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DaddysAngel7

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Friends:
DarqueDauphinMasterKRGDejaavuBCDominantM2obeyand2serve
ACollardSub4MeblackpunisherjockmaximumeverlastbbcBigBlkManLkn
XavierRpeteyboSirTonyLove

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"Far beneath the winter snow, lies the seed, that with the suns love in the spring, becomes THE ROSE." Is it spring yet? I need, I want and I crave to serve a Master. I am very submissive at heart. It is natural for me to defer to a man and give him that control. I like the feeling of being under his command. I am a smart, intelligent woman but also like to show my little girl side.

I love the mental as much as the kink. I hope to find a Master or Daddy. I am also interested in DD relationship. Would love to a find good balance of BDSM, DD and Vanilla....a relationship in which I can serve, give, love and flourish in. What goes on for my Master and me is between us...I don't flaunt it for all to see. He will see me as a woman and lady in the public eye but we both know I am his lil girl and nasty little slut to own and do with what he desires.

About my personal life: I have children that still live at home with me. They are not young but young enough that they still need my attention and guidance. They do not live with me full time but are with me every other week. That makes me unrelocatable at this time. I am divorced from a very vanilla relationship of over 20 years for almost 5 years now and it's been a journey of discovering the real me. I'm discovering I like myself and who I am becoming. I'm a work in progress with a great deal of potential just beneath the surface. I enjoy many vanilla activities but my greatest joy is the time spent with my children. I'm dedicated in all my relationships and believe honesty and openess are key in all of them. I want to grow in a relationship with my Master. I don't need more then one and am not looking to become part of a poly household. M/s is not just about getting my kinks on or being controlled sexually for me. I don't want just a one night stand. For me there is a deep connection of intimacy that happens through a power exchange. As much as I am expected to surrender mentally, physically and emotionally to my Master, I want him to take me with that same intensity. It is not an overnight process.

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7/1/2014 11:06:40 AM
Happy Canada Day...........Where are all the Canadian black men?

4/28/2014 8:23:25 AM

Is there no one in the Okanagan?


3/24/2014 8:36:13 AM

Spring is here and the sun is trying to make it's way out.  Few hours of it for the past few days amongst the clouds....it's a start.  It feels wonderful.  In my new home and now that the snow is pretty much gone, can't wait to see what pops up in the front flower beds.  There is something I can tell, but whatever it is I willl be adding a few rose bushes.  Looking forward to getting out there and digging.  Back yard is a little muddy yet for planting and needs a fair bit of clieaning up.  Two nice size beds for a garden...gonna be a plentiful year.  :)  Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait.

 

New home, new job, new flowers, .... now just need a new man.  :)


12/24/2013 3:54:17 PM

Wishing everyone a VERY MERRY AND BLESSED CHRISTMAS.  Spending the day with my amazing children for which I am so thankful for.


12/21/2013 7:14:17 PM

Some days I feel like life is a constant up hill battle.  It never seems to get any easier.  The harder I try I just seem to disappoint.  I thought by the time I was this age I would have most things figured out and life wouldn't necessarily be smooth sailing but it would certainly not be as rough and windy as has been.  I thought by now I would be enjoying a little more.

 

It's hard to believe in yourself when it seems all you do is let people down.  Just trying to make your way in this world doesn't seem to be good enough.  This world is cruel and there are days I don't want to be in it anymore.  Hope and faith don't seem to get you very far anymore. Neither does honesty, integrity and certainly not a gentle spirit.   If you don't have tough skin, they chew you up and spit you out.


11/6/2013 10:24:34 AM

Two more weeks and my son finds out his fate........jail or boot camp.  Hoping he will get boot camp as long as he doesn't screw up till then.

 

Still no job.  Thought I would have one by now.  My mind won't settle down with all the worries.  Worry about my kids and will I be able to provide for them, just not doing a very good job at it right now.   Need to stop worrying so much so I can buckle down and focus more.


