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Thick4You
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SubJectAble
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UPDATE: I am engaged to my beloved I have never been happier He knows how to treat a girl like me. Forever am I yours my beloved.
Ahhhhh me I found that life is as complicated or as easy as you want it to be, thus i try and keep it simple I seek very little I seek one who is true to who he is and can love and be loved. Honesty,compassion and must love life.
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my Daddy has left and gone home to Germany and will not be back till a week before the marriage, it has been a fast 3 weeks of planning things it is good we agree on everything.... our Save the Dates are like none that will be seen they fit our personality, how lucky I am to have finally found the one who is the completion of me, I thought had before but was just a whisper of what was really waiting for me. love you forever and a day |
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The Date is set as well as location, 10/18/2014. Sunset overlooking the lake. |
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Fall wedding ahead any advice? I have the groom my Daddy, my dress of gold and venue over looking the lake at sunset/ |
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I have already started packing, will be moving is coming wednesday to ponca city ok, hard to do I have lived in this house over 15 years, so much stuff to go thru no not selling my house just moving tis time. |
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Ahhhhhhhhh such a dream to be owned by Daddy to take my hand and us go through life Him teaching me all he desires of me. I will be a blessed little girl with a Daddy |
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I am so lucky to have found some great friends on here along with my old ones, |
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My Holiday wish is for all to find there one that they dream of and become as One forever your Ying and Yang...... As for me I have one small dream for the Holidays to find my other half to love and serve till the end as we grow as one together,, HAve a great day. |
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Today was the day of my mom's birth and the second one she was not around to see, it makes me sad that we were not close and I wish that i had the same closeness that i do with my children, my mother never loved me and did not waste a day letting me know it. The fact that i tried every day to make her love me was hard, I remember one day after a holiday that was my children and myself had been invited to she called me the night before and told me that we were no longer invited to it i cried so hard my daughter who at the time was but 10 told me that grandma was not worth it all she did was make me sad,that as a family we would celebrate as our small family so that Christmas my children and myself ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and it was the best Christmas that i can ever remember there was no tears from me after my mother telling me she wished i had died insted of a brother,, I try to remember good times as well but is hard when all you heard the whole time you lived with someone who called you fat, ugly and not worth anything. Lets just say my self esteem was not worth anything at all it took the love of my children to bring my self esteem up. So every day i thank the heavens i have the great children i have and now my wonderful grandchildren,,,, |
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I have made a few very important choices in my life the last couple weeks, First is i am going back to school to become a Teacher, Second I am planning on moving Yea Go me |
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Do you remember when you were young and would lay on the grass and just watch the clouds float by and you would see things like a heart,a elephant or angel? Things were so simple then were they not? So today i pulled out a soft blankie and placed it on the ground something i would of not done when younger lol,, but anyways slide on the sunglasses and just stared into the sky watching the clouds go by sooooooo slowly it was like the earth was standing still..... I saw a dinosaur, a big ole teddy bear, and saw angel wings and the tears started flowing in sadness and in happineess was like He was telling me let them know He is ok...and to let them know he is there and to just feel him, |
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Sunday a very wonderful Master passsed away, in the wake he left all who knew him sad and in tears, it was sudden so no plans were made for his slave, she is going to be homeless soon ,, I have offered to take her in. She had been with Him for 6 years because of no will nothing is in place to help her thru this time, His family has already moved in taking certain things I do not say this in a mean way but I think we do not worry about what will happen to the Master/Dom/Daddy or the slave/submissive or lil girl if something happens to one of them,, I think if living together for a length of time and commited to each other these things need to be thought of, in the long run,, Tis sad and made sadder because all His girls life is turned upside down in distress not knowing what tomorrow will hold for them.. Who wants to think of death but in the past year I have known 3 slaves who were owned and living with thier Master and this Master who was living with his slave leaving them heartbroken with the greatest lose so please please think of this if in a long term real time living together what will happen if the worse happens. Sorry to be a downer but just my humble thoughts ,,, |
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Yesterday a very sweet and loving Master left this earth, He will be greatly missed by all but especially all his girls....
