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Lux88

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Come to the edge, he said. We cant, We will fall! they responded. Come to the edge, he said. And so they came. And he pushed them. And they flew..



Bringing excitement, adventure and satisfaction into every moment you are experiencing.



Im scary enough to turn your adrenaline up, strong enough to bring forth your endorphins and enkephelins, yet I can be gentle enough to set you free to fly. Just because you havent ever experienced it doesnt mean that you cant. Some people dont have any imagination, but the ones who are naturally right do.I have over twenty years of experience in Ds. I also have a good, perhaps warped at times, dry sense of humor.Take me by the hand and follow me step by step and I will take you into a place that youve never ever been before, and Ill show you things that you never even knew you could experience. Now, but if you tug back on me, I wont pull you, Ill let you go. Dont be afraid. Be driven. Show me that of which you are made. I invite you to come and earn your place in my life.The most important things that happen to people, like who they fall in love with, how they become attracted, happens outside their conscious awareness but if they can gain some awareness of it they can gain some measure of choice and control.Suppose we were in a dark room, and it is pitch black and you cant even see your hand in front of your face, and suddenly I give you night vision goggles so what was invisible now becomes completely clear and instead of stumbling you can step around things and find your own path, wouldnt that be great?When you think about what it would be like to meet someone you really want to be with and you imagine all the feelings you would really like to have, I dont know what you picture doing with this person because you can see things happening that would feel so amazing. But isnt it great to know thatthose processes are taking place and you can trust that they are there so you act on what you want right now.What I want to tell you is this That what Ive learned isthat it all starts as a set of signals that you recognize inside your body. For example, whats the first signal you get on the inside that lets you know you are attracted to this person?... But you know this is not for everyone,its only for imaginative and strong and adventurous people who can really handle it.









If you are feeling something warm stirring in you after reading this, that is a good sign, and you know what to do, for all of the right reasons that mean the most to you.



There might be a part of you that needs total control, and that control could be physically, emotionally, or both. There might be a part of you that likes to be hurt and humiliated or degraded and treated like the slut you really are. There might be a part of you, a woman or little girl, who screams in your ear to be to be loved and nurtured. Whatever it is, I will find out. As your Master, I will know whats best for you. I will teach you and train you to know what I expect from you. You will look at me and you will be able to know what I expect just from the look I give you.



My Ideal PersonHave you ever just like seen somebody from across the room, or browsing around and instantaneously had that connection with them? The type of connection that you think about all the time, and you maybe even carry that picture or perhaps that feeling with you wherever you go. You know, as you begin to listen carefully, perhaps you can begin to feel the warmth just spread throughout your whole body. Im sure you can remember a time that you had that happen to you, and you go inside and you let the nervous tension on the inside of your stomach, it just sinks down lower and lower and you get that profound feeling of...AHHH!...UMMM!





Are you the one I seek?...........





You may or may notfeel yourself to be beautiful on the outside. I invite you to realize that I am more concernedwith the woman or little girl still feeling stuck deep inside you. You know the one Im talking about,She isscreaming in your ear for release and tryingto find out who she really is, at her deepest, inner core essence of her being.



You are a woman who helps herself to create an environment in her own mind that helps her feel why I am good for you both before and after you experience it, and you say to herself inside,You make me feel so much like a woman!You make me feel so Good! You make me feel so Sensual.









You might live the vanilla life but need to experience this on a regular or occasional basis.You might need this lifestyle 247. You are someone who is not humorously challenged and can take a joke.Now, I dont know just what it is you do when you find yourself attracted to someone. Like for me, maybe you go inside and you think about all the ways this person touches you in those very special places, in all those special ways. Maybe in ways you have longed to be touched, maybe even since you were a little girl. Maybe this person touches you in ways you never even knew you could be touched...deep inside...youre mine...deep inside your heart of hearts...deep inside that special place...where things are good, where things are true. And when you connect with that place its almost like those thoughts become compulsive. You cant get them out of your head until you act on it.You know you must act on it. You ever had a song in your head and it wont go away? What is it about the way a certain person can affect you, that causes you to think about this person in that special place, in such a way that no matter how you try to deny that desire to act, it takes on a life of its own, Compelling, Vivid, Real, where the voice on the inside says, YES! I want to step into this special place, with this special person and explore anything we can make real together. What would it be like to right now feel all those hidden parts and desires wake up hungry, desiring, alive, real...Realizing that this is the moment, this is the main chance right now. Imagine a time in our future, months....years from now....looking back on this time now as the beginning of an incredible new direction with significance and meaning in your life.Iseek a respectful female submissive with a slave mentality, an insatiabledesire to please, a deep sense of purpose and a strongyearning to reachher highest potential.





Attitude is everything. Your limits will be honored but you will be challenged to expand them. Is it you I seek? Life is short, too short to put off untiI tomorrow what you can have today, If this makes you warm inside thinking about it you do know what to do for all the right reasons that mean the most to you. Write me back and let me know. Go ahead, live it now, I double dare you. If this makes you warm inside thinking about it then write me back and let me know. Life is short, Live it today. Now, write me right away.












