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DonnaJenniffer

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This Slave is still unowned and seeking for serious and long term real time tast and relation but through cyber email and chat beside that i dont do cam and Modeling of task as i am not a fetish model I will go on my way but i will do as Mistress told,
you might of seen the best but the rest will unfold,
stumbling through each day realizing every one will be
different and never ever the same, I continues too learn from
my mistakes over and over again, without a care in the world
my soul Mistess has sold, yes i will go my own way but
i will do as Mistress told

Memories in my mind seem to fade in the distance,
Mistress will lead all aspects without any assistance,
Mistress growing with power and even more persistence,
fighting temptation and winning with resistance,
nobody knows what my future might hold,
yes i will go my own way but i will do as Mistress told!!
Allow me the strength to answer questions I can't fathom. Allow me the spirit to know needs. Allow me the kindness to choke back retorts. Allow me the serenity to serve in peace. Allow me the love to show myself. Allow me the tenderness to comfort. Allow me the light to show the way. Allow me the wisdom to be an asset to. Let me be able to show each day my love of service. Let me open myself up to completely belong to. Let my eyes show the same respect, rather i sit at side or kneel at feet. Let me accept my punishment with grace. Let me learn to please, beyond myself. Grant me the power to give myself completely. Give me the strength to please. Permit me to love myself, in loving. Allow me the peace of serving. For it is my greatest wish, my highest power to make her life complete, as She makes mine. Donna Jenniffer Slave

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3/17/2013 9:50:55 AM



Blowjob Training in 14 lessons and some popular variations





Fellatio, giving head, cocksucking, the noble art of the blowjob - what a skill to have and how much pleasure you can give if you do it well! Though sad, it's also true that most sluts can't suck cock well. Enthusiasm helps but nothing can substitute for good training, as the girl on the right demonstrates. This article is not original, I have taken it from an email sent anonymously to me.If I could trace the orginal author I would happily give credit.

 

It describes a sequence of lessons for diffident or inexperienced sluts who need a good introduction to the art of sucking and giving pleasure. To learn about the experience from the other side of the table you can also read advice on how to eat pussy. If you read further you will find that it was written by a gay man, a group that (in my limited experience) supplies some of the most skilled cocksuckers you would ever hope to find.

 

Since putting this item on my website I've received a lot of mail from tv/ts males who have said how much they enjoyed reading it. For the submissive humiliation-loving wannabe-bimbo males, I've added a page dedicated to their interests too.

 

Lesson 1 I am not sure if it was because I grew up in a household with brothers or whether I would have had the same feelings and inclinations had I been an only child but I do know that from the time of my earliest memories I have been fascinated with penises. Let's talk about the "basic penis." I regard oral sex as the highest form of expression of love that can be exchanged between two people.

 

Hopefully this information will help you to break down any barriers which you might have that would prevent you from expressing your love in this way and from receiving a reciprocation from your male companion. First things first. LOOK at the cock. I do not mean a cursory glance not a hurried, surreptitious examination. Take enough time that you convince your companion that some kind of treat is in store for him provided he will allow you to do with him, and particularly with his cock, exactly what you want. Place him flat on his back on your bed, in a well lighted room. Take his cock in your hand and LOOK at it. He probably will not have the will power to stay soft, but then again you are worshipping his very essence. Few men can stay soft under these circumstances, when it is apparent that the person LOOKING at his cock is worshipping.

 

When you first start to touch him, his cock will become hard and be in a state where your examination will be meaningful. Wouldn't it be nice if going to the doctor for an examination was as enriching? The cock must be hard if you are to be able to note the important parts - those parts sensitive to stimulation by your lips and tongue. The first thing you will note is whether or not he is circumcised. Circumcision is not universally practiced: there are advantages and disadvantages to penises in both conditions from the standpoint of providing oral caresses that bring the highest kind of delight to your man. Next take a close look at the shaft of the penis itself. There is a bulbous part of the organ near the outer end, slightly larger in diameter than the shaft, which is often called the head. Technically this is the glans penis (comes from the Latin glans which means acorn. Look at it closely; does kind of look like an acorn doesn't it?) The outside perimeter of the glans penis is the corona. This joins the head to the shaft. This is the most sensitive spot on the penis. It is toward this ridge that you will direct most of your attention when you are giving head. Follow this ridge around to the underside of the penis. You know that I like to call it the underbelly.I am particularly fond of the underbelly! You will notice a point of juncture where the two ends of this irregular circle come together.

 

If your partner is not circumcised, this will also be the point where the foreskin is attached. This tiny area is easily the most sensitive spot on his entire body, and it is possible to bring your partner to climax simply by gently tapping the tip of your tongue directly on it. Spend time caressing the glans and those areas immediately surrounding it. Beneath the glans is the shaft of the penis. The shaft does not have many nerve endings and does not, therefore, provide a man with any high degree of stimulation when caressed either manually or with your tongue to the exclusion of the glans penis itself.

 

It always amazes me to note the number of confirmed cocksuckers who believe that sucking up and down on the shaft will get the guy off. That's not it folks! If it works it is because the back of your throat is playing tricks on his glans penis. Your throat is giving head to his head! Beneath the shaft are the testicles (balls, jewels, call them what you like, but let's not ignore their significance). The testicles are extremely sensitive to pain and are not usually considered subject to erotic stimulation to any particular degree. Not true! You can add a high degree of pleasure for him by paying the right kind of attention to the balls! Now lets go back to the shaft of the matter. The opening in the tip of the glans penis is the meatus. Here is where the cum spurts. (I could have said semen is ejaculated but I did not want to sound too professional).

 

There are other parts of a man's body which respond with alacrity to oral stimulation. Many men are particularly sensitive around the nipples. The first time I kissed my partner's nipples he shot before I had the chance to even get near his cock. While I have not been able to duplicate this in the laboratory setting (he hates to go near the lab with me) my partner still gets extremely turned on by my lingual nipple caresses. So LOOK at your partner's penis. Study it.

 

Learn its areas of special sensitivity completely and be ready to apply your knowledge to his body with your tongue and with your lips when you bend your loving head over his cock. There is nothing that you can do which more clearly shows your love for him than the worship you can provide his cock!

 

Lesson 2 The sad fact is that most people, men and women, do not have the slightest idea of how to suck cock. Most seem to think that simply by making a cunt of their mouth, closing it around a man's penis, and bobbing their heads lustily up and down until he climaxes automatically makes them expert cocksuckers. Au contraire! Consummate skill is required to suck a man's cock and provide him with the highest degree of pleasure possible. When I first started my quest I really had no one to turn to for advice and counsel. It was all hunt and suck. Hunt and suck.

 

Find that one technique that could and would set him on fire! I had to learn from my experiences and while I would not want to deny you the innate pleasure that these experiences will bring I would hate to see you lose a great companion because of your inexperience and lack of expertise. Let's assume that you have taken that opportunity to LOOK at his penis. To explore each area of the penis to find the most sensitive parts. That you have gotten beyond "Parts is parts" and recognize that some parts are more equal than others. In order for you to observe your man's reactions and get the most information possible about his responses try the following: While his erect penis points toward the ceiling, cup his balls in one hand and gently, using only your tongue, lick softly, but carefully along the entire underside of his erect organ.

 

As you suck along the underbelly you will learn those areas that give him the greatest pleasure when your tongue is touching them. Unless he is made of stone, your partner will provide you with vivid clues as to which areas are most pleasurable. As you discover these areas of enhanced pleasure concentrate on them. For most men the most sensitive area will be the point where the ring (or corona) of the head and the foreskin are attached. Or were attached prior to his circumcision.

 

By continued licking and tapping along this area with your tongue you are going to bring forth a geyser. If you are not skilled and you want to please him in a hurry I suggest that you get him off in this manner in order to become familiar at first hand with the nature and delight of his climax.

 

As he is getting ready for climax you will note changes in his penis. These signs will be the same every time he climaxes so that you can prepare for his cum properly. The head of the cock may swell somewhat larger then it is during the normal course of his erection. He may thrust his hips forward as he wants to send his body hurtling out his cock with his cum. And for most men, immediately prior to the cum, there will appear at the tiny, lovely lips at the tip of the cock a clear drop or two of fluid. When you see this or feel the opening you know that the moment of truth is at hand. Launch the torpedoes, full cum ahead! Where should you be when you are sucking his cock? Between his legs, on top of him, in a sixty nine position? Where? Because of the structure of his penis, as well as the structure of your mouth, lips, tongue, and teeth, you can provide the highest degree of sensation to yourself and your partner by kneeling between his legs and approaching his cock from the bottom rather than from the side or the top.Don't believe me? Try the various positions (I describe in later sections techniques to be used with each position). See what works best for you and your partner.

 

Lesson 3 Place his stiff cock inside your mouth but do not tighten your lips around the shaft. With your head begin a circle motion. The cock will slide to different places in your mouth as you continue the circle motion. Watch your teeth on this one. A kneeling position will suffice but it is also effective when your partner is on his back and your head is directly over his cock. The circle should be executed in both clockwise and counterclockwise motions in a slow purposeful manner. I know some guys who seem to prefer this technique above all others. I met one guy who could circle a cock for hours and I found myself having multiple orgasms while his mouth circled my cock. I didn't lose my hard-on after each cum.When the technique is performed correctly it means many hours of unadulterated pleasure.

 

Lesson 4 With your man sitting in an elevated position and you on your knees in front of him lift his hard cock to reveal his balls. With your tongue find the underside of his balls. Now, while resting his balls on your wet tongue, lick in an upward motion to the very tip of his cock. It is permissible to use your hands in this technique. It is bettor to do this technique several times in succession-like licking a lollipop or ice cream cone.

 

I grew up down south. And one thing about southern boys. We learn early how to get if off quickly when the need is there. And the lollipop lick is the one technique in this book which few men can tolerate for long periods of time without cumming.

 

Lesson 5 Right now lets discuss a technique that is probably the most common cocksucking technique in the world. Take his cock in your mouth but not deeply. We will get to deep throating later on. It's great, not over-rated, but if you want to be an expert at deep throat start with the right techniques and work your way down, so to speak.

 

Take his cock in your mouth by sliding your moistened tongue lovingly over the head until your lips close around the shaft at the point just behind the corona. Don't just open your mouth and close it around his cock. Slide it in. He will enjoy it much more. Encase the shaft of his penis with your hand. Remember the shaft is relatively insensitive to any kind of stimulation. By enclosing his penis with your hand you give him the sensation of having his penis encased. Now you have several options. Try twisting your head from side to side making sure your moist lips stay in contact with the coronal ridge. While doing this gently move your hand up and down the shaft. When he climaxes he may want to push your head further down the shaft of his penis. He wants to envelop you with his cock. As you are learning his climax you will miss the fine points if you deep throat at this time. Instead gently suck around the corona as he climaxes so that you can intensify his pleasure and increase the force of his orgasm. As you gain more experience you will be able to tell exactly when his climax is approaching and you will be ready for that delicious initial spurt.

 

Lesson 6 There is one further refinement to this basic technique which will heighten his orgasm. If you place your thumb at the very base of the penis in such a way as to block the tube through which the cum spurts, the semen cannot escape even though he is spasming and going through the reflex action of ejaculating semen. If at the same time you suck vigorously on the head of his cock you can delay his cum for several long moments. When you finally allow the cum to spurt it will last much longer and be just as intense as a result.

 

Even though you delay the cum for only a few short moments you will be surprised by the intensity of his cum. These techniques are the basis of cocksucking. Do not go beyond them until you have become an expert, not only in the techniques themselves, but also in the reading and interpreting of your partner's responses to such a point that you know exactly how he is getting off on what you are doing. When you have reached this point, you are ready for the more subtle, more advanced techniques. Don't be so slavish that you miss out on the fun of self discovery.

 

Find out what works for you and for your partner and make your cocksucking as individual as your signature. After all, you want your man to pick you out in the dark among hundred slobbering cocksuckers.

 

Lesson 7 One of the first things you encountered when you first started to suck cock was a gag reflex. Most men seem to want to force their cocks down your throat as far as they can get it. Particularly at the moment when they cum! Consider for a moment that the average length of your oral cavity is three to three and a half inches while the average Caucasian cock length is five to five and a half inches.

 

The laws of nature would seem to dictate that getting all that cock into your mouth is an impossibility. It can be done. You probably know someone who can do it and that is what you want to copy - and you're in luck, because it is possible to master the necessary technique. I don't want to be boring, but if you understand your anatomy you will begin to understand the requirements that allow you to take his hard cock into your mouth and down your throat.

 

The biggest obstacle to taking all of his cock down your throat is the fact that there is a bend of almost ninety degrees behind your tongue leading down into your throat. So the first thing to do is get the cock past that angle. In order to practice this, get in a position where you can turn your head in such a way that your mouth and throat lie almost in a straight line. The best position to accomplish this is to lie on a bed so that your head is near the edge with your body sprawled across the bed so that your head is tipped sharply back. This position will put your mouth and throat nearly in a line and will allow your partner to approach you in such a way that insertion of his cock can be made so deeply that his pubic hair presses against your lips.

 

Lesson 8 Today we will practice mastering physical reaction that must be alleviated before the art of deep penetration can fully be enjoyed. The natural tendency of the body to gag when a foreign object such as a deeply thrusting cock being forced down your throat.

 

You can overcome this tendency by completely relaxing your throat at moment the insertion is made. It is equally important that you maintain this relaxation during the entire deep throating. Let him put his cock down your throat and hold it still while you find the most comfortable way to proceed. Because of your position you will not be able to move or to offer him any greater stimulation than simply keeping your mouth tightly closed around his throbbing cock.

 

If you are able try to stimulate his underbelly with your tongue, do it! You will only be able to relax and take his cock in this way if you completely thrust your partner. Your partner is in full control. He must initiate and maintain all the motion. This is the only exercise in which you relinquish your control of the situation to your partner. He will relish this for the simple fact that for the first time he can insert his cock as deeply down your throat as he wants to.

 

Now your partner begins an in and out movement that is just like fucking. He should start slowly, especially if this is a completely new experience for the two of you. After all if he hurts you he cuts himself off from one of the great pleasures in life. His only other requirement during this exercise is to keep the motion in the same direction throughout this oral exercise as there is simply no leeway for him to vary the motion from side to side.

 

It is possible that not everyone will learn the "deep throat" technique but this inability does not make you any less a cocksucker. You must allow your throat to relax completely while your partner is thrusting his cock this deeply down your throat. To do this long enough for your partner to completely get it off is very difficult and may require practice beyond this day. It may be that you will be able to take your partner completely down your throat, but you will not be able to maintain proper relaxation of your throat to until he shoots his load.Hopefully your partner will understand that this is not a rejection of him or of what he is offering you, and it is my sincere desire that you not stop here and think that you will never master the "deep throat" technique.

 

Continue to practice this lesson. I know couples who have devoted ten months to this lesson alone. Continue to practice this technique because your practice will allow you to take his cock deeper into your throat each time and for longer periods of time. Ultimately you will succeed. If you have the desire you will get this one down pat!

 

Lesson 9 Now lets turn to another portion of your partner's anatomy which should not be ignored-the family jewels. Here are two objects which can enhance your partner's feelings more than any other. Many people do not think of the balls as primary sexual objects. Many men are extremely sensitive and just as in lesson eight there must be a certain amount of trust built up between the two of you before he will willingly let you have undisputed use of these two pearls of delight! For today's lesson begin by gently licking his balls with your tongue.

 

As your partner becomes more trusting you may begin to play with his nipples with your fingers gradually increasing or decreasing the intensity as you gauge how he is responding. You may want to gently caress his cock with your hand while you are bathing his balls with your tongue. Remember that the balls are extremely sensitive to pain and he will lose his trust in you if you do not respect any limits he places on them just as you have the right to place limits on the back of your throat until you are completely ready to receive him. It is possible once you have built up this trust to take both his balls in your mouth. He will be more receptive to this if you thoroughly wet them with your tongue prior to taking them into your mouth.

 

Unless your partner is into the new fad of complete body shaving he will have tiny hairs on his testicles. By giving the balls a complete tongue bath prior to taking them into your mouth, you will have pressed these hairs down along the surface of the sac and will not inadvertently cause pain by pulling on them. This may seem a small lesson but you will discover an entirely new world of sensations for your partner when you take the time to get to know his testicles!

 

Lesson 10 I hesitated to include this into your lesson plan but finally I decided that if you are aware of the most safe way to do this technique that my responsibility for giving you the tools to be the best cocksucker you can be will be satisfied. Analingus. Putting your tongue to his anal opening. Ass sucking.

 

For this lesson place your partner on his back with his legs in the air and his knees close to his shoulders. This spreads his buttocks apart and allows you access to his butthole. You are probably under the impression that actual penetration of the asshole itself is necessary for your partner to receive the most complete enjoyment of this technique.

 

Not so mojo! The nerve endings around the anus itself have no discrimination and you will get him off just as well and as thoroughly by licking around the area as if you stick your tongue up his butt! As with some of your other lessons this technique will not usually be enough to get him to cum, but I feel that it is important to know all aspects of your partner's body in order to give him the most complete pleasure you can.

 

You may find that after many hours of oral pleasure you need to have other areas to concentrate on in order to give him the satisfaction he deserves. Analingus is a powerful stimulant and when combined with other activities such as vigorous hand stimulation on his cock will cause a rapid and powerful cum!

 

Lesson 11 A toy that will enhance your pleasure enormously is a mini- vibrator. For this lesson you may want to start with your finger. Then as you and your partner become more accustomed to each other you may find him a little intrigued about the vibrator and what it can do for him. As you are giving head begin a slow playful search around his ass.

 

Many men are particularly sensitive in this area and it will enhance the sensations that your mouth and tongue and throat are giving his cock to feel a finger playing with his butt. As your partner relaxes and allows you access, gently insert your finger into his butt. Go slowly exploring the velvety sensations along the sides of his opening. When your finger is inside his asshole completely you will be at the area of the prostate gland. Massage of this gland by your finger will produce some of the most delightful sensations your partner has yet to experience.

 

I remember going to the doctor for a physical the first time I felt this sensation. I could hardly wait to get home and have my partner try it out on me again. While it was a bit embarrassing to cum in the doctor's office, the feelings that the doctor inadvertently produced were so strong that I wanted to experience them again and again!

 

A lubricated finger is really all that is required for this lesson. However some members of the Cocksuckers Club of America report to me that a mini-vibrator works exceptionally well for this type of stimulus. It is just the same length as the average finger and due to the vibrations that it produces the sensations against the prostate gland are even more enhanced! If your partner likes this stimulation you must then discover which method he likes best.

 

Some men prefer an in an out movement with the finger or the vibrator while others do not. I personally find this painful--too much like a stab in the dark. I prefer the finger or vibrator to be placed against the prostate gland and left there to do its most. Whichever method your partner prefers is the one you should use.

 

One other point. When your partner cums there will be a natural tendency for him to push the finger or vibrator out of his asshole. The asshole muscles are spasming and anything in the way will be forced out. But to maximize his pleasure you must not let this happen. Hold your finger or the vibrator firmly in place-- this will help to stimulate the sperm production to its maximum.

 

Many people have questioned me about a vibrator around the cock itself. Does it add to the sensation or not? It does for my partner, it does not for me. That seems to be the consensus of opinion of other people I have quizzed as well. I suggest as long as you have the vibrator handy anyway, try it around the penis. When you are licking his balls. When you are licking his asshole. If he gets off on it, then feel free to use the vibrator around his dick and balls. If he hates the sensation obviously don't try it again.

 

Lesson 12 There are times when you will want to get him off in a hurry! I always say that Southern boys learn this one first and then expand their repertory from that point. But because I want you to become an expert at all aspects of oral lovemaking I deliberately waited until now to introduce this technique. It differs from lesson four in that you are a more consummate cocksucker now. He will love it all the more if he realizes that this is not the only trick you have down your mouth! It is a very simple technique and if you understand your partner's basic cock anatomy you will grasp this one easily.

 

Place your lips around the head of your partner's cock and twirl your lips wetly and gently around the coronal ridge at the back of the head of his penis. This does not require any great cocksucking skill and it works simply because this is the area that is most sensitive on your partner's cock. It is not necessary to be a skillful cocksucker. All that is necessary is for you to find the most sensitive area around the coronal area. By sucking on this area of his cock continuously you will produce a quick powerful cum. It is not necessary to bob your head up and down on his cock to get him off. One other use of this technique is to get him hard again after he cums and you will soon find him rip roaring to go again.

 

Lesson 13 Don't be surprised if you find yourself going back to this lesson for seconds. We discussed briefly at the end of lesson 12 a technique to get him going again if he has recently cum. Today after you have gotten your man off, lets concentrate on some techniques to get him back on again. Not just to get him hard but to keep him hard. Hard enough to want to cum again!

 

After he has cum you may need other techniques to keep him hard and to keep him interested. Many men (not all but a good portion of us) are exhausted by a single cum and while it is possible to get your partner up again you have a long way to go before you get him to cum again. Cocksucking alone at this time is usually not enough to get him off. You will need to combine some of the techniques you have learned earlier with your basic cocksucking technique to stimulate the juices for a second and third go around.

 

Don't hesitate in your exploration of his body at this time. His nipples, his balls, his asshole. His armpits. His earlobes. For the second cum you are free to really get into his body and explore all those erotic areas that you missed when you were concentrating on his cock exclusively. His navel. His toes. One of the things I find most exciting about the second cum is the lack of expectation that you must get him to climax within a certain time frame. You have all the time in the world to really give his total body a complete tongue bath.You can explore his body safely and completely and really get to know the total body as well as you know his delightful dick! This is merely a sign that you are becoming a true connoisseur of cockflesh. A title I am proud to hold.

 

Lesson 14 Soixante-Neuf Sixty Nine Sixty nine is not always the perfect way to provide your partner oral satisfaction. Inadvertently one of you will "let up" your end of the cocksucking in order to experience the subtle pleasures the other partner is giving you. For this reason I have included it as the final lesson.

 

Many people think that the deep throat technique is the ultimate pleasure you can give your partner. Actually I believe that sixty-nine is the ultimate pleasure. Done correctly and unselfishly when both of you are completely in tune with each others innermost desires, the sixty nine is the ultimate. But because of the problem mentioned earlier in this lesson, most people practice it too early and it becomes an intensely satisfying experience for one partner at the expense of the other.

 

When you are completely on each other's wavelength you will discover that this is the most effective way of giving as well as receiving pleasure. The element that must be in place is simple: Both of you must be consummate cocksuckers! If you have a partner who is not in the least interested in giving head and only likes to receive it then to attempt sixty-nine is to ask for unhappiness in your relationship.

 

Techniques Here are some of the most popular variations on cocksucking.

 

THE BUTTERFLY FLUTTER The best position for this very sensuous cocksucking movement is kneeling over your partner. If he is on his back kneel between his legs. Or kneel in front of your partner while he stands. I like this position because the cock feels thicker in your mouth and throat and you have complete freedom to play with his balls while performing this maneuver. This technique was first introduced to me by a cocksucker in northern California. There was a notorious movie theater in downtown San Francisco with a darkened balcony. A cocksucker's haven. And this guy had us lined up. You knew from the moans emanating from the guy's throat who was getting his cock sucked that this guy was that one in a thousand who knew how to please a variety of fresh cockmeat. It felt so good that I studied him closely while he was sucking cock. Not only did I observe the guys who were getting the radical suck, but I got down close to the cock and observed how he was maneuvering around it. He created the basic vacuum pressure on the cock but only enough pressure to pull the cock into his mouth ever so slightly. With his lips firmly wrapped around the guy's big swollen cock head and shaft he would gently flick the tip of the cock with his tongue. With his lips open around the cock at a depth so that he could touch the tip of the cock with the tip of his tongue. With his lips around the cock shaft he would make an up and down movement with his tongue. He would flutter his tongue up and down the tip of the cock. I recommend you try it. It will drive your Butterfly Flutter partner back into your mouth at any hour you want him there. After several minutes of this continue with the basic vacuum suck.

 

THE TRAVELING FIGURE EIGHT After you have become comfortable with the basic vacuum suck and you have become accustomed to his cock deep in your mouth and throat try this action. It is guaranteed to take his breath away. With your lips firmly wrapped around the cock shaft try very slowly to reach the base of the shaft or as close to it as you are comfortable. Your nose should be buried in or at least touching the pubic hairs at the base of the cock. With your nose trace a figure eight as if the figure eight were lying on it's side. Your figure eight motion should be three to four inches long. Slowly travel up the shaft of the cock to the head, doing the figure eight motion. Keep doing this motion and let your lips firmly travel up and down the cock shaft.

 

Do this for as long as you are comfortable with it. Believe me your man is floating in orbit as his wildest dreams of the ultimate blow job are coming true. I give credit for this most erogenous technique to a member of "The Cocksuckers Club of America" who lives in Oregon. He and his partner were on vacation down in Southern California and they visited me while here. After seeing him scrape his partner off the ceiling when he did the Traveling Figure Eight, I rushed right into my bedroom and perfected it on my own partner! When you get tired of the movement slow down and return to the basic vacuum suck.

 

By this time you are becoming more and more confident with your partner. His cock feels great as it fills your mouth and throat. The cock is becoming harder and warmer as your warm moist mouth and throat create friction by going up and down that big beautiful cock. It is time to cool his tool just a little with this technique. I take full credit for this one myself! From tho time I hit puberty I was fascinated by cocks. Big ones, little ones, cut ones, uncut ones, crooked ones, straight ones. All shapes, all sizes. I wanted to feel them down my throat! Combine this very basic love of cocksucking with an inherent fear of not being able to take cock and completely satisfy the customer and you can imagine how I felt.

 

I needed a technique that would feel good in my mouth and would feel good for my partner. Here's what I came up with: Go down on the cock shaft as far as you are comfortable. All the while your lips should be firmly wrapped around the shaft. Open your mouth as wide as you can and suck in as much air as your lungs will hold. While sucking in air let your open mouth travel up to the cock head. Your up stroke motion should end at the head of his cock just as your lungs fill with air. Now with your mouth still open let the air in your lungs out slowly through your mouth as your opened mouth travels back down the cock shaft. This technique cools the cock on the up stoke and warms the cock with your hot breath on the down stroke. Do this movement as long as you like then return to the basic vacuum suck method. CONGRATULATIONS! You are doing just fine and he loves it! Keep it up as long as you are comfortable with it. For his added pleasure and to give you something to play with reach up and fondle his balls. Or go up even further and play with his nipples. This will give him something else to concentrated on so he doesn't pop his cock yet. If you feel he is about to cum stop what you are doing and let him cool off for a few minutes. After all you are having fun and you want to enjoy his cock as much as you can until you get tired of it. Then let him pop his cock! But not yet. He likes it too much and he wants it to last as long as you can keep it going.

 

THE CIRCLE Place his stiff cock inside your mouth but do not tighten your lips around the shaft. With your head begin a circle motion. The cock will slide to different places in your mouth as you continue the circle motion. Watch your teeth on this one. A kneeling position will suffice but it is also effective when your partner is on his back and your head is directly over his cock. The circle should be executed in both clockwise and counterclockwise motions in a slow purposeful manner.

 

THE LOLLIPOP LICK With your man sitting in an elevated position and you on your knees in front lift his hard cock to reveal his balls. With your tongue find the underside of his balls. Now, while resting his balls on your wet tongue, lick in an upward motion to the very tip of his cock. It is permissible to use your hands in this technique. It is better to do this technique several times in succession-like licking a lollipop or ice cream cone. The next steps Learning to suck cock well is the first important step on the road to making your man happy. To blow his mind as well as his cock, you should treat this as the introductory course - the main dish is deepthroating. To find out how to do that, just look at these deepthroating instructions. There's also an excellent guide on how to swallow semen at don't spit, swallow.


