Nothing to do with anything, but I thought I'd offer this -- which I'll likely never get to experience: Owning one who will consent to have not only her nipples pierced and ringed, but also her clitoral hood and labia. Small, delicate silver rings, all. Why? One, I just like the way it looks. It's jewelry. But just for me (or is that "us?"). But, second, a "Y" shaped delicate chain from nipples to clit ring worn under clothes would cause incessant tugging and pulling on all three. I would think that would make just about normal "s" crazy wet, having to endure that non-stop. Add a Princess Jewel plug, and she'd go insane from the "squirmies" after about an hour. Lovely. And finally, if the labial rings are located correctly, a very small, ornamental padlock interconnecting all three rings would be a very effective chastity device barring entry, while, at the same time, would provide constant reminder and arousal input. And no, you are _not_ allowed to cum, my dear. So, you can't get anything in your wet cunt, because it's mine, and I've locked you out. But you're being constantly clit-fondled and stroked and nipple-teased because of my padlock and chain, which is exciting you physically and emotionally, but you face the internal struggle of complying with the command not to climax and release. Exquisite torment and delightful exercise in self-discipline, is it not? But no one on this site seems to be able to read between the lines of my profile and see what magnificent delights might await if they are patient enough to reply and endure consideration. I wonder if this scenario would interfere unduly with her appetite and demeanor when I take her out for dinner and then to the opera next Friday night in the new formal dress I bought her? Sadly, neither of us will likely ever find that out, either, since she suddenly and inexplicable quit responding to contact. So impatient and short-sighted you all are! --MMD

More "no limits" nonsense offers. Tired of explaining, so will do so here, once and for all. Why do I insist on Hard Limits and Safewords? It’s simple, really. I want to hear you scream because it turns you on to hear yourself let go. I want to listen to you beg me to stop, when you don’t really want me to. I want your throat to be raw from moaning and whimpering and sobbing (and use) when we’re done. I want to watch as you thrash about in your bonds or jump from impact. But most importantly, I want you to be safe, to have an "out," and that I know, in any instant or event, that nothing has gone wrong, that I have no gone too far, that no matter what sounds or cries or tears or screams I may evoke, that your consent is intact and that you revel from my attentions. No, we will not engage without Safewords, you silly girl. I may earn your praise, but I will incur no risk of guilt.

The "canned" responses and solicitations from "slaves" continue to amuse me. The assertions of total obedience. Always "well-trained," of course, but then include a laundry list of sexual prowess. If you’re so well-trained, sweetie, you’d know better than to offer such, since your fuck-holes and the rest of you will be used as your Master – not you – sees fit, anyway, you silly thing. But I guess that parade of skills snags the unthinking or ignorant wannabees, even though it’s just so obvious! So I’ve penned one of my own canned responses, and included it here, since none of the pretenders ever reads a Profile to see just who their future Owner is all about -- another obvious failure on their part to make even the slightest attempt at appearing genuine. Maybe if one reads this, she’ll actually be inclined to think – which I doubt. More likely she’ll pass me by completely – which is just fine with me. My retort goes like this:

"Thank you for your kind offer of enslavement and the many delightful examples of your sexual prowess and assertions of obedience. I will not advance you funds to secure you. I will however, make you the following counter-offer:

1. I will reimburse your request for travel expenses for you to arrive here for a "probationary trial run" of your indenture to me, at the rate of $10.00 per day of servitude, until reimbursed in full.

2. You will be chained upon your arrival, either about your neck or ankle, permitting a fifty foot radius of movement about the house. You will be otherwise naked, except as I might direct in specific instances.

3. You will begin immediately to demonstrate your obedience, service commitment, and eagerness to please by complying with whatever directives or commands you receive (subject only to Hard Limits and safewords).

