Continuing from previous journal entry/fantasy.

Another 3 weeks go by and I am still in chastity. During those three week My Mistress/Girlfriend was mostly nice to me. She would occasionally edged me until I leak but not orgasm...then put back in device. It's started to get so tense, sometime I would leak with out her touching me. Her moods did swing a little, sometimes she'd be happy and amused reminiscing about how much cum I ate for her. Other times she said she still was upset and mentioned my selfish behavior, choosing to relieve myself with the fleshlight instead of her and hoping I wouldn't be so selfish next time. I promised myself, this time would be different, this time I would not fall for her tricks. I wanted her badly and when she made it my night, I would succeed.

   During these 3 weeks, she would date and sleep with her lovers as well as see her other submissives. She didn't always sleep with them and she always had a rule, that when she did get horny enough to have sex with a man, he was the only one for that day. So it made it hard for me to take advantage of her arousal, being that if she was horny she usually came home already satisfied. But On my release days, she was always came home before she went out. Which gave me my best chance. 

     So one day when I arrive home, like many others, she starts a conversation about me eating all that cum and if I enjoyed it. She knew I hated almost everything about it. From the taste to the texture to the smell. The only good part was that I had gotten to orgasm for the first time in over a month. Not wanting to upset her or loose the oppurtunity to orgasm again possibly by having sex with her, like i'd did the first time she asked I'd try and smile and say yes Mistress. Sometimes, she'd even make me say it back to her. Yes Mistress I enjoyed eating all that cum. Which would usually provoke a giggle and a 'good girl' from her. She even recorded it once and played it back over and over, giggling. While this embarassed and shamed me, it usually put her in a great mood, so it was worth the humiliation it caused me. She was so wonderful to be around when she was happy it was intoxcating to me.

    So this time the conversation didn't end there. She told me the good news that today could be the day she decided to release me again. She warned me not to be selfish and to think about how my actions affect others. She instructed me to go put on a little frilly skirt and tank top she had selected for me. It was humiliating enough i wore panties under my clothes all day for her, but now I had to wear full womans outfit at home too? At least no one else can see me.

When I come down stairs she mentions how pretty I look. And she applies bright red lipstick.  Then writes cum eater with an arrow then on my chest above the line of my shirt. Then she writes something underneath my shirt that i cannot see and giggles as I look at her embarressed and puzzled.

    She tells me she's made a date tonight and they will be here soon.  I am a little shocked because usually she does not bring her other men around. But mentions that she is saving herself to have sex with me, tonight if I am a good host tonight, So I agree to try my best. Then she starts that conversation telling me that she has her other subs and how she has and needs other men, that always makes me feel awkward but she loves to talk about. Telling me this is part of being her sub, knowing and accepting that information and details about the others. I usually try to phase out some of the more explicite details but Today she grabbed my attention though. She mentioned how it was unfair of her to be involved with all these other men and for me not to have the same opportunity. She said she wished to change that and bring a little more pleasure into my life. I was very pleased at the direction of this conversation and was straining against my device. She asked "would you like to have the occasional date and see others?" I was hesitant, but hopefull. She reassured me that it was okay, to have needs, she understood them and just wanted to make things more exciting for the both of us. So I said, "I would be interested"...She replies "Wow aren't you a little slut, well good, then it's settled".

    Later that night, The doorbell rings and she instructs me to answer...I suddenly am fully aware of how I am dressed again. When i look at her to plead, she says "answer the door, now!" My heart beating I walk to the door. I know she always informed her dates that she was in a relationship with me, I am sure she informed them also of the D/s nature of that relationship and some embarassing details. but I never had to face them and dressed like this, I could die of embarassment, what if I knew him?

I opened the door and there was a tall athletic man there, that I had never seen before, who looked at me oddly and Mentioned My he was here by invite of my Mistress, so I invited him In. Mistress was there waiting and I announced her Date had I arrived. Mistressed Smiled oddly and invited him to sit on the couch next to her and had me kneel at her feet. She the mentioned our earlier conversation about both of us not being selfish. I look on, not understanding why I'm still involved. When she floors me by saying,"Well, he's not my date he's yours. our earlier conversation about me dating other men, well, I wasn't sure you would agree, but when I asked if you wanted the same privillage you said yes. I thought you agreed, if I can date other men why cant you date other men? Stammering I said, Mistress, I misunderstood I don't want to date men. Please no.