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2/9/2015 7:33:16 PM



Once upon a time there was a caterpillar who loved to play, let’s pretend. And when she let her deeper feelings run free, she could imagine the most beautiful scenery. She would visualize far away lands. She would hear the most amazingly beautiful music, the sound of crystal clear streams running through the mountains. She could taste the most sumptuous foods… scent the sweetest perfumes.

Now one day as she was moving through the cabbage she met a moth with glittering golden wings. “Hello” said the moth in his deep rich voice, “Why are cabbages round and green?… I know your S-E-C-R-E-T. You aren'’t really a caterpillar Inside…...Deep Inside, there’s a beautiful butterfly that longs to come out and play, but she’s shy. I know the magic word that will release the butterfly and set her free. Would you like to know the magic word?”

“Oh please” said the caterpillar. “I'’ve always longed to be a beautiful butterfly, to feel the wind against my wings, lifting me higher and higher, closer and closer to the warmth of the sun. I long to go flying over the valleys and the hills, to see the beauty of the birds and the trees and every living thing. Please release me! Set me free. Tell me the magic word.”

And because the caterpillar was able to find that place of true wishes, feel that place of the heart’s deepest desires…the moth unfolded his glittering golden wings to their full width, gently encircled the caterpillar, pulled her close and softly whispered the magic word in her ear.

Now, instantly the butterfly danced through the beautiful blue sky. She sailed over the hills and the valleys and was filled with the joy of every living thing. As the wind lifted her wings higher and higher, she thought her heart would burst with the joy of feeling the warmth of the sun. She glided over a puddle and looking down, saw her reflection, seeing herself for the first time, as she truly was, beautiful and free.

She wanted to dismiss the moth’s magic as a joke, but inside…deep inside…she knew it was true. She no longer needed to pretend…for everything she had pretended had become real…She was already beginning to blossom… She is already beginning to TRANSFORM. Now, would you like to hear the magic word?

BELIEVE… Believe is the magic word… Now, the wonderful thing about stories and the imageries and the feelings they evoke, is how stories allow us to step beyond what we thought we were ready for, what we thought we wanted, into the place, that special place where anything can be possible, where anything can be true. Anything can be explored, discovered…. I feel that when I step into that place and let the imagery and power totally take hold and sweep you away, what a difference in the things you want to do, the things you find yourself hungry for, deserving, wanting now.

 

Now, I don't know if you're the kind of person who can remember being a little girl all snuggled up warm in bed. Maybe you had your favorite blanket, your favorite toy, and you're all curled around it, and you were so relaxed. You didn't even know if your back was pushing down on the mattress or if the mattress is pushing up against your back. You begin to drift into that soft, warm cotton cloud of sleep that only a child an experience it. Now, you begin to dream of that ideal man. The man you dream of, to grow and give yourself to. And in that moment even as a child, those feelings of love flowing through your heart...And maybe through all the disappointments, all the cynicism, all the let downs, all the jerks, all the fool's and loser's of the adult world...Still...SOMEWHERE inside that little girl is there carrying all the love in her heart...waiting for the moment to recognize...at last, at last..."I can open my heart."


2/6/2014 8:14:13 AM

My Ideal Person:
Have you ever just like seen somebody from across the room, or browsing around and instantaneously had that connection with them? The type of connection that you think about all the time, and you maybe even carry that picture with you wherever you go. You know, as you listen to my voice and begin to listen carefully, perhaps you can begin to feel the warmth just spread throughout your whole body. I’m sure you can remember a time that you had that happen to you, and you go inside and you let the nervous tension on the inside of your stomach, it just sinks down lower and lower and you get that profound feeling of...AHHH!...UMMM!





Are you the one I seek?...........



You may or may not feel yourself to be beautiful on the outside. I invite you to realize that I am more concerned with the woman or little girl still feeling stuck deep inside you.You know the one I'm talking about, She is screaming in your ear for release and trying to find out who she really is, at her deepest, inner core essence of her being.

You might live the vanilla life but need to experience this on a regular or occasional basis.

You might need this lifestyle 24/7.

You are someone who is not humorously challenged and can take a joke.

Now, I don't know just what it is you do when you find yourself attracted to someone. Like for me, maybe you go inside and you think about all the ways this person touches you in those very special places, in all those special ways. Maybe in ways you have longed to be touched, maybe even since you were a little girl. Maybe this person touches you in ways you never even knew you could be touched...deep inside...you're mine...deep inside your heart of hearts...deep inside that special place...where things are good, where things are true. And when you connect with that place it's almost like those thoughts become compulsive. You can't get them out of your head until you act on it.You know you must act on it. You ever had a song in your head and it won't go away? What is it about the way a certain person can affect you, that causes you to think about this person in that special place, in such a way that no matter how you try to deny that desire to act, it takes on a life of it's own, Compelling, Vivid, Real, where the voice on the inside says, "YES!" "I want to step into this special place, with this special person and explore anything we can make real together." What would it be like to right now feel all those hidden parts and desires wakeup hungry, desiring, alive, real...Realizing that this is the moment, this is the main chance right now. Imagine a time in our future, months....years from now....looking back on this time now as the beginning of an incredible new direction with significance and meaning in your life.


