... for anyone looking to know me read this profile its is a great reflection of what I seek {the8abyss}
as i i try my best to be clear of who I am and what I seek I do get lots of well lets just say undesirables contacting me.. I am a very picky person with the food I eat the wine I drink and the man I serve ..I am not a flake but can be very flaky if your not the one sorry. Knowing what you want is half the battle finding it oh now that is the hard part. |
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At my work the other day someone asked if they should lock the door as i was the only one in the office hmm I thought to myself what is worst that can happen I could be beat and raped sigh I am just not that lucky haha
Note: {this is a joke } |
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oh the life and misadventures of a single sub sigh..So while hanging out with a vanilla friend of over 10 years and her lover just chilling barbecuing and such( they know i live an alternative lifestyle that I date only certain types of guys yada yada) .. I felt safe to relax just be myself what a sad mistake to speak freely of what I crave I thought I was having a candid conversation among friends ..HUGE MISTAKE so so not a good idea.. ok so I let him get a few spanks in prove a point or 2 but hello I am not into him yet she passes him my # with a wink tells me I can hang with him( ick on so many levels!) and he is inviting me out to drinks and such` upon my refusal i get offered all kinds of lewd things what the what ?! some days i just hate my life.. |
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Here is something most do not realize when contacting me ..when I am on this site I like to have time to fully focus on who I am talking to or viewing here . This site even though it sucks big time is at the core a place for me to be my truest self as I am a submissive & and only here to find my Dom . I am a private person kind of other than for work I do not get about on social media much (pics get stolen scammers abound and it is such a waste of time)..I am 100% single work and struggle to survive everyday so unless and only if I can give pure non multitasking attention I am not logging on. In the past to my error I have offended or presented my worst first impression and I apologize I am not perfect and though very real am flawed and sad . I view this site as an outlet to speak my inner true feelings.. as a tpe relationship such that I am seeking requires TRUST and so much honesty of a pure essential nature it would be be cutting my nose off to spite my face not to give my best from the start ... I donot not speak with any in vain I know I am a pain in the ass about how I will or will not contact you but my reasons on sound .. I am tired & refuse to settle.. I need chemistry.. I need a connection once I feel that and feel safe then and only then can I relax and give my submission to you ..Am I asking for to much? just to want the guy I give myself to ? to have similar interest and values with?I know who I am... I take my time here serious I am not here to waste my time nor yours . |
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Yes I love listening to music odd what lyrics suit my feelings on here..
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got...
What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And I don't even know what kind of things I've said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So, picking up the pieces, now where to begin?
The hardest part of ending is starting again! |
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I so miss being used sigh then hugged and and my tears kissed away sigh |
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It is never okay to misrepresent who you are to others...been watching Catfish the Movie/show and my vow to always be my real self wherever I find myself, be it on line or in the flesh. I am just a girl 41 far from perfect, a sub out of sync in this world and my life who would adore finding the right guy that happens to be a dom for a long and everlasting relationship. I have met some wonderful folks here just chemistry and a true good fit is not so easy to find .when I like you I will meet you almost instantly and want to get to know you to see if we connect only once there is a bond can I become your sub. |
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I am a living breathing person with a life outside of this website and outside of kink. I am not some toy who exists for your pleasure, unless we are in a RELATIONSHIP. Please respect my time and my limits. Sex, even sex with kinky undertones, is easy enough to find. A deep connection and trust is much harder. And let's be honest here, once the trust is established that is where the real fun begins. Ultimately, I want a relationship where I can check out into subspace and know you will look out for me. One where I can let go and be the submissive that I enjoy being. Where I'm reacting and not thinking things through because I trust you won't let real physical or emotional harm come to me. We then get to play in all those fun places where pain and mind fucking mix to create that heady experience which leaves us craving more. I have been lucky enough to find this a few times in my life. And am really hoping to find it again for the long term. |
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Chemistry matters.. I am only into tall guys just a preference... 5'10 and above , and small request if your belly is bigger then your head no thanks oh yes I may be a sub but want to CRAVE my Dom ...also want to RESPECT him... so all apologies if you email please send recent pics and if I do not reply I just donot have the time nor desire to chat endlessly life is to short to waist if you are not HIM.. |
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... so is it so odd that not only do I want a dom I want love? a relationship not just to serve? Is it selfish to want a relationship as well as craving to please you? What I have not been able to figure out ..I am very confused about this one thing yes I want guy who is the head of the household who leads and guides me but also one I adore.. a real man with romantic side as well as a dom side?? the whole vanilla dating bs bores me all the games! if I like you and want you only then can I crave your cock and yes I will be your good little slut I so far have been told that does not make me a sub yet vanilla guys think I am odd or needy etc I know it is selfish but doesn't everyone want to be loved? |
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I am a real women sad that I am all alone in life not into pain or being hurt or dehumanized.. yet very old fashioned and a June Cleaver type in 2015 has no real place to find her one ...I would love to be loved adored and yes owned.. I love sex but choose to be in a relationship first and foremost I need a mental connection and never play on cam so stop asking me to go to yahoo etc..oh and no I do not need to see you nude in an email to excite me ..what excites me is your voice in my ear and a desire to give you all of me I did once a long time ago have a 7 yr long tpe relationship I would love to find that again. I do have standards as like I said I am REAL REAL REAL and not into blue collar fat slobs how on earth would you take care of me if you do not respect yourself ??? this site is such a cluster fuck to say the least ...still i have found some wonderful friends so go figure...the adventures of a single sub wish i did not have em would rather forget most and just have a good life again. |
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