She Acted upset, but that evil smile was on her face..."I went through all this trouble to find you a date and you don't want him. I had to promise him things, I promised him he would have sex tonight!!" SHocked, that she was implying with me, I said "I'm sorry mistress I cant. bring myself to do that, anything else please" she inquires "At least you can give your date a Blow job for his efforts?" "Please no Mistress" is all I can say, nervous this will end badly. "You little prude, I don't see what the big deal would be, You've already eaten plenty of his cum, just the other day I remember you saying you liked it." As she plays the re offing in front of him. My face turns bright red.

pretending to be disappointed, but the smile on her face suggested otherwise she said, "well if you are not interested, I will just have to do it myself. I want you to sit and watch what your missing out on." She bound my hands behind my back and frog tied my legs. I sat there realizing this may have been her plan all along, getting me to give up sex on my release day. Then actually having to watch some other man please and be pleased by her. Watching her face as she enjoys herself. Whatching her body react to him. Her constant bliss as he works to bring her to ecstacy. Her acting as she never does with me, giving up herself to please him in return, working to reward him. While I get left with the toy again. It was really humbling. She would stare in my eyes as he thrust deeper. She was totally different to me.

I sat there turned on and defeated all at the same time, watching this man please my girlfriend and in turn watching her work to please him back. Her face had a mixture of pleasure and pain when he entered her. Occasionally she would open her eyes and stare at me as she gasped for a breath. She told me this couldve been how i got my release, but that i was a selfish prude. She had me lay down on my back and straddled my face with her legs, as she got on all fours and made me watch him penetrate her, something i havent done since she first talked me into wearing this cage. Occasionally she would sink low enough that she was within an inch of my face, her pussy withing tongues reach. I resisted because plunging in and out was this mans cock, Which I was doing all I could to avoid. On one occasion he pulled back to far and it popped out when he thrust forward his cock rubbed my face. I could feel her gaze looking down on me as she laughed at the mishap. After a few more minutes that seems like forever she was playing with herself and climaxed. He pulled out again brushing my face. Then she sat on my face, dripping wet and asked if I could i liked the taste of her pussy. of course insaid yes. then she asked if i still tasted his cock and if that's why I liked it. She laughed as she rubbed herself all over my face instructing me to lick her. She then lifted herself of and She started going down on him to finish him off. she grabbed me by the neck and pulled me close to watch. Occasionally stopping and asking me if I wanted to taste him directly. Which I declined. She knew I didn't want to but loved seeing me squirm, knowing that I was powerless to stop her. She seemed to forget about me for a while and was really lost in her passion for sucking him off. She would occasionally come up for air and this time his cock would slip from her mouth, slapping my face leaving her wet saliva on the area it contacted. At first i thought it was an accident, but then the frequency and length of occurrence increased. She started pointing him straight at my face, telling me to "get ready for my treat." i made an awkward face and shifted my face away. She paused annoyed and grabbed my face, to say, "I'm working hard hear to give you some cum, that you told me you enjoyed eating. Instead of being the eager little slut I love, you are making this difficult? doesn't look like your enjoying this so much." "No mistress." "Hmmm, so tell me the truth, do you really like eating cum? Did you lie about it?" "Yes, um no mistress." I stuttered. "You either like it or not." "No I don't like it, yes, I lied to make you happy." "Do you think it makes me happy when you lie? Do you see all the trouble I've gone to to make you happy based on that lie? Do you think it was fair to your date? Or me?" "Of course not mistress, I just thought." She cut me off saying, "you don't think, I am in charge I know what makes me happy and I decide what this relationship needs and when you tell me you like something and I want you to be happy, but its a lie, how am I suppose to reward you when you deserve it?!" She paused staring at me. "I Also decide when to punish you and how, this is one of those times" She didn't take long to decide a suitable punishment. "You really don't enjoy eating other men's cum? What do you really think of it?" "No mistress, I hate it, I am envious of the men who you let orgasm. Then on top I hate the taste and knowing it was a man with the privilege of sleeping with you, just makes it worse. I want you to be happy and am not upset by multiple lovers, I just wish I could be one again." " I understand your desires, you know that i am not upset you don't like to eat cum, but that you lied to me. There are plenty of ways to change that, it's not a problem. But for right now you agree for lying to me, being selfish and not helping our guest you deserve to be punished? I will give you one chance to make it right tonight,suck his cock till he cums right now, no hesitation, no thinking just do it and all will be forgiven or i will think of another punishment. I starred at his cock, which she was still masterbating slowly, then back at her. This is what she wanted all along, to make me suck his cock. i can't. i will risk other punishment. "i'm sorry mistress i cant do it, please punish me another way. just don't make me suck his cock.", i pleaded. she was angry, "suit yourself! by the time i am done with you, you'll be wishing and begging to go back and take his cock instead." Then as she was untying me she said, "your night is over, i no longer require you tonight, yes that means you will not be released, i no longer am in the giving mood you may go. As for now i need to finish off our guest so I can start to plan how to punish you." " I need time think, but I think Maybe we'll start with one of your favorites which since acts refusing to eat our guest, I am now well aware of how you don't want to eat other men's cum, I think that's a suitable area to think about, if you cant act like a man, you will eat cum like a little sissy till you do, don't you agree?" She slipped it in there so quickly, I didn't hear "to start to plan" what was going on right now? Did she already dismiss me? I sat there frozen not knowing what she expected of me. She held my face again, for a second, looking up at hers. She let go. Defeated again, i let the blood flow back into my legs and gather myself to stand up while saying, "yes mistress." That I had been so fixated on her hurt and angry look, I hadn't noticed she had returned to her task and had been furiously working her man and as I was finishing talking he erupted onto my face and in my mouth. As she pulled him closer to my face, making sure not a drop missed her target. Several thick spurts. I was stunned.. She snapped me out of it telling me "wow, you are eager for forgiveness, but if that's true, not a drop should hit the floor no one likes a messy slut or you'll have to reasons for your punishment" and she scooped it off my face with her fingers and into my mouth. I was so confused and desperate to appease her anger I closed my eyes and eagerly sucked her fingers clean. she was running each one over my out reached tongue. telling me, "good my little bitch keep that tongue out, you deserve every last drop, right?" "yes mistress, anything to make this right." "that's a very good answer" she replied and then she ran his dripping penis over my tongue I licked the it clean before I realized what it was. I jumped back and looked up at his cock then her. She sat there smirking and said, "yes, that happened, your lucky i didn't make you suck it, besides you deserved it, every last drop right?" I knew better then to any further and shrunk back down. She giggled and joked "now that's a good sissy girl, I'm glad your taking initiative and showing me your an eager to make up for tonight. Are you sure you don't like it? I couldn't tell. Hmm, it may be tough to figure out how to start your punishment, I need a some time to plan your punishment. I will start tomorrow. Don't think your performance will make it any easier, you had your chance to suck his cock and be done with it. To late. Well maybe it helps a little, you really did seem to like it, doing that all on your own after I let you go. Maybe you just need time to admit you love to eat cum. I will sleep on it.." She then goes to clean up, says goodnight to her man as be leaves and goes to bed. Leaving me unreleased with the taste of her lover in my mouth. I didn't dare complain. I sat there wonder, what she meant by start my punishment? Hadn't it started tonight? She made me eat his cum right? Did i just take his cum for no reason? Wondering what she had planned I barely slept at all.