I seek a respectful female submissive with a slave mentality, an insatiable desire to please, a deep sense of purpose and a strong yearning to reach her highest potential. Attitude is everything. Your limits will be honored but you will be challenged to expand them. Is it you I seek? Life is short, too short to put off untiI tomorrow what you can have today, If this makes you warm inside thinking about it you do know what to do for all the right reasons that mean the most to you. Write me back and let me know. Go ahead, live it now, I double dare you.

Now, I don't know just what it is you do when you find yourself attracted to someone. Like for me, maybe you go inside and you think about all the ways this person touches you in those very special places, in all those special ways. Maybe in ways you have longed to be touched, maybe even since you were a little girl. Maybe this person touches you in ways you never even knew you could be touched...deep inside...you're mine...deep inside your heart of hearts...deep inside that special place...where things are good, where things are true. And when you connect with that place it's almost like those thoughts become compulsive. You can't get them out of your head until you act on it.You know you must act on it. You ever had a song in your head and it won't go away? What is it about the way a certain person can affect you, that causes you to think about this person in that special place, in such a way that no matter how you try to deny that desire to act, it takes on a life of it's own, Compelling, Vivid, Real, where the voice on the inside says, "YES!" "I want to step into this special place, with this special person and explore anything we can make real together." What would it be like to right now feel all those hidden parts and desires wakeup hungry, desiring, alive, real...Realizing that this is the moment, this is the main chance right now. Imagine a time in our future, months....years from now....looking back on this time now as the beginning of an incredible new direction with significance and meaning in your life.


You are a woman who helps herself to create an environment in her own mind that helps her feel why I am good for you both before and after you experience it, and you say to herself inside,“You make me feel so much like a woman!”“You make me feel so Good!” “You make me feel so Sensual.”


Attitude is everything. Your limits will be honored but you will be challenged to expand them. If this makes you warm inside thinking about it then write me back and let me know. Life is short, Live it today.

Now, have you ever experienced the type of connection which really grabs your attention? Do you find it so moving when you are so focused and the atmosphere feels electric and suddenly everything stops?

It's almost like you can be outside doing something,then it seems to start to rain that type of rain that’s warm and comfortable. Next you hear the faint rumbling which gets closer and you know it's going to be big. It’s now when you feel like going inside when you can experience your senses being stimulated by it's mighty power. Have you ever noticed that the storm’s power is trying to communicate a message to you? Now, although it's power is exciting, inside you feel perfectly safe. Often these storms do last and keep the mometum going until finally when it finishes, you are left with this calm and wonderful experience which you can reflect on for a long, long time.
You may or may not feel yourself to be beuatiful on the outside. I invite you to realize that I am more concerned with the woman or little girl still stuck deep inside you.You know the one, She is screaming in your ear for release and trying to find out who she really is, at her deepest, darkest core essence of her being.


Did you ever instantly know you were going to like and trust someone for a long, long time? Like maybe even though you only knew them a short while, it seemed like you had known them your whole life, as if there were a timeless connection between you and them? You know that feeling of incredible bonding, when all the barriers just drop away and melt and you just feel so totally comfortable and at ease with them. And it’s like maybe you were even able to imagine a time, say 6 months from now, still being incredibly connected to this person and looking back on today as having been the start of it? I just think that’s the neatest thing when a person can go inside and instantly recognize all those qualities and someone….. Me, it usually takes a bit longer.

Have you ever found yourself growing attracted to someone who initially wasn’t even your type? Like I have this friend who wasn’t the most attractive girl I’ve ever met, but then as I started hanging out with her, I started to notice things you really like. You know, like I noticed she had a really great sense of humor. You ever meet someone who just makes you laugh so much that you're waiting for the next thing they say...It's almost like you can feel the smile on their face.

And then the other thing I really started to like about her is I realized she had the best attitude. Her attitude was, “Hey, I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. I’m not sure how well you can imagine how much fun it’ll be to hang out with me but if you don’t want me, hey, get out of my way, because I'm the best thing around," but she did it in a really sweet way. I mean can you imagine how great it would be to be around someone like that?

And then the other thing I really liked about her is that she’s really interesting and fun to listen to. You know, what happened is one day I just found myself looking through a new set of eyes. You ever look at someone through a new set of eyes? It’s like suddenly you just notice some feature that you find really attractive. Now, in her case, I looked and I thought, “Oh my God, when I look at her like that, she’s got beautiful eyes.”

Look, I think when you go inside and you find all the values that are the most important to you in a relationship and you start to link those up and discover them in the person you’re considering, in such a way that you become utterly fascinated, totally absorbed and want to give yourself over to this connection that’s taking place. Now the interesting thing is, sometimes that takes months…but I wonder what would it be like for a person if that entire process were to take place instantaneously in your mined and heart. It would be like you could just immediately look at them and really feel that growing conection.