11/9/2012 9:09:53 AM

 

This is who some domme do after claiming slave they do that

 

 

switchgina2 on 11/9/12 at 7:05 PM:    

and dont talk back to me

 

switchgina2 on 11/9/12 at 6:49 PM:    

bitch shut up and fuck something

 
 
  DonnaJenniffer on 11/9/12 at 6:42 PM:    

THIS IS HOW YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR SLAVE

 
 
  DonnaJenniffer on 11/9/12 at 6:41 PM:    

hi


7/8/2012 9:55:03 AM

Lesbian sexual practices

 

 

Lesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females. The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality

, or as an adjective, to describe characteristics of an object or activity related to female same-sex desire.

Lesbian as a concept, used to differentiate women with a shared sexual orientation

, is a 20th-century construct. Throughout history, women have not had the freedom or independence to pursue homosexual relationships as men have, but neither have they met the harsh punishment in some societies as homosexual men. Instead, lesbian relationships have often been regarded as harmless and incomparable to heterosexual ones unless the participants attempted to assert privileges traditionally enjoyed by men. As a result, little in history has been documented to give an accurate description of how female homosexuality has been expressed. When early sexologists

in the late 19th century began to categorize and describe homosexual behavior, hampered by a lack of knowledge about lesbianism or women's sexuality, they distinguished lesbians as women who did not adhere to female gender roles and designated them mentally ill.

Women in homosexual relationships responded to this designation either by hiding their personal lives or accepting the label of outcast and creating a subculture and identity

that developed in Europe and the United States. Following World War II, during a period of social repression when governments actively persecuted homosexuals, women developed networks to socialize with and educate each other. Greater economic and social freedom allowed women gradually to be able to determine how they could form relationships and families. With second wave feminism

and growth of scholarship in women's history and sexuality in the 20th century, the definition of lesbian broadened, sparking a debate about sexual desire as the major component to define what a lesbian is. Women generally exhibit greater sexual fluidity than men and find it easier to become physically and emotionally intimate with the same sex than men do. Some women who engage in homosexual behavior may reject the lesbian identity entirely, refusing to identify themselves as lesbian or bisexual

. Other women may adopt a lesbian identity for political reasons. Greater understanding of women's sexuality has led to three components to identifying lesbians: sexual behavior, sexual desire, or sexual identity.

Portrayals of lesbians in the media suggest that Western society at large has been simultaneously intrigued and threatened by women who challenge feminine gender roles, and fascinated and appalled with women who are romantically involved with other women. Women who adopt a lesbian identity share experiences that form an outlook similar to an ethnic identity: as homosexuals, they are unified by the discrimination and potential rejection they face from their families, friends, and others. As women, they face concerns separate from men. Lesbians may encounter distinct physical or mental health concerns. Political conditions and social attitudes also affect the formation of lesbian relationships and families.

 

 

 

Last updated 6 days ago

 

 

A woman orally stimulating the nipples

of her sexual partner.

Lesbian sexual practices are sexual activities

involving women who have sex with women

, irrespective of their sexual orientation

. A woman who has sex with another woman may identify as a lesbian

if she is exclusively sexually attracted to women, or bisexual

if she is not exclusively sexually attracted to women, or dispense with sexual identification altogether. The term may also be applied to a heterosexual

woman who is unsure of or is exploring her sexuality. Romantic or sexual interpersonal relationships

are often subject to sexual desire

and arousal

, which then leads to sexual activity for sexual release. A physical expression of intimacy between women depends on the context of the relationship along with social, cultural and other influences.

 

Behaviors

 

 

Woman performing cunnilingus

on her sex partner

 

 

Two women engaged in tribadism in the missionary position

It is common for women to engage in displays of affection, such as kissing on the cheek or hugging. However, such acts of intimacy are generally regarded as forms of greeting and not regarded as sexual, not being intended to generate erotic sensations

or sexual excitement. A kiss on the lips or a prolonged kiss or hug may be regarded as sexual.

Performing acts of physical intimacy

, such as the touching of a partner's erogenous zones by the use of the mouth or hands, may be regarded as an indicator of the partner's desire for sexual activity. It also acts as an erotic stimuli

or turn-on, which generates erotic sensations or sexual excitement in both partners. Allowing such acts of physical intimacy, especially the stimulation of a partner's breasts and nipples, is an indication of either reciprocal interest in a sexual activity or, if unwelcome, of submission

. It is the general practice to begin sexual activity with a kiss on the lips, which is usually associated with an indication of emotional attachment

. The failure or refusal to give or accept a kiss is commonly taken as an indicator of desire to avoid an emotional attachment, and to dispel such an implication may require an explanation, such as the person having a contagious disease such as a cold.

A woman's mouth, lips and tongue are sensitive erogenous zones

which are very commonly used by both partners during the preliminary stages and throughout a sexual activity. They are used for kissing, sucking, licking besides other acts. The stimulation of a partner's breasts is very common as a form of foreplay

and throughout a sexual activity. The oral or manual stimulation of nipples

is commonly performed on women by a partner, either for itself or as part of other sexual activity. Breast and nipple stimulation of women is a near-universal aspect of sexual activity where the woman is the recipient of sexual attention. The stimulation of a woman's nipples promotes the production and release of oxytocin

and prolactin

. During the stimulation of the nipples, large amounts of oxytocin are released, which would normally prepare the breast for breastfeeding. Besides creating maternal feelings in a woman, it also decreases her anxiety

, increases human bonding and trust.[4]

[5]

Oral stimulation of the vulva

, clitoris

, vagina

or anus

is commonly practiced between women and, like oral stimulation of the nipples, can include the use of teeth in addition to use of the lips or tongue. Oral sex that involves the stimulation of the woman's vulva, clitoris or vagina is called cunnilingus

. The oral stimulation of the anus, called anilingus

, is more rarely practiced.

Tribadism

is a common non-penetrative sexual act

between women. The practice is often known by its "scissoring" position, and is also referred to as frottage

or in popular slang as dry humping. It involves a woman rubbing her vulva against her partner's vulva, thigh, stomach, buttocks, arm, or another body part, or the partner doing the rubbing. This may be achieved in a number of sex positions

, including a missionary

, a woman on top

, doggy style

, scissoring or other position. It may be accompanied by fingering

or penetration with a dildo

.

 

 

Late 19th century painting by Édouard-Henri Avril

showing the use of a strap-on dildo

Fingering involves the use of the fingers to massage a woman's vulva, clitoris, vagina or anus. Fingering may be self-fingering, one-sided, mutual, penetrative or non-penetrative. It can be performed in most positions, and massaging the vagina may stimulate a woman's G-Spot

. For deeper vaginal, anal or oral penetration, a dildo, strap-on dildo

or other sex toys

may be used.

On occasion, for variety, or on a more regular or routine basis, a partner may assume a passive role during a sexual activity and leave it to their partner to provide their sexual satisfaction. For example, a partner in a doggy stye position is passive and open to a variety of sex acts, generally at the choice of the active partner, such as fingering from behind, massage or stimulation of erogenous zones, such as the genitals, nipples, or buttocks, or receive a playful spank

to the buttocks. The active partner can also introduce a sex toy, such as a dildo or vibrator

, into the vagina or anus. To ensure passivity, a partner may also take part in bondage

. The partner may engage in other BDSM

activities, such as the use of a pecker gag

to enable sucking during sexual activity. During sexual bondage, the restrained partner generally has the role of sex object

to their partner, who can chose the type and pace of the sexual activity. The active partner is free to use the restrained partner for their own sexual satisfaction, while providing sexual satisfaction to their partner. The restrained partner is dependent on their partner to provide all the stimulation for them to achieve sexual satisfaction.

Sex educator

and feminist

Shere Hite

noted that one of her female research subjects had written, "Sex with a woman includes: touching, kissing, smiling, looking serious, embracing, talking, digital intercourse, caressing, looking, cunnilingus, undressing, remembering later, making sounds, sometimes gently biting, sometimes crying, and breathing and sighing together."

Research

In 1953, Alfred Kinsey

's Sexual Behavior in the Human Female

showed that, over the previous five years of sexual activity, 78% of women had orgasms

in 60% to 100% of sexual encounters

with other women, compared with 55% for heterosexual sex. Kinsey attributed this difference to female partners knowing more about women's sexuality and how to optimize women's sexual satisfaction than male partners do. Similarly, studies by scholars such as Masters and Johnson

and Marilyn Frye

concluded that lesbian sexual behaviors more often have qualities associated with sexual satisfaction than their heterosexual counterparts.[11]

[20]

With regard to the easiness or difficulty of achieving orgasm, Hite's research (while subject to methodological limitations) showed that most women need clitoral

or exterior stimulation for orgasm, which can be "easy and strong, given the right stimulation" and that the need for clitoral stimulation in addition to knowing one's own body is the reason that most women reach orgasm more easily by masturbation. Replicating Kinsey's findings, scholars such as Peplau, Fingerhut and Beals (2004) and Diamond (2006) found that lesbians have orgasms more often and more easily in sexual interactions than heterosexual women do, and that female partners are more likely to emphasize the emotional aspects of lovemaking.

 Other elements of lesbian sexual encounters include more full-body sexual contact, rather than genital-focused contact, less preoccupation or anxiety about achieving orgasm, more sexual assertiveness and communication about sexual needs, longer lasting sexual encounters

and greater satisfaction with the overall quality of one's sexual life.Masters and Johnson's further concluded that vaginal penetration with dildos is rare, and that lesbians tend to do more overall genital stimulation than direct clitoral stimulation, which is also often the case for heterosexual relationships.

 Preferences for specific sexual practices among female same-sex relationships have also been studied. Despite common misconception, not all women who have sex with women engage in oral sex (i.e., cunnilingus

). Some dislike it due to not liking the experience or due to psychological or social factors, such as finding it unclean.

 Others believe that it is a necessity or largely defines lesbian sexual activity, attributing lesbian women who dislike oral sex as a problem. Often, lesbian couples are likely to define a woman's dislike of oral sex as a problem more than heterosexual couples are, and commonly seek therapy to overcome an oral sex inhibition. Similarly, there are lesbians who like anal sex

and others "who cannot bear the thought of it".In 1987, a non-scientific study (Munson) was conducted of more than 100 members of a lesbian social organization in Colorado. When asked what techniques they used in their last 10 sexual encounters, 100% reported kissing, sucking on breasts, and manual stimulation of the clitoris; more than 90% reported French kissing, oral sex, and fingers inserted into the vagina; and 80% reported tribadism

. Lesbians in their 30s were twice as likely as other age groups to engage in anal stimulation (with a finger or dildo).

 

Health risks

 

A woman performing anilingus

on another woman.

 

These safer sex

recommendations
are generally agreed upon by
public health officials for
women who have sex with women
to avoid
sexually transmitted diseases

(STDs):

  • Avoid contact with a partner’s menstrual blood and with any visible genital lesions.
  • Cover sex toys that penetrate more than one person’s vagina or anus with a new condom

    for each person; consider using different toys for each person.
  • Use a barrier (e.g., latex sheet, dental dam

    , cut-open condom, plastic wrap) during oral sex.
  • Use latex or vinyl gloves and lubricant for any manual sex that might cause bleeding.[27]

Like most sexual activity, lesbian sexual activities can carry risks of sexually transmitted diseases

, such as HIV

, and other pathogenic

diseases. When lesbian sexual activity is of a non-penetrative nature, the risk of exchange of bodily fluids is generally lower than for heterosexual sexual intercourse, and the incidence of transmission of such diseases is relatively low, though not eliminated. The use of the same sex toys by more than one person increases the risk of transmitting such diseases.

The Centers for Disease Control

(CDC) reported there is little data available regarding the risk of spreading sexually transmitted diseases between women. However, the CDC notes that pathogens such as metronidazole-resistant trichomoniasis

, genotype-concordant HIV

, human papilloma virus

(HPV, which has been linked to nearly all cases of cervical cancer

) and syphilis

can be spread through sexual contact between women. While the rates of these pathologies is unknown, one study showed 30% of lesbians and bisexual women had medical histories with sexually transmitted diseases. This does not mean sexually active lesbians are exposed to higher health risks than the general population. Health Canada noted "the prcancer and non-cancer-causing) in different groups of Canadian women ranges from 20%–33%" and an American university study found 60% of sexually active females were infected with HPV at some time within a three year period.

The CDC did not recognize female-to-female transmission as a possible method of HIV infection until 1995. It is possible, though less likely, for transmission to occur in female-to-female sexual activity. Though the risk is not as high as for male-to-male and male-to-female transmission, the risk is still present. HIV can be spread through body fluids

, such as blood (including menstrual blood), vaginal fluid and breast milk. Transmission can also take place through oral sex if a woman has cuts or sores in her mouth, or poor oral hygiene, especially if her partner is menstruating. HIV can also be spread through the sharing of penetrative sex toys

if their use results in broken skin within the vagina or anus.

Cunnilingus is an oral sex

act performed on a female. It involves the use by a sex partner

of the mouth

, lips

and tongue

to stimulate the female's clitoris

, vulva

, or vagina

. A female may receive cunnilingus as part of foreplay

before sexual intercourse

, or as intercourse.

The term is derived from the Latin words for the vulva

(cunnus) and tongue (lingua).

 

Technique

 

 

Mihály Zichy

"Making Love", circa 1911

As in all human sexual behavior

, both the techniques used in cunnilingus and an individual's response to them are varied.

The clitoris

is the most sexually sensitive erogenous zone

for most women, but may be too sensitive to comfortably stimulate

at times, especially in early stages of arousal

. Author Shere Hite

notes in The Hite Report

that most women achieve orgasm

easily from clitoral stimulation as part of cunnilingus or some other form of direct clitoral stimulation. Some sex manuals

recommend beginning with a gentler, less focused stimulation of the labia

and the whole genital area. The tip, blade, or underside of the tongue may be used, as can the nose, chin, teeth and lips. Movements can be slow or fast, regular or erratic, firm or soft, according to the participants' preferences. The tongue can be inserted into the vagina

, either stiffened or moving. The performing partner may also hum to produce vibration.

Cunnilingus may be accompanied by the insertion of finger(s) or a sex toy

into the vagina, which allows for the simultaneous stimulation of the g-spot

, and/or into the anus

.

Positions

 

 

Édouard-Henri Avril

's depiction of cunnilingus in missionary position

There are several positions for cunnilingus:

  • Missionary

     – the female lies on her back, with her legs spread, pulled up to her chest, on her partner or raised.
  • Doggy style

     – the female crouches on all fours, while her partner performs oral sex from behind.
  • Standing – the female stands facing her partner, who is either sitting or on the knees. However, in this position the clitoris is more difficult to reach and stimulate, and the female may have difficulty maintaining her balance when she is reaching orgasm because her legs quiver and shake.
  • Sitting  – the female sits on a chair or uses some other support.
  • Mutual stimulation – see the 69 position

    .
  • Face-sitting

     – the female sits on or above the partner's face. In this position the female has more control over her body movements and can guide her partner or auto-stimulate against the partner's face.

Cultural, spiritual and religious significance

 

Cunnilingus portrayed at Pompeii

Taoism

Although not spoken of openly in Western society until recently, cunnilingus is accorded a revered place in Taoism

. This is because the aim of Taoism is to achieve immortality, or at least longevity, and the loss of semen, vaginal, and other bodily liquids is believed to bring about a corresponding loss of vitality. Conversely, by either semen retention or ingesting the secretions from the vagina, a male or female can conserve and increase his/her ch'i

, or original vital breath. In Taoism:

The Great Medicine of the Three Mountain Peaks is to be found in the body of the woman and is composed of three juices, or essences: one from the woman's mouth, another from her breasts, and the third, the most powerful, from the Grotto of the White Tiger, which is at the Peak of the Purple Mushroom (the mons veneris).

 

 

Édouard-Henri Avril

drawing depicting the life of Sappho

According to Philip Rawson (in Paz, p. 97), these half-poetic, half-medicinal metaphors explain the popularity of cunnilingus among people: "The practice was an excellent method of imbibing the precious feminine fluid" (Paz, p. 97). But the Taoist ideal is not just about the male being enriched by female secretions; the female also benefits from her communion with the male, a feature that has led the sinologist

, Kristofer Schipper, to denounce the ancient handbooks on the "Art of the Bedroom" as embracing a "kind of glorified male vampirism

" that is not truly Taoist at all. Ideally, by mingling the male and female liquids the Taoist aims to reconcile opposites and to recapture the mythical time that existed before the division of the sexes, the primordial time of the original ch'i.

Tantra

The religious historian Mircea Eliade

speaks of a similar desire to transcend old age and death, and achieve a state of nirvana, in the Hindu

practice of Tantric

yoga. In Tantric yoga, the same emphasis is placed on the retention and absorption of vital liquids and Sanskrit

texts describe how the male semen must not be emitted if the yogi is to avoid falling under law of time and death.

STD and other risks

Chlamydia

, human papillomavirus

(HPV), gonorrhea

, herpes

, hepatitis

(multiple strains), and other sexually transmitted infections

(STIs) — including HIV

— can be transmitted through oral sex. The documented risk of HIV transmission through cunnilingus is considered to be extremely small, and far lower than that associated with fellatio

, vaginal

or anal sex

. There have only ever been 2 documented cases of HIV transmission through cunnilingus. If the receiving partner has wounds or open sores on her genitals, or if the giving partner has wounds or open sores on or in his or her mouth, or bleeding gums, this poses an increased risk of STD transmission. Brushing the teeth, flossing, undergoing dental work, or eating crunchy foods such as potato chips relatively soon before or after performing cunnilingus can also increase the risk of disease transmission, because all of these activities can cause small scratches in the lining of the mouth. These wounds, even when they are microscopic

, increase the chances of contracting STDs

that can be transmitted orally under these conditions. Such contact can also lead to more mundane infections from common bacteria

and viruses

found in, around, and secreted from the genital regions.

In 2005, a research study at the College of Malmö

in Sweden

suggested that performing unprotected oral sex

on a person infected with HPV

might increase the risk of oral cancer

. The study found that 36% of the cancer patients

had HPV compared to only 1 percent of the healthy control group.

Another recent study in the New England Journal of Medicine

suggests a correlation

between oral sex and throat cancer

. It is believed that this is due to the transmission of human papillomavirus

(HPV) because this virus has been implicated in the majority of cervical cancers. The study concludes that people who had one to five oral sex partners in their lifetime had approximately a doubled risk of throat cancer compared with those who never engaged in this activity, and those with more than five oral-sex partners had a 250% increased risk.[13]

In addition, in rare cases, air being blown into the vagina can be harmful to the receiver, even fatal[Citation required]. Air that is very forcefully blown in and not adequately released could enter the bloodstream through capillaries in the uterine wall, causing an air embolism

. It should also be noted that probability of an air embolism developing is elevated, though still relatively low, during pregnancy (in the case of the receiver)[Citation required].


7/8/2012 9:50:21 AM

History of the female orgasm

 

 

A small bit of history of the female orgasm: Hippocrates a Greek physician born in 460 BC known as the "Father of Medicine" believed that women must always be kept sexually satisfied or she could not procreate. Aristotle born in 385 BC in Greece. He studied under Plato and became a sex educator in antiquity. Aristotle came along and disagreed with Hippocrates. This began the up and down hell for women. The middle ages church supported repressing women's sexual satisfaction. The 18th century continued by banning female pleasure. In the 1840's William Acton wrote that women had no need for sex. "The Madison Institute Newsletter”, Fall 1894 wrote manuals for brides in how they were to lie perfectly still and not move, not moan or groan while having sex. It took until post World War II for women and sexual freedom to begin moving forward and reclaiming it was okay to enjoy sex and have orgasms. 1948, 1953 and 1966 Masters and Johnson drew conclusion from Seymour Fishers "The Female Orgasm" finding that the greater a woman's feeling that love objects are easily lost or may disappear the less likely she is to attain orgasm. Freud wrote that the vagina was the only part of a woman where an orgasm could happen and the clitoris was not a source for sexual pleasure. Simone De Beauvoir wrote about sex for pure pleasure and the clitoris and its importance. It took until the 1960's before it was finally acknowledged that women could enjoy sex just as men had all along and that women required different stimulation than men to have an orgasm. Masters and Johnson say at least 25 to 30 percent of people in their 60's have intercourse at least weekly and the majority of women and nearly all men 50-80 are still having and wanting sex. Today many feel that the quality of life is sexual satisfaction and good personal sexual health. What is an orgasm for a woman? Orgasms are pretty hard to describe. Sad fact is some women never have them. 10-15% of women can't get turned on or aroused. 15-20% have never had an orgasm or only had one by masturbation. 40% do not have orgasms by intercourse. 5% say intercourse is painful. 20% of women everything works fine but they simple have no interest. The American Medical Association reports approx. 40 million women have some sort of sexual health problem. The clitoris seems to be overlooked too often. For a man to have an orgasm his penis needs to get an erection, same applies to a women clitoris. When a clitoris is aroused to its fullest it can become twice its starting size. The brain usually starts the arousal process. This can happen from seeing a partner naked, hearing the partner talk sexy, the sexual fantasy in the brain, to tasting or smelling the partner's body. Add a bit of touching playing/stimulating/foreplay with the breasts and the clitoris, this builds up tension inside, the orgasm releases the tension and brings on extreme pleasure. Also pleasurable contractions are felt through the entire body- vagina, uterus, rectum, and bladder to name a few. Yes it is possible through mental thought only to have the end result be an orgasm, one that is felt in your body. FYI-30% or less of orgasms come from intercourse. For most woman to have an orgasm with intercourse they need clitoral stimulation/foreplay BEFORE intercourse. Women's body take on physical change. Blood coming to the clitoris, vagina, breasts and the nerve endings. The muscles tightening in the body to cause the needed tension. Some women fight the tension and won't let themselves get past that tension/edge resulting in them not having an orgasm. Women can feel different types of orgasms, clitoral or vaginal. Unlike the man's penis the clitoris is there only to provide women with sexual pleasure. Back in the 1950's Kinsey reported that half the orgasms women obtain are from clitoral stimulation. It is the woman's preference which gives her the most pleasure since neither type of orgasm is better than the other. Women also have the ability to achieve multiple orgasms. There are two common types of multiple orgasms women usually have. Sequential multiples- Orgasms that come close together (1-15 minutes apart). Such as one during oral sex followed by one during intercourse. Serial multiples- Orgasms that come one after the other. (seconds apart). Masters and Johnson said there are 4 phases to the female orgasms and that there is no beginning or end to each of these. Phase 1- Excitement. Physical or psychological. Phase 2- Plateau. Increased stimulation. Phase 3- Orgasmic. Powerful contractions. Phase 4- Resolution. Things returning to "normal." What is an orgasm for a man? 70% of men will ejaculate in less than 2 minutes after penetration. 50% of men aged 40-70 will have some degree of erectile dysfunction. 1 in 3 men prematurely ejaculate. 1 in 12 has a fertility problem and 1 in 6 couples have problems conceiving and 50% of those cases are because of the man's infertility. Men's orgasms come from stimulation of the penis. Muscle tension, erection of penis and nipples, swelling of the testicles, the scrotum tightens up. Men too can have multiple orgasms, few do. Men's orgasms also have phases. Phase 1- Sexual excitement. Penis is filled with blood and erection is hard and firm. Endorphins kick in. Phase 2- Plateau. It is worth not having the quick release or rapid orgasm but rather wait for the greater one that you will get after an hour or two of arousal. There are a variety of ways men can control and prolong reaching orgasm. Phase 3- The Orgasm. Usually can't be stopped once started. Sometimes accompanied by ejaculation. Seminal fluid builds up in the prostrate, blood pressure and heart rate increases, muscles begin contracting, the testicles draw up close to the body and penis begins a series of contractions, commonly 8 at about 8/10ths of a second and semen dribbles or shoots out (depends on the muscle conditions). Important part that you must remember orgasms do NOT have to have ejaculation. Yes ejaculation orgasms and multiple orgasms do feel different. Men usually aren't aware they can have multiple orgasms because they have been conditioned not to. It is very easy for a man to not have the desire to have another one or claim it's too painful (this can be worked through) or have conditioned themselves to a period of rest between orgasms. FYI-Some men (and women) complain about condom use and decreased sensitivity. Also some men that have been circumcised have less or no sensitivity. When to seek medical advice and/or treatment. Drugs, disease, illness and medication can affect orgasms. If you have circulatory, nervous, or muscular illness or certain disease this can cause orgasm impairment. Multiple Sclerosis can effect women's ability to have an orgasms or can cause difficulty in having orgasms. Diabetes can affect the ability to achieve orgasms. Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Hyperactivity can interfere or impair the ability to have orgasms. Hormone balance can affect your ability to have orgasms. Spinal cord injuries or paraplegics CAN still have orgasms it just takes longer and requires direct stimulation. Just because they can't control the muscles doesn't mean the muscles don't work. Experimentation will be needed to find what spots on the body will transmit the sensations. So think of armpits, sides of the ribs and other body parts. Some men will still be able to get erections, others will not, but they still can achieve an orgasm. Regardless of if you are a man or a woman the goal should always be to achieve complete and satisfying orgasm(s).


6/2/2012 2:46:44 PM

I am away for two weeks as my Sister n Law get expried on Saturday 2nd Of June 2012. May her soul rest in peace


1/18/2012 5:21:07 AM

 

What Obedience Mean to me

 

In human behavior, obedience is the quality of being obedient

, which describes the act of carrying-out commands or being actuated Obedience differs from compliance

, which is behavior influenced by peers, and from conformity

, which is behavior intended to match that of the majority. Obedience can be seen as both a sin and a virtue.

For me Obedience is submitting to what Mistress requires from slave. This call of our Mistress will help motivate us to keep seeking her and cleaving to her, regardless of the circumstances, so we will be able to keep her precepts and be loyal to her call.

In the D/s world, obedience is probably the singular most important quality a submissive/slave needs.

 

A Master or Mistress must have control over a submissive in order for the power exchange to take place, but without the element of obedience there would be no control.

A submissive needs the control in order to make her life complete, but needing it and obeying every command are often two very different things.

 

In the everyday life of a submissive, obedience can make the difference between a successful D/s relationship and a difficult one. Every request from the Dominant should be obeyed…. Every task should be completed.

It can be a very hard emotional battle to always obey, and i believe i have yet to meet a submissive/slave that is 100% obedient.

 

I know in my pervious own relationship with Mistress, i do not always want to obey, i do not always believe that Her way is the right way, but, as Her submissive, i must trust Her to do the best for me, and therefore if She asks me to do something, i must do it. The most difficult thing is to obey when i don’t want to, and i do struggle with this concept at times, however, the need to please Her, and to serve Her overrides the thought of disobeying.

 

Sometimes it is the small things that can be hardest to do.

Mistress may ask for my hand across the table – in front of guests. Thoughts run through my mind of why She wants my hand, what is She intending to do, She may wish to pinch my skin, bite my finger, kiss my hand or stroke my “trigger finger” to put me into the throes of an orgasm, right then and there??

Part of my mind says “oh no i can’t do that” -  and that is the moment of truth – of obedience. Do i extend my hand to Her or do i say no.

In that instance, i would never say no – though i may be wary, i obey Her command. One reason is that i would never want to disgrace Her in that way in front of anyone else, but also the intrinsic need to obey and to please Her takes precedence.

 

If we can make obedience a vital and necessary element in the relationship, then everything flows smoothly, the Dominant is confident that the submissive will do as she/he is told, and the submissive in turn trusts that the Dominant knows best and therefore, even if it is a battle, obedience wins out.

 

There is an important part of a D/s relationship where obedience is paramount, and that is in play.

 

A submissive must obey any command given in a play situation – this is where the power exchange is at its highest level. The Dominant is in charge, it is a big responsibility to take control of someone’s wellbeing, and because of the very nature of what we do, there is some risk of being hurt if things go wrong.

Trust, then, is another element of obedience in this situation. The submissive must have complete trust in the Dominant, so that she will obey any command given – her life may depend on it.