Continuing from previous journal entry/fantasy.

Another 3 weeks go by and I am still in chastity. During those two week My Mistress/Girlfriend was mostly nice to me. She would occasionally edged me until I leak but not orgasm...then put back in device. It's started to get so tense, sometime I would leak with out her touching me. Her moods did swing a little, sometimes she'd be happy and amused reminiscing about how much cum I ate for her. Other times she said she still was upset and mentioned my selfish behavior, choosing to relieve myself with the fleshlight instead of her and hoping I wouldn't be so selfish next time. I promised myself, this time would be different, this time I would not fall for her tricks. I wanted her badly and when she made it my night, I would succeed.

   During these 3 weeks, she would date and sleep with her lovers as well as see her other submissives. She didn't always sleep with them and she always had a rule, that when she did get horny enough to have sex with a man, he was the only one for that day. So it made it hard for me to take advantage of her arousal, being that if she was horny she usually came home already satisfied. But On my release days, she was alway came home before she went out. Which gave me my best chance. 

     So one day when I arrive home, like many others, she starts a conversation about me eating all that cum and if I enjoyed it. She knew I hated almost everything about it. From the taste to the texture to the smell. The only good part was that I had gotten to orgasm for the first time in over a month. Not wanting to upset her or loose the oppurtunity to orgasm again possibly by having sex with her, like i'd did the first time she asked I'd try and smile and say yes Mistress. Sometimes, she'd even make me say it back to her. Yes Mistress I enjoyed eating all that cum. Which would usually provoke a giggle and a 'good girl' from her. She even recorded it once and played it back over and over, giggling. While this embarassed and shamed me, it usually put her in a great mood, so it was worth the humiliation it caused me. She was so wonderful to be around when she was happy it was intoxcating to me.

    So this time the conversation didn't end there. She told me the good news that today could be the day she decided to release me again. She warned me not to be selfish and to think about how my actions affect others. She instructed me to go put on a little frilly skirt and tank top she had selected for me. It was humiliating enough i wore panties under my clothes all day for her, but now I had to wear full womans outfit at home too? At least no one else can see me.

When I come down stairs she mentions how pretty I look. And she applies bright red lipstick.  Then writes cum eater with an arrow then on my chest above the line of my shirt. Then she writes something underneath my shirt that i cannot see and giggles as I look at her embarressed and puzzled.

    She tells me she's made a date tonight and they will be here soon.  I am a little shocked because usually she does not bring her other men around. But mentions that she is saving herself to have sex with me, tonight if I am a good host tonight, So I agree to try my best. Then she starts that conversation telling me that she has her other subs and how she has and needs other men, that always makes me feel awkward but she loves to talk about. Telling me this is part of being her sub, knowing and accepting that information and details about the others. I usually try to phase out some of the more explicite details but Today she grabbed my attention though. She mentioned how it was unfair of her to be involved with all these other men and for me not to have the same opportunity. She said she wished to change that and bring a little more pleasure into my life. I was very pleased at the direction of this conversation and was straining against my device. She asked "would you like to have the occasional date and see others?" I was hesitant, but hopefull. She reassured me that it was okay, to have needs, she understood them and just wanted to make things more exciting for the both of us. So I said, "I would be interested"...She replies "Wow aren't you a little slut, well good, then it's settled".