You ever wonder why you fall in love at first site? What's it like when you just do that? Now,with me, I think what happens is that a lot of things go deep inside you and you’re not even aware that you can't help yourself. Now, it’s kind of like a switch goes on in your head and it just happens. With me, I think that’s just how it happens. Kind of like a light turns on in your body and just glows, you know? There’s all of that power being generated by some mysterious, machinery far, far away- just wanting to be let go and unleashed. Now, what’s happening is that electricity, all of that power, shoots through all of your circuitry and sits there wanting desperately to be released wherever you create an opening for it. Now, all it takes is some little thing, like the sound of this man’s voice, or even a small gaze into his eyes as you begin to surrender to it, and let it happen. Now all it takes is just a little switch to GET TURNED ON, glowing with the warmth of that connection.


Have you ever thought about the difference between ordinary women and bisexual women? I have noticed that a lot of women are bi, and I am very used to that, and I prefer them.
And if you are not turned on by the thought of the love between two women and a man it’s not about you, it’s really about me, because the fact is, when you think about the things that attract you to me, in the first place, those things are still true:

I AM outside the box.
I AM the rogue
I AM the adventurer
I AM a very BAD boy

It’s really about energy. In society there are activities that are socially extreme. On the one hand there are people who are marching for their rights, or on the other side, there is the religious right, whereyou have to go to hell for liking what you like.

This is true in the United States, but not in other parts of the world, especially in Asia. In Asia, that’s where Tantra and other sexual arts were born., and in Asia there’s the concept of Safyism which is the sexual nurturing between women. And in Safyism a woman’s first lover is another woman. She teaches her all about her body. She teaches her how much pleasure she can enjoy. How to enjoy it.

And teaches the beauty of her physical body, but also in many of the delicate skills of inter relating with other women. And it’s very much a nurturing process. And once she has blossomed then she’s prepared to join with a male. And in the east, women being the other, this is looked on as very normal. There is nothing unusual about this at all.

You even see this exact same thing happens here, in our culture, even though it is repressed. You just see this sexual nurturing, this natural sexual nurturing …Because women are Yin energy and men are Yang energy. And yin energy is very loving and nurturing energy, where yang energy is power energy, it’s a strength energy.

Well two yang’s conflict, that’s why the male’s being together is unusual, and even in gay males, you always see one very masculine and one very feminine one, or two very feminine ones.

Now this yin energy, because of this nurturing it comes out even in a society that is sexually oppressed, like the one we’re in. The way it comes out is different though.

You always see women going to the bathroom together, holding hands, putting on each others makeup, playing with each other’s hair. It’s even done the most important moment of a woman’s life, when she gets married. She has her bride’s maids attending to her. Nurturing her.

It is absolutely embedded, it is a fundamental part of being a woman, it is the sexual nurturing among women. And just because a part of that has been criticized and has been pushed away socially by this extremist attitude that we have here, not allowing the woman to fully develop who she truly is inside, and allowing her to fully explore the energies and give and receive the love that she deserves, and that is needed for her to share with another woman.

It’s really interesting because when I first started being friends with bisexual women, admittedly, I started dating them because I liked threesomes, and I still do, but as I got to know these girls and really discover what they were really about on the inside, I found that they have qualities and characteristics that you don’t find in ordinary girls.

I know something wonderful about women. Girl's really understand energy. A girl friend knows how to move you with energy doesn’t she? Girl's usually have a very vivid imagination. Sometimes they wonder what it would be like if they could imagine that your girl friend is putting her hands inside my hands, so all her energy begins to flow through my hands, Now as my hands begin to touch you, what are the colors of energy you are beginning to see. Now as it flows here,…there,…all the way there, into that special place, how does it feel?

You know what I find so interesting? I think it’s interesting how society tries to label us as gay or straight, or lesbian or whatever. But really we’re none of those things. With developed people like who understand energy, we can see ourselves as beings of pure light, beings of pure erotic potential, beings of pure energy, and it’s like we rise above and transcend all the labels and chains of society and instead we meet together in this place of pure energetic sharing. And this is a realization that bisexual women have above all others.

Bisexual women have a sense of freedom, and openness, an adventurism. A sense of comfort with, not only their own sexuality but, all things sexual. Because they REALIZE, they KNOW, on a very deep level, that in this form we’re sexual beings, but they also have another realization they know that deep down our true essence is a being of light.
And sometimes when this is really special, you can almost imagine a chord of light going from you to this person with whom you’re feeling this awesome connection right there. And it’s kind of interesting because on the one hand you feel absolutely safe, you feel totally comfortable, as if you had already known this person forever. And sometimes It’s like that voice on the inside just says, “God I just have to get to know this person” I think when you make that kind of connection, now to me, as I see it a big part of it is that element of fascination.

