Ms. Jade leaves me to return home in the am. We have spent a very interesting week together. i have come to the realization that the slave life can be very difficult , but at the same time very rewarding. Ms Jade was very kind and although she pushed my limits she did realize my limitations due to my disabilitiy. our first night of play consist of me being restrained and blindfolded . Ms. Jade then proceeded to put clamps on me in different areas including one one my lower lip. i was frightened ,but i also had trust in Her and Her ability to take care for me. i also knew that she was fully capable of inflicting severe pain on me and throughly enjoying hereself will doing so. She then began to cain me and she showed mercy in the fact that she gave me breaks,but she made clear that she was going to finish when she was ready. my thoughts during this caining were that it was terrible and very painful,but when she was finished i wanted more. i felt ( and i still do) that i deserved it and did not want Her to stop. i wanted to be beaten until i was bleeding and to have the back of my balls lashed as well. i wanted to suffer for Her because it made me feel useful to her know that she was happy givng me a caining. 
We also had a night of needle play . It was very intense and at time the pain for me was almost unbearably . i had 30 needles inserted into my ball sack. while Ms Jade was doing that she told me how pitiful it was and in my mind i could only agree. i felt useless and i knew at that moment that no women would ever be able to consider me as a man. it is a humbling experience and also it make me feel a bit liberated to know that i am useful to Her for somethings.  i want more now that is over and want to feel Her needles in the head of my tiny cock. i know what my place is , but i still resist it(*old habits die hard)i thank Ms Jade for bearing with me though and helping me accept that i am below her and that i do deserve to be used and beaten as She sees fit. There were times i felt love for Her: for example after she placed a particularly painful needle in my balls. After it was in she told me what a good boy i was in a soothing voice. i would take a 100 needles for that. and although she was kind ,she was also hard and i knew that i deserved every thing she did. i thank her for that and i hope she and i can soon spend more time together.