 

A good example There is nothing more daunting than to be told to “stick out your tongue” and not know what you may get to taste. Will it be strawberry jam? Chocolate sauce, or chilli powder, onion or some other nasty tasting substance.

So do you obey or disobey? Of course you obey - what would be the point of disobeying Him, and disappointing Her, denying Her the pleasure of seeing you squirm.

 

Of course there are also some Dominants who actively encourage a submissive to misbehave, and disobey. It is the role play they have adopted and which forms the dynamic of their relationship.

It maybe a submissive behaving like a “naughty schoolgirl” with such behaviour as tongue poking, or foot stomping etc.

It may simply be a “bratty sub” out in public ending up being over a knee and soundly spanked!

In these cases then it isn’t really disobedience as such, because the submissive is obeying the whims and wants of the Dominant by being disobedient!

 

Most of the time, a submissive has been trained to


1/17/2012 11:52:09 AM

i am leave my bra and panty out


1/17/2012 3:09:56 AM

i am in a office wearing a black bra black panty and stokings and a black skirt with white shirt and a black blazzer


8/10/2010 9:16:44 AM

Magic Braid Crotchrope

 

 

This is a fun crotchrope based on a magic braid. A magic braid is a way of turning a single piece of rope into a three-strand braid. In our case, we are turning a doubled piece of rope into a six-strand braid. This is a great crotchrope if you want to tie it to an overhead support, because the braided section forms a wide bumpy area, with a long two strand tail for tying to the overhead support.

 

We start with a 30-foot length of rope. Double the rope, then measure up about eight feet from the doubled end. Coil the doubled end in a clockwise direction, so it goes under the main rope, and so the doubled end is a couple of inches below the coil.

 

Step 1

 

Take the doubled end, and bring it over the main rope, from right to left.

 

 

Step 2

 

 

Now take the leftmost rope, and cross it over the rope you were just working with, from left to right.

 

 

Step 3

 

Now take the rightmost rope and cross it over the one you were just working with, from right to left.

 

 

 

Step 4

 

What we are doing is a standard hair braid, so if you know how to braid hair, you’re all set.

 

 

 

Step 5

 

Continue braiding with the left-overright, right-over-left pattern.

 

 

 

Step 6

 

Eventually you will get close to the end, where you have tiny loops in two of the ropes, and one larger loop, which is the original doubled rope end.

 

 

 

Step 7

 

Twist the two tiny loops counterclockwise (toward the big loop).

 

 

Step 8

 

Pull the big loop through the twisted loops, and pull it snug.

 

 

 

To use the crotchrope, tie a rope several times around your partner’s waist. Push the loop in the crotchrope under the waist rope. Run the long rope ends from the crotchrope through the loop along with the braided part, and pull it snug, forming a lark’s head around the waist rope. Now run the braid through the crotch, and tie the end to your support.

 

Have fun!


8/10/2010 9:13:41 AM
How to Make a Rope CorsetA rope corset can be used as a bondage tool or as a simple fashionStatement. The former is more likely to be fashioned out of stout ropeto serve as a control device. The latter might be fashioned out oflightweight rope or cordage, in colors selected to complement anoutfit. Make sure that when you tie the rope corset, you wrap it taughtenough for it to stay up but not so tightly that it restricts yourbreathing.Difficulty: Moderately EasyThings You'll Need:Rope Sharp scissors Instructions Step 1 Fold your rope in half and grasp the folded middle point.Step 2 Pass the middle point of the rope around your body once, at the
level where you'd like the bottom level of your rope corset to sit.
Step 3 Draw both ends of the rope and its entire length through the middle
loop you made. This is called a lark's head knot and should hold
the rope snugly around your body.
Step 4  Reverse the wrapping direction, bringing the ends of the rope back
around your body in the opposite direction you began. Make sure this
wrap sits above the last one.
Step 5 Run the rope underneath the doubled loop from the lark's head knot,
then reverse direction and wrap it back around your body the other way,
again making sure that this wrap sits about the last one.
Step 6 Thread the ends of the rope underneath the loop made in the previous
step, then run it back around your body in the opposite direction.
Step 7 Continue running the ends of the rope underneath the loop made in each
previous pass, layering the coils of rope side-by-side up your body until
you're happy with the height of your rope corset.
Step 8 Tuck one of the rope ends underneath a previous loop or wrap layer, then
knot both rope ends together. This will keep your rope corset from unraveling.

8/10/2010 9:04:03 AM

Braided Crotchrope

 

This braided crotchrope is pretty, but also functional, since the braiding forms a pleasantly bumpy surface.

 

 

To make this crotchrope, you will need two pieces of 5/16-inch rope, one 22 feet long, and the other five feet long. They can be the same color, as they are here, or they can be contrasting colors, in which case you will get a pretty chevron pattern along the braid.

 

 

Step 1

 

 

To begin, take the midpoint of the 22-foot rope and place it at the center front of your captive’s waist.

 

 

Step 2

 

 

Wrap the ends around the waist, so you have two wraps above and two wraps below the midpoint, like this. Have your captive hold the ends.

Step 3

 

Take the five-foot rope and double it. Pass the loop under the wraps in the long rope, from the bottom to the top, like this:

 

 

 

Step 4

 

 

Pull the ends of the short rope through the loop, and pull snug.

 

 

Step 5

 

Let the ends of the short rope hang. Take the ends of the long rope, cross the left end over the right end, and pull them snug.

 

 

 

Step 6

 

Take the right end of the short rope and cross it over from right to left.

 

 

 

Step 7

 

Take the left end of the short rope and cross it over from left to right.

 

 

 

Step 8 

 

Keep crossing the outside ropes over, alternating left and right sides, until you run out of short rope. Tie the ends of the long rope in a square knot (left over right, right over left), trapping the ends of the short rope in place.

 

 

 

Step 9

 

Pull the braided rope through the crotch, making sure it is properly centered.

 

 

 

Step 10

 

Bring the ends of the rope up under the waist rope in back, and pull until the crotchrope has the desired tightness.

 

 

 

Step 11

 

Pass the ends of the rope under the vertical part of the crotch rope, from right to left, then through the loop you just formed, from left to right, making a half hitch.

 


8/10/2010 8:37:04 AM

Braided Crotchrope

 

This braided crotchrope is pretty, but also functional, since the braiding forms a pleasantly bumpy surface.

 

 

To make this crotchrope, you will need two pieces of 5/16-inch rope, one 22 feet long, and the other five feet long. They can be the same color, as they are here, or they can be contrasting colors, in which case you will get a pretty chevron pattern along the braid.

 

 

Step 1

 

 

To begin, take the midpoint of the 22-foot rope and place it at the center front of your captive’s waist.

 

 

Step 2

 

 

Wrap the ends around the waist, so you have two wraps above and two wraps below the midpoint, like this. Have your captive hold the ends.

Step 3

 

Take the five-foot rope and double it. Pass the loop under the wraps in the long rope, from the bottom to the top, like this:

 

 

 

Step 4

 

 

Pull the ends of the short rope through the loop, and pull snug.

 

 

Step 5

 

Let the ends of the short rope hang. Take the ends of the long rope, cross the left end over the right end, and pull them snug.

 

 

 

Step 6

 

Take the right end of the short rope and cross it over from right to left.

 

 

 

Step 7

 

Take the left end of the short rope and cross it over from left to right.

 

 

 

Step 8 

 

Keep crossing the outside ropes over, alternating left and right sides, until you run out of short rope. Tie the ends of the long rope in a square knot (left over right, right over left), trapping the ends of the short rope in place.

 

 

 

Step 9

 

Pull the braided rope through the crotch, making sure it is properly centered.

 

 

 

Step 10

 

Bring the ends of the rope up under the waist rope in back, and pull until the crotchrope has the desired tightness.

 

 

 

Step 11

 

Pass the ends of the rope under the vertical part of the crotch rope, from right to left, then through the loop you just formed, from left to right, making a half hitch.

 


8/10/2010 8:24:01 AM

 

you will need a short piece of    2 X 4

a piece of wood dowel rod (I suggest at least 1 inch diameter dowel)

a threaded rod     diameter)   and a wing nut  

and 2 eye screws or   eye hooks

and some   small cord or string

the hardest part will be drilling the hole through the dowel rod


8/7/2010 2:42:16 PM
Enema’s Recipes Cleansing Enemas Soapy Enema: 2 quarts warm water, I oz, of Castile or
Ivory soap (NOT dishwashing soap) DO NOT USE ANY
DETERGENT BASED SOAP! Detergents harm the colon.
You can use Johnson& Johnson No Tears Baby Shampoo.
No tears formula shampoos are non detergent and will clean
you out without causing any harm. Rinse with baking soda/or salt
enema. Same measurement I mentioned earlier for baking soda
or salt. 1 tablespoon to one quart water.
 Punishment enemas (Cramping) Milk and Molasses Enema: 1 quart warm water, 16 ounces warm
milk, and 16 ounces warm molasses.
Lemon Juice Enema: 2 quarts warm water, 1/2 cup lemon juice Milk and Honey Enema: 1 quart warm water, 16 oz. warm milk,
8 oz. warm honey, 4 egg whites.
 Punishment Enemas (burning) Ginger enema: 2 quarts warm water,
2 tablespoons ground ginger.
(Boil to disolve and allow it to cool
before administering.
Cayenne Pepper Enema: 2 quarts warm water,
2 tablespoons ground cayenne pepper.
(boil to disolve and
cool before administering.
 Additional Discomfort May use Vicks instead of Vaseline to lube. Take fresh Ginger Root, peel and carve into butt plug.
Insert after taking enema for intense burning sensation.
May also be used it without enema for other punishments.
Another one   is to use pure mineral oil about 2 quartsit should be followed by the soapy enema and then clear water

 


7/31/2010 3:32:52 PM

Fisting 101

safety and "how to" tips

This is a basic primer on fisting, including tips on how to do it and some important safety reminders. Once you've read this you may also want to visit the page on "anal sex" mentioned at the end of this article.

What is "fisting"?

Everyone (well, almost everyone) knows what finger-fucking is. Whether in ass or pussy, it's terrifically enjoyable to stroke someone inside. (Fingers up a man's ass, if aimed properly, will tickle his prostate gland, which feels AMAZINGLY good... just a little tip!) And people are generally comfortable with the idea of finger-fucking with more than one finger. But not as many people have been exposed to the idea of inserting a _whole hand_ into the ass or pussy... which is, in simplest terms, what fisting is. Yes, it's anatomically possible, and yes, it's EXTREMELY pleasurable. (I haven't experienced it, save vicariously.)

That said, it's now very important to explain what fisting is _not_. You do _not_ make a fist and ram it home. Fisting is one of the most intimate and complete ways to touch another human being, and it is something that has to be worked up to slowly and gently. There have been many posts about fisting on s.s.b-b, talking about the proper technique, the safety concerns, the fantastic feeling of openness and connection, the magical plane that two people fisting can attain... it's an incredibly intense way to make love. I can't do justice to the firsthand descriptions others have written, but I can mention some of the safety concerns.

Some safety issues

First of all, cut and file all your nails until every finger is as smooth as it could _possibly_ be. Your fingers will be in some very delicate places -- places that may not have pain receptors. You want to make sure you minimize all chance of causing damage.

Use latex gloves. AIDS is a matter of life and death.

You will probably want to clean your bottom's GI tract out. What else are enemas for? Be gentle with enemas; warm water is best. Don't use detergent in enemas. Some people enjoy putting alcohol (booze, not rubbing alcohol!) in enemas; if you do, use a VERY VERY VERY DILUTED solution, since it will get absorbed _real_ fast, and the bottom won't be able to expel it if they get too drunk. (I don't know a precise dosage, since this seems a bit too risky for me.)

Okay, now how do you do it?

Use LOTS (and I mean __LOTS__) of lube. Push it in with your fingers. Make a huge mess. Get it all over your hand, the back of your hand, between your fingers. Keep applying it as you go. You can't have too much lube. (And remember, oil-based lubricants dissolve latex). Some people like KY jelly; others say it dries out too quickly. In the UK, a substance called "Aqueous Cream" is the creme de la creme. Others use "J-Lube," which is a powdered concentrate that when added to water produces incredibly slippery goo; it's sold in veterinary supply houses! (Some people still use Crisco with latex gloves, on the theory that the Crisco is just the best lube, and the gloves don't break down _that_ fast. This is risky, but it's an option.)

Go slowly. Start with one finger and work up. DON'T RUSH. Be sensitive to your bottom's feelings. You are trying to persuade part of their body to open for you, to admit part of you deeply inside it. The energy will move back and forth, and you'll ride it, coaxing and pushing, in and out, moving your bottom into a trance. Keep communicating with your bottom; gags, or role-playing where the bottom feels inferior or is told to stay quiet, may not be conducive to the kind of relaxation and open empathy you'll probably need if this is a first time.

If your bottom suddenly hits their limit, you'll know; their orifice will clench tight shut suddenly. DON'T PULL OUT. Stay right where you are until the contraction ends, THEN start pulling out. You can pull a muscle or two if you try to back out in the middle of a reaction like that. If this happens, it's OK; you'll know to go slower next time (if you both want to try again). But assuming all is well...

When you reach five fingers, you're almost there. Now is when you want to be most sensitive and most aware. Your bottom is going to be flying on pain and pleasure; a sudden flinch and you'll find the asshole or vagina doesn't want you anymore. Respect that, and pull out (slowly!). But if your bottom's bottom wants it, then you'll slip your knuckles inside, folding your thumb *inside* your fingers, and (so I've been told) your hand will NATURALLY form a fist -- you DON'T need to clench your hand or anything else! (Note: be careful with your nails as you form a fist).

Now the real fun begins... explore, entice, pleasure your bottom, who will be in heaven... and when it comes time to pull out, do so slowly and naturally!


7/31/2010 3:25:52 PM

Whipping

...why is it such fun?

Why is whipping fun? One way of thinking about whipping is as another way of touching someone. People who are just getting into SM frequently play with spanking; it's fun to be spanked! It's a punishment, it's a strong stimulus, it hurts very pleasurably. But if you've ever spanked anyone for a long time you know that your spanking hand wears out quickly!

Well, that's what whips are for -- to allow you to hit someone for a longer time, without tiring out. There are many varieties of whips (cat-o-nine tails, heavy floggers, canes, light braided switches, suede pussy whips, and on and on), all of which feel very different and which have their own individual effect. A whip-loving top will often carry a veritable arsenal of different floggers, but they are all extensions of the top's touch. Indeed, when I whip or cane someone, I feel as though I am touching them -- as though the instrument is an extension of my arm and my desire.

There are deeper reasons why the variety is so diverse. A whipping scene will often start off very lightly, with the top using a small whip to sensitize the bottom and get them into the rhythm of the scene, switching to heavier and heavier whips as the bottom gets deeper and deeper, more and more receptive to additional sensation. Of course, the top may choose to lead the bottom on any kind of tactile journey the top desires--switching from stinging light switches to biting canes to soft fleeces. (Yes, it can feel GREAT when your top stops hitting you and suddenly brushes a velvet cloth against your back! Or maybe an ice cube...). It's all about physical sensation.

Quite often people in the scene describe whips as being "thuddy" or "stingy." Thuddy whips land with a solid impact; they shove you, they feel like a cross between a hug and a punch. Stingy whips land with a bite; they feel like a cross between a scratch and a slap. Both kinds of sensation are enjoyable in different ways, and a skilled top can alternate thud and sting (and then some!) to create waves of sensation that wash their bottom into ecstasy.

Most people enjoy a slow buildup when being whipped. This can culminate in an explosive climax of impacts, leaving both top and bottom drained and delighted. Or it can wind down gently, ending casually. Or it can stop feeling good suddenly, resulting in a safweord. Or it can turn into a galloping intense sex scene! But the general "start slow, build up, end intensely" tempo is common to many SM scenes: from gentle to stronger to WOW and then back to gentle, then a little stronger, then WOW!!... and gentle again. It's the motion of the ocean, as they say. It takes practice to know how to use this to blow your bottom's mind, but the more you learn, the more skilled you will be, and believe me, these skills -- teasing your partner and making them feel better and Better and BETTER -- are very useful in non-SM contexts as well!

Whips aren't the end of the story. Some people use paddles -- of leather or wood, sometimes with holes cut in them to decrease air resistance and make for a harder impact. Paddles produce a solid "smack!" which can feel like a super-powerful spanking. Some players like canes, which can be thick or thin, stiff or relatively flexible. Canes can produce some of the strongest impacts of all -- the "whick!" of a quick-moving cane is distinctive. Not everyone can handle the intensely focused pain canes can produce, but those who can tend to greatly enjoy it. Wooden spoons and kitchen spatulas have been pressed into service as instruments of flagellation. For a while, Nerf bats were very popular in some San Francisco parties I went to. (Bonk!) If none of this makes any sense to you, well, if you have to ask, you might not understand.

Whipping or spanking is sometimes used as part of a "punishment" scene, in which the pretext for the scene is that the bottom has been disobedient or naughty in some way which requires chastisement. This can be fun to do as role-playing, but it may not work in a more long-term D&S dynamic. Bottoms often find it erotic to receive non-damaging sensation from their top -- and of course any scene causing permanent damage is not safe nor sane. If your bottom learns that the best way to get enjoyably beaten is to misbehave, you'll have a very bad bottom on your hands. It's often then best to separate "play" punishments -- which are intended to be fun -- from "real" punishments involving seriously broken agreements. Here is where reality and fantasy need to be delicately separated, and here is where the real world differs from S&M fiction.

When whipping someone, be careful. Heavy whipping is usually done on the back or ass, simply because those are the parts of the body which can take it most readily. Be careful of hitting the spine, which can break the skin where the vertebrae come close to the surface. Stay away from the kidneys, as kidney damage can occur if you hit them too hard. Stay away from the neck, for the same reasons you avoided the spine.

Be aware that if you hit someone hard enough (which may be lighter than you'd think) you will bruise them, and if you keep going you can break the skin, which is decidedly unsafe sex; and leather or string whips are tough to clean. For this reason, some dedicated masochists have their own toys which have come in contact with their blood, and henceforth can be used only on them. Whippings like this are very strenuous, but as with all SM, you can start out light and get only as heavy as you want! Bruises will heal (even large ones), as will light cuts or abrasions, but you should know how to avoid unintended damage that won't be so accommodating.

One thing to watch for (a distant risk, but worth knowing): melanoma, a form of skin cancer, can be worsened by skin trauma. If you see a mole on your bottom's back that looks uneven, discolored, or different than it used to, avoid that area, and have them see a dermatologist.


7/22/2010 1:36:57 AM
Had an accident With a broken Leg and Hand soory cant get here so much untill i get recover

7/17/2010 8:19:33 AM

Kinky Crafts

Making your own toys

Here are a few items you can make easily and inexpensively for yourself. Maybe you want to be able to construct some toys instead of carrying things with you when you travel, or maybe you like the idea of using things you've made on someone. Either way, here are eight quick ideas for toys you can make yourself from easy obtainable materials. Each of the materials lists tells you what you need to make one of them, but you can make as many as you want the same way.


Bubblewrap Dildo

Materials List
• non-lubricated condom(s)
• some bubblewrap, approximately 8"x10"
• some duct tape (only need a little)

Construction Details
First, take the bubblewrap and roll it up (bubble side out for more sensations). Now take the condom and unroll it over the bubblewrap tube you made. Finally, use a little duct tape to seal the condom and you have an instant dildo. Or, if you want to use two condoms, you can skip sealing the first one and just slip the second one over the open end of the first condom now and then roll it down before sealing it with a little duct tape.

Play Tip
Tell your partner to try to pop as many bubbles as they can (without using their hands of course).


Simple Spreader Bar

Materials List
• wooden dowel rod, approximately 1"x24"
• three screw eyes, #6 size

Construction Details
If you happen to have a drill you can make this easier by pre-drilling a hole in each end of the dowel rod and one hole in the middle. But if you don't have a drill it's easy enough to just attach the screw eyes by hand. One goes in each end of the dowel rod, and one goes in the middle of the rod.

Play Tips
Ankle or wrist cuffs or other restraints can be attached to the eyes in the ends of the dowel rod. The middle eye and some rope or chain can be used to secure the rod to the head- or footboard of a bed, to a wall, or to the ceiling if you have an attachment point there. [Note: do not use for suspension, a metal spreader bar is suggested for any real weight-bearing play.]


Golfball Gag

Materials List
• practice golfball, plastic, with holes
• piece of leather thong, approximately 24"
• emery board

Construction Details
First, take the emery board and work on the rough edges where the two halves of the golf ball were joined. (Remember it's going in someone's mouth and you don't want to cut their lips.) Then pass the leather lace through two holes on opposing sides of the ball. Knot the lace on each side of the ball to keep it centered on the lace.

Play Tips
The ball goes in the mouth, the lace ties behind the head. The holes in the ball allow for breathing, drooling, and some grunting and screaming sounds to escape. Since your partner won't as easily be able to use a safeword (if you use them), you'll need to set up a safe signal instead.


Bootlace Whip

Materials List
• handful of bootlaces, or the plastic lacing used for lanyards
• roll of duct tape

Construction Details
Take the bootlaces and fold them in half. If you're using the plastic lacing, cut them into lengths about 3 feet long and then fold those in half. Wrap duct tape around the folded section to make a handle for the whip.

Play Tips
With a variety of plastic lacing colors and some colored duct tape you can make a pretty attractive whip. But remember that this is not a gentle whip, and can be used to cause sharp though not severe pain (depending on where it's used). You can also try wetting the laces before use to add more weight to the tails.


Frayed Rope Flogger

Materials List
• three feet of soft nylon rope
• popsicle stick
• piece of leather thong, approximately 24"
• Super Glue

Construction Details
Take the rope and fold it in half with the popsicle stick lengthwise in the middle. Now put some Super Glue on the end of the leather thong. What you want to do is wrap the leather thong around the folded rope and popsicle stick to make a handle for the flogger. Start by wrapping over the end with the Super Glue on it, then finish by adding some glue to the other end and tucking it under the wraps. When you're done just unravel the rope to create the flogger tails.

Play Tips
While this isn't a very painful flogger, it's good for warming up someone before a heavier flogging or for bringing someone back down after one. The tails can tangle pretty easily, so tie a knot in them when not in use to keep them under control (hitting them with a little spray Static Guard will help with that too).


Clothespin Zipper

Materials List
• six to eight clothespins (or more)
• silk cord, or plastic or leather lace, 24" (or more)

Construction Details
This zipper can be made a couple of ways. The traditional way is to pass the cord or lace through the metal spring in each clothespin and knot the cord on each side of each clothespin. This gives you a reusable zipper that stays together for next time. The other way to make a zipper is to simply clamp each clothespin over the cord. While there is nothing keeping the clothespins on the cord, they will still all pull off at once.

Play Tips
Make these with sets of different sized clothespins. You can string a lot of the little tiny ones on a cord to torment places where the big clothespins don't work as well. Tie several strings to one control cord and pull that one to remove all the sets at once.


Black Jack Cane

Materials List
• some clear vinyl tubing, 1/4" or 1/2" inside diameter, 24" long
• two to four erasers from the ends of pencils
• big handful of BBs (copper, steel or both)
• Super Glue • roll of duct tape

Construction Details
First put some Super Glue inside one end of the vinyl tubing. Now stuff one or two erasers inside the tube to seal that end. Trim the eraser even with the end of the tube. Turn the tube around and pour the BBs into the other end, almost filling the tube. (Twirl a piece of paper into a funnel shape to make pouring them in easier.) Put a little Super Glue inside this end of the tube too. And now stuff an eraser or two into this end, trimming it even with the tube end again. Wrap as much duct tape as you want around one end of the tube to make a handle for the cane.

Play Tips
Depending on the diameter of the tube you'll have either a stingier or a thuddier cane. If you use both steel and copper BBs you can add them in layers for a nice visual effect in the clear tubing. Add colored duct tape for a more custom touch. You can also fold the tube in half and duct tape the whole length of it to create a nice thuddy blackjack.


Tit Wringer

Materials List
• two wooden dowel rods, 3/8" diameter, 24" long (or long cooking chopsticks)
• two or four elastic hair ties

Construction Details
Place one of the dowel rods under your partner's breasts. Place the other dowel rod above their breasts. Add the hair ties to the ends of the dowel rods to squeeze them tightly together.

Play Tips
These work best on someone with larger breasts. You may find they slip off on smaller breasts. An option is to use two sets of smaller chopsticks to bind each breast separately, or to bind just the nipples or directly behind them. You can also tie a cord around the middle of the two rods and loop it around the back of your partner's neck, both to help hold the wringer up and because the wringer will be getting yanked around whenever your partner's neck moves.


7/17/2010 7:54:06 AM

10 Anal Sex Rules"

Things to Know about Anal Sex

 

10 Rules of Anal Sex

Anal Eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of men and women - straight, gay and bisexual - are experimenting with anal sex. The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm. Thirty-five years ago, Kinsey stated that the anal region had erotic significance for about half of the population. In a survey of 100,000 Playboy readers, 47 percent of the men and 61 percent of the women admitted to having tried anal intercourse.

Yet the anal taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking and learning about the sexual use of the anus. Listed here are the ten things most men and women still do not know about anal sex.

1. Anal intercourse is the least practiced form of anal sex.

There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniques include touching the anal opening while masturbating or stimulating a partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex.

Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger - their own or a lover's - insinuated into their anal opening and gently rotated. Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum. Many men, including heterosexuals, prefer this form of penetration.

Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it or allowing themselves to be probed in this special way.

2. Anal stimulation, including intercourse, is not painful if done properly.

The belief that anal stimulation, especially intercourse, has to hurt is a persistent and dangerous myth. Just as pain anywhere in the body indicates that something is wrong, so is the same true of the anal area. With its high concentration of nerve endings, the anus can produce extreme agony when it is mistreated. Yet it can be a source of great pleasure.

When a finger, object or penis is introduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion. Pain will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress they will eventually collapse and the pain subside, unless further damage is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly from the absence of discomfort.

Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire.

Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxes, but the passive partner is still not in the mood. Stimulation should mount only in proportion to the degree of receptivity.

3. Anal sex can be enjoyed even if it has been consistently uncomfortable in the past.

Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Nor is an uncomfortable previous experience always the reason for a lack of interest in or desire for anal sex.

Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort during sex. Hemorrhoids and constipation are usually a sign of this condition. Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and becoming more familiar with it. An ideal time to explore the anal opening is while taking a shower or bath. Deep breathing also affects the anal muscles. Tensing the anus and the letting go in another way of learning to relax it. Anyone who enjoys masturbation might want to experiment with some form of anal stimulation, though he or she should stop if any discomfort occurs.

For many people the turning point in anal sex is when they allow a partner to massage the anus with the understanding that intercourse will not be attempted. Then the recipient of anal caresses can concentrate solely on the pleasure that this erogenous zone is capable of generating.

4. Two muscle rings called sphincters surround the anal opening. Each functions independently.

If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the central nervous system - just like the muscles of the hand, for example. You can readily tense and relax this sphincter whenever you want.

The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the involuntary or autonomic part of the nervous system, which governs such functions as heartbeat and stress response.

The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety during anal sex. It will cause the anus to tense up automatically even if the passive partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions about safety and comfort are essential here.

Even if a person does feel comfortable during anal sex, he or she may still need to learn voluntary control over his or her internal sphincter in order to relax it at will. Doing so requires regularly inserting a finger, perhaps in the shower each day, and feeling the internal sphincter. The muscle changes spontaneously and in response to behavior. In this instance, simply paying attention is more important than trying to relax. Anyone can gradually learn to control the internal sphincter at will.

5. Anal stimulation provides many kinds of pleasure

The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal opening itself. A finger can focus on them especially effectively. When an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasures are involved. The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to pressure.

Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they understand that these sensations do not presage an impending bowel movement. Rectal pressure is especially important to enthusiasts of "fisting," a form of anal sex in which several fingers or even the entire hand and forearm are inserted into the rectum and sometimes into the lower colon.

In men, the prostate - which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in, towards the front of the body - can be a source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower end of the penis, or "bulb," is near the anal opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex.

Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as physical. The anal taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common anti-anal message (it's dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of raunchy, sleazy excitement. Rimming enthusiasts may enjoy the feeling that they are being disgustingly - and delightfully - perverse. Other people regard the anus as a secret, special place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and giving.

6. Anal stimulation can lead to orgasm

A minority of men and women can respond orgasmically to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority even though the sheer excitement of being anally penetrated. When men experience an orgasm from anal stimulation, they tend to focus on the prostate. No doubt they are also responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb.

Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their sensations and fantasies. An almost certain way to prevent such an orgasm is to be become determined to have one. Seeking an anal orgasm will create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure.

It must be remembered that most people require direct genital stimulation in order to climax. On the other hand, a few people have orgasms only with anal stimulation.

7. Diet contributes to the enjoyment of anal sex

Regular bowel movements are the major function of the anus and rectum. There must be sufficient fiber in a person's diet to make his or her feces soft, bulky and well formed. This allows a bowel movement to be produced without force or effort. Forced evacuations irritate anal tissues, causing discomfort and adding to muscular tensions. Fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains or unprocessed bran are important sources of fiber.

8. Different rules of hygiene apply to the vagina and rectum

Since intercourse can be vaginal or rectal, many people assume the same rules apply for the penetration of the vagina and rectum. Although both are lined with soft tissue and are capable of expanding, they are radically dissimilar.

The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal which connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts toward the front of the body. A few inches in, it curves back - sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops toward the front of the body once again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you loose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become irretrievable.

The rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina but only a small amount of mucus. Therefore, rectal penetration always requires a lubricant. Chemical additives should be avoided. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible.

The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces. But feces are not normally stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel movement. Yet small amounts may remain in the rectum, especially if the feces are not well formed. Anal douching before lovemaking will help some people especially concerned with cleanliness to relax. For others the idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden; for them, douching is anti-erotic.

9. Anal intercourse is not necessarily an act of dominance and submission.

The top-bottom imagery associated with anal intercourse is widespread. No doubt the belief that anal sex has to hurt contributes to this notion. And in fact some people are intensely excited by top-bottom fantasies about anal sex. The thought that they are submitting to such a degrading act is a terrific thrill. However, actual, not fantasized, anal pain can lead to trouble.

For others, the enjoyment of anal sex is inhibited by top-bottom imagery. The idea of surrendering control, and perhaps submitting to humiliation, causes immediate, protective tensing of the anal muscles. These individuals are more likely to relax and enjoy themselves if they can learn to regard anal sex as pleasurable rather than as an expression of power.

10. Anal sex can be perfectly safe, even beneficial.

The taboo against anal eroticism is perpetuated by the almost universal belief among physicians that anal sex is inevitably dangerous. No physical injury from anal stimulation results if both partners refuse to tolerate pain, never use force and avoid the use of drugs.

All the other risks center on sexually transmitted diseases. Each of the common STDs - gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes - can affect the anus. Intestinal parasites, bacteria or tiny bugs are usually passed along when fecal matter finds its way into someone's mouth or vagina, most likely through rimming.

AIDS has complicated the matter. The HIV virus can pass from the semen or blood of an infected person to the bloodstream of a partner through a tiny break in the rectal tissue during anal intercourse.

To avoid this risk, anal intercourse and rimming should not be practiced casually. Those who do enjoy anal intercourse should always use a condom. Rimming should always be accomplished by a latex barrier. Of course, in a monogamous relationship with two healthy people, the risk of disease transmitted anally is reduced.

Thousands of men and women with chronic anal medical problems have restored their anal health by challenging their negative attitudes. This approach is indispensible for full erotic enjoyment of the anus.


7/17/2010 7:49:00 AM

Hair Bondage Tips

techniques and tricks
for doing it right

Incorporating the hair in your bondage is appealing to many and for many different reasons. It dramatically increases the feeling of being restrained, it's incredibly intimate and personal, it can be painful, humiliating and it often is a very effecitive way to keep the head still and in position for other things, such as "forced" oral sex.

 
Binding the hair may not always be easy. The hair easily slips out of every knot you tie, unless you know how to do it right. And not every technique can applied with every type of hair. Long hair is a lot easier to use of course. Short and extremely short hair may be a problem. In other words, you may to to experiment with different techniques a bit before you find the one most suitable for your own situation.

[Pro Tip] If you find the hair still slips out of the rope, try using hair spray first. This will make the hair less slippery and stick to the rope and to itself.

Be considerate with your submissive. If a strand of hair has been tied for any length of time, it may be hard to get it back into the normal style for a day or two - especially if it's usually worn loose. Hence don't do this in the event your sub has to go to work or to an important job interview the next morning.

No matter what you see on pictures and in videos, there is a certain risk. Any brisk or unexpected movement may cause someone to pull out their own hair, especially if the strand used is not thick enough. Especially if you and your submissive are inexperienced, make sure you use thick strand or an entire ponytail and never "hang" anyone inexperienced from the hair. This includes forcing someone to stand on their toes tied this way - if they fall, lose their balance or faint they may scalp themself.

Okay, now that we've settled that, let's concentrate on some of the different techniques. We'll describe several techniques here that everybody can do, without special knot tying techniques or needing special attributes.

Technique 1 - Japanese Braiding

Japanese bondage masters prefer special rice rope for this, but hemp will do just as well because it's a bit rough. This is a typical long hair technique and the main advantage is that it can be kept in for hours or days if you like and that - once tied correctly - you can use it for a variety of different playforms. If you're planning to use it in different forms (this goes for all forms of hair bondage) observe the pulling direction. For example, if the direction of the bondage is downward, never use it for an upward position later without changing it, since that will cause the full force to be applied on only a part of the strand which may cause your submissive to pull parts of their hair out themself. The safest way is to put the hair in a loose ponytail at the back center of the head first.

Now what you do is you take three or four thin ropes and use them together as one rope. Lay the middle of your rope bundle behind the ponytail and wrap both ends around the tail (as TIGHT as you can) two or three times, about one third of the length of the ponytail from the head. Next divide both the rope bundle and the hair in three strands and braid them again TIGHTLY (really try doing this as tight as you can) and go down as far as you can. When done, seperate the rope from the hair and tie the rope strings together with a series of reef knots (also called square knots), tight again. You can now either use the remainder of the rope bundle (if long enough) to tie it to something else or tie another rope to the end of the braided bundle to use in the rest of your bondage.

Technique 2 - The Knot Tube

This technique again is only suitable for long hair. Best use hemp rope again, about the thickness of a pencil. Seperate a strand of hair (or use an entire ponytail) and work from the middle of the rope. Wrap it around the strand, close to the head once and make a half reef knot. Now lay the strand of hair over the knot and make another half reef knot. Wrap the rope around the strand again and repeat the procedure. Repeat this over and over again. Mind you, this takes quite a while to complete and an equally long time or more to untie again so this is not something to do in the event you only have a little time. Make sure to make your wraps and knots TIGHT and be aware that a small strand or slick hair may easily slip out, despite the number of knots. Using hair spray may be a good idea in such cases.

[Pro Tip] If you want to be extra "cruel" make the strand of hair wet before tying it this way. Especially if the hair remains tied like this for a couple of hours and dries this will cause a great "semi-permanent wave" that may last one or two days, causing a similar effect bruises after a whipping or a caning has. In other words, they'll have something visible to remind them of the bondage for a longer period of time.

Technique 3 - The Ring

The final technique we'd like to discuss here is the use of a ring. This technique is probably your best best if your submissive's hair is not really long and also is the simplest one if you're not an experienced bondage master.

You can use any type of ring. Take a strand of hair, lead it through the ring and fold it around it. Make sure the part between the head and the ring is one-third of the hair and the part that's folded back is two-thirds. Now either use thin packing rope or fishing line and wrap this around the folded strand, starting from the ring and working towards the head. When finished, fold the remaining one-third upward and repeat the wrapping, this time upwards towards the ring and finally tie the rope. Make sure your wrapping is a tight as possible. When done correctly it is next to impossible that the hair will slip out of the rope and the ring of course can be used as a connection point for any other bondage. The possibilities are endless: from tying the submissive's hands behind their head to fastening the ring to something else, like a wall hook or whatever other object. The ring of course also allows for the use of quick snap hooks, so this technique is very suitable for use in combination with other things, like leather of steel handcuffs, tackles and similar gear. This too can be left in almost endlessly, provided the strand used is not too thin (if it is it's likely the tension eventually will become too much.

[Pro Tip] Tie one of these rings in the hair, one on each side of the head, and the possibilities are endless, especially for humiliating positions like cuffing the hands to the sides of the head (and giving someone all sorts of tasks to perform, like serving dinner or pouring a drink - which will not only be difficult and thus humiliating, but will also automatically force them to pull their own hair which also makes a great form of "self punishment") or to restrain someone's head in a position for forced oral sex.

2/6/2010 1:43:51 PM

How I Masturbate

I get to play a lot with other people but sometimes I end up playing with myself. I know I've mentioned a lot of times before that I play with myself and that I can hardly keep my hands off my pussy most of the time but I realized last night when I was in bed, you guessed it, playing with myself, that I don't think I've ever really shared a lot of details about exactly what I do, which isn't always the same by the way, it really depends on just how horny and crazed I am at the time and what kind of time I have. Sometimes I go for just a get off quick kind of thing and other times when I have time I like to draw it out and really have some fun for a couple hours.

So first the quick orgasm. I start by licking and sucking on my fingers to get them nice and wet and then I spend most of my time rubbing my clit but as my pussy starts to get really wet, I'll slide my fingers down my pussy lips and in my little hole to pick up some extra juices. Then I go back to my clit and sometimes I'll stick my fingers back in my mouth and suck on them so I can taste my juices before going back down and rubbing my clit. This gets me off pretty quick usually but sometimes I will also spank my own pussy a little as well.

When I have a little more I like to have a little more fun with it. Someties this involves bringing out a dildo or vibrator so that I can fuck myself as I play with my clit which is really nice because my pussy juices really start to run when I have something filling up my tight little hole. Speaking of which, as you may know I have a pretty good collection of butt plugs too. A couple have tails, one is inflatable and a few others are just fun little things I can use to fill my ass. I really love the feeling of having a plug stretching and filling my ass as a textured dildo is sliding in and out of my juicy fuck hole. So when I have time to do this, I'll generally suck on a butt plug and lube it a little and slide it in my ass.

Finally if I'm really into self love mode especially at night, I'll actually put myself in a little self bondage, cuffs, dog collar with leash, gag filling my mouth (a ring or whiffle ball gag if I'm going to leave it in for a while), maybe slide a little latex on and of course insert the plug in my ass. I'll allow myself to cum a couple times and then drift off to sleep while still in bondage, juices still dripping from my slutty little cunt and the plug still filling my tight Estonian ass and the gag of course keeping my cocksucking mouth quiet. I find I'll wake up in the middle of the night like this and play with myself some more and then drift off again and thats really nice.

Of course all of this self love never takes the place of a real Domme to use and abuse my little body, so if I'm feeling really horny and masturbation in any of its forms just isn't going to cut it, then its time for me to become a cyber whore and let some of my play partners know that I'm ready to be their personal fuck toy and naturally, I not only dress the part to be a cyber whore in heat, but I am one too


2/6/2010 1:22:37 PM

 Tips For Inducing Lactation In Any Woman

Inducing lactation is an artificial method of producing milk in a woman’s breasts. This option is usually considered if a mother is having difficulties producing milk on her own, adopting a baby or is using a surrogate mother to have a baby. Inducing lactation is a great boon for women who want to breast feed but cannot.

Lactation can be induced by stimulating the nipple. This stimulation results in the increase in the hormone responsible for milk production. The hormone is known as prolactin. However, just having prolactin in the body is not sufficient to for milk production. Even the ductile tissue of the breasts has to be increased in size. This would explain the reason why women who induce lactation produce less milk. The reason is because they have fewer ducts compared to woman who goes through the process of pregnancy and childbirth.

       You can also induce lactation by taking medication. Many doctors might recommend taking Reglan or Domperidone. These two drugs increase the production of prolactin and it is believed that the side effects from these drugs are minimal.

Here are some tips for inducing lactation in any woman:

- Visit you doctor to discuss the various options open for inducing lactation. You should take the best possible option. If necessary, you can also contact an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant.

- You can stimulate your breasts by massaging it. Or you can stimulate the nipple manually or using a breast pump. If you are using a breast pump, it is best to use a hospital grade pump which is available a most local hospitals and drug stores.

- You can opt for taking drugs like Reglan or Domperidone to induce lactation. However, you need to consult your physician for this option.

- The other option of inducing lactation is to opt for hormonal therapy. Here, you will be injected with estrogen and once the estrogen reaches the required level, you will be injected with prolactin enhancing hormone which is start the milk production.

      If your baby has already come home, you can place the baby near the nipple and allow him or her to suckle it. This process will take time.

 

Physiology Behind Lactation

Milk production in the breasts does not start out as a supply and demand process. During pregnancy and few days after giving birth, lactation is controlled by hormones. When you are pregnant and all hormones are present, you will start producing colostrums around halfway through your pregnancy. This stage is known as Lactogenesis I.

 Your breasts will stage producing milk in increased volume 30 to 40 hours after you give birth and this stage is known Lactogenesis II. However, during the latter part of your pregnancy, your breasts do manufacture colostrums but the presence of progesterone does not allow milk to be secreted. Once you give birth, there is an abrupt drop in the levels of progesterone and estrogen, which leads to the production of milk or Lactogenesis II.

       Although production of copious amount of milk starts 30 to 40 hours after giving birth, most women do not feel an increase in breast fullness until 50 to 70 hours after giving birth. Lactogenesis I and II are hormonally driven and occur whether or not a woman is breast feeding her baby.

      Thereafter, the body changes to a different control system. Now it becomes a supply and demand process. When the baby drinks milk, the breasts become empty. This leads to further production of milk. Under normal circumstances, the breasts will continue to produce milk as long as milk removal continues. This said, hormones can still interfere with the supply of milk but their levels play a lesser role.

      Physiology behind lactation is rather simple. Here is a non-scientific explanation. For milk production to take place, a hormone called prolactin has to be present. On the walls of the milk producing cells of the alveoli, there are prolactin receptors that allow prolactin to be taken from the blood and stimulate the production of milk. When the breasts (alveoli) are full of milk, prolactin cannot enter the receptor sites and thus the rate of milk production decreases. As milk empties from the alveoli, prolactin receptors allow prolactin to pass through and the rate of milk production increases.

 

Breast Growth Induced Lactation

For mothers who get babies through surrogacy or adoption, induced lactation is an opportunity for the mother to experience physical and emotional bonding with the newborn. Usually mothers use the time breast feeding to bond with their infants.

       Lactaction involves two hormones and these hormones are Prolactin and Oxytocin. Prolactin is the milk making hormone and oxytocin is responsible for the releasing of breast milk. Unlike other hormones, these two hormones are controlled by the pituitary gland and are not ovarian hormones. Thus, it is possible to induce lactation even if a woman has had hysterectomy.

       The hormones involved in induced lactation respond to nipple stimulation and this means they will also respond to manual stimulation of the nipples and breasts. Manual stimulation can be massaging the breast, nipple manipulation, sucking by the baby or sucking by a hospital grade electric breast pump.

       Usually manual stimulation is sufficient to induce lactation. However, women have the option of choosing hormonal therapy to bring about lactation. In this therapy, the woman is administered with large doses of estrogen hormone which fools the body into believing that the woman is pregnant. Then the hormone is abruptly withdrawn just like what happens after a woman gives birth. Thereafter, prolactin levels are increased by giving medication and allowing the baby to suck the nipple.

       Inducing lactation can take anywhere from 5 days to 4 months. Initially mothers produce just a few drops of milk but as the process of inducing lactation continues, women start experiencing the following symptoms:

- Increased thirst

- Change in the nipple color

- Breast growth

- Tenderness of the breasts

- Change in menstruation cycle

- Change in libido

 

How To Force Lactation

 

 

Although you might be surprised to hear this, but it is possible to force lactation even without giving birth to a baby. Many American women who are adopting babies prefer to nurse their babies. This is achieved by inducing lactation using a variety of methods.

 

How to force lactation:
       If you want to induce lactation, it is important to understand the way breast milk is produced. When a woman is pregnant, breasts get ready for lactation due to influence from hormones like estrogen, progesterone and prolactin. Because of the presence of these hormones, the body responds naturally and the ducts within the breasts increase in size.

       After the woman gives birth, levels of estrogen and progesterone decrease dramatically while the level of prolactin increases, thus leading to lactation.

However, to force lactation without pregnancy, the level of prolactin has to be increased in the body and this is possible by nipple stimulation. When the level of prolactin increases, the brain is given a signal to release oxytocin, which allows the release of milk from the breasts.

      You can stimulate your nipples by manual stimulation of using a dual action breast pump. If you want to use a breast pump, make sure it is a hospital grade pump. You can even massage your breasts on a regular basis to force lactation.

       If you want you can also use medication to induce lactation. Many women are known to use a drug named domperidone. This drug is known to interfere with the production of dopamine, which reduces the amount of prolactin produced by the pituitary gland.

 

Lactation Without Pregnancy

 

Lactation without pregnancy usually occurs in women who are of childbearing age. It is seen the most women who are affected by this symptom are between the ages of 16 and 40. Lactation without pregnancy is usually caused by high levels of hormones responsible for production of milk.

 

High hormone levels in a woman can be caused by natural changes in the body that occur in every woman during specific periods in her life. Hormone levels can also increase if you are taking certain medication and once you stop the medication, the lactation will cease. Other reasons for lactation without pregnancy include unnoticed miscarriage, which is dismissed as painful menstruation, and glandular problems that cause hormone imbalance.

       Usually lactation without pregnancy is harmless but it could be an indication of a greater problem in the body. If you are lactation because of hormonal imbalance, it is important that you get imbalance corrected or it could lead to serious issues.

       If you are lactating without pregnancy, you should immediately visit your doctor to ensure that there is nothing wrong with your health. A doctor is the best person to figure out why you are lactating and he or she will take the necessary steps to remedy the situation. If lactation without pregnancy is caused by natural adjustments of hormones in the body, it is best to wait for the hormones to adjust to their normal levels.

       It has been seen that most cases of lactation without pregnancy resolve on their own with time. However, occasionally medical intervention is required if there is an underlying health condition.


2/6/2010 1:09:08 PM

Lactation

 

Lactation describes the secretion of milk from the glands Milk production can be "artificially"and intentionally obtained in the absence of pregnancy in the women. It is not necessary that the women has ever been pregnant, and she can be well in her post-menopausal period. Women who have never been pregnant are sometimes able to induce enough lactation to breastfeed. This is called "induced lactation". Women who have breastfed before can be able to re-start. This is called "relactation".This is how some adoptive mothers, Slave and also,some couples may use lactation for sexual purposes, usually beginning with a supplemental nursing system or some other form of supplementation,can breastfeed. There is thought to be little or no difference in milk composition whether lactation is artificially induced or a result of pregnancy.Lactation can be induced by physical stimulation and by drugs. In principle—with considerable patience and perseverance—it is possible to induce lactation by sucking on the nipples alone. The nipples may need to be consistently stimulated by a breast pump or actual suckling (several times a day), and the breasts massaged and squeezed ("milked") to encourage flow of any milk. Temporary use of galactagogue (milk-inducing) drugs is also effective; galactagogue herbs may also be of use. Once established, lactation responds to demand.

Tips For Inducing Lactation In Any Woman :

 

Inducing lactation is an artificial method of producing milk in a woman’s breasts. This option is usually considered if a mother is having difficulties producing milk on her own, adopting a baby or is using a surrogate mother to have a baby. Inducing lactation is a great boon for women who want to breast feed but cannot. Lactation can be induced by stimulating the nipple. This stimulation results in the increase in the hormone responsible for milk production. The hormone is known as prolactin. However, just having prolactin in the body is not sufficient to for milk production. Even the ductile tissue of the breasts has to be increased in size. This would explain the reason why women who induce lactation produce less milk. The reason is because they have fewer ducts compared to woman who goes through the process of pregnancy and childbirth.You can also induce lactation by taking medication. Many doctors might recommend taking Reglan or Domperidone. These two drugs increase the production of prolactin and it is believed that the side effects from these drugs are minimal.

 

Here are some tips for inducing lactation in any woman:
- Visit you doctor to discuss the various options open for inducing lactation. You should take the best possible option. If necessary, you can also contact an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant.
- You can stimulate your breasts by massaging it. Or you can stimulate the nipple manually or using a breast pump. If you are using a breast pump, it is best to use a hospital grade pump which is available a most local hospitals and drug stores.
- You can opt for taking drugs like Reglan or Domperidone to induce lactation. However, you need to consult your physician for this option.
- The other option of inducing lactation is to opt for hormonal therapy. Here, you will be injected with estrogen and once the estrogen reaches the required level, you will be injected with prolactin enhancing hormone which is start the milk production.

How To Force Lactation

 If you want to induce lactation, it is important to understand the way breast milk is produced. When a woman is pregnant, breasts get ready for lactation due to influence from hormones like estrogen, progesterone and prolactin. Because of the presence of these hormones, the body responds naturally and the ducts within the breasts increase in size.
After the woman gives birth, levels of estrogen and progesterone decrease dramatically while the level of prolactin increases, thus leading to lactation.
However, to force lactation without pregnancy, the level of prolactin has to be increased in the body and this is possible by nipple stimulation. When the level of prolactin increases, the brain is given a signal to release oxytocin, which allows the release of milk from the breasts.
 You can stimulate your nipples by manual stimulation of using a dual action breast pump. If you want to use a breast pump, make sure it is a hospital grade pump. You can even massage your breasts on a regular basis to force lactation.
If you want you can also use medication to induce lactation. Many women are known to use a drug named domperidone. This drug is known to interfere with the production of dopamine, which reduces the amount of prolactin produced by the pituitary gland.

Lactation

Lactation is a natural process that begins soon after conception.  A woman's body increases in estrogen that signals the pituitary gland to produce prolactin, which is a hormone that starts the lactation process.  Once the baby is born the abrupt decline in hormones triggers the pituitary gland to produce oxytocin to initiate lactation and produce breast milk.

Induced lactation without drugs is a growing practice for adopting or surrogate mothers to bring them naturally closer to their new baby.  Health researchers have now isolated the hormonal influences and basic metabolic events necessary to induce a woman to produce the perfect food for a baby even if she has not recently given birth.  This knowledge now allows many women to experience one of the most natural joys of motherhood.

Natural stimulation to bring the breast milk to the surface is typically required in preparation for nursing the child. Physicians suggest to women at the end of their second trimester to begin stimulating their breast through natural methods to induce lactation and to over come tenderness in the breast.  Here are a few natural methods in preparation of natural lactation and breast feeding:

1. Nipple massages - while in the shower or bath use a light wash cloth to toughen the nipples and clear away any harden tissue. Lightly rub the nipples in a circular motion with the warm soapy wash cloth. Do this frequently before and after the baby is born.

2. Nipple stimulation - Stimulating the nipples in preparation for inducing lactation without the aid of drugs is one of the most effective methods. This process usually begins the first month of the last trimester. Simply use a breast pump to stimulate lactation. Another method using a spouse or partner to suckle your breast as an infant would to induce lactation without drugs is also a great way to bring the beast milk to the surface.

While this process is possible in all pregnant women, however this natural way to induce lactation without drugs is often used on women that are not pregnant.  Non pregnant lactation for a woman who wishes to breastfeed her adopted child is the standard practice advised for women planning on adopting or being a surrogate mother to an infant.  Most often this chore is meant to bring the adoptive mother and new infant closer, through a natural process of the maternal bond of breast feeding.

Organizations like the Le Leche league and the Mayo clinic as well as other surrogate mothering programs in third world countries were infants lack nutrition, initiate the lactation process in the adoptive or surrogate mothers.  In this case induced lactation is necessary and quite simple.

Most often induced lactation done by pregnancy simulation in women who haven't experienced pregnancy is the normal practice.  Non pregnancy induced lactation is done by introducing birth control pills in high dosages, which simulate the naturally high concentration of hormones during pregnancy.  This activates the production of Prolactin to start the lactation process.   Then the woman is abruptly taken off birth control to simulate the abrupt decline in hormones to trigger the production of oxytocin.  This offers the same natural effect pregnant women experience after child birth.

Once the pregnancy simulation process is complete, using natural stimulations such as nipple massages, breast pumps or their partner to induce lactation without drugs is standard.  New adoptive mothers especially enjoy this method since it builds the mother child bond most natural mothers' experience through breast feeding.  But there are draw backs to this procedure.

One of the major draw backs of induced lactation is most surrogates or adopting mothers rarely produced the same quantity of breast milk as a new mother immediately following child birth.  Although this presents a problem in terms of infant nutrition, experts who are proponents of induced nursing at the Mayo Clinic and Le Leche League believe that it's not the quantity of breast milk that strengthens the bond between mother and child but the action of breast feeding.  Therefore the focus is more on the building the closeness rather than nutritional merits associated with breast feeding.

Breast feeding your child whether though naturally produced lactation methods or stimulated induced lactation are both drug free methods of induced lactation that are much safer for the infant and the mother.  Learn more about surrogate methods of inducing lactation without using drugs, by going online or contacting a surrogate birthing clinic.



2/2/2010 8:42:55 AM

            Rules To Fellow


Rule #1: Megan's Slut Bitch Bella must be naked at home when Bitch is alone.

Rule #2: Megan's Slut Bitch Bella wears a bra when Mistress chooses to let Bitch.

Rule #3: Megan's Slut Bitch Bella has to be dressed and put makeup properly in the public.

Rule #4: Megan's Slut Bitch Bella only allowed sexing a guy/gal once a month but permission required.

Rule #5: Megan's Slut Bitch Bella must masturbate every night thinking of Mistress and kissing her pussy.

Rule #6: Megan's Slut Bitch Bella only allowed peeing 7 times a day and 5 in a day light and two in dark.

Rule #7: Megan's Slut Bitch Bella only allowed to use tampons and must rub Bitch clit every time Bitch changes them.

Rule #8: Megan's Slut Bitch Bella never to question her mistress's orders as this will result in severe punishment or possible suspension of Bitch orgasm privileges.


1/31/2010 11:09:31 PM

My best experience of submission only I have been collared by an Indian Mistress Maam Prema http://www.collarme.com/personals/v/734294/details.htm. She instructed me to pee only once a day and only at 8am in the morning and if I miss to pee at 8 am early in the morning then I have to wait till next day. Once I forget to awake up early in the morning I was in a late night party on Sunday and I awake up last on Monday morning at 9 am I was also been late for my work I drink a glass of milk and ruin down the office my bladder are already filled up full and I am feeling the pressure and a bit of pain my pussy is been so wet and my panty is been so wet and soaked with the wet but the pressure and pain gives me a lot of pleasure and I enjoyed it though I am unable to move so freely. This is that my best experience of my Submission.


1/30/2010 12:03:00 AM

CONTRACT OF CONSENTUAL OWNERSHIP

I, Donna Jenniffer XXXX registrant with number 521-421-107on slave register, born on July 16, 1979, herein after referred to as slave, do of my own free will, and being of sound mind and body, do hereby offer myself in consensual slavery Mistress Megan XXXX, herein after referred to as Mistress Megan XXXX.

Provisions of Contract:

· This Contract is forward to any domme any time by Mistress Megan XXXX, Slave must be willing to be trade to any age , ethnicity or sexuality.

· Slave must have to register in slave register TSR. www.slaveregister.com . And all memo have to be directed to Mistress Megan Brown XXXX mail box.