    Later that night, The doorbell rings and she instructs me to answer...I suddenly am fully aware of how I am dressed again. When i look at her to plead, she says "answer the door, now!" My heart beating I walk to the door. I know she always informed her dates that she was in a relationship with me, I am sure she informed them also of the D/s nature of that relationship and some embarassing details. but I never had to face them and dressed like this, I could die of embarassment, what if I knew him?

I opened the door and there was a tall athletic man there, that I had never seen before, who looked at me oddly and Mentioned My he was here by invite of my Mistress, so I invited him In. Mistress was there waiting and I announced her Date had I arrived. Mistressed Smiled oddly and invited him to sit on the couch next to her and had me kneel at her feet. She the mentioned our earlier conversation about both of us not being selfish. I look on, not understanding why I'm still involved. When she floors me by saying,"Well, he's not my date he's yours. our earlier conversation about me dating other men, well, I wasn't sure you would agree, but when I asked if you wanted the same privillage you said yes. I thought you agreed, if I can date other men why cant you date other men? Stammering I said, Mistress, I misunderstood I don't want to date men. Please no.

She Acted upset, but that evil smile was on her face..."I went through all this trouble to find you a date and you don't want him. I had to promise him things, I promised him he would have sex tonight!!" SHocked, that she was implying with me, I said "I'm sorry mistress I cant. bring myself to do that, anything else please" she inquires "At least you can give your date a Blow job for his efforts?" "Please no Mistress" is all I can say, nervous this will end badly. "You little prude, I don't see what the big deal would be, You've already eaten plenty of his cum, just the other day I remember you saying you liked it." As she plays the re offing in front of him. My face turns bright red.

pretending to be disappointed, but the smile on her face suggested otherwise she said, "well if you are not interested, I will have to fullfill the promise myself. I want you to sit and watch what your missing out on." I sat there realizing this may have been her plan all along, getting me to give up sex on my release day. Then actually having to watch some other man please and be pleased by her. Watching her face as she enjoys herself. Whatching her body react to him. Her constant bliss as he works to bring her to ecstacy. Her acting as she never does with me, giving up herself to please him in return, working to reward him. While I get left with the toy again. It was really humbling. She would stare in my eyes as he thrust deeper. She was totally different to me.

I sat there turned on and defeated all at the same time, watching this man please my girlfriend and in turn watching her work to please him back. Her face had a mixture of pleasure and pain when he entered her. Occasionally she would open her eyes and stare at me as she gasped for a breath. She told me this couldve been how i got my release, but that i was a selfish prude. She had me lay down on my back and straddled my face with her legs, as she got on all fours and made me watch him penetrate her, something i havent done since she first talked me into wearing this cage. Occasionally she would sink low enough that she was within an inch of my face, her pussy withing tongues reach. I resisted because plunging in and out was this mans cock. Which I was doing all I could to avoid. On one occasion he pulled back to far and it popped out when he thrust forward his cock rubbed my face. I could feel her gaze looking down on me as she laughed at the mishap. After a few more minutes that seems like forever she was playing with herself and climaxed. He pulled out again brushing my face. Then she sat on my face, dripping wet and asked if I could i liked the taste of her pussy. of course insaid yes. then she asked if i still tasted his cock and if that's why I liked it. She laughed as she rubbed herself all over my face instructing me to lick her. She then lifted herself of and She started going down on him to finish him off. she grabbed me by the neck and pulled me close to watch. Occasionally stopping and asking me if I wanted to taste him directly. Which I declined. She knew I didn't want to but loved seeing me squirm, knowing that I was powerless to stop her. She seemed to forget about me for a while and was really lost in her passion for sucking him off. She would occasionally come up for air and this time his cock would slip from her mouth, slapping my face leaving her wet saliva on the area it contacted. At first i thought it was an accident, but then the frequency and length of occurrence increased

Not finished

New fantasy,

I have been fantasizing about being held in a chastity device for 2 or more weeks by a girlfriend/mistress...being teased and promised I can fuck her pussy,(sorry for crude language), then being a good boy and doing whatever mistress wants for those two weeks or more. Waiting,begging and pleading for that day to come.

Then when the date comes, Mistress shows me the fleshlight, which she has fastend to something waist high, like a table, using rope or tape or something to keep it from moving. Then being told,"there's my Fleshlight 'pussy' as promised, you have 5 minutes till the cage goes back on, fuck away" Then pathetically trying to fuck the flesh light till I orgasm while she watches and laughs. Maybe Canning or paddling my ass when she thinks I am close, to keep me from orgasming.
After failure to orgasm locked up for another 2 plus weeks.
 