Perhaps you’re a lot like my friend. She was telling me that when she begins to listen carefully and really look, and hang on every word, it’s like the rest of the environment disappears and the entire world becomes the deep rich warmth of this voice just wraping itself around her and the other person, where all they feel, all you experience is the power and the warmth of that connection.

And you see, as far as I am concerned, I find when I focus in on those feelings, and feel it building, and you just create and opening for all of this, the really intresting thing is how sometimes I can just stop, and imagine a time in the future, say years from now, still feeling that wonderful connection, and looking back on this moment as having been the start of it.

I seek women where when you really feel that sense of incredible connection with a person, you know that kind of wonderful click right there, that just makes you feel totally drawn to this person. And it’s kind of funny because on the one hand you feel absolutely safe, you feel totally comfortable, as if you had already known this person forever. As if you were meant to know that person. And sometimes it’s like that voice on the inside just says, “God I just have to get to know him.”

I think when you make that kind of connection, now to me, as I see it a big part of it is that element of facscination. One girl was telling me that when she begins to listen carefully and really look, and hang on every word, it’s like the rest of the environment disappears and the entire world becomes the deep rich warmth of this voice just wrapping itself around her and the other person, where all you feel, all you experience is the power and the warmth of that connection.

And you see, as far as I am concerned, I find when I focus in on those feelings, and feel it building, and you just create and opening for this all of this, the really interesting thing is how sometimes I can just STOP… and IMAGINE…a time in the future, say years from Now still feeling that wonderful connection, and looking back on this moment as having been the start or it.

You see the thing that I find so interesting, is how things happen in the mind, and how everything that happens, happens in a certain pattern, in a certain sequence, and when you understand those patterns you just can experience so much more pleasure and you know, avoid a lot of suffering, a lot of pain.
For example, you ever think about the difference between attraction and love? You see I actually think they take place in different settings. I think attraction is what you experience when you’re in that person’s presence, and you know maybe you begin to feel that wonderful click right there in that special place that we were discussing earlier. And I don’t know, I think that sometimes also there’s that element of fascination where when you listen carefully and really look, and hang on every word, and maybe you begin to have certain…you know, thoughts.

By the way, you’re probably not aware that when you begin to have these thoughts, how when you make the pictures bigger and brighter, how the feelings get much more intense, as you inside now. With me, I think it can work in a lot of different ways, but in any case, I think what happens is, that’s attraction but when you really fall in love with someone, I think what happens is you go home and you picture this person in your mind.

You begin to imagine being together in all sorts of ways. Maybe you know you imagine introducing them to your friends. You imagine being, well you know, very intimate and maybe what happens is you allow those pictures to run over and over again in your own mind.

That feeling right in there begins to grow more intense. I think what happens then is you begin the process of recognizing the things you really want right in this person Now, I don’t know exactly what it is you do when you go inside and you begin to link all these values, all these qualities to this person who you’re talking with, but I think as you begin to identify all of those, and let that process take place, you begin to maybe name those qualities to your self, “ Oh he’s so this, he’s so that, he’s so UHMMM!”

And maybe then, you begin to really feel that connection growing, sometimes to the point where you can just stop, and imagine a time in the future, say years from now, still feeling connected to this person, and looking back on this moment as having been the start of it. I think what happens is you begin to mention this person’s name in every conversation, “Oh so and so says this, so and so says that”, and then I think it’s like you just want to create an opening for this person.

An opening, that just allows their presence, to penetrate your consciousness, and come inside you life so deeply. It’s the kind of thing that can cause a person to come over and over to one conclusion. That what you really want is right in front of you. And you know I think with some people there’s like this doorway, this window of opportunity to experience all the passion and excitement and adventure that you’ll just treasure for the rest of your life.

Sometimes you can even imagine a time in the future remembering all the passion you experience with this person. I think with some people it’s like that voice of adventure deep inside you just whisper’s on the inside, “This is the main chance. You gotta get some. Go for it.”

The interesting thing about a new direction is this; It's not enough to just ponder it. Instead you want to reach out and take hold of it as you pull yourself to it, taste it, savor it, take it in and merge with it. Make it a part of yourself so deeply before it becomes someone else's reward for being open and receptive to it. Go for it now.

As you take just a moment to think forward on all that we can share together, the happy times, the laughter, the sensations that you thought would never be a part of your life… If you could take all those times now…and shrink them down, even more powerfully, such that you could imagine that if you had a small locket, you could take all of those feelings, you could place them inside and just snap it shut…so that they’re safe, protected.

And you could wear that locket in such a way that…Imagine the locket sinking right down, deep inside…right down next to your heart…right down into the very place where you keep your sense of self, what’s true in your life, so that as you do that, with every beat of your heart, you’re sending warmth, love and energy into these possibilities and keeping them alive…

Because in the days, the weeks, the months to come, whenever you find yourself feeling tired, if you’re feeling sad, or maybe you’re at the end of the day, you think you’re at the end of your rope….All you have to do is turn your attention deep inside, find this place, feel these sensations once again.