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The first Meeting
The day was here i had worked all day and then was to head to Master i was so scared, i knew i had alot of punishments coming but he said they would come next meeting ,,,, but some how i was still worried cause as Master He had a right to change that to now,,,,
I was told after work go home bathe, dress in my sluttiest outfit and stockings no panties or bra you knew i hated that as i had tried to talk you out of it,,, you also said to bring the remote vib so you can play with me ,,,, we were to meet at a olive garden i was to pull up and wait for you to come to me you finally showed you got in beside me and said give me the remote and i looked at you and then you said toy now...... then you said spread your cunt i was in shock i could not believe you were going to put that in me with no panties on what if it fell out? you laughed and said it better not and then you turned it on a nice slow hummmm seemed like the noise was so loud and i thought i cannot walk in there with that in me every one will look at me and know ,,,, you got out of the car walked around and opened the door for me you stood in front of me and gave me a nice deep kiss as your fingers found my clit i cum so fast and hard ,,,, you said get out and bend over the set like i was getting something,,,, i did as told and before i could breathe you had pushed my skirt up and has slapped my ass ten times i let out a moan of protest and you turned the vibe on full blast and said do not move or cum |
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i fold your laundry and then i iron your shirts and start to daze off i do that alot when you are not around as i miss you so much and the night with out you is so hard then i smell it i have scorched a work shirt i try hard to fix it but it will not ,,i know you are watching me i get down on my knees begging but i hear it the phone and know it is you on the other end i hurry fast crawling across the floor i finally get there and you say Pet you took way to long answering the phone and you knew was me,,,,, i did not say i word as i kwow there is no excuses allowed you then ask what were you thinking when you ruined my shirt i hope was worth what is going to happen now,,,, i say yes Master sorry Master ,,,, you tell me to go to the garage and look behind the door ,,,, i see it is like a wall of nails,,,, you tell me i am to kneel on it head down arms out ,, you are to stay thi s way till i call again the nails are so sharp i can feel them piercing my skin and the blood dripping my knees and my tender breast and arms along with my head ,,,,finally the phone rings and you tell me will you drift again and i say no Sir,, i wait for you to tell me to rise and slowly i rise and start to grab a towel to clean up you tell me you are to let the blood flow so you remember this ,, |
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I close my eyes and i feel your lips as they tease and caress me, your hands upon mine as you bring the right one up and bind me nice and tight, then you repeat with the left one. Your kisses continue down my body knowing i cannot touch you drives me crazy your hands caress my legs and you gently but firmly bind my legs to the bed there i am spread eagle awaiting the flogger upon my body, i feel you teasing me with it kissing my flesh as i moan under the kiss of the leather.
I open my eyes and here i lay all alone wishing you were with me. Where are you >?
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I wish to thank all who commented on my last journal there were so many i have yet to answer all the mails, so do not think i am rude if i do not respond right away. |
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A email i just recieved,,,, from a so called Master named rightstaker,,,,
You are pretty fat aren't you. Another fat assed woman looking for attention and affection.
find a dog to love you No Dom wants any thing as fat and as large as you.
OINK OINK OINK cow, pig, sow, fatso |
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My soul hungers, my spirit is craving, my body aches for touch,my mind is hungry. |
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Master I gave you my mind you expanded it, I gave you my soul and you caressed it, I give you my heart to care for it knowing you will not crush it. I gave you my spirit and you bent it but never broke it. Master I give to you all of me knowing twill be safe as yours. |
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you comfort me without even knowing it, you ease all worries without saying a word. you make the day brighter by just being in my world. you make me laugh at things i would of never seen funny before, you make me sleep when i fight it. |
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Life is in slow motion right now, I have to relearn to be patient and In truth that is not something i am really good at. I want to be with you sooooooooo much and know it will happen when it happens but when you put me to sleep i wish that i was looking into your eyes and feeling your lips upon my soul. I wish that i was all you want me to be but that one thing is still there and you say is not so big but i feel it will come between us in time. |
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For Master
my soul cries for you and longs for our souls to collide, I know the earth will open wide with our souls come together as one finally.... the stars will shine as they never have before as our journey together begins.....when we finally look into one anothers eyes our lips meeting for the first time... my thirst will be quenched.. as it has never been before. when our hands collide and mesh together pulling each other even closer.....hearts beating as one. our souls are together as they should of been from the start |
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MY FIRST TIME...
