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I've gotten some emails lately which make me realize this profile is woefully out of date.&nbs
Female Dominant, 40,  Lewiston, Maine


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Last Online:


 Dominant Female



 5' 8"

 198 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Submissive Male

Submissive Trans

Sub/Sub Couples

Friends Only


I've gotten some emails lately which make me realize this profile is woefully out of date.  I've got a life on fast-forward, and frankly no time for any romantic involvements.  If you think you'd like to be a friend to a liberal, intellectual, scifi geek with an affinity for Dr Who and Star Trek, hobby farming and paleo cooking, then we might get along. Otherwise I must wish you the best of luck as I focus on the more mundane details of life.

For those who missed it the first time -I AM NOT, I repeat, NOT looking to or for: engaging in any random play with strangers, leaping into the sack, pursuing a hot ticket, wild thing, booty, piece of ass, or other sexually charged anything at this time.  You'd be grossly disappointed in my sexual appetite, and likely, I in your intellectual stimulation value, should you try to pursue me for any of the listed activities of disinterest.

That said, here's my older ad.  Its so you can get a better picture of me, not necessarily so you can know me 'better'.

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My style of dominance supposedly intimidates some people in the local scene.  They have seen minion and I do take down scenes with punches, kicks, body blows, etc.  They have seen him climb a St Andrew's cross to escape a good flogging or single tail whipping.  These are not my only mode of operation.  It is however a delightful way to play when public spaces give us the room to do so.  

I can also be affectionate and nurturing.  I enjoy intimate time, play mixed with sex, and rewarding my submissives when they do well.  Brat types will get a slightly different experience, just ask minion...

I tend to guide and direct my 'charges' and encourage good decisions in their vanilla lives.  If you are someone who thrives under that kind of guidance we may be a good fit. 

If I viewed and Favorited your profile, it means I didn't have time to type out an email or wasn't sure the compatibility was there.  I encourage an email response if you see me on your admirers list.


It seems strange that I have to address this, but here we are in a modern age where hookups are the norm and human connection is reduced to internet game playing.  I have very basic ground rules.  Yet they are critical.

I must like you as a person before I entertain the idea of 'play'.  Until then, your kinks are almost entirely irrelevant to me. 

Even once we meet, the process of 'getting involved' will be a slow one. 

If you stop responding, I'll assume you're not interested.

I am patient yet proactive in my pursuit of a 'good match'.  You should be too.  Yes, patience is indeed a virtue, and cliche or not, you get out of a situation what you put into it.

My ad from FL:

I am a lifestyle Dominant with many years in the public and private scene. I live in Maine with my partner, slave, and husband, known as minion. I also visit San Antonio and Las Vegas periodically and occasionally update my city to reflect that fact.


We have a female partner involved in our lives, and this takes a great deal of time. So be aware that my availability is limited.


I prefer someone with a good understanding of themselves and their needs, if not actual experience.


We lean toward the practical-intellectual, rather than academic; with a socially liberal political alignment. While we are classed as liberal, we do not participate in or allow "420" in our home. We are light drinkers, and do not mix intoxication and kink. We are also active in outdoors activities; hunting, fishing, camping and target shooting during warmer months.



I have dreams of long term, stable bonds within this lifestyle. If this is your dream as well, I'd love to hear from you.



Have you read the Anita Blake series of books?  It's by Laurell K Hamilton, a "modern fantasy" genre author.  If you've read most of them, you know the sense of home she creates for those she loves and watches over.  I currently have a partner who is outwardly strong and physical, martial arts trained and pragmatic.  I'm seeking to add someone akin to a Nathaniel or Damian from the books, a partner who is comfortable respecting what is here already, but understands there can be a place for the right secondary as well.   This person should enhance, compliment, and blend with what is already here. 


Feel free to ask me about this if you'd like to learn more.

Journal Entries:
12/11/2016 2:16:23 PM

Relationships take time.

Time is precious, more valuable as I get older, in fact.
To earn my time takes effort.
Most people don’t put in a lot of effort, here or elsewhere online.


I am several deviations from the mean in terms of sexuality, attraction, desire, and libido. Don’t bother trying to get me hot ‘n bothered through traditional means. 
Actually, I'd prefer you not try to get me hot 'n bothered at all. If I'm interested in such things, you'll be notified.  Conversation however, is welcome.  Just take care what territory you cover.