After a while, I become almost impossible to last when i get the chance. I fuck away and It takes less then a minute.  I finally orgasm and I'm relieved. She laughs at my joy, tells me to clean myself and the Chastity device is Immediately put back on. Then my happiness is fleeting, She tells me to clean every last drop out of the fleshlite with my tongue, if I want to get out again. As I attend the flesh light, She jokes about her other slave not doing a good enough job, there may be some extra sperm in there from her play date before this one. All I taste is cum, I can't tell if it's just mine and she's fucking with me or I'm really eating someone elses cum for her. This makes the task that much harder to swallow, so to speak. 

Knowing I hate the taste of cum and seeing my occasional gag, she asked If I'd liked eating cum from her "pussy" referring to the Fleshlight. She looks at me and I can't hide the humiliated and disgusted look on my face,  She probes further saying, "awe my poor cum eating loser, would you like it better if you could taste me, Hmm? If it was My real pussy that you're eating cum from?" Obviously I answer "yes, very much!"...she smiles very evily, tells me to "be a good girl and finish up".  I let the gender mix up slide as I just wanted this over with. She waits until I am done. She then mentions being so turned on by watching me fuck her toy pussy and eat my cum, that she wants to get fucked for real, to bad I am limp and in chastity...Time to visit one of her studs. Then maybe she will let eat the cum from her after all. She Goes out.

I dont know where she went or with who. But she wakes me when she returns,
and she asks,"do you still want to eat cum from my pussy?"
I hesitate, knowing that if she means right now the cum isnt mine.

Not giving me anytime to think it through She Threatens,"you don't have to, but don't expect to go near me again if your not willing to. So I will ask one more time, then forget it, Do you still want to eat cum from my pussy? and answer me in a full sentence, I want to here you say it."
I swallow my pride and and happily take the silver lining of at least getting to really taste her and reply by saying," yes Mistress, I want to eat the cum from your real pussy, please"
Satisfied she flashes that evil smile again...she lies down and exposes herself to me, she tells me "good boy, slowly work my way up from her feet, with my eyes closed."
I oblige, but as I approach her thighs, i can smell condoms and slow down dramatically, I must be close. Then the thought hits me, if she used condoms there should be no cum inside, I push forward. She senses my revelation and tells me to open my eyes...as I gaze at her, all exposed, my face an inche away from tasting her, she looks clean and no creampie visible...I smile, Finally My reward.
When i try and advance, her hand is on my head holding me back, in her other hand she produces 2 condoms with semen filling the tips. That evil smile flashes again.
She Says,"Not down there, this is the cum from my pussy, I saw how happy and eager you were earlier and decided to save it for you. You are to eat every drop from inside them and if you want to taste me, you may lick the outsides. Now be a good girl and open your mouth"
I stammer as I try to protest, 'I'm a boy...I mean man and that's not what I meant when i said I wanted to eat cum from your pussy! I meant my cum!" Her temper  flashes across her face, But spoke steadily and firm, not raising her voice "First, I'll call you whatever I want, and you are certainly no man, real men fuck real pussies, not toys. You didn't have to humiliate yourself with a toy, but you choose to fuck it each time instead of showing any self control and waiting for my real pussy. Which i would have let you fuck like a man,but you choose the toy and When my Stud fucks me, he gets to leaves the cum there. They don't eat it themself like a Little sissy girl.  Now you listen to yourself demanding to eat cum and tell me, which category you fit in, little girl or man? Remember this is what you wanted earlier, to eat the cum from my pussy, like a little sissy girl, This cum clearly came from my pussy. A real man put it there and I'm no little girl, I am your Mistress and I was thoughtful and saved it for you and If you want to get out of chastity again in 2 weeks, maybe you'll play your cards different and you wouldn't be upsetting me! So for now, you'll do as your told like a good little Girl, that you chose to be tonight!"
My tail between my legs, I concede before it got worse. Defeated I apologized and open my mouth, and she emptied the contents into my mouth one condom at a time, dripping some on my chin and face in the process. She laughs and scoops it back in.
Then says, "I'm going to shower, be a good boy and have them entirely licked clean on the inside when i get back. Don't miss a drop" tossing the mostly empty condoms on my face and walks away.
I'm left mentally exhausted and do as I'm told. trying to take solace in the fact I can taste he slighly on the outside of the condom.
She comes back, inspects the empty condoms, then with a big smile, She kisses me on the cheek and says,"You see not so hard to be a good girl, I know this week didn't go as you planned, next time it will be different, you will see." I replied Thank you mistress and was allowed to cuddle next to her. But before I fell asleep, i thought I caught that evil smile again, but it was dark and We drifted off.
I dreamt of next time. When I woke, I prayed it will be just like it was in my dream, but that evil smile left me uncertain. I'll just wait and see.

I get a little into my fantasies, lol.

The other day My friend came over to play. She is a female dominant.

