happy Boxing Day!  I thought that would be fitting for a D/s site!

I have found that I have a gift serving as the antagonist in rape fantasies.  Understand me when I stress fantasies.  Each scene has signs, counter-sings, safe words and signals, etc.  Consensual non-consensual with a stranger, at the first meeting.  So far, so good.  I've had no complaints as to my technique.  All the subjects seem to have thoroughly enjoyed the experience, some asking for additional encounters.

I ran across a couple of good quotes today about spanking for punishment, and I think they apply broader than that.

"I m causing her pain, I'm not causing her injury."  I cannot stress enough the difference between a constructive BDSM relationship and an abusive one.  If you deserve a punishment, I want to harm you, not hurt you.  There IS a difference.

"The reason that we're doing this is not to make her butt hurt, the reason we're doing this is to make her cry, make her have an emotional reaction."  I think this epitomizes corporal punishment.  It's not sexual, nor sadistic.  Punishment is to correct undesirable behavior.  That requires a genuine desire to change, and punishment is a motivator.  Physical pain pales in comparison to embarrassment, humiliation,  knowledge that you disappointed someone you care for.  The physical pain is a reminder, an emotional trigger.

Pain can be fun, it can enhance pleasurable experiences.  It can relieve stress, cause entry into subspace.  But pain is the tool not the goal.  Pain is the journey, not the destination.  I can find the infliction of pain, during playtime, to be enjoyable.  For me, it's about response and reaction.  What does pain do to her?  As a result, I can accomplish with a little pain in one person that another might need a great deal of pain to achieve.

Pain during punishment is not enjoyable.  And it shouldn't be.  Responsible punishment should not cause pleasure to either party, sexual or otherwise.  I don't desire to punish subs that I play with.  I do, occasionally, find it necessary.  And I will do it when it is needed.

The mascara as it runs down your cheeks, carried by tears... the reddening of your face... the echo of my hand slapping you.

My hand on you throat, tightening, constricting, blocking... the change of color in your face... as I mount you, enter you, use you.

Your tongue against my shaft... the head against the soft palette of the back of your throat... your gasps for air each time I pump your face.

These are the sensations I love.  Beyond the tactile, into the visual, the audible, the olfactory.

I disdain using the term 'partner' to describe what I'm looking for.  That implies some level of equality between us.  That is not the case.  I'm not looking for an 'equal', and neither are the subs nor slaves on here.  That power mismatch dynamic is exactly what we are all looking for.

"The slave is responsible to the Master. The Master is responsible to the entire relationship."

~ a Master quoted by Jack Rinella in A Master's Manual       

I cannot emphasize enough that any M/s relationship is first a relationship, then M/s (or D/s, or O/p).  That 'R' word seems to scare some people, and perhaps it should.  It seems awfully close to the 'C' word that men seem to hate (Commitment, for the curious).  A M/s relationship requires Commitment, on all parties.

Why I don't have a face photo on my profile:  I work in a, shall we say, 'sensitive' industrial sector.  I value my privacy very much, and as such, don't need every Jack or Jane seeing my face on here in passing.  I'm reasonable, and willing to share, once I believe the time is right.

There is value in pain that you will find nowhere else in life.  Spikes in the pit can make you climb much faster than gold in the sky.

For those I have, and those I will speak with.  I am NOT your Master nor Owner.  I will not treat you as such.  Manners matter, and I'm not the stereotypical 'I'm a Dom, therefore I must be a Dick, as well' type of man.