4. Your (and my) Hard Limits will be scrupulously observed and will not be breached.

5. Safeword invocation will be likewise scrupulously observed; however, repeated invocation of safeword protocol without just cause may, in my discretion, be construed as manifesting a disobedient attitude so as to avoid compliance via artifice. Should I determine that you are insincere in your commitment, I reserve the right to terminate your probation and send you on your way with sincere "Good Luck With That" wishes as you seek to trade up to a more benevolent, fair, honorable, and caring Master elsewhere. Should such termination ensue for your attempted manipulative ploy, you will, of course, forfeit any claim for further reimbursement.

6. You are free to cancel, revoke, or rescind your probationary term at any time, with or without cause, immediately secure your release from enfetterment, and be permitted to depart immediately, unharmed and unimpeded. Should you do so, however, you will forfeit any claim for further reimbursement.

Let me know if/when you are ready to stop "playing games" and get serious about your desires. I suspect I will hear nothing further from you. Since you, not I, are the supplicant, that’s fine, too; it’s completely your choice as to how you wish to proceed, if at all. I await your reply, if any. –MMD

Today’s hilarity goes like this: (1) send overture to initiate dialogue. (2) in the rare case that it’s not peremptorily ignored or "Deleted Unread," and a reply actually is made, it’s generic and full of canned promises of undying devotion and commitment, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda, from one who has not even bothered to read my profile, to see what kind of person to whom she’s offering herself to be invasively used, controlled, and managed. (3) Sure, hun; that makes sense – if you’re an idiot, in which case I’m not interested. But, more likely, you’re just another scammer simply trying to redirect me to your Pay-to-View webcam site or some other phishing expedition. I mean, really, does that actually work on anyone? Must be an awful lot of chumps out there for you to prey on. (4) Just on the what-if, though, and "benefit-of-the-doubt" theory, I send a reply that asks for actual response to my initial query. (5) If any reply comes, it’s another canned obfuscation. I guess that kind of bait must work, or you’d desist doing so, but, sheesh; could it be any more obvious to anyone with half a brain that you're a fake? (6) Block another pretender, and try again.

Two items of curiosity:

(1)

I wonder why so many Profiles show vital stats that either do not include body weight or contain information that is patently impossible? A woman of 5'7" can not weigh 48 lbs. Based on the number of women with two-digit weight figures, CS must be a haven for chronic anorexics. If you’re sensitive about your weight, why engage in such outrageous fabrication as to be an alert to the very aspect you’re trying to avoid? Seems counter-productive.

(2)

I can find no discernible reason to account for the fact that the most attractively presenting Profiles are disproportionately sourced from women in the U.K. It can’t be coincidence. But you sure do seem to have your shit together, Miss Brits!

Another one today – and this not so funny. Seemingly marvelous gal: funny, witty, gregarious, charming, candid. Email starts up. She’s great. Seems to like me, too. Geographical distance apart, but that’s mere logistics that can be resolved, depending on how things go. She claims "sub," not "slave." Fine. Me, I just want to partner up with the right gal for either D/s or M/s. But she’s impatient (as so many are!). In a big hurry. As if some train is going to leave the station without her. Steady, hun. Nope. Couldn’t control what’s apparently a bad case of sub-frenzy: you know, that new relationship energy that makes a person throw all caution out the window and use their pink bits instead of their brains. Yeah, it can happen to anyone and usually does at the outset when that giddiness of "hey, maybe this one’s the one!" keeps crashing in on you. One would think that a sub, of all people, would "get" that such a moment is absolutely the right time actually to be the sub – to stop, think, and remember that it’s the Dom – me – to whom she’s considering submitting, that she wants me to be the one to set the rules, to form the guidelines, and to control the pace at which we go forward, to remember that she is first and foremost a human being to me, and that, while things may not be going at a pace that she wants, that by following my lead she is doing what pleases me and that, by going more slowly, she actually increases the probability we will end up finding something that works for us both. But no; she wants immediate phoning and texting and skyping or whatever. So I send her a private email address, rather than rely on CS, to permit sending attachments and the like, and permit a bit more flexibility within the cautionary restraint that’s proven wise in the past. And the last message I get is: "This is too weird for me. I have plenty of men who give transparency up front. Good luck in your search." and blocked me so that I couldn’t reply. If you have all sorts of guys giving you what you need, why did you spend so much time talking with me, ma’am? Oh, yeah, sub-frenzy. Maybe she’ll read this and think it over. Maybe someone else will and get something helpful out of it. Maybe not.

