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Felt something cold is running on my toes up to my knees and slowly lifting my skirt. I almost catch my breath and bite my lips when I open my eyes. Two beautiful eyes staring at me. Intense and controlling, yet gentle, affectionate and protective. He runs his fingers on my body, I close my eyes and kiss the back of his hands as it reach my lips.At first it's just a small tiny kiss but as I see he close his eyes i gently lick his hands with my tongue, suck his thumb open my eyes to show I beg for more. In one swing of his hands all buttons of my top are open revealing my two tiny nipples, hard and hungry of his mouth. I can't help myself to moan as his ribs my nipples. I can feel my pussy is already very wet. He stood up lift me like a paper his arms are strong I can feel his warm breath on my face as he didn't take away his eyes on me, I felt the coldness that runs to my back as he lay me down dining table though the house is always cold because of the air-con didn't help to put off the fire that had been enlightened inside of me. He spread my legs wide and slowly touch my wet pussy. Gently he close his eyes and smell it. I heard a sweet moan before he start greedily licking all my juices. My mouth is wide open. Shit so good. Suck me clit and eat my pussy like the most delicious meal he had in his life. ..
Riiiiiiinnnnnggggg intercom rings delivery finally arrived...
What a dream! |
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Just had fun riding a bicycle in short dress and no underwear, hard to cycle with heels but enjoyed much!
Really cool! |
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When you're horny but can't do anything than sigh.
What a life! |
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I guess I'm a little bit lost o don't know how to draw my sword now. Shattered and lost perhaps someone help me to find my way home. |
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STILL I RISE You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? Cause I walk like I've got oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise. Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops, Weakened by my soulful cries? Does my haughtiness offend you? Don't you take it awful hard Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines Diggin' in my own backyard. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I'll rise. Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I've got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of history's shame I rise Up from a past that's rooted in pain I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise. |
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Dedication sometimes hurts. The more you dedicate the more it hurts when truth comes to light, like the moan of pleasure that even how tried you control it will slip from your mouth as an evidence of joy, like the tears in your eyes you can't control the pain when heart is being piece by the truth |
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I tremble every time
I hear your name;
my blood rise
when I smell your scent.
My spirit
yields in your presence.
In your arms
I found the missing piece.
In you the woman in me is complete.
Come home to me
I'm missing you..
My Master,
My half...
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Weekend Metaphormosis
FULL STORY
It's a warm, boring late Saturday afternoon, my eyes are tired reading. Wearing a slight, plain knee leveled dress without underwear and bra, I decided to find some street food, my dress is brushing on my two tiny nipples as I walk making them hard. I have to pass the guard through the back gate and I saw how he stared on my chest, I just smiled and passed. Unfortunately before I crossed the road, one of my pure vanilla friend called me asking me if I could go out with him for a walk at the park nearby. I didn't insist anyway its weekend and I don't have to cook for the family they are all off to the city.
I have to be hurry the monkey will reach my place in 25 mins, hhhaayy here am I again I don't know what to wear. Huuufff I don't have much time to think I just picked a floral sleeveless dress but 3inches up the knee but still I didn't wear anything inside. Apply a very light touch of make up and lip gloss and run to the door.
Just in Time I saw his car park at the road near the back gate. He is very gentleman, upon seeing me through the side mirror he get off and greet me with a smile and friendly hug and kiss..(conversation)
Alexander:`You are very attractive ..
I think park is not the right place to go my lady. "
Darkspore: So Where are we heading then?
Alexander: Just relax
I smiled as a respond to him. Not long while to know where he is heading Sentosa yes I'm pretty sure. I just keep quiet until we reach the place.
We ended having a few shots of vodka whil talking nonsense I can feel the spirit making my body numb even I'm trying to drink very slow. Didn't notice the time it's almost nine pm but he still ordering more, I have to stop him so I invited him to have a walk along the beach, the crowd is gone though I still hear the loud music. We are walking on the sand but non of us break the silence. I remember my Master, where is he now? What is he doing right this moment? I'm smiling but I can't help the tears running down my face. I miss him. It's been a while when he traveled to UK and the communication had gone sporadic. I feel the emptiness. I need him.
I feel Alexander's hand on my shoulder.
Alexander: Can I asked you something?
Darkspore: yes ofcourse please go ahead.
Trying to hide my shuttered voice and tears, though he can't see as the light from the nearby establishment is not to far.
Alexander: What if a guy asked you for a relationship would you give a try?
Will you accept him to be a part of you? What attracts you in men?
Darkspore: If he can subdue my mind, if he can make me tremble with his voice, he can keep me grounded from all my stubbornness, if he can make me fold like a leaf in the storm definitely yes I will, with all my heart...
I heard Alex is sighing but didn't say anything. I don't know if he really understands what I mean. My phone beeps the light turns purple it's an email. I open it immediately and I'm very surprised it's my Master, yes it's him. I'm smiling in tears I feel I'm alive again my thirst is quench a little. Alexander is watching me I can't hide the tears and smiles from him he can see it very clear through the light from my phone.
Alexander: you look beautiful when your smiling with your eyes in happiness, I guess SMS you received is the reason and Im happy to know someone can make you smile like that. We've been going out for 6 months and this is the first time I saw in that very genuine smile.
But after reading the whole mail my world begun to stop.