She made me dress as a sissy maid, see My pictures and she paddled my ass red! Also my pictures.

Next time she said she will bend me over and fuck my ass hard. Revenge for being fucked hard before.

she texts me all the time how she owes me rough one!

Last summer, I had an experience that has crept into my thoughts and fantasies. I have had no bi experiece presently, but was presented with a scenario, that has taken a hold of me subconciously. I don't expect or need anything this elaborate to take place again, but it has left me fantasizing and totally mind fucked. Here is the story with some exagerations, but not as many aas you'd think.

 A woman I know had me abstain from orgasm a week prior to my week visit with her...once I arrived, she teased me constantly keeping me excited constantly. From when i woke up till the moment we went to sleep and occasionaly as i slept. She was having me please her multipe times a day. Converstions returning frequently to sex and kink. keeping me aroused and sexually charged. When ever she was able she discretely gave me a stroke through my clothes. I was begging and putty in her hands almost immediately. But she was sly, she would say she had this rule that she doesn't fuck subs only mens she dates. But she wasn't sure about me. I was attractive, we had good chemistry and she said she had to figure out how she viewed me. Potential man or sub. She said I was different because I had qualities of both a man she would sleep with and a submissive. She was very convincing with her lust for me and I was confident, she would eventually give herself to me. I am a man right? I am aggressive and masculine sexually. I know how to please her and turn her on. Which she had me do with my mouth daily. So each day she talked to me about her considering having sex with me.  She would talk about different scenarios that would impress herand  i could earn her favor.

First day, after I had pleased her orally, she teased me with her hands (only), she kept talking about going down on me till i was close, till i begged to be finished, watching the excitment on her face, her going to town on me, then seeing her happy as i came...of course i liked that scenario. Her frequent ball squeezes often drew me back away from the egde. She made it clear tonight wasn't the night.

Next day, inbetween her teasing and my begging. she talked about how i would feel if she tied me up and made me watch her please another man orally from. her giving another man the pleasure of an orgasm, after having me be denied so long. Seeing another man making her excited as she went down on him. Seeing her enthusiasm and wishing/begging for it to be me instead. then after she was done, I'd have to please her and maybe turn her on enough to earn my own pleasures...I agreed, that sounded appealing,I suggested as long as i wasn't directly contact, no bodily fluids, i'd be okay with being in a room with another guy if i only had to watch from across the room, that I'd be fine...Then possibly get a blowjob of my own or when the guy left, getting to fuck her. No brainer... So that night as I pleased her, she was so turned on, talking about sleeping with me, she inquired if i had brought condoms so we could fuck...D'oh! I didn't have any. So seeming disappointed she teased me instead. She was into ass play and as she teased me inserted a finger. I could see her evil excitment plain on her face and then she just abruptly stopped left me wanting again. She licked and spit on my shaft, then with a different finger swiped up the precum from my tip and made me lick it, before calling it a night.

..

next day, we went shopping and we bought http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/anal-dildos/sp-rascal-anal-dildo-kit-12863.aspx

and she suggested condoms, because I was to dumb bring them in the first place. Just in case she wanted to have sex with me.I thought tonight is the night!!! I joked with her about getting some and thought, tonight I had a chance. We made a bet about sex, but she beat me in pool. SO later she teased me more and she made me ride her new smallest dildo with a strap on and give her a show, She enjoyed it and laughed at me alot. She would start to rub me quicker the faster I rode her, so she manipulated me into going faster and wilder, the quicker I bounced on her dildo, the quicker my dick would glide up and down in her hand...but she would stop to not get me excited enough to cum and slap my ass to keep me riding. During this she asked how i'd feel about making me watch her suck cock up close. So that close there might be "accidental" contact between me and him, or being underneath him, as she sat on my face and went down on him. so her spit and some cum may drip down on my chest. She kept Telling me how turned on it would make her, to ride someones face as she blew someone. Asking me if I'd be comortable with this to? hinting it would lead to good things for me after...I was a little uncomfortable...I didn't want a mans cum on me that's disgusting. But she was so sexual, open, she wanted me so badly, she was just testing me. I was so horny, questioned adamantly it's not intentional contact and I am not required to do anything else? she rationalized that it wasn't me doing anything directly with him, all contact was accidental, so whats the big deal. So I said reluctantly agreed i'd be open to it something like that....Later when i was to tired to continue riding, my legs shaking from the effort, teasing and penetration, she decided that was enough play for the night and again left me wanting release and now feeling a little used and silly from my performance ride. I though for sure i was going to use the condoms to fuck something beside a dildo that night. But she left me with my aching balls and remarked that I was to confident I was getting laid tonight, she couldn't resist fucking with my head and making me wait a little longer.