I had spoke to the Teacher online for a long time and finally the time
had come for us to meet after me stating i needed a spanking ~fyi~ i will
never say that to a Sadist again,,
It was close to my birthday so he said he would give me a birthday
spanking.. I was so excited but scared as well,,,, as i got dressed in
the outfit he had said for me to wear, i was shaking, so scared not sure
i would even show up.
I walked in and set out before me was so many items i did not even
know what they were. he spoke to me slowly and calmly and explained what
each and every one of them was and would show me how they would feel
against my being,,,,
He told me to kneel and then He asked me if i trusted Him i said with trembling lips
of course i do Sir, Then he says come to him on my knees and place my hands before
me, i was trembling so hard he had to take my hands in his to steady
them as he placed cuffs on my wrist,,, then pulled me closer and said
are you sure... and i said yes Sir, he then pulled my hair was a sensation i had never felt before
i could feel myself getting wetter by the second. and then i felt a pain
i had never felt before as the went on my nipples and he pulled them by the chain
the tears fell so fast and hard,,,, the pain was more than i though i could
bear,, then he said so you need a spanking? and i said yes Sir
and he pulled me up by the chain and the pain tore thru me like a million needles coursing thru
me...
He then clamped my wrist to a bar and said focus and remember to breath
then i felt it was like a lover caressing my skin so soft and tender
and i though wow i can handle this then the kisses started to turn a steady rain of pleasure pain i could not believe that the pain i was feeling
was making me so wet i was moaning, my body arching back waning more ant
more.... then i felt something diffrent like lil june bugs landing on my
tender skin then it turned to a fire on my backside then he would reach around
and pull on the chain , then the paddle kissed me over and over to the cane
ohhhhhh what pain it was but i wanted more and he could tell he kept going
till i was as weak as a lil kitten and my body was floating above myself.
this was the first time i felt i was at peace with who i was ...
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Master you have captured my mind.... the journey you are taking me on is one i live for every day and sooooooooo look forward to the times we can talk, and when you take me to that special place where i sleep for you it is sooo great i awaken knowing i am yours Master for the taking , i will never assume things anymore without asking as i jumped to the wrong conclusion today, so glad you forgave me. Master i will strive hard to make you proud of your girl. Hope you feel better if i was there would rub your tummy for you |
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Life is getting better and better seems i learn more about myself every day what i can do and less about what i cannot do, you are there for me in this time in my life, i want to make you sooooooooo happy like you have me. G. I am so grateful i peeked at your profile and you responded and you have made me sleep for you. Where i see myself as weak you do not. G with you i seem to know more about me and who and what i am thank you again for that. |
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Slowly you have entered in and made me feel safe and secure. You hold me in your mind you help me see what i should do by guiding me never pushing you make me see things as i should of to begin with, thanks for being there for me. |
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You make me happy and leave me smiling all the time. |
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HONOUR AND RESPECT 2 words that mean alot to so many of us in the lifestyle but so many who step in and try to tarnish those words by playing a game with people. I work hard at trusting all till it is no longer earned,as we are all human and make mistakes and that should be taken into account in life if it is always repeated then tis no longer a mistake, that takes away from the respect one has for another and the honour that was built between. |
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Soooooooooo sad i insulted someone and did not mean to a girl spoke before she thought, she knew in her heart he was not that way.... He is so kind and well mannered a rare thing on this site for sure,, please please forgive me for writing without thinking. |
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Love life, something new is always happening love how the rain gently falls and in the morning i can jump in the mud puddle. Ahhhhhh what memories that brings back, i loved seeing how many puddles i could jump in before i got caught. hmmm makes one think.