Mail from Master: I just landed safe at Changi Airport and I'm expecting you at Carlton hotel by 10:30 pm. I'm waiting.
What the heck I'm dead meat. The smile on face turns sour.
I thought he will touch down in KL? He said he will be back on October as he said on his last mail.How can I present myself? I'm drunk. It's already 9:50 in the evening I don't have much time to go home dress myself properly. Alexander is talking but my ears is shut. I hurriedly walk to the car park while he is following me talking but I didn't answer. When we hop in the car I asked him to drop me at Carlton not to my place.
Alexander: please tell me what is going on? Why do you need to go to Carlton? Who are you meeting there?
Darkspore: Alex please let's talk about this next time. Please
Alexander: ok
We didn't talk until we reach carlton. I gave him a hug and said thank you and run off to the entrance off the hotel.
I saw my Master waiting and smiling holding a bunch of white roses. I took one of his hand and kiss them. His smile suddenly wipe off from his face. I bow on head.
Master M: let's go
He didn't pass the roses to me his voice turn cold and his reaction is blank.
I'm sure he is disappointed to see me.
We reach the room and as I entered he slammed the door.
I kneel infront of him.
I hear his deep sigh of disappointment.
Master M: Where did you go and when did you learn to drink? Who is that person?
Darkspore: I'm with a friend. We had a drink.
Master M: I know you had drink. I can see! I'm asking who is that Herod? What is his name? Where have you been? Exact place, how long your been together? The whole day? 3hours? 10hours? Since yesterday? What? And did I permit you to drink hard liquor?
Darkspore: His name is Alexander, an old friend. We were at Tanjong beach club in Sentosa since 5this afternoon.No Sir you didn't permit me to drink I know I'm wrong. Are you also going to ask what did I drink? A few shot of vodka.
Master M: Are you kidding me? A shot of vodka? You want me to believe you? Ha? I shot of vodka won't make you look like crazy, I'm so ashamed of you! Do you know that? I'm so embarrassed to see you. What I'm expecting to see is my property decently dress, smiling and proud to meet me. But what I saw is a disgusting, very indecent, drunk, oh shit of you! You look like a whore.
walk on your knees and face the wall and hands on your back now!
I didn't answer him and start to walk on my knees,the floor is hard and I can feel the pain on my knees. I only made 3 step I guess, when I he gasped my neck firmly.
Master M: and now your being rude! I demand an answer when I tell you to do something. And may I remind you that the only answer I want to hear is nothing but YES SIR! Do you understand?
Darkspore: Yes Sir
My tears start to fall as he let go my neck and start walking on my knees again. My mind is starting to rebel against my Master if only he know how I feel when he left and didn't contact me.
I finally reach the wall rest my forehead against the wall, with pain on my knees, dizzy and crying though I didn't sob as I don't want him to hear me. I felt him beside me he move his hands fiercely on my chest and squeeze my nipples i can feel the pain but I didn't complain nor made any remorseful action. I hear him sighing again. He lift my dress and revealed my ass, slide his two fingers on my pussy and stood up. Sit on the bed and remain silent for a few minutes he lay down and wrapped himself himself under the blanket while I'm left still kneeling on the floor.
Master M: Going out for a drink with a guy in a very enticing dress without underwear and bra.
Disgusting!Did that Herod ever kiss or touch you?
Darkspore: Yes he did a friendly kiss and hug.
Master M: That's not what I mean. Did he fuck you? Darkspore: No Sir if he fuck I wouldn't be here.
Did you ever ask me why I went out? Did you ever asked me how many times I went out with a friend? You left me! You didn't talk to me. I thought you gone for good. You're in my mind day and night waiting. You told me you will be back by October but you didn't assure me of anything. You're so cold to me. You're cruel. You didn't care on my feelings. I'm like a seed that you sow in the soil but you left me in a dark room no water, no sun. How do you expect me to grow.
Master M: Stop justifying your nonsense attitude.
Darkspore: ok fine!
Master M: stand up and take your things.
I stand up and straight to the bathroom wash my face and fix myself take a deep breath and walk out of the room. I hear his foot step following me we get into the lift to the taxi stand but no one dares to speak. Just wondering why is he still tailing me, he already drive me out of his room he open the door of the taxi and get in but I heard his voice asking me to move and he get in. What is he trying to tell me. I promise myself I won't talk to him no matter what. We reach my place without any words. He put his arms around my waist trying to help me walk properly he find my access card for the lift and before he left he kiss my forehead and hug me. That melts my heart I knew I was wrong it's my fault.
I reach 24th floor straight to the shower, it's very late and I have to sleep tomorrow I have to catch up and pay for my insolence.
It's 7:30 Sunday morning, my phone is ringing, upon seeing the caller my sleepiness is gone, I heard a cold voice on the other line...
.. listen very carefully young lady, get up on your bed and wear a simple dress, just up the knee. Choose a plain but make sure it will reveal your body curve and no underwear and bra inside. Don't take your shower nor dare to wash your face though your allowed to do your oral hygiene just ORAL HYGIENE and your also allowed to drink water no coffee.
And he's gone. I force myself to wake up even though I feel so dizzy And sleepy And my head is very painful. I pack my bag and straight to the bathroom. Mumbling on myself what did that monkey say? Only oral hygiene? Seriously what about my pussy am I not going to wash it? Sigh...
