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First and foremost, I am not interested in online-only relationships or chatting. I don't knoc
Female Dominant, 44,  Raleigh, Thailand


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Age: 99, Height: 6ft 0in (183 cm), Weight: 225 lbs.
Location: Wilmington, North Carolina
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StraightMale Dominant
Age: 39, Height: 5ft 9in (175 cm), Weight: 185 lbs.
Location: Reno, Nevada
Last on 5/15/17 at 12:38 AM











Last Online:


 Dominant Female



 5' 6"

 170 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Male

Submissive Female

Submissive Male

Switch Women

Switch Men

Submissive Trans


First and foremost, I am not interested in online-only relationships or chatting. I don't knock it, I just have a preference for real flesh meeting and interaction. This means that if we hit it off, you will be expected to make efforts to meet me in real life.


I run a private Female-Led Relationships  group on Facebook. Please feel free to request to join. Female dominants and tops and male and female submissives and switches interested in learning more about FemDom and FLRs are welcome. I also run an open group on FetLife:





I am a primarily dominant woman. I do switch in sexual play, and I enjoy it, with the right people. However, my energy is dominant, or alpha, if you prefer. I would never be a good "submissive" for anyone.


I am super-smart and interested in your mind as much as your body. I'm good at sex and sensuality and believe there is more to a successful encounter than a grab for the genitals.


I am poly-minded. I am also very selective.


What my poly usually looks like is that I take lovers/submissives as I choose (did I mention I'm selective? I did. I flirt A LOT, and like to explore possibilities), and I share my toys with my friends, women and men, as preferences allow. It's a good time for all.


In my friend choices, I am wide open and accept all manner of personality quirks and foibles. In my partner choices, I am more rigid.


I am NOT new to the lifestyle. I've been a registered member on FL for 8+ years, and that was just a recent phenomenon. Look me up by the same name there to learn more about me, if you'd like. I also write how-to books about the lifestyle, essays and stories, often about Female-Led Relationships, but not always.


I am looking to meet new people, outside of my current circles. For friendship, possibly for play (I tend towards long-term arrangements—less than a handful in the past 20 years. To be clear: I don't play casually).


I am also looking specifically for a primary partner. I'm not desperate, or needy. I just like to have that companionship. I have a long-term Pet that I adore and see often (he's featured in a few of my photos, including a pic of him in stockings and a cage). I also cuckold him.


I am looking for clean, attractive, engaging, and wanting to be led. I don't do bratty.


Different body types are considered. The spark is the key. I am moderately active, so being able to keep up (and possibly enjoying some woodland scenes) is important.


For the men:


I am open to the possibility of partnering with a dominant man for love and co-topping, but that would take a truly spectacular man and dominant to earn my heart and mind.


You are a driven, sometimes-aggressive submissive male/slave who enjoys your masculinity and surrendering to me.


You are also preferably heteroflexible or bi. It helps satisfy my greed, LOL! That said, a VERY suitable straight man could be considered.


For the women:


You enjoy courtship and being treated like a woman, being told you are a good girl, and beautiful, while sparring intellectually, and letting your hair down for fun.


You enjoy spending time with women and men, and feeling that rush of sexual energy running through you all day long.


You may be a lesbian or not interested in men sexually. That's possible for the right candidate. Although I would love a completely bisexual girl (who finds my Pet attractive as well), there need not be contact between he and you. However, there would need to be comfort in nakedness and side-by-side serving, with the understanding that no boundaries would ever be crossed.


For all ya'll (in the south, yannow):


You are submissive, and wanting to revel in the deep trust and affection that goes along with offering another your mind, heart, and body.


You get hot texting with your partner(s) to create the sexual tension leading to an intense evening together.

You realize that creating a red hot D/s relationship is often not simple, but it should feel easy, fun and sexy, and the rewards are beyond most people's wildest imaginations.


You realize that attraction does rely at least partially on looks.


Your looks are not all I am interested in, though. You must be smart, curious, interesting, and communicate well to catch my eye.


We will take it slow. I am not interested in collaring you within the week, or beating you black and blue on our first meeting (if ever). I am very into the mental aspects of D/s, and I am the primary leader. I will take your mind for a journey of sexual freedom, self-love, and finding yourself in trust and adoration for your domme.



Consent is critical. As is communication. And affection.

When writing, please introduce yourself, send a photo (if you do not have one in your profile), and tell me exactly what caught your interest in this profile. If you are not within an hour or so of me geographically, then also provide your plan for meeting me in person within the next two weeks. If you write wanting more than a simple friendship without ANY of these things, I may ask you ONCE, I may simply decline. I prefer someone with an attention to detail and a willingness to perform.

Thank you for reading, and best of luck in fulfilling your fantasies!

Journal Entries:
1/6/2018 2:54:37 AM

No, Your Culture Does Not Get To Dictate MY Pleasure

I'll admit, I still don't get the Orgasm Gap thing, even though I've written about it before.

In this post, the quote I picked up on was:

"According to both the books I’ve read on it, the orgasm gap exists primarily because our culture still overvalues penile pleasure and undervalues clitoral pleasure. "

What does culture have to do with when you are in bed with someone?

I mean, you may overvalue penile pleasure (and for me, there is a LOT to be valued), while I value my clitoral pleasure a great deal.

And I'm going to communicate my values in bed.