next day,She had me on my back as she teased me with her hands and now her mouth for the first time experiencing her enthusiastically taking me all the way down, for short times, as I could barely hold back from cumming at this point. She occasionally switched and entered me with the medium didlo in her harness, which was the biggest I ever had. Her face lite up when i grimmaced, it was so hot. It was so big, I had to ak her for a break, she threatend once she stops, no more play tonight! I had to endure it to see if tonight was the night. Meanwhile she discussd  her new scenario included watching her get fucked by some guy, a privilaged friend/lover or maybe a casual fling she picked up. being forced to stare into her eyes and see that pain/pleasured look as she got fucked by another man. Making sure to mention her going down on him, pleasing him and having me see this up close. So close she wouldn't be able to stop herself from smacking my face with his cock occasionally as she went down on him. She added in that if she made him cum, it would probably drip down onto my body if i was under her again. Also that if she let me cum tonight, would I eat it for her? I was aching to cum. She had been feeding me, drops of precum all week, it wasn't that bad and it was my own. It started to impact me, all the effort I had given to pleasing her all week. Literally kissing her ass and orally pleasing her morning, noon and night at her whim. Going out to to eat, exploring the town together, trying to charm my way into her pants, being patient and wanting to please her anyway I could, even cooking dinner for her one night. That now she was suggesting she'd casually fuck some man, to enthusiastically work to please him and bring him to orgasm, but I was here for a week and she hadn't given me one. That this man, would just walk in and she would work to please him and give him any privilage he wanted. On top of that, she wanted me to let her put some man cock in my face? Not only was my cock, going unpleased, she wanted to litterally rub this mans privilaged cock in my face!!!  It was insulting considering the true effort i had been putting in to get laid. I wasnt sure she'd actually fuck a stranger, but her suggestion was still humiliating and she had mentioned she may have some casual sexual relationships. Womans needs sort of thing. I didn't know what was the truth of it, would she do that after making me jump through hoops? As I came to terms with it and realized as she teased me, I had needs of my own and wanted them satisfied, I agreed that I would be okay with it. especially if it would lead to my own pleaseure. That i would do it for her to have her.  Eventually I couldn't take the pounding and she called it a night, but not before she made me taste more precum and still no orgasm. My ass way slightly sore and my ego bruised I was half relieved and disapointed and all confused. And she started talking about letting me fuck her and how she wanted me. But i was to cocky expecting it. She also reminded me she doesn't fuck subs...but she wasn't sure about me still. At this point I considered she was just fucking with me, building me up, making me earn sex with her. I respected it and still believed she intended to make my last night special.