Ah I don't care ok let see if he can still eat me. I'm pretty sure it's very clean I can't smell anything, my diet is good and I'm healthy. Whatever!
I reach Carlton at exactly 8:35 am I saw him waiting on the lobby. I greeted him but no response at all. He put his arms on my shoulder and we walk quietly to lift. After the lift door shuts he drag me close to him, his hands are already under my dress, he cupped them by his hands and squeeze my nipples and before I push him on hand had already reach my thighs and used his knee to spread my legs apart while his two fingers is sliding on my clit. He only stop when we reach the floor where he is staying. Im not sure which floor. This is the scariest part for me what is he going to do now? He run down the water in the tub. I don't what is he planning to do. I just put down my bag and remain silent. His strong arms grab me and bend me over his lap while he sits on the coffee table. And before I complain he gather my hands and tightly held them. He Lift up my dress to reveal my ass at first he gently touch it. I feel relieved.
Master M: Tell me My Rose is it right to go out with a guy without underwear and bra in a short dress?
Darkspore: No Sir
Slapped on my ass thats quite painful...
Master M:Did I permit you to drink?
Darkspore:No Sir..
Another slapped on my ass..much harder than the first one.
Master M: Did I allow you to defend yourself when I'm trying to point out your mistakes?
Darkspore:No Sir..
Another slapped on my ass but its really hard im pretty sure my ass turns into apple pink.
He lift me up like a paper and bring me to bathroom. Without a word he soak me in the tub, oh shit! The water is cold. And the tub is really full of water.
He grab me neck and press my chin. That's hurt.
Master M: listen My Rose when you gave up to my dominance, you gave up your right to decide in certain things in your life. I will call and mail you if I want. I will tell you when to wear or not to wear underwear and bra. I decide when to drink and not to drink I will choose what kind of alcohol you can take. I will decide if you can go out with a guy or not. I own you, you're my property your mind is mind so as with your body. Do you understand?
Darkspore: Yes Sir...
Master M: Who owns you?
Darkspore: Master M.
Master M: bear that in your mind.
Keep your up so you won't get drown, you will stay there until I get back.
I saw him wear his shoes and left the room. I'm shivering in cold. My tears start to fall . Fuck you Sir I'm not a drug addict to be soak in cold water. But I can't do anything. 30 mins pass I heard him back he peeps in the bathroom door.
Darkspore: Sir please have mercy on me I'm so cold.
Master M: did I allow you to talk? I said I will decide how long you will stay there.
Darkspore: you told me after you come back, now you're back .
Master M: mmmmmmppp very stubborn...
One more word and you will stay there for another one hour.
I feel more helpless, my neck is tired. I'm cold. My head is painful, my belly needs food. Fuck kind of life. 15 mins pass he finally decided to release the water, but still didn't allow me stand up.
Master M: you brought this chaos upon yourself. I hope you learnt the lesson that you need to learn.
He took the towel and try me. He lift me again and lay me down on his bed. Covered me with his blanket and sits beside me.
Master M: try to sleep close your eyes. I have to finish some work but im staying beside you. I don't know how I fall sleep.
I was awake by a gentle touch on my face when I open my eyes I saw him. Still no blank face. I can't pain his emotions.
Master M: You grow thinner, your eyebrows are not reshape. Your lips are dry. Your nails are not done. What is going on?
Darkspore: nothing I'm just tired.
Master M: don't tell me nothing I know you. I'm back
Now tell me.
I pouted on him.
Darkspore: my belly needs food I'm starving ..
Master M: ok get up we will go down for lunch
But we are not done yet My Rose.
Before we go down drink this ..
Darkspore: what is this? Tomato juice? I don't like this no way
Master M: will you stop acting like a kid and drink. You haven't paid your offence now your starting again.
I almost cry I hate tomato juice. But I can't do anything. We finish lunch and back to the hotel room. He took his laptop and open a new document. He pass it to me and asked me type what he say.
Master M:you will live under my rules this is the only the beginning.
I will see if you can really obey me.
1. You are obliged to eat a proper meal, a complex carbs in the morning.no coffee stop drinking coffee.
Lunch should be a bit of carbs, fish or poultry and vegetables.
Dinner is very light salads and lean meat, and yogurt. You are allowed to have snacks in between meals fruits or teas. You can have dessert 3x a week. But don't take too much sugary dessert and snacks. Sunday is your cheat day, you can eat anything you want.
Darkspore:can I have my cappuccino on Sundays? please... please ....Sir
Master M: mmmmmmppp ok you can have it but only when I'm not with you. I don't want any smell of coffee from you. One more thing decrease your meat intake especially red meat . Choose plant base protein if possible.
Darkspore: ok thanks for letting me have my coffee
I smiled at him and kiss his hands.
Master M:I want to change your sleeping habits. You should retire in your bed at 10pm shut down all gadgets. Phone, TV, computer, audio players. You have to sleep early and have enough rest. Except ofcourse on the occasions that you have REALLY to stay ( work related issues only) up late but you must sleep before midnight. It would be good if you can sleep at 11pm on those exceptional occasions.
Darkspore: what about Saturday evening can I stay up late to catch up on my movies? please...I can sleep longer on Sundays, besides I'm not a kid anymore.
Master M: you're not a kid yes but your behaving like one. Saturday you can stay up till 11pm. That's final.Listen this is very important, dress properly in public and wear underwear and bra unless I order you not to do so, no more dressing like a bitch as I said unless i order it. Grow your hair. And I will decide on your haircut once it grows.