10/19/2013 8:44:20 PM

Today I am filled with mixed emotion.  I graduated today.  I should be happy and elated that I finished and in someway I am but I'm also a bit scared because now I need to find a job and provide for my family.  I tend to doubt my abilities and often feel like I won't fit in.   I'm good at what I do though and need to have more faith in myself.  It's also hard to be excited about it to when I miss my son and worry so much about him.  Haven't spoke to him in 3 days.   I wonder what is going on in his mind.  I wonder how he is holding up.  You want so much for your kids and when you see them go astray it is so heartbreaking.   I want him to own up to things but instead he's learning to not trust anyone.  He can be so smart and so dumb at the same time.  I pray he figures it out before it's too late.  My only son and I love him with all my heart.


10/18/2013 11:05:20 PM

Today is a very sad day.  My 15 year old son was shipped off to Juvie.  I miss him more then you can imagine.  He feels betrayed and abandoned by me because I would not let him continue in his destructive behavior. It was me who called the police on him.  He's in a dark and lonely place and feels like I hate him and don't want him, when really I love him with all my heart.  I feel like I did him wrong years ago  Somehow I neglected to see what was going on in him and was not there to help more.  I was too caught up in my own struggles to see how he was struggling, if he was.  He won't open up and share with me.  He's on something, or so they say he is but I don't know what.  His drug test comes up clean but he's been so out of it.  He denies anything.  He lies and won't admit any poor behaviour when to anyone around him it is so obvious.  He's hurting and I can't help him  How inadequite and guilty I feel.  Somehow I feel so responsible for his actions.  Why was not a better parent and not so selfish.  I never meant to be.  Maybe I should have made these tough decisions way back when........  I should have put him in counseling long ago.  Life feels so hard sometimes and I just want to give up. I pray God watches over him where I can't.  I pray my son finds peace in himself and finds the strength to forgive me.  I know he's a kid and kids can do some really stupid things and not see the error of there ways but I pray he finds the will and the strength to do things right and make a better way for himself.  I wish he knew how much he was really loved and that his mom is praying for him everyday.  I want him home but I want him changed and new person.  Honestly, I want things to go back the way they were when he was younger.Such a sweet and innocent boy.  Not full of fear and hopelessnes  I want to see him laugh and smile again.  I want my family back.  I love him. 


4/6/2013 7:46:51 AM

Everything is sex sex sex.  Is that the basis for an M/s relationship?  I didn't think so.....nota lasting one anyway.  I don't want to connect with someone just sexually.  I want love, passion, romance and commitment that will last throughout.  What happened to getting to know someone for the person they are, not just their body sexual servitude.  Where is the care and conern about concern to get to know someone in their everyday life...what they do, what they like....share your triumphs and your defeats.  Where is the friendship and the connectivity on the intellectual and inspirational level.  I want a relationship the lasts and makes sense with someone.  Don't ask me to be your slave because I fit sexually with you. That so easily is adaptable.  I want the whole person and I want them to want me completely.


7/21/2012 6:09:31 PM

I want to run!  I want to feel free!  If only for a moment.    I cannot remember the last time I truly forgot about this world and let my mind be at peace.  Shadows follow me wherever I go.   I don't want to hear the morning bird sing, I want to feel and understand his song in my soul.   I want to join with tallest of trees in their dance to catch the wind.

I want to surrender my soul to the one who knows me like no other.


7/6/2012 7:48:00 AM

It will all work out.  I keep telling myself that everyday, but some days I'm just tired of the struggle.  I figure out one thing only to have one more staring at me in the face.  Does one ever get a breather to just enjoy the moment.  Why does crisis after crisis follow me.  I work hard, I'm honest, I never hurt anyone, I try to take care of all my responsibilities but never can I just relax.  Life constantly feels so uncertain and most definately alone.  I know it sounds like a pity party, but some days I just have to let it out.  I wish I had someone to share this burden with....but honestly...who wants it.