Fuck, I'll communicate my values BEFORE bed.


Because I want to make sure, going in, that anyone I four legged frolic with is going to know some of the amazing ways to please me, and agree that those are, indeed, super-duper fun things that we will definitely do.

And culture doesn't play into that.

Because it's MY body and my bed and my pleasure, and my consent. And I'm not consenting to the penile-only culture (if that's what it really is, I dunno).

Because culture is grossly wrong in a lot of areas, right?

We all agree that culture is wrong on SOMETHING, being a part of FetLife, which is most assuredly counter-culture.

So, why should we should allow culture to control how we frame our relationships, communicate, and even have sex, as women?

And for all the other genders, are you OK with this?

This idea that CULTURE dictates how you get to live and love and have sexy times?

My answer is clear, "No, your culture does not get to dictate my pleasure, thank you very much."

1/2/2018 4:23:13 AM

If you're anything like me, and you're making another complete change in your life and the way you do things, searching for the ever-elusive PERFECTION monster, It can be a bit embarrassing.

Because it doesn't always work.

I sometimes feel shame over other things that didn't pan out.

Maybe I don't want to tell anyone about a new something I'm testing or trying or another idea that might fail.

But you know what I've learned?

Whether you are a billionaire or homeless, people who don't like you are always gonna have dumb shit to say, whether you are making a change, trying a new project, or just sitting on your ass doing nothing different, day in and day out.

Who GAF?

They aren't feeding me.

They aren't fucking me.

They aren't financing me.

So, I'll just hold my head high and do what I need to do for me and my tribe and my life.

12/30/2017 4:05:20 AM

I've Heard People Claim That BDSM Is Like The Island Of Misfit Toys...

...and I don't fully disagree.

I do, often and loudly, disagree with the tone in which it's said, and the implication many seem to make that kink is full of crazy people.

In fact, that's generally less true than of the average population, according to studies.

However, there is a bit of the misfit in all of us, after all, our romance, sex and recreational activities are far from the mainstream.

And that we all, in our years until we found our kink (and therefore much of ourselves) experienced monachopsis.


n. the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place, as maladapted to your surroundings as a seal on a beach—lumbering, clumsy, easily distracted, huddled in the company of other misfits, unable to recognize the ambient roar of your intended habitat, in which you’d be fluidly, brilliantly, effortlessly at home. —from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

So when I came across this word, it struck a chord in me, deeply and poignantly, and I wanted to share it with you.

What do you think? Does monachopsis suit you, or has it suited you in the past?

12/17/2017 11:32:12 PM

But! But! You're Not Helping Me!

He said:

We met about two years ago. You've never desired me "now."
Which is life :)
Just makes me sad

I replied:

You’ve not put in the engagement to inspire that.

He said:

I want to - just in ANY way where it's not a social public kinkster setting

I replied:

I told you from the beginning that that’s how I work.

He said:

That's half the reason most humans who have kinks are still in the closet
It's sad really

I replied:

Well, then you (and they) have to deal with the consequences of your choices.

He said:

Haha - with more understanding people?
It's like telling someone who's struggling to not see a counselor. To first go to a public meeting and talk to people you don't know or aren't necessarily qualified

I replied:

You are complaining that people like me aren’t changing our preferences to suit you, just because you think that it’s difficult.
I’m not telling you not to do this in private.
I’m saying you doing it in private your way is not my problem.

He said:

Yep. Understood.
You gave me the impression you were trying to help those who wanted to learn the lifestyle
Sounds like you've elevated yourself

I replied:

I do help.
I don’t change myself to help.
I will answer questions, and I have always been here for you.
So, I think this conversation is over now.
Maybe you can reach out some other time, if you’d like, once you are done with blaming me for your failure to find your kinky playmates.

This is not unusual.

I'm happy to help. Anyone. Especially a charming, sweet guy like this that I've actually met locally and invited to numerous events from super-kinky to just hanging out with people.

He's turned them all down in favor of wanting one-on-one.

And that is his right.

And the right of everyone who wants kink—to get the kink they want AND protect their lifestyle.

The fact of the matter is, the more restrictions you put on how a person can help you, the less helpful they can be. And the less you get out where kinky people are likely to be, the fewer kinky people you are likely to meet.

Is it impossible to keep all your kink in private?


However, if you come to me, and I tell you I'm all about the community, don't think you're going to:

1. Lure me into your bedroom with a message once every fewm months telling me how you want me.
2. Convince me to recommend you to other women like myself, when you've not bothered putting in any effort to show me who you really are.
3. Guilt me by telling me I'm not being helpful, because I won't do things YOUR way.

I'm helpful in the ways that feel good to me, and that are comfortable. And I offer that help to anyone who asks.

You want more, you earn it, or find someone else.

Don't whine that I (or anyone else for that matter) am not being helpful enough.

12/7/2017 2:17:07 AM

I Ain't Never Had That GOOD Dick


I mean, I THOUGHT I had had some really good sex in my life. Like, banging through walls, 200+ orgasms, screaming, getting all the dogs in the neighborhood howling with me, even sex-induced aphasia... but I know better, now.

Because I've never, in the throes of pleasure, when he "hitting dem waaalls like she needed him to hit dem waaalls" slapped the man I was fucking in spiritual ecstasy.

Damnit! Where is my powerful "deep spiritual heat seeking missile"?


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