Darkspore: but I'm having headache when my hair grows that's why I cut it short
Master M: that's a lie you're not having enough sleep that's what I know.
Stop negotiating.
Now unlock your phone and pass me.
I pass him my phone and he started reading my sms on all the apps installed.
Master M: I will delete your profile on some of the installed apps block and delete Some Herods on your contacts. These are the reasons of your headache and health issues. No more flirting around My Rose.
You can go out with your friends and have a drink but only white or red wine. That's final. You can chat with your mail friends upon my knowledge.
These are very simple rules that I want you to follow. Read it loud so I can see if you omitted any words.If it is completely done paste and send to your email. Read it everyday when you wake up in the morning and before you sleep to remind yourself that your mind and body belongs to me.
After reading infront of him I sent to my email. Though I'm mind starts to rebel against the rules.
I shut his computer and remain sitted on the coffee table. He stand at the back of my chair and pull my hair, he start kissing my forehead going down to my lips I can feel his warm breath on my mouth, Master's lips are very soft. I love the way he bites my lower lips. A tiny moan slips from my mouth I show him i want more I try to touch his face with my hands but he gathered them quickly and I can't move. He released my hair from pulling and tease my nipples. It's getting hard. He reveal them and play them with his tongue. I can't help myself again a moan slip from my mouth. I tried to kiss him but he denied it. He tighten his grasp on my hands. His one hands starts to run down on my belly down to my thighs, sliding it back and forth on my clit, giving me a dose of ecstasy. The warm sensation consume my doubts, my pain, all reservations. Master's felt the comfort in me, His hands are now faster I feel his greed to possess me. His mouth are busy sucking, biting nipples and his two fingers are inside my wet cunt examining my sanctum. I bite my lips in pleasure though I tried to be quite but a small voice calling his name slips off from mouth begging him not to stop, wanting for more, hunger to be fuck and satisfied. Without a word he lift me up and lay me down on his bed, this time his gentleness is gone he forced to spread my legs and grab my neck though it's hurts but I love his strength against my body.
Master M: Do you want this?
Darkspore: yes Sir with all my heart..
My voice is shuttered, my body starts to tremble. For the first time I saw his wholeness, totally naked. I paint a smile in my mind is filled with naughty thoughts.
Master M: You will receive my seed for the first time I will fill you with every drop. Tell me My Rose who owns your body? Who owns your pussy? Who is your Master.
Darkspore:
My body, my mind and my pussy belongs to my one and only Master M.
I don't know how I was able to answer him, I feel his throbbing cock ready to devour me little wet cunt. And yes in without a word he big and hard cock penetrated me I breath hard and I burried my face on his shoulder, he start moving in and out of me very gentle...But as I start closing my pelvic when he pull his cock out he feel his getting faster and hit me harder. I feel so completely overwhelmed. I'm moaning and whispering his name I lost my mind I'm exploding, but I'm embarrassed when he stop moving and look into my eyes, he moves very slow.
When he notice I lost my concentration he starts pushing his cock hard deep again inside of me. Fast and hard, the harder he push the harder I suck his cock using my pelvic muscle. He like a beast devouring me. He didn't stop until I heard him moan release all his inside of me I feel it. My pussy start to overflow. But I feel embarrassed he finished his orgasm what about me? He turn and lay on the bed. I curl on my belly and clench my fist and teeth out of disappointment. I cried in frustration close my eyes my let my tears cleanse my emotion. We are in that position for while no one dares to speak not me never! I won't talk to this monkey. I felt his movement, he draw me close to him but I moan in disagreement. He start kissing my shoulder but I push him away. I'm disappointed go away. But he his stronger he pull my hair and crossed his legs on my belly I can't move at all. His mouth is on my ears I'm hoping his not going to bite it.
Master M: Why do you avoid me? Why do you push me? I will kiss you and touch you if I want, I can fuck you if I want. And you have no right to say no your in my bed. You are mine I will used you the way I want. Do you understand My Rose?
Darkspore: yes Sir please let go my hair it hurts.
Master M: I don't care learn to put yourself to where you belong and you won't get hurt. Remember I will decide if you will have orgasm or not.
He is greedy kissing me, my lips almost bleed his tongue is roughly inside my mouth. His hands are squeezing my nipples. I want to scream. He grab me and let me kneel on the floor, he forcibly open my mouth and ask me to suck his cock I almost choked when push all inside. Order me suck properly his shaft he let me swallow his lube.
Master M: Remember all the rules I set. Until you learn your lesson you will be punish.
The more you rebel against me I will be hard on you now suck my cock.
I was crying in pain he is still grabbing my hair. this is enough I told myself I will ask my release I can't take it anymore. But I can't find the strength to speak the word He pause a little while and let go my hair I fall down on the floor I feel all my strength is gone. He bend down and pick me up. He cuddles me on his lap and start kissing me gently passionate and with care. He kiss my eyes full of tears. He wipe them away and continue kissing me. His hands move gently, rubbing my back, his fingers found my nipples again but this time not squeezing. He plays them like a precious jewels. Gradually my pain and reservations are fading away again. My rebellious thoughts are surrendering to his arms. I just let him do what he wants. He kiss me from head to my neck to my breast in which he stays there long and his finger is rubbing my clit softly.I bite my lips and moan, I feel the warmth of his mouth going down on my thighs. He spread my legs and start licking my clit. I finally released my lust to be satisfied. It's feels like a little bit of heaven on earth. He order me to free myself. I lost control of myself, a long and loud moan slips from my mouth calling his name...that's beautiful...
