Collarspace.com

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SmokesMirrors

SmokesMirrors - photo 1

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Friends:
Hudson

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**I want to connect with people I can converse and socialize with. I volunteer at and attend kink events and discussions (less now). I am not seeking private-only or traveling interactions, though I am open to making personal connections.**

BDSM is not a novelty for me it is not something I feel needs to be hidden behind closed doors. I like connecting people to their local resources for events, workshops and gatherings, encouraging them to expand their experience safely.

I feel BDSM works best with clear negotiation, research, earned trust and exploration. If youre looking for quick hookups with strangers or "discretion" without including your existing partner(s), save your time for someone else.
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Play partners are friends and people first. I prefer the ability to talk with and be comfortable around someone as a person. Building a rapport is a required step for me. How can I share power and trust with you if I dont know anything about you, or vice versa? Im open to being approached by all genders and dynamics for conversation.

Outside (or inside, depending!) of kink, Im into RPG video games, science fiction, animation, fantasy novels, comic books, boardcard games, and various nerdgeekgoth stuff. I like having at least a few of these things in common with those I spend time with.

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When I play, my focus tends to be on rapport and sensation. I encourage a sense of relaxed playfulness in my interactions regardless of the dynamics in effect. I instigate things between other people quite often, encouraging folks to take actions, aiding in negotiations and facilitating wish-fulfillment.

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Be Responsibly Poly I do not expect exclusivity in fact, it kind of makes me nervous if someone focuses all of their needs on me. All partners should be aware of each others involvement and at least tolerant of each other. I expect plans and relations with me to be valued and respected courteous scheduling is required and cancellationsreschedules should be discussed ASAP.

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I have been involved with kink for over twenty years. I like to talk about things like BDSM methods and power exchange perspectives. I enjoy speaking with and meeting new people, but my main joy is in correspondence and conversation about BDSM.

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I do not believe that gender limits someone to a specific role - if you do, I probably wont be good company for you. All men or women are not all doms or subs, in any combination of the words.

-I am a switch, which means that I have desires on both sides of the coin. Many of the likes listed on my profile are receiving. I do not require all partners to fill all roles I simply like a wide variety, and want partners to enjoy whatever dynamic we find suits us. I NEVER expect both sides to be fulfilled by a single partner please do not offer to switch unless you actually enjoy it. If itll be part of what we do, it needs to be because we are both into doing it.
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I cannot provide or endure large amounts of degradation or emotional cruelty. I am a minor sadist and can enjoy embarrassment, but that is rarely enough for someone who is outright seeking humiliation.

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5/21/2022 11:58:44 AM

Oh hey, Journals work again!

Still sticking my nose in here now and then.


6/6/2017 3:29:36 PM
Realized that my primary photo is three years old. Not that it misrepresents me or anything, but there. Now there's a new one, plus dildo and j-lube. Be happy. :)

6/6/2017 3:01:28 PM
I need a rewrite; I don't get out enough to lean so heavily on the 'out' part, but I'm still not interested in a closeted, exclusively one-to-one interaction.

6/6/2017 9:20:10 AM
The weather is improving. Spring cleaning and profile browsing time!

9/14/2016 5:53:35 PM
I am usually up for conversation, especially genuine questions or discussion topics. Feel free to message me to talk, regardless of your orientation or dynamic.

5/19/2016 3:02:28 PM
I'm glad the weather's looking up - will be nice to get more naked time outside for me and those around me! Thinking about revamping my profile again. I'd be nice to pull in some better common ground.

1/24/2016 10:55:10 AM
Snowed in, and just winter-sick enough to not want to ruin my health going out in the cold air. Perhaps I can negotiate an exchange. **Edit** I did indeed accomplish a trade, over a week into being snowed in. Yay.

10/9/2015 2:46:33 PM
I've been doing a lot of sounding board work for F/m couples lately. I'm glad to see more folks actually trying to make it work with their partners (either by buckling down to find what works or opening up to others) instead of going hunting without giving it a chance.

6/15/2015 3:41:34 PM
I'm here to exchange INFORMATION, not hook up. My information is not dependent on my having a vagina. It's not part of this.
If we've barely talked, I'm not going to do a "verification call" with you to prove my gender to "earn" your attention. Anyone close enough is welcome to come see me in person at local kink events (which is a LOT easier than trying to meet for coffee or dinner, frankly).