Tomorrow night i will have one of my grand children and together we will play in the mud and the puddles and see how many mud pies one can make in a short amount of time. I have my spoons and pans all ready for the time of my life.
Well i am off to bed. nighty night. |
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TODAY I TURN 49 WOW NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE THIS AGE..
the past week was a experience in going back in my past i travelled to california and loved every minute of it, had to force myself to return to oklahoma,I have to admit my heart has never really been here and when i made it back home driving all by myself and i enjoyed it granted would of loved to have a Master with me but alas not owned i made this journed alone traveled at my own pace took tons of pictures and had fun reconnecting with long lost family, sad part was going to place the ashes of my mom on all the graves she wished to be on. So i got to say good bye to so many in my small family so it seems is larger than we even thought.
The journey i have for myself this year is I hope to find the one i will be with forever and will grow beside him. I plan on another journey to california in the next year maybe in the next couple months, who knows what tomorrow holds for any of us.
well enough of my rambling for now as i go and finish making my b day dinner....... |
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Each day i work on being a better me from the time i awaken till the time i crawl in my bed, i want to be a great woman,mother and nana and the very best submissive i can be.
Those things require i be true to myself in all things i will bend but i cannot and do not want to be broken.
I take time each day to read some thing and one day i will be back in school.
I love to cook and bake but hate doing for just me but have told myself i am worth a home cooked meal every day so i explore and learn more on that making smaller and healthier foods,
I am bringing out my journal and joting in them every day if only a few words.
I am drawing even though i am not good at it relaxes me and i am doing for me and no one else but do the best i can as i do in all things.
I crave to find the Master who will push me and see i want to grow in all things in life from daily things to serving and growing as a better submissive.
So many look at me and yes i am a big girl i do not hide it but so many see that and tell me i cannot be a sub because of my big size. I can serve as well as anyone else because it is in my heart and soul to serve, if you cannot see how hungry i am to find One and serve him forever not a day or a week but till my last dying breath then i am for sure not the one,
I crave from my very core to be a better girl in all things,,,,, i remember growing up and my grandmother telling me that woman was put on this earth to please man, not to argue unless it was a life threatening matter, you dress to please him, cook to please him and keep your house to please him and in this you will both be happy, and i believe this and have always believed it.
Grandmother was a very wise woman in so many things and passed them on to me.
well that is about all i have to say today,,, thanks for reading my ramblings |
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MOVING FORWARD IN LIFE NOT LOOKING BACK, TIS ALWAYS BEST IN THINGS. I KNOW I HAVE NOT BEEN PERFECT BUT I DO THE BEST I CAN IN ALL I DO. WORKING ON MAKING ME A BETTER ME.FROM JUST BEING AROUND A CALMER PEOPLE AND REAL PEOPLE. SETTLING THINGS OUT GOING THRU MY MOMS STUFF HAVING A BIG ESTATE SALE THIS WEEKEND TO GET RID OF YEARS OF THINGS DO NOT THINK SHE EVER THREW ANYTHING AWAY. RECIEPTS FROM THE 60'S AS WELL AS ALOT OF ITEMS FROM THEN. MADE ME THINK OF ALL THE THINGS I HAVE SAVED AS WELL AND GOING THRU THEM GRANTED I DO NOT SAVE EVERY SCRAPE OF PAPER. BUT IN THIS MESS BROUGHT BACK ALOT OF MEMORIES SOME BAD SOME GOOD, FOUND ALOT OF MY GRANDMOTHERS ITEMS FROM QUILTS SHE MADE WITH LOVE TO THE DOLLIES WE MADE TOGETHER, TO EMBRODIRED PILLOW CASES AND SHEETS TO TABLE CLOTHES. I FOUND PICTURES I FORGOT ABOUT FAMILY HISTORY AND JEWLERY I THOUGHT HAD BEEN STOLEN YEARS AGO. SONGS A TEENAGER IN LOVE WROTE IN HER DIARY SO NO ONE COULD EVER SEE, ALL THE HIDDEN DREAMS OF A YOUNG GIRL WHO SAW SO MUCH IN THE FUTURE MAKES ON WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THOSE CAREFREE DAYS BUT I AM SEARCHING AND I WILL FIND THEM AGAIN AS I READ AND CRY DREAM AND REALIZE THOSE LOST DREAMS AND MAKE THEM A REALITY. |