A tear drops from my eyes but not a tear of pain but of pleasure. He is still down there gathering all my juices on his tongue. He kiss me and ask me to taste swallow his saliva.
Master M: now you know how tasty you are. You're nectar are like antidote to me and you have to maintain that taste.
I smiled and nodded my head. I also him if I could suck his cock he permits me. I fix my eyes in him as I give him blow job no more hesitation I play his shaft with my tongue. Lick it back and forth. Suck his balls while I gently stroke his hard cock. He pull me up with his strength, and laid on top of me. I'm smiling at him his hard and beautiful is very welcome I inside of me , I feel he gently push it inside I hug him tight. He is moving with care. My body meet the rhythm of his body. I'm enjoying sucking his cock with my pelvic muscle he moves faster, rough and hard but I love the way he pounds me until we both reach the beautiful climax together. Our souls intertwined filling each others hunger and thirst. We both smile and doze off hugging each other..
Darkspore: thank you so much for that wonderful pleasure Sir ..im so happy
Master M: now that you tasted pain pleasure the choice is in your hands. You know what to do.
Darkspore: yes Sir I promise I will be better you will be proud of me.
Master M: I'm expecting that.
Rest My Rose ...
I sleep on his chest very calm and safe..
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Weekend Metaphormosis
It's a warm, boring late Saturday afternoon, my eyes are tired reading. Wearing a slight, plain knee leveled dress without underwear and bra, I decided to find some street food, my dress is brushing on my two tiny nipples as I walk making them hard. I have to pass the guard through the back gate and I saw how he stared on my chest, I just smiled and passed. Unfortunately before I crossed the road, one of my pure vanilla friend called me asking me if I could go out with him for a walk at the park nearby. I didn't insist anyway its weekend and I don't have to cook for the family they are all off to the city.
I have to be hurry the monkey will reach my place in 25 mins, hhhaayy here am I again I don't know what to wear. Huuufff I don't have much time to think I just picked a floral sleeveless dress but 3inches up the knee but still I didn't wear anything inside. Apply a very light touch of make up and lip gloss and run to the door.
Just in Time I saw his car park at the road near the back gate. He is very gentleman, upon seeing me through the side mirror he get off and greet me with a smile and friendly hug and kiss..(conversation)
Alexander:`You are very attractive ..
I think park is not the right place to go my lady. "
Darkspore: So Where are we heading then?
Alexander: Just relax
I smiled as a respond to him. Not long while to know where he is heading Sentosa yes I'm pretty sure. I just keep quiet until we reach the place.
We ended having a few shots of vodka whil talking nonsense I can feel the spirit making my body numb even I'm trying to drink very slow. Didn't notice the time it's almost nine pm but he still ordering more, I have to stop him so I invited him to have a walk along the beach, the crowd is gone though I still hear the loud music. We are walking on the sand but non of us break the silence. I remember my Master, where is he now? What is he doing right this moment? I'm smiling but I can't help the tears running down my face. I miss him. It's been a while when he traveled to UK and the communication had gone sporadic. I feel the emptiness. I need him.
I feel Alexander's hand on my shoulder.
Alexander: Can I asked you something?
Darkspore: yes ofcourse please go ahead.
Trying to hide my shuttered voice and tears, though he can't see as the light from the nearby establishment is not to far.
Alexander: What if a guy asked you for a relationship would you give a try?
Will you accept him to be a part of you? What attracts you in men?
Darkspore: If he can subdue my mind, if he can make me tremble with his voice, he can keep me grounded from all my stubbornness, if he can make me fold like a leaf in the storm definitely yes I will, with all my heart...
I heard Alex is sighing but didn't say anything. I don't know if he really understands what I mean. My phone beeps the light turns purple it's an email. I open it immediately and I'm very surprised it's my Master, yes it's him. I'm smiling in tears I feel I'm alive again my thirst is quench a little. Alexander is watching me I can't hide the tears and smiles from him he can see it very clear through the light from my phone.
Alexander: you look beautiful when your smiling with your eyes in happiness, I guess SMS you received is the reason and Im happy to know someone can make you smile like that. We've been going out for 6 months and this is the first time I saw in that very genuine smile.
But after reading the whole mail my world begun to stop.
Mail from Master: I just landed safe at Changi Airport and I'm expecting you at Carlton hotel by 10:30 pm. I'm waiting.
What the heck I'm dead meat. The smile on face turns sour.
I thought he will touch down in KL? He said he will be back on October as he said on his last mail.How can I present myself? I'm drunk. It's already 9:50 in the evening I don't have much time to go home dress myself properly. Alexander is talking but my ears is shut. I hurriedly walk to the car park while he is following me talking but I didn't answer. When we hop in the car I asked him to drop me at Carlton not to my place.
Alexander: please tell me what is going on? Why do you need to go to Carlton? Who are you meeting there?
Darkspore: Alex please let's talk about this next time. Please
Alexander: ok
We didn't talk until we reach carlton. I gave him a hug and said thank you and run off to the entrance off the hotel.