I appreciate people of depth, intellect, loyalty, motivation, drive, etc. 

I don't cyber, or do phone sex, or otherwise offer gratification to people I meet through the digital world.  Ick, ugh, bleh, ptooey. No thanks.  Go find someone else to pester if that's your goal. 

For what little time I have to spend here, I seek mind-wise kindred spirits.  Tough ask, I know.

3/16/2015 12:41:06 PM
I could really use a kitchen minion today...

2/3/2015 3:21:17 AM
So many people seem to be looking for casual sex and fetish fulfillment.  Good luck with that!  Have fun!  It's not for me.

I find casual sex boring.  Yep, I said it.  It's dull.  It's mechanical to me, not titillating or exciting. I'd rather go see a movie.


Let me get into your head a bit.  Tell me what makes you tick.  Let me push your buttons.  Let me make you squirm.  IF I can crawl inside your mind and start making the world turn upside down, THEN you'll know I'm having a damned good time.

7/8/2014 2:04:05 PM

Before you post to a group asking for 'someone to teach you all about this' or invite random scary people by announcing you 'know nothing and are a total newb', please read this.

I get this kind of request a LOT, both individually and in groups. Having just posted this in a nearby group, I thought I'd put it out as general writing.

To the person posting wanting a mentor to guide them through the waters of kinky fun, who is sick of being told to go to munches, who doesn't like them, who doesn't feel comfortable in big crowds, who is intimidated by gatherings of people already getting their kink on, who just wants a person of their potential partner demographic to talk to them (sub men approaching top women for example), I get it.

You want one on one time with someone who 'gets it' about the scene. You might have awkward questions or things you'd like to discuss one on one. Because lets face it, it's a little weird that random people are sitting around you during such a discussion. Truthfully, munches aren't the place for those chats anyway. That's later, long after you've talked about the weather and your favorite sports team over Chinese food.

As I was saying, I get it. You want guidance, mentorship, a role model! Yay! But seriously, asking individuals in an established group to take a complete stranger under their wing just isn't realistic.

Here's how I put it to my minion recently...

Imagine I want to be a police officer. So I got to the bar where they all hang out and I start talking with a few about how I really want to be a police officer. I think its right for me, and I'd be good at it! They tell me to got to school for it. But I tell them this takes too long! There are too many people, it's crowded, and intimidating, and I don't understand why you won't just teach me, when I'm right here ready to go. Show me your gun, your badge, your cuffs! I love CUFFS!!!! My intentions are good.. I swear!

The look of disbelief from the officer would be pretty epic. Possibly followed by a breathalyzer test. And it's not just because going to police academy is the way you're supposed to do it. It's because its effective. And it's because their time is valuable. They have earned their uniform. To suggest that you should have the easier route just isn't fair to them, their effort, their time, their worth as people.

Add to this the dimensions of BDSM, and sexuality, and relationships. Now we've also got an undercurrent of expectations potentially present. Is a sub man looking for a femdom to 'learn from'? Is it learning, or is it hoping for a date? The unspoken question hangs in the air nearly constantly. I'm not saying this is your situation, its just the one I personally encounter somewhat regularly as a female top type.

The reality is, folks who've been doing this for a long-ass time, myself included, have invested countless hours in the process. Either through attending munches, or reading, or being introduced by existing friends. We have observed technique at play parties, demos, and fetish flea markets. We have paid our dues, in some cases literally, to get that exposure to the scene and its inhabitants.

The thing we all have in common is that it took TIME.

And patience!

Persevere. Seriously, do! This is a good world you're trying to get into. Just also try to appreciate the time and effort others have put in, in order to get where they are. Honor their efforts and energies, and be respectful. Make your self visible by attending events. Demonstrate your character through your actions. Participate in conversations. If the opportunity arises to volunteer to assist at an event, to set up for someone's house party etc, take that opportunity. Sign up. Pitch in.

When you do these things, people will notice the nature of your personality. And sooner or later, you'll either have learned the things you needed and decided who is your 'style' to gravitate to, or someone will approach you. You'll have the context in which to operate on a kink level, and the resources to tap so you're not just working from cool YouTube videos.

We've all been where you are. I wish you the very best as you navigate the process.

7/5/2014 1:44:27 AM
I have a new interest, thanks to a friend: fire play! Strangely, my minion finds it relaxing.

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