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i fell asleep dreaming of you and in a dreamy mist i looked deep in your eyes looking for the truth and love we spoke of, was it real or is it a dream, a dream of dreamers all over to see there love, i fell asleep dreaming of your touch so light but yet so firm on my soul. i fell asleep hearing your voice calling me to you , i fell asleep wishing i was with you and no here all alone again, i fell asleep hoping that misty sleep of dreamers the stars in my eyes and the universe in my soul i fell asleep with the warmth upon my soul. |
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Just wanted to wish all a Happy Daddy Day. |
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is there any real people anymore real flesh and blood, who wants to have a loving daddys girl who craves to please him to cuddle and kiss spank and hold to wipe the tears away? to talk to learn and to grow? Some one who has a heart that can love and loaugh and be strict as well ? I would love to meet such a man so if you are real in other words say what you mean and mean what you say please feel free to contact me, i do not bite i do love to nibble though. |
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I am me i long to no crave to serve, when i think i have found someone it seems they say whatever i crave to hear, then the words start to change into things that i have said tis a limit from the start and it all crumbles because i do not do what they want, when i was upfront from the start just please be that way with me honest and upfront is that to much to ask for? |
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Yesterday tomorrow and always
i knew you before and loved you
i know you know and love you
in the next life i will love you again.
you have always been there tis just finding you, my past my today and my forever
i may not find you this lifetime but i do not
give up searching, i will seek you till my last dying breath
you are my soul mate, my Master, my lover and my friend you are my all and everything
i seek you to make our lives complete just like before
i seek you to love and cherish to serve and to please
i seek you as you complete me in so many ways
till that day i seek you with every breath i take. |
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I fell asleep with your face on my mind thru the mist i see your eyes the eyes that claim my soul, who can read my thoughts.
I fell asleep thinking of your touch how it makes me tremble not from fear but love
I fell asleep dreaming of you whispering in my ear good girl
I fell asleep thinking of your hands caressing me
I fell asleep thinking how i will please you every day of my life
I fell asleep knowing you are the one i will be with forever and a day
I fell asleep thinking of your hands warming my bottom
I fell asleep wondering where you are and when you will be with me when i awaken. |
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I would give all i am and all i will ever be to be in your arms
to feel the warmth of you, the smell of you and your hands
upon me.
I would give all to hear you say i am yours and will be always
I would give all to you |
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I dream
i dream of your eyes as they look into my soul
i dream of your eyes looking into mine
i dream of your eyes as you call me your little girl
i dream of your eyes as i learn to please you
i dream of you i yearn for you where are you? |
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PART TWO
i feel each stroke and take it as i do not wish to displease Master, yet this is new no one has ever
been allowed to use me before, is it a test to see if i will know Masters touch and if my body betrays
me as another uses me as he has before, my body does it trembles i hear myself moaning my body
on fire from pain and desire my nipples harden my pussy quivers and i know i cannot even ask for
release i learned this early on Master knows when i cannot take it anymore, but this is not Master using
me so i start to beg plead for the ache in me to be let free, then i feel it Masters hands around my
throat telling me what have i said before and i tremble knowing i will be punished but not only
that for displeasing my Master. But still i wonder if tis not Master using me then who is tugging and pulling
on my nipples, who is using the whip to mark me as none other i feel Master step back and the whip
comes down on me again and again the tears flow like a river not so much from the pain oh yes the
sweet pain, but knowing i have displeased my Master my heart my soul the one who i breath for.