· Slave agrees to obey and to submit to the best of her ability, and to devote herself entirely to the pleasure and desires of Mistress Megan XXXX

· Slave accepts Mistress Megan Brown XXXX as her owner and knows that by agreeing to this, she gives up all powers of choice and decision.

· Slave renounces all rights to her own pleasure, comfort, or gratification except insofar as permitted by Mistress Megan XXXX.

· Mistress Megan Brown XXXX accepts full responsibility of slave.

· Mistress Megan Brown XXXX shall endeavor to learn what excites slave through exploration and communication and try to incorporate this into the relationship.

· Slave agrees to answer any and all questions asked by Mistress Megan Brown XXXX freely, promptly, and to the best of her knowledge.

· Slave agrees to inform Mistress Megan Brown XXXX of her wants and perceived needs, recognizing that Mistress Megan Brown XXXX is the sole judge of whether or how these shall be satisfied.

· Slave understands that any infractions or acts that may displease Mistress Megan Brown XXXX will result in punishment.

· Mistress Megan Brown XXXX agrees to furnish slave with a symbolic token of ownership. slave agrees to wear this symbol at all times.

· If a piercing or tattoo is required by Mistress Megan XXXX, then it is to be done by a professional.

· Slave has no limits and absolves Mistress Megan Brown XXXX from any injuries - mental or physical - which may occur to slave.

· Slave does not have any safe words.

· Slave will not seek any other dominant or lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without Mistress Megan Brown XXXX permission.

· This contract may be terminated at any time by Mistress Megan XXXX, but never by slave.

· Upon acceptance of this contract, slave will herein after be known as “Mistress Megan Brown XXXXDonna ”

slave’s signature:

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to give everything to Mistress Megan XXXX, and further accept her claim of ownership over my physical body. I understand that I will be commanded and trained and punished as a slave, and I promise to be true and fulfill the pleasures and desires of Mistress Megan Brown XXXXto the best of my abilities. I understand I cannot withdraw from this contract.

Signature:

Donna Date: 28-01-10

( Slave Donna )

Mistress Megan Brown XXXXsignature:

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this slave as my property and to care for her to the best of my ability. I shall provide for her security and well-being and command her, train her, and punish her as a slave. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree no harm shall come to the slave as long as she is mine. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time.

Signature:

Megan Date: 28-01-10

Mistress Megan Brown XXXX


12/27/2009 8:03:25 AM

FIRE PLAY   

 

Many People think wax play is a fire play but they dont know wax and fire play are two different types of play here are some i wrote this entry for give knowledge  and to gain some from other if any one know more tips of fire play please share with all of us in the Community.  FirePlay is clearly not a beginner's adventure. It falls into the realm of Edge Play. This meaning it is something to learn from one who has demonstrated experience with the materials. Just the nature of some of this play and a single wrong move or position can create a dangerous if not tragic outcome.It is wise to have a second person standing by to do Fire extinguishing so the Dom can stay focused on the submissive care should things get unwieldy.Reading about this is a beginning. But learning first hand from a Master/Mistress and gaining many hours of practice with the materials, are prerequisites to any play with people. This enter is from a handout of a demonstration that was done in 1999 in a local class in Houston. The "Playtime" portion of this outline was a live demonstration.



OUTLINE TERMS

Baton Bouncing Cupping Flash Cotton Leather Rounds Streaking Torch
STYLES
Cupping Streaking Flash Cotton

SAFETY PREPARATION


SAFETY MATERIALS

Alcohol Type Drop Cloth Fire Blanket Fire Bucket Fire Extinguisher Water Reserve
AREA PREPARATION
Drop Cloth Layout Minimum Materials
MAKING THE TOYS
Torches Flash Cotton Pullout
PLAY TIME
Cupping Streaking Flash Cotton
CLEAN-UP
Reuse of materials Storage of materials
 

     Terms Used In Fire Play

Baton: A wooden rod, with cotton batting on the end used to light an area or hold a flammable liquid. Also called a torch.
Bouncing: The act of striking a lighted torch against an object depositing a small amount of the flammable substance on the object being struck.
Cupping: An ancient form of massage. Using a vacuum, the skin is drawn up into a vessel and thereby stretched and massaged.
Flash Cotton: A magicians trick using very flammable cotton. Burns very quickly, very intensely, and completely.
Leather Rounds: Round pieces of leather used for various purposes.
Streaking: Using an unlit torch to deposit flammable liquid on an object and then lighting it.
Torch: A rod with cotton batting on the end, made be made of any non-conductive substance. Used to hold the flammable as it is lit.
Vessel: A glass jar, heat resistant and not easily broken or cracked. Should be clear or lightly colored.

              
Styles of Play

Cupping: A leather round is placed on the area of skin to be cupped. A loose area works best with least bruising but the sensation is more intense with tighter skin. A cotton ball soaked in isopropyl alcohol, 70% is best, is placed on the round and then lit.
Once the alcohol is burning fully, a glass vessel is placed over it quickly. Delay in placement can cause the edge of the vessel to become hot and then burn the skin. Once the vessel is placed, the flame will use up the oxygen and cause the skin to rise to replace it. The intensity of the sensation is dependent on the type of alcohol used, the shape of the vessel; one that begins small and gets bigger inside is most intense, and the duration it is left on. The vessel is removed by gently releasing the pressure with a finger tip on the edge of the vessel and allowing air inside.
Streaking: Using two torches held in the same hand, one lit, one unlit, a line of alcohol is laid down on the skin. This is then allowed to sit for a moment and begin to evaporate, then it is lit. It is allowed to burn dependent on the amount that was laid down; more can burn longer, and the response of the submissive. It is extinguished using the hand not holding the torches. Should the hand catch on fire, simply smoother it in the fire blanket or if only a small amount, wave it quickly and it will go out Be certain to keep the lit torch as the upper one while you are holding them or else you may end up with TWO LIT TORCHES.
Bouncing: Using a lit torch, the skin is struck sharply with the torch, causing alcohol to be deposited and lit at the same time. This should not be left on very long as the alcohol is very thin and burns the skin very easily.
Flash Cotton: Cotton used by magician to make large flashes. It must be pulled out to a thin "haze" in order to be used on the skin. It makes very spectacular displays and can be used to make designs. It can also be used to burn the skin in patterns. Using previously pulled out cotton, lay it gently on the skin, DO NOT press it down as this can cause a burn, and light on end. The fire will travel to the other end. You can make spirals or any design. Most effective in a darkened room, hence the term "flash"
cotton.

Safety Preparation

Please note:
You will be setting a Human Being on fire.

This is an inherently dangerous practice and SHOULD BE PRACTICED MANY MANY TIMES on glass tables tops and other non-flammable objects before being considered for actual practice. Both the Dom and the submissive you see performing here today have practiced Their/their techniques, yes the Dom has required the submissive practice doing this also, for a long time before doing it even on themselves and only after this did they do it on each Other/other.
             
Safety Materials

Alcohol Type: Use only 50% or 70% alcohol. 70% is more difficult to control and burns hotter.
Drop Cloth: Use a Fire Retardant drop cloth to cover the table or floor that the submissive will be laid on. This helps keep the fire from spreading should an accident occur.
Fire Blanket: Used to smoother the fire, any large, cloth item such as a large bath towel will work, but it MUST BE COMPLETELY INTACT. Any hole or weak spot in it could allow air to the flames.

Fire Bucket: ---------------------\
Fire Extinguisher: -------------- any or all of these should be available. But at least one.
Water Reserve: ------------------/

               Area Preparation

Drop Cloth: Lay out the drop cloth to cover any flammable surface within reach of the fire.
Layout: The fire blanket should be laid so that it can, in one smooth motion, be pulled to cover the submissive to the greatest extent possible. This allows for easy smothering of the flame.
Minimum Materials: Fire Blanket, Drop Cloth, Torches, Extinguisher, Alcohol, Cupping vessels, Leather rounds, Cotton balls, Flash cotton, Submissive that enjoys extreme sensation, Dom/Domme that enjoys giving extreme sensations.

Making of Toys

Torches: The torches are made using a wooden doweling rod, this is slipped or hammered into a copper coupling for strength and fire retardant. It is then wrapped with cotton batting and secured with cotton string. YOU MUST USE 100% COTTON STRING or else your torch may fail with disastrous results. The batting should just cover the coupling. The other end may be wrapped in "vet wrap" or some other tape in order to assist in gripping the torch.

(Demonstration)

Flash Cotton
Pullout: Flash cotton must be pulled out very thin in ALL directions before use. This helps prevent extreme temperatures which can easily burn skin.

(Demonstration)

Clean-up

Reuse of materials: Unused alcohol should be poured back into the bottle. The used torches should be air dried. If this is not possible, put them in baggies and air dry them at home, but be warned you are making a possible bomb when you do this so DO NOT COMPLETELY CLOSE THE BAGGIE. Take them out immediately after returning home and air dry them away from flame. The leather rounds should be air dried and the used cotton balls thrown away or if possible, allowed to burn out then thrown away.

Storage of materials

Store all glass in a way that it will not be impacted. All glassware should be inspected before each use by both the Dom/Domme and the submissive. Toys and all flammables should be stored away from ignition sources.


11/8/2009 11:25:10 PM

Pride and Punishment

Pride: ...a reasonable or justifiable self respect.

During a recent all Dominant gathering a comment was
offered regarding the 'stripping of pride' as part of
punishment for a submissive. The comment
disturbed me and has lingered in my mind.
There are many aspects to pride, some good and
 some bad. However, I have a pervasive belief that
 pride is important. A healthy person takes pride
in appearance, action, accomplishments, their
home, their children, their country etc.

Self respect is crucial for a submissive. So often I
am confronted by broken people who believe that
all that is left is the submissive. This analysis always
stuns me. To me the submissive is not the residue of
a life's battering, but the slow pure revelation that
occurs in the heart and soul. It is the acceptance
and meshing of all aspects of the self. When a
 person is at their peak, strong, healthy, happy,
competent, assured, stable...and they can then
reach within themselves to offer their essence freely
 to another, that is the action of a submissive.

A lack of self respect suggests a lack of respect for
 others too. If you cannot value yourself enough to
 make positive healthy choices in your life, then you
 are demonstrating poor mental health. This is
 usually visible through slothful habits, depression,
drugs, alcohol, obesity, bankruptcy, violence and
abusive situations in the home, or out of control
children among others.

D/s or the BDSM realm is not a system to rescue
 the victimized. At its core it requires hard and life
threatening choices. If your faculties are impaired
then that 'consent' is invalid. For those exiting
 traumatic relationships or situations I suggest taking
 the 'years' necessary to re-gather the controls in
your life prior to venturing as a newcomer
submissive into the lifestyle. BDSM requires
 strength, both physical and mental. It requires
health, both physical and mental. It requires
commitment, on levels and to issues more difficult
than those confronted in the larger world.

Punishment is not to diminish a person but to direct
 their actions in appropriate ways from the
Dominant's perspective. It should be noted that the
 objective is to have a positive outcome.
Destruction is not positive. Punishments should be
based on activities the submissive dislikes, in
general this is usually a level of attention removal.
A Dominant can show displeasure and direct the
submissives attention toward what needs changed
most effectively by using variations on this technique.
A healthy submissive wants to please the Dominant,
and most often will self-punish when s/he feels they
have failed them.

I will note one further aspect which appears from
the outside to be tricky. Some submissives desire
 and need to feel and be humiliated. This appears
 contradictory to what I said before, it isn't. The
 action of humiliation and degradation employed
during scene between a Dominant and submissive is
 not punishment. For those most often participating
in this aspect of BDSM it is a very real part of their
need and pleasure. It is the action of the Dominant
focusing time, energy and attention on that
submissive in the manner agreed to as part of the
range of play. Punishment is the removal of that
which summons pleasure and joy. A submissive
 being punished should not be in scene in any form.
Play or the giving and sharing of attention is the
reward for accomplishment.


8/20/2009 12:04:16 AM

Dominissive/Switch 

Note : Read Switch before read this entry :

Dominissives/Switches are ordinary, everyday people.  Dominissive/Switch can be female or male.  They can have a job where they'll follow orders and the job is very demanding, they can have a very demanding high paying job where they are in charge (Dominate), they can have a run of the mill type job, they can be wives or husbands, moms or dads, grandmothers or grandfathers, daughters or sons, etc.  Some Dominissives/Switches think there is something wrong with them because they have a need to both serve and be served or need to have someone submit to their control as well as be controlled, and/or a need to give some sort of physical pain (erotic pain or real pain) and need to feel some sort of physical pain (erotic pain or real pain). 
Some will spend their life hiding/suppressing their need and try to be "normal."  Some will even train themselves to never reveal or give in to what they need.  What they don't realize though, the more they try to suppress the need/desire/want, the more the need/desire/want grows.  For some reason a large percent of Dominissives/Switches have both a loud/quiet, aggressive/non-aggressive often humorous persona keeping their Dominissive/Switch need buried inside where it is safe.  Yet their thoughts/dreams/fantasies are usually about tying someone up or being tied up, spanking someone or being spanked, having someone serve them or serving someone, and/or do things that cause sensations and/or erotic pain to someone or having someone cause sensations and/or erotic pain to them (being the prison guard taking advantage of the female prisoners like they have seen in movies, and the female prisoners take over and make the guards theirs, for example) or they want to capture a slave and force them to do things, or be the one capture and be forced.  Deep down inside, the desire to do both Dom/me and submissive continues to stir.  
All too often Dominissives/Switches attract or somehow seek out those that have been abused in their past.  They find themselves giving/getting the physical or verbal pain, but in an inappropriate way, that usually is not loving but often disguised as love.  They will find themselves torn between giving/getting what they want to give/receive, even if it is not totally how they want, but it's better than not being able to control/be controlled at all.  People around them often see the abuse or the extreme lengths their friend/relative is going through or worse yet see the Dominissive/Switch (their friend/relative) as the one being abused.  The people around them may even try to interfere or protect them, but in the end those that get involved will end up the enemy, on the outside being kept at arm's length or never spoken to again by the Dominissive/Switch for getting involved. 
Some Dominissives/Switches have convinced themselves to resist being controlled or have convinced themselves to resist allowing themselves to control another, or to give or receive erotic pain, bottom line they are not being a Dominissive/Switch. 
Dominissives/Switches seem to fall into the trap of which do I want to be, Dom/me or submissive.  They may have insecurity, they may withdraw and possibly thrown into the mix as well is the rational that they can never be a Dominissive/Switch and be happy, or the worst one-- I'll never find anyone that will accept me liking both.
To truly take control of your Dominissive/Switch wants/needs/desire is extremely hard to do.  Best advice I can offer is to go slow, embrace the new direction in your life of both taking control and being controlled.  In the beginning you will feel like all you do is fail or do whatever it is wrong.  You will most likely crash and burn with each failure, but you never have the nerve to share the failure with your Dom/me or submissive.  You will often get mad at yourself and push yourself harder than you should to try to convince yourself there is nothing wrong with wanting both.  The Dominissive/Switch needs to avoid the urge to run away or end the relationship.  Don't give up, each day that passes things will get better.  In the beginning you will feel the need for constant reassurance from your Dom/me and submissive.  Hopefully over time you will find a balance to both your Domming and submissive sides.  Don't let your Dom/me or submissive set up expectations that you know nothing about or you don't have time to do, that will make you feel like you have failed most likely upset you and possibly make you want to withdraw.  Do not withdraw, that only makes your Dom/me upset that you are locking them out and your submissive insecure and more clingy and needy.
If you can, try to avoid those vanilla ingrained knee jerk reactions that thrust you into turmoil, it doesn't' mix well with being a Dominissive/Switch.  Try to avoid finding fault in your submission and dominance.  When the Dominissive/Switch is having a hard time meeting the needs and demands of being both a submissive and a Dom/me they should try to focus on what makes them happy with their Dom/me and submissive.  Try to focus on the fact that you can't live without the happiness, joy, closeness, servitude, etc. that being with both a Dom/me and submissive gives you.  You might try focusing on one act/behavior of your submission that gives you great joy, happiness, etc.  Some Dominissives/Switches will bring up a memory of how they dress, how they sit, how they kneel, how they serve a meal, you get the idea.  Some Dominissives/Switches will focus on their submissive's happiness, love and care, which in turn makes them calm, relaxed and grounded again.  With effort and determination (and probably both your Dom/mes and submissives help) you will find the balance of things that seem so overwhelming right at that moment.
A Dominissive/Switch-Dom/me and submissive relationship is an unbroken circle around them all.  Within this unbroken circle there is give and take from all sides, it is not about being selfish, it is not just sexual aspects, it is about commitment, trust and love.
Something a Dominissive/Switch can never do is not take responsibility for their domination or submission or actions.  You are responsible, for example, for taking care of your health (you get the idea), you are responsible for doing things as safely as you can to avoid injury, you are responsible for keeping trust, you are responsible for keeping commitments, and you have to remember all actions have consequences.  Dominissives/Switches it is your responsibility to know how an item physically feels BEFORE you use it on your sub.  This can be accomplished by having a experienced Dominissive/Switch/Dom/me use an item on you for 10-15 minutes or more, varying the intensities or it can be accomplished by you being a bottom/sub/slave in play/relationship.  If you aren't willing to have it done to you so you have a starting physical intensity point/marker, then you shouldn't be doing it to someone else.  Bottom line- As long as you have experienced the varying physical intensities, which shows responsibility and care for your sub, it doesn't really matter which route you choose to get that physical feeling/intensity knowledge.
Dominissive/Switches remember you aren't a mind reader.  If there is something your submissive wants/desires, etc. tell them they must tell you (in a respectful manner of course) or let them write it in their journal.  You also must remember your Dom/me isn't a mind reader.  If there is something you want/desire, etc. tell them (in a respectful manner of course) or write it in your journal.  Remember COMMUNICATION is what keeps things going along the right path.  Stop communicating and things will come crashing down around you, and you will have to work extremely hard to get the trust going again.  Yes you can rebuild trust, but it is a long hard road and must be done with honesty and commitment from both sides.
Dominissives/Switches need to feel they are doing the right thing, and are helping/serving their Dom/me as well as taking care of/helping their submissive.  Dominissive/Switches need to feel they are not abusing their submissive or being abused by their Dom/me.  Dominissive/Switches search until they find the correct Dom/me and submissive for them.  The Dominissive/Switch that agrees to take a Dom/me and a submissive as life partners will take control and give control of varying degrees over different aspects of their life. 
Some Dominissive/Switches aspire to be both the best submissive as well as the best Dom/me.  There is no right or wrong way to be a Dominissive/Switch.  Being a Dominissive is an art.  It goes far beyond just being served or serving, training a submissive or being trained, or punishing or being punished or rewarding or getting rewarded.  The Dominissive/Switch immerses themselves as deeply as they can into being both a submissive to make their Dom/me proud as well as a Dom/me to nurture their submissive.  It is mental, spiritual, and physical, not just a means to arousal.


8/19/2009 10:45:54 PM

SWITCHES

 Note :This entry is epically for those Women who think they are Dominatrix but they like submissive girls and Dominant men why don’t they be true to themself and with other I think they should face the reality.

The Switch. Adding this component into understanding of the community is often similar to adding a dose of confusion or chaos. In addition, many within the on-line community have chosen to malign people who identify themselves as switches and they tend to be made to feel uncomfortable within the two easily identified groups of Dominant's and submissives. This is unfortunate and very wrong. When any group becomes polarized or elects to ostracize or exclude people who express themselves differently they inevitably weaken the whole. Being a Switch does not make the individual any less a member of the community. There is some evidence that the Switch community may actually be the largest and fastest growing segment of the community. It is perhaps the carryover from the swinger community of players. It is true that within the real life community that a large percentage of both Dominant's and submissives have at some point switched orientation. There is also a tendency, primarily in the online community, to believe that a Switch is not a Dominant or submissive at all but instead a Top or a bottom. While this is true sometimes, it is not true all the time.
In general a Switch can be looked at in three ways. A Dominant/Switch, a submissive/Switch and a split/Switch. The vast majority of Switches fall into the first two of these three groups. The individual will have a primary orientation of either Dominant or submissive and a secondary orientation of the opposite. This means simply that they tend to express the majority of their personality or aspects in either the Dom role or the sub role. Many Switches are lifestyle BDSM people with strong belief's, feelings, hopes, desires and dreams, just like everyone else. Often Switches will live with or be happily married to a D/s partner who may or may not be a Switch. They will spend the majority of their time in their primary orientation and the minority of their time in their secondary orientation.
In many ways coming to grips with or fully understanding the complexities of living as a Switch is perhaps one of the most challenging tasks in all of D/s. Making sense of the confusion coupled to a desire to belong somewhere forces many Switches into choosing one side or the other. There is a tendency to believe that being a Switch means that the individual has avoided being a Dominant or submissive, that they may be weak, afraid or lacking in personal conviction. As if there is a rule somewhere that says you must be totally Dom or sub or you cannot be part of the community. Choosing or naming yourself something that does not fully address your reality is a recipe for future problems and extensive personal grief.
If you attempt to force yourself into performing as just one side or the other then a part of your self will remain unaddressed. Eventually this can lead to bursts of energy release that can be enormously destructive. In some cases the individual may be with a person who believes that their secondary aspect needs to be destroyed. This can lead to language such as breaking. Attempting to rid a submissive/Switch of their Dominant aspect through breaking is fundamentally wrong. Mental and emotional battery designed to destroy a part of another human is absolutely wrong, cruel, non-consensual and most often reveals weakness within the perpetrator than anything else. The need to break someone is usually driven by fear of that aspect.
A Dominant/Switch who attempts to hide or mask their desire and need to occasionally experience the opposite of their Dominant role may actually transfer personal frustration onto the submissive they are with. This can manifest as momentary episodes of lack of control, verbal abuse, emotional abuse and even physical non-consensual abuse or battery.
Maintenance of good mental and physical health are essential in preventing these types of destructive events. This is done through healthy choices. It is all about keeping a balance, addressing all sides and attempting to neglect or ignore nothing. Being honest about your needs is essential.
Switching from one role to another is not simple. In many ways it can feel like moving from bright daylight into total darkness, everything needs to adjust. Adjustment takes time. And, being able to shift back at will doesn't come instinctively or easily for many people. This is especially true if a person has denied freedom for their Switch side for a long time due to attempts to 'fit' into one of the more acceptable roles. In a sense the Switch aspect can fear future denial and attempt to cling on or maintain itself.
Learning how to move easily and comfortably between both roles takes time, a sense of personal understanding, emotional security, and a lack of fear in how either side will be viewed and interacted with by those who are important in the individual's life. Anything that impairs this sense of personal security can make the Switch aspect feel threatened and defensive.
It is my personal opinion that all humans have contradictory sides which in most cases they attempt to hide thorough fear of appearing weak or too strong. Failure to be open and honest about these sides leads to secrets, closed communication and feelings of personal frustration. That can in turn lead to destruction of relationships.
The third type of Switch is a split or neutral Switch. Essentially the individual does not appear to favor either a Dominant or submissive role but can openly and freely enjoy both or express both, also moving between roles with no apparent difficulty. I have found this type of Switch to be far less common. The majority of these types of Switches tend to identify themselves as Top's and bottom's. They prefer to have relationships which are quite similar to standard vanilla relationships in levels of equality and sharing and express their passion for D/s and BDSM almost exclusively in-scene.
There are no right or wrong to where you may find yourself within the community. Traditionally Dominant's were trained first as submissives in order to show them through personal experience all aspects of the lifestyle. Moving from one aspect to another is not uncommon and many believe that a full range of experience is the best way to learn about your opposite. Living as a Switch brings with it the full challenges of both sides of the coin. Expect to struggle, expect to change more. Enjoy!

Donna Jenniffer  Slave


8/18/2009 6:39:19 AM

A small bit of history of the female orgasm: 

Hippocrates a Greek physician born in 460 BC known as the "Father of Medicine" believed that women must always be kept sexually satisfied or she could not procreate.  Aristotle born in 385 BC in Greece.  He studied under Plato and became a sex educator in antiquity.  Aristotle came along and disagreed with Hippocrates.  This began the up and down hell for women.  The middle ages church supported repressing women's sexual satisfaction.  The 18th century continued by banning female pleasure.  In the 1840's William Acton  wrote that women had no need for sex.  "The Madison Institute Newsletter”, Fall 1894 wrote manuals for brides in how they were to lie perfectly still and not move, not moan or groan while having sex.  It took until post World War II for women and sexual freedom to begin moving forward and reclaiming it was okay to enjoy sex and have orgasms.  1948, 1953 and 1966 Masters and Johnson drew conclusion from Seymour Fishers "The Female Orgasm" finding that the greater a woman's feeling that love objects are easily lost or may disappear the less likely she is to attain orgasm.   Freud wrote that the vagina was the only part of a woman where an orgasm could happen and the clitoris was not a source for sexual pleasure.  Simone De Beauvoir wrote about sex for pure pleasure and the clitoris and its importance.  It took until the 1960's before it was finally acknowledged that women could enjoy sex just as men had all along and that women required different stimulation than men to have an orgasm.  Masters and Johnson say at least 25 to 30 percent of people in their 60's have intercourse at least weekly and the majority of women and nearly all men 50-80 are still having and wanting sex.  Today many feel that the quality of life is sexual satisfaction and good personal sexual health.

 

What is an orgasm for a woman?  

 

Orgasms are pretty hard to describe.  Sad fact is some women never have them.  10-15% of women can't get turned on or aroused.  15-20% have never had an orgasm or only had one by masturbation.  40% do not have orgasms by intercourse.  5% say intercourse is painful.  20% of women everything works fine but they simple have no interest.  The American Medical Association reports approx. 40 million women have some sort of sexual health problem.

 

The clitoris seems to be overlooked too often.  For a man to have an orgasm his penis needs to get an erection, same applies to a women clitoris.  When a clitoris is aroused to its fullest it can become twice its starting size.

 

The brain usually starts the arousal process.  This can happen from seeing a partner naked, hearing the partner talk sexy, the sexual fantasy in the brain, to tasting or smelling the partner's body.  Add a bit of touching playing/stimulating/foreplay with the breasts and the clitoris, this builds up tension inside, the orgasm releases the tension and brings on extreme pleasure.  Also pleasurable contractions are felt through the entire body- vagina, uterus, rectum, and bladder to name a few.  Yes it is possible through mental thought only to have the end result be an orgasm, one that is felt in your body.  FYI-30% or less of orgasms come from intercourse.  For most woman to have an orgasm with intercourse they need clitoral stimulation/foreplay BEFORE intercourse.  

 

Women's body take on physical change.  Blood coming to the clitoris, vagina, breasts and the nerve endings.  The muscles tightening in the body to cause the needed tension.  Some women fight the tension and won't let themselves get past that tension/edge resulting in them not having an orgasm.

 

Women can feel different types of orgasms, clitoral or vaginal.  Unlike the man's penis the clitoris is there only to provide women with sexual pleasure.  Back in the 1950's Kinsey reported that half the orgasms women obtain are from clitoral stimulation.  It is the woman's preference which gives her the most pleasure since neither type of orgasm is better than the other.  Women also have the ability to achieve multiple orgasms.  

 

There are two common types of multiple orgasms women usually have.  

 

Sequential multiples-  Orgasms that come close together (1-15 minutes apart).  Such as one during oral sex followed by one during intercourse.  

 

Serial multiples-  Orgasms that come one after the other.  (seconds apart).

 

Masters and Johnson said there are 4 phases to the female orgasms and that there is no beginning or end to each of these.  

 

Phase 1- Excitement.  Physical or psychological.  

 

Phase 2- Plateau.  Increased stimulation. 

 

Phase 3- Orgasmic.  Powerful contractions.  

 

Phase 4- Resolution.  Things returning to "normal."

 

What is an orgasm for a man? 