Today’s bit of humor. Saw a Profile come up with interesting notes and possibly some commonality. But the notes were replete with complaint about "fakers and ‘bullshit artists’ and don’t bother contacting me if you’re one of those" and so on. So I sent her the following: "It is a never-ending source of mirth to me to read profiles that complain of fakes, pretenders, and seeking "the real deal," when a simple overture to begin a dialogue is met with the "click-delete" of the photo-surfer. Are you one such as to be engaging in precisely the B.S. of which you complain? We'll see, I suppose. --MMD" Seven hours later, I saw that she had read my message and had not bothered to read my Profile before declining to reply with even a "Thanks, no thanks." You might want to consider removing that bit in your Profile complaining about "bull-shitters", Princess. That, or go take a look in the mirror. Priceless!

The quest continues. A truly interesting befuddlement. It’s simply impossible to believe the extent to which players abound. The purported "slaves" are the most intriguing. Promise the moon, say the right things, but clueless as to what they’re about. Do they really not understand the gravity of the M/s dynamic? Over and over again I read the same hackneyed phrases "experienced slave" and "seeks Master," but little or no detail of what experience they bring to the table, leaving any genuine M to attempt to parse out the serious from the frivolous. Too bad CS doesn’t have a category for self classification labeled "Women Photo-Surfing Beefcake Rich Idiots for Rough Sex;" would weed out a lot of the pretenders.

I am beginning to wonder if I am the sole person here on CS who actually is who he represents himself as being. Profile after Profile after Profile comes up with little or no text notes, containing a mere two or three lines of offering herself "for 'no limits' slavery for her sought-after 'real' Master," but who then meets my initial overture with maddening silence, "read - delete" response, or the even more puzzling "Deleted Unread." Then there’s the ones who actually do respond, but haven’t even taken the time to read the notes from the one they’re responding to. Then there’s the ones who post pics of "themselves" and it’s clear that they’re either super-models or just lucky that Mother Nature made them the stunning creatures they are. As if any such purported sub or slave would ever find any hardship whatsoever having a perpetual lineup of Dumb Drooling Doms vying for their attention! The money-scammers are just funny! They’re so obvious; does anyone out there fail to see through the obvious transparency? Unbelievable. And inclusion of the "willing to relocate" notation is simply the worst kind of cruel joke when offered as a "come-on" – such misleading advertising. And through it all, the all-too-frequent occurrence of text that suggests the authoress is either functionally illiterate or a non-native speaker of English, and hence a fraud of one kind or another. Sheesh. No doubt any who read this might be invited to respond: "Dear MatureMaitreDom, don’t blame me if you’re a useless and unattractive candidate for the gift of my submission or indenture. Not my fault if you’re a jackass, so shut the fuck up with your whiny complaints, why don’t you!" Once, just once, I’d like to hear back: "Sir: Thank you for your interest in me. I have reviewed your Profile, and respectfully decline further interaction with you." /s/ ‘RealSubOrSlave’ Yeah, right. Hasn’t happened yet. We’ll see. And most perplexing of all is the person who actually does make some kind of cogent response and begins a dialogue seemingly in earnest, but who then inexplicably and without notice simply stops responding and leaves the last message to wither and die unread in her Inbox -- almost always, whenever some bit of dialogue actually tests her sincerity. If you’re genuine and sincere, why the sudden silent treatment? Busted as the fake pretender you are? I wonder why I persist in this. Oh, yeah, I forgot: I actually am who I present as being. That makes one of me, I guess. [sigh.]