i feel the chains slacken and wonder what is next in store for me,,,, what will happen then i feel Him
and "He says you wanted release you will be used for the little slut i know is hidden in you ,,, and i hear
Him laugh and walk away what is going to happen i wonder? |
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Master says you have done well this day go rest, i hear you and Master Richard speaking i hear you say i hope my slut has pleased you, Master Richard say yes she has pleased me but i would love to see her used for the pets i have yet to be able to see her used and filled with cum Master says you can see her used but let her rest for awhile as she has been used hard and i do not wish to harm my pet,,, Master Richard says ok and you two carry on as i curl up and drift off to sleep seems like only minutes before i feel you and Master Richard pissing on me and telling me time to awaken and be used as the slut you are,,, assume the position and i feel Master Richard rape my tender ass as you watch He is fucking me harder and deeper like the slut i am his hands reach up and wrap around my throat as He thrust deeper and harder you are watching his hands around my throat and watching me very carefully,,,, you tell M,R to slack up a bit on her i do not wish her harmed, MR pulls his hands slightly from my neck but still squeezing as you know this will bring me to sub space and a great orgasm and you do not want me there yet,,,,, but i am heading there fast,,,,, you say go ahead pet you have earned it,,, but be prepared ... i let myself go as MR thrust in me harder his balls slapping against my ass faster and faster i start to drift i am there i feel those balls tighten and his cock quiver i want to feel that load explode as he starts to pump into me i start to cum that is all it took and i was gone ,,,,,, next thing i know you are giving me ice water in my bowl and holding it to my lips telling me to drink my sweet pet ,
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i remember,,,,,,,,,
i remember the first time i looked into your eyes
and saw you looking into my soul
i remember the first time you let me touch you
as you touched my soul
i remember the first time your hands touched me
as you let me know it would be ok
i remember the first time i listened
as you whispered in my ear i was yours
i remember when your fingers traced down my neck
and my heart became yours
i remember the first time your lips touched mine
and i trembled in your arms
i remember when your fingers caressed my nipple
and i whimpered
i remember when you pinched my nipple the first time
and the tears rolled down my cheek
i remember when you took me for the first time
and i quivered around you
i remember when you spanked me for the first time
and my body gave me away
i remember the first time i knew i was yours
and how i fought myself
i remember the first time i knew what i was
and how you knew before i did
i remember when i surrendered
and how you made me feel |
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YEA i am so happy today, my day was made by a very simple act. |
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I am sorry i do not cam,cyber or phone sex with anyone from this site.I do not have a web cam even if i did would not. When and if i decide i am ready for someone else it will not be based on sex. |
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JUST WANTED TO WISH ALL A HAPPY NEW YEAR,MAY ALL GET WHAT THEY WISH FOR IN 09 |
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THIS IS A FANTASY
Master walks in and says kneel before him,today we are going to do something diffrent,, as you stroke my face and bend down to kiss me the long deep kiss that makes me weak in the knee,,,,, you place the blind fold on me then the leash to my collar and you led me to the door i can hear the storm out side the thunder sounds so much louder and i jump from the fear of the storm,,, you tell me lil one it will be okay trust me, i know to trust you with my very being,, but still i shudder when i hear the thunder strike,
you pull the van around and place me in the restraints in the back and i wonder where we are going you tell me to rest as you have a long night ahead of you ,
after what seems like miles you come back and let me lose of the restraints and guide me down to the ground with the leash i can feel the mud around my knees as i crawl after you and wonder where we could be i do not remember us ever being here and i stumble as i am not payin attention to you pulling my leash and you pull harder sort of dragging me behind you , telling me to hurry and keep up or else,,,,
suddenly i am not in the mud and i feel something else on my knees kinda of prickly then you tell me to rise and place m y hands above my head and i hear a chain and i am attached to it by my wrist ,,,,
then my legs are pulled apart and chained as well i am exposed you tell me i am to do as told do not ask questions and i answer yes Master
i feel you leaving my side and wonder where we are i can smell hay but i do not know of anyplace we have been that has hay ,,,, as i try to figure out where we are i feel a sting on my back and another my body tries to buckle but i am chained tight....
you or someone keeps whipping me i try to be good as i take stroke after stroke,,,,, then the person moves around to the front of me and fingers pull my nipples and right then and there i knew
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| Age: 24 |
| 31558,
Georgia |
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