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compactsub
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futureproof
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| I have room in my house for a boy who is ready for control.
I seek a sex-magic counterpart: I'll take and you'll give your body and mind; I'll rule and you'll worship my life and body. I'm not particularly spiritual, but am drawn to sex-based ritual and bdsm in the context of co-created mythology.
I am not looking for a boy who just wants to be instructed in every action. I'm looking for a boy who finds out what I like and uses his creativity and wisdom to go out of his way to please me, who takes risks and understands that sometimes those will bring reward and sometimes punishment. One who cares for his body in order to please his master with it. I am fair and respect your submission.
Besides the power dynamic, I also enjoy a variety of kinks... bondage, ws, cbt, toys/fisting.
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When a world is built in your head, you can get caught up in the momentum of it turning and lose your footing in the world you actually live in. Not good or bad just something to watch for in oneself because I think if you are going to live in more than one world, it’s important to know where each begins and leaves off, and have clear paths between them. Get lost in your head and that whole world might be imperiled by the one at your feet. So it is with kinksters, of whom a subpopulation, due to shyness, physical features, or other unavailability of opportunity, have fantasies more developed than their realities. I was browsing the Mr. S Leather website last night and many deions of their products describe how the user can apply the product to themselves without assistance: an acknowledgment that many shoppers will be exploring their fantasy worlds alone. I live in both worlds. I’ve had some rewarding play experiences and I have also spent (many more) hours browsing websites and chatting online or on my phone with people I most likely will never meet. I tell myself that the reason for this is the sexual dysfunction that has frustrated me most of my life and that lends insecurity to any interaction (and that I can never boast of the sexual prowess that seems stolen from me). In the online world one comes across personal profiles or other evidence of people who live a BDSM-fulfilled life in their original world. Their fantasies are apparently fully actualized and I wonder what that is like. Specifically, I wonder what changes when your fantasies are no longer fantasies: when you’ve lived them out and they no longer exist independently in their own world separate from reality. Does the fantasy become normalized and you have to keep pushing the boundary into darker or more extreme territory in order to find the same excitement? I suppose it depends on what quotient of the fantasy was the activity itself versus the improbability of it happening (or unpalatability to “regular” folks: shame-based excitement; it’s more fun because it’s not allowed). Our society puts a higher value on interactions with people “IRL (in real life)” than virtually. It’s important to recognize that we may choose to personally adopt this social value, or not. In fact a well-developed fantasy muscle might actually give the brick-and-mortar kink life a boost it might not get from having dived in headfirst. Testing the waters can provide useful data that create an informed consumer. The practice of keeping an open mind can benefit many aspects of ones life: career, friendships, social communities, etc. It can also make you the “crazy” one, since many people are threatened by such freedom. My point is not that fantasy is good or bad. Feeling free to live in fantasy may provide some real satisfaction. On the other hand it may reduce the impetus to seek out exploration with others in person, and possibly should not replace physical, sexual contact. Fantasy may not be healing in the way that body contact can be; the affects of physical touch are scientifically documented. Further, when you experience a malfunction in kink play with another person, the weight of that loss is shared and diffused (so long as the vibe doesn’t turn too negative). And when you have a successful kinky interaction, that success is magnified by the other person’s presence. |
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I like things to be nuanced yet concrete. Interpreted creatively within a known framework. Two primary tropes in the BDSM world appeal: the Submissive and the Slave.
The Submissive/Sir relationship is based first on personal chemistry, valued companionship, and mutually-earned trust. The parties happen to share aligning BDSM interests that may be an important (critical!) part of their lifestyles. The dominant may be the decision-maker but that authority is bestowed upon him by the submissive and it can be rescinded, and so there is a balance of power at the heart of the relationship. There is room for slack and forgiveness without weakening the Sir’s position.
The appeal of the Slave is in the true simplicity of the relationship. The Slave finds fulfillment in the application of complete authoritarianism, so the balance of power skews toward the authoritarian in exchange for acceptance of responsibility for the health and safety of the slave. The Master cares less about complimentary personalities and more about physical appearance and ability, absolute completion of assigned tasks, and proper training and discipline. Things can be black and white and logic is superfluous: in a headspace this heavy, the Why doesn’t matter any more. Feelings and emotions are almost detrimental to the pure dynamic: excessive sentimental attachment may make the Master appear weak. Technically the slave submitted willingly and is free to leave, but skillful conditioning may make that decision difficult for him. |
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| Age: 48 |
| Greensboro,
North Carolina |
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