The Next day, My last night, she spent some time on the computer checking emails she said. We were going out to a nice dinner, her treat for being a good guest all week. She made me wear a black thong panty out that night. Constantly teasing me about it and rubbing my aching cock whenever she could. Teasing me that the dress she was wearing had easy access, maybe the bathroom we'd seal the deal. When we returned home later, she starts her now familiar teasing routine, where I orally please her and she bringings me so close, making me beg and talk about how i felt about her scenarios. But this time she restrained me to the bed and blind folded. She had me I admitting, that I found them deeply humiliating and they would push me past my hard limits. But i started to find the scenarios hot. Wanting to see her please my cock so bad My hard limits softened. I almost stopped caring if it was mine or not as long as I got to see her please a cock and hopefully her lust would carry over to me. As she went over her latest twist in her scenario, adding that she would bind me kneeling on the ground, hands behind my back, but not blind folded so I could see her...that If she brought in a man and again made me watch her please him. Letting him use her mouth and body anyway he wanted. She suggested, her ultimate fantasy was having a sub eat her, while a man was fucking her and admitted this would have unavoidable contact with my face and mouth. But not really different from letting her rub and smack my face with a cock, that I had previously agreed to. "i guess, it's still mostly incidental" i said, reluctantly agreeing to her logic...But then like a trigger she says, "well, actually I would really think it's hot if I made you help me bring him to orgasm." Instead of just slapping my face with it...forcing it between my lips and into my mouth.  When I said, no way...she started telling me I wouldn't be able to stop her because I was tied, why fight it? as she coyly played with the ropes I was currently tied to the bed with. She continued to described it with excitment, wanting to see me take it all, pushing my head, grabing my hair, squeezing my balls, smacking my ass. Then helping her seem more like doing most of the work and how hot she thought it all would be. especially if i let her finishing it off by taking a facial for her. How she probably wouldn't be able to control herself with me, she be so wet, that she'd need to fuck me as she watched me suck cock...At this point I was so desperate to cum, it was my last night,it was late and it's not like i could happen tonight anyway, I contemplated it, putting my pride aside about letting her force me to suck cock...i tossed it around, it wasn't my idea, it wasn't for me, it didn't make me gay if I did it to please her and get laid right? Heck even if I wasn't into it and i told her I would agree, it was my last night, no time to arrange that. So I came to terms with it and decided I would tell her i capable and it was worth it for the chance to have her. She continued teasing me, her phone rang at some point she excitedly excused herself to answer and left me tied to the bed. She was talking, I couldn't make out anything said, but it was brief...a few minutes later i hear more talking. Then I hear a door close. My mind is racing who is she talking to? did someone come here? shortly I heard her come back into the room. She had an excited tone in her voice...and started teasing me right away. then asks me "how badly I want to cum"...So badly...She then sweetly asks me to open my mouth, I hesitate and ask "what?" like I didn't understand her. She repeats in a harsh annoyed tone, "open your mouth!" as her teasing hands squeeze my balls hard. I gasped in pain, and stammered "okay, but why? what's going on?" She laughs, and says in a coy voice, "nothing you haven't agreed to, why? what do you think is going on?" before I can answer, she slaps my ball and says "now stop embarassing yourself and open your fucking mouth! you have a promise to keep".  I tried to say, "i never made a promis, I'm not ready for this". She hits my balls again and her hands grabbing my face, she shoves her fingers in my mouth and I comply and open. She tells me to sick my tongue out and stay like that as her hands disappear from my body...I feel someone in jeans straddling my one arm, next to my face, ...who's in jeans!? she had a dress on tonight? I catch The scent of condom, and before I can protest, her hand grabs my hair, i close my mouth and feel something pushing on my lips, my balls exlode with pain and something forces into my mouth with the taste of condom...i struggle and try to cry out, before I realize it is just a dildo...Shes laughing hysterically. Calling me a cock sucker. Turns out her mom called and then she went outside to smoke a cigarette. So now I knew there was no one there, she continued forcing the dildo in and out of my mouth.Teasing me about agreeing to become a cocksucker for her and howshe was shocked I would really have done it if it was a guy instead of a dildo. When I tried to say I wouldn't and i was relieved it wasn't a real cock. She would reply, but you didnt know it wasn't real and I was lying, that i was disappointed. Saying I probably really wanted it even more then her. That she barely had to force it in. She continued degrading and humiliating me about the experience. She had me starting to question myself, my sexuality and my fantasies. She noted how excited I was each night as she talked about making me have contact with a guy. that currently I was hard as she was making me gag on her dildo several times and that her critisisism of my cock sucking, only seemed to make me want to prove her wrong. That she was only encouraging me, rooting for me, going to help me make it happen.  She suggests maybe it wasn't her idea, Saying, that I was daring her that first scenario, saying it's okay as long as there was no contact between her sub and the man She took it as a sign that thats what I truely wanted and she was just helping me come to terms with my inner cocksucker and it was way to easy to get me to agree to it and remind me I actually would have done it. She was surprised how easily...So now I am totally mind fucked. Questioning myself, how much was her idea, how much was she saying true? was it my idea? I did rationalize it each time? I did explain each time, what would be a deal breaker, then the next day she'd incorpurate it to her scenario. I didn't know what to believe.

   She mentions still having a surprise for me. Now I'm pretty sure it's not a guy and she's going to let me cum...she bends me over a couple pillows, lubes up my ass, and enters me with the biggest one...hurt at first, then only was a little uncomfortable as she slowly pouded me making me gasp each time she went deep. I only lasted a few minutes...she then unblindfolde, rolled me on my back and fingerd my ass and jerked me off, rolling me onto my shoulders before i came, so I'd shoot in my own face. I could swear i was 10 pounds lighter. The next morning she drove me to the airport and said, i was in real trouble next time I visited. At first I was relieved i got out of there with my heterosexuality. but started questioning and having dreams, that turned to fantasy, that has got me willing to try this for real...i think. I have not visited again, But the fantasy is still there. She has laid the ground work. When i talk to her, she still doesn't let me know if it was her intention or she was just helped let my own hidden fantasies come to the surface. How far she wanted to take this and if my own fantasies have surpassed hers, or are they an intended part of the suggestion as well? I ask her sometimes, because we've discussed other humiliation and forced bi fantasies that i want to share with her, that I feel she is partially if not entirely responsible for. She remains vague and playful, when Itell her them and can't believe I have them. But she does take credit for the fact that I have had these fantasies. I believe she said, "I take full responsibility for it!" 

   I get that part of dominance is control over your slave/sub/bottom. But I am not looking for someone who wants control over me just to appease their own insecurities when dealing with men. You may think you can hide this by acting self confident, bossy and extra mean but your insecurities inevitabley seep through. 

    I would like to meet a confident complete woman who is truely happy with herself, that likes to control, manipulate, humiliate and torture me because it gets her off. She takes pleasure not security in her dominion over me. Dominates from power not weakness. That is a woman I can truely admire and submitt to. The one who will steal my heart and break me just for fun.

  One that is confident enough to actually listen and consider my opinions. Once considered, then she can make her mind up anyway she chooses. Shrugging off my suggestion and chastizing me later for it or accepting a good suggestion. But making me feel like she is doing me a favor by going against her better judgement and chastizing me for it later.

   One who wants to learn know everything about me, my weaknesses, my strengths, my needs and my wants...just to have that much more insight to use against me.