 

70% of men will ejaculate in less than 2 minutes after penetration.  50% of men aged 40-70 will have some degree of erectile dysfunction.  1 in 3 men prematurely ejaculate.  1 in 12 has a fertility problem and 1 in 6 couples have problems conceiving and 50% of those cases are because of the man's infertility.

 

Men's orgasms come from stimulation of the penis.  Muscle tension, erection of penis and nipples, swelling of the testicles, the scrotum tightens up.  Men too can have multiple orgasms, few do.  Men's orgasms also have phases.  

 

Phase 1- Sexual excitement.  Penis is filled with blood and erection is hard and firm.  Endorphins kick in.  

 

Phase 2- Plateau.  It is worth not having the quick release or rapid orgasm but rather wait for the greater one that you will get after an hour or two of arousal.  There are a variety of ways men can control and prolong reaching orgasm.

 

Phase 3- The Orgasm.  Usually can't be stopped once started.  Sometimes accompanied by ejaculation.  Seminal fluid builds up in the prostrate, blood pressure and heart rate increases, muscles begin contracting, the testicles draw up close to the body and penis begins a series of contractions, commonly 8 at about 8/10ths of a second and semen dribbles or shoots out (depends on the muscle conditions).  

 

Important part that you must remember orgasms do NOT have to have ejaculation.  Yes ejaculation orgasms and multiple orgasms do feel different.  Men usually aren't aware they can have multiple orgasms because they have been conditioned not to.  It is very easy for a man to not have the desire to have another one or claim it's too painful (this can be worked through) or have conditioned themselves to a period of rest between orgasms.

 

FYI-Some men (and women) complain about condom use and decreased sensitivity.  Also some men that have been circumcised have less or no sensitivity.  

 

When to seek medical advice and/or treatment.  Drugs, disease, illness and medication can affect orgasms.  If you have circulatory, nervous, or muscular illness or certain disease this can cause orgasm impairment.   Multiple Sclerosis can effect women's ability to have an orgasms or can cause difficulty in having orgasms.  Diabetes can affect the ability to achieve orgasms.  Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Hyperactivity can interfere or impair the ability to have orgasms.  Hormone balance can affect your ability to have orgasms.  Spinal cord injuries or paraplegics CAN still have orgasms it just takes longer and requires direct stimulation.  Just because they can't control the muscles doesn't mean the muscles don't work.  Experimentation will be needed to find what spots on the body will transmit the sensations.  So think of armpits, sides of the ribs and other body parts.  Some men will still be able to get erections, others will not, but they still can achieve an orgasm.

 

Regardless of if you are a man or a woman the goal should always be to achieve complete and satisfying orgasm(s).


8/18/2009 6:34:29 AM

Tips about Online BDSM

 Online BDSM

The Internet sure has become a popular place for people claiming to be Dom/me's, Submissive’s, Dominissive.  It also has become a breeding ground for wannabes and people that are into hurting others by claiming to be something they are not.  (Something not just limited to BDSM, but chat rooms in general).  Anonymity makes some folks a lot more bold than they would be face to face.  You have no idea if you are chatting or e-mailing a 12 year old, 60 year old, male, female, child.  To quote Philip Miller, co-author of Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns when talking about chat areas "where men are men and so are half the women!"
One of the things that gets tossed around in chat rooms, is that online is not real and others that say online is real, but more commonly “it’s the only way I can do BDSM”, i.e. they are married or in a committed relationship, hiding behind the monitor replacing Hustler magazine with hot “play” chat, seeing just how much they can get someone to do, or just out to see how many they can collect as “theirs” or “their one and only.” 
A few things to think about: There is a real person on the other end sitting at a keyboard.  Who are you to criticize, put down or make fun of someone involved in an online relationship?  If both involved are happy then that's all that matters right?  You of course are entitled to feel it's not real, it's not viable if no face to face actual real time experience is included.  If the people are game players, its a game.  If the people are cons or wannabes, then its not real.  If people are getting something rewarding from it, it feels real to them.
The majority of those online do not play in real life.  Yes you do have some that are toying with ideas before trying them out in real life, some that play or live it in real life and a few that are prominent in the BDSM community, just not the majority of those found online.  The largest number of those online are simply living out a fantasy or looking to have an affair.
Remember online they really don’t have to know how to handle a whip, how to tie someone up safely, etc.  That comes from real life hands on experience. So PLEASE keep it in your head that those online are not a good representation of the real world BDSM.  Also keep in mind that if you are seeking advice you should do so in real life as the majority offering their guidance and opinions haven't any real life experience.
If a person has been involved with BDSM in real life for any length of time, they will know about local BDSM organizations, a title of BDSM books, play spaces, munches and places to purchase BDSM toys/attire/books.

Real life is NOTHING like online.  Real life is much more rewarding.  In real life the person doesn’t go away when you walk away from your computer.
Do not rush meeting face to face, spend time talking, online, on the phone, web cam interactions, it may take weeks even months for both of you to feel comfortable.  If either is pushing to meet right away the first time you talk this might be a sign of moving too fast.
Lots of people never give out their real identity.  It is very common to have a name/nickname for the BDSM community and one for the rest of your life.  Some even have a separate phone number and address for BDSM community and another for the other part of their life.  Remember in this day and age it is common for people to only have a cell phone and not have a phone at home.  It is a very real threat to be outted and have your life ruined.  Don’t let someone guilt you into giving this information, especially when they try to manipulate this information from you claiming “everything I have learned about safe calls says you must give me this information otherwise you are hiding something.”  Asking for personal information like Drivers License Number, Social Security Number, credit card numbers, etc., should send up a red flag that this person might be trying to collect information for unlawful purposes.  If someone sends you (mail, e-mail or fax) a copy of such, it might not even be real.  They could be providing you with someone else's identification, have altered their own information or simply are an imposter.
Prevent Identity theft--Never give anyone your Social Security number, Drivers License Number, Credit card numbers, PIN numbers, passwords, etc.
References are they worth anything?  For the most part no.  Why?  Would the person you are asking for references give you someone to check with that would say they were someone not to be trusted? or didn't know a whip from artichoke?  No, they would be giving you a name of someone they have already gotten permission from (privacy) to back them up.  What if they are well known?  That really doesn't mean anything one way or the other (maybe they are good with self PR or some people like them or some people dislike them).  It's an individual thing when it comes to respecting someone.  Just because someone doesn't like another they may say unfavorable things about someone that does know their stuff and is a safe player.  You really need to make your own judgments and not rely on others perceptions.  It is easy to have an opinion about someone.  It is really easy to spread an opinion around (good or bad).  What one believes is the truth can become blurred very rapidly.  Someone jealous or hurt can say something just because they now dislike the person.  Remember that what you are hearing is just one persons perspective and prejudice.  Try listening to the person when they talk to you or others, do they sound like they know what they are talking about?  Does it match your expectations or wants about BDSM?  If the opportunity comes along at a play party, watch them play.  Does the person they are playing with look like they are enjoying themselves?  Do they look like they know how to use the toys?  Trust you instincts they've worked for you so far in your life.
Meeting for the first time is probably best at a
munch, restaurant, other public place or BDSM function.  Similar to how you would meet someone not into BDSM.  Since this is pretty low risk and only if you felt the need, would I suggest a minimal safe call.  Safe call-Where you set up ahead of time with a person that you will call and check in when you arrive and when you are in your car (or departing) on the way back home.  Follow up with the person you met to let them know you have arrive home safely. 
Playing for the first time alone (not at a BDSM dungeon—if at a BDSM function I’d set up safe calls just like meeting for the first time) you might want a more detailed safe call.  (Do you set up safe calls for non BDSM sexual encounters?  If no, then why do one now?
Safe calls- The concept is a good one, but the reality of it working well is not always easy.  Police are not interested in checking on someone from a call from your check in person just because you haven't checked in with them or you haven't answered your cell phone, or haven't answered the phone at where you are supposed to be, when called by the check in person.  Police see it as a wild goose chase.  Also anyone being the check in person might be required to become part of an investigation or testify in court.  If your check in person is not out to the entire world about their lifestyle then they are probably not a good choice for you to ask, you'd be outing them if anything happened to you.  With that in mind, the best I have been able to come up with:
~Let the person you are going to play with know you are setting up a person(s) to do check in calls with.  If they have a problem with it, don’t bother to meet them; it’s not worth the risk.
~Set up ahead of time with a person that you know that you will call and check in when you arrive, make sure they know how you are arriving.  If in your own vehicle they should know your license plate number and description of your car.  If you are arriving by plane, they should know dates of travel and flight information and what city, state you will be in.  What transportation you will be using on the other end and if you are staying at a hotel, all it's information.
~When you arrive call them, if you haven’t already given them the name/nickname of whom you are meeting do so now, give them if possible your current location.

~A second call should be made within the next hour once you are in the location you will be playing at.

~A third call should be made within a specific time period that you and the person you are calling agree to.  Example—within 3 hours of the second call.

~You should have set up in advance words that you can say that would communicate to the person if you are ok or you need help.  What if I am being forced to call and say I am okay? And what if the person is listening in on the call?  This will be a bit trickier so try setting up something as simple as a long ummmmmm or start your answer off with a code word such as "well", you could also try a long pause as a response to a question from your safety person.  Use your imagination for your code word for I am in trouble as well as I am okay.  BUT be sure you don’t set up something that is second nature to you and could be taken wrong by your safe person.
~Call your safety net person when you are in your car (or departing) on the way back home so they can stop worrying.
~Call them again when you are home.
Follow up with the person you met to let them know you have arrive home safely. 


7/28/2009 9:13:25 PM

Lactation

Lactation describes the secretion of milk from the glands Milk production can be "artificially"and intentionally obtained in the absence of pregnancy in the women. It is not necessary that the women has ever been pregnant, and she can be well in her post-menopausal period. Women who have never been pregnant are sometimes able to induce enough lactation to breastfeed. This is called "induced lactation". Women who have breastfed before can be able to re-start. This is called "relactation".This is how some adoptive mothers, Slave and also,some couples may use lactation for sexual purposes, usually beginning with a supplemental nursing system or some other form of supplementation,can breastfeed. There is thought to be little or no difference in milk composition whether lactation is artificially induced or a result of pregnancy.Lactation can be induced by physical stimulation and by drugs. In principle—with considerable patience and perseverance—it is possible to induce lactation by sucking on the nipples alone. The nipples may need to be consistently stimulated by a breast pump or actual suckling (several times a day), and the breasts massaged and squeezed ("milked") to encourage flow of any milk. Temporary use of galactagogue (milk-inducing) drugs is also effective; galactagogue herbs may also be of use. Once established, lactation responds to demand.

Tips For Inducing Lactation In Any Woman :

Inducing lactation is an artificial method of producing milk in a woman’s breasts. This option is usually considered if a mother is having difficulties producing milk on her own, adopting a baby or is using a surrogate mother to have a baby. Inducing lactation is a great boon for women who want to breast feed but cannot. Lactation can be induced by stimulating the nipple. This stimulation results in the increase in the hormone responsible for milk production. The hormone is known as prolactin. However, just having prolactin in the body is not sufficient to for milk production. Even the ductile tissue of the breasts has to be increased in size. This would explain the reason why women who induce lactation produce less milk. The reason is because they have fewer ducts compared to woman who goes through the process of pregnancy and childbirth.You can also induce lactation by taking medication. Many doctors might recommend taking Reglan or Domperidone. These two drugs increase the production of prolactin and it is believed that the side effects from these drugs are minimal.

Here are some tips for inducing lactation in any woman:
- Visit you doctor to discuss the various options open for inducing lactation. You should take the best possible option. If necessary, you can also contact an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant.
- You can stimulate your breasts by massaging it. Or you can stimulate the nipple manually or using a breast pump. If you are using a breast pump, it is best to use a hospital grade pump which is available a most local hospitals and drug stores.
- You can opt for taking drugs like Reglan or Domperidone to induce lactation. However, you need to consult your physician for this option.
- The other option of inducing lactation is to opt for hormonal therapy. Here, you will be injected with estrogen and once the estrogen reaches the required level, you will be injected with prolactin enhancing hormone which is start the milk production.

How To Force Lactation

 If you want to induce lactation, it is important to understand the way breast milk is produced. When a woman is pregnant, breasts get ready for lactation due to influence from hormones like estrogen, progesterone and prolactin. Because of the presence of these hormones, the body responds naturally and the ducts within the breasts increase in size.
After the woman gives birth, levels of estrogen and progesterone decrease dramatically while the level of prolactin increases, thus leading to lactation.
However, to force lactation without pregnancy, the level of prolactin has to be increased in the body and this is possible by nipple stimulation. When the level of prolactin increases, the brain is given a signal to release oxytocin, which allows the release of milk from the breasts.
 You can stimulate your nipples by manual stimulation of using a dual action breast pump. If you want to use a breast pump, make sure it is a hospital grade pump. You can even massage your breasts on a regular basis to force lactation.
If you want you can also use medication to induce lactation. Many women are known to use a drug named domperidone. This drug is known to interfere with the production of dopamine, which reduces the amount of prolactin produced by the pituitary gland.

Please if any one here know more about lactation please share with me and help me out for lactation


7/15/2009 1:06:50 PM

Blue Roses

Roses are quite prthe thorn) to pleasure (the rose) - or by further extension the marriage of the attributes of the rose as described above to the choice to wed these feelings to sensations, actions and behaviors which appear to be in opposition to the 'gentility' of the rose itself. In a sense, it is to embrace the paradoxical nature of S/m itself.

I was recently asked if I knew what the source of the 'blue roses' were that are given so commonly within the S/m community. (leather roses) The simple truth is that I don't think that I have ever asked about the source of the first blue rose, who made it or why. I do have some understanding of the subtle meanings that 'some' people invest in the blue roses.

Blue roses do not occur in nature, at least not in a natural way. The closest we tend to get are purplish roses or roses which fall within the lilac to almost black categories (living roses). If you were to receive an almost blue rose married, wedded, taped or in some way attached to a rose of another color that 'blend' is designed to convey the specific meaning of 'unity'.

Most blue leather roses are not completely blue. Often they are blue and white, or blue and black leather roses. These roses may be representative of the 'unity' or joining of the attributes of the rose to the leather community, they may represent the unity or joining of S/m to the leather community or may simply be used to identify someone who is connected to the S/m leather community.

It becomes important to remember that 'leather' within the community is fairly new (at least in its current form). The attraction to leather in this modern application can be loosely traced to the popularization of leather during World War I & II by such very sexy masculine garments as the leather flight jackets. This popularization continued when actors playing roles of 'counter culture' heros adopted leather as THE counter culture iconic symbol. If you look at photographs of James Dean - Elvis Presley you will find this theme reinforced over and over again. This outgrowth of counter culture identification often parallels the growth or height of the Old Guard movements when members of the gay S/m communities picked up on the controversial counter culture nature of the icons or may in fact have been the origination source of these icons underneath layers of societal masking.

Leather, of course, in its original (modern) functional usage was worn by aviators who sometimes flew open cockpit planes where durability and protection were necessary. The aviators wearing such garments immediately noticed the rather heady 'sexual' affect the jackets had on their amorous partners. Leather gear was also worn by the calvary, which later became the motorcycle corps. Again this gear was functional. In the case of the motorcyclists it was to prevent road rash when they crashed as well as protect the rider from 'stuff' in the air.

Outside of the leather garments you can find leather existing across the centuries as it relates to creating devices or implements associated with S/m. It is rather difficult to imagine a leather whip made out of vines or braided linen (as example). Although we have managed to turn almost everything into implements. Working leather has always been fairly simple and enormously effective. It is durable, attractive and sensual - perhaps because it is a 'skin' - something of a barbaric throwback to domination over other species sufficient to skin them and 'sport' their hides as a trophy. To wear leather is to have dominated that animal whose skin you now wear.

There has long been an urban legend within the S/m community that there exists a 'whip' which is made up of the skin of human male penis. How this whip (if it exists) came to be created, who and how those donations of human leather occurred I have absolutely no knowledge of. I do know that on occasion various 'animal' penis leather whips are purported to be made available on the 'black-black market' and that the attributes (beyond psychological) of such devices are the high quality and texture of these items. I relate these legends here to demonstrate the fascination that we appear to have in the 'edges' or extremes as they relate to this community. There is something elemental and quite primitive in the undertones of what S/m is, how it functions in our minds.

What is equally true and should not be forgotten here is that practices of S/m existed long before the turn of the last century with it's biker clothes, aviator jackets and cowboy cutaway pants. You don't need to like leather to be part of the S/m community. In fact, you can be a member of PETA and abhor the touch and feel of leather and still like to spank your partner. Leather is merely one aspect of S/m. Just as, you don't have to love to wear black or have a certain look etc. Many of us love leather, love black clothes, love the double take looks we receive when wearing black, the 'reaction'. Many of us enjoy stimulating 'reaction', finding it part of the hidden 'fun' we take in our life. But, all the black clothing and leather gear in the world doesn't 'make' us what we are. Who you are is on the inside, not on the outside. The outside is just window dressing.

I have one final thought to offer about the 'meaning' of blue leather roses. Most of these roses are black and blue, or black and blue and white. To me, I have always seen them as tongue in cheek references to light bruising. A way for one person to say to another, I have all these feelings for you AND I like S/m too.


7/7/2009 3:00:28 PM
Hi all women here Share your swallowing hints and tips with all the womens and girls who want to learn swallowing cum just post it to me and i put it here with you id . i started with me

donnajenniffer:Swallowing cum has never been an issue with me. It's something I've always enjoyed. He inserts his penis inside my mouth and puts it all the way in and then moves back and forth until he explodes in my mouth. I sometimes spit it into a glass and then drink it down. Sometimes I put his cum in my coffee cup; it's better than cream. I would never spit my man's cum out. That would be totally wrong and would make your Master think you didn't like it. The taste of cum is a bit different. However, it's not as hard to take as you think and if you really have a problem with the taste there's always mouthwash but I personally love the taste, the act ... everything about it. Swallowing makes me feel closer to my lover; spitting is something I would do with someone I didn't care about. I can't give any tips ... except, if you really want to please him, just do it! It will be just that much better for both of you. It's really not that bad

Paulain:I am a girl who love, love, loves the taste of my boyfriend's cum! The three best tips I can offer: (1) The flavor and texture of cum noticeably improve when he drinks 3 plus quarts of filtered water a day. (2) Have your guy rinse with plain water instead of washing with soap, so he'll be clean but won't smell like tallow soap or synthetic fragrance -- which are extremely rank smells that clash with his sexy natural aroma. (3) I treat myself to leisurely and generous sniffs of his hair, face, neck, his armpits, his balls, and under his balls. Really taking the time to smell him all over makes for an unbeatable olfactory smorgasbord that goes beautifully with the taste and smell of his cum. Smelling him is a very intimate and fun experience for both of us, and it stimulates the wild animal in me like little else


7/7/2009 11:29:22 AM

COMMAND STRUCTURES

Command: To exercise a dominating influence over, to have within your authority, power or control. To rule or govern. To have at one's immediate bidding or disposal.

Structure: The action of construction or building. Something having a definite or fixed pattern of organization.

Together they form an organized pattern or shaped ruling structure. To some extent all of us live under a variety of command structures. From the top you might consider your elective 'faith' to be represented by a governing body (God) who has presented a pattern of behaviors or actions which you are then 'commanded' by action of your belief in these actions to actively represent the 'desire' of the 'commander' (God) by complying with these commands. In this 'view' (God) becomes the dominant who commands via the 'instructions' or 'pattern' of his design - under the supposition that compliance to command or following these orders will result in a favorable relationship with (God) which will be 'rewarded' upon completion of the entirety of the pattern (death).

Second to this possible etheric structure you may have an interpretive or secondary command system comprised of a religious organization which is given the task and duty to interpret and disperse the 'detail of command' to all within the influence of that command.

Next you have your government with the President, at least structurally, appearing to be 'in command' with the rights and ability to dictate, have influence over, dominate, express power or control, rule and essentially govern your behavior, rights and privileges.

Following your government you would have your employer or supervisor. They exercise as many of these dominant rights as they can to direct and control your life.

Last you have your family. The structure within your family will alter and change over the course of your life as those who once enjoyed positions of power and control become dependent and within the authority and control of those they once ruled.

Not to be forgotten are the hidden controllers, these might be considered to be anyone or 'organization' which you owe money to. That exchange of money is in reality a contract within which you vacate your rights by some measure or degree, most often your working time, in exchange for the right or privilege of borrowing an unaccumulated or earned reward.

Within a D/s relationship you will find distinct patterns of command structure. Often these patterns are designed around familiar or at least marginally understood 'larger' already in existence designs. Generally the dominant will utilize familiar rituals to reinforce in the person they wish to dominate that they are the 'dominant' or that they are ruling, in control and 'must' be obeyed.

The problem occurs primarily when the dominant within this structure has only the broadest understanding of what ruling is. Often they will see the surface of ruling behavior as all that is needed to 'be' dominant, seldom considering the broad and much deeper implications of 'removal of choice' and 'acceptance of responsibility' for actions which result in unsatisfactory results.

Most good businessmen would tell you that managing other people in the work place is a dicey deal. It is complicated. People vary, what they think varies, how they feel varies, how they respond to stimulation varies. Allowing for these variables and having a reasoned well thought out 'plan' of action to address these variations is how the business tries to model with their employees sufficiently to produce the highest possible level of outcome. To do this, to manage people on a daily basis takes information, insight, and a good bit of luck. To gain the information necessary to create the management tools the businessman will go to specific management classes. They have to learn how to manage people, how to rule over their lives without resorting to destructive or damaging actions.

If you ask a dominant how many management classes they have taken, you will probably hear 'none'. After all, how hard is it to tell someone what to do? Well, it isn't hard to do for five or ten minutes. But it becomes hard over the course of days, weeks or months, particularly if the behaviors necessary to directing the actions of someone else are not natural. If you have been the 'governed' for the entirety of your life, you essentially have no real skills or tools which make you able to direct or manage others. You aren't 'born' with these skills. And, they don't magically come into existence through the desire to possess them. You can improve your understanding of what is 'fantasy domination' and what may work in real life by seeking out comprehensive books on management and relationships. You can attend workshops and seminars relating to management - business. You can even go back to school for some of these classes.

In the end, how successful you will be as a dominant will rely entirely on how well you grasp the dynamics and complexities of interacting with other human beings. If you are currently socially lousy, your odds are rather crappy. If you have trouble getting along with people, are subject to bursts of intense anger or loss of behavior control - you will not be a good dominant. Figure out who you are in reality, try not to be swayed by the 'fantasy dominant' illusions so common on the Internet and within some groups. For all beginning dominants out there, the real place to begin is by being a submissive or bottom. This is the school for S/m from the bottom up or the inside out. If you cannot utterly know and understand the person you wish to direct, then, in my opinion, you shouldn't be directing them. Human lives, feelings, thoughts, opinions and belief's are not yours to play with. Giving orders isn't enough.


7/1/2009 6:56:09 AM

Why You Should Swallow

It’s Tidy
Spitting is, quite simply, messy. Having a paper towel at the ready can help, but even then, you have a cum-soaked towel to dispose of. Same is true if he comes somewhere other than inside your mouth, there’s plenty of sticky jam to wipe up. Just swallow and there's no muss or fuss.

It’s Quick
Even if cum is unpleasant , the fastest way to deal with it is to swallow. Running to the bathroom to dispose of it or spitting it out on the spot will take more time, and be less efficient, than just swallowing it.
It Lets the Man Relax
If a man has to worry about coming, feeling that it is an imposition on the woman or the cause of unpleasantness, it creates tension while receiving the blowjob. He cannot fully relax, and cannot fully enjoy his climax. A woman who swallows both puts her partner at ease. Also, she can continue sucking through the orgasm, “sucking him dry”, which men find both physically and emotionally satisfying.
The Symbolism of Swallowing
In Western culture, swallowing has deep symbolic significance. The act of swallowing signals acceptance, blessing, and complete transformation. Imagine spitting out champagne after a toast or spitting out the wafer during communion. The insult and sacrilege would be overwhelming. In the same way, spitting out cum is a symbolic rejection to many men.
By swallowing, a
woman indicates complete acceptance. She wishes to consume, to commune with whatever comes from her lover. As she imbibes the cum, it becomes part of her, he becomes part of her. They are joined together in an intimate sacred bond like no other.
It's Polite
To quote one woman: "What sort of message does that convey to immediately run to the nearest sink to spit? I’m comfortable enough to get down on my knees and wrap my lips around your cock, but not comfortable enough to swallow the fruits of my labor? I know I’d be offended if my boyfriend ran to the bathroom to gargle with mouthwash after going down on me. So, sure I swallow. It’s almost impolite not to."
It's Environmentally Friendly
Leaving your spunk in public places just isn't right, whether you're dogging in the park or sucking the cinema. And wasting tissues and paper towels destroys trees and adds to our landfill problems. Swallowing is the ultimate form of environmentally-friendly recycling.
Is Swallowing Cum Safe?
Many people have questions about oral sex and disease transmission: Can you catch an STD from oral sex? Can get other diseases from swallowing cum? Will swallowing cum hurt you or make you sick? Is it safer to spit than to swallow? We'll attempt to demystify some of these issues.
First the Good News
Cum is an all-natural bodily fluid that doesn't harbor any diseases or harmful bacteria in a healthy person. The purpose of semen is to transport sperm to the female ova, and it is a high-protein, nutrient-rich medium designed to support and sustain the spermatozoa during their relatively brief journey. The sperm themselves also present no threat in the digestive tract, and are neutralized by gastric fluids by the time they reach the stomach.
If anything, swallowing the cum of a healthy male may in fact be
good for you, since it is a highly concentrated source of protein, minerals, natural sugars, and other nutrients. Healthy seminal fluid is mostly fructose and proteins, and doesn't contain any harmful chemicals. The slightly bleach smell of semen comes from its alkaline pH and minute traces of chlorine, but if it's mild enough for a vagina, it's not going to be any harsher on your mouth or throat.
Because the ducts and glands that produce the components of semen feed into the urethra, the same passage that carries urine out of the penis, cum may pick up some traces of urea or uric acid. However, these are harmless, as is healthy urine in general. The urinary tract of a healthy person contains only trace amounts of bacteria, and there are no substances in urine that are harmful to consume in the quantities excreted normally.
The Not-so Good News
The sort of good news is that swallowing your partner's cum will not put you at any greater risk for catching an STD. The flip side is that if your partner does have an STD, by the time you've had unprotected oral sex with them, whether you swallow or not, you've been exposed to whatever they're carrying.
Having unprotected oral sex (giving a blow job without a
condom
) is risky. Some of the disease that can be transmitted through oral sex if your partner is infected include herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis. The risk of HIV transmission through oral sex is still undetermined. Some experts say there is little to no risk of getting HIV through fellatio, while some say there is possible risk, especially if there are cuts or sores in the mouth of the person performing oral sex.
Because most of the STDs mentioned are transmitted through contact with sores or lesions on the genitals, or are present in the pre-ejaculate fluid (precum), a person performing unprotected oral sex on an infected partner has already been exposed even before their partner ejaculates. If your partner cums in your mouth, you may be exposed to additional quantities of STD pathogens in the semen, which can infect you through the mucous membranes in your mouth and throat or through small cuts or scrapes on the inside of the mouth. However, if you've already gone that far, swallowing the semen isn't going to put you at much additional risk. If anything, once the cum is in your mouth, swallowing may be the quickest way to get rid of it. Once you've swallowed, your digestive enzymes and acids will probably destroy any germs in the semen, and your stomach and intestines are not vulnerable to infection by STDs.
If your partner has cum in your mouth and you are concerned about STDs, you can minimize your risk by either quickly spitting or swallowing. The point is just to get the cum out of your mouth quickly one way or another. Then whether you've spit or swallowed, gargle and rinse your mouth thoroughly with a 3% hydrogen peroxide solution (the type available in drug stores for first aid). This will kill any germs in your mouth and throat and wash them out of cuts in the mucous membranes.
But It Made Me Barf
Although there is nothing in healthy semen that can cause illness, some people get nauseated or even vomit during or after performing fellatio. This is a result of the gag reflex being triggered and is not a cause for alarm. The gag reflex is a way that your body protects you from choking, and is activated when something - like the head of a cock -- touches the back of the throat, stimulating certain nerves. If the reflex is stimulated enough, it may cause involuntary vomiting. The gag reflex can be controlled by practicing relaxation techniques. If this is a persistent problem, you may want to try a different angle when performing fellatio.
Other people may become nauseated after swallowing semen for psychological reasons, or because they find the taste or consistency of the semen unpalatable. If you find oral sex or semen repugnant, addressing underlying psychological causes may be necessary. If the taste or consistency of the semen itself is objectionable, there may be dietary changes that your partner can make to
improve the flavor
of his spunk.
Unprotected oral sex, whether you swallow or not, is risky if you don't know your partner's health status. Oral sex without a condom, whether or not your partner cums in your mouth, can transmit several STDs, if your partner is infected. However, swallowing cum will never, in itself, give you an STD or any other disease, and swallowing does not significantly increase your chances of contracting an STD.
Cum Nutrition Facts