I saw my Master waiting and smiling holding a bunch of white roses. I took one of his hand and kiss them. His smile suddenly wipe off from his face. I bow on head.
Master M: let's go
He didn't pass the roses to me his voice turn cold and his reaction is blank.
I'm sure he is disappointed to see me.
We reach the room and as I entered he slammed the door.
I kneel infront of him.
I hear his deep sigh of disappointment.
Master M: Where did you go and when did you learn to drink? Who is that person?
Darkspore: I'm with a friend. We had a drink.
Master M: I know you had drink. I can see! I'm asking who is that Herod? What is his name? Where have you been? Exact place, how long your been together? The whole day? 3hours? 10hours? Since yesterday? What? And did I permit you to drink hard liquor?
Darkspore: His name is Alexander, an old friend. We were at Tanjong beach club in Sentosa since 5this afternoon.No Sir you didn't permit me to drink I know I'm wrong. Are you also going to ask what did I drink? A few shot of vodka.
Master M: Are you kidding me? A shot of vodka? You want me to believe you? Ha? I shot of vodka won't make you look like crazy, I'm so ashamed of you! Do you know that? I'm so embarrassed to see you. What I'm expecting to see is my property decently dress, smiling and proud to meet me. But what I saw is a disgusting, very indecent, drunk, oh shit of you! You look like a whore.
walk on your knees and face the wall and hands on your back now!
I didn't answer him and start to walk on my knees,the floor is hard and I can feel the pain on my knees. I only made 3 step I guess, when I he gasped my neck firmly.
Master M: and now your being rude! I demand an answer when I tell you to do something. And may I remind you that the only answer I want to hear is nothing but YES SIR! Do you understand?
Darkspore: Yes Sir
My tears start to fall as he let go my neck and start walking on my knees again. My mind is starting to rebel against my Master if only he know how I feel when he left and didn't contact me.
I finally reach the wall rest my forehead against the wall, with pain on my knees, dizzy and crying though I didn't sob as I don't want him to hear me. I felt him beside me he move his hands fiercely on my chest and squeeze my nipples i can feel the pain but I didn't complain nor made any remorseful action. I hear him sighing again. He lift my dress and revealed my ass, slide his two fingers on my pussy and stood up. Sit on the bed and remain silent for a few minutes he lay down and wrapped himself himself under the blanket while I'm left still kneeling on the floor.
Master M: Going out for a drink with a guy in a very enticing dress without underwear and bra.
Disgusting!Did that Herod ever kiss or touch you?
Darkspore: Yes he did a friendly kiss and hug.
Master M: That's not what I mean. Did he fuck you? Darkspore: No Sir if he fuck I wouldn't be here.
Did you ever ask me why I went out? Did you ever asked me how many times I went out with a friend? You left me! You didn't talk to me. I thought you gone for good. You're in my mind day and night waiting. You told me you will be back by October but you didn't assure me of anything. You're so cold to me. You're cruel. You didn't care on my feelings. I'm like a seed that you sow in the soil but you left me in a dark room no water, no sun. How do you expect me to grow.
Master M: Stop justifying your nonsense attitude.
Darkspore: ok fine!
Master M: stand up and take your things.
I stand up and straight to the bathroom wash my face and fix myself take a deep breath and walk out of the room. I hear his foot step following me we get into the lift to the taxi stand but no one dares to speak. Just wondering why is he still tailing me, he already drive me out of his room he open the door of the taxi and get in but I heard his voice asking me to move and he get in. What is he trying to tell me. I promise myself I won't talk to him no matter what. We reach my place without any words. He put his arms around my waist trying to help me walk properly he find my access card for the lift and before he left he kiss my forehead and hug me. That melts my heart I knew I was wrong it's my fault.
I reach 24th floor straight to the shower, it's very late and I have to sleep tomorrow I have to catch up and pay for my insolence.
To be continue...
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A guy who claim to be dominant offers me a training to be a dominant, but I guess to be dominant is natural, for kinkster people they need training for crazy stuff, just don't work on me. I'm saying I'm a Sub but the dominant side of me takes place sometimes.
I'm pretty sure I don't need the training. |
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Abstract Fantasy
7 am Sunday morning my alarm clock is ringing I have to wake up early for my workout, sleepy and lazy but I have to. Jump out of my bed without realising I slept naked. Wash up and wear my running jeans paired with my sports bra. And off I go, while waiting for the lift to I snap myself at big mirror just on our doorstep, I saw my progress i look slimmer, I don't see any lines of underwear on my stretchy sports jeans well, not surprised I'm not wearing underwear while doing workout. Ohhh I remember I'm
having my class at UWC from 10 to 1 pm, to long mmmmmmppp after 30 mins on the treadmill I decided to stop I have to eat first before I go. After a quick shower, I stand up infront of my wardrobe. Here I go again I don't know what to wear! Started talking to myself. How I wish you're here to control this wardrobe so I don't have to be bothered, sigh....😞 anyway I'm going to school so Maybe something sexy and decent.
A white highways jeans and black fitted long sleeve blouse paired with a heels looks perfect for me.
Alright breakfast time two hard boiled eggs and Russian smoky tea. It's been 4 months I'm following a strick low carb diet.
I reached UWC just on time the class is about to resume. As usual I took the front seat. I don't know but since the first day of class everyone chose to take the seats at the back. I don't care.