5/6/2012 8:31:24 AM

THE TRANSFORMATION

Once I crawled around on this earth only seeing where my feet would carry me.  .I was shielded and hidden from something I knew not existed by the trees and the shrubs around me.    Life as I knew it was changing.  I had no control over it.  Inside I felt it, knew it.  I needed to rest, to sink deep inside myself and look within.  It was dark and it was lonely.  It needed to happen though otherwise I would not survive.  All around me was busy and I could hear but not touch it.  I was too wrapped up in my outer casings.  Then one day, I felt it.  It was time.   The past was gone and only a fragment of who I was was left.  I needed to be free.  I worked and worked at it till one day I did it.  I broke free of my cacoon.  I crawled out and too my discovery I had wings.  I was not afraid.  I looked down at once where my small world existed but only now it was not so small.  Looking from above I saw so much more and it excited me.   This transformation had ignited all my senses and I felt more alive then I had felt before.  I looked at my wings and world below me.....I smiled and thought to myself, I have changed to become who I was meant to be.   I am free to explore where once I was held captive.  And so the journey began. 


2/12/2012 7:02:44 PM

OMG....I feel raked over the coals.  It is a sad thing when you want something so much that you allow yourself to listen to foolishness and almost succomb to it.  He was powerful and strong from the first words out of his mouth.  He hit me at my core....exposed my deepest need and cravings without a word from me.  I was lured by his intelligence to see through me.   That part was spot on.  But great need does not come before common sense.   I do not submit to someone I know absolutely nothing about, not even seen a picture but tells me he knows what I need and how to develop me.   I'm just supposed to trust him and say ok.  He will set the agenda and when I learn to obey...I guess I will learn who this stranger is.  At least I think so...he never said that.   I am supposed to learn my lessons and he will teach me....he will control me from the inside out.  He will go deeper in me and take more.   It is not I who chooses him but he who claims me.  I have no choice in the matter.  You see, according to him....a "true slave" does not choose her Master.  Not ever....my need dictates that I should submit because he is what I need.   It's not my choice.   Yes he understands the deep needs and cravings of me and my need to be controlled, but he doesn't KNOW me.  I am just supposed to accept he knows what he's doing.  He tells me I know nothing and until I give up thinking I do I will learn nothing.  My refusal to submit to him is insolence and disobedience.  I am "girl" to him, until I have earned the right for my name to be used.  My limits mean nothing to him because he is the one who sets the limits.  I should stop yammering at him about them because he doesn't care.   If I do not submit to his teaching and learn to obey I will continue to serve inept men and will never be happy and always frustrated.    


1/10/2012 6:19:25 PM

Ok....so I know I live in a small town but not that small and there are larger towns surrounding me so why is it no one on here lives near me....really wish I could move.  Gone to munches here and they suck....same people every month.  Gone on countless vanilla dates hoping by chance one of them might be dominant....haha.  Can't move and this site seems to be empty of anyone from my area....what is a girl to do?  


1/1/2012 9:24:57 PM

Happy New Year to all my friends on here.  2011 has been an interesting year for me.  I have not met my Master yet but I have met some wonderful Doms on here.  It is sad that none of them are living in my area.  But my hats off to the many great men I have met on here.  I spent most of 2011 searching and looking for my Master and served a few online. It was a year of changes and growth for me.   Everyone I did serve online I enjoyed very much and will never forget the experiences I had.  Even though none of them turned into something more permanent I learned something from every experience.  For 2012 I think I'm going to do things a little differently.  I will continue to come here but I'm going to take my search for Master out into the real world a little more.  I also think I'm not going to put as much focus on my search and focus more on others areas of my life.  I don't know what 2012 has in store for me but I do hope and pray it is something good.  I struggled so much in 2011 being alone and wanting someone.  Whatever this year brings I'm going to be happy and content with it.  I have a great life here and a great family for which I am truly blessed and it's time for me to focus on that.  I'm scared to get out there on my own and afraid of always being alone but I am going to believe in myself and be happy with my life where I am now.  I really want something positive to offer someone.   As it is I don't feel like I have a whole lot to offer someone.  I really want to be in a better place when I finally do meet someone.  I'm not sure what that looks like but I'm just gonna be me.  So thank you to all the wonderful people in 2011 that I met and I will continue to be happy to make new friends in 2012 and see what it brings.  Life is precious and every moment I'm thankful for.  God bless you all and may we all have a prosperous 2012.


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LatinaBabyGirl
 
 Age: 27
 St Paul, Minnesota