In this age of calorie and carb counting and required nutrition labeling on foods, everyone wants to know exactly what's in what they're eating. And of course, if you're going to eat cum, it's no different. Unfortunately, it's hard to find exact nutritional data for semen, but here's some information to help you figure out how cum fits into your balanced diet.
What's in Semen
Obviously, semen contains spermatozoa, but sperm accounts for only a small percentage of spunk. Cum is 90 percent seminal fluid, which is composed of dozens of chemical components. The base of seminal fluid is primarily fructose (sugar) and proteins, with many other trace minerals and substances. Here's a listing of some of semen's ingredients:

  • Sugars: Fructose, sorbitol, inositol
  • Proteins and amino acids: glutathione, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), creatine
  • Minerals: Phosphorus, zinc, magnesium, calcium, potassium
  • Vitamins: Ascorbic acid (vitamin C), vitamin B12, choline
  • Hormones: Testosterone, prostaglandins
  • Body byproducts: Lactic acid, urea, uric acid, nitrogen
Is Eating Cum Healthy?
Healthy semen (that is, cum produced by a well-nourished, disease-free male) may in fact be not only safe to eat, but actually good for you. Seminal fluid, the base of cum, is a veritable nutrient-rich soup. Semen is a source of highly concentrated, high-quality protein. In dietary terms, it's comparable to egg whites or gelatin.
Besides protein, semen contains high concentrations of some minerals, such as zinc, and trace amounts of other important nutrients, like calcium and magnesium. While you shouldn't depend on a shot of cum to get your recommended daily allowances of vitamins and minerals, swallowing semen on a regular basis can't hurt as a dietary supplement.
Will Semen Make Me Fat?
Although cum may look creamy and opaque, it contains very little fat, and few calories. One teaspoon of cum contains about 5 calories, and the average ejaculation produces about a tablespoon of semen, for a total of 15 calories. Because of the sugars in seminal fluid, we'd guess that it has a few carbohydrates, but considering the relatively small volume of semen per "serving" we'd guess the total amount to be negligible.
Given that cum is a high-protein, low-carb snack, you'd think the Atkins Diet people would be all over it by now. Plus, when you factor in the calories expended in performing
oral sex, chances are you're burning off much more than you're consuming. The only way that swallowing during a blow job will make you fat is if you cover your lover's dick with whipped cream and chocolate syrup.
Practice Swallowing
If you're uncomfortable with the idea of gulping down semen, or you've tried it and had a bad experience, being able to practice swallowing cum in a safe, relaxed environment may help. But how do you practice swallowing without actually giving head and getting a mouthful? We'll give you some tips on how to simulate a "dry run" complete with an ejaculation and faux jism. You can work at your own speed till you're ready to drink up for real. Special Sauce
First you'll need to whip up a batch of something suitably semen-like. While you could get your guy to wank off and jizz in a jar and practice with real cum, the consensus it that semen's taste and consistency degrade quickly once it leaves the body. So swallowing funky old spunk probably isn't going to do anything help you overcome any qualms.
There are a few different substances you could try using to make a semen stand-in. Plain yogurt is probably the easiest and most palatable. Tapioca pudding (though a little chunky) has a more accurate texture. If you can make if from scratch with less sugar and no vanilla flavoring, it's ideal. Canned condensed milk can also work. Mix in an extra pinch of salt to duplicate cum's salty flavor. Try 1/4 tsp. salt per 1/2 cup of yogurt or pudding. If you want to add an element of bitterness, crush a quarter of an aspirin tablet into a powder and mix that in (don't do this if you are allergic to aspirin or cannot take it due to other medical conditions). If you want an even more realistic texture, mix in a lightly beaten egg white. For some people, however, swallowing egg white may be more of a turn-off than swallowing semen. You also don't want to let the raw egg stand around for any length at room temperature, as the bacteria can cause food poisoning. Add a spoonful or two of hot water to get the right consistency.
Big Gulp
For the most realistic possible BJ simulation, the ideal accessory is an ejaculating dildo. These can be purchased in sex toy stores or online. They are like regular realistic dildos, but they have a reservoir for liquid and a hand pump to squirt it out of the cock head at the appropriate moment. Dildos are typically larger than the average male member, so don't panic if you have trouble accommodating it in your mouth. You're practicing swallowing, not necessarily fellatio technique. Load the ejaculating dildo up with your cum substitute. You might want to start with warm water to get the feel of it, but that will be more like a golden shower than a cum shot. Once you get the dildo loaded, get comfortable with it in your mouth. Try sliding it to the back of your throat and see if you can overcome your gag reflex. Hold the squeeze bulb in your hand and when you feel ready, let it rip with a quick squeeze. The salty, oozy goodness will flood your mouth. Remember that most guys don't shoot more than a tablespoon or two when they come, so don't go overboard. Give it another pump or two in rapid succession and you've just taken a simulated load. Did you get it all down, or did you spill a few drops? You might want to have a towel handy to catch any overflow. Once you've gotten the hang of the basic swallow, try swallowing in different positions, like laying on your back, or leaning over the cock (as if the guy was on his back). Experiment with positioning your mouth differently for taking the juice; see what it feels like in the back of your throat versus the front. Contrast multiple swallowing with saving it all in your mouth for one gulp. For an advanced practice technique, have a friend feed the dildo to you, fucking your mouth with it and shooting its load without a lot of advanced warning. You can also improvise some homemade ejaculating devices. The simplest, of course is a turkey baster. You can also use a squeeze bottle with a narrow tip (like for ketchup or mustard), or an unused medical syringe without the needle. To simulate a squirting cock, you can hollow out a cucumber and slide the loaded baster or syringe inside it. If you're talented and want to get fancy, you could whittle the shaft down and carve a cock head at the end. Fellate the cuke as you would a cock or dildo, then squeeze the baster bulb or depress the plunger to shoot in your mouth.
 Ready for Action
Once you've built up your confidence by practicing, you'll be ready to swallow the real deal. Remember that real life situations and real cocks can always be unpredictable. But by practicing your cum swallowing skills, you should be prepared to stomach real semen. Swallowing mouthfuls of slippery, salty goo, even if it is just doctored yogurt, can go a long way in helping you overcome the psychological barriers of gulping down your guy's cock cream.

6/28/2009 7:48:29 AM

TRAINING ~
Train - To instruct or drill in habits of thoughts, to shape or develop the character of an individual by discipline, command or principle given as a rule of general direction. A scheme to deceive or betray. Guile, trickery, treachery. To lure. Attract, persuade, win.
To be trained is to be shaped in a direction or path that is unnatural to the individual. You can view training as a series of instructions or commands issued toward an individual which are administered using the threat or infliction of a difficult or intolerable stimuli to force acceptance or adherence to the nature, shape or form of the instruction or command. As an example, plants are often 'force trained' into shapes or habits which are alien to their natural growth patterns, these forcible techniques are instituted almost entirely for the 'subjective pleasure' of the viewer having little or no benefits or advantages for the plant. This type of concept suggests that the individual is in some way inferior to the desirable ideal, this inferiority requiring this 'training'. It also suggests that the ideal is an 'unnatural' state requiring 'forcible' alterations to the habits, thoughts, character and even ethics of the individual in order to 'adjust' the individual to this new artificial presentation.
It has become common to use the concept of 'training' as a means of applying often severe 'acceptable' diminishment of the individual in order to 'help' the individual toward some elusive ideal of the 'perfect submissive'. This 'training' is also used to forcibly control the actions and behaviors of the individual being so 'trained'. The 'trainer' by eliciting 'pre-consent' to the actions of training attains 'permission' to violate the character, belief in self, ethics, moral structure and personal integrity of the individual. In this way the issue of consent is 'attended' to and the submissive is placed in a position of being responsible for or agreeing to the actions taken against them. Refusal to cooperate with the training command is then met with 'admonishment' retaining the submissive within the loop of 'this is good for you and you agreed with it training.' Long term or intense behavior modification techniques can be enormously destructive to the mental welfare of the individual. These techniques can act to strip away the individuals natural defenses while at the same time forcing a form of dependency upon the 'rule' or source of direction as the only path of non-assaultive movement. Further, the submissive may come to believe that their position or place is the only place where they can be. This type of training may force the individual into activities against their moral code, or make them accessible to being used for immoral, illegal or dangerous behaviors.
A person is not trained to become a submissive. If they are a submissive it is the true state of their nature. It exists without any accouterments, without contact with this community, without information or direction. It is the fundamental fabric of which the individual is made. It cannot be created or brought into being by forcible actions against them. If this fabric is not in current existence then it will not exist, regardless of the rhetoric or desires of other people to 'create' it. A submissive can enter this community and learn a new language to express the feelings and emotions they have always had. They can seek out further information to clarify what others think or view what submission is but in the end their experience of submission will be unique to who they are inside. It is possible to embrace skills that the individual has only thought about but never brought into reality but this is done from the inside out, or emerges from the will and desire of the submissive to express these skills as an extension of how they feel it is not something 'applied' to the submissive. Any submissive 'forced' into any action is inherently not consenting. Many people in long term relationships enjoy 'tension' between the Top and bottom where the illusion of non-consent has an active role in a scene. However, if at any time either the Top or the bottom truly believe they are acting against the true wishes of their partner then they will stop the scene. The simple truth is that to continue against your partner will destroy your relationship. If the relationship is healthy and of value then that is the last thing that a partner will do.
Since the advent of the Internet the BDSM community has also seen the sudden rise of 'Internet Trainers', Master's or Mistresses who make contact with new to the community submissives and new D/s couples proffering their 'expert' advice on 'training' this new submissive on how to be a 'real' submissive. This training may be perpetrated solely online, or it may include phone calls and even illicit meetings. New Dominants are often told that their 'submissive' needs the training of a more experienced 'Master' and that this training may include sexual contact. Frequently the 'submissive' (who is equally inexperienced) will approach their 'inexperienced Dominant' with this 'necessity'. This suggests that the inexperienced Dominant will 'like' what some stranger is teaching, showing or otherwise 'training' their submissive to do. Just as each submissive is unique, so is each Dominant, the needs of each dominant is singular to themselves. You learn by doing. You attain experience by being within the experience. If you put five Dominants in a room each one of them will like something different. This concept of secondary training especially from an unknown stranger should be avoided, the only 'training' which can occur by a stranger is to what that stranger likes. If as a couple the Dominant and submissive approach someone well known to them in their local community to learn a specific technique from 'as a couple' then the interactions can be experienced by both the Dominant and the submissive and will not act in a destructive way in their relationship.
If the Dominant does choose to have his submissive learn a technique from another Dominant then the Dominant should approach the situation as the Alpha Dominant and the 'more experienced' Dominant as the 'Beta' Dominant in the situation. This means that the Alpha maintains control of what will occur, when, where and how. Violation of this arrangement severs the agreement returning the submissive immediately to the full and sole control of the Alpha Dominant.
The only way to be a 'real' submissive is to be real. This means be who you are. Be truthful, especially to yourself. If you are in a position where you do not desire a singular commitment to one Dominant at this time then be truthful about this as well. Subterfuge, deceit and manipulation are actions of a desire to control or fear of loss. Honesty is a harsh path but it is the only path where happiness and joy bear fruit. To deliver the fullness of yourself you have to find out who you are, and you have to find out that honesty and you are enough, just exactly as you are.


6/28/2009 7:34:54 AM

SUBMISSIVE vs SLAVE
This distinction appears muddled, misunderstood and generalized by a great number of the people that I converse with. First I would like to make a point. Language at it's best shifts from area to area. Within this one continent we have many variations or dialects of usage. This can be seen in terms like sweeper meaning vacuum cleaner etc. So, many words used within a community can mean different things to different people based on the 'age' of the person, their background and the common usage of the area they live in.
The submissive is a volunteer.
The slave is not a volunteer.
This is the core and substantial difference between the two terms. Within the BDSM community this can be interpreted in this way. The submissive individual may be lightly, moderately or heavily submissive. The submissive has a desire to submit to the direction of another person which in this community we call the Dominant or Top. Their submission may be quite limited in range, for example, they may only want and desire to release their submission in a limited fashion, for short amounts of time and within tightly confined arena's. This type of submissive will generally carry a long list of rules, boundaries, limits, requirements etc. which they require the Dominant to agree to prior to engaging their submissive aspect within the relationship. Other submissives will have a more moderate (this is the largest group) approach, a stronger desire to submit for longer periods of time with fewer restrictions, limitations and requirements. A small percentage of submissives will be heavily submissive. They desire and look for a full time partner to live with on a full time basis. Their nature is to seek to express their submission as often as possible with the fewest restrictions upon their chosen Dominant as possible. Generally their list of limitations, rules and requirements may be verbal, short and flexible.
Additionally there is the person that calls themselves submissive who prefers to seek out only casual contacts. This person is willing to submit only so far as to address their personal needs. Their orientation toward 'serving' the other person is almost nonexistent. They will have a list of personal needs and requirements and in large part do not care who fills them. These persons tend to be called the "DO ME" subs. In my opinion they are not submissives at all, not having the basic criteria of a 'desire to serve for the pleasure of another' that is the fundamental trait I identify as submissive and Dominant. For me personally, the 'do me sub' in my eyes is a vanilla person with a kink fetish desire.
There is one other category that needs to be mentioned here. This is the terminology of bottom and masochist. In general terms a bottom is not necessarily submissive but a person who enjoys scening from the bottom position. This bottom may or may not consider themselves to be a submissive, many consider themselves to be neither submissive nor Dominant but more accurately a switch. You will note that I do not consider a bottom to be a 'do me sub', their attitude, orientation and motivation are distinctly different. In my opinion they are usually very open and honest about the submissive aspect and by virtue of that fall into their own category. I have scened with many bottoms and found them to be excellent for demo's, workshops and to help out or assist where multiple persons are useful for the fulfillment of a scene. The masochist also plays in here, a masochist is a person that enjoys pain being inflicted upon them. They do not need to be submissive at all, (similar to a bottom). However, many submissives are strongly masochistic. The masochist also is sometimes called a 'pain slut', they generally are most similar to a bottom in clarifying their distinctions from the label or identification of submissive. This form of honesty is what in my opinion makes both of these choices valid.
The SLAVE ~
The slave is beyond the last level of the submissive. The slave vacates limits. To be a slave is to offer of self fully and without reservation. From my perspective very few individuals fall into this category. Those that do, that I know personally are generally with their Dominant for a very long period of time. Trust has been long ago established, limits and range discovered and a relationship of personal strength has emerged which allows the submissive to transcend to this level. This is a level without safewords, without limits. The slave lives with their Dominant on a full time basis and may or may not have a life external of serving their mate. The slave generally selects a Dominant with parallel limits. By this I mean that the final action of trust is the vacating of set limits. In order to do this the individual must fundamentally know that their partner shares the same 'natural' or 'inviolate' limits as they do. A Dominant has limits just like a submissive. That which falls within their natural range and desire is their arena.
Many people use the term 'slave' interchangeably with submissive. I myself enjoy calling my sub's 'slaves' because it thrills them. However, I know in truth that they are not slaves, they fall within the field of the submissive. A submissive without choice (limit's - safewords) becomes a slave. They have passed that final threshold of personal trust.
One final thing to really confuse things. I have a category which I call the 'Authentic Submissive', I also call these persons 'full out or true Submissives'. This is the submissive who is auto responsive. When in top space they can and may appear to be at any level of the submissive listed above. Upon entering sub-space they lose the ability to do anything but obey. This is an automatic response. They are unable to control the response. It has been my lifelong opinion that these submissives are the 'natural slaves', they have a capacity and range far exceeding the non-auto-responsive submissive. By the way, when I find one of these quite rare authentic submissives, I am instinctively very protective of them. They are the most vulnerable members of this community.
Ok, to address a few more misconceptions. There is sometimes rampant discussion on the who is real question. Any person who states that they are submissive, switch or Dominant should be taken at their word until through action, word or deed they demonstrate otherwise. Respect is not given by virtue of having any aspect but is earned or inspired by consistent action, word or deed. The amount, number, placement, design of brandings, piercings, tattoo's etc. can but do not necessarily identify any individual by virtue of in community status. These ornamentation's are used across the entirety of the community and can be seen upon any individual regardless of Dominant or submissive status.
The easiest way to discover a person's placement within the community, be it through gender, sexual orientation, top, bottom, sideways etc... is to politely ask them. You can simply say, "What way would you prefer to be addressed?" This offers the individual the choice to tell you what they prefer so that you will not appear discourteous. By the way...courtesy is the key. You are not required to respect any unknown person. You are required to use common courtesy. Additionally, there is no right or wrong to being or believing yourself to be anything. It is not better to be one thing or the other and people should not be discriminated against for those choices they make. I offer common respect to all persons until and unless they take an action that I find disrespectful. At that point I generally elect to have no further converse with them.
One final note. There is what is loosely called a 'submissive network'. This network is a system which has existed probably since the origination of the SSC credo (safe, sane and consensual), wherein submissives within a community share information. This becomes important if you are a new person. A Dominant is only as good as the reputation they maintain within their local community. There are persons within this community who use the label Dominant, Top and even Sadist to cover their activities of non-consensual abuse. If you encounter someone who is abusive or breaks the SSC credo. Identify them in their local community. This is in real life. If you are a Dominant and you encounter a submissive who is unbalanced (mentally), by this I mean erratic, violent, abusive...share this information as neutrally as possible with the other Dominant's in your locale who may encounter this submissive. There are some persons who call themselves submissive who will turn after a scene and accuse the Dominant of abuse. Generally they have not dealt with prior, long term or life long experiences with abuse. You are not required to medically diagnose, just be open and honest. Submissives also live by their local reputation. When encountering or beginning a new relationship be honest about any occurrences which may reflect poorly on your reputation. Establishment of trust requires this. A Dominant may be accused of abuse and a submissive accused of being cracked or insane without substantiation. Imput the information and take the time to get to know the individual before making a judgment!


6/13/2009 6:47:52 AM

Classification of Collar (Part 3 of Part 3)

FORMAL COLLAR or SLAVE COLLAR

 

The Formal Collar (frequently called the Slave Collar) is the representation of the final stage of commitment between the Dominant and submissive. This collar is offered after the Dominant and submissive have progressed through the 'Collar of Consideration' and the 'Training Collar'. To read more on these prior collars and stages please refer to the articles titled "Collar of Consideration" and "Training Collar'. All three of these collars are given in real life, between live persons actively interacting in or forming serious BDSM relationships. In recent years we have seen the creation of what I can only call the 'cyber collar'. This creation attempts to mimic the real life collar but tends to be exchanged between those who are primarily BDSM cyber fetishers. It is my personal opinion that cyber collars are made of pixel dust, fantasies and illusions. In addition, those using and exchanging these imaginary collars tend to appear and vanish like shadows in the mist, lacking the primary reality and substance that is so much a part of the BDSM world. The presence of the cyber collar and it's apparent implications for those newly exploring the lifestyle tend to diminish what is a serious exchange in the real world. If you are a new Dominant or submissive, recognize that the Internet is a tool which augments and gives you access into a real world. If you wish to remain cyber that is your free choice but try to respect the world that you mimic.

The Formal Collar is offered by the Dominant with the intent to formalize the bond and attachment between themselves and their submissive. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect and consideration. It expresses a belief that the Dominant and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each others lives over perhaps the rest of their lives. With many couples this collar is given in conjunction with a proposal of marriage. It's weight within the community is equivocal to the wedding ring. The acceptance of this collar by the submissive is an open, voluntary offering of their complete submission to the Dominant from that day forward.

The traditional appearance of the Slave Collar is a collar made of black leather or metal which is adorned by brass or silver objects or designs. This collar is created specifically for the individual submissive and is often an original design. The presentation of this collar often involves a joyous celebration including an exchange of vows, benediction by a minister, the singing of a mutually admired song etc. Many couples write their own poetry, vows and promises to each other which are exchanged publicly as they dedicate themselves to each other. In addition, many people choose to engage in the placement of permanent body markings upon the submissive at this time. This can be via tattoo's, piercings, brandings, cuttings etc. Some ceremonies will include a carefully designed public scene so that the guests can visually enjoy and participate in this union and bond by watching the permanent marking in its application. This is a serious decision by both people often arrived at after years of searching and in many cases after living together for a long period of time to make sure that their choice is sound.

At this stage in the collaring process often the Dominant and submissive feel the same deep love that any vanilla couple might feel coupled to the trust, respect and commitment so crucial in the D/s lifestyle. To be invited to attend a D/s Formal Collaring is similar to being invited to a wedding. A gift is appropriate, attire as specified in the invitation should be followed and protocol should be observed regarding the manner in which other members of the community are addressed. If you are invited to a collaring but are not very familiar with the participants then be polite, courteous and respectful. Remember that different areas of the country and different groups have different rules of protocol. If you do not know them, politely ask. If there is a public scene then standard open dungeon rules generally apply, this is soft conversation when necessary, never touch another person, Do not interrupt a scene with questions or commentary, wear dark clothing and be unobtrusive during the commencement of the scene.

Remember that some scenes can place the submissive at risk in unique ways. An example of this is a scene involving fire play. During such a scene a sudden draft such as the opening of a door or window can make the flames flare in a sudden and extremely dangerous fashion. Do not leave your position of observation, open doors, windows, turn on fans, lights, music or anything else without the prior consent of the Dominant, Dungeon Master/Mistress or person in charge of scene management. Wait until the completion of a scene to address the Dominant. It is often considered proper to congratulate the submissive independent of the Dominant after such a collaring after you have congratulated the Dominant. If you are in doubt as to this protocol then take the opportunity to ask the Dominant when you are congratulating them if it is permissible to congratulate their submissive.

Remember that if the submissive has just scened, been pierced, branded or tattooed they may and probably will be in subspace. Be gentle, friendly and kind and forgive them if they are wobbly, spacey and a bit out of it <smiles>. By the way - the Dominant may be a bit shaken too, so a good hug or two is generally not unwelcome (this depends on the temperament of the Dominant of course!)

Often an open play party commences after such events. Do not drink if alcohol has been present if you intend to scene later. A final note - in many cases the Formal Collaring is recorded on video tape and in snapshots. If you are concerned about being in these shots choose seats outside the ones closest to the event. In most cases the photographers try very hard to capture just those officiating and personally involved but if it is a concern of yours then take the steps necessary yourself without disturbing the ceremony in any way. 


6/13/2009 6:44:34 AM

Classification of Collar (Part 2 of Part 3)


TRAINING COLLAR

The Training Collar represents the second collar exchanged between a Dominant and a submissive. For information regarding the first collar please refer to my article called the Collar of Consideration. The 'Training' collar is offered by the Dominant after they have engaged in a period of time where they have held extensive conversations with the submissive and explored characteristics, traits, interests, desires and lifestyles to see if they consider themselves to be a good match in enough areas to move into a relationship of deeper commitment. They will generally have engaged in many of the vanilla aspects of the relationship as well as commenced with some light sceneing to explore the beginning limits that the submissive may possess.

The traditional Training collar is often made of leather. It is generally very plain and may be either red or black. Many Dominants alternatively offer a training collar in chain. This is based on personal preference, requirements dictated by issue's in the submissives life and other factors shared between the Dominant and the submissive. The acceptance of this collar by the submissive indicates that the submissive agrees to pursue a much deeper relationship with the Dominant which will involve or may, serious feelings, emotions, commitments and responsibilities. It can be equated fairly well to an engagement ring. When a relationship reaches the stage where a Training Collar is offered it tells other Dominant's and submissives that the Dominant and submissive have grown much more serious and that they are actively bonding and attaching to each other with considerations of a potentially long term full time relationship. At this point the actions of the submissive are reflected upon the Dominant and the submissive should become acutely aware that behaving in a manner becoming to the training of their Dominant is a reflection of their personal devotion and commitment to that Dominant.

When a Dominant reaches this stage with a submissive they will often move into areas of training and discipline which are much more severe and strict. The foundations of later interactions are often based on how well the Dominant and the submissive construct or shape their relationship at this stage. Both recognize that they are a reflection of each other or openly connected to each other and will actively work to make that representation solid and deep. Most Dominant's and submissives enter deeper emotional stages at this point and may begin to express true devotion, love, honor and mutual respect. In many ways this is where the relationship is truly tested physically, mentally and emotionally.

In many cases the Dominant and submissive may consider or try living together actively. The exploration of in-scene elements will generally intensify as they get to know each other better and the depth of trust begins to grow. It is at this stage that adaptation problems generally occur the most. The newlywed stage is over and in many cases people tend to express themselves in a more open fashion. It is at this point that many submissives find themselves 'acting-out' against their Dominant as they attempt to reconcile the internal conflicts of true commitment and submission. A Dominant in this stage can struggle with feelings of resentment, excessive responsibility and a reduction in personal freedom, primarily as it relates to the open exploration of other people. This is a natural shifting from non-commitment to commitment. Both will find that they may test their partner strenuously to see if their partner's commitment is solid and strong. There is always an element of fear in the creation of relationships and insecurities and doubts. Facing these and overcoming them is necessary before the Dominant and submissive can even consider taking their relationship the final steps toward a full collar, often identified as a 'Slave Collar'.

Each of the collars is generally presented during some type of formal ceremony. Often the 'Collar of Consideration' and the 'Training Collar' may be presented privately or during a small gathering of close friends. The actions of collaring are considered quite serious and most often great care is taken to make the moments memorable for both people. Many Dominant's and submissive's exchange vows or poems they have created during such ceremonial occasions.

Continued with part 3


6/13/2009 6:42:19 AM

Classification of Collar (Part 1 of Part 3)


COLLAR OF CONSIDERATION

Collaring is the term commonly used by those in the D/s community to describe the commencement of a relationship between a Dominant and a submissive. It carries the same type of weight that a marriage ring does in it's final stage and denotes the same depth of commitment. In recent times (since the advent of the Internet) we have seen a bastardizing of this ritual into something casual and transient. This attack on long standing traditions should be actively fought by educating those entering the lifestyle.

First I want to state clearly that in my opinion collaring is done only in real life, between live people, ceremonially, joyously and celebrated. One does not get married online or on the phone and one does not collar online or on the phone.

The first collar offered is called the 'Collar of Consideration'. This identification comes from the Old Guard Leather community, the same source of the Safe, Sane and Consensual code. This Collar is traditionally given at the very beginning of a potential relationship. There are many variations on how a collar may be represented in actuality. It can be by a bracelet, waist chain, anklet or other choice. This is sometimes determined by the situation of the submissive such as job requirements etc. Sometimes it is dictated by the Dominant's personal taste. The traditional or customary representation of the 'Collar of Consideration' is a leather collar in some shade of blue. The actual shade of color is not as important as the color itself.