REMEMBER the possibilities. My words, will be with you there, deep inside.And if some day in the course of events we find ourselves in the same place, in the the same time, it may be that we choose, as men and women do, to enjoy each other, you can find all these feelings, all theses sensations, all these possibilities can spring fully formed alive again, ready to be enjoyed in all the ways that you know you need to enjoy them in the future.

Now, I’ve got to go, but my words, my thoughts, my image remains with you inside. You can picture us together. So if you were to turn your attention now, find the place inside where you can hear my voice, you can feel that way again,and all you have to do is contact me. Now, are you that special person I seek where we can connect on a very deep level, and share mutual interests and values? Is it you that I seek? Write me back and let me know. Let's make some precious memories. Life is short, too short to put off to tomorrow what you can have today, for tomorrow may not ever come, live it now.

. 

 

 


1/4/2009 8:20:09 AM
I think fantasies have a lot to do with anticipation of inner secret desires being made real. Now, what really fascinates me about all this is not just how people connect so powerfully with someone…but how people connect with their own needs and wants and desires…like… you think about the difference between compulsions and anticipation. <P>




You ever STOP and WONDER about the difference between COMPULSIONS and ANTICIPATION? <P>



I mean you ever been cleaning about the the kitchen and before you know it you just find yourself…..reaching for the refrigerator handle, your head is in the door and before you realize it your hand is on that piece of food and already in your mouth?<P>



That’s an example of a compulsion but anticipation is where your mind is already EXPECTING PLEASURE before it already ARRIVES. For example, you ever come home from a really hard days work and people have been piling stuff on you all day long and before you even step through the door, all you can think about is dropping every stitch of your clothes and getting into that steaming hot bath or shower?<P>



And before you even climb in, you can already FEEL THAT HEAT working its way through every part of your body. And it’s like every muscle just GOES ON VACATION. And you’re already able to SURRENDER COMPLETELY to the PLEASURE of that. And then there’s that actual moment of SLIDING IN when you just LET YOURSELF GO with the pleasure completely.<P>



Do you like Chocolate? What’s your favorite kind of chocolate?….Or maybe you prefer strawberries, I don’t know. You might have a little, and try to save some for later, but you think about it all day long. You can’t get it out of your mind. <P>



You know that moment when you have that incredible piece of pleasure right in front of you? And before you actually wrap you lips around it, it is almost like you can already IMAGINE yourself TASTING the smooth creamy TEXTURE against your tongue, and you’re wanting to have it in your mouth. And then there comes that moment where the first molecule of DELICIOUS chocolate first touches the first taste bud, it’s like your tongue just wants to wrap itself around that SWEET THING, and just KEEP IT THERE, it’s like an explosion of PLEASURE in your mouth. Magicly delicious, indeed.<P>



Now, you know when you’re really attracted to someone and there’s that MOMENT IN TIME where you just look at each other, but neither of you say anything. And that look tells you “SOMETHING GOOD IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN", and you can already ANTICIPATE THE FEELING of their lips against yours, you’re already able to FEEL THAT FIRST SOFT BRUSH OF THE LIPS, and it’s like every bit of physical pleasure you’ll ever experience throughout the entire relationship is ENFOLDED in that first soft brush of the lips, and when you do touch, you FEEL that jolt of ELECTRICITY, that just LIGHTS UP and TRAVELS ALL THROUGH YOUR BODY and YOU GO INSIDE?<P>



Now, still another example of anticipation is, where you are somewhere where you find yourself restrained. I don't know how you would like it to be, but you can imagine for yourself, maybe you are on the rack, or you are lying chest down, knees and arms resting on the side arms of a bench and it feels so good. Or maybe you are restrained by to the corners of a four poster rice bed, face up or face down. I don't know what does it for you, but you can fill in the blanks in your own imaginative mind. <P>



You are blindfolded, and you have been waiting for what seems like forever. SUDDENLY you FEEL something cold, something prickly and metallic on your skin, almost tickling, almost as if, "could it be?"..... certainly you know that you are safe, you trust this person But it FEELS like it could be gently slicing into your skin as the the metal object rolls up and down your skin on your subdued body and goes over places you that make you feel that "butterfly feeling" hot and wet inside... You can feel yourself beginning to imagine what else might be in store for you as you begin to feel that welcome feeling of euphoria beginning to creep into your consciousness and carry you far, far away on a cottony cloud of bliss.<P>



I think sometimes it’s like the conscious mind can go down into the unconscious and comes back up with all these FANTASIES, DESIRES.....FEELINGS and DEEP SIGNALS, deep down, INSIDE, in that SPECIAL PLACE in the secret garden of your desires, where things are good. Because you’re coming from a much deeper place inside your mind.<P>

 


