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Can a female be ALPHA?
The Self-Dominated ALPHA female:
Kinglizard © 1998
This one is special... In a tribal culture she would assume the role of Dominant female but she instinctively recognizes the potential peril of revealing her Dominant nature to those around her at an early age. Often she is raised in a household where she finds no dominant to bond with. Parents, and siblings offer little comfort as she intuitively knows she is dominant, even if she cannot put it into words and others instinctively submit to her. She is nearly always bright, articulate, charming, strong and willful as a child but her submissive personality also emerges while she is young. Many become almost reclusive, spending many hours watching television or movies to learn to hide herself well and to mimic normal behavior.
For the same reasons, she will usually be intellectual and well read as an adult and she's often a loner or finds it difficult to attach to others. The self-dominated submissive instinctively knows that her survival requires her to blend in and become invisible, yet her friends and peers can often intuitively recognize her dominance. The effort to hide her true personality is clearly a form of Emotional self-training and allows her to manage her life without attracting the attention of others. As she matures, she cannot easily find a male to trust, yet she longs for the "One" who can take the yoke of responsibility from her neck. She finds it difficult to bond with subordinate males, but in the West, an Alpha Female frequently marries and attempts to act out her submissive needs with a weaker Mate. Unfortunately, she always knows that he isn't really the Dominant in their relationship, and so her needs remain unfulfilled.
As a child she may have instinctively created alternate persona's to help her deal with the world. A DEFENDER personality will arise, some will actually name this defender and it will be quite dominant, outspoken, and aggressive. Generally, she will have a normal persona as well, but will incorporate enough of the defender personality to maintain a barrier protecting herself. This device allows her core being, her true self, to remain safe and well hidden. Most will not even give this personality a name, almost believing that if she should name it, then others will find and expose her true self to the world.
I am not referring to a split personality or schizophrenic and this behavioral dichotomy isn't an emotional or mental disorder. The self-dominated submissive sees her life as an on going challenge, she knows all her inner personalities, and is fully aware of the secret she is hiding. However, its not unusual for Alphas of either sex to experience significant emotional trauma as children trying to fit in and suffer from attachment disorders as they mature into adults.
The self-dominated submissive female becomes very stressed when in the presence of an genetically Dominant Male... She feels compelled and attracted on a primal or instinctive, subliminal, level. This can sometimes result in aberrant or even violent behavior.
A friend recounted this childhood experience: During a school yard squabble, the young girl, who is a self-dominated submissive, literally threw herself, physically, between two fighting boys. Her reaction was spontaneous, as she was terrified and needed the Dominant boy to stop expressing. To control the situation she expressed submission, a no threat, calming energy to try to deflect the Dominants energy and allow the boy to regain control of Himself. The interjection of her unexpected energy served to shut down the explosive scene. This behavior is very much the same as observed in wolves and bonobo apes. A dominant or high ranking female will seize control to stop a confrontation between agressive males by using submissive displays. Sometimes the submissive will go so far as to draw the wrath of the Alpha Male, and she may find herself the victim of a Dominant who is out of control. This reaction or response to a violent confrontation may seem irrational and after the event she was chastised by friends and family for her stupidity. The experience further isolated the self-dominated submissive from her friends and family as she couldn't readily explain what happened to her or why. Some similar experience to this is frequently the trigger event that helps an Alpha submissive begin to realize she is "different."
Early on, A self-dominated submissive becomes an expert manager of her emotions. She must learn to cope with sudden sub-space events as her Master persona is always with her and she may actually "live" in sub-space the majority of the time. She may make jokes about speech gaps, slurring, or detachment. She may even pretend to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs, when she is not. And most importantly she will learn how to recognize and exit the presence of a true Alpha Male Dominant, without revealing her true nature, as her greatest fear is to be recognized, and properly identified. Of course, this is also her strongest yearning, to have HIM know her and take her. Sadly, this emotional turmoil can cause her great anxiety and pain and she may only be vaguely aware of what is missing, she only knows there is a desire for SOMETHING more significant and fulfilling in her relationships.
Public access to the Internet has created new problems for the self-dominated submissive as well as new opportunities. Her emotional protection and camouflage has been developed over many years through physical actions and responses. When correspondence is limited to written words the process may strip away some of her hard won, defenses. Suddenly she has the ability to be open and to freely express her inner self. The false sense of security based on the illusion of anonymity provided by the Internet allows her to throw herself happily and enthusiastically into the assumed safety of an on line experience. She isn't aware that emotions are powerful and can continue to make her vulnerable, perhaps even more so, in this subtle venue.
An Alpha female is hyper-sensitive to many things. Dominant energy, Command structures, Voice, Directed inflection, and other things are coupled to her intense need or desire to express her submission. She is susceptible in a whole new way. She is not aware that the Dominant traits of a true Alpha Male are quite easily expressed and carried through the written word. She may have learned cognitive skills and patterned her emotional reactions through extensive reading but she is now vulnerable to something that was her protection. Reading was never interactive before and what was once part of her defenses may become a gate into her soul.
Let Me reiterate that the true "Alpha Female" or "Self-dominated submissive" is at least as rare as her counterpart the "Alpha Male" but many, if not all submissives share some of her traits.
Very few women are so submissive they are subject to manipulation or access by a Dominant without their consent. Most have sufficient personal shielding to resist access and the capacity to rationally consider and make the decision to simply say, NO! An Alpha female may be so damaged by culture and lack of bonding skills that she asks for force or abuse in her desire to experience submission. She is often strong enough to endure dangerous amounts of physical abuse and emotional pressure, but remember a Dominant who uses brute force, or emotional coercion to control his counterpart is not a Master. but simply and truly an abuser or rapist.
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