I remember my phone , I have some few emails I started reading while waiting for the computer to load. Surprise a mail from my dom who disappeared for weeks. Finally he wrote me back. Mixed emotions I don't want to read it because I'm scared what he is to say. Questions begins to pop-up on my mind. What and why and never ending why? Finally I found the courage to read it.
`` Good morning -------- ( my name) I'll wait for you at Carlton hotel at exactly 2 pm this afternoon.
That's all? Nothing more? And he even said my name? My name? Not the name he gave me? I started to pout , this is ridiculous! What the fuck is going on ! The whole class is a torture! And we have to extend for another 30 Mins . Oh crap Physically present but mentally absent. I never been into my class like this before I always make sure I end up in the front line.
Finally class is dismissed. I need 10 mins walk to get out of the campus . I'm cursed today! Luckily I saw an empty taxi. I hop in immediately, while on my way my mind is busy. Is going to end up everything today? Is he going to explain why mails went sporadic? Not sporadic no mails at all! Trying to calm myself I just think that he will meet me at the hotel entrance with atleast a stem of white rose , I love white roses.
Sigh....the angel and the devil in my mind are fighting. The other one says don't hope too much! And the other said everything will be fine!
Reached Carlton at exactly 2.
Take a deep breath and walk with confidence. I didn't do something wrong.
Wearing a smile I step in. I saw him from the entrance. No smile in his face. Mmppp I smell something fishy here. I greeted him a smile with sadness on my eyes. He didn't smile at all he kiss my chin and that's all . I don't know if I give him a hug or a kiss in his hands or what?
I heard his firm voice, not angry not cold, not sweet, I don't blank emotion. He asked me if I had my lunch I said I'm not hungry. He didn't say anything. He took my hands and guide me to the restaurant.. I don't know if I should look at the menu or not he wave his hands to the waiter and pass the order sheet. I remain silent. My mind starts to rebel against him. He didn't even ask what i want? Fuck you Sir that's what my mind says.
How can I break the ice? Is he going to talk ? Ah maybe he swallowed his tongue? No no he is too hungry he doesn't have the strength to talk. No he fucked too hard last night or this morning with a girl. No he is troubled. No lost his mind. Oh shit! How can be a narrow minded without hearing what he is going to say. But when is he going to speak?
Finally I decided to speak maybe he's just waiting for me to break the silence. I look at his eyes and smile.
How are you Sir?
That's the only words I can utter. He look at me at said
``did I permitted you to talk?
I'm sorry Sir that's what I replied.
Food arrive and it interrupt our conversation. Is that a conversation? Mmppp don't know. I'm glad he ordered my favourite mushroom soup. Atleast he didn't forget how I love mushroom soup. We finish lunch without talking anymore I didn't dare to speak after the fail first attempt.
He guide me back to the hotel. The freezing cold of his room penetrates my skin. He drag me into to his face and whisper
Took off everything you have now.
I feel the warm sensation runs into my veins. What will be his reaction if he finds out I'm not wearing underwear? Oh no if only I knew I'm meeting him I should have wear something better than a cotton jeans and blouse.
``are you disobeying me young lady? He whispered behind my ears ...
I started to undress myself infront of him while he sits in the coffee table. Still in a blank emotion.
`` you're not wear underwear?
He ask..
I replied in a nervous No Sir
Turn around slowly and present yourself. Lift up your hands ..
Thats the order I heard I did what he want.
`` now lay down on the bed on your belly while your feet on the floor with your hands on your back.
Oh I feel like im going to throw up in nervousness. I feel the tip of his fingers running from my feet to my ears very gentle and I started to calm down and feel safe. He rub my shoulder gently. And ask me to lay on my back.
He carry me gently and put me on the pillow. He cover me under the blanket and lay down beside me. I don't know what to do. I gather all my strength and put my head on his chest while I hug him. He turns around and wrapped me around his arms kissing my hair and gently rubbing my skin. I feel I'm home.
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Bisexuals are not welcome in my inbox.
I'm a straight woman please stop asking me silly stuff.
Thank you! |
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HOME TO ME
I was lost and broken
Then you took me home and
Made me yours
And in my darkest hour
In you i found power
You made me shine
You know my soul like the back of your hand
We've been each other's shelter and strength through time
Ever aware
Your the one I know
Safe in your arms
I am home to you, I am home to you
And no matter where
Or how far you go
When all is done
Please come home to me, please come home to me
Peace of mind knowing
We keep our love going
Faithful and strong
We chase our dreams out there
But in the end we know where
You and i belong
With feet on the ground
As we reach for the stars
Time will never ever
Find us apart for long
“
Find us apart for long
Performed by my favourite male song Artist but I would love to Sing this to the one who can create in my heart and mind a reason to fall on my knees....
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Somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence;
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near.
Your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
touching skillfully, mysteriously.
Or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;
nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the color of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing.
I do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses,
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
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If a woman is not submissive to a man, it is not because she lacks the ability to submit, rather he lacked the ability to create in her heart and mind the reason to fall on her knees .
ANONYMOUS |
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When things are unclear silence is better, I just admire how a person who cares understand that silence when they rush to reach me out of that distance. |
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The feeling of being strong and proud gives courage, but no one can compare to the feeling of sweet surrender, being weak under the power of a strong man, lie down on his feet and be sheltered and lost on his arms...