12/28/2008 11:54:08 AM

Like a Firefly


And how you have loved <P>

And you have served <P>

And you have sinned <P>

But you have learned <P>

You feel a stirring deep within <P>

Slowly picking up momentum  <P>

Like the tide coming to shore <P>

Over and under in it's course <P>

This feeling emblazed inside <P>

Every nerve like a firefly <P>

Hovering above you glowing <P>

Glow, glowing, glowing divine <P>

Every nerve like a firefly <P>

Every nerve like a firefly <P>

This feeling emblazed inside <P>

Every nerve like a firefly <P>

You never want to lose what you have finally found <P>

There's a requiem, a new congregation <P>

And it's telling you go forward and walk under a brighter sky <P>

Every nerve glowing like a firefly <P>

Glowing divine <P>

Every nerve like a firefly <P>

Glow <P>




12/12/2008 12:24:56 PM
This is not an easy weekend for me.<p>



On this day, the Friday before the 12th of December in 1997, I received a call from a friend at 5: AM. Before we hung up she said, "I LOVE YOU".  I said, "I love you too Andrea. Do you want me to come up and see you?" She said no, since she had been in the hospital once before and they found nothing and released her, she was sure she would be out in a few days and she would see when she got out of the hospital.  The following Sunday which was December 12, her girl friend called me to tell me that Andrea had just passed away.<p>

 






I came into the D/s world in 1991 when I began a relationship with Andrea.  She was submissive and liked it rather spicy and kinky. I am really grateful to her for choosing me for the honor of receiving her submissive and masochistic affections. <p>





I have often thought back to that 5 AM phone call from Andrea. Those words she spoke to me and most importantly, the words I spoke to her mean so much to me, and comfort me because I know I got to tell her that I loved her before she passed over. <p>

We were fortunate to share some meaningful time together and she left a significant impact on my life. And then she was taken away suddenly. The reality that I would never talk to her on the phone, never hear her voice, never look into her eyes again hit me like a ton of bricks.<p>






She passed away at a young age of thirty-six from an misdiagnosed staph (nosocomal) infection after a minor surgery. <p>






I am grateful to her for her love and for the good times we shared. I am also grateful to her for introducing me to the world of BDSM. <p>






When I met Andrea, she had been in recovery for a few years and was dealing with some family of origin issues. She was very concerned about turning thirty and not being married. I loved her, but I knew it would have been a mistake to marry her at the time, and when she got around to giving me an ultimatum, I politely declined. <p>





She reacted by screaming at me that she never wanted to see me and never wanted to hear from me again. I let her go because it was for the best for both of us,  but it was the hardest thing to do. I loved her very much, but I knew what I had decided for was for the best. Four or five years later, she returned after having  marrying someone from her 12 Step meeting and realized it was a mistake.<p>

 
I won't go into all the details but she initiated contact and said that she had built a wall around herself from me, but that she thanked me fo for my unconditional love.<p>

She realized I had done the right thing in not giving in to her demands, and thanked me for being strong. <p>



I began to see that she had matured and I could see the possibility of living my life with her. And then she was gone.<p>

 

Here is my point. If you love someone, let them know it, because tomorrow may be to late to let them know.. Don't put a wall up to someone you love, hoping they will pull it down to find you, because they might not.





Don't let your demons that drive your dramas or your addictions be your Dominate in your life such that you never find  who and what you are looking for. No one can be your Daddy, your Dom, or your Master unless you create an opening for them to come into your life. Time is a terrible thing to waste.

 







"You better let somebody love you before it's too late."




This entry is dedicated to your Memory Andrea. May you rest in the arms of the Angels.

 


12/10/2008 5:09:17 AM
I grew up in a resort town in South Carolina, and lived a block away from a very large and well known roller-coaster in the town. I must have taken a ride on that roller coaster a few hundred times when I was growing up. <P>

Not too long ago, I was watching a show and they were interviewing a guy who makes his living designing rides...attractions…for amusement parks, and he said, “When you STOP, and Imagine your Ideal Attraction…there are actually three elements involved.”.....................<P>

He said, “First it’s got to give you that sense of EXCITEMENT. You know that first long slow vertical climb when you’re on that roller coaster? I don’t know if you can imagine this as I describe it, but you’re just leaning back there... in the vertical position….and you’re going “CLACK”….......
”CLACK”........…”CLACK”.... and the higher you go, the more you can feel the anticipation just flowing through your body. You can feel your heart beginning to pound with excitement…your breathing becomes faster and faster and faster so as you’re reaching that peak you’re feeling more and more excited, and then when you reach that peak you just are screaming as you go all the way DOWN.”.........<P>

He said, that the second element is…....and listen up subbies, I've heard some harrowing stories from some of you...... “There’s got to be an element of over all SAFETY. You have to know that this ride is so well designed that you’re not going to get hurt. And because you feel totally safe…totally at ease… you feel that much more totally free for INDULGING all these EXCITING FEELINGS.”<P>

And he said finally, “The ride has to be FASCINATING. There has to be so many different twists and turns, and as soon as you GET OFF…You want to CLIMB RIGHT BACK ON. You want to TAKE this RIDE multiple times.”<P>

And you know as I thought about it, I thought isn’t that the ideal description of an AMAZING CONNECTION between two people? Now, on the one hand, you want to feel totally safe, feel like you are in that space where you can EXPLORE anything with this person, and on the other hand you want to feel all these exciting feelings as you DISCOVER more and more, really wanting to CONNECT with this person, really wanting to come together with this person. <P>

11/3/2008 3:55:57 AM

 Once upon a time there was a caterpillar who loved to play, let’s pretend. And when she let her deeper feelings run free, she could imagine the most beautiful scenery. She would visualize far away lands. She would hear the most amazingly beautiful music, the sound of crystal clear streams running through the mountains. She could taste the most sumptuous foods… scent the sweetest perfumes.