The Dominant by offering this collar to the submissive is expressing an interest in pursuing a potential furthering of a relationship with that submissive beyond the range of a casual acquaintance or even the relationship between a Top and bottom. This collar is offered seriously and with intent. The submissive in accepting this collar from the Dominant is equally serious in their understanding that their relationship has moved into a different stage. The existence of the Collar of Consideration indicates to other Dominant's and submissives that the Dominant and submissive are forming a potentially serious relationship. It's existence acts to openly present to other Dominant's that this submissive is 'off-limits' for the duration of the 'consideration' period and that honorable Dominant's should not pursue this submissive in any manner.

It is understood that new relationships are fragile and vulnerable to both parties involved. Respect for new relationships is shown by adhering to the presence of collars and their underlying meanings. The 'Collar of Consideration' does not indicate a lifelong commitment between the Dominant and submissive but might be better considered to be similar to a pre-engagement ring.

Should either Dominant or submissive decide after a period of time that the relationship or connection is not to their desire then either may politely withdraw from the offer or the acceptance with "no fault" to either side. If a submissive is uncollared then it is considered important for that submissive to physically remove the collar and place it within the hands of the Dominant personally. If extensive attempts have been made to do so unsuccessfully then and only then should the submissive retain the collar. In other words the collar is the property of the Dominant. It should be purchased, acquired or made by the Dominant, for the Dominant. Upon the severance of the relationship it should be rightfully returned to it's owner. Objects given as gifts to the submissive should be clearly defined as becoming the submissives property and not expected to be returned should the relationship end. To keep the collar is considered to be extremely disrespectful.

For any Dominant to 'actively' approach a collared submissive is considered an extreme breach of protocol and it should be noted that such action can have serious negative impact on that Dominant's real life reputation. The traditions of our community should be given the same honor, dignity and respect of any other. Those that actively diminish or devalue what is precious to us should be aware that such diminishment identifies you as being external to our community or a parasite upon it. If you are one of those then perhaps you should return to your sorry world where honor is nonexistent, honesty impossible to find and trust is just a word in the dictionary.

Continued with part 2


6/10/2009 6:45:46 PM

Ownership Icons

Designing the Ownership Flag

by Tanos

Ownership Flag The Ownership Flag is derived from the Ownership Icons, and is intended to represent everyone who is seeking or pursuing a relationship based on ownership or possession: that is, Master/slave or Dominance/submission relationships where some or all of the rights associated with property ownership are held by the master, mistress, owner or dominant.

As with the icons, the shield represents the owner, as head of the household, and taps into the whole set of historical associations between authority and aristocratic hierarchies. This convention also allows heads of household to base personal designs on a shield (and the TS monogram and shield I use at the bottom of webpages is an example.)

The thick circle placed on the shield represents the collar, and owned submissives and slaves. A collar is so universally part of D/s and M/s imagery that it's the obvious choice.

In designing the flag, the first question was how to place the collar-shield icon on the flag. It's very convenient for flags to be symmetric, since they're double sided: this way, there's no need for a mirror image to be made for the "back" of the flag, and there isn't a wrong way to hang the flag relative to the flag pole. So the middle of the flag was chosen.

Then the background design had to be chosen, and I've based this on the nine black and blue stripes of the Leather Pride Flag. Since the shield is curved, making it red provides another reference, via the red heart of the Leather flag. However, for the stripes, I chose black and white.

This has two useful associations: black and white represents the clear distinction between owners and property - rather than shades of gray; and black and white stripes were used to represent the bars of a cage or jail cell on the uniforms of convicts sentenced to penal servitude ("punishment slavery".) So you can view the combination as the owner's authority backed up by physical control.

Ownership Flag The design can also be reproduced in two colours without losing its distinctiveness and without different components "bleeding" into each other. This means the flag can still be adapted for printing if only a single colour plus background is available.

This combination of colours also obeys the heraldic Rule of Tincture: that is, only the lighter "metals" (white or yellow) are placed next to the darker "colours" (black, blue, red or green). This rule was developed to make the designs on knights' shields stand out in battle, and is still followed by almost all genuine flags.

The flag design and image files are copyright, but may be reproduced freely for commercial or non-commercial purposes without prior permission.

Background

Leather Pride Flag

Rule of Tincture

National Flags, demonstrating how common the rule of tincture still is
These icons have been developed for use by owners, masters, mistresses, submissives and slaves, as described on the Designing the Icons page.

Description Male Female
Symbols for the planets have existed for hundreds of years, and Mars and Venus are used as a shorthand for male and female sexes in biology. To indicate gender in an ownership icon, we used the arrow (male) and cross (female) from these symbols. Mars symbol Venus symbol
The symbols for owners, masters and mistresses use a shield to represent the head of the household, with an arrow or a cross to indicate gender. Shield
80px 16px 1200px
Arrow on shield
80px 16px 1200px
Cross on shield
80px 16px 1200px
Owned slaves and collared submissives' symbols consist of a circle, representing a collar, and the gender arrow or cross. Collar
80px 16px 1200px
Arrow in collar
80px 16px 1200px
Cross in collar
80px 16px 1200px
The symbols for free submissives place the gender arrow or cross inside a broken square, representing an unlocked cage. Cage
80px 16px 1200px
Arrow in cage
80px 16px 1200px
Cross in cage
80px 16px 1200px
The Collar Shield combines the symbols for owner and owned, and can be used to represent the Ownership Subculture itself, and is the basis of the Ownership Flag. Collar shield
80px 1200px
Ownership Flag
100x60 1000x600 more...

All of these symbols and designs are copyright, but may be reproduced freely for commercial or non-commercial purposes without prior permission.


6/2/2009 2:58:26 PM
                    
 How I became a slave and about me
 Well a lot of people out there try to find out about me.  
I am 5’ 7”.  I wear a size 8 shoe.  I am a 34B.  I am 27 years old
(as of 2009).   I am a bleached platinum blonde which gives me
that slutty look on purpose, have blue eyes, nipples punctured
and pierced by a former Master, a perfect ass that was born to be
spanked, and, as you will or will not see, waxed bare.  I am
basically a medium sized girl.  I am extremely intelligent with an IQ
that ranges from 150 to 160 depending on what mood I am in during
testing.  So I am bright, hopefully that gets through on these Blogs.
 
No I am not as dumb as I look, if there is ever a stereotype.
 
So, I am petite and a submissive with nearly 11 years of intensive
training and experience.  I like to drink wine, smoke pot
recreationally and am an easy going laid back lady.  I am bisexual.
  I have a great job as a graphics artist doing advertising work in
the area.  So what went wrong with me?  LOL.
 I am currently with Seeking to blond in Slave Contract.
 B
ut how did I become a slave and involved in BDSM and D/s?
 
Many people are aware of my relationship with my former Dominant
wonder how it all began.  What led a vanilla girl into slavery, a
girl that would not wear a tight fitting shirt, or clothes that hinted
she had a body at all?  What had suddenly changed?  I admit it,
if my former Dominant had come right out and said it all in the
beginning I would have run like the building was going up in flames.
If he had said he wanted me to bow down before him, take my
clothes off in public places, wear latex and butt plugs, allow him
to pierce and tattoo me wherever he chose, be his personal slut,
his bitch, I would have broken out in a sweat and disappeared into
the night.  Now, I am unable to think of anything I want more in
life, to be under control of a Dominant in a 24/7 D/s relationship.
 
Easier said than done.
 I first discovered a little BDSM while I was attending college
from a former boyfriend.  We experimented with some light
bondage and discovered that my orgasms were more intense
and that my whole body and spirit reached another level whenever
we did that form of sex.  I kept this secret to myself because I
was ashamed of feeling like this and fearful my boyfriend would
think less of me at the time.  It is obvious that the “Catholic Guilt”
in me, controlled me.  But I knew this thing was something I
liked a whole lot.  But it was my secret.
 
I eventually dropped out of school and moved to
Silicon Valley to pursue my dream of applying my graphic arts
skills that were taking so long in college to develop and do it in a
place where it was being reinvented daily.  School was boring
me too.  So I moved to the Bay area to do that.
 
When my Dominant and I first met, it was at work,
and I worked under him (so I followed his orders from the
beginning!).  I worked in a Doctors office as a receptionist while
doing graphics arts stuff during the evening.  You know how it is,
you get any job you can while pursuing your real job.
 
It took a few years, but I eventually built up a reputation and
client base to work freelance with others in the field and while all
along learning the trade.  There is nothing like learning by doing it.
 My Dominant was one of the Doctors that worked in the office. 
I always had strong feelings for him, loved following his orders as
I did no other, and fantasized about them often.  He let off amazing
power and control, walked with such dignity and pride:  I wanted
to reach out and touch him.  I was a shy girl, conservative
(well, now I guess I would call myself a little on the nerdy side)
but he was still interested, said he could see more to me than met
the eye.
 During our first encounter, I was sitting outside of work basking in
the sun, and my Dominant friend walked out the door to head home.
 
He sat next to me, we engaged in simple, yet powerful, conversation.
  He casually handed me his card, dominance pouring out of him like
powerful cologne.  He simply said, "Call me".  Well, needless to say,
I called, and kept on calling.
 In retrospect, the relationship started with a dominant/submissive
flavor and intensity all its own.   My Dominant and I would talk often
via phone, as friends, at first chit-chatting about the day at work
and other such mundane topics.  One phone conversation, though,
I remember distinctly.  It lasted several hours instead of the usual
several minutes, and we got to talk a lot more about ourselves and
who we were.  This was a very different kind of conversation for us.
  I recall we revealed things that were very private, yet we both felt
the need to share.  I told him about my bondage experience in
college and how it made me feel inside.  I told him about an Internet
"relationship" I'd had with a cyber Dominant named Master Williams,
where we had some "cyber sex", and he "forced" me to follow his
orders.  I told him how he'd requested, among other things, that I
walk outside to check the mail:  naked, with a dildo in my pussy.
 
I pretended at the time that this didn't excite me, although I
confessed our cyber chat lasted several hours.
  
My Dominant saw right through me.  I did not consciously t
ell him this for any certain reason at the time, as I was by no
means looking for a Master, let alone have any idea what one was.
  I believe I just wanted to get a reaction out of him: we were talking
about crazy things, and this was one of the few stories I had to offer,
aside from accounts of sporadic bisexual relationships I'd had.
 
Now I know that my telling of this cyber tale was our first step
towards a D/s relationship.  He knew I was submissive, and
I subconsciously wanted more than anything for him to be Dominant.
  At the time I thought cyber slavery was the real thing and now
I now it isn’t and do not approve of it.  It is just a game.
 The dominance recurred during our first sexual encounter.
  Please know this: sex was never important to me back then.
 
I really got little enjoyment out of it, with the exception of a few
of the experiences I'd had with other women and my last boyfriend
in college.  From the very first time we made love, my Dominant
made me thirst for his sex, made me want it constantly:  the times
when we weren't doing it, I was thinking about it constantly.  He
took me to new levels, and brought out the nymphomaniac in me
that had been hidden for 18 years, in less than one week.
 During our first sexual encounter, I stood before my Dominant
by his "request", and was asked (told) to slowly take off my clothes.
  I stood before him as he just stared at me, taking in my body.
 
He told me he wanted to watch me, and that I was beautiful.
 
Heretofore shy, I felt incredibly nervous, and had to fight like hell
to keep from covering up.  I stood still on the floor in front of him,
my Dominant sitting on the couch touching himself.  I then moved
my hands to my breasts, and began exploring my body for him.
 
It was so exciting to be following his "orders" and to be watched,
yet nerve racking at the same time.  I couldn't get over the fact that
he was so turned on by my appearance.  He then took me out onto
the back patio, naked, where he made love to me and made me cum
over and over: in the hot tub, in the pool, and bent over the picnic
table under the lights in front of the golf course that was in his
backyard.  My Dominant would tell me what to do, which position
to assume, and I would follow his "commands" without hesitation.
  I fell in love that night with an amazing Man, but I still had no idea
he would one day become my Master.  All I knew was that I loved
what he was doing to me and how he made me feel.  This was in
the last week of July, 1999
 One of our first hurdles was my nipple rings, done surprisingly
soon thereafter, on March 20th, 2000.  By that time the nature of our
relationship had taken a clearer focus.  He was obviously dominant,
and I his submissive:  he ordered me to send him e-mails,
commanded me to get on my knees during sex, spanked me
to orgasm after wonderfully painful orgasm.  By this point my
Dominant had found on the Internet some samples of slave contracts,
and had combined and edited them to fine-tune one uniquely suiting
us.  I lay on a bed that hot September night, arms bound above my
head, blindfolded, naked, with my Dominant sitting beside me,
calming me, caressing me.  Our contract specified that he could
manipulate my body in any way he wanted to, including piercing.
 
This contractual inclusion both scared and excited me at the same
time:  I trusted he would not abuse the privilege, and the thought
of him taking me as he wanted and changing me permanently
(in a way he, but we both wanted) proved just a metaphor for
our whole relationship.  He pierced my nipples one by one.
 
The pain was astronomical, like no other.  He took amazing control,
mixing love with pain, as I lay on the bed so small, with tears in my
eyes.  After the first nipple was pierced and bleeding, I pleaded with
him to stop and do the other maybe next week.  In his wisdom,
he pressed on, telling me I'd remember the pain of today and never
allow him to touch my breasts again.  He was, of course, right...sort
of...I, a week later, I would not have wanted him in the same room
with me with a needle in hand.  Today, though, I would give
anything to relive the piercing over, so I could drink it in
appropriately, and bask in the pleasure, pain, and dominance I have
now learned to appreciate ever so much more.  I have come a long
way since then.  I feel so proud having my former Master's rings in
my nipples, and to this day, I love them.  They are my comfort and
they keep my former Master with me always, close to my heart.
 Our relationship developed rapidly:  me testing his limits, and him
testing mine.  Rocky to smooth, like a roller coaster ride, we made
it through many difficulties; and our feelings moved from casual-
to deep erotic-love, a love I thirsted for more than water.
 
My Dominant did a beautiful job breaking me in and training me,
steadily, slowly.  He took me out and first bought me simple yet
elegant latex.  He brought me to Bondage-a-Go-Go, an erotic but
safe Wednesday night club in San Francisco, where I shook the
entire night:  scared to death and way too nervous.  He started me
out in mini-skirts, heels, and revealing tops, and did all in his power
to make me feel comfortable.
 
I remember this as if it were yesterday. 
I went from baggy jeans and loose tops one day, to skirts that
barely covered my ass and shirts eyes can see right through the
next.  We would walk down the streets of San Francisco window
shopping, and my Dominant would talk the whole time, telling me
stories about his past in order to take my nervous mind off all the
hungry eyes that drank me in.  His patience with me was amazing,
and today I feel so thankful to have a Master like him, a Man like
him.  That is the way he is: he is willing to put time, love, and effort
into things he cares about, his belongings, watching them grow
under his supervision.
 In only nine short months, he has reared and trained me, brought
me from a vanilla girl into a lifelong slave.  I now can't wear sexy
clothes enough, I love for people to look at me (most of the time),
and knew I was my Master's slave.  When I felt nervous, I was
comforted by knowing that I was making him proud.  I follow my
contract and manual to a tee, and I can hardly recognize the girl I
was before.  I was his slave, his slut, his bitch, his love, his best
friend, and his loyal pet.  I loved taking my clothes off for him,
I loved following his orders, and I loved his harsh punishment when
orders were not followed.  I loved bowing down before him,
sitting/sleeping at his feet, and feeling his dominance overpower
me as he pushed my limits further and further.
 
I know I have had submission hidden deep inside for a long time,
I know I have silently longed for someone like him: a Master/Keeper
/Daddy to protect me, and allow me to cherish and serve him to no
end.  I cannot imagine loving or serving anyone else at the time.
 
The powers that be made this happen, and I have never been
happier, never smiled more, never felt as confidant and fulfilled as
I did then and now.
However, I had a career opportunity that he knew I had to take
and he released me from my contract and his power.  Occasionally
he calls me and commands me to get the mail naked from my
mailbox, to wear butt plugs to work and wear no underwear in
public.  Master Darren allows this and understands he is my original
Daddy and knows the importance of that to me.  That is what makes
Master Darren so strong.
 
 Being a good Master
 
It is imperative for the Masters to be intelligent.
  It would be hard to have a Master that is not as-smart-as or smarter
than his slave.  The intelligence protects the Dominant from being
manipulated, from being passively topped by his own sub.
 
I tried, unaware of course, to "top from the bottom" in the
beginning of my Contract.  I did not do it purposely, or even
realize I was doing it; still I thought I would have the power
to make the situation what I wanted it to be.  My Dominant saw this,
and whipped me back into shape with a strong loving hand, and
I believe I have not done this since.
 Masters must also be loving,
and have the ability to patiently guide their subs, gently and strictly,
down the right path.  Mix love with punishment, because for a good
slave, knowing they have misbehaved is devastating.  Most likely,
we did not mean to do it, it was due to simple forgetfulness or
something getting in our way.  When my dominant was angry with
me, I would feel like my world is falling apart.  I would rather jump
off a cliff than feel his anger and disappointment.  He knew this, so
he carried out my punishment strictly, but mixed it with love.  He let
me know I would be forgiven, but one must pay the price for
disobedience.  My belief is that any sub would behave better under
these circumstances I knew I did.
 
Being a good slave
 
Subs must have their own personality, be their own person, to begin
with.  A piece of Jell-O cannot make a very good pet, and
Masters may soon become bored with the monotonously and
mindlessly pliable servant.  My Dominant loved it when I told him
what I would do for him, when I was creative, I would surprise him
with little tricks, when I spoke my mind.
 
A good slave must love having their limits tested, and pushed
a little further each day.  Exploring the world, fetishes, and secret
desires is what makes the D/s relationship powerful and fulfilling.
  It is a chance to know one's self, and appreciate it.  My Dominant
pushed my limits slowly but steadily, and this has made me the
person I am today, and not just sexually.
 
We must not forget obedience that is the key ingredient. 
Obedience is my favorite part, and most likely, any slave's favorite
part.  Following orders and serving my Master is what turned me
on like nothing else; it was rewarding, giving me a sense of peace,
and making me the happy girl I am today.  There is nothing in the
world that brings me more satisfaction than when my Dominant
called me a 'good girl'.  I smile and bask in a glory all my own.
Conclusion
 
I hope I have given everyone a glimpse into my life as a slave,
and answered a few questions that you all have been asking.
 
My former relationships were wonderful and amazingly complex;
it was impossible to put all the intricate details in words.  Every
day we changed and our relationship reaches new levels, and we
became closer.
 My Dominant enhanced one another's lives in a way I never knew
possible, and that happiness is something that cannot be compared
to any other.
 
If you have any questions concerning me or my lifestyle, send
me an email or  and in a few weeks I will answer them in a Blog
Q&A form.  Come on, don’t be scared, I haven’t bitten anyone in
years.
 
Donna Jenniffer Slave
 
Seeking BDSM Couple , Domme women or trans and people who
can chat with a certain amount of intelligence.

 


4/26/2009 2:33:37 PM

COMMAND TRAINING
 

    

To be able to readily call forth, evoke, exact or compel. The art of command requires the ability to deliver an instruction into the very center of a submissives response centers. This delivery of a command package can remain a surface command which requires a submissive to think, analyze and choose a response appropriate to the command or it may exist deeper within the more automatic response systems and may not require a submissive conscious thought but instead results in immediate action without deliberation. Training a submissive to hear command without igniting a defensive or conflictive reaction is a delicate and deliberate process. In general terms a submissive hears a constant stream of fragmented commands from those that submissive 'listens for' during the course of normal life. The people most often in a position of domination over a submissive are parents, siblings, children, spouses, friends and bosses. In addition a submissive may have a submissive response or hear clergy with strong voice, astrologers, radio and TV personalities, doctors, hypnotists or any person in a position of authority who has a compelling or dynamic charismatic presence which attracts that submissives attention and focus.

 

Many submissives do not knowingly or willfully consciously choose the people who take a position of authority in that submissives life. A submissive may simply feel a compulsion to aid, help, assist, augment or otherwise support a person even if and when they do not actively admire or like that person. Frequently the good nature, compulsion to give, of a submissive will lead to feelings within that submissive of being used by the person in authority without proper credit or a reciprocal care and attention for the feelings or needs of that submissive. This can lead to resentment, conflict and confusion when the submissive cannot actively identify why they have helped or listened to, taken the advice of or otherwise catered to the will of another person. As a submissive gets older and matures, they frequently learn techniques that help them avoid or otherwise block the constant invasive stream of disjointed and often chaotic commands radiating at them from numerous sources. Some submissives use techniques of overlay to quite literally overlay old commands within themselves, many dating from early childhood. To create a supportive atmosphere for such a command block the submissive may seek out and join a small group whose focus is on one singular aspect or mutual problem. This support group encourages through constant reinforcement the laying in of a new command to replace or diminish the efficacy of the older command. A gathering of 'like mindedness' can strengthen a submissives ability to delay or negate new commands, allowing a submissive a measure of control. A submissive may also find themselves deliberately limiting access to their private environments such as through the usage of answering machines etc. Sometimes they arrive at a point where they note when they feel the most pressed to comply. Recognition of behaviors, triggers, attitude and situations allows that submissive to make reasoned instead of responsive choices, sometimes for the first time in their lives.

 

Submissives are frequently aware of their usage by others. They may have been told that they lack willpower, conviction or strength. They hear that they are weak or stupid. They know that they respond to a compulsion that they cannot accurately convey to others, in lieu of alternative information many submissives believe that their actions of compliance are evidence of failure, weakness and stupidity. Frequently a submissive will make numerous attempts to combat their compulsions only to find that in some way they seem to return to a similar spot or position over and over. This repetition may lead to depression, feelings of intense failure and significantly reduced self worth or esteem.

 

When a Dominant enters a submissives life the above components are often at full strength. The submissive may have an almost overwhelming desire to find voice coupled to their lifelong experience of diminishing punishment, abuse and usage by those in authority over them. This conflict may manifest as hesitation, anxiety, acting out or other methods of escape from the source voice now present in their life. If the Dominant assumes an attitude of do this or else they may ignite a defensive posturing by the submissive. This may exhibit as a block or failure to listen within the submissive. This block even if only partially effective will serve to diminish or negate the efficacy of the Dominants command and may erode the submissives positive belief in that Dominant. If the submissive can successfully relegate this new voice to part of the group of authority figures in that submissives past who have violated them, then that submissive will begin to think thoughts of diminishment relating to the Dominant. This removal of status will eventually destroy the relationship. A Dominant can take a submissive by forcible command they cannot keep a submissive using forcible command.

 

One of the better methods of training to command is a slow deliberate building of trust, confidence, positive outlook, positive self-esteem and mutual respect. At some point the Dominant invites the submissive to engage in a specific learning or training process. This type of action is frequently at total variance to any experience in that submissives past and may present no memory triggers of negation, this allows the submissive to willfully and often happily comply. The Dominant can then involve the submissive fully in actively creating actions or behaviors that compliment or are desirous. A submissive being trained in a supportive atmosphere where they feel they are in large part responsible for a successful result will often encourage that submissive to make personal efforts to succeed above and beyond the expectations or parameters of the original training. To the submissive this success may represent their first recognition of themselves in a positive or winning position while at the same time they are fully aware of the presence of their still extant compulsion to obey. It may be the very first time that these experiences marry within the spirit of the submissive.

 

If the submissive presents a posture of conflict to command they may be testing the Dominant to view response. If the Dominant reacts in a manner consistent with the experience of the submissive in former conflicts from their past then the Dominant may become the same as in the mind of the submissive. To escape this possibility the Dominant should formulate in advance the manner in which they desire to respond. In addition they should discuss this response with the submissive at that earlier time, such as when negotiating the relationship in the very beginning, and make sure that the submissive is fully aware of the nature of what that response will be. This kind of information is in a contract. When or if the conflict presents then the Dominant should execute the response exactly. This response should be some form of cease-of-action.

 

The Dominant may wish to excuse the submissive from their presence and discontinue training or any form of specific scene activity. This may mean simply that they return the submissive to vanilla status and instruct that submissive to focus their attention and now free time on exploring how and why they have made this choice. They should not impose language of shame, retribution, embarrassment or guilt on the submissive but simply recognize that the submissive is exhibiting behavior consistent with vanilla experience and is therefore in what might be called vanilla space. If these actions continue or are frequent occurrences then the Dominant may choose to release the submissive until that submissive has resolved the reasons for their actions of conflict or disobedience.

 

Some submissives entering the lifestyle desire to have their submission and vanilla too. When they want it and how they want it. This may be an action to limit the power or influence of the Dominant in their life. They may choose this path by selecting a Dominant who is at great distance to them physically or in some other way separated from daily contact and direction over them. It frequently takes many years for a submissive to release or relinquish their lifelong defenses and actions or to fully emerge as submissive and sometimes as Dominant. To feel that one is submissive does not mean that the individual is submissive.

 

Some submissives discover that they are latent Dominants after many years of actively experiencing life as a submissive. Other submissives find that they cannot completely release their need to control nor completely vacate their desire to submit and at some point they clarify their position as truthfully being between or switching between the roles based on circumstance and desire.

 

The best way to make this work properly is with a solid contract that lays out the dos or don’ts and the punishments and the commands for all this to work properly.

 

Donna Slave

 


3/2/2009 7:09:29 AM
The BDSM Emblem
The BDSM Emblem magnify

The BDSM emblem has no "obvious" symbolism because it was created to be enigmatic. To the vanilla observer who would be put off by BDSM, it is merely an attractive piece of jewelry. Thus, we can wear it freely as a friendly salute, nod, and wink to other BDSMers we should happen to pass on the sidewalks and in the hallways of our daily lives.
To the insider, however, the emblem is full of meaning. The three divisions represent the various threesomes of BDSM.

  • First of all, the three divisions of BDSM itself: B&D, D&S, and S&M.
  • Secondly, the three-way creed of BDSM behavior: Safe, Sane, and Consensual.
  • Thirdly, the three divisions of our community: Tops, Bottoms, and Switches.

It is this third symbolism that gives meaning to the holes in each unit. Since BDSM is, at the very least, a play style and, at its greatest, a love style, the holes represent the incompleteness of any individual within the BDSM context. However "together" and "whole" individuals may be, there remains a void within them that can only be filled by a complimentary other. BDSM cannot be done alone.

The resemblance to a three-way variation on the Yin-Yang symbol is not accidental. As the curved outline of Yin and Yang represent the hazy border between where one ends and the other begins, so do the curved borders here represent the indistinct divisions between B&D, D&S, and S&M. The curved lines themselves can be seen as a stylized depiction of a lash as it swings, or even an arm in motion to deliver an erotic

The BDSM emblem has really caught on--at least as far as online display is concerned--since it was first conceived in a chat area by a group of BDSMers and designed by them during those years.

It's since been pointed out me that the description of its symbolism is not complete enough to make for clear guidelines for online display. So everyone seems to have their own. But this is the commonly accepted format.

Keeping that in mind, here are the three aspects that are most often overlooked in representing the emblem.

1. The rim and three curved "spokes" of the design are meant to be presented in some metallic color. On the original pins and pendants this area is raised. This color (it may look like iron, gold, silver, copper, bronze, anything metallic) is indicative of the "chains" or "irons" of BDSM servitude/ownership.

2. The three inner fields are black, representing a celebration of the controlled "dark side" of BDSM sexuality.

3. The three "dots" are not dots but holes. The background of the page should be visible though them. These holes, as described in the original explanation of the symbol, denote the incompleteness of any individual practioner in that
BDSM is at the least a playstyle and at most a lovestyle, and cannot be practiced alone. There is always the need for a complimentary other

Slave Donna Jeniffer


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justagirl32548
 
 Age: 26
  Wyoming