Yearning..... |
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It's not about how much a sub can get and receive, it's about how much can she give and offer.
Let's put it this way; I'm a sub and my task is to fill a drum with water and to let it flow in order for me to have enough water for consumption. Literally I'm using a spoon to fill, instead of directly used a water system or pail to make it faster or easier, sounds funny!
OK I'll cut it short submission is all about emptying one's self in order to maintain the flow and balance of the relationship, like a drum if it is not filled enough then it won't flow, and the water will be stagnant where in few days or months with will turn into a poisonous chemical that can kill or destroy.
I'm smiling when a sub asked me how much reward did I get?
Sweety my answer is this ;
I don't get anything or something, my priceless and most precious reward is the joy and contentment that I see in the eyes of a master.
Good master knew where do you lack, and as a master he knows when and how much he can give.
He knew your weakness and strength , he knows when to stand on your side.
He knew your limits, and boundaries.
Don't ask what you can get rather learn how to fill and I assure you you will receive not only double portion but hundreds of folds.
Well this post is very common just feel like writing.
Happy weekend belovedz... |
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Writing provided by dominantguide.com - I felt the need to share.
1) Do what you’re told. Not just when you want to, not just when it’s easy, but every single time. If you’ve suddenly decided you’re a free agent that’s a conversation for negotiation in whatever format that takes in your dynamic. Until then, less talking, more obeying.
2) Keep your commitments. If me/you/we have decided on a certain protocol you’re expected to follow through. Nothing sucks the magic out of a D/s interaction faster than when BOTH people let protocols lapse and drift by the wayside. If you act like a part-time sub expect to be treated like one.
3) Try to be just a little less self-centered. The journey of submission is all about YOU, I get it. Truthfully all of us Doms get it, but there is an illusion here that needs to be maintained, and when every check-in boils down to how things are going for you and you don’t bother to ask, “How are you, are you satisfied, are you getting what you need out of me, how can I improve our shared experience?” It makes you look kinda shallow.
4) Don’t compare yourself to other people. Whether you’re poly or monogamous, every time you look at another person and say: “I’ll bet he likes them more than me.” You’re essentially saying “I don’t trust you, I don’t trust us, I don’t really believe that you want me like you say you do.” We are with you for a reason. Not receiving the desire we feel for you is deeply insulting.
5) Sacrifice. This is the deeper side of D/s, it’s where the givers separate themselves from the users. There is nothing that builds a connection faster than doing something unpleasant, when you don’t want to, without being asked, without seeking praise. It’s also very easy to take for granted, which is why you should take your time and don’t give yourself to a Dom who’s a shithead.
6) Own your tantrums. You have feelings, deep intense feelings, if you didn’t you probably wouldn’t be a sub. I encourage you to learn to track when the kettle is about to boil so together we can point the steam in a safe direction. When you fuck up though, and I get a face full of hot water, and you say bad things, you need to accept that in the morning you’ll be held accountable for the things you said even if you didn’t really mean them. This can be a tough pill to swallow, which brings us to our next point:
7) Take it with grace. Ritual and submission are amazing tools to refocus the mind and de-escalate emotions, but the collar is not a magic ring, YOU make the magic. You make it by catching yourself, by breathing into your rituals, by transforming frustration and stress into submission and present moment awareness. Each repetition is a form of emotional alchemy much in the same way that CBT thought-stopping is, (that’s Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, not Cock and Ball Torture, you perverts).
8) Help us to evolve. I’m talking about recognizing that every human being is a little bit lost in their own way, and the difference is that Doms don’t have someone constantly fixating on how to guide us into being better versions of ourselves. Deftly guiding power figures in the directions they need to go is the forte’ of the masterful submissive, and the difference between that and manipulation is that you always have the person’s own interests at heart, even when they conflict with your own. It’s easy to love a Dom as an archetype or a caricature, but to both Dom and sub) are emotionally broken jackasses. Sorry, I’m a dick.
10) Cut us some ‘effin slack for god sakes. Being a Dom is a LOT of work, it requires time, focus, and a wide open emotional bandwidth. It takes discipline to hold your ground when things are difficult, knowing that if you repair them with vanilla ‘bargaining’ tactics you will also dissolve the dynamic in the process. As a sub starts to see you as more human, it gets harder. When she/he gets to the “resistance” stage of the relationship, it gets harder. As real life starts to throw you curve balls, it gets harder. Aside from the emotional aspect of things, what it takes to keep things fresh and interesting is an aspect that is hard to appreciate until you’re the one in charge. The thing they don’t tell you about being a Dom is that even if you have the gravitas to make a girl melt, if you don’t have the creativity to constantly invent and reinvent new twists on a very old theme, you’re just a tall dark stranger standing there with your dick in your hand. Sometimes I think this is why geeks end up being better Doms than their smokey eyed, jack-booted, ‘true dom’ counterparts.
The point here is that the big “D” takes more than you think and there are going to be days, even weeks when we’re not going to be able to pull it off. I can tell you from experience that nothing means more to a Dom than when you still keep your rituals even through the thin times. Holding that space shows your strength, and you can take tremendous pride in serving with poise where your vanilla counterpart might be nagging and whining. With your devotion you pull us back like a compass, beckoning towards what is truly important, this secret journey of trust and growth that we are both on together. |
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