Now one day as she was moving through the cabbage she met a moth with glittering golden wings. “Hello” said the moth in his deep rich voice, “Why are cabbages round and green?…I know your S-E-C-R-E-T. You aren’t really a caterpillar Inside…Deep Inside, there’s a beautiful butterfly that longs to come out and play, but she’s shy. I know the magic word that will release the butterfly and set her free. Would you like to know the magic word?”



“Oh please” said the caterpillar. “I’ve always longed to be a beautiful butterfly, to feel the wind against my wings, lifting me higher and higher, closer and closer to the warmth of the sun. I long to go flying over the valleys and the hills, to see the beauty of the birds and the trees and every living thing. Please release me! Set me free. Tell me the magic word.”



And because the caterpillar was able to find that place of true wishes, feel that place of the heart’s deepest desires…the moth unfolded his glittering golden wings to their full width, gently encircled the caterpillar, pulled her close and softly whispered the magic word in her ear.



Now, instantly the butterfly danced through the beautiful blue sky. She sailed over the hills and the valleys and was filled with the joy of every living thing. As the wind lifted her wings higher and higher, she thought her heart would burst with the joy of feeling the warmth of the sun. She glided over a puddle and looking down, saw her reflection, seeing herself for the first time, as she truly was, beautiful and free.



She wanted to dismiss the moth’s magic as a joke, but inside…deep inside…she knew it was true. She no longer needed to pretend…for everything she had pretended had become real…She was already beginning to blossom… She is already beginning to TRANSFORM. Now, would you like to hear the magic word?



BELIEVE…Believe is the magic word…Now, the wonderful thing about stories and the imageries and the feelings they evoke, is how stories allow us to step beyond what we thought we were ready for, what we thought we wanted, into the place, that special place where anything can be possible, where anything can be true. Anything can be explored, discovered…. I feel that when I step into that place and let the imagery and power totally take hold and sweep you away, what a difference in the things you want to do, the things you find yourself hungry for, deserving, wanting now.



Now, I don't know if you can remember being a little girl all snuggled up warm in bed. Maybe you had your favorite blanket, your favorite toy, and you're all curled around it, and you were so relaxed. You didn't even know if your back was pushing down on the mattress or if the mattress is pushing up against your back. You begin to drift into that soft, warm cotton cloud of sleep that only a child an experience it. Now, you begin to dream of that ideal man. The man you dream of, to grow and give yourself to. And in that moment even as a child, those feelings of love flowing through your heart...And maybe through all the disappointments, all the cynicism, all the let downs, all the jerks, all the fool's and loser's of the adult world...Still...SOMEWHERE inside that little girl is there carrying all the love in her heart...waiting for the moment to recognize...at last, at last..."I can open my heart."

 

Two eyes across a crowded room

A spark… electric interlude

A fleeting glimpse…one whom could feel free

For one long beat… to contact hell

A time in which you are in spell

A time in which two souls could meld

If only this could be

There comes a smile to match those eyes

A gentle touch invites your sighs

A touch as soft as buttered buns

That touches you tenderly...deeply...
You feel the sting

A voice that flows like Liquid Gold

And warms your senses in it’s fold
And gives you in your heart to hold

The hope that this could be

You feel the beating of your heart

And then your breathing

And then you START to notice thought

And pictures start

That only you can see

All sights and sounds just fade away

For you a single voice holds sway

A single voice as clear as day

Is all your world can be

As but a child those feelings grew

Inside as even then you knew

You’d one day meet with someone with whom

You’d love so tenderly

A thousand years may come and pass

You feel these feelings to the last

 


10/23/2008 7:57:09 PM
This is addressed to those who like to stay in the cyber world or on the phone instead of the real world. If you contact me, wanting me to read your profile and blogs, and go to the phone, then get huffy because I want to get to know you first, instead of giving you phone Dom, and or phone sex, you will be sadly disappointed. I'm not here for your transient mood to be appeased, you are here for me, and I will want to know you a bit before I might be willing to give you some phone candy. BTW, I prefer skin on skin. Take me by the hand, follow me step by step, and I will take you into a place that you’ve never ever been before, and I’ll show you things that you never even knew you could experience. Now, but if you tug back on me, I won’t pull you along, I’ll let you go, just like I did tonight.

Vertical Line

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mizmaybe
 
 Age: 21
 Athens, Greece