3/31/2015 5:37:44 PM
Working on a sub male support group, to counter all the "male subs are a dime a dozen" crap. Any of you boys interested in giving me input, if you're looking for lifestyle and community and not just partners?

3/26/2015 8:10:25 AM
Slowly but surely, the weather improves... And with it, my mood. Huzzah.

1/14/2015 6:28:22 AM
When writing to me around this time of year, please be patient. I despise winter, so on miserable or cold days I tend not to write people back because my mood is shitty and I prefer not to snap.

11/14/2014 11:10:08 AM
Practice continues apace. I hate winter - maybe I'll build up a nice cuddle pile to keep me warm.

7/24/2014 12:33:04 PM
While I am not against people who are into cuckolding, many of its premises are kneejerk offensive when I consider myself as a part of them. As a result, I'm pretty sure I would not be able to participate in such scenarios. Sorry to disappoint.

7/15/2014 3:03:42 PM
New, more effective profile. Let's see how it goes.

5/20/2014 3:32:24 PM

Seeking domestic service - I really really need my lawn mowed. Please message if interested.


2/3/2014 7:26:15 PM

I've taken my tags down to "Friends Only" since that's step One for anything else. I imagine it'll reduce the "Please be my Mistress" messages significantly. That said, if you're interested in meeting or speaking with me from anywhere on the spectrum, feel free to drop me a line. I check.


11/8/2013 12:47:26 PM

Well, I finally managed to take a profile pic I'm pleased with. Much better than having that blank space.


11/5/2013 9:06:05 PM

Might as well sweep the dust off of this profile. I'm newly relocated and looking for company to enjoy. I'm older now, maybe a little wiser, and a bit less easy to irritate. I hope!


2/6/2011 7:32:53 PM

Why do people who only want to be told sweet lies?

If I haven't met you, I'm not going to tell you "what I would do to you" except reluctantly, and always with an addendum of "if things go well". At best, I might discuss "might do", and never with any detail or certainty. There are too many variables, and I don't play those games.

You're welcome to build fantasy scenarios without caveats with other people - hey, go for it. That's what cybersex was built on. Lots of people do it, no shortage of them. 

I'm not one of them. Sorry. 


10/30/2010 5:10:44 PM
I generally don't like meeting people one-on-one. I have little love for small talk and I'd rather go someplace interesting if I'm going to go out. Day to day, I don't like socializing in person - I go to work, come home, and get on the computer. Yes, I'm that much of a geek.

1/26/2009 7:52:26 PM
Nixing my photos. Get a lot of rude "wow you have big jugs" emails. Just.. foolish people.

Gotta get a new one that doesn't stir up the armpit fetishists too - that isn't my intent, and I do apologize to those who I've misled. I am in no way interested in pit worship.

8/31/2008 8:57:43 AM
Pending another rewrite that's a LITTLE less grumpy. Just for all you new people, I'm a horrible homebody and I really don't have a lot of motivation to go out just to "get out of the house". It sucks, but when the internet's cheaper than going out for dinner, you eat frozen food and count yourself lucky.

3/29/2008 11:37:02 PM
Mmm. I just.. feel good. Already looking forward to next week. Have a good weekend, everyone.

3/29/2008 1:32:36 PM
Going out to a public playspace for the first time in four years. Nervous as all hell. I hope I put in a good showing. Going low-key, with pup on my leash, and hoping to at least have a good conversation or two.

11/4/2006 2:48:14 PM
Sorry to anyone I was writing with.. I'll try to catch up sometime. I just am tired of a few things, and am not going to be checking in here very often for a bit.

9/23/2006 12:31:29 PM
Is it so odd to write well and want to understand what's being written? My typing seems to be very intimidating around here. Is cultured respect so rare that speaking with intelligence is dubbed arrogance, despite the content of what's said?

12/14/2005 4:43:49 PM
Profile undergoes occasional (constant) changes and edits. I'm weird like that. I keep working to find better ways to put things.

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GddsKristy
 
 Age